The words hit Hailey like a punch in the gut. Her breath caught in her throat, leaving her chest to burn with the need for oxygen, her body turned to ice and she felt her heart sink. Dead? Of all the things she had considered being the reason for her mothers frantic calls, that was nowhere on the list. It wasn't even remotely an option. But as her mothers voicemail replayed in her ear once again, she knew it was true. Finally her chest gave a heave, unclenching her throat as she inhaled a sharp breath. Her eyes met Jay's and she blinked a few times, taking him in. She could see him, feel his hand over hers, hear his voice saying her name...but all she could do was stare. And even then she wasn't fully sure he was actually there. Or maybe it was her that was long gone, trapped in some void where reality had snapped. He said her name again, louder this time, more concerned. Any other day she'd be having a totally different response to the feel of his hand over hers but in this moment she barely even noticed it. Hailey shut the phone off, setting it on the table in front of her but keeping her hand firmly clasped over it as if she let go she might lose touch with everything. Jay's voice broke through her trance again, squeezing her hand tightly to draw her attention back to him. She met his eyes once, blinking a few times as the fog seemed to clear around him.

"He's dead."

She whispered, the words falling from her lips so softly she wasn't sure he would even hear.

"Hailey?"

Jay asked, rubbing her hand with his thumb. The sensation drew her eyes down to their joined hands and before she could process any of it, she pulled her hand away from his.

"I...sorry. I have to go."

She stated, grabbing her phone and quickly standing from the table. Hailey darted from their little corner of the bar, bolting for the door and hoping the cool night air would help soothe the burning in her lungs. Jay was right behind her, crashing out into the street lights right beside her. His face was frantic as he searched hers and she wasn't sure what he would even be seeing right now. Shock? Probably. Confusion? Definitely. Sadness? Maybe. It was the last one that threw her off the most. How could she be sad over the death of a man she hated? A man who made her childhood a horrible experience, a man who would beat her mother so badly that she would be trapped inside the house for weeks, unable to leave for fear of someone seeing the marks. Because, Hailey told herself, there were good times too. Times where her father wasn't an abusive drunk, when he would show her the love and affection she so desperately craved, when he would make her laugh and forget about all the bad things he had done. But Hailey had shoved those few and far between good memories down long ago, focusing only on the bad. The reality.

They stood in front of the vehicles now and Hailey blinked in surprise, not remembering the journey there. Jay loomed over her, his face still dripping with concern, his eyes desperately searching hers.

"Hailey...talk to me."

His words so closely resembled those of her mothers that she was taken aback for a moment. She looked up at him, finally truly meeting his eyes for the first time.

"He's dead. My dad, he died."

Somehow repeating the words felt empty and meaningless, as if it was just some rehearsed line with no real emotion behind it. Hailey wasn't sure what she should be feeling at this moment but the numbness that was quickly creeping over her surely wasn't the right answer. Jay's eyes flashed shock and he looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words.

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

She told him, stepping away and quickly moving to get into her Jeep. Jay had taken a step after her, maybe to stop her, to make her talk, but she simply couldn't right now. Hailey needed to be anywhere but here right now, anywhere but under his concerned looks and unwavering support. She started her engine, shifting into drive and racing out of the parking lot. She made it two blocks before she caught a red light, halting her escape. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as she counted each breath she took, somehow needing to remind herself of the task each time. The numbness increased as she could feel herself slipping out of reality, becoming but a shell as her body went into shutdown mode. The drive home was a blur and before she really even knew it she was standing under the hot, steamy water rushing out of her showerhead. Hailey went through the motions of cleansing herself and then stepped back out into the steamy bathroom, wrapping a towel around herself before padding into the bedroom. She pulled out a baggy t-shirt, two sizes too big for her small frame and tugged on some boyshorts to sleep in. She crawled into bed, pulling the sheets around her and feeling anything but tired. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand beside her and she forced in a breath before picking it up. Just Jay, Jay she could handle...from a distance. She had to read his text twice before she fully comprehended what he had written. Just a simple message but she knew it was laced with worry.

Hey. If you need anything, to talk or whatever..just let me know. My phone is always on.

She swallowed hard, feeling an unfamiliar lump in her throat as she pictured his face. She should call him, talk to him, let him in and apologize for bolting. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so empty and alone. But then again, maybe that's how she should be feeling. She opened the text again and typed out a quick reply.

