Well that had got more than a little out of hand.
Miles sighed, breath misting into the crisp morning air as he surveyed the cold white landscape outside, brain cataloguing and compartmentalising the experience of the last twelve hours like a military debriefing.
"Oh my goodness! It snowed so much!" Cream rocked on her heels beside him, one of Amy's borrowed jackets draped over her shoulders.
"Yeah, looks to be a good two foot deep. Hope I can figure out where I parked."
Miles raised his hand, palm held upwards as he prodded at the controls for a moment. A small explosion erupted in snow and ice at the other end of the street, eliciting a surprised yelp from Cream. Black smoke sizzled up into the pale blue winter sky.
"Ah yep. There we are."
"Mister Tails what did you do?"
"I'm... pretty sure that was just a streetlight."
"Mister Tails!"
"I'm sure they'll just bill me again!" Miles rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "They like it, I swear! I'm helping promote job security!"
Technically the Broken Window fallacy applied here, but since he was fairly sure that the economic damage was to himself, that was a net positive for the rest of the world and a non-existent opportunity cost for him, given his usual spending habits.
"Mister Tails, that is terrible. No more breaking things!" Cream huffed, hands on her hips. "You could hurt someone!"
"Alright, Cream, I'm sorry." He tapped a finger to his lips. "It's a bit far for me to fly. You?"
"I'm sorry, I can't fly very far without Cheese helping me, Mister Tails." Cream shook her head.
"It's fine." Miles shrugged. "Well, hop on."
"What?" Cream's fluffy tail twitched as she looked up at him.
"Snow's way too deep for you, right? Come on, I'll give you a piggy back."
"Oh, um, okay." Cream slipped her leg carefully over his tails.
Miles straightened, dropping his hands under her legs to shift her into position before letting her weight settle down onto the base of his tails.
"Alright, you holding tight?"
"Are you sure I'm not too heavy for you?" Cream's voice came between his ears as her hands locked around his chest.
"Cream, I can lift a plane."
"Well, yes, Mister Tails, but all my weight is on your… butt."
Miles let out a laugh. "It's fine. Really. But if you're worried I'll pull your tail later."
"Mister Tails!"
"What? Everyone messes with my tails." Miles stepped out onto the snow, dense frame sinking immediately up to his neck.
"Well, yes. But that doesn't count."
"What."
"They're so long after all."
"They're still me!"
Cream suddenly giggled.
"I suppose that's true. It's still funny what happened though."
"Nothing happened." Miles' ears lay flat as he trudged out to the sidewalk, carving a furrow in the snow with his chest.
"When Miss Amy was-"
"Didn't. Happen."
That humiliating case of mistaken identity was probably why Amy hadn't come out to see them off. Her own fault for using a giant plush version of him as a pillow in the first place. He pressed his ears flatter against the memory.
Cream giggled again, gripping tighter as he crunched through a snow drift.
"Whatever you say, Mister Tails. What happens in truth or dare..."
She'd probably have noticed if it was Sonic. He had spines after all, much less cuddly than he was.
Though… She probably wouldn't have wanted to let go if it had been Sonic.
"I wanted to thank you, Mister Tails." Cream spoke softly into his ear, despite the deserted early morning streets.
"Huh? For what?"
"Miss Amy seemed to be in a good mood lately. And I think you've had a lot to do with it."
"Me?" Miles shrugged, a sigh misting out before him. "I don't think I've done anything special. Not that she deserves it after last night, but..."
"I think the things you do are very special, Mister Tails." Cream nodded, her chin rubbing the back of his head. "And you're nicer than you think too."
"I'm very nice." Miles lied. "Carrying you, aren't I? And I haven't even tweaked your tail despite perfect opportunity."
"Well, you are a little on the timid side, yes." Cream nodded again.
"Hey!"
"But I'm happy."
"You're happy I'm timid?" Miles tilted an ear, brushing past a nose in the process.
"Not that. I thought that you didn't like me very much, Mister Tails."
"Huh? No I-"
"It was fine if you didn't. You've always been nice to me and mama after all. But you always seemed to avoid talking to me."
