Part III
"Sorry about this," Jay grimaced as he shifted in his seat, mindful of the bag of food on his lap. The grease had soaked through the bag and he was just glad that he had thought to laid down a napkin down first.
"Seriously, don't worry about it." Erin sounded genuine in her reassurance but Jay still felt bad. It must've shown on his face because Erin just rolled her eyes playfully before reaching over to grab the bag of food from him. "What did you get?"
"Hot dog," Jay said as he pulled out the sandwich. "And if that isn't enough of a Chicagoan cliche for you, then I also got the famous beef sandwich."
"What's that?"
Jay parted his mouth, almost offended. "You've never heard of Chicago Italian beef sandwich?" Erin shook her head, looking at him strangely. "Then you are in for a surprise." He held up the wrapped sandwich, almost the size of her arm length. "Think of the most tender roast beef sliced into thin slices and covered with au jus. Now put all of that deliciousness of a freaking perfection of an Italian roll. Then you'll have this treasure."
Erin couldn't help but smile at the way he looked so excited, just talking about a sandwich of all things. "You sure have a way with words when it comes to food, don't you Halstead? A girl could almost be jealous that you're not talking about her in that way."
He licked his lips, almost as if he was embarrassed but he saw her fond smile and he was smiling along with her. "Just wait until you get a bite then I promise you, you'll be singing its praises too." He unwrapped the sandwich, revealing a stack of roast beef and pepper stuffed between a roll, and handed it to her. "This is from a shop near my place and it's the best hidden secret in Chicago. None of that overhyped tourist traps you'll find on a lot of travel websites."
"And how lucky am I that you're sharing it with me," Erin teased as she took the offered sandwich from him. He was looking at her, eyes filled with anticipation, and was waiting for her reaction. She felt almost put on the spot but she knew he wouldn't steer her wrong so she gave him a final look before finally biting onto the food. Immediately, the delicious au jus hit her tongue and she was attacked by an onslaught of flavor— filled with depth and complexity. She closed her eyes as she chewed, moaning at how good it tasted. "S'good!" she could barely get her word out as she immediately headed for another bite. Jay smiled, enjoying watching her enjoy the sandwich.
"See? What did I tell you?"
She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "You were right," she relented, giving him this victory. She held out the sandwich in front of him, rewarding him with a bite. One bite only. He happily took it, taking a huge bite from her hand. He closed his eyes and groaned happily, mimicking her reaction earlier. He moved to take another bite but she was quick enough to pull it back.
"Don't get greedy, Jay. This is mine!"
"Technically, I did buy it so it's mine. I think if we were in court, the judge would rule in my favor."
"Haven't you ever heard of possession being 9/10th of the law? It's in my hand therefore it's in my possession. I win." She made her point by taking another huge bite, giving him a pointed look while chewing.
"Alright, I'll let you win. I'll just make do with this hot dog," he said, almost puting, as he ate his hot dog. It almost paled in comparison to the sandwich in her hand but he'd let her eat the better food. After all, this was their first date and he felt like he already fell short.
After promising her that he'd show her his version of Chicago, he got started on planning the date right away, his excitement bubbling over. But then reality set in. The logistics of going on a date with a famous celebrity without anyone finding out about it was harder than he had thought. His idea of taking her to a Cubs game and watching it from his favorite bleachers section was out of the picture, so was spending the day in his favorite places around town. They were too crowded and people could easily recognize Erin and that couldn't happen, especially since they were trying to keep their budding relationship on the downlow.
"Sorry," he said, Erin giving him a confused look at his apology.
"For what?"
"That this was the best I could do." After exhausting one idea after another, he had finally setlled on bringing her to the Promontory Point. It was dark enough at night and he knew of this little corner that was tucked in that allowed them the privacy they needed while still giving them the view of the Chicago Skyline that he hoped she'd love. So there they were, two people sitting on the rocks near the water with fast food in his lap. It wasn't the fancy restaurant he had wanted to take her to, knowing that Erin was more used to places that were nicer.
"Are you kidding me?" Erin said, shaking her head like he was crazy. "Look at where we are!" She waved her hand in the air. "Look at great this place is and this food," she held up the almost finished food in her hand, "it's so freaking good. What more can a girl ask for?"
He was almost embarrassed that he couldn't take her to a nicer place. "I know you're used to nicer places with better food than this," he shrugged but Erin wouldn't let him wallow in his self-deprecation.
"Hey, look at me," she said, cupping his jaw to set his eyes on her. "This is honestly the best date I've been on. Ever. I love the food. This is more of my type of food. And I love being by the water and looking at the gorgeous skyline." He turned his eyes to get a look of the skyline that was in the distance, lights showing off just how beautiful Chicago can be. "But…" she pulled his head away so he was looking at her again. "That view is nothing compared to this view in front of me," she said, looking at him.
He smiled at her words, feeling his neck getting warmed up. "Now look who has a way with words," he said with a smile. He sighed, brushing her hair back. "I really did want to take you to a nicer place than this. Or at least more fun places. I had it all planned out in my head but…."
"I get it," she replied. "I don't really care about where we go or what we do. When I said yes to you asking me out, it was because I just wanted to spend time with you. To get to know you better. That was all I wanted."
He smiled, wondering how he had gotten so lucky to meet someone like her. She was everything he had been looking for, even if he didn't know it himself. "Me too." He couldn't resist leaning in to give her a kiss on her lips, feeling her smile into it.
"Now that's my definition of a date," she said when they broke apart, leaning their foreheads against one another. He leaned in to kiss her again, unable to stop himself. He just couldn't get enough. But it wasn't as though she was complaining. Her hands came up to run her fingers on his jaw, feeling the stubbles that always remained on his face, no matter how closely he shaved. She liked the feeling of it and she moaned when his fingers buried themselves in her hair, pulling her closer to him. She couldn't understand how he'd ever thought that she wanted anything more than this. More than him and her, here together, where no one could see them. Where the moon and the stars in the sky were their only audience.
