AN1: So, uh, hey everybody! I am sooooooo sorry about my lack of updating. Things have happened since the last time I posted anything. After all these years of pain, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Fun. Still in the phase of seeing what works, and I recently found out that my body rejects serotonin that comes from meds...so, yeah. That's just one thing, but with everything that has happened, it all made me lose my motivation for writing. But, I believe I've got the spark back. Please bear with me if my writing is a bit rusty. More chapters for my other stories MIGHT be coming soon. Can't promise anything.

AN2: If there's anyone out there with a vast knowledge of anything nautical, please PM me about any mistakes I made if I misuse any words. I did a lot of researching, but I still get confused about some parts of the ship. Comments and Positive Criticism are encouraged. Flames I will have Zuko bend back at you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender

Chapter One Vocabulary:

Galley- the kitchen of the ship

Gripe- complain

Gunnel- upper edge of the hull

Helmsman- a person who steers a ship

Loose Cannon- someone who is out of control, unpredictable, and who may cause damage

Mess- an eating place aboard the ship

Port- left side of the ship

Scraping the bottom of the barrel- the last resort or something generally not wanted

Chapter One: Awakening

It all happened so fast.

Prince Zuko had just sent several blasts of fire at the Avatar—a child!—who was balancing precariously on the gunnel*. The kid fell overboard, and Zuko inwardly panicked. He hadn't meant to kill the boy! He was his ticket home!

The scarred teen could vaguely recall the young airbender rising out of the ocean, eyes and tattoos glowing. A large whip of water, a hit to the chest, and he was sent flying over the gunnel* and into the frigid waters.

The sheer coldness of the water momentarily paralyzed him, and then his hands were scrambling to get everything and anything off of him that could weigh him down. In his haste, he forgot to spread his inner flame throughout his body to keep him warm. He doesn't remember, but somehow the prince managed to get his armor off. Except, he had forgotten about his heavy boots.

'No!' he frantically yelled in his mind.

While his arms were fine and limber from all that movement, his spine and joints below the hips were frozen stiff, thus he was unable to reach them after trying several times. Heart pounding almost painfully against his chest, he gave up on his task. Raising his arms as much as he could above his head, Zuko began paddling through the water towards the surface. At this point, he didn't care if his movements were not graceful and unbecoming of a prince.

The cold was starting to affect him, his strokes becoming smaller as to conserve as much energy as he could. He needed air, needed the warmth of the sun's rays to keep his dwindling inner flame from going out. Zuko had to reach the sunlit world! How was he supposed to restore his honor if he died by drowning? His father and sister would surely laugh at that!

He's pretty sure that his uncle must have noticed his absence on the deck by now and is worried about him, and he would grudgingly like to hope that his crew would be concerned just a little bit. The chilly waters seeped deeper into his body, his limbs heavy and body too cold for his inner flame to warm him.

'It can't end like this!'

It's taking his complete concentration by now just to move, chest on fire as his lungs hungered for desperately needed air. But the sunlight mocks him as his strokes slow to a complete stop, and his boots drag him deeper into the depths.

'I don't want to die!'

"You're dead, Wan."

Wan? Who's Wan?

"Actually, I feel quite alive."

Mouth clamped shut and black creeping on the edge of his vision, his senses went inward.

He watched a young man evading capture. The young man tricking the lion turtle just so he could feed his makeshift family. Being banished. Barred entry to an oasis by spirits. Rescued by one of said spirits after trying to free a cat deer. Living with the spirits.

People say that when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. If that's true, then why was Zuko seeing this? The images came faster now, accompanied with sound as they flooded his mind.

"The human and spirit realms are headed toward annihilation, and it's all your fault!"

"Raava, please, I can't let the world fall into chaos because of my mistake. Neither of us can defeat Vaatu alone, but together we have a chance."

"You showed me we could change the world if we just stopped being afraid."

"I was wrong about you, Wan. I had no idea that humans were capable of such nobility and courage."

"I will teach men to respect the spirits so that balance will be maintained. I will be the bridge between our two realms."

