As always, a big thank you to my new bro, JenamTheBrave, whose help is very precious to me in improving the quality of this translation.
Chapter 5: extra! extra! read all about it !
The day after this strange expedition was very calm; the two groups were very secretive with their familias and friends about yesterday's events. But the two goddesses quickly forgot about the details when they saw the carts of the Guild unloading the money for the drop item sold the night before right on their front door. In short, the day was devoted to getting over this as quickly as possible.
But unfortunately, this could not last, for a dark and trolling force was working from the shadows. Our brave adventurers therefore had the day to rest, and the following night was very calm, but in the early morning, terror was unleashed...
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Across the city, strange stone birds roamed everywhere and in all neighborhoods, dropping strange bundles of sheets like so many paper bombs. In less than an hour, the city was completely invaded by these strange newspapers. Obviously, several of them had fallen in the gardens, at Loki and Hestia familias'respective places. As good Deusdas they were, they could not refrain their curiosity, and they unfolded the newspapers to read their contents. Although they were not in the same place, their reactions were still perfectly synchronized.
"What the hell is this bullshit!"
And so their first instinct was to rush towards each other's home. This caused them to meet somewhere halfway, in the middle of a street. And it was there, before the dumbfounded eyes of many people, including several who also kept these strange tabloids, that Hestia and Loki cursed each other in unison.
"SHORTY / FLATTY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! " They said, each raising their own copy of the newspaper.
Orario may not have had any social media, but since the city was bustling none the less, to the point of being considered the center of the world, it turned out that the information could go quite viral indeed. Very quickly, the contents of the newspaper were on almost everyone's lips. But what could be these articles about?
Well, various extremely crasstabloid-style topics, which were accompanied by extremely realistic pictures of the two groups who had faced the trials of the golem. So realistic that you could have thought you were there. And better believe that none of them was spared.
THE ADVENTURERS' SECRET PAPERS
Scandal! Shocking revelations on Riveria Ljos Alf! Is Nine Hell a cougar? Little Rookie: latest victim or the start of a great passion?
All of that came with a close-up picture of that awkward moment when Riveria forced a very passionate kiss on Bell.
Vanargand like you've never seen before! Does Eternal+Shadow love bad boys?
Underneath the title, a picture of Bete cornering Mikoto against the wall and playing with one of the samurai's locks of hair the angle of the image made the moment look quite steamy. It seemed that absolutely everything could be taken out of context.
In the privacy of Finn Deimne. Did the Braver finally find his soulmate? Check out these pictures of an idyllic married life!
This time a picture of a beaming Finn, kneeling in front of Lili in a pink apron accompanied this raunchy title. Another choice of pictures could have hardly made this more romantic,
Surprising revelations! Is the Sword Princess attracted by pretty oriental ladies? The secret of the failures of so many suitors finally revealed!
And just below that, the image of Aiz, lying with her head on Haruhime's lap, being pampered by the latter. Her face showed a relaxed expression and an almost blissful smile that the general public would generally nevere see hersport.
The famous Hiryute sisters' secret passion for cutesy dances! Stay tuned, for their next show!
To illustrate this title, a few pictures of Tiona and Tione during their dance number, with snapshots of their cutest poses; totally the opposite of their image of fierce Amazoness.
Manly guys doing manly things! Do some adventurers prefer to stay among men? The recent destruction of the entertainment district in cause?
And there, of course, Gareth and Welf showed themselves, bare-chested, taking rather odd poses.
Exclusive pictures of Lefiya Viridis! Thousand Elf like you'll never see anywhere else!
Adding to that was literally an entire double page spread of images of Lefiya, in all the awkward outfits the golem had made her wear.
Suffice to say that with all that, there was plenty to talk about for a lot of people. Between the entertainment-loving gods, and the many gawkers, all of these spicy stories about such prominent familias could only become the subject of many very lively conversations. And the problem was also that the protagonists of these torrid tales had got their hands on these newspapers.
At the Loki Familia mansion.
One werewolf was fuming at the bundle of papers he was holding in his hand.
The fucking thing wants to make me look like a fucking romantic! Who wrote this shit!
For their part, two Amazoness were not feeling much better than him, each of them redder than the other, especially considering the amused looks of some of their comrades. They suddenly had the feeling that their pride had been trampled on by a whole herd of Goliaths.
In the captain's office, the topic was also at hand and Finn had a somewhat tense smile as he put the newspaper back on his desk.
Now that's unfortunate. Isn't it Gareth?