Erin couldn't stop smiling when she got to the set the next morning, even though she had a 5 a.m call time. She didn't know that dates could be like the one she had with Jay last night. It was simple, easy and just awesome. Not that she had a lot of experience in the dating department but all of the dates that she had been on, the guy always seemed more focus on impressing her and showing off his wealth and his status. The guys she dated always took her to stuffy restaurants where an entree cost more than the trailer she grew up in and their dates were always interrupted by phone calls, overeager fans and 'friends' of her dates that would always show up so Erin would know just how connected those guys were.
But it was different with Jay. He was different and she liked it.
Despite his initial disappointment that he couldn't taken her out to a more fancy date, she was more than happy with how things turned out. She could sit by the water and eat beef sandwiches while they talk forever, if she could. She had gotten to know who Jay was in one night than she ever knew about all of her old dates combined. She finally knew what it was like to have a genuine connection with someone, to like them for who they were and what made them, rather than their name and status.
"What's with the smile?" Annie asked as Erin sat down in the chair to get her make-up done.
Erin tried to stop smiling, lest Annie find out who was behind the reason for her smile. Annie was her best friend but Annie also worked for her—which meant she also worked for Bunny— and as much as Erin wanted to, she knew she couldn't talk to Annie about this. There was just too big of a chance that Annie would relay the information back to her mother and her growing feelings for Jay was something she wanted to keep to herself.
"Nothing. Just thinking of a funny show I saw last night," Erin lied, trying to school her face into a more neutral expression. Annie looked like she didn't quite believe her but before she could grill Erin some more, Bunny made her appearance in the trailer.
"Just get me the cover and I'll give you the exclusive! You know how it works, love," Bunny spoke into the phone, rolling her eyes at Erin and Annie to show that she was annoyed. "Yeah, it's the cover or you can forget about getting the insider info about Linseride. Call me when you have the cover for me. Bye Rodrigo."
"What was that about?" Erin asked, wondering how her mother could look so annoyed when it was only 5 in the morning.
"That was my contact at Us Weekly. Rodrigo called for a quote about your little hospital stint." Bunny rolled her eyes again, making her feelings about Erin's episode known. "And get this, it was just for a small blurb. I told him that you needed a cover or they'll get nothing."
Erin groaned, not wanting her picture and her allergy attack to be blasted all over the cover of magazines. It was already embarrassing enough that people on twitter and other social media were talking so much about how she landed in the hospital. Some believed the truth— that it was an allergy attack that got her there— and then there were the more malicious people— ones that thought there had to be more. And that she was hiding something and they were ready to tear her apart for it. She only prayed that no one would find out about her time in rehab. She definitely didn't need that coming out.
"Why do I need a cover for this? It's a non-story. I drank something with peanuts accidentally and had an allergic reaction. Hardly a newsworthy story."
Bunny glared at Erin. "Of course, it's an interesting story. Ugh, why do I even bother? You know that Severide had to come all the way to the hospital for a photo op right? You think he did that because he just cares so much about you? I had to convince his publicist that we'd get a cover story for his effort."
Erin tuned her mother out by this point. It was just easier that way. Besides, she was in a good mood— still riding high from her date with Jay— and she didn't want anything to ruin it. Erin turned back to the mirror, meeting Annie's eyes in it. Her friend gave her a smile, letting her know that she was there for her.
"Can you do cat eye makeup?" Erin asked, looking at her reflection. "I really like how it looks and I wonder how I would look with it."
"Sure," Annie said, opening up the liquid eyeliner. "We have to be subtle with it though. After all, you're supposed to be a detective."
"Who said female detectives can't look good?" Erin shot back, thinking of Kim and how pretty she was. "I happen to know some beautiful women detectives."
"From where?" Erin opened her mouth, about to reply, but quickly shut up. She didn't want Annie to know that she had visited Jay at the police station before. The less the people around her knew about her and Jay, the better.
"I'm thinking nude lips too," Erin said, changing the topic. Thankfully, Annie was quick to forget and she got focused on applying make-up on Erin.
An hour later, Erin was ready to shoot her scene so she headed out to the set, the directors and the rest of the crew already setting up. She greeted the crew warmly.
"Morning Erin," the director smiled when he saw her approach. "So did you get the changes I made to the script yesterday?"
"Yeah, I got it." She had to wake up a couple of hours earlier to memorize the changes but it was all part of her job. "I like it. I think it shows the depth of my character more. It really let us get into her mind and understand her motivation."
The director beamed proudly at her compliment. "You get it," he said. "You have no idea how good it is to talk to someone who actually understands the character that they're playing. Not just understand but actually want to understand. You have no idea how difficult it is to work with Landon. I swear to god, if he wasn't the newest hot actor, we'd already gone with someone else."
The director rambled on, ranting about Landon and the difficulties of working with him, ones that Erin knew entirely too much about. But as soon as Jay arrived at the set, in his usual leather jacket and the cup of coffee in his hands, Erin's attention was completely captured by him. He met her eyes and instantly, his eyes lit up and his face split into a smile, his eyes creasing at the corners just the way she was coming to love. She smiled back at him, her dimples letting him know just how happy she was to see him. The two lovers stood there, exchanging dopey smiles with one another.
"You get it right?" The question took Erin out of her little trance and she immediately shook her head, returning her attention back to the director.
"Yeah, totally." Erin could only hope that he didn't see anything else in her eyes. She cleared her throat. "So ready?'
"Yeah. Get in position," the director said and Erin exhaled, shaking off all thoughts of Jay for right now and focused on getting her scenes done.
He felt like a teenager all over again, sneaking around his parents' back as he snuck into Erin's trailer. It was mid-afternoon and he had the day off from Intelligence and he was set on spending it with Erin. So when he got the message from her, telling him to meet her at her trailer but to be discreet, he immediately headed over, his conversation with Mouse cut short.
