She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 72)
by BrDPirateMan
I stared back at Eri in shock. The morning had barely started and already I had to keep my head from spinning off my neck.
"Who… Who are you?"
She had totally forgotten who I was. Amnesia… It's likely she got it from yesterday's accident. Must've hit her head real hard on the asphalt, what with all of those bandages and all…
In the meantime, however, she was still staring blankly at me, awaiting my response. I was a total stranger to her…
Not quite sure how to handle the situation, I muttered, "S-Sorry… I'll, uh… I'll get back to you later."
She said nothing and the two of us went back to our breakfast silently. My mind was far from silent though. A million thoughts were buzzing through my head. What should I do? I didn't even know where to begin.
After breakfast I just sat there trying to think of how I could get through to her. I'd come up with something, but inevitably shoot it down myself. No matter what I wanted to say, I'd just look like some weirdo.
Presently a doctor came in, followed by a nurse pushing along a wheelchair. He approached Eri's bed and spoke to her.
"So how are you feeling this morning?"
"I'm a little groggy," she muttered, fiddling with her head bandages. "But otherwise I think I'm okay… for what that's worth."
"Good, good. Have you had your breakfast already?"
"Yes."
"Right then. I'll need to perform a quick checkup on you and ask a few questions so please come with me."
With slow stilted movements she hauled herself out of bed and eased herself into the wheelchair with the nurse's help. Then I watched as the three of them left the ward. Most heartbreakingly, Eri didn't even take one last look at me before she was gone.
All I could do was wait and see what happened next. It sucked but there was no point crying over spilt milk.
But until then, I had myself a visitor.
"It's good to see you're all right!" said Shiki, carrying a bag of fruits. "Too bad about your arm though."
"Yeah, I got a little unlucky…"
"On the contrary, I'd say you're plenty lucky. The broken arm sucks, but it'll heal and most importantly, you're still here."
"I… I suppose, if you put it that way…"
"No, seriously, Neku," she said, placing the bag on my bedside table. "I'm glad that all things considered, you're alive and well."
It's nice that she showed concern for my welfare, and while it didn't do much to abate the unease in my heart, it still helped.
"Thanks, Shiki… I appreciate it."
"Hey, don't mention it. By the way, where's Eri?"
And now the heavy feeling in my gut was back in full force. I gulped, wondering how I should break the news to her.
"Is she in another ward?" she continued, before her brow furrowed with worry. "I was told she'd be here. Hope she's okay…"
As a friend, it was my responsibility to tell her the truth. It's not fair to keep her in the dark when she's so eager to know how her bestie was doing. As for the amnesia bit, I should break the news to her as gently as I could manage. This was going to be tricky…
"Well, Eri's with the doctor for a bit," I said. "She's going for a checkup. Got a few bruises here and there from the looks of it. But otherwise she's okay, I think."
Shiki's shoulders slackened with relief. "That's good. Heh, this is her we're talking about. She'll bounce back real quick, I'm sure."
I was about to give a reply when the doctor from earlier came back, with his nurse in tow, wheeling Eri along. Shiki gasped upon seeing her battered friend and had to resist the urge to give her a big hug.
"Eri!" she went. "Thank goodness! How are you feeling?"
The pink-haired girl was startled, but composed herself quickly enough to give a polite reply. "Uh… I'm okay, I think."
As she was helped back into bed, Shiki kept talking excitedly. "That's great news! Listen, I brought some fruits for you two. You know, apples and stuff. Oh, and check this out, Eri." She fished out a fashion magazine from within the bag. "I even got you the latest issue of Shibuya Monthly. There are some pretty cool clothing designs inside. Maybe they'll give you some ideas?"
Unsure of how to reply, Eri just stared at her blankly, maintaining the ghost of a smile on her lips. At this point, our bespectacled friend started to notice that something was amiss.
"Eri? …Wh-What's the matter?"
"Uh, I… I hate to sound like a bad person, but have… have we met?"
"Huh?"
It was Shiki's turn to be shocked. Unlike me, however, she was quicker to realize that her friend wasn't joking around.
"What happened?" The poor girl was aghast, struggling to stand straight. "D-Do you not recognize me?"
Eri hesitated, unsure of how to answer. Slowly, she shook her head.
"We're in the same boat," I told Shiki. "She doesn't remember who I am either."
"What? Then could she – "
The doctor cleared his throat. "Pardon my cutting in, but I take it the three of you are acquainted with each other. You ought to listen carefully. I'll just do a quick recap of sorts for everyone's benefit."
The three of us went silent and were all ears. Shiki stood rooted to the spot, motionless. The air stayed stagnant in my lungs as I feared to even breathe. And Eri… well, she just looked so lost. I wanted to at least hold her hand to reassure her that everything would work out, but I was a stranger to her. She wouldn't react well. That and, well, I couldn't reach her from where I was sitting.
The doctor took it in turn to glance at me and Eri. "Mr Sakuraba and Miss Tanikawa, as you are probably aware, the two of you were involved in a road accident. You were hit by a motorcycle. Thankfully, both of you are relatively fine… though there's the matter of your broken arm…" – he turned to address me – "…but even then you'll be fine with some rest and good food."
