Chapter 4: There Are Two Kinds of Wars

Children were running around, chasing each other through the streets. They looked unbothered, like little birds flying in the wind, feeling freedom for the first time.

It was early in the morning for Arthdal citizens, and just about two hours into the beginning of a workday for most slaves. Tanya liked visiting the hardstone workshop at this hour because it was fun to disrupt the schedule of the workshop owner and because the children ran fastest in the mornings.

She smiled, watching two boys wrestle playfully at the side of the street. Her gaze swept over to Yangcha who was also following the kids' movements with his eyes. She wondered what he was thinking as he watched the children. Could he feel remorse, having caught hundreds of slaves, having killed even hundreds more of their families?

A yawn interrupted her train of thoughts, a wave of exhaustion following close behind. She didn't catch a lot of sleep last night, as she had stayed up until late, Eunseom's words—no, thoughts—from yesterday haunting her into her sleep.

"I hate this place. I want to get out of here."

Even now, she couldn't help repeating the words over and over in her mind, unable to let go of them. For some reason, his words had cut her deep, like a knife. Eunseom wanted to leave. They had just reunited, and he was thinking about leaving her again.

For the past year, she had dreamed of the day they'd meet again. With Eunseom back at her side, there would be hope. Together, they'd find a way to bring Arthdal down and return happiness to their people. Maybe she had also imagined spending many happy moments with him: catching up over long conversations, comforting each other, and perhaps even initiating what she had wanted from him all along but had hesitated to reciprocate in Iark.

Those fantasies had kept her going this whole time. But Eunseom didn't want the same thing, and it shattered all the fantasies in one swoop.

A laughing kid ran by, pulling Tanya out of her thoughts. She shook her head at herself. It happened again. Since Eunseom had woken up, she was barely focusing on her duties anymore. If she didn't want her efforts so far to be in vain, she needed to pull herself together.

Two more children passed her, chasing after the first kid. The smile returned to her face. The children reminded her of what she had to accomplish.

"At this rate, she'll free all slaves of Arthdal," she heard a familiar voice to her left. "She's more cunning than anyone gives her credit for. While everyone else is busy with the war, she slowly wins over the people and dujumsaengs. They might become more loyal to her than Tagon."

She turned around, smiling at Yangcha, hoping to catch him off guard. "Do you think I'll succeed?"

Yangcha's eyes widened. He should be used to it by now, but it was kind of adorable that she could still get him all flustered from time to time.

Although she despised the Daekan warriors for all they had done, she was glad Yangcha had returned from war. Most of the higher-up Daekan warriors remained on the battlefield, but Yangcha had returned together with Saya—Eunseom.

Yangcha stared ahead, not meeting her eyes. She didn't know if he was making himself stop thinking or if her ability stopped working, but she didn't hear any more of his thoughts. How boring.

Still, she couldn't help wondering. Was she as cunning as he thought?

She was proud of her accomplishments so far. After many attempts to persuade Tagon, she had managed to reduce labor hours and conditions of the slaves in Arthdal. Slowly but surely, she wanted to free all of them, until the word dujumsaeng was forgotten in time. She made sure to hold speeches fortnightly to make people get used to her presence. One day, she'd attain their loyalty and love and teach them about the wrongdoings of Arthdal, so that eventually, they would follow her instead of Tagon. But until she got there, it was still a long way.

The children continued playing for a while longer, then were escorted back to the workshop—because they were still slaves, as much as Tanya wanted to pretend otherwise.

After she watched them return to their prison, she and Yangcha set out for the next prison on their schedule: the Fortress of Fire. She hoped Eunseom was awake, as she was earlier than usual.

When they arrived at the courtyard of the fortress, Tanya's attention was drawn to a group of people talking animatedly amongst each other. There were Daekan warriors, guards, and scribes of the Hae Tribe amongst them. It wasn't an unusual sight. These people loved to gossip, but today they looked exceptionally excited.

Tanya walked closer, curious to see what the uproar was about.

They appeared to be surrounding someone. Someone with curly hair and a very guilty look on his face—once he saw Tanya approaching.

What was Eunseom doing here?

One of the higher-ranked guards—was his name Gilseon?—said to Eunseom, "I must say, the war has toughened you up. In my eyes, you looked a bit too prim and proper before."

