Final chapter

Recap: Angel and Buffy were in her room together but as the sun came up Angel went down to the basement. Giles paid Buffy a visit demanding to know if it was her who killed him and she denied it. Giles thought that Buffy was lying but Angel covered for her and so did Joyce. Joyce told Giles that Buffy and Angel were home all night and she checked in on them. Angel told Giles that it was his last night with Buffy before leaving but that was the first Buffy had heard about him leaving. She wanted to go with Angel but he told her that he wanted her to stay home and finish high school. He agreed that they could stay in contact but he couldn't come back until he had got something sorted.

This is the final chapter of this story so I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has supported me and this story on its journey. I appreciate all of you more than you could know thank you for the follows, favourites and reviews and thank you for just taking the time to read this story. It really means the world to me so... thank you!

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its original characters do not belong to me

Built Up Walls: Chapter 15: Goodbye

Buffy
Angel would be waking up soon and I was dreading it, it means that his time to leave is coming closer and the last thing I want is to lose Angel again. Getting over him was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. It was so painful, raw and sad but then he came back when I really needed him and although he said he was only staying until I was 'ok' again, I really didn't think he was going to leave again. I thought I had Angel for good but now he's just going to walk out of my life again and I'm going to have to get over him again. It would be easier for me if I knew why he was leaving but he is being so vague about it all, all he said was that he had something to chase up but he wouldn't say what. I wanted to go and help him... anything to be with him again. I really don't want to lose him a second time but this time he is giving me that hope that we'll see each other again and this time I am going to be able to stay in contact with him but I still don't want him to go.

I woke up a couple of hours ago and I have been quietly looking through his things, yes I know I shouldn't have, to find out if there was any clues as to where he might be going or what he might doing but nothing. He had a piece of paper with an address on it in Virginia but after doing a little research on the address it was just a house where an old lady had lived until she passed away from natural causes last year. I looked up the elderly woman's family but I couldn't see any possible connection to Angel or why he might have the address. The address was the only thing that I had found but I'm hoping when he wakes up he might be more forthcoming now that he has had time to sleep on it.

Clearly whatever it is that has Angel leaving must be important to him because I know he wouldn't just leave for any reason. I wasn't the only one who suffered when he left last time; I know he took it hard too, we were in love and we were with each other and relied on each other and then he was just gone. I remember the pain in his voice when he said he was leaving the first time. I remember the look in his eyes and I know he was just as heartbroken as I was so for him to put us both through this again, it must be for something really important. I just can't figure out what the something is and it is driving me insane, I hate mysteries and right now this is the biggest mystery that I want to solve.

I need to vent before I go insane!

Dear Liam,

Angel wants to leave again but this time he's leaving to chase something and I want to go with him, we work better when we're together but he told me to stay here and he would go on his own. I have been trying to figure out why he wouldn't want me to go with him but every scenario I come up with in my head just gets worse. I even thought that the thing he had to chase was another woman and that's why he didn't want me to go with him, is that insane? I don't think Angel would cheat on me but then again we're not exactly together. He came back to help me through what happened to me and although I'm not fully mentally recovered, I don't know if I ever will be, I appreciate him coming back more than he could ever know. It just goes to show that he must still love me and he wants to be there for me but whatever this 'thing' is it is getting in the way.

A creak made me look up and I saw Angel... he was dressed and he had a sad expression etched across his features.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," He apologised.

"It's ok." I replied as I closed my diary and stuffed it under my pillow "Did you sleep ok?" I asked as I got up from the bed and stood in front of him.

"I always sleep better when you're beside me," He commented.

"Me too,"

"Buffy I don't want to drag this out or make it worse so I came up here to say goodbye. I want to get a head start on this so the sooner I go the better," He said and reached into his back pocket and handed me a book, Persuasion by Jane Austen, my favourite book. I opened the cover and saw Angel's phone number scrawled on the inside "If you need me, just call," He said.

"I always need you," I stated.

"Please... don't make this harder," He was pleading and I felt a single tear slip down my face. Angel reached out and wiped the tear away with the bad of his thumb, he had small smile playing on his lips as he studied my face but you could see the sadness in his eyes "Don't cry," He pleaded again softly.

"Please don't go,"

"I have to," He said.

"Why?" I asked "Please just tell me what is so important that you have to leave me again," Angel shook his head lightly and turned his gaze away from mine.

"I'm working on something," He answered.

"Tell me," I demanded.

"I can't... not yet," He said.

I put the book down on my bed and put my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at me, his eyes met mine again and he looked like he was about to cry. Another tear slid down my cheek at the thought of Angel being so sad, I've never seen him cry, I don't want to see him cry.

"I might be able to help you," I told him softly.