Miles walked on, biting his lip.
"But after last night I can see you're just shy. It makes me happy."
"Wait, so you are happy I'm timid."
Cream giggled again. "You're a little intimidating, Mister Tails. Seeing that you have things you aren't good at makes you seem a little more real somehow."
"I'm not that shy." Miles pouted.
"You still haven't touched my tail."
"Well that's- I- It's- You- We're here." Miles pointed at the smoking crater, devoid of snow where the incendiary had kicked in.
"Huh? Where's your plane?"
"I… think it's under that snow drift, let's pop you down here…" Miles crouched down, slipping his tails from between her legs and stepping clear. "I'll see if I can fire up the bubble field and get her clear."
"Alright."
Miles stared at the palm of his glove. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but in hindsight… Probably should have included labels.
… This one?
The telltale hum of a wave motion beam charging sang out from the snow. He hurriedly pressed it a second time to cancel. Cream smiled up at him with polite interest.
"Just, uh, just warming her up." He rubbed the back of his head.
Alright, so if the death ray was there, then… He pressed the button.
Bingo!
Wait-
"That was very impressive, Mister Tails." Cream's gentle voice came from behind him.
"Tnkth." Miles replied.
"Especially the way the snow flew so far."
"Mhm."
"It was very nice for you to jump out in front of me."
"Yr wlcm."
"Do you need me to help get the snow off?"
"Plth."
A few whacks and tugs later, and Miles tottered backwards, world filled with light once more, and Cream's smiling face peering up at him.
"Thanks." He rubbed the back of his head, dislodging more snow. "I… guess I feel pretty real right now, huh?"
"Don't worry, Mister Tails." Cream reached up on tip toe to pat his head. "I think the real you is a very interesting person to be friends with."
"We're friends now?" Miles blinked in surprise. Wait, was that insulting? Dealing with people was hard. Damage control-
Cream laughed.
"Well, sure, Mister Tails. We already were!"
"That… that's good to know, Cream. Thanks." He gestured a thumb towards the Vortex, now settled in its own area devoid of the snow that lay even more thickly in a blast wave around it. "Shall we?"
He grabbed her outstretched hand and took off, traversing the distance in moments. There was a slight pressure as they slipped through the bubble field into the cold, arid air within.
"Oh! I like the colour, very nice."
"Thanks! Green is the best colour for cars." He opened the door for her before zipping around to the other side.
"Ooo, the seats are heated and everything?"
"Well that's probably from the wave-" Miles caught himself. "Uh, yeah, cool feature, huh? So do you want to drive or fly back?"
"Mm." Cream twitched her nose thoughtfully. "Fly please. It's going to be hard to drive in all this snow, right?"
Not really. Miles nodded. A bubble shield functioned by removing water from the surroundings - a feature that had taken a good deal of fine tuning to stop it from being an all purpose biocide. The function would effectively double as a snow plough, but… probably worth testing it a bit more on things other than mobian biology first.
"Alright, shouldn't take long."
The seats swayed beneath them as the Vortex transformed, rotors sending wisps of snow drifting across the street. It lifted from the ground in near silence, leaving them sat in the same as Cream peered out the window at the world accelerating beneath them.
...Wait. Was she giggling again?
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, I was just thinking about last night."
"Cream, if I or anyone see those photos then I am going to delete the internet."
"I promise to keep them very safe, Mister Tails. But I was actually thinking about Miss Amy."
"Well she started it!"
"I haven't seen her that calm in a long time, and she certainly had lots of nice things to say about you, Mister Tails."
"Hah. I guess I like her teasing me more than hammering me at least." Miles rubbed the back of his head with a grin. The evening had helped him understand how Cream thought a little better, at least.
The dashboard pinged. Miles tapped the autopilot as he reached over to open the screen. A blue whirl icon indicated the incoming message.
:: tails u there?
"Oh, is that Mister Sonic!" Cream pushed forward. "Tell him I said hi!"
:: I'm here, Sonic, what's up?
