A/N: what's up with the drop in reviews guys? Hope you're still enjoying the story. Please review even if you don't like it. I like to know what you're thinking! Hoping the chapters will get less sad soon!
Chapter 86
Tegan's ribs hurt when she breathed too deep so she walked Sara slowly to the house. It felt like taking a lamb to be slaughtered. She stopped next to the pool as her phone started ringing in her pocket. "O crap... It's mom" she said to Sara. "Fuck... She's gonna be livid... she's gonna kill me... she's gonna freak the fuck out" said Sara seriously. "Relax, she's not gonna know... Just act normal" said Tegan and pressed the green button. "Hi mom!" she said sounding super friendly and energetic. "Morning Tegan... how are you feeling today?" she said. "I'm great thanks mom. How are you? Still cold up there? How's work?" said Tegan. "Tegan is Sara with you?" said Sonia without answering Tegan's questions. "Um... yeah" said Tegan. "Put me on speaker phone" said Sonia. "Why... what's up mom?" said Tegan playing dumb. "I said... Put me on speaker phone Tegan" said Sonia. "Okay... hang on..." said Tegan. She mouthed "she's pissed" to Sara. The twins sat down on a pool recliner. "Hi mom... it's Sara you're on speaker" said Sara. "Hello Sara. Can you two both hear me loud and clear?" asked Sonia. "Sure mom... we hear you" said Sara. "Girls... I have a feeling there's something you want to tell me?" said Sonia. "Mmm... no, just that I had a full check-up yesterday... everything's good mom... and Lindsey and the babies are doing great. I'm doing much better too." said Tegan. "That's good Tegan. Sara?" asked Sonia. "Nooo... not much" she lied. "I'm just phoning to find out... well... find out why the hell there are photos online of the two of you in a fight outside a bar? And then... Tegan lying on the sidewalk with an oxygen mask on her face looking on the verge of death and your face is bleeding Sara! You two know I Google my kids every now and again! The fans are going nuts! What did you two get up to... what's going on... there better be a bloody good explanation for all this or I'm coming over there and pulling you over my lap for a hiding." yelled Sonia. "Mom... Sonia! Calm down! Just breathe mom! Everything's fine" said Tegan. "This is insane! Fighting with a biker outside a bar! I'm appalled and embarrassed. You two will be the end of me. I got the fright of my life" Tegan held the phone further away and pulled a horrified face. Sara couldn't help stifle a laugh. "Sara Quin... are you laughing?... Don't think I can't hear you!... You better not be laughing young lady!" said Sonia obviously livid. "Young lady" mouthed Tegan and laughed with her hand in front of her mouth. "I'm not mom... I wasn't laughing at you... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry" said Sara. "Are you two okay? You sound just fine but tell me honestly... are you okay. You scared me so much" said Sonia. Tegan sighed "I've got some bruised ribs but I'm fine mom... Sara's got two stitches in her lip that's it..." said Tegan. "I don't understand... what happened" asked Sonia seemingly calming down. "Noting mom... it just happened... can we talk about this later" said Tegan. "No we can't... I want an explanation right now Tegan" said Sonia. Tegan looked at Sara with a question on her face, Sara nodded. "Emy and I broke up mom..." said Sara softly. "O my gosh... No... Sara are you okay?" asked Sonia suddenly changing her tone. "Yeah I'm fine... I was upset... I acted like a child and I got drunk... and I got in a fight... and Tegan came to help me... don't blame her for this it's not her fault. She was just trying to help me... I'm sorry mom... I'm really sorry it was childish and irresponsible" said Sara. Sara heard Sonia sniffing on the other side of the line as if she was crying. Sonia didn't speak. "Mom? Are you there?" said Sara. "Yeah... I'm... I'm so sorry my baby... I'm really sorry, that... that must be so hard on you" said Sonia. "It's for the best mom... I'm gonna be okay... I promise" said Sara and smiled a half-hearted smile. Tegan rubbed her back. "Are you sure you're okay now Sara?" said Sonia. "Mom... Sara's fine... I've got her... I've got her" said Tegan. "I... I need to go, I have an important meeting but I'll phone you again later Sara" said Sonia. "I want you two to please... please take care of yourselves and each other...please my babies. Don't scare me like that girls" said Sonia suddenly tame as a kitten. "We will... don't worry mom... We love you" said Tegan. "I love you girls with all my heart. So much it hurts." said Sonia. Sara could hear she was crying and she closed her eyes tight to stop the tears that were building in her own eyes. "Love you too mom... bye" said Sara. Sara sat with her head in her hands. Tegan just sat next to her in silence. A few minutes later Sara spoke. "Okay... I guess I have to do this now..." she said and got up. She offered Tegan a hand. "Are you okay... do you need me to be there?" asked Tegan with concern in her voice.
Sara walked into the living room and found Emy sitting on a couch going through her mail on her iPad. "Hey Em" said Sara softly. "Sara... hi!" said Emy. "Are you... are you feeling better?" asked Emy tentatively. "I'm fine... listen Em...I want to apologize. I feel like a total dick for running out on you yesterday... I'm really so, so sorry" said Sara and blushed as she looked down. "It's... it's okay Sara... you scared me... but I understand" said Emy. Tegan felt awkward standing there but she didn't know if she should stay or go. "Would you like to go for a walk before you go" asked Sara and looked up. "I'd like that" said Emy and got up. Sara turned to Tegan. "I'm okay Tee... but I may need you when she's gone" said Sara honestly.