I instinctively reached for my left arm and gave the cast a light squeeze. This thing would be stuck with me for a while…
"And," continued the doctor, "there's also the matter of… what happened to you."
It was Eri whom he spoke to as he said this. My chest tightened. An anxious Shiki pounced on his words.
"What do you mean, doctor? What happened to Eri?"
He wasted no time laying down the facts.
"Ms Tanikawa has amnesia. She has no memory of the past five or six years."
Five, six years? That's practically the entire time Eri has been in Shibuya! Her high school years… her time in college… our friendships… Had she really forgotten all about them?
We looked to Eri for answers but she had none to give. If anything, the one who needed answers was her. The poor thing. And with how quiet she had become, it's like she was a completely different person. Gone was the cheerful fun-loving girl and in her place a listless shell of her former self. It was hard to recognize her.
Shiki sounded desperate as she spoke to the doctor. "Isn't there any way to get her memory back?"
"The only thing you can do is to wait. Sometimes an amnesiac will recover without having to do anything. It could be a few days before that happens… or a few weeks, or maybe even a few months. But in the worst-case scenario, she may not even get her lost memory back."
What? There's a chance Eri may permanently forget everything that had happened during the past five or six years?
Within this time I'd befriended her, grown closer to her till we'd become bosom buddies… We became an official couple and shared at least two years' worth of good times together. Everything was going so well… and now I'm told she may just forget it all?
I know she may get better, but as long as the possibility that she may not remained…
The room spun as the weight of the truth weighed down on me. I felt very sick. But I willed myself to keep my breakfast in my stomach where it belonged.
"Th-There's got to be a way," I said, though I was in all truth unsure of my own words. "Surely there has to be."
"The least you can do for the time being," said the doctor, "is to re-introduce yourselves to her. That'd make for a good first baby step. But please don't overwhelm her with too much information. Her mind is in a delicate state right now and as upset as you are, she has it the hardest."
True. It must suck to have a gaping hole where your memories used to be. Gotta go gentle on her…
The doctor went away to attend to other patients. Shiki and I were left to help Eri fill in the gaps. She went first.
"Um, m-my name is Shiki Misaki. We've known each other since high school. In fact, we're best friends."
My turn. It was awkward, and the doctor's advice rang in my head. I felt like I was treading on egg shells the entire time.
"I'm Neku Sakuraba. I am also a friend of yours… not only that, I've been your boyfriend for the past two years."
"A boyfriend?" Eri blinked at me, confused. "I have a boyfriend?"
"Y-Yes, that's me."
"A-Are you sure about that? You don't look like you're my type."
Ouch… talk about blunt!
Patience, Neku! She's got amnesia; of course her thought processes would be a bit jumbled up.
"It's true," said Shiki. "Oh, that's right!" She fished out her phone and, after tapping on the screen a bit, showed it to Eri. "Look at this pic the five of us took together."
"Five?"
"Yeah, there's the two of us, and Neku, and Beat and Rhyme. Does this ring any bells?"
It was a photograph of the entire gang, taken when we'd just graduated from high school. Eri and I flanked Shiki on the left and the Bito siblings were to her right.
Eri examined the photo wordlessly for a few moments. And then, hovering her finger over Beat and Rhyme, she said, "These two… they're my friends too?"
"That's right."
"Where are they? Right now, that is."
"They, um, should be here soon…" With their finals finished and no reason to stick around in Nagoya, they came back home a couple of weeks ago. Knowing them, they were sure to show up within the hour.
At any rate, Shiki had the right idea, showing her that photo. I should follow suit and let Eri take a look at some of the photos we had together. Perhaps this would help jog her memory.
"Oh yeah," I said, "I got lots more pics on my phone. Here, let me show you."
I showed her the first of several of our most recent photos. We had this one taken during our mountain resort vacation not too long ago. The two of us were flashing the V sign with the inn behind us as a backdrop.
"What do you think of this, Eri?"
Her eyes glinted in a brief flash of recognition, but sadly it was not because she got her memory back.
"That's Kurogane Inn," she gushed. "Did I really go there?"
"Y-Yeah, final exams were over and we went there together to celebrate. It was about a couple of weeks ago."
"Hmmm…" And she was back to being somber again. "Can't say I recall…"
"That's fine. I have plenty of other photos. One of them is bound to help. Ah, there should be one we took in front of the Statue of – "
I swiped across the screen, hoping to find said photograph. Instead, without warning, I suddenly came face-to-face with one of Eri's cheeky selfies. She was butt-naked with one arm wrapped around her breasts.
Before anyone got a good look at it, I yanked my phone away.
Both girls looked at me in puzzlement. "Wh-What's wrong?" asked Shiki.
"Th-That photo didn't turn out well," I replied, laughing nervously. "Too, um, blurry."
With some reluctance I deleted the photo. It won't be good to show something so shocking to someone whose mind was in a fragile state. At least there was some solace in the fact that I had saved a backup copy in my laptop.
Trying to look as natural as possible, I placed the phone back in Eri's hands, flipping through some much safer photos. "Ahem… now, uh, anyway, where were we…"
Just then, two people strode into the ward. One a tall man with an intimidating frown, the other a woman with an equally joyless expression on her face. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end when our eyes met.
Eri gasped. "Mum? Dad?"