Zuko couldn't do it anymore. He needed to breathe dammit! He opened his mouth, losing what little air there was in bubbles as water rushed in. It looks like his father's wish was going to come true after all, he distantly thought as his eyes began to flutter close. Before darkness claimed him, he briefly noticed something blocking the sun.

'I'm sorry, Uncle...Raava... Forgive..me...'

-DECK-

Watching the flying bison take off with the Avatar and two Water Tribe children onboard, Iroh cast his eyes to the deck, surveying the aftermath. The front half of the Wani's deck was buried under ice and snow. All of the soldiers were present on the deck, three preparing to use their flames to free the trio encased in ice, and two were climbing back onto the deck after grabbing the ladder rungs bolted to the ship's sides when the Avatar sent them overboard. Lieutenant Jee was on the deck and Kenji, the ship's medic, was looking over Chen and Nishi who had hit the gunnel*. He frowned when he noticed that someone was missing.

"Tell me, where is Prince Zuko?"

The men who had been on the deck during the fight froze, looking anywhere but at him. A sinking feeling came over Iroh, becoming concerned and afraid for the young man he treated like a son.

"No," he whispered, following a few of the soldier's eyes to the port side gunnel*. 'No! Not again! Agni, don't take another son from me!'

Reaching the gunnel*, he looked over the edge and down into the water, praying that, somehow, he would see Zuko. Of course, Iroh realized that his nephew would have been wearing his armor in order to apprehend the Avatar. Taking a few steps back, the retired general began removing his armor.

"General Iroh, sir! What are you doing?" came Jee's voice as the lieutenant quickly strode over to him.

"My nephew is down there! I am not going to leave him there to die!"

It then struck the lieutenant. Even though the young prince had been a griping loose cannon of a spoiled brat since day one, he was still the general's nephew. After the loss of his son at Ba Sing Se, Iroh had started treating the boy like a second son. A second son that the man was going to lose if nothing was done to save him.

Decision made, the lieutenant quickly began to divest himself of his armor. Once down to his ash gray tunic and pants, he leaned against the edge to pull off his boots, ignoring his men and the distraught uncle who had stopped his fumbling to watch him.

Tossing his boots into the pile of armor, he was about to shout for some rope when the sole female soldier, Akane, handed him a thick and sturdy coil of it. "Please bring him back to us, sir," she whispered to the lieutenant.

Wordlessly nodding to her, Jee pretended to not see the disgruntled looks most of the crew were trying to hide from the general as he tied the rope around his waist. Making sure that the knot would not come undone, he nodded his head to Iroh and dove into the water.

Coming up for air, the lieutenant let out a sharp gasp. It was freezing! Letting his inner flame spread through his body, he took a deep breath and went under the waves, using long strokes to cover more distance. Glimpsing down, he could see Prince Zuko closing his eyes. Shit. No time to linger. Quickening his pace, he finally reached the prince. Wrapping an arm around the unconscious teen and triple-checking his grip, Jee began kicking his way up to the surface.

Lungs burning, they broke the surface. Looking up, the lieutenant could see Iroh gazing down at them, a watery and relieved smile on his aged face. Tugging sharply on the rope after wrapping it several times around his arm and gripping tightly, he felt the strain in his arm as the men began to pull them up. Making sure he wouldn't injure his shoulder and that he was clutching Prince Zuko tightly against his chest, the lieutenant and his passenger were lifted out of the water. On the way up, Jee couldn't shake off the feeling that something was horribly wrong.

He was eventually able to switch his grip from the rope to the smooth metal of the gunnel*. Planting his feet firmly against the ship's side, he relinquished the prince into Akane's waiting arms before vaulting over back onto the deck. One of the soldiers handed him a towel after he had finished untying the rope on him. Nodding in thanks, he padded over to where Iroh was kneeling next to Zuko's unconscious form. Akane was standing off to the side, concern and worry burning in her honey-colored eyes. The prince was still. Too still.

