I got something for you...

Recap: Angel and Buffy are miserable without one another. Angel is living a quiet life in Portland but he doesn't have any friends or anyone in his life. When Angel left he gave his silver chain to Buffy to remind her of him. Xander and Willow have persuaded Buffy to join them for a night at The Bronze and she has agreed to go although she doesn't really want to.

Thank you for coming back, I know the first 2 chapters have been slow but we're about to pick up pace a little bit and I can't wait for you to read it.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its original characters do not belong to me

Built Up Walls: Chapter 3: The Bronze

Willow
I have never seen Buffy like this before, she is so sad and miserable all the time and I am worried about her. She's not paying attention in school and is constantly daydreaming, about Angel I assume; she doesn't really talk anymore either. Physically she's there but emotionally she is completely somewhere else and I don't know how I'm supposed to help her get over this. I know as her best friend it is my duty to assist in matters of heartbreak but I don't know how to talk to her about this, she starts crying at the mention of Angel's name and I don't want to be the one that makes her cry. Buffy has become just a shell of a person and I'm scared that she is never going to get over this and it is just going to get worse... I don't know how it will get worse but what if it does?

Xander and I invited her to The Bronze tonight because we thought some time out of her bedroom might do her some good and although she agreed to go I don't think she really wants to. Xander is over Angel leaving already and thinks that Buffy is wasting her life thinking about him all the time but he doesn't understand, I know how much Buffy loves Angel and I knew how he felt about her. Getting over this kind of thing has to be difficult but I've never been through it so I don't know what will make it better. Her mom is worried about her too and is pushing for me and Xander to 'help'... if I knew how to make her stop feeling like this then I would do it.

Last night we thought some slaying might help her vent her emotions but it didn't. She just staked three vampires, dumped her weapons on Xander and went home. I went after her and I found her in her bedroom just looking at a picture she had of herself with Angel, she was crying so much and she looked liked she was in physical pain which worried me and I thought I might have to call her an ambulance or something but we hugged and she eventually cried herself to sleep. I broke my heart to see my best friend like this, especially Buffy.

Buffy was the strong one out of the three of us. She always knew what to do and she took on anything, she didn't cry or get upset and she was always there for others when they needed her. I feel bad because she does a great job at being there for people and cheering them up but Xander and I seem to be failing at that right now.

I knocked on Buffy's front door and her mom opened it, she gave me a sad small smile meaning that Buffy was still not any better. She let me in and just pointed to the stairs, meaning Buffy was in her bedroom. Where else was she going to be? Maybe Xander and I shouldn't have pushed going to The Bronze on her. I walked up the stairs to her bedroom and knocked lightly on her bedroom door, no one answered from the other side but I opened it slightly and peeked in the room.

Buffy was sitting on her bed and she had the silver chain Angel had left for her. She was playing with it in her hands; I don't think she had even noticed me. I walked into the bedroom and closed the door, making a bit of noise and she came out of her Angel trance.

"Hi Buffy," I said happily with a smile on my face.

"Hi Will," She replied miserably and put the silver chain down on her bed.

"Are you ready to go to The Bronze?" I asked her.

"I guess," She said with a shrug and got off her bed, she looked back at the chain, thinking about something but decided against whatever it was and picked up her bag.

"You should wear it," I stated.

"What?" She questioned.

"The chain, you should wear it if you want to. I can clip it on a smaller hook if you want so it fits you better," I told her, she turned back to look at the chain sitting on her bed again "Buffy we know that you are not going to get over Angel in one night so if you want to look at photos, wear his chain and wear the ring then you should. You should take this at your own pace," I explained.

Buffy picked up the chain and handed it to me, she turned around so I could put it on her and I put it on a smaller hook so it wasn't too big on her. She brought her hand up to touch it and smiled, thinking about Angel wearing it I think.

"It looks good on you." I complimented.

Buffy smiled at me, a real smile. It wasn't a big smile but it was a genuine smile so I'm gonna takes it.

Buffy
I don't know why I agreed to come here, I knew I wasn't going to have a good time and I was right. I appreciate the effort Xander and Willow have gone to tonight to try and cheer me up but I'm really just not in the mood for all of this. I just want to be alone right now and try to get over Angel in my own way, Willow and Xander just don't understand how I'm feeling right now and they can't relate to what it is that I'm feeling right now. I don't blame them for that but right now, I can't be the strong friend that I usually am and I can't help them with their own problems because I need to deal with this first.