He knocked twice and heard her raspy voice from the other side telling him that the door was open. And as soon as he opened the door and stepped inside, he was overwhelmed by her, just the way he liked it. She was in his arms immediately as she jumped onto him, hooking her legs around his waist while he held her up by her backside. Their lips immediately connected, like two long lost lovers that were just reunited, and he lifted her while walking backward until they reached the little bar in the trailer's kitchen. He placed her on it gently, completely in contrast to the hurried way they were kissing one another, and he pulled his head away, panting. They looked at each other, hunger and lust in their eyes, before Jay's lips found home on her neck, sucking at the skin and enjoying the sweet taste he found there. She moaned, clawing at his back, as she tugged him closer. She parted her legs more and scooted closer to the edge of the bar before wrapping her legs around him, their most sensitive parts meeting and grinding against each other. He was out of breath, his mind and body going wild with the way she was making him feel, and he wanted to do nothing more than just rip off her clothes and lay her down on the bar. But as hard as it was, he stopped himself and he pulled away. It felt like pulling off two magnets, ones that were determined to be stuck on one another, but eventually he managed, keeping her at arm's length while he tried to catch his breath.
"Jay?" She sounded just as breathless as him, only her voice was tinged by questioning and a hint of insecurity. Like she thought he didn't want her. Impossible.
"I….give me a second," he said, laying his head on her shoulder. "I just…" he finally got his head up and met her eyes. "I want you. You have no idea how much I want you right now but I don't want our first time to be some quickie in your trailer."
Her face softened at his explanation and she parted her mouth to say something but he placed his finger on her lips, quieting her for a second.
"I like you, Erin. A lot. And you deserve the world and everything good in it. You especially deserve for me to show how much I like you and treasure you, the right way."
"Why are you so sweet?" she asked, cupping his face. He grinned, leaning down to kiss her hand.
"You just bring it out of me, I guess," he replied, honestly. Because it was the truth. He had never really thought to try so hard for another woman before. He had never really placed much importance in relationships. He was a workaholic to the core, being a detective was his identity and his life revolved around work. Women were distractions to him or a way to let out his frustrations. He had never thought to take it further than one night stands with anyone before. But that was before he met her. Before Erin Lindsay entered his life and upturned it 180 degrees. Because he wanted to try harder with her, for her. He wanted to make sure that she knew that she'd never be just a one night stand for him, a way to pass the time or to get his sexual frustration out.
She gave him a soft peck on his cheeks and he felt her smile into his skin. "Alright, detective Halstead. Then tell me, where and when would our first time be exactly? Because you can't keep a girl waiting for long."
"Tomorrow night? I'm planning something really special for you. A surprise."
Intrigue made its way to her eyes. "Hmm, that sounds very mysterious and exciting." The smile on her face fell off though as she thought her schedule over. "But I'm shooting until very late tomorrow night. I probably won't be done until like 11 at night."
He leaned in closer and pecked her nose. "Then it's a good thing that my surprise is set for midnight then." The smile returned to her face, matching his. "So I'll pick you up? At your hotel?"
"I can't wait," she whispered, her hands running over his chest, traveling further down until she reached the edge of his shirt and she slipped her hands underneath it, feeling his hot skin. "Now, you want to wait for our first time, which I think is very sweet by the way," she whispered into his neck, sounding seductive as hell that had him gripping the counter. "But there's nothing that says we can't make out in the meantime. Is there?"
He inched his face closer until their breaths were mixing in the small space, lust buzzing between them. "You're a genius, Erin Lindsay," were the only words he'd get out before he crashed his lips on hers, feeling Erin respond right away.
They were lost in each other, consumed in the moment. She loved the way his hard abs felt under her touch, her fingers getting lost in the ridges. And when he sucked on her neck, she had to grab onto his arms for dear life. They were in the phase— the beginning of a relationship where they couldn't keep their hands off of each other— and if the way he kissed was a preview of what was to come, then she knew that when they finally made love, there'd be nothing but fireworks. She only hoped she'd survived the aftermath.
"You know this is technically kidnapping right?" she joked as she held onto his hands, wondering where he was taking her. Currently, her sense of sight was out of order and it heightened all of her four remaining senses. His chuckle at her attempt at a joke sounded deeper, his cologne smell even better tonight and she heard indistinct sounds of waves crashing in the background— almost unperceivable if it weren't for the complete silence around them.
"If I recall correctly, you did agree to a date with me so it's not technically kidnapping," Jay tossed back as he continued to lead her down to this unknown place. "You trust me right?'
"Of course," she replied back, without a second to spare.
"Then trust me on this." She only returned a soft hum and she felt him placed his arm around her as they continued onto their destination. After about five minutes, it seemed as though they'd finally reached where he wanted to take her and he stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders. "Okay, ready?" he asked, whispering into her ear. She felt goosebumps form on her arms and she nodded. Her heart was thudding with excitement as she felt his hand slowly undo the blindfold until it was off completely. "Surprise!"
Erin's mouth opened in awe at the sight in front of her. She was almost blinded by all the lights on the ferris wheel— one of the famous site on Navy Pier.
"What?" She was lost as she glanced around at the empty place— a place that would normally be filled with people. But it was completely deserted now, just the two of them standing in front of the big wheel, the lights shining on their faces. "Wha…Where are all the people?"
"The pier is closed," Jay replied from behind her. "It's just the two of us."
She turned her head around to look at him. "How did you do this?"
"I knew a guy," was his vague reply and Erin gave him a pointed look. "Okay," he sighed, getting ready to tell her his secret and the lengths that he went through to make sure he could surprise her with a midnight ferris wheel ride for just the two of them. "I do know a guy that knew this other guy who made this happen. It wasn't easy and took some convincing and I basically cashed in all the favors that are owed to me but it doesn't matter." He held her arms. "Because all that matters is that you're here and I'm here and it's just the two of us. No one around. We have all the privacy we need. Well, except for my friend that's operating the wheel there but he's good with keeping his mouth shut." She laughed, glancing over at the eguy a few feet away, pretending as though he wasn't there. "So what do you say?"