Sara and Emy walked in silence and sat down on the grass under a large tree overlooking the canyon. Erin had a magnificent, large garden and Sara found solitude in it often these last few weeks. "So Tegan tells me you're all going to Hawaii, that's really exciting" said Emy trying to make conversation. "Yeah... I don't know if I'm going" said Sara and shrugged. "Why not? It'll be great! You deserve a nice holiday Sara" said Emy. "I guess... I'm just in that place where... where I want solitude... you know... sit in my closet and write songs" said Sara. Emy took a few seconds to reply. "You need them around you now Sar... stay in your room the days you don't but don't make this more difficult on yourself than it already is" said Emy. Sara just shook her head.
"I'm gonna miss you Em" said Sara and smiled. "I want you to know... you are so special... you've made me very happy in my life... and very sad... and I wouldn't change a thing. I really hope you find happiness Em... you deserve it." said Sara and squeezed Emy's shoulder. Emy breathed deep to contain her emotions... "So do you Sara. I'm going to give you some time but I want to stay in touch please... I don't want to lose our friendship" said Emy close to tears. "I don't know Emy... I don't know if I can do that... but I'll try... don't keep me to that though" said Sara with a sad expression on her face. She stayed quiet for a minute. "But right now, we have this moment... this moment to just live in the now... not the future, not the past" said Sara. She turned her body to Emy and stared into her familiar eyes. Both their faces moved closer together confirming that the sexual tension between them would probably always be there. Sara closed her eyes breathed in Emy's sweet smell, her lips touched Emy's softly, her fingertips on Emy's smooth cheeks. Sara felt alive and numb at the same time. Emy's hands move up Sara's back and into her hair as she continued to softly kiss Sara's lips. Silent tears ran down both their faces as the broke their contact and were just still in each other's arms. "Hold me Emy... just one last time" said Sara and lay back onto the grass pulling Emy with her. Sara put her head on Emy's chest as they lay in silence in each other's arms, legs entangled for the next hour.
"Sara... I have to go" said Emy. Sara stayed quiet for a few seconds, clinging tightly to Emy. "Don't go" she whispered. "Sara... I'm gonna miss my flight" she said softly. "Then miss it... don't go" said Sara. Emy sat up. "Let's not get right back into the repeat cycle again Sara. Because you know it will lead to the spin cycle" said Emy. Sara nodded dejected. "Goodbye Emy... Thank you... for everything" said Sara. "Goodbye my sweet Sara... I love you" said Emy. She turned and started walking towards the house. "I love you too" whispered Sara as she watched Emy walk out of her life.
Tegan's head shot up as she saw Emy walk in the door. She looked broken. "Tegan... go to Sara please... she needs you" said Emy softly and hugged Tegan tight. "Take care of her and take care of yourself Tegan... I love you buddy" said Emy. "I love you too... travel safe... let me know you're okay when you get there please" said Tegan. Emy nodded and one corner of her mouth lifted bitter-sweetly. "See ya Tee. Stay golden" she said and walked out of the door to where the rest of her friends were waiting to say goodbye. Tegan jogged outside to go search for Sara. "Kate... she's special... take care of her... and don't you hurt her" said Emy hugging Kate. Kate looked at her perplexed but nodded "We'll take good care of her Em. Nothing's gonna hurt her" she said.
Tegan sped up her pace when she saw Sara lying on her side under the tree. She was silently sobbing. Tegan sat down next to her sister's shaking body and put her hand gently on her arm. Sara pulled her knees closer to her chest. "It's okay Sar... you're gonna be okay." she whispered. "I feel as if something died inside me" sobbed Sara. Tegan swallowed back her tears. "I know... I know... I know the hurt is all consuming right now... It will get better... I promise it will get better Sara" said Tegan as she pulled Sara's sobbing body up and held it in her arms. Tegan rubbed her back and felt Sara start to calm down under her hands. "I've got you sis... shhhh" whispered Tegan. Sara slowly fell asleep on Tegan's lap as her body continued to spasm with sobs. After about half an hour Lindsey walked up to Tegan silently. Tegan was deep in thought and Lindsey's hand on her shoulder startled her. "Sorry... I didn't mean to startle you" whispered Lindsey. "Is she okay?" she asked. Tegan nodded but pursed her lips together to keep her tears inside. Lindsey sat down next to her and put her arm around Tegan's shoulder. "I can't stand to see her hurt like this" whispered Tegan and tears rolled over her cheeks. "She'll be okay... You absorb too much of other people's energy and emotions baby" said Lindsey softly as she pushed Tegan's shaggy hair out of her face. "but... that's what makes you the amazing person that you are" smiled Lindsey as Tegan put her head on her shoulder. Lindsey threw a blanket and some pillows out behind the twins and Tegan gently lifted Sara off her lap and lay her back onto the blanket. She spent the warm spring afternoon under the tree next to a sleeping Sara, silently wondering if Sara would ever really get over this one...