Yes, her parents were here. Her memories of them were unaffected by her amnesia, so she recognised them instantly. They must have heard about what happened to their daughter and came rushing over.
"Eri, how are you faring?" asked Mrs Tanikawa, with no small amount of concern. "You're not hurt too badly, are you?"
"I, uh… just some bruises here and there. But…"
"Here, let me have a quick look at you."
Eri's mother was a doctor, you see. What I didn't expect was for her tote bag to be full of medical utensils, which she used to do a cursory examination on her daughter. Out came the stethoscope, the tongue depressor and more – even a portable blood pressure reader.
Her father was still as stern as ever but beneath his cold exterior you could sense his worry.
"You're pretty lucky to still be here," he remarked. "What were you doing when it happened?"
"Um…" Eri paused to think, but eventually replied, "I don't remember…"
He stared at her, his face creased deep with wrinkles. The whole time he spoke with her, he completely ignored me as well as Shiki.
"Do you remember anything from yesterday?"
Eri took a moment to think it through, then shook her head.
"How about last week?"
Still no.
"Well, you had your finals not too long ago. Surely you can recall something?"
"I… I already had my final exams?"
"So you don't even remember that. Hmmm…"
"Um, Mum, Dad… listen. Don't be alarmed, but I'm told I have amnesia…"
"We know," said her mother, packing away her tools. "We were told all about it. But don't worry. We'll think of something. I'm a doctor."
Mr Tanikawa said, "We don't know what she was doing at the time of the accident, though."
I raised my hand sheepishly, trying to grab their attention. "Um, Mr and Mrs Tanikawa, if I may…"
Both parents turned to me. Mr Tanikawa's attitude towards me was frigid as ever; apparently he was still bitter that his daughter had chosen to go out with the 'wrong guy'. To give him credit, he did at least recognize that I was injured, but that's as far as he was willing to go. His concern for my welfare was another thing altogether and still sorely lacking.
"Sakuraba," he said. "Got a little roughed up yourself, I see. You had something to say? Then let's hear it."
His cold demeanor caught me off guard for a half second – anyone else would at least say, "How are you?" while he didn't – but I pulled myself together and started talking.
"Eri and I were out getting groceries yesterday evening. It was when we were crossing the road that this guy on a motorbike flew in out of nowhere and rammed into us. I… I hardly had time to react."
Satisfied that her daughter was in no immediate danger, Mrs Tanikawa spoke to me. The show of mild outrage on her part was a breath of fresh air compared to her husband's lack of empathy.
"You mean the motorcyclist was actually speeding?"
"Sure seemed like it. He was going real fast."
She shook her head. "That's terrible. People nowadays with their carelessness and such… Well, it could have been worse. At least, for what it's worth, you're both still here."
"Th-Thanks, Mrs Tanikawa."
Her husband said nothing as he glared at me. He was understandably unhappy about the current situation, but it'd be nice if he could just dislike me less. If there's anyone he should direct his anger at, it would be that irresponsible motorcyclist.
Eri's parents continued to converse with her, asking her various questions to gauge the extent of her memory loss. The answer to most of what they asked was "I don't know" or "I don't remember". Shiki, who had been sitting on the sidelines ever since the Tanikawas arrived, finally had a chance to talk. She carried out a surreptitious conversation with me.
"I've never met Eri's folks before," she whispered. "She's talked about them many times, but now that I've seen them in the flesh… they're kinda serious-looking, aren't they?"
"Well, that's how they are. Truth be told, they scare me a little."
"You don't say. Her mum seems okay, but her dad doesn't look like the fun and friendly sort."
"I'm hoping for the one day when he finally thinks I'm okay."
"Then you've got a long road ahead of you, Neku…"
Shortly thereafter the doctor from before came back into the ward, and found himself inundated with questions from both parents. The doctor reassured them that their daughter was okay but also mentioned that there was a slight chance her amnesia might be irreversible. Upon hearing this, Mrs Tanikawa maintained her cool composure at first glance, but looking closer her face was a shade paler than usual. Mr Tanikawa was as grim-faced as usual.
"Your daughter," said the doctor, "has a number of bruises all over her, and she hit her head pretty hard. As a matter of fact, X-rays reveal her skull has a hairline fracture…"
"A fracture?!"
"Don't worry. Hairline fractures are quick to heal. No broken pieces either. Her skull is relatively intact. You need not do anything unless complications arise, which I doubt is likely at all. Long story short, your daughter is safe from harm."
Mr Tanikawa said, "There is nothing I should worry about, then?"
"No. And with some luck and the right stimuli, even her memory may return to normal."
"Stimuli?"
"Anything that may jog her memory. Mementos, photographs… you can try taking her to places she has been too."
"Hmmm…"
Mr Tanikawa rubbed his chin, deep in thought. I didn't like this pause. It's like he had something planned and I was pretty sure I wouldn't like it.
He next asked the doctor, "So is she well enough to be discharged?"
The doctor took a moment to think. "I'd normally have her kept here for another day in case of anything, but her injuries are not particularly serious. I'd say that yes, she may be discharged right now if you wish."
Uneasy, I felt my stomach muscles tightening. The Tanikawa parents exchanged glances at each other and spoke in hushed tones that I couldn't make out. I had an idea of what they were thinking and I secretly hoped they would not go through with it. Shiki looked really uncomfortable too.