"I say I'm afraid of heights," she started, wrapping her arms around his neck and closed the distance between their faces. "So you better hold me tight while we're up there."
He smiled and kissed her. "It sounds like a hard job but someone has to do it." She rolled her eyes fondly as he led her to the waiting car on the ferris wheel, opened the door and helped her into it before following. His friend started the wheel and slowly, the wheel began its rotation, lifting them up in the air.
She felt the breeze on her face immediately and he took the chance to scoot even closer to her, bringing his arms around her. She settled into his arms and rested her head in the crook of his neck. The ferris wheel continued its rotation until the car they were in was all the way at the top and it paused, giving them ample time to enjoy the breathtaking views of Chicago.
"Wow!" Erin gasped as she took in the panoramic view, seeing the lights in the buildings and cars driving by. "It's so beautiful."
Jay's focus, on the other hand, was entirely on her and he was more entranced by watching her reaction to the views instead of the views itself. She looked just utterly breathtaking, her hair blowing in the wind, her cheeks pink from the cold and the breeze and the lights on the wheel were nothing compared to her eyes. He felt his breath being completely taken away when her eyes pulled away from the view to land on him, her face breaking out into a smile that showed how deep her dimples went.
"Thank you," she breathed, kissing the underside of his jaw. "I love this."
He didn't say anything. Instead, he just kissed the side of her head, closing his eyes at how good it felt to be there in that moment with her. He could sit there forever, just the two of them, away from everyone, all the prying eyes, the disapproving glares from Bunny and Erin's friends. Up here, only the two of them exist, just like how it was always meant to be. He placed his finger under her jaw and lifted it up. She smiled when she met his eyes before traveling down to his lips, anticipating the moment that was about to come. Even though she knew what was about to happen, she still gasped when he closed the gap and kissed her, his lips feeling like they were made for her. The soft and almost languid meeting of the lips turned more and more intense, the urge to take things all the way growing between them. She could only moan and tug at him when his tongue began seeking for permission it didn't need, Erin's lips opening immediately to let him in. He swirled his tongue against her, his hand coming to grip her thigh, and she could only hold onto his arms to brace herself. All she could think in the moment was that if she could spend the rest of her life kissing this man, then it was a life worth living.
They broke apart suddenly when the ferris wheel jolted, signaling that it was time to head back down. They were laughing softly, their heads still close together, before he landed a few quick pecks on her lips, an unspoken promise of what else was to come later. Finally a few minutes later, they reached back down to earth and he helped her out of the car, Jay sending a quick thank you wave to his friend for his help tonight. Erin only sent a small wave, not really sure if the friend would actually keep quiet about her presence at the pier with Jay tonight.
"Don't worry. He was trained not to crack under intense interrogation so he knows how to keep a secret. Like me," Jay reassured her, sensing her worry on her face. She wondered how he'd managed to read her so well but she was more interested in the little tidbit that Jay had revealed.
"You were trained in that too?"
Jay bit his lips, like he said something he didn't mean to. "Yeah," he replied, sounding hesitant. "I told you that I was in the Army right?" Erin nodded. "It's part of the Ranger training. Just in case we were ever captured and our captors would torture us for confidential intel."
"Wow," Erin replied, not really knowing what to say. She was intrigued by everything about him, especially Jay's past. She wanted to know what made him him and the experiences that shaped him. "Tell me more," she asked. "About your Army days."
He was quiet for a second and Erin wasn't sure if he'd ever answer. He kissed her head as they headed back to his car. "Um," he finally spoke. "It was intense and rough as expected. I did two tours in Afghanistan and everyday, we were met with firefight." Erin remained quiet, devouring everything he was telling her. She wanted to know everything about him, a man she was falling for as every seconds ticked by. "But the firefights and the almost dying weren't the hardest part. The hardest part was coming home and realizing that while I made it, not everyone did." He seemed to be lost in thought, his voice drifting far away like it was lost in some memory. "The look on some of the family's faces, ones that their husbands and fathers and brothers would never be coming home. It was…..unbearable."
Erin could only pat his chest in comfort, not really what to say. Jay always seemed so strong and stoic but she realized that he was carrying something heavy around with him. She could only hope that he would trust her enough to let her help carry some of it.
"I was in a rough place when I got back. My mom was sick and my dad and I didn't get along. I was lost for a minute until I finally got my act together. Signed up for the Academy and threw myself into my job. I think that's why I take my job so seriously. It saved me and it gave me a place to hide." He stopped walking and pulled Erin into his arms, burying his head into her neck. Her arms immediately wound around his waist, pulling him closer to her. "It wasn't until I met and got to know you that I realized I was missing something."
"What were you missing?" she asked.
He pulled his head away so he could look at her, his hand coming up to hold her face delicately. "Happiness. Life," he replied. "It sounds cliche and everything but I didn't realize that I wasn't living until I met you. That just getting by each day wasn't enough anymore. I've gotten too used to smiling like an idiot whenever you would come to my mind, even during my Sergeant reaming my ass out over a case. I've gotten used to kissing you yet it being not enough. Never enough. I've gotten used to seeing your face, these dimples, those eyes, and I can't think of a day where I'd be okay not having you in my life."
If she wasn't already completely crazy about him, his heartfelt speech would surely drive her over the edge. She was speechless, unable to form words that would be enough to be worthy to return the sentiments of his honesty. So she leaned up and kissed him, hard and bruising, to show that everything he said, she felt the same. Completely.
