Here we go...

Recap: Buffy is in hospital and has been writing in a diary about her thoughts and feelings. She feels very alone and that no one wants to talk to her or be around her. We found out that Buffy's attacker is a serial rapist and has attacked three girls previous to Buffy. Buffy wants to kill her attacker but is still in hospital. Buffy tells Willow she wishes Angel would come back not knowing Willow has a telephone number for him.

This story is turning out longer than I originally planned. I thought there was going to be about 10 chapters to this story but we're on number 6 already and I have no plan to slow down just yet so right now, I haven't got a clue where this is going and when it is going to end.

We're going to change perspective between Angel and Buffy a little bit during this chapter.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its original characters do not belong to me

Built Up Walls: Chapter 6: Angel

Angel
I have a feeling that there is something wrong but I don't know what. I woke up and something felt really off, I've checked the news but nothing is being reported that would help me, of course my mind went straight to Buffy. I started panicking about her and wondering if she was ok but if she wasn't Willow would have called me, she promised and I don't think Willow is a girl to back down from a promise. Maybe it was just me, maybe I want there to be a reason for me to go back to Buffy, a reason I can't say was just me being selfish and not being able to stay away. I am using all of the willpower I have to not drive back to Sunnydale and check in on Buffy, the last couple of days have been awful.

I haven't slept, I've been on edge, I'm not eating much and my mind is somewhere else entirely. I have Willow's telephone number so I could always ring her and just check in, can't I? No. I can't do that because if everything is ok she is going to worry about me and what I'm dealing with right now, I don't want her to concentrate on anything apart from Buffy right now. I need someone like Willow who is level headed and comforting to keep an eye on Buffy whilst I'm away.

A watched phone never rings, or so they say. I picked up the phone from my bed and was about to throw it against the wall when it started ringing.

"Hello," I answered quickly.

"Angel, its Willow,"

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"No. Everything is far from ok," She replied.

"What's happened? Is Buffy ok? Are you ok?"

"You need to come back to Sunnydale. I can't tell you why over the phone, it's not a phone conversation but please... come back here as soon as you can. Buffy really needs you right now, you are the only person that can help her," She explained in a pained voice.

"Willow, tell me what is wrong with Buffy," I said.

"It's not a conversation for the phone Angel, believe me," She replied.

"Please Willow... I just need to know," I pleaded with her. I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone, she was debating telling me but obviously felt like she either couldn't say the words or it was too awful to tell me "Please," I pleaded again.

"Buffy was attacked," She told me.

"Was it vampire or some other kind of demon?" I asked.

"Neither, it was a human," She stated "Buffy is in a really bad place right now and none of us know what to do to help her. She is shutting us out and shutting herself down. We're all really worried about her and we think the only person who can get through to her and help her, is you," She explained.

"I don't understand. It was a human that attacked her? Surely she could have fought him or her off easily enough. I've seen her take down demons double her size no problem,"

"Buffy was drugged and followed and when she was out of it she was r... ra...raped... she was raped,"

What? I don't understand. Why would someone do that to Buffy? Where was she? How did this happen? Why was she on her own? Where was everyone else?

"I'll be back by sundown tomorrow."

I ended the call before Willow could say anything else and threw the phone down onto the bed.

Someone raped Buffy... drugged and raped her... surely it was a mistake.

Buffy
Dear...

I feel like if I'm going to express myself to you, I should give you a name... what about Liam? It is Angel's birth name, a name I actually really like but he refuses to go by it. He said he doesn't feel like he deserves to go by Liam anymore after everything he has done. From now on, I will call you Liam.

Dear Liam...

I am being freed from my hospital and room and I am finally allowed to go back home and I have never been more excited to get home. I can't wait to get home and get into my own bed and have my own space back. I hate being in this hospital room because there are constantly people coming in and out, I don't have any privacy and after everything that has happened privacy is exactly what I need right now. I know my mom will be constantly checking in on me but one person is better than nine people around me all the time.

I was going to go out tonight so I could go looking for this guy and stop him before he could do this to another girl but I was still sore from the first attack. My whole body was aching and my head feels awful, I'm told that the headache is due to the drug I was given, basically a hangover of some kind. Anyway, because of how I'm feeling I decided against going out tonight but I'm going out there tomorrow. I don't want this to happen to another girl and I will never be able to forgive myself if I find out that he did this to someone else after me.

I promise I will get him for this, even if it is the last thing I do.