Another warrior Tanya remembered as the overbearing kind of man said, "Right, now you look like one of us!" He went to touch Eunseom's hair, frowning at it. "What happened to the hair, though? Have these Ago dujumsaengs cut it off or what?"

"Interesting," said a scribe. "Is it a custom in the Ago Tribe to cut the hair of the enemy general?"

Eunseom looked uncomfortable at the attention. "Uh… Maybe?" he said with a sheepish smile. There was not a single hint of Saya in that smile. Everyone must have noticed the difference just like Tanya did.

If she weren't so mad, she'd feel bad for him, but he'd gotten himself into this mess all by himself. Why was he down here mixing with these people when he should be resting? And didn't she warn him just yesterday about all the risks? What if the people noticed that more than just the hair was different about 'Saya'?

Finally, the rest of the group noticed her presence, and in an instant, all eyes were on her. "Tanya Niruha!" greeted everyone in the usual formal manner.

Tanya acknowledged them with a nod.

The scribe asked, "What brings you here this early in the day, Niruha?"

"Ah well," she said, "I was nearby, so I decided to visit earlier than usual." She gave them a questioning look. "Is something the matter?" She wanted to ask a different question, but bit her tongue: why is Eunseom down here?

Gilseon said, "Niruha, nothing of concern. We met Lord Saya on the outskirts by chance and escorted him back." He looked back at Eunseom, smiling at him. "The early morning stroll must have been a bit too much for the war injuries."

"Right, thanks again," said Eunseom, still laughing nervously.

Tanya searched the warriors' and scribes' faces for any hint of suspicion towards Eunseom. Couldn't they see how different he was from Saya? Didn't they see that all the differences couldn't be explained by mere memory loss?

Tanya's gaze drifted to Eunseom. He didn't meet her eyes. At least he'd been thoughtful enough to cover his lips and bring some semblance of order to his hair. He was wearing Saya's clothes, although the way he wore them was too sloppy for Saya. And he wasn't even dressed for the cold weather.

But what had he been doing on the outskirts?

"Well," said Tanya, "I have something urgent to discuss with Saya. May I borrow him for a moment?"

Eunseom's guilty expression turned to dread. He eyed her warily; he knew he was in for a lecture. Good.

"Why, of course!" said the overly kind Daekan who was already starting to get on Tanya's nerves. "Shall we escort you?"

"That's not necessary. Yangcha will accompany us."

At Yangcha's mention, most of the other Daekans righted their stance. Tanya knew that he had quite a reputation amongst his fellow men.

Tanya gestured for Eunseom to get going, throwing a glare at him. He obeyed, although she could quickly see why the Daekans had been concerned enough to escort him back to the fortress. He was limping heavily. It looked like his splint was gone, too. Oh, Eunseom, you idiot.

She felt less sorry for his state knowing it was all his own fault.

Getting Eunseom to the top of the tower was a slow process and Yangcha sometimes had to help him out during the climb. Eunseom wasn't the only one dreading their talk. Tanya didn't want to think about why he could have been outside of the fortress; no explanation she came up with was pleasant.

The moment they were in his room—Yangcha was waiting outside—she made Eunseom sit down on the bed and knelt on the ground in front of him. She checked his leg and sighed in relief when she didn't find anything to be concerned about, except for a bruised knee. "What happened?" she asked.

Eunseom was silent, biting his lip.

Tanya voiced her suspicion. "You tried to escape."

"Well—" Eunseom began. He probably tried to come up with some stupid excuse but couldn't think of any. "Yes," he admitted.

Hearing it out of his mouth, Tanya's heart gave a painful tug. She couldn't respond, so she busied herself with Eunseom's leg instead. She found the discarded splint lying on the ground and fastened it around the leg. Eunseom winced in discomfort from time to time. He was giving her an apologetic look, but that alone wasn't going to be enough for her.

"Tanya?" came Eunseom's hesitant question after a while.

Tanya sighed and swallowed down her frustration. "I know you hate it here, but…" No, Tanya decided, she wasn't going to keep it down anymore. She looked him dead in the eye and said what she'd wanted to say all morning. "How could you? How could you just leave without even telling me?" Do I mean this little to you? she wanted to add.

She knew she was being a hypocrite. Just yesterday, Eunseom had accused her of making decisions behind his back, and he had been right. But she would argue that this was a very different situation. Running away without telling her—if the Daekans hadn't found him, he could be long gone by now.