He opened the door to his apartment and turned on the lights, encasing the small space in a warm orange glow. As soon as she stepped inside, she felt like she was home— everything that was him overwhelming her senses. She smiled softly at the way everything was neatly organized— she did notice that he tended to be quite OCD— and how the whole apartment smelled like him— clean, strong and with just enough hint of musk so it wasn't overpowering. It intoxicated her and comforted her at the same time.
He offered her a beer but she shook her head. Instead, she closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his chest. He looked at her, his eyes clouded with lust and the 'l' word that was too soon to say yet they were unable to stop themselves from feeling. She got on her tip-toe to kiss the corner of his mouth, Jay closing his eyes at the action. She felt how fast his heart was racing underneath her palms and she brought one of his hands to place it on her chest— wanting him to know that her heart was doing the same. His hand drifted up slowly from the slope of her breast to her neck, going around it until it settled nicely at the nape of her neck. Their eyes were locked on each other, the electricity of what was about to happen charging between them. Slowly— almost torturously— he leaned in closer until his lips were ghosting over hers, not yet touching. Her hands couldn't stop moving, running over his chest then his arms before coming up to his ears, holding his face. He had just a hint of a smile before he closed the final distance and kissed her like she was waiting to be kissed the whole night.
She felt herself being led backwards slowly to his bedroom and Erin wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She felt the back of her leg hit the bed and his fingers playing with the hems of her shirt before he slowly pulled it up, leaving her in her black lace bra. She did the same to his, the no longer needed garments joining each other on his bedroom floor.
She felt herself being lowered to the bed, Jay coming to join her, hovering over her. They were locked in the passionate kiss, unable to pry their lips off of each other, while their hands explored each other bodies like they were their own wonderland. She felt him growing hard when he pressed up against her thigh and she moaned at the sensation. Her hands worked to pull his belt and somehow she was able to undo the buttons of his jeans without their lips disconnecting. She slipped her hand inside of his boxers and she felt him flinch at the sudden sensation, him already sensitive, ready to come undone.
He focused on getting rid of her pants and underwear, leaving Erin completely bare under his touch. He looked at her, from head to toe, and the nervousness of being vulnerable as she laid naked under him went away when she saw the look in his eyes— like she was the most beautiful thing he'd seen. He made his feelings known, not by words, but with torturous butterfly kisses that trailed from her head all the way down to her toes. And when he focused his attention on her inner thighs, leaving the most sinful of kisses on the soft skin, she was nearly gone.
"Jay," she gasped his name when she felt his warm breath at her most sensitive spot, a spot that was now aching for him. He didn't say anything, instead he let his mouth continue to do the talking. She tensed when he slipped his tongue inside her folds, the feeling too pleasurable for her to handle. "Jay!" she moaned, louder this time.
Her breathless gasps and moaning of his name only urged him on as he parted the lips, allowing him to get deeper inside. It was almost too much Erin and she could only bury her fingers into his hands as she tried to hold on for the ride. And when he joined his fingers to the party, she was gone as she screamed out his name as she came. She was in a haze of pleasure when he came up from between her legs, a smug smile on his face. One that she couldn't even be mad at, not after what he did for her. He kissed her deeply and she was lost in him, all over again. He got rid of his pants and boxers with a stealth she didn't know he was capable of and he laid on his knees on the bed, giving her the perfect view to check him out. He was beautiful, like a statue that was carved from marbles and she could only stare at him in awe.
He leaned back down and kissed her again, his hands cupping her breasts. She felt him against her thighs and she parted her legs wider until he was lined up against her. He looked into her eyes, like he was seeing one last permission. One that he didn't need. She kissed him, giving him the answer, and he guided his cock to her entrance, slowly entering her. She gasped at the feeling of him filling her up. It had been too long since she had last been with a guy and even then, she had never felt like this before. This was totally new to her— being connected with someone on every level. Emotionally, mentally and physically. It was almost too much to take but she knew she didn't want to stop.
Their tongues swirled against one another as he allowed her time to adjust to his size. And when she couldn't take the wait anymore, she moved her hips, letting him know to move. He was careful with her like always and he began slowly, going in and out of her at a steady pace. Hearing him grunt in her ears only spurred her on and her hips met him, thrust for thrust.
She gasped when he pulled her hips harder, fastening the pace that was almost too much yet not nearly enough. "Jay!" she couldn't stop herself from calling his name out when he hit the right spot. "There," she moaned, breathlessly as he hit the spot over and over again. She felt the fire in her stomach pooling, getting tighter and tighter, as he snapped his hips in and out of her again and again. Then she was shattering all around him, as the wave of indescribable pleasure took over her, leaving her to lose all of her senses. It was like falling from the edge, unable to stop herself or control her body. She barely registered Jay chasing his own release, continuing the motion of his hips until he too reached his own peak, groaning out loud as he buried his face in her neck. She was trembling, even under the weight of Jay, and she was completely breathless.
He remained in her embrace, her arms wrapped around him, until he was strong enough to pull himself up slightly, hovering over her. He gazed down at her, his eyes still not completely clear from the orgasms that they both had, and he smiled. She couldn't speak, she could only gaze up at him, her own eyes mirroring the look she found in his. Like they knew it could never feel like this with any other person. Sex was now ruined for both of them, if it meant it was with somebody else. Only he could get her to feel this way.
"You're trembling," he whispered, peppering kisses on her face. She closed her eyes, still catching her breath. "Did….did I hurt you?" he sounded so scared, so vulnerable, as he asked her the question. She shook her head immediately.
"No, never," she whispered back. "This is….the good kind of trembling," she added. He smiled, laying a soft kiss on her forehead before brushing back the hair on it.
"I know what you mean," he confessed, pecking her nose. He couldn't keep his hands or lips off of her, it seemed. But he didn't want to hurt her and didn't want to crush her underneath his weight so he made to pull away but she stopped him, wrapping both her arms and legs around him.
"No, don't move," she said.
"I don't want to hurt you. I'm too heavy." She shook her head, not letting him go.