"Can't say I like where this is going," she said to me, out of earshot. "It stinks of bad news."
Mr Tanikawa's voice cut short my conversation with Shiki.
"Alright," he said. "We'll take Eri back home now."
Without thinking, I impulsively blurted out, "W-Wait, 'home'? As in…"
He turned to me, lips pursed in thinly-veiled disdain. "Fukushima."
Fukushima? All the way back there?!
It was Mrs Tanikawa who elaborated for my benefit. "Since Eri is feeling fine – more or less – we thought it'd be best to nurse her back to health in more familiar surroundings. In a relaxed environment she might be able to recover from her amnesia sooner. At least that's what we're hoping."
Sound logic there, I had to admit. But…
…why did I get the horrible feeling that once Eri left the hospital I'd never see her again?
At this point I guess I was desperate to keep her by my side because I made a suggestion that, on hindsight, was rather dumb.
"Well, I could look after Eri in your stead. Since we both stay under one roof and classes have long finished, we'd be around each other at all times. It'd be easy for me to keep track of how well she's faring."
Uneasily, Shiki muttered, "Um, but Neku, that's – "
"You… You live together with me?" That was Eri, who blinked at me in surprise. "How long has this been a thing?"
The veins bulged up on Mr Tanikawa's temples. I shuddered to tell the truth.
"Been about… oh, two years by now."
"Two years? Wow, two years…"
Mrs Tanikawa was far calmer than anyone else. "That aside, I appreciate your concern, Sakuraba. But how can you take care of someone when you aren't even fully recovered yourself? Why, you only have one good arm."
Dammit, she's right. I couldn't do anything in this state. If anyone needed looking after, it was me.
It was Mr Tanikawa who put his foot down and killed our discussion once and for all. The finality of his words was undeniable.
"Eri is coming back with us to Fukushima. End of story."
As the nurse helped Eri into a wheelchair, Shiki and I could only watch helplessly. And the horrible feeling in my gut grew worse.
Before she was wheeled out, she turned to us with a weak but heartfelt smile.
"Uh… Neku, Shiki… it's only been a short while, but you've tried so hard to help me get my memory back. Thank you so much."
"Oh, um…" For a moment Shiki didn't quite know what to say. "D-Don't mention it."
"Even if I can't recall the details, I'm pretty sure we were great pals before. My amnesia should go away in a bit… and when it does, I'll come look you up."
A strange mixture of emotions was bubbling inside of me. Sure, it was a sad occasion, but my heartstrings were pulled to their limit and I was touched beyond measure. Shiki went over to her and grasped both of her friend's hands.
Tears welling in her eyes, she choked, "Take as much time as you need. We'll be waiting."
"Okay!"
Fighting back tears myself, I said, "When you're all better, I'll treat you. Blueberry crepes sound good?"
"Gosh, yes! I love anything blueberry-flavored! Neku, how did you know?"
"You told me. Many times."
"Really?" The grin that Eri flashed me transformed her face. "Then I oughta get well real soon. I got a blueberry crepe with my name on it."
Hearing that was… astonishing. It was like catching a glimpse of the old cheerful Eri, even if it was brief. Perhaps there was hope she could come back to us after all. That was the moment my protective shield fell… and I wept.
But our goodbyes were unceremoniously cut short when her father announced, "Alright, Eri. We're leaving now."
The three of us buddies exchanged a brief round of goodbyes, and then Eri vanished when she wheeled out of the ward. Everyone else followed suit and walked out, with her father the last one to leave.
Mr Tanikawa's profile was about to disappear out the door when he hesitated for a second and he could be heard saying, "Hold on, you go on ahead. I'll catch up with you real quick."
And then he came back in, making a beeline for me. That took me by surprise, and as a result my tear ducts kinda dried up in the spot.
"Sakuraba," he said, face all stern and humorless, "do you remember what you said when we last met?"
"Wh-What I said?"
"You promised me that you would protect my daughter."
"Yes, I did say that…"
"But she ended up injured on your watch. Not only that, she now has amnesia."
Wait, he can't seriously be insinuating –
"You didn't protect my daughter as you promised. All of this is your fault."
His accusation shocked me. I knew he didn't like me but to say I was responsible for his daughter's mishap? I was so bewildered by his words that I couldn't find it in myself to say anything back. I mean, what was one supposed to think of this?
Shiki, however, was livid and immediately bit back, her words mirroring my thoughts to a T.
"How is any of this Neku's fault? It was an accident!"
He barely afforded her a glance as he answered, "Had Sakuraba not taken her out shopping during a busy evening where traffic is at its heaviest, none of this would have happened." He then turned to me, anger blazing in his eyes. "This is what you get when you expose yourself and others to danger. That you brought this upon yourself is one thing. Dragging my daughter into it, however, is another and I cannot forgive that."
"Are you for real?!" snapped Shiki. "This isn't fair!"
I was glad that she's arguing for my sake, but I knew I couldn't stay silent. And so I fought back too, albeit in a calmer manner. Sometimes it's just not done fighting fire with fire.
"Mr Tanikawa," I began, "I'm afraid I can't agree with your logic. Eri and I were walking across the road on a zebra crossing, when the traffic had stopped and it was safe to do so. The guy on the motorbike just came rushing in when he shouldn't. We just happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time."