Lowering himself onto his knees on the prince's other side, the lieutenant noticed something alarming. Zuko's chest wasn't moving. Sharing a look with Iroh, he grabbed the prince's wrist to check for a pulse as the general turned his nephew's head to the side to let excess water come out. His pulse was there, but slow. Good. He was still alive, for now. Pinching Zuko's nose closed, Jee was about to initiate the standard procedure for drowning victims when he was interrupted.

"Captain-!"

Eyes boring holes into the bald soldier (oh yes, Kan was going to be in a world of pain come time for training), he snapped out, "Unless there is anyone on this ship who can bend air or water, be silent."

The soldier froze at the lieutenant's tone, and Jee went back to saving his general's nephew.

Several minutes in with no response, Iroh's face began to crumple in despair, but the lieutenant kept going. That face. He never wanted to see that on the general's face again, the first time being when he received news of Prince Lu Ten's death.

Another couple of times repeating the cycle, his efforts were rewarded when he heard a weak, wet cough come from the prince. With Iroh's help they turned him onto his side to allow the teen to bring up water. He coughed up water several more times before getting onto his hands and knees to heave out the rest. The teen's eyes were wide open and color was returning to his pale face. That was a good sign of his inner flame regaining its strength.

They allowed the prince some time to get his bearings as the crew watched on. The lieutenant saw disappointed expressions on most of them as he and Iroh stood up, and he was absolutely certain that Prince Zuko saw them as well.

Once the coughing had ceased, Zuko shakily set about getting on his feet. Jee and Iroh moved to assist him, but the prince motioned them to stop. Jee couldn't help but think that, even after coming back from the precipice of death, the prince still had to appear strong in front of the crew.

Zuko's mind was reeling, trying to comprehend what happened as he was losing consciousness. He needed time to process this, preferably in his quarters. His soaked body quivering, Zuko managed to get his feet under him and stand up. Taking a quick glance around him, the prince decided to get things done now so he could have more time to himself.

"You three," Zuko ordered, pointing at Akane and two other firebending soldiers. "Start melting the ice and snow covering the deck."

His pointer finger next settled on one of the nonbender soldiers, Sekitan he believed was his name. "Prepare the washroom for the soldiers."

Not waiting to see the soldier bow and run off, he pointed at the remaining bending soldiers. "Continue getting them out of the ice before going to assist the others with the deck."

He finally pointed to the last trio of nonbenders. "Help them inside to the washroom once they're fee."

His orders given, the prince began to walk towards the door. He only got in a few steps when the lieutenant inquired, "Where to after this?"

Zuko paused mid-step. Without missing a beat, he replied, "North. The Wani needs repairs."

"Prince Zuko," Iroh started. "Maybe you should-"

"I will be in my quarters," Zuko interrupted as he continued walking.

As he passed the lieutenant, Jee heard a whispered 'thank you.' Turning, he watched the prince walk inside, a thoughtful expression on his weathered face. Prince Zuko had never, before today, called the ship by her name.

-ZUKO'S-QUARTERS-

Zuko had a contemplative expression on his scarred face as he lay on his futon in his quarters, clad in only a crimson robe. He had seen the looks on the crew's faces as he was getting up, and the prince honestly didn't know what he should be feeling. He normally would be enraged at the blatant disrespect most of the crew had shown towards him, yet...

'Have I really mistreated them so horribly that they would be glad I was dead?'

He recalled the peculiar things that had happened over the past three years. Sometime within the third month of his banishment, he had caught something from one of the ports they had stopped at, that had him bedridden for almost a fortnight. He remembered the humming and gentle hands placing cold cloth on his forehead. Whenever he would go wash up, he would find his usual hygiene products already laid out for him. On days that he would skip meals for whatever reason, and there were a lot of those, there would be a tray of food placed in front of his door. Every time he had had a growth spurt, he would find his closet filled with clothing that fit him. At first, Zuko thought it was his uncle doing all those things, but now, he wasn't so sure anymore.

How could anyone do all that for him after the way he acted towards them?

Images—memories—flashed across his mind. Zuko turned to lie on his side, conflict in his eyes as he stared at nothing in general. 'These memories. Jaya, Yao, Mula, Raava...I know them, but...'

