Miles prided himself on his mind.

There was nothing particularly magical about it - at least so far as he was aware, breaking mundane physics constituted a lot of what his social circle did on a regular basis. But thinking as fast as he did, being able to hold as much in his thoughts as he could, he made connections and predictions faster than others, figured things out quicker, and avoided pitfalls that others fell into by virtue of an attention to detail that was considerably more unusual among people he knew than actual magic.

In a world where speed mattered, being able to reach answers and act on them before anyone else was an insurmountable advantage, and that let Miles remain in control. And there were few things that mattered more to Miles than staying in control and safe.

Eggman was neither, and Miles had no illusions about the fate of the world if he ever followed suit.

But his intelligence, mundane and unmagical as it was, was not perfect. He wasn't always right, he sometimes wandered off onto mental dead ends by going in wrong directions that lesser minds had never even thought of, and he missed crucial details at times because of the sheer number of other details he was considering at any one point.

But most often he was surprised by people.

This had improved a little, the more time he spent around people, but he was what others would call "poorly socialised". Abandoned by his parents, he had been a four year old cub - by current estimates - the first time he'd ever met another mobian.

They'd tried to kill him.

He'd not really expected that at the time. But it had been the first data point for a model that had served him well, and in turn provided him with a great deal of data about military technology, aviation, and reverse engineering, right up until there were no mobians left to try and kill him, and the rest of the world was left wondering where the Kukku Empire had gone.

The second time he'd met mobians had been when he'd left home, trying to find people like himself and learning that there were no people like himself. Two tailed foxes, and foxes in general, were a population of "one".

It might have been better if he'd found himself among wolves, who might have looked past his differences to the similarities they shared. But the mobians in the clans he met, while not actively trying to kill him, had made absolutely sure he was aware that he was not welcome, wanted, nor tolerated in their territory. Especially when he spent his time working with machines that had by then become synonymous with the rise of the Eggman.

But he'd quietly persevered, despite their hostility, and his model of the world had improved once again, this time covering people who only wanted to hurt him. Miles didn't mind that too much. He'd suffered far worse than a few children with sticks after all, but fortunately for the world, before he'd had time to decide on an appropriate response to their aggression, he'd met Sonic.

Sonic had surprised him again. He hadn't wanted to hurt the nearly mute young fox poking around his plane, at once similar and different to the weapons of war he'd tinkered with in the past. And when Miles had accompanied him against the mechanical forces of Eggman's invasion, he hadn't wanted to hurt Eggman either.

Miles hadn't understood it. Honestly, he still didn't, but he had willingly conformed to Sonic's curious philosophy all the same, taking on faith both that humans and mobians were things that should not be killed regardless of how much of a threat they were, and that he should try and save as many lives as possible - a dichotomy which had left him perpetually conflicted as to why Eggman was still allowed to live, given the massive cost of mobian life linked to his endless schemes.

There had been a few hiccups here and there, where Miles had been alone and quietly concluded that a more permanent solution had been optimal for minimising suffering, but for the most part he had found Sonic's martial pacifism to be useful, a good way to keep himself from making the mistake of causing suffering for a perceived greater good. And once he'd wrapped his head around it, Sonic had turned out to be the most predictable person of all, a dependable anchor for his new schema…

And his first and most cherished friend, whose naïve worldview, however impractical, was something special that Miles would give up anything to protect.

Until Sonic had decided he didn't need him anymore, marking the second and significantly more traumatising time in four years of friendship that Miles had been legitimately surprised by his hero's behaviour.

Salt water sprayed over his head from a well placed kick. Miles squinted at the perpetrator before slicing through a wave with his tails, displacing considerably more than his own bodyweight of liquid in response.

Amy Rose had been surprising him with alarming regularity for almost the entire time he'd known her.

She'd been smaller than him when they first met, a small and weak baseline girl with a crush on his hero. He'd let her stay at his lab a few times during that first winter, since she'd had nowhere else to go. He'd even given her his old hammer to defend herself, since Sonic's worldview didn't mesh well with crushing threats to death with blunt objects.

"No fair using your tails!" Amy shook water from her spines, sticking her tongue out at him, swimsuit now drenched with water from its little white skirt to its pleated red shoulders.

When he thought she was going to cry, she laughed. When he thought she was going to laugh, she got angry. And when he thought she was going to get angry, she smiled through her tears. It was almost like she was confusing solely to spite him.