"You still claim to be innocent?" he growled. "Not even going to bear responsibility for what happened?"
"If you're referring to me taking care of your daughter, I'm more than glad to shoulder it in full. But what happened to us was beyond my control."
Backing me up, Shiki said, "You can't blame Neku for something that's not even his fault to begin with."
He had nothing to say to that and merely pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"We're done talking," he sighed. "Sakuraba, if you care that much about her, then I ask this of you: please, never see or speak to her again."
Now he didn't want me to come into contact with Eri at all? Why? This was too much!
His callous attitude was more than Shiki could take and she snapped, "Hey, don't be unreasonable! He's done nothing wrong!"
But her protests fell on deaf ears. He started to walk towards the door, intent on leaving. I couldn't let him walk all over me like this just because he felt I wasn't worthy of his daughter's attention. I had to voice out my thoughts, let myself be heard.
And so I called out to him. "Mr Tanikawa, wait."
"Farewell. We'll not meet again."
"I'm not giving up on Eri."
I must have pushed a button, because he immediately turned back to shoot a glare at me. But at least I got his attention and thus I continued:
"Mr Tanikawa, I understand you are upset. I'm not a parent myself, but I can see how you would be angry for your daughter's sake. With all due respect, however, I can't just abandon Eri. Not when I've promised not to."
He hesitated for a second, but ultimately chose to end the argument without another word. And just like that he was gone.
As soon as he was out of sight, Shiki fumed, "What's his problem? Geez!"
I pursed my lips. "Yeah, that was uncalled for."
"It's not fair! It's almost like he's looking for an excuse to keep you away from Eri!"
"And that's precisely what he's trying to do. He never did like me much."
"But what now? The way he says it, it's like he intends to keep Eri in Fukushima. And what about her amnesia? We don't know if she'll ever recover. Actually, scratch that. We don't know if she'll ever come back to Shibuya!"
"Shiki." I reached out for her arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let's not get all panicky. It's still too early to give up yet."
"I… but… no, you're right." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "No point crying over spilt milk. Still, I'm worried for Eri's sake… scared, even. I have no idea what's gonna happen to her."
"Me neither. I don't want to lose her either… but staying too negative isn't going to do us any good. There must be something we can do, we just don't know what yet."
"Yeah, I know." Giving me a small smile, she continued, "Eri's optimism sure rubbed off on you, huh, Neku?"
Maybe. But truth be told, I was just as frightened as she was, perhaps a lot more. I didn't want Eri to just disappear from my life, just like that. We'd been together for far too long for me to entertain that thought. And there were our friends too. With how integral she'd become to our lives, we'd all be a sad bunch without her.
And here Shiki thought I was being optimistic. When life sucks, I guess that's all you can do.
"Well," I said, "it's still too early to give up yet."
XOXOXOXOXO
During my stay in the hospital I was visited by friends and family alike on different occasions – the Bito siblings, Mr H and the Reapers, a few of my college buddies and of course, my aunt and uncle.
One of the first things they demanded to know was where the hell Eri went. The hardest part was telling the truth. There wasn't a single person who wasn't in shock.
"Whatchu mean, yo?!" snapped Beat. "Whatchu mean, 'Eri's parents took 'er back home'?!"
If it weren't for Rhyme restraining him he would have shaken me by the shoulders so much my head would have fallen off. She wanted answers as much as he did, though.
"So what happened, Neku? Why'd she have to go back to her hometown?"
At any rate, by the time I was discharged two days later, everyone knew the whole story. Some were outraged, some were bewildered beyond belief. But all the same, unsure that she may even be back at all, we were sad. She was our favourite comedian, prankster and sex maniac all rolled into one, and we missed her.
None more so than me, though.
Finally back in the comfort of my own apartment, I called out once I'd closed the front door behind me:
"Eri, I'm home!"
Wait… that's not right. There's no one around to hear it. No one to greet me at the doorway. No one to give me a big ol' hug.
This was my reality but a small part of me refused to believe it. The vacant apartment heard me rattle off a weak chuckle.
"Trying to prank me, eh? Come on, Eri. I know you're somewhere."
My words were met with nothing. She was nowhere to be seen. The place was so silent it almost felt like something out of a post-apocalyptic scenario.
I scratched the back of my neck, slightly sheepish at my own foolishness. But mostly sad.
Throughout the day I went about my business as well as I could manage. With only one good arm and a battered body, it wasn't easy. Doing the dishes, as I found out the hard way, was a monumental task. In fact, seeing how much trouble I had doing a task I previously thought nothing of, I decided to do away with the more demanding chores altogether. I was probably better off resting anyway, which was exactly what I did.
Oh yeah, I couldn't play a lot of video games to pass the time either; most of them required the use of two hands. I couldn't win. So I got to watch a lot of TV instead.
It was here that I began to regret not accepting Auntie and Uncle's offer to stay over at my place temporarily. I could have used the extra helping hand (heh). But no, I had to say I'd be fine, that I could manage somehow. They were probably rehearsing how to say "I told you so" the next time they came over to visit.