"Buffy, come and dance with us," Xander said as he and Willow stood up from the table.

"No thanks," I replied "I'll just hang out here and keep the table safe," I told him.

"Buffy-"

"I'm fine Xander... just go and have fun," I said.

"We're just on the dance floor if you need us," Willow jumped in.

"Go." I told him them and shooed them away with my hands.

The Bronze is the worst place for me to be right now.

All around me there young couples all in love, they are smooching, dancing, laughing, talking and cuddling. All of the things that I used to do with Angel, before he left me, they all look so happy and I hope they all work out because I don't want anyone to feel what I'm feeling right now because it is the worst feeling in the world. It's not just the emotional pain but the physical pain it causes as well... I literally feel like my heart is about to be ripped out of my body all the time.

Everywhere I look I'm just reminded of Angel, how can one person (or vampire) cause so much happiness, sadness, love and anger in someone and make them feel all of them things at the same time?!I used to enjoy coming to The Bronze with Willow and Xander but now I just walk in the door and BAM, memories of Angel all over the place. In fact this table I'm sitting at right now, Angel and I have sat here together multiple times for countless hours.

"Hi," I jumped as a voice appeared next to me, I looked at whom the voice belonged to and saw a guy, in his late teens or very early 20s. He smiled kindly at me and indicated to the seat beside me.

"It's taken," I told him.

"Really?" He questioned as he looked around.

"My friends are dancing," I answered.

"Well surely they won't mind if I sit down and speak to you for a couple of minutes," He tried.

"They might not mind but I do," I was harsh and he seemed taken aback for a moment but then he sat down next to me anyway, he had some front "I don't mean to be rude," I started "But I really don't want to talk to anybody right now. I didn't even want to come out tonight so please just leave me alone," I finished.

"I can't help it. When I see a beautiful woman sitting alone who seems sad I need to cheer her up. I hate seeing women sad," He said.

"Like I said, I'm really not in the mood to talk to anybody right now," I sipped my drink and fought the urge to hit him.

"What's his name?" The boy asked.

"Who's name?"

"The name of the guy that owns that chain and has upset you," I realised I was playing with the chain around my neck, I let go of it instantly and turned to face this annoying guy "He must be stupid to upset you like this," He added.

"First of all, you don't know him and you don't know me. Secondly, I've already told you twice that I don't want to talk to anybody right now. Thirdly, I don't remember inviting you to sit down so it is rude of you to do so. Lastly, I suggest you leave before I kick your ass," I warned.

He stood up and raised his hands in the air as surrender.

"I was just trying to be friendly." He shook his head and walked away from the table.

I told them I didn't want to come to The Bronze tonight!

I spotted Willow and Xander dancing but Willow looked as if she was getting tired so I'm guessing they'll be back soon. I will wait for them to come and claim the table and then I am going to go home and get away from all of these loved up couples and weird guys. If one more person came over to me right now I think I might just hit them, no warning, just hit them. That stupid guy has annoyed me even more than what I was 10 minutes ago, why didn't he just listen to me when I told him I didn't want to talk to anybody?

The song changed to a slow song, Xander and Willow looked at each other awkwardly and rushed off the dance floor and came back to the table. Willow sat down beside me and Xander sat down on the other side of me, where creepy guy had just been sitting.

"I'm gonna take off," I stated as I started to stand.

"Buffy no," Willow cried.

"Just stay another hour and then we'll all go," Xander said.

"You two have fun. I just want to be alone right now, I know they say misery loves company but tonight that is not the case. I just want to go home, get into bed and ponder all of the reasons why Angel left me," I explained and got up grabbing my jacket.

"You gotta get over him Buff," Xander argued.

"I will... in my own time and in my own way," I told him.

"Do you want us to walk you home?" Willow asked.

"Honestly, just stay and have a good time." I replied.

I gave them a small wave and headed for the door. I turned around as I reached the door, I felt like someone was watching me but I didn't notice anybody. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I put my jacket on and headed out the door saying goodbye to the guy working on the door.

The alleyway was empty as the night was still early so pretty much everyone was inside, having the best night with their friends and girlfriends and boyfriends... yet here I was going home alone.

"It's dangerous being out on your own."

Dangerous, not for our Buffy... she can handle herself, can't she? I feel sorry for our poor Buffy. She is really struggling with this break up but then again, I don't think Angel is doing much better.

Thank you for reading this chapter, warning for the next chapter, the rape will take place.

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