He suddenly sat up, arms resting on his knees as he cradled his head in his hands. He was so confused! Was he Wan, the first Avatar? Zuko, the banished prince? Was he both?

Zuko let out a quiet groan. "Oh Raava, even with these memories, I'm still me...right?"

He turned to look at his altar to Agni, watching the small flames go up and down, sided to side. "There has to be a way to make amends with my crew..."

Pale gold eyes stared at the flickering flames for a few more minutes. He would have to give it some more thought before attending dinner in the mess.

-MESS-

All eyes were on him throughout dinner. Of course, they tried to be subtle about it, but he knew they were "sneaking" glances his way. The noodle soup may have looked and smelled delicious, but he couldn't taste any of it with how preoccupied he was with what was on his mind.

As the last bowl was cleared away to the galley, Zuko rose from his seat and trudged his way to the front of the room. Wearing his gold-edged black sleeveless top, black pants and brown boots, he knew that he didn't look as intimidating as when he wore his armor. Too bad that was at the bottom of the ocean.

Turning to face everyone, the scarred teen noticed that every single one of them had their attention shifted onto him. Even the cook's. Taking a somewhat deep breath, partly to calm himself, Zuko began to speak.

"For the past three years, I have...not been the nicest person to be around." There was a snort from somewhere in the room, but the prince ignored it and carried on. "In the beginning, I felt that I was entitled for acting the way I did. But since then?"

Zuko paused for a few heartbeats. He really wanted to stop, wanted to leave the room and return to his quarters. But he couldn't. He was past the point of no return just by opening the invisible door. The young prince had to continue. His behavior over the past three years would surely have had his mother disappointed in him.

"Since then, I have been nothing more than a spoiled brat to you all."

Seeing expressions of pure astonishment on most of their faces, Zuko bowed to them, his half-dried phoenix plume* tickling the side of his neck. "My sincerest apologies to you all."

The room was silent as they all stared at Prince Zuko bowing to them. Prince. Zuko. Bowing to them.

'Well I'll be damned,' Jee thought. 'Kid really does have a heart.'

Iroh's heart was filled with fatherly pride as he gazed at the young man his nephew was becoming. Spread throughout the mess, the trio that had been covertly caring for the banished prince gave secretive smiles.

Straightening his spine, Zuko pressed on, praying this was the right course to take in gaining even just a little bit of acceptance from them.

"I don't know many of you very well, if at all. All I have are your records prior to being transferred to the Wani. Since I am fully aware that there are two—or more—sides to a story, starting tomorrow, I would like to meet one-on-one with each and every one of you to go over your records."

"Prince Zuko-"

"Uncle."

Zuko himself was surprised at how sharp that came out. Clearing his throat, he added in a much softer tone, "Please Uncle, let me finish."

Closing his eyes, Zuko took a deep breath before opening them.

"As you all are aware, three years ago I was given the task by my father to find and capture the Avatar. A powerful bender who had been missing for close to a hundred years. A powerful bender who just reappeared earlier today. I-"

Zuko faltered, and those sitting closest to him could see the hesitation and conflict in his eyes.

With these new (or were they old?) memories, Zuko spent quite a bit of time reflecting back on his life, and he didn't like what he was remembering. He had been blind to the manipulation, poorly hidden insults aimed at him, and how he had overall been "treated." But was he really willing to admit this out loud? To defy his father? To defy the man he wanted kindness, acceptance, and love from? To defy the man who tried to kill him? The man who never wanted him to come home?

It was at this point Zuko came to a bone chilling realization. His crew, these men—and woman—who his uncle figuratively scraped from the bottom of the barrel, were doomed to share his fate. Never able to return to their homes, never to see their friends and families ever again. All because one man was so damned determined to get rid of his son.

"I don't think he ever intended for me to come home at all."

He observed as his words sank in, several emotions appearing on the crew's faces. The horror, the hopelessness, the fear, the despair, the resignation. He saw it all. The scarred teen stayed where he was, waiting for any sort of response from those assembled here. He did not dare to look at his uncle, not wanting to see his face. The wait didn't take too long, although he was surprised at who it was.