At least they left me with some homemade food and a promise that they'll drop off more every now and then. Out of curiosity I opened one of their tiffins and found a bounty of steamed prawns braised in soy sauce. A simple dish, but one I enjoyed immensely. It tasted like home.
"Cool," I said aloud, a smile forming on my lips. "Hey Eri, are you a fan of steamed – "
That's when I caught myself mid-sentence. Come on, Neku, get a grip. She ain't here.
Sadly, I mumbled, "Well… more for me, then…"
I grabbed a packet of potato crisps and sat down to watch TV, only to find that I could not concentrate on the show. Eri was all that filled my head, which in turn led me to think about her father. His dislike for me stemmed from a difference in social hierarchy levels – Eri came from a rich family, mine was middle-income. But it was no justification for treating me the way he did. I could understand him taking her back to Fukushima to have her treated, but to say that I didn't deserve to see her again…?
No, I won't have any of it. It wasn't fair, not just to me but also her. I mean, just how far did Mr Tanikawa want to control her life? I needed to make it clear to him once and for all that I was completely dedicated to making his daughter happy. The cold war between man and future father-in-law would never end otherwise.
Of course, right now it was all pretty inconvenient. Eri and I were literally miles apart and I was convalescing for good measure. I'd need at least another couple of days at the very least before I could even think of doing anything for myself.
Presently, while I was surfing channels, I happened upon a music video featuring indie singer Ryoko*L. She had her hair dyed neon purple at some point, but otherwise remained a dead ringer for my girlfriend. There's just one major difference…
Chuckling to myself, I muttered, "Too bad Eri's tone-deaf…"
"Like you're one to talk."
"H-Huh?"
Then, without warning, Eri's voice blistered through my eardrums, singing a J-pop song with all of the grace of a weasel's rump. I had to cover my ears, but it was hardly any good.
"When you hold me in your arms, I feel so safe from harm… The shadows that stalk in the night, they – "
"Eri!" I grunted. "Cut it out! I can see my life flashing before my eyes!"
There was no one behind me when I turned, however. The singing stopped abruptly too.
Did I just hallucinate or something? Weird…
Maybe I needed a bath to clear my head. I've had a lot on my mind these past few days.
Again, it wasn't easy bathing with only one hand. I had to roll the soap in my free hand to generate some foam before spreading it on myself. Not the most fun thing ever, since it was so tedious. And since it's impossible to soap up the same arm, I had to make do with rubbing said arm on my lathered chest.
The soap slipped comically out of my hand as I was working on a new batch of foam. Under my breath I swore.
"Dammit."
"Hee hee! Need some help?"
"What the – "
I had no idea if I was really seeing this or I was looking through my mind's eye. It didn't help that the steam was thick and made the bathroom all misty. But standing in the midst of it was the lady herself – Eri, clad in a bath towel and sporting a cheeky smile.
Even when I had no idea what was going on anymore, I couldn't suppress the urge to throw out a deadpan remark. By this point her imaginary appearance was like a running gag so I just rolled with it.
"You know, there's a thing called privacy…"
"And in this household there's none!" she said, grinning widely. "You should know that by now."
"Yeah, it's kind of a precious commodity around here."
"Okay, Neku, turn around and I'll show you a good time. Actually, no. Don't turn around yet."
"Huh?"
Finger to her lips, she giggled. "Watch."
Eri peeled off her towel, letting it drop at her feet. It was an impressive show… and she could tell I liked it. She was even generous enough to kneel before me and give me a closer look. But she wasn't done yet. She grabbed the soap dispenser, tilted her body backwards slightly… then proceeded to drizzle liquid soap all over her front. All I could say was… wow.
Upon noticing a certain detail on me, she raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Someone's getting excited…"
I trailed her gaze southwards, confirming that the lady spoke the truth. But could you say it was my fault? I was only a man.
Sheepishly, I turned around to hide it. "Ahem… excuse me."
"Heh, yeah, you do that. I'm gonna wash your back now, okay? Just sit back and pretend I'm a jumbo-sized loofah or something."
"Sounds good."
"Careful," she laughed. "I like to get a little… rough."
"Rough is nice. Go for it."
"Hee hee… okay, here I come!"
At the last possible moment I snapped out of it. My little daydream burst like a bubble and I was left alone in the bathroom once more. Imaginary or otherwise, I would not be feeling her wonderful chest on my back anytime soon.
Okay, these distractions were starting to get a little out of hand. At this rate, Eri's going to be in the kitchen cooking me dinner. And it'll be prawn tempura. The spicy kind.
Damn, I gotta stop this! I could almost smell the aroma already!
Indeed, the first thing I did once I got out of the bathroom was to check if the stove was on. It wasn't.
Enough with the hallucinations. The best way to tackle them would be with a head-on approach. I helped myself into her room, finding it untouched since that fateful evening. I knew this for a fact because the bra she left hanging off the edge of her bed was still in the exact same position. She never came back…
I studied the belongings around her room in a sweeping gaze. Her dresser was perpetually cluttered with beauty products. Sticky notes blanketed the side of the dresser mirror – "Meet Shiki tomorrow", said one; "Buy shoes", said another. The posters on her wall featured Ryoko*L and a couple of her favourite singers. Sketches of clothing designs adorned her desk. She's a hard worker, never giving up on her passion.