Besides, if she was a hypocrite, he was one, as well.

"I'm sorry, Tanya," he said, and at least it sounded sincere to her ears. "It just… It became too stifling in there. I went with what felt right."

Tanya believed him. Eunseom wasn't someone who could stay still for long. He wasn't meant to be locked inside some rock-built house.

"But—" continued Eunseom. There was an edge to his voice. "For how much longer do you want me to stay in this place, anyway? I can't act like I'm Saya forever, right?"

Of course, he was right. He couldn't live Saya's life forever. But Tanya hadn't come up with a solution yet. If Eunseom just up and left, people would be left wondering about Saya's whereabouts. If people—and most of all Tagon or Taealha—caught on to this, it might even get revealed that the dujumsaeng who killed Sanung Niruha was still alive, and even went as far as taking on Saya's identity. People would hunt him. And since they knew Saya's face, they would know Eunseom's too. Further questions would be raised about why Eunseom and Saya looked identical. Even Saya could be in danger, then. If he was alive, Tanya added mentally.

Tanya had been going through this for weeks, over and over again, and the only safe solution that came to her mind wasn't one Eunseom was going to like. Saya would return soon. That would be the right moment to send Eunseom somewhere safe. Until then he needed to stay.

"Why do you want to leave so bad?" she asked. The moment she said it, Tanya shook her head at her own words. She knew why he—or anyone with a sound mind—wanted to leave Arthdal. "No, I mean, where are you even planning to go?"

Eunseom said, "I plan to return to the Ago Tribe."

Tanya let this information sink in for a moment. She didn't like what it implied. "You mean…back to war?"

"Yeah."

His answer sounded like a death wish to Tanya's ears. Eunseom wanted to return to war?

"Why?" she asked, hearing her voice shaking. She didn't want to remember what the doctor had told her about the nature of his injuries. "Most of the injuries aren't battle wounds. He was tortured," had been his report. "You almost died there. Why go back?"

"They're still fighting. The war isn't over."

"Don't you see it? Arthdal is winning. Fighting in that war is meaningless."

She'd rarely seen Eunseom mad before, but right at this instant, she could see something blazing in his eyes. "Meaningless? How can you say that?" he said, his voice raised. "Do you know what the Ago Tribe has gone through because of Arthdal and Tagon? If they lose this war, I—Anyway, I have to go there and do something."

Tanya got it now. This wasn't about some plan to beat Arthdal. Eunseom was thinking of the people of the Ago Tribe as his friends. He had made friends there whom he wanted to protect. This was so like him, both in an endearing and infuriating sense.

"But what can one person do?" she asked.

"They are my people. It's only natural I go back for them."

Tanya felt as if she was missing something. "Your people?"

Eunseom looked at her, brows furrowed in confusion. He wasn't moving his mouth, but she could hear what he was thinking, "Wait, she doesn't know?"

What did she not know? Now she was confused. "Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked, wary of his answer.

Eunseom was silent for a moment. Why couldn't she read his thoughts now? Tanya hated the randomness of her abilities.

"Sorry," said Eunseom, "I just assumed you knew. You see…" he trailed off. "I was somewhat of a leader there."

"Leader? Like a general?"

Eunseom nodded. "Something like that. I don't know a better word."

Eunseom was a general in the Ago Tribe army? Now that was unexpected. As far as Saya had explained to her, the Ago Tribe hated outsiders. How did Eunseom end up as someone high up in a foreign army?

Whatever the case, she still couldn't let him go. Tanya had to think of a plan, and quickly at that.

For now, she had to buy time.

Tanya made up her mind and sat down next to Eunseom on the bed, taking his hand in hers. "Okay," she said. "I understand why you want to return. So, let's make a deal."

"A deal?"

"Wait until you're fully recovered—until the doctor gives you the go-ahead. After that, I won't stop you from leaving."

Eunseom seemed to consider her suggestion. After a while, he said, "Okay. Guess I'm useless with my leg like this, anyway."

"And…" Tanya added, "promise me that you'll tell me before you leave."

Eunseom smiled at her. "I can do that."

Tanya returned the smile, but on the inside, she felt cold and empty. Earlier or later, Eunseom was going to leave her, abandon her. Tanya knew him too well. She knew it since a long time ago. Eunseom was always meant to be free and unbound. This was what he was like. And perhaps there was just no place for her in his unbound life.