Thanks Jay. I'm good.

It was a lie and they would both know it. But it was all she could currently muster. Hailey set the phone on the nightstand beside her and slid down into the bed, her head resting against the pillows as she stared up at the blank ceiling. She traced the patterns and shadows with her eyes, knowing it would be a sleepless night.

Morning came and with it a pounding headache. Hailey wasn't sure at what point her body had finally given in to sleep but she felt anything but well rested. With a groan she rolled out of bed and padded into her bathroom, raiding her cabinet for some medicine to ease the ache. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she groaned again. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, tangled from her shower the night before, and her eyes held dark bags below them. Hailey wandered back into the bedroom, grabbing her phone from the nightstand before sitting on the edge of her bed. To her surprise, the screen was blank and free from any messages. She let out a huff and stood back up from the bed, deciding she had probably find something to eat with the meds she just took. Her kitchen cupboards yielded limited options so she settled for an old pop-tart and some orange juice. Sitting at the island, picking away at her makeshift meal, she was startled by a knock on the door. After briefly debating just ignoring whoever it was, she got up and went to answer the door, not surprised by who she found on the other side.

"Sorry…"

Jay said sheepishly, his eyes glued to her face after a quick glance at her appearance. Hailey stepped aside to let him in, realizing then that she still wore just the t-shirt and boyshorts that she had slept in. Given the circumstances she couldn't be bothered by that detail and instead turned and made her way back to the kitchen. Jay followed after her, looking hesitant and still dripping with worry. His eyes took in her breakfast and there was a slight grimace on his face when she met his gaze again.

"Hailey...how are you doing?"

He asked quietly, trying to give her a reassuring smile. Hailey attempted to return his smile, to give him some reassurance of his own, but she knew it fell flat.

"I'm good Jay."

The lie fell so easily from her lips she caught herself feeling nervous about it for just a split second before he quickly called her out on it.

"Come on Hails, this is me...talk to me."

He leaned forward on her counter, once again reaching his hand out towards hers but stopping just before he made contact. Her eyes followed his hand as he moved, feeling herself slipping away again as she became lost in thought. Jay was patient and remained silent as he watched her face closely.

"I just…I don't know what to feel. I'm just...it's numbing. I feel numb."

Her eyes burned with the rush of emotion but she quickly blinked them away. Jay gave her another small smile, his fingers tapping against her counter nervously as if he wanted to touch her hand but was too afraid to do so.

"I get it, kinda. I know there's way more to your story but I didn't have a good relationship with my dad either. And numb is the perfect way to describe it. It does go away eventually…"

Jay watched as her eyes threatened to spill tears once again and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug and tell her everything would be okay. But that wasn't them, that wasn't what they did. So instead, he sat quietly and let her think.

"Yeah."

She breathed out, voice thick with emotion. She let out a huff of air and ran her hands through her tangled hair.

"Have you talked to your mom yet?"

Jay pressed carefully, not wanting to push her over the edge. Hailey let out a humorless chuckle and shook her head.

"No. I guess I should though huh?"

It came out as a question, though she already knew the answer. She pushed herself away from the counter, standing and watching as Jay followed suit. He followed her to the door, picking up on the fact their visit was over for now. Jay lingered for a moment, standing closer to her than he normally would, still fighting the urge to pull her into a hug.

"Hailey...I meant it, if you need anything. Just call okay?"

Before he could stop himself, his arm lifted just enough that his fingers could brush the side of her hand, trailing a quick pattern before letting it drop away just as fast. Hailey smiled up at him, a sad look on her face. Her eyes swam with unshed tears once again and Jay never wanted to leave her.

"Thanks Jay."

She whispered, dropping her face as the tears threatened to spill. Jay gave her a nod before pulling open her door and stepping out into the cool Chicago air. Hailey shut the door behind him, her heart sinking slightly when moments later she heard the rumble of his truck starting. She turned and made her way upstairs, sitting on the edge of her bed and fumbling with the phone between her hands. A few deep breaths later she finally dialed the number and felt her heart sinking even further with each ring. A voice came across the other end of the phone and Hailey felt herself start to crumble almost instantly.

"Hey mom…"