:: Cream says hi, by the way, just running her home after the snowstorm.
:: hi cream!
"He can't actually hear you, Cream." Miles rubbed his ear.
:: so ol buddy ol pal... u know anything about this?
Miles barely had time to steel himself before the video file popped up. Amy, clad in the bright coloured outfit of Rainbow the pony and her cheeks almost the same colour as her fur from embarrassment, used a hairbrush as a makeshift microphone as she belted out an enthusiastic rendition of the Rainbow theme song with a pair of press-ganged backup singers dancing behind her.
"The choreography really came out well, didn't it, Mister Tails?"
She didn't even have the decency to be apologetic. That was her dare. At least he'd remembered to take off Amy's glasses before they recorded.
:: She's a surprisingly good singer, isn't she?"
:: she's not the only one!
At least they let him dress as the boy character. For the video. Miles put his hands over his face, taking a deep breath.
:: so anyway u know how this comms channel is only for emergencies and mission critical info?
:: You're right, sorry Sonic.
:: u think u can set up a new one?
:: cos this is the funniest thing i ever saw
:: even funnier than that pickle thing
:: i already shared it with knux & rouge
:: she sez even shadow liked it!
"Are you alright, Mister Tails?"
"Just stress testing the dashboard, Cream." Miles rubbed his forehead with a sigh.
:: I'll see what I can set up when I get back, Sonic.
He shut the screen off and resumed clutching his hands over his face, trying to spontaneously develop enough Chaos affinity to will himself off the face of the planet until an alert beeped on his dashboard again.
"Oh, there's Water Palace, Cream. We'll be there in a minute."
"Thank you very much for the ride. It would have been hard with all this snow."
"No problem. And, uh…" Miles rubbed the back of his head. "If you want to swing by the lab any time I'm in the area… you're… um... always welcome."
"I think I'd like that." Cream winked a brown eye at him. "I'm sure we could find something fun to do. Maybe I'll make you something that isn't bees?"
"Mhm." Miles stared at her half-lidded. "Maybe I'll make you something that is bees?"
"Ew! No!"
"I could check through the old cookbooks, maybe you'll decide you like it?"
"Mister Tails!" Cream flailed both hands at him as though to swat the insectoid threat there and then.
Miles just grinned, taking control to descend upon a little cottage of more sensible proportions below. A cheery light of early decorations twinkled from the window.
"There we go. Want me to carry you to the door?"
"That's alright." Cream smiled brightly. "I can fly this far."
Miles nodded, tapping a control to open the door for her.
"Oh, Mister Tails?"
"Yeah?" Miles looked back to the rabbit sitting with her feet hanging out of the Vortex.
"I like you, Mister Tails. You're a very interesting person. And I think Miss Amy likes you too." She smiled, twitching the fluffy cream tail from the bottom of her oversized coat. "But you should probably try to be a little less timid."
Miles met her unblinking gaze with his own, raising a hand…
"Bye, Cream." He waved with a smile.
Cream giggled, twitching her tail once more. "Goodbye, Mister Tails. And good luck!"
And she was gone, swooping through the air with physics defying grace to her door, disappearing inside with one final wave.
Miles took a deep breath, pressing the button to seal the door before once again stress testing his dashboard.
Amy, Rouge, and now Cream. Was there ever going to be a girl in his life who didn't delight in messing with his carefully structured head? Hopefully he could burrow deep in his lab for the next month or two until something less complicated came along. Like brain mechanics. Or rocket surgery.
The screen pinged under his face. He pulled back with a sigh to see Amy's icon flashing. He tapped it after a moment's hesitation to see the same video Sonic had posted.
Except it wasn't.
It was a link.
To Scrambler.
Where it had forty-six million views.
"Oh Penders." Miles wrapped his arms around his tails in horror.
:: soleanna festival of lights
:: next week
:: you bring Sonic
:: I bring Cream
:: you will make it a magical evening for everyone
:: and I won't beat you both to death with a hammer.
:: deal?
Miles burrowed his face into his tails, screaming into their thick fur as he typed his response.