Indeed, it is problematic. the dwarf replied, looking uncomfortable. Although perhaps part of this was due to Riveria's somewhat blank stare, whose morale seemed to be pretty low.
A cougar ... do I look so old that I am called a cougar? I'm not even a hundred years old, that's young for an elf ...
For the past two days, her deepest wish had been to bury this story in the depths of her memory. Thinking back, kissing Bell Cranel hadn't been her worst experience in life, she might even admit that his adorable little bunny's face could melt her heart, if she let herself go. But getting caught up in something like this was particularly painful for her elven pride. Not to mention that, strangely, Aiz seemed to sulk at her ever since, which saddened her.
Elsewhere in the house, as she was going about her business quietly, Anakitty discovered Lefiya around the corner of a hallway and the elf was in a strange state. She had fallen to her knees, with a glassy-eyed thousand-yard stare, a faint trickle of drool at the corners of her lips, and her body trembling lightly to the rhythm of a strange nervous giggle. And in her hand, the now infamous newspaper, open to the double page dedicated to her.
By the gods! Raul, go get Loki quickly!
What's going on? he asked, a little panicked by the urgent tone of the cat girl.
Lefiya is broken!
In the streets of the city.
Mikoto, out for a morning errand, was holding the newspaper in her hand, flushed with shame. And to make matters worse, she had to cross paths with Takemikazuchi, her old god with whom she was still in love, precisely at that moment. Who, of course had the wad of demonic newspaper in his hand.
Ho, Mikoto! Well, you hid your game well after all. So, the Vanargand, eh? It's an… original choice, are you sure this man would be a good match for you? Well, you are an adult and old enough to make your own choices, so I won't judge you and I support you with all my heart.
He completed his sentence with a pat on the shoulder of his adopted daughter and continued on his way as if nothing had happened. Taken aback by the god's speech, the samurai girl had no time to react and turned around a few seconds too late.
No… Master Take… wait… That's not what you think at all, She tried to say in a weak, uncertain voice.
Elsewhere in town, it was Welf, also out early, who had just met Hephaestus, his beloved goddess, who also kept the destructive newspaper and looked particularly embarrassed. The blacksmith goddess, whose only eye was usually so proud and determined, now looked like a teenage girl in love who had just suffered a terrible heartbreak.
Welf! So… uh… you… you actually prefer the company of muscular men, don't you?
She felt stupid, after everything that had happened during Ares's attack, the events with Welf's father and their conversation after this; she had probably been imagining things all this time. Maybe her former member was just referring to the respect he had for her. Yes, that had to be it and that would explain a lot of things.
I have… I have work to do, sorry!
The goddess turned back, a tear in the corner of her only visible eye. The blacksmith fell to his knees, as if the world had just collapsed. Reaching out a hand, he desperately tried to make himself heard.
No! Lady Hephaestus, come back! I swear that is a terrible misunderstanding!
For their part, Loki and Hestia were still in the middle of the street, yelling at each other and calling each other names, as was common between them. Right now they were very busy blaming each other.
At the Hestia Familia mansion, the situation was strangely calm. Lili, still shocked by all this madness and this so-called marital life people said she had with another than her beloved master Bell, was currently in the Haruhime's arms, the only one relatively spared by this story. She was giving her friend a big hug to try and console her, and cheer her up. She would have done the same for Bell, but the rabbit had preferred to lock himself in his room, where he was in a fetal position on his bed, his gaze blank, his mind torn between the embarrassment he was feeling now by the fact that Aiz had seen him kissed by another woman and a strange thumbs-up image of his grandfather congratulating him on his good job. In short, a complicated situation.
In the home of Hermes Familia, the god was putting on his hat, striking a cool and mysterious pose, before speaking in his most serious voice.
Asfi, I must leave for a most important matt...
But he didn't have time to finish his sentence when his captain grabbed him unceremoniously by the scarf and propelled him into the nearest chair. She then lifted her leg and her heel violently hit the chair between Hermes's thighs, very close from her god's "little traveler". With her dominant position and her steely-eyed glare, she immediately made it clear who was in charge. Hermes often annoyed Asfi with his teasing, but he rarely saw her in a rage, which was best avoided, so he was very obedient.
Oh no! You're not going anywhere! Not before explaining to me why our familia's symbolis at the bottom of that abominable trashy rag! she said, literally smashing the devastating newspaper on his face.
But the traveling god, was now obsessed with a single thought: finding a way to get away as quickly as possible. If Asfi didn't kill him, soon Hestia and Loki would take care of it.
To be continued…