Also on her desk was a book with a bookmark stuck between the pages; looking closer, I realized it was an erotic novel. Additionally, some of the pages had been dog-eared and looked rather crinkly, suggesting that she went back to read them often. True enough, a quick scan revealed that every one of said pages contained a sex scene. She even circled an especially graphic paragraph in pencil, adding "Good stuff!" as an annotation. I chuckled to myself. That's Eri for you. Ever the sex maniac.
The bookmark slipped out as I was flipping through the pages. I wanted to return it to its place, but froze.
She'd glued a photo of us onto it. Our cheeks were practically soldered together with how close she was to me when it was taken. But what really got my attention was the caption she wrote above our faces:
TOGETHER FOREVER! X3
Eri being crazy about me was practically a scientific fact, but this cemented it even more. I was easy to let the feels course through me…
…and then I noticed something else. She'd drawn an arrow at my face and included a few words:
Bit of a huge geek but still a fun boyfriend
I chuckled. The "geek" part wasn't inaccurate at all. And it's strangely touching that she could think a geek like me could even be "fun".
Eri…
If only she was here… Life wasn't the same without her.
Well, tomorrow's a new day.
XOXOXOXOXO
I tore the page off the calendar and stared, unimpressed, at the date.
"Wow," I mumbled to myself, "it's been that long, huh?"
Then it was back to scarfing down pizza and watching a TV show I didn't care about. And half the time, I wasn't even watching. I was flicking through the photo gallery on my phone, looking at pictures of Eri.
Been a week since I was discharged, and it was a week I spent at home doing little but recuperating. It was the most boring seven days of my life.
I also didn't eat well. Sure, the stuff Auntie and Uncle gave me was good old-fashioned home cooking, but I also pigged out on lots of unhealthy snacks. Healthy lifestyle it sure wasn't. …Wait.
Was I actually getting a beer gut? I lifted my shirt and took a long hard look at my tummy, pinching the skin. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't convince myself that this was simply an optical illusion. It wasn't big, but it was still the real thing. Real belly fat.
"Oh, fantastic," I grumbled, "now I'm beginning to look like Beat. All that snacking really paid off."
Once I got this cast off, I swore I'd hit the pool and swim lots of laps. Without a girlfriend in a swimsuit, however, the incentive just wasn't that strong…
Speaking of which, there were multiple times where I considered giving Eri a call, or at least send her a message to ask how she was doing. But no, she forgot who I was, so I'd just look like a creepy nobody contacting her out of the blue. And of course, seeing her in person was next to impossible; I was in no shape to go anywhere.
The whole thing was like a cruel joke. Graduation was close at hand and we'd be free to sculpt our lives as we wished. It was the ultimate dream, well within reach, and we were so close to making it real.
But then motorbikes had to exist.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Visitors?
My two Reaper friends had shown up at my doorstep, along with a third, unexpected guest.
"Hiya, Phones," said Mr H. "Hope we aren't intruding."
He never dropped by before, so his appearance caught me off guard. "Oh! Uh, this is a surprise. Come on in, y'all."
The four of us were seated each with a cup of green tea in hand. We made small talk, but ten yen told me they had a purpose in coming here. That Mr H had tagged along for the ride didn't help matters. This was serious business.
Not only that, I had a good idea of what they wanted to talk about.
"And that," chuckled Kariya, finishing up on one of his little anecdotes, "was how my first experience with cooking cabbage stir-fry turned out. Not the most pleasant thing, but pretty funny on hindsight."
"Well, you didn't burn the place down," said Uzuki bluntly. "That's an accomplishment."
Mr H laughed the hardest, jovial guy that he was. But eventually it was time for a real talk and it was him who initiated it.
"Alright, Phones," he said, "we all know what we're here for. Let's cut to the chase and get down to brass tacks."
Straightforward as ever, Uzuki said, "It's about Eri."
"Yeah." I bit my lip. "Thought so."
"What happened to her? I mean, we know what happened with the amnesia and stuff, but… is she coming back or what?"
"I don't know… I wish I had a clue myself. But if her dad is anything to go by…"
Kariya exhibited a rare burst of irritation – not directed at me though. He was unhappy about Eri's father's behavior. They'd all heard about it when they came to visit me in the hospital.
"So… not coming back, eh. Come on, that's not cool of her dad."
I sighed. "She's staying in Fukushima because being at home may help trigger the return of her memories."
"I… I know, man. I just don't know if this is the right way to do things. She's your girl and it's clear she loves you, but… well… I guess if you're a parent you'll see things differently, I dunno…"
"Thanks, I appreciate your concern."
Mr H leaned backwards into the couch and steepled his fingers. "So, Phones… What do you intend to do now?"
I hesitated to reply. I knew what my answer was, but it was a crazy one. Anyone with common sense would say, "Dream on."
But I also believe someone said the best things often come from the craziest ideas.
Everyone was waiting for my answer. And I said, with renewed determination:
"I'm not giving up on Eri. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm gonna fix this whole thing somehow. And if she never recovers… if she truly has forgotten all about me…"
All eyes were on me; everyone was clinging onto my words. Won't be right to leave them hanging.
"…then I'll just have to win her over one more time."