A rotund lifeguard - a necessary feature among mobians who wanted to swim in the water; only the chunkiest or strongest could overcome the natural tendencies of a species whose average member was about as dense as rock - turned to stare at the two of them playing in the surf, but his expression changed the moment he recognised Miles. He nodded respectfully before turning his attention to other not-quite-swimmers.

Miles could swim, after all. His tails were every bit as good at propelling him through water as air, and the lifeguard knew that. He was a celebrity. Long gone were the days that people would throw rocks at him to drive him away from their villages.

All he'd had to do was save the world. Multiple times. To get second-hand famous.

"Wow! Come get a look at this!" Amy darted down into the water a moment, holding aloft a large blue conch. Her lips formed a perfect "o" as the sun reflecting off the water illuminated her face in countless dancing lights.

He'd expected her to leave. Like Tiara, Madonna, whatever that other one's name was, brief sparks of interest that died out in the face of Sonic's preference for liberty over love. He'd assumed she would eventually stop trying to balance real life with whatever mad alternative Sonic offered to people caught up in his influence.

Yet here she was.

"Wow." Miles glanced up. "That's a pretty-"

Amy upended the conch over his head. She was still laughing by the time the water flowed out of his ears.

Annoying the Penders out of him.

"Gotcha! Ah! Noo!" Amy shrieked as forty four pounds of highly compact predator pounced at her, sending them both into the water.

Miles landed on top of her, hands by her neck, teeth bared. His tails lanced down to wrap around her arms and chest.

And she grinned at him from the sand.

Miles blinked under the water, reaching up a finger to poke her gently on the nose.

He was safe, after all. He was in control.

He stood, lifting her with him out of the surf. Amy grinned down at him as she dangled from his grip, making a show of kicking helplessly as she laughed.

"Alright! I give!" She shook her head, straining to blow seawater off her nose while wriggling. "Didn't realise you were half octopus, you brute!"

Miles grabbed her by the waist, depositing her carefully onto the shallows as he released her from tails that he knew from experience could have crushed her in a heartbeat.

Amy sighed, the aftermath of laughter as she stretched out, dripping wet as she pulled him from the water by his wrist.

"Well I'm not sure we can count that as part of your original date plan, but we'll call it extra credit." She paused, looking at him. "You okay, Tails?"

"Huh?" Miles looked up, smiling once more. "Sorry, just… thinking."

"This is what happens when you don't get your sleep." Amy tutted. "Don't worry, I have the perfect solution."

"Oh really?"

"Yep! Next thing!" She grinned, holding the sheet of paper in damp fingers. "See? This wasn't so bad. Do not say this if an orca attacks." She paused. "What is with him and killer whales anyway?"
"They never forget." Miles shook his head gravely.

Amy raised an eyebrow but raised the page once more without further comment. "Hey, what's that over there? Point."

She looked around blankly. Miles took her hand and pointed it in the right direction, rolling his eyes.

"I knew that. Where was- ah. It looks like there's some kind of event on. Would you like to go and see?"

"You know this wasn't supposed to be word for word." Miles frowned at her. Especially the directions.

"It's more fun this way. You wouldn't understand." Amy waved a hand airily. "Ah, look, it's an aquarium! It says that couples can get in free. Let's go!" She blinked at the page. "An aquarium?"

"Well, you liked looking at the fish last week." Miles fidgeted. She was onto him.

"You thought Sonic would want to come around an aquarium with me?"

"He... would if it was free entry?" Miles shrugged.

A side effect of his own early life, Sonic tended to be on the frugal side, even now. The word "free" held an inescapable lure for him on several levels.

"True enough, I guess." Amy nodded thoughtfully. "Well, let's go!"

Miles swallowed drily as he was dragged along behind her.

Yes, this was supposed to be his perfect crime. A cunning betrayal at a level of villainy Amy could never begin to suspect. He'd even expended a small fortune and several days setting everything up behind the scenes. A grand opening, a couples weekend for a local aquarium all arranged with flawless precision.

But now he was stuck desperately trying to hide all evidence, because Sonic had surprised him once again.

Because this had not been set up to be a perfect date.

A light suspension bridge effect from being near the water together, followed by a highly public shared activity that Sonic would find mildly boring, with, most importantly, no quiet moments alone together where any "funny stuff" might happen. Like kissing, which Miles was fairly certain was a thing.

He'd carefully planned around his friend's tolerances and preferences to engineer the perfect failure, neither progressing nor damaging their relationship, a far cry short of the grand romantic dates she would have enjoyed in the past and had requested he engineer.

Now he was just waiting for her to notice.