Eunseom squeezed her hand and gave her one of those stupidly handsome looks that made her knees go weak. "Can we stop fighting now?" he asked. It was a mean question. How could he expect Tanya to just forget and forgive this easily?

She didn't even know whether she was mad with Eunseom or herself. She'd promised him to let him leave once he recovered, but she had no intention of following through with it. What was he even thinking, leaving her behind and going somewhere far away to get himself killed?

It made her wonder… Was it only her who had been desperate to see him again?

Eunseom's hand was warm in hers. Tanya felt her resolve crumble. She squeezed back and gave a resigned sigh. "Turn around," she ordered.

"What?"

"Turn around. Let me see your hair."

"My hair?" he asked. She caught Eunseom rolling his eyes. "Why is it that everyone keeps bothering me about my hair?"

"If you haven't noticed yet, it gives you away," replied Tanya. "Come on, let me see." She took him by the shoulders and made him turn around. Eunseom complied more or less willingly.

Eunseom's locks shined from the soft sunlight streaming through the small window. She liked his curls. They were part of him and she didn't want them to go. She took one lock between her fingers and inspected it. Back in Iark, Eunseom had never brushed his hair. He just let it dry after taking a bath in the river. But every once in a while, when Tanya couldn't endure his messy mop of hair any longer, he had allowed her to brush it. When his hair dried after brushing it, it was straighter, almost like Saya's.

"Wait a second," she said, then walked to the washroom where a basin of clean water waited. She took one of Saya's brushes and some other things from the counter and heaved up the basin, then returned to Eunseom in the main room who was eying her, a dreaded look on his face. Why for the Great White Wolf's sake did Eunseom despise brushing his hair so much?

She dipped the brush into the water and started slowly carding the wet brush through his tangled locks, taking care to be gentle. Despite his earlier protests, Eunseom looked comfortable now. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be enjoying it.

Eunseom asked, "Saya's hair is long, right?"

"Long and well-groomed. He always looks flawless. And you look like a slob." A pretty slob. She liked that about Eunseom, but he didn't need to know that.

"Why, thank you." Eunseom didn't sound impressed.

"Just a bit more effort will do, okay? You need to start brushing your hair now. It will help rouse less suspicion."

"Do I have to?"

A laugh escaped her before she could contain it. Eunseom sounded even more like a child than Doti when he was sulking. She wanted to stay mad with him. She really wanted to, but she couldn't.

Once she was done, she inspected Eunseom from all sides. With the curls brushed out, the hair was about shoulder-length, longer than she'd ever seen on him, and he looked more like Saya—aside from his sour expression. This is only temporary, she told herself. Eunseom could soon return to being Eunseom again. Her Eunseom.

As Tanya tried to recall how Saya usually styled his hair, she rummaged through the utensils she had picked up from the washroom. She soon found the thin hairbands he preferred to use and took a few of Eunseom's strands between her fingers, carding the bands into them. "You also need to learn how to braid your hair properly," she said.

Eunseom turned around, a mischievous smile on his face. "Can't you just do it when you're here?"

"Hey, I'm busy enough as is." Of course, she didn't mind doing this at all, but that, too, Eunseom didn't need to know.

Being this close to Eunseom, making his hair and joking with him, Tanya wanted time to stop.

Time. All she needed was time to come up with a plan to make him stay.

Tanya stood close to the eternal flame, the soft light of the fire making it easier to see the writing on the wooden scroll in her hands. A messenger had just come by to deliver it. A letter from Saya, apparently.

After Saya had left for war, he had started writing her letters, mostly about random war facts and his experience of the world outside of Arthdal. She couldn't yet understand them by herself, but she had made Myungjin read them to her, and then used them to study the Aniartz letters. Saya's letters were something she had always been looking forward to, mostly because his writing was highly entertaining.

"The Daekans do not know what hygiene is. I swear I have never been exposed to such bad odors in all my life. And when we do come upon a river, they do not bathe in it but urinate into it. Tanya, war is different from what I expected."

"I have seen more than twenty different bird species since I left Arthdal. Only because you told me to cherish life will I not bring you back a collection of their bloodstained feathers. I will think of a different present."

Just remembering his letters brought a smile to Tanya's lips.

She looked down at the newest addition in her hands. "You're saying it's from Saya?" she asked the messenger. She traced the characters, noticing her fingers trembling. Despite her limited knowledge of