"You can't," He stated "I wish you could but you can't. I'll be back when I've got what I need... this isn't goodbye," He added.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"I don't know but I promise I'll be in touch. You have my phone number and I have yours... it will be different this time. If you need me all you have to do is call. I can't promise to turn up at your door the next night but I will be on the other end of the phone to listen," He explained.

"Don't go," I pleaded again as more tears started fall down my cheeks.

Angel brought his hands up to my wrists and moved my hands away from his cheeks; he placed a small kiss on my cheek and took a step back from me. He was really doing this, he was leaving again, he can't do this to me again.

"I love you," I cried, hoping that hearing the words might prompt him to stay "I love you Angel and I am begging you not to leave me," I told him.

"I love you too Buffy."

Angels hand let go of mine and he stepped back towards the door, he gave me one more look and then turned his back and walked out the bedroom door. He closed it behind him and I fell down onto the floor in a heap and started crying uncontrollably. I heard Angel's footsteps go down the stairs, the front door open and then the front door close.

He had really gone again.

I didn't think he would actually leave again. A part of me thought that he would actually stay if I told him I loved him, if I begged him, I really thought he might stay. Why wouldn't he stay for me? Wasn't I enough for him? Wasn't being with me enough reason to stay?

Angel
How did I manage to walk away? When Buffy was crying, pleading me to stay and telling me she loved me I wanted to tell her that it was ok and I wasn't going anywhere but Buffy is the reason I'm going. I know she wouldn't understand which is why I didn't tell her where I was going and because she would want to come with me and she would have her hopes up and I didn't want that. What if this cure doesn't even exist or even worse, if it does exist and not work? I couldn't do that to Buffy, especially after everything she has been through already. Leaving was hurting her but it would be worse if she came with me so for now I am going to do my best to stick to my plan and go find this cure.

Since regaining my soul I have wanted a cure but for Buffy I want it even more. I want to be able to give her everything that she wants and deserves from life; marriage, children, grandchildren... a family and I can't do any of that whilst I'm a vampire. I have never wanted a cure more. I want to get back to Buffy as soon as possible and start a human life with her. I want to be able to go on a vacation with her or go for a walk in the park on a summer's day... I want us to be a normal human couple. Buffy is my reason for pushing on because if it wasn't for her I probably would have given up a long time ago.

Who would've thought that The Slayer would be the one to my heart?

My phone started ringing, I looked at the screen and Buffy's name was flashing. I sighed and thought about not answering it, I've only been gone 15 minutes, this is hard enough for both of us as it is without her pleading me to come back.

"Buffy," I breathed when I answered.

"I just want to say I'm sorry," She said.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I asked in panic as I hit the brakes on the car. Please don't tell me she is about to do something stupid "Buffy, what are you sorry for?" I asked her.

"For pleading you to stay," She replied and I let out a huge sigh of relief "I know leaving isn't easy for you, I saw it all over your face but I just don't want to lose you again. We have lost so much time with each other already and I don't want to lose anymore," She told me but I could hear her trying to hold back her sobs.

"Believe me Buffy I am doing this for you. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it is and when I can tell you, you will understand," I replied "I don't lie to you Buffy," I added.

"I know," She said "Please make sure you call and keep me updated. I worry about you and I know you said that if I ever need you then all I have to do is call but the same goes for you. If you need me, just call and I will get to you as quickly as I can. I am always here for you Angel, no matter what, please just remember that," She explained.

"I have to go," I stated as I could feel myself about to cry and I don't want to cry over the phone to her because she will plead me to come back and I will probably give in.

"Ok," She replied "I love you,"

"I love you too Buffy," I took a deep breath "Goodbye."

I ended the call and dropped the phone down on the passenger seat. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down, knowing that Buffy has accepted this and won't fight me on it anymore is better; it makes this just a little bit easier. It's still hard and I wish there was another way but there isn't. I held back my tears and once I had myself under control again I started driving again.

This won't be the last time I'm in this town and it definitely won't be the last time I see Buffy Summers.

Angel left? How many of you thought that he might stay this time? To be honest for a while, I thought he was going to stay too! I wasn't sure how I wanted to end it but this is what I went with. I hope you like the ending and I hope it gives you a bit of closure on this story!

Thank you to everyone for taking the time out of their busy and chaotic lives to read and support, I love you all very much and I hope you will come back to my page and maybe read some other stories I have posted.

What a day to end this story! Today is my birthday but it is also the last post I am going to make of 2020! I have got so much planned for next year but I'm going to take the rest of this month off just to enjoy time with my family and take a time out. It has been one hell of a year, I know this year hasn't been great for many people so I send my love to all of you and wish you all a happy and amazing 2021. I will be back on Wednesday January 6th 2021 with 2 brand new stories so I hope to se you all then. Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

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