"No, I want to feel you. I want you close like this." She brought her hand up, her elbow resting on the bed, and he laced their fingers together, clutching her hand with all the feelings he had for her.
He smiled even wider at her words, kissing her again. Who was he to refuse?
After what felt like hours and countless rounds, they somehow managed to pull themselves away from the bed. They didn't make it far, only as far as his couch as they settled in, cuddling against one another, clothes deemed unnecessary.
He pulled the blanket over her feet, making sure she was completely covered. He knew how she tended to get cold easily and since it was his idea that clothes were banned for the next 12 hours, it was only fair that he made sure that she was warm. His arms were up to the task as he wrapped them around her, Erin leaning her weight onto him, as an old black and white played on his television.
If someone paid him a million dollars to name the movie or what it was about, he wouldn't be able to do it. Because having her warm and naked body laying up against him took up all of his attention and he was far too busy running his hand over her soft skin and laying kisses everywhere he could to pay attention to some movie.
"I could stay here forever," she voiced, sounding completely content in his arms. He smiled, agreeing with her sentiment.
"Even though my place is ridiculously small and strangely too orange?" he joked, looking around at his yellow-orange-brown walls. He wasn't the best at interior designs and colors of his walls weren't something he paid a lot of attention to.
Erin chuckled into his chest. "You should've seen the place where I grew up in," she said, placing her hand on his chest.
"A mansion in Bel-air?" he joked, not really being serious.
She looked up at him. "You seem to have the wrong idea of me, Jay." He frowned at her words. "I didn't grow up rich you know? Or with a silver spoon in my mouth."
He wasn't sure what he was expecting, not really knowing about Erin's childhood other than she started acting at a young age. So naturally he just assumed that she always had money and lived in nice and fancy places.
"Tell me," he said. "I want to know everything about you."
"For one thing, I grew up in a trailer park in California," his eyes widened, not expecting that. "Yeah, so you think your place is small? You should've seen our place back then. Our neighbors were literally only feets away from us and we could hear everything, every fights they had. Everytime they had sex." He grimaced, earning a laugh from her. "Yeah, you could tell how a six-year old me was traumatized. I thought he was killing her at first and ran to my mom crying. I can still remember the look on Bunny's face when she realized that she needed to give me 'the talk' 7 years too early."
He laughed, seeing the image clearly in his head. "What did she say to you?"
"She lied, naturally. Said that the neighbors were just playing a game. I bought it so the next time I saw the neighbors, I asked them if I could play too and Bunny was mortified. The neighbors got so red when they realized what was happening and they could never look me in the eyes after that." Jay laughed, his chest rumbling, at her story. "It wasn't funny Jay," she admonished him, only jokingly as she couldn't stop herself from laughing either.
"I'm imagining the six year old you in my head, with your little dimples, telling your neighbors that," Jay said, still amused by her story.
"Yeah, it's funny now but I think it's what motivated Bunny to get us out of that place as quickly as possible."
"Is that why you started acting?" he asked, brushing her hair back to get a better look at her face.
"I guess," she shrugged. "I just remember being out shopping with my mom one day and this lady came up to us, asking Bunny if I wanted to audition for a commercial. Bunny tried to refuse at first but she changed her mind when she heard that the pay was about $5,000. To us, it was like a million dollars back then." He nodded, listening to Erin talk about her childhood. He was curious and wanted to know more about her. Everything, if he could.
She remained quiet for a second, like she was sorting through her childhood memories, choosing which ones to tell him. But he didn't want her to do that, he wanted her to tell him everything, knowing that she could talk to him about anything and he'd be able to handle it. So he softly cupped her face and brought it up to kiss her.
"So I auditioned for this cereal commercial," Erin continued. "It was my first time and I was so lost but somehow, the producers found it endearing or something and I booked it. Then I booked another and another and before I knew it, we were able to get out of the trailer park and into a nice apartment." He ran his fingers on her arms, letting her continue. "Then Bunny got greedy, I guess. Started making me audition for movies and television roles."
"So it wasn't your idea to start acting?"
She shook her head softly. "I don't even think I fully understood what I was getting myself into then," she revealed. "I was so young and all of a sudden, I was pushed in front of cameras and stranger men watching me repeat lines that I didn't fully understand. That was probably why I sucked so hard," she laughed, although she sounded anything but amused. "I booked a few roles here and there but nothing like what Bunny wanted for me. She wanted me to become a star and I didn't know what I wanted so I just went along with it. That was most of my childhood, auditions after auditions, mixed in with acting classes. By the time I was about 20, I was just over it. I think Bunny was too since I never booked a good role."
"Then One Tree Hill came calling?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I met Caitlin during the audition, you know? She was auditioning for the role of Brooke too. She and I had ran into a few auditions before but we only started talking then. Anyway, I got the role and you know the rest."
"Do you like acting?" he asked her, looking deep into her eyes, waiting for her to be completely honest. "Is it your passion? Do you think it's what you're meant to do? Put on this earth to do?"
She parted her mouth to answer but closed it, unable to answer him.
"Erin?" he hedged, wanting to know her answer. Because from the story he heard, it seemed as though she was pushed into her career at a very young age, never given a choice to decide what she wanted to do with her life. He wanted to know if she, at least, loved what she did. How she had to spend every day of her life.
"Honestly, I don't know," she finally confessed, looking at him with eyes so vulnerable, like she was revealing something she had never said before. He wanted to pull her into his arms and protect her from harm.
"You don't?"
She shook her head. "I don't think anyone ever asked me this question before," she said, her big hazel eyes looking at him, like he was the only one to see her. Maybe he was. After all, if he was the first person to ask her if she loved her job out of everyone in her life, then maybe no one cared enough to look. And he meant, really look. Past her pretenses and fake smiles, ones that she had perfected over the years as an actress. Suddenly, his dislike of her mother grew exponentially.