Hearing the clearing of a throat, heads turned to look at the source.

"Since you are being so forthcoming with us," Lieutenant Jee began, choosing to ignore the prince's grim realization, for now. "Can you tell us how you got your scar? We were all told that you received it from a training accident."

The teen froze, eyes wide like a fox antelope caught in lamplight. Of all things the lieutenant could have asked, it just had to be that. Zuko sent a panicked look to his uncle.

"I-I need some air. Uncle, can you-?"

"Go, Zuko," the seasoned veteran interrupted his nephew. "The air outside will do you some good."

Bowing to the crew once more, Zuko made for the exit. The prince's movements were stiff but quick, like he didn't want to be in the room for another second. A feeling of dread filled Jee and many of the crew who noticed that, as they watched the teen disappear from view.

The moment they could no longer hear the prince's footsteps, more than two dozen pairs of eyes landed on the retired general. The man took another sip of his ginseng tea before setting down his cup. Massaging his beard, he took the time collecting his thoughts as he regarded the crew. He let out a tired sigh.

"Try to understand. My nephew has been through much, beginning at a young age. Born several weeks early in the dead of night, it was assumed that Zuko wouldn't be a firebender. My younger brother viewed having a nonbender as his firstborn a shame, so it was a relief that Zuko was able to bend close to the age of six. My brother hasn't been the most caring father to my nephew, preferring his second-born over him. In one night, my father—his grandfather—left this world, and his mother Princess Ursa vanished and is presumed dead."

Iroh paused, letting the crew process this before he loaded them with more information.

"Three years ago, I allowed Zuko to join me in the war chamber, on the promise not to speak. I wish I had told him no. In that meeting, one of the generals suggested using one of our divisions to lure the Earth Kingdom's strongest battalion into a trap. He recommended the forty-first division."

Jee wracked his brain, trying to recall the significance of that specific division. It was Sekitan who spoke up, voice shaky and face pale. "My baby cousin was part of the forty-first. They were all fresh recruits."

Oh. Oh. Oh shit. The lieutenant was not liking where this was going.

Iroh had taken the time to take another sip of his tea.

"Hard as it is to believe, Prince Zuko cares very deeply. A stark contrast to his upbringing, and a trait he received from Princess Ursa. Despite his promise to keep quiet, he stood up and accused the general of betraying the division's loyalty to their country by sacrificing them."

Everyone had to admit, what Zuko had done? It took balls just to even open his mouth. What was the strongest metal again?

The general ran fingers through his beard, before slightly bowing his head. "Zuko was right you see, but it was not his place to speak out. And there were dire consequences."

A heavy atmosphere settled over the crew. The pit in the lieutenant's stomach grew and he shot a glance towards where the scarred prince had exited.

"After Zuko's outburst, the Fire Lord became very angry with him. He said the challenge against General Bujing was an act of complete disrespect!"

Candles flared and steam rose out of the man's cup. Iroh placed the cup onto the table before he burned and ruined his tea.

"And there was only one way to resolve this."

"Agni Kai. A fire duel."

It took a moment for Jee to realize he was the one to utter those words.

"That's right. Zuko looked upon the old general he had insulted and declared that he was not afraid. But Zuko misunderstood. When he turned to face his opponent, he was surprised to see it was not the general. Zuko had spoken out against the general's plan, but by doing so in the Fire Lord's war room, it was the Fire Lord whom he had disrespected. Zuko would have to duel his own father."

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a blade, as expressions of shock and disbelief appeared on a majority of the crew's faces. His father? Akane then let out a small gasp. Oh fuck.

"When Prince Zuko saw it was his father who had come to duel him, he begged for mercy."

Zuko's pleas rang through Iroh's head.

"He refused to fight him, and the Fire Lord took that as a sign of disrespect. 'You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.' And then he..." Iroh paused, his nephew's screams of anguish and pain echoing in his mind. He closed his eyes.

"I looked away."