Kariya and Mr H reacted favorably if their growing smiles were any indication, but before they could give me the proverbial pat on the back, Uzuki yanked me back to reality.
"You do realize just how much of an uphill battle you'd be facing, right? Eri forgot all about you so you're back to square one. Her parents are going to be a major roadblock. And there's no guarantee she'll ever come back to Shibuya. If you want to keep pursuing her, then at least know what you're in for."
Valid points, all of them. The lesser man might balk at the odds and surrender. That would be the easy way out. But I was no lesser man.
"I've come this far," I said simply. "Might as well see it through to the end."
Uzuki shrugged. "Okay, that's nice. Like I said, I had no intention of stopping you. You've got the talk, but what about the walk?"
"She's right, you know," pointed out Mr H, though the ghost of a smile remained. "You said you're going to 'fix' this. The question is how."
I have to admit, that was something that's stumped me for a while. How on earth do you cure a person of amnesia? Not like there are pills for that or anything.
Eventually I could only say, "I… I'm working on that…"
Uzuki's trademark bluntness softened a little. "Look, I'm sorry I've been harsh towards you, Neku. But you need to face the facts. Not everything can be solved with the power of love. Sometimes you need to hang back and think about things a little more thoroughly."
"I know. I appreciate the wake-up call."
Eager to diffuse the slowly darkening atmosphere, Kariya tried to lighten things up with a joke. "Come on, guys, why so serious? If it's Eri's memories we're looking for, she probably left them at home or something."
Huh? Wait…
His joke was met with disapproval from Uzuki. "Kariya… you know how touchy this subject is."
"I… I know." He shrank and looked like he felt bad. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to cheer everyone up."
Memories… He said 'memories'… He said Eri left them at home…?
"Don't be so hard on him, missy," chuckled Mr H. "His heart's in the right place."
I stood up all of a sudden, filled with a revelation that energized me anew. Eyes wide, I pointed right at Kariya and practically shouted:
"That's it! Kariya, you're a genius!"
All three of them stared at me, not knowing what to make of what I said. To be fair, it did come out of left field. Naturally, he was the most confused out of the lot of them.
"Uh… I'm a what now?"
But I wasn't deterred. In my excitement I continued, "You just gave me a great idea! Thanks, Kariya!"
"…I did?"
"Calm down, Neku," sighed Uzuki. "If you've got something on your mind, don't leave us in the dark."
I tried to do as she said but the adrenaline pumping through my system was too much to contain. It was a struggle simply to stay coherent. I did my best to maintain some semblance of composure though.
As I talked, I ambled over to the mini-bookcase sitting under the wall-mounted TV. "Kariya, you said that Eri left her memories at home…"
"It was a joke, man."
"Yeah, but you're not wrong, from a certain point of view. Take a look at this." I pried one of the books from the bookcase and handed it to him. The other two huddled around him and peered at it.
Mr H adjusted his dark glasses with a nudge of his finger. "What's this? A photo album?"
"Yes, it was Eri's idea." As they flipped through the pages, I continued, "She's a bit of a camera fiend, so she's taken a gazillion photos of us and stuck them in this. What we have here is essentially a visual timeline of our relationship, and pretty much a complete one at that. Do you see now?"
"Uh-huh…" Kariya was distracted by a double page of summer beach pics. Not hard to see why. "Wow, she's rocking a hot bikini – ow! Uzuki, my arm! What's the big idea?!"
"Neku is trying to tell us something! Concentrate, will you?"
"…Sorry, my bad. What were you saying again, Phones?"
I cleared my throat.
"Don't you see? These are the memories that Eri 'left at home'. Maybe if I show this to her, it might reverse her amnesia."
"Ooh!" Kariya broke into a wide smile. "Hey now, that's not a bad idea at all. It might just do the trick!"
Being the more pragmatic one of the Reapers, Uzuki wasn't so enthusiastic. "I understand your train of logic, Neku, but there's no guarantee it'll work. At best, it's gonna be a long shot."
Her words, grounded in reality, shook my confidence for a brief moment. She was never one to mince her words. But I didn't stay shaken for long.
"You're not wrong, Uzuki," I said. "Whether it works or not, that's up to chance… But if I don't even try, I've already given up on her. And I won't be able to live with myself."
Everyone liked hearing me say that. Even Uzuki was impressed. She didn't smile like the other two did, but her words were more than enough to tell me she was glad for me.
"That's what I like to hear," she said. "Good to know you're not a quitter, Neku."
"I was never one."
Mr H chuckled. "You know, when we came to visit I was afraid you'd be a bit of a wreck without Eri. So it's great to see you're still standing."
Speaking of which, I forgot to sit down, which I promptly did. Was this his subtle way of reminding me I had a chair? Jokes aside…
"So what's the plan?" asked Kariya, getting a little excited. "You gonna go see her?"
"Yeah. I've been mulling it over for a while, but I think I should really make a trip to Fukushima. Gimme a day or two to prepare and I'll be off."
"Don't forget to bring that photo album!"
"I got a few other things I can think of taking along. Gonna need a big bag…"
It's good that my friends were behind me all the way, and the idea I got thanks to Kariya was a genuinely good one. But it's as Uzuki said: this was going to be a long shot, so long I couldn't even begin to measure it.
Still, I've got to at least try.
Wait for me, Eri.