Chapter 4
"Silly boy, why do you even try anymore?" a voice whispered around him. "You don't even know where you are, you don't even know who you are." The voice almost sounded angry at him.
"There is darkness surrounding him." A sad disembodied voice said.
"But so much light as well" This voice sounded happy.
"They are one of the same, though they will never truly understand." A serene voice stated.
"Together they could been great, together they could have ruled." The angry voice said.
"But how now? They are apart, dead to all but us and the vergence." A different voice chimed in. "Could she help? Could we get the girl to help him?"
At this his head snapped. It was like from a dream he had once had. The mention of a girl…. What girl? He tried to remember, to remember the girl, he could see her face in his mind, a young girl with brown hair, very pretty, especially when she smiled, which he didn't think she did much. He tried so hard to remember but every time he remembered there was pain, so much pain.
"She is no girl, but perhaps you are right. We should call for the Jedi." The serene voice said.
"She will not come." A sad voice said. "Do you know who he is? She will not help."
"Go to the scatter, see if she will come." The serene voice said.
With that there was finally silence which he appreciated. The endless chatter that was in his head seemed to never stop. He wondered if he was crazy, or maybe just a man in a dream that seemed to never end. But he knew that wasn't it, how could he dream inside a dream. Was he an addict, was he in a forever haze and that's why he heard the voices that weren't his? A dream inside of a dream. He wasn't sure how long he had been in this dream, but it seemed like years, decades, forever even. He could see people flash behind his eyes when he closed them, and death, so much death that it would overwhelm him. He would scream but nobody ever came. He was alone in this place, other than the voices that spoke to him. They really never even spoke to him, but spoke about him. He wondered at times if he were at a hospital, maybe he was unconscious and those were nurses, he could hear them but couldn't wake up to talk back to them. He could scream, he could rage, he could cry, but no one came to him. He could remember so much, but also nothing at the same time.
He stood up and walked around the barren land seeing geysers erupt in the distance. He had never seen any life on the planet, though he could feel it. He could feel life surrounding him like he was in a bustling crowed city center. There was power within the plant he was on, but he had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there. That is if he really is here and it's not all a dream.
When the voices weren't talking about him he would often walk around trying to find a way out. Or sometimes he would think of the faces he would see when he closed his eyes and wonder who each one was in his life. The older woman with her hair in a sophisticated braid smiling at him, he could only guess that she was his mother with the way she would look at him with so much joy in her eyes. He would then see her die, she would lay down so peacefully, close her eyes and he could feel grief wash over him when she would breathe her last breath. Pain racked through his stomach and he would wish he could just go with her at that time.
He would see a man, rough around the edges, but kind to him, only calling him Kid. He thought that it would be his father. He would see himself as a child sitting behind a star ship laughing with the man, feeling the exhilaration of flying, but then it would turn into a nightmare, he would turn around and there would be a violent blade piercing the man. Then in the dream, vision, memory, whatever it was, the man along with the ship would fall into a void leaving him behind feeling broken.
A man with a brown beard and boyish blue eyes would sometimes appear in his mind, he seemed wise, maybe a teacher of some sort. He would smile at him and was patient with him and talk to him but he could never understand what was said. It was like his words were being spoken under water. Then in a sudden change his face would turn ugly, hateful and green. He would cover his eyes and then the man with the beard would be gone.
But there was always the girl, she was his favorite. The girl with the dazzling smile, the girl that always tried to save him from himself. She was the light in this darkness, in his darkness. He imagined that she was his wife. That the two were in love, and lived in a small apartment. He would come home to her every evening and she would give him a kiss and ask him how his day was. That it was simple, it was peaceful, it was bliss. He knew deep down inside that it wasn't true, but he knew that he loved this girl. This woman whose smile made him feel lighter. He could feel her lips upon his sometimes, her tears upon his face. He could feel fear of losing her. She was a ray of light that brought him from his darkest thoughts.
He knew nothing on this planet, he didn't even know his name. He didn't know if he was asleep or awake, crazy or sane. The only thing he knew was that he loved her and wished that he could be in her arms, her light washing away all his darkness and rage.