"I asked because I want to know," Jay voiced. "I want to know you, Erin. Not Erin Lindsay, the actress. But Erin, the person. I want to know what makes you happy, what gets you to smile and what makes you cry. I want to know it all and maybe if I'm lucky enough, I get to be the person that makes you smile, bring you things that makes you happy, and fight off all the things that make you cry."
She shifted in his arms so she could get a better look at him and see the honesty in his eyes at what he just said. She knew from just one look that it wasn't just pick up lines from him, and that he truly meant every words he just said. Her heart fluttered at the realization— that this incredible man truly cared about her. The real her.
"Okay then," she said as she settled back in his arms. "I love the beach. I grew up near one and me and Annie would always go whenever we could and just swim in the water all day. On my ninth birthday, my mom got me this bodyboard that I begged for and I spent the whole summer on it, just riding the waves. It was the best summer of my life." He smiled as he dropped his head into her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. "I cry at the most ridiculous things. Like I'm talking about watching little kids audition on those talent shows. If I see a kid singing, I'd start bawling like a crazy person," she said, feeling his chest rumble with laughter. "And what makes me smile? Hmmm," she thought over her answer for a bit. She smiled as she shifted in his arms again so she was facing him completely. "Lately? You. You make me smile like I never have before. Like I'm a big dork."
He smiled just as wide as she was and their lips met in a sweet and tender kiss, Jay gazing into her eyes as he softly brushed the hair that had fallen on her face behind her ears.
"You make me smile like a dork too."
"Then I'll guess we'll both just have to be two big dorks." He nodded, nothing sounding better.
It was in Jay's nature to be cautious, to take things slow, and to assess things with his head and not his heart. But there was just something about Erin Lindsay that had him completely head over heels for her and had him throwing all of his caution to the wind.
He'd never expected to get this close, this fast, to her. But as the months went by and he had gotten to know her more, he found himself liking her more than he'd ever thought possible. Lately, as she laid in his arms and the morning hours encased her in a beautiful glow, the word 'love' began to made its way into his head and heart more and more. He thought it was almost ridiculous to fall in love in mere three months but as he looked at Erin, shooting her scene in front of him, love seemed to be the only word strong enough to describe his feelings for her.
"And cut!" the director said through his megaphone. "Alright, good job everyone. We'll shoot the chase scene next."
Erin gave everyone on the crew a warm smile as she walked off the set, coming to join Jay by where he stood watching. Despite them growing close over the months, people around them were none the wiser. He knew it was incredibly important for her that they keep their relationship to themselves, especially if she was publicly dating Kelly. But behind closed doors and dark lights, he was who she wanted. Jay was never one to be a jealous type and despite him not enjoying seeing her with Kelly or hearing the world talk about how cute of a couple she and Kelly made, Jay wasn't jealous. He knew where Erin's feelings were, even if she couldn't show it in front of people.
"Good job, Erin," he told her, trying to keep the distance between them in front of others.
"Thank you, Jay," she returned, a hint of mischief in her eyes at how ridiculous they were being. "I'm gonna get some snacks. Want to join me?"
He nodded, following her to the catering table. He grabbed a plate and placed the food that he knew she'd like before handing it over to her, while she busied herself making two cups of coffee, one for him just the way he liked. It was a routine they developed over the past month, one that made them feel like somewhat of a normal couple. Even though he was fine with keeping things a secret for now, he did enjoy the moments of normalcy between them. But it was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make to be with her, knowing that his place was where she preferred to be whenever she had free time.
His apartment had become a safe haven of sorts for the both of them. Erin would come by whenever she was done shooting and she spent the night, the two of them making love until they were completely spent and falling asleep in each other's arms, until reality beckoned and Erin would return to her hotel room, hoping that Bunny wouldn't catch her.
Erin was more than grateful that her publicity relationship with Kelly had given her more opportunities because it gave Bunny something to do— more calls to make, more contracts to sign— and it had given Erin the free time to be with Jay. Annie and Caitlin had began to make comments about Erin being too busy but she had tried to brush it off with the excuse of her being tired and how shooting an action movie took a lot out of her. She was just glad that Annie had her son to busy herself with and Caitlin with the small role in the movie that she was focusing on.
"So Bunny's out on a conference call today and she won't be on set today. That means…" Erin trailed off but Jay knew exactly where she was going with it.
"I'll meet you in your trailer in five?" Erin just hummed and gave him a small wink before leaving. Jay watched her walk away, counting down the minutes until he could join her.
"Finally!" she breathed as soon as he entered, Jay getting an arm full of Erin. "What took you so long?"
"Mouse," he mumbled against her lips, his hands cupping her ass. "He needed to talk to me about something or another." Jay and Mouse had become good friends through his time on set, the latter getting attached to him. Jay liked the guy, Mouse being one of the few guys that Jay actually liked on the movie set. But he'd hate Mouse if it meant that the guy was standing in his way of getting to Erin as soon as possible.
"Hmm," was all Erin could say before they were heading to the couch, Jay dropping her on it gently. They only had a few minutes to spare before Erin had to shoot her next scene and they were going to take full advantage of it.
"God, I can't get enough of you," Jay nearly growled as he kissed her hard, his hand coming to cup her breast. Erin moaned breathlessly, as she bit his ear gently, sending blood rushing straight to his groin. "You're so beautiful," he said, looking at her.
"No time for that," Erin said, rushing to pull his shirt off before making a quick work of hers, tossing both of them to the side. "I just want you so badly."
He smiled, giving into her demands, knowing he was powerless to refuse in the first place.
They laid on the couch, entangled with one another, as they caught their breaths after their lovemaking. She was laying in his arms, her back to his chest, and their hands laced together. He couldn't speak just yet, so he brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it, letting her know without words just how incredible she was.