Horror filled the mess. Many of the crew looked down, and Jee could see Akane and several others wipe away tears. Iroh opened his gold eyes to look at them.

"After the duel, the Fire Lord said that by refusing to fight, Zuko had shown shameful weakness. As punishment, he was banished and sent to capture the Avatar. Only then could he return with his honor."

"Agni," Jee breathed out. How could a man do that to his own child?

Many members vocally echoed his thoughts.

"How can a man with no honor strip away his son's?"

Everyone turned their eyes to Genjiro, the ship's helmsman.

"To burn and banish his own son, who wouldn't fight him due to his loyalty for his Lord and father, shows that the Fire Lord has no honor. So he tried to take the prince's."

The heated muttering that came after was silenced when the retired general got out of his seat. "I'm going to go check on my nephew. We will speak more about this in the morning."

It was pointless to say good night after all they had spoken about. Instead, Iroh just nodded his head to them before exiting the mess. None of them had noticed that the general did not finish his tea.

-DECK-

Stepping out onto the deck, it didn't take Iroh long to find his nephew. He found him clad in his winter cloak and leaning against the port side gunnel*, looking out into the distance. To be honest, without the young prince's armor, seeing Zuko dressed in anything else on the ship was rare. Just a few paces from his nephew, Zuko quietly spoke.

"Am I doing the right thing, Uncle?"

"Doing what, Prince Zuko?"

"By admitting that my father's the one who is in the wrong, what is the point of going after the Avatar?"

Iroh hummed in thought, debating whether or not to reveal something about the prince to him. "There are reasons each of us are born. We have to find those reasons. Is chasing the Avatar your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone has tried to force on you?"

Zuko didn't speak for a few minutes, seeming to stew on his uncle's words. Then, in a small voice, he asked, "What do I do, uncle? Everything has become so confusing."

Seeing the turmoil in his nephew, Iroh realized that his almost death had rattled the teen and got him fighting himself, attempting to break the chains his father had wrapped him in. The general made the decision. Zuko had to be told.

"You're fighting a battle inside yourself," Iroh began, making sure he had his nephew's attention. "Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel. In your veins runs a legacy to cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation."

"Fire Lord Sozin."

Iroh let out a sigh. "Yes, and no."

Zuko turned to gaze at his uncle, questions burning in his golden eyes.

"Your father's grandfather is Sozin, yes, but your mother's grandfather was Avatar Roku. Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world."

He paused, giving his nephew time to absorb what he had just disclosed to the teen.

"Look inward and ask yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want."

"Who...am I?"

They both stood by the gunnel* for some time, one looking inside himself with glazed eyes, and the other watching his nephew carefully.

Iroh decided that enough time had passed and it was getting late. "Come, nephew. The night grows colder. Let us go inside where it is warm."

Turning towards the door, Iroh led the way across the deck. Just as he unsealed the door, he heard something soft being murmured followed by the sound of something heavy dropping onto the deck. Spinning around in alarm, the general saw his nephew on the floor, unconscious.

"Zuko!"

AN1: I used bits and pieces of dialogue from Legend of Korra S2 Eps 7 & 8, AtLA Book1 Ep12, Book2 Ep17, and Book3 Ep6. Did I make Zuko OOC? I believe that almost dying and having memories of another life (one that is the complete opposite of his current self) suddenly crammed into his head would start changing him. Poll will be up soon about his dream in the next chapter. Poll will be left open for a week (July 5th) before I close it at 1pm PST, and write what y'all have decided.

AN2: Zuko's Phoenix Plume- 1. partly due to how deep the burn had gone into his hairline, they definitely would have had to shave that area to treat the wound...and since it would have looked uneven and not pretty on a prince, they shaved the rest of his head to match (except the plume). 2. Zuko's phoenix plume, or phoenix-tail, is a common hairstyle among the Sun Warriors. 3. He was put in charge of a ship full of seasoned veterans at THIRTEEN, so he needed to look as scary as he could in order to be taken seriously. I have to admit, I was kinda intimidated by his look. (Thank you royaltealovingkookiness for your explanation on Tumblr!)