Looking back I feel stupid for not even trying to get his name, I know what he looks like but I have nothing else to go on. I don't know if he has a vehicle, I don't know his name, I don't know how old he is... I can guess but I can't be sure. I feel so stupid. I can't believe I didn't even notice that there was something in my drink, I shouldn't have left on my own because if I had allowed Willow and Xander to come with me like they had wanted, he wouldn't have attacked me. I shouldn't have even left, I should have stayed at The Bronze with them because when the effects of the drug started to work they would have taken care of me and would've gotten me home safely.

You always hear about this kind of thing happening but you never think it will happen to you. Never in a million years did I think something like this was going to happen to me and I fight vampires and demons for a living.

How did I allow this to happen?

I put the diary in my overnight back and did another check to make sure I hadn't left anything behind and I saw my jacket on the back of the chair, the jacket I was wearing when I was attacked. I reached out to grab it but then pulled my hand away, I don't think I want that jacket anymore... it's a reminder. I thought the police were going to take it away for evidence like they did the rest of my clothes but they didn't. Maybe I should just leave it here and let the hospital destroy it, I don't want to even look at it ever again.

The door to my room opened and my mom came in, she smiled and held on to my discharge papers.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked.

"Yeah, I need to get out of here," I replied and started to leave the room, my mom held out her hand to take the overnight bag from me "I'm capable of holding my own bag," I stated and walked out of the room.

"Buffy you need to take it easy," She said as she fell into step beside me.

"I need to get away from this hospital." I argued.

Angel
I pulled up outside Buffy's house and looked at it, the lights were on and according to Willow, Buffy was released from hospital today so she was at home. I saw her mom walking past one of the windows and I sighed at the sight of her. I was going to have to face Joyce before seeing Buffy, I understand that Joyce must be really pissed off at me for breaking up with Buffy but maybe she would understand my reasons for ending the relationship, we didn't have a future together, as much as I wish we did. I can't give Buffy the future that she deserves and I want to keep her safe or try to keep her safer.

I got out of the car and walked towards the front door; I raised my hand to ring the door bell and brought it away again. Should I even be here? Willow thinks I can help Buffy but I don't know if that is true. The last time I saw Buffy I got the feeling she hated me and it was going to be a good thing that we wasn't going to see each other again. I know I brought it on myself by leaving but I still love her and I always will, I just don't know if I'm the best person to help her right now. I don't even know what to say to her if I'm honest. What can I say?

I have to see her for my own eyes and see that she is ok. I raised my hand and rung the doorbell, Joyce opened the door and she did not look happy to see me.

"Angel," She shook her head "What the hell are you doing here?" She asked me.

"I heard what happened to Buffy. I came to see her," I answered.

"I don't think that's a good idea," She replied.

"You hate me," I stated "I don't blame you but I promise you that I love her and I want to help her, I need her to be ok," I added.

"She has been hurt and upset enough for a lifetime," She tried to close the door but I grabbed it "Angel," She warned.

"Please, give me an hour to talk to her," I tried "Half an hour... if Buffy doesn't want to see me then I'll leave and I promise I won't come here again but I really just want to see her and do whatever I can to help her," I pleaded.

"I've just finished making her dinner, you can bring it up to her," Joyce stated "Come in," I walked into the house and closed the door behind me.

Bring the dinner up to Buffy, which means she's upstairs in her bedroom. I guess I'm not that surprised, Buffy has always seen her bedroom as a safe space for her.

I followed Joyce into the kitchen and she handed me a plate and some cutlery to bring up to her.

"Where are you staying and how long are you going to be here?" Joyce asked.

"I'm not staying anywhere right now. I just came straight here and I don't know how long I'll be here. If Buffy doesn't want to see me and doesn't want my help then I'll leave straight away but if she does... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it and I'll figure it out then." I explained.

Joyce turned her back to me so I'm guessing that was the conversation over with. I made my way out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards Buffy's bedroom, if I had a beating heart it would be going crazy right now. I have no idea what reaction I will get when she sees me but I'm here and I'll take whatever she throws at me.

I knocked on her bedroom door and waited for a reply.

"Come in." Her voice said from the other side.

I opened the door and walked in.

What kind of reception is Angel going to get from Buffy? He got quite a cold greeting from Joyce. Buffy told Willow she wanted Angel here and now he is, is that a good thing?

Thank you for reading, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter.

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