She smiled, bringing their joined hands to her mouth so she could do the same. As usual, whenever the two of them got together, everything drifted into the background, and they entered a world where it was just the two of the, nothing and no one else mattered. It was a new feeling for Erin— one that could only be categorized as love— even if she wasn't ready to admit to him or herself, just yet. But she felt it all the same and it was something she couldn't lie to herself.
She shifted so she was facing him, Jay trailing his finger on her face gently. He was always so gentle with her, even when he was completely consumed by passion and lust. He made her feel safe and treasured, something she never felt before. She wanted to thank him for it, for making her see how she was to be treated. She brought her head up to kiss him, thanking him with her lips.
Before they could get lost in each other again, a knock came on her trailer door.
"You're needed on set in ten minutes!"
She groaned, burying her head in his chest.
"Duty calls," he whispered against her forehead, before laying a kiss on it.
"Duty calls."
It was meant to be a quick scene, just Erin solo on the set. She was shooting a scene where she was supposed to be chasing a perp through a warehouse. The set had a makeshift warehouse made, complete with empty crates and dim lightings to make the scene more realistic.
Jay stood by the director, watching the scene, pointing out how the real police would go through a search like that. It wasn't completely realistic. After all, no real police would be allowed to go on a solo search but movies only allowed for so much realism. So he bit his lips as he watched the scene unfold.
Erin was leaning against the wall, shouting her lines, and he watched proudly as his girl shot the scene. He had given her advice on what to do and she had taken them. She could pass for a real detective by the way she carried herself.
"Get lighting 2 on her," the director instructed to the lighting director, wanting a more darker lights to the rest of the scene and a spotlight on Erin. Jay watched as the cranes that were holding the lights up shifted into place, rattling a bit. He frowned, wondering if they were supposed to do that, but the lighting director didn't seem concerned.
"Okay, lower the lighting 2 onto Erin," the director shouted and the lighting director followed his order. Then as the heavy lights held by the crane was being lowered, Jay could only watch in horror as the hook that was carrying it fell off, the heavy lights coming down on Erin. there were audible gasps of horror around the set but Jay couldn't hear. His only thought was to move as fast as possible before the whole thing fell on Erin and crushing her.
He ran towards her, barely managing to bring her down and away, before the heavy light made contact with the ground, the bulbs shattering into pieces, right where Erin would have been.
"Are you okay?" he asked frantically, as he got up from the ground, not wanting to crush her. His hands were shaking so bad that he barely managed to pat her down, looking to see if she was injured. "Erin," he sounded nothing like his usual self, fear completely taking over him.
"Yeah," she groaned, wincing after landing hard on the ground. "Yeah, I'm fine." She winced again as she tried to sit up, her eyes widening when she took in the scene a few feet away from her feet. The pile of shattered glass and the mess greeted as and she realized just how close she came to getting hurt for real. But as always, Jay had saved her. Again.
"You okay?" the director and the crew came closer to her, worried faces glancing down at her. She could only nod, still in shock over what happened. "What the hell Steven?" the director turned his ire to the lighting director who came over.
"I…. I don't know. I double checked the equipment. I don't know how it could've fallen off," he stammered, sounding genuinely in shock.
"Well, apparently not! Because you almost killed her!" Jay roared, his anger growing at how close Erin came to getting hurt. His heart was beating out of his chest, seeing the damage the light made on the ground. If he didn't get to Erin in time, then she would've been hurt, badly.
"I'm sorry!" Steven said, begging Erin to believe him.
"It's fine," Erin said, trying to stand up. Jay reached over and helped her, steadying her on his feet. He knew he should move his hands away from her arms since everyone's eyes were on them, but he couldn't. Not when he needed to touch her, feel her, and needed to make his heart understand that Erin was fine. "It was an accident."
"Let's get this cleaned up!" the director ordered. "Erin, take the rest of the day off. Shake it off and we'll resume filming tomorrow."
"No, it's fine. We can do this after everything gets cleaned up." Jay wanted to protest in her place but bit his mouth. It wasn't his place to.
"It's fine. We have to replace the lights anyway so take the time off."
Erin nodded, her eyes meeting Jay's.
He held her tightly in his arms as soon as they got back to her trailer. He clutched her to him, feeling her heartbeat against his, with just how close they were. He needed the closeness, he needed to feel her in his arms, to know that she was unharmed. That she was alright.
"I'm okay, Jay," she whispered into his neck. "I'm fine."
She was the one that went through the ordeal but he was the one left shaking. The adrenaline was coming down and the reality of what could've happened had set in more for him. He exhaled, trying to get himself under control. She needed him to be the strong one right now. She was the one who almost got hurt, not him, so he needed to be there for her.
"You're really fine?" He patted her up and down, earning a chuckle from her.
"Yeah, I promise," she said. "You saved me again. You're like my hero or something." She tried to joke, lighten up the mood, but he wasn't entirely ready just yet. But once again, he bit down his worry and gave her what she needed.
"Yeah, I think instead of a police consultant, I should become your bodyguard seeing as how I'm always rescuing you."
She grinned. "My hero."
He cupped her face, his face becoming serious again. "You're really okay though right?"
She sobered up and she nodded. "I'm okay," she said, leaning into his hands. "It was just a freak accident. Part of the job."
She still sensed his worry so she did the only thing she could to calm him down. She pulled him into her arms again, the two of them swaying side by side, holding each other. Jay inhaled the scent of her, one that brought him comfort and happiness, as he tried to calm his racing heart. Even though, Erin had tried to brush off what happened as a freak accident, there was something gnawing in his chest that told him that it was anything but.
AN: I'm so sorry for the long wait you guys! But I finally managed to finish this chapter and post it. I hope you guys had a great mother's day, if you're a mother or mother to fur babies or just spent the day with your moms. I had an awesome one with my incredible mom and I hope you guys found a way to make the day special even during these times.
Anyway, I hope this chapter was worth the wait and be sure to let me know your thoughts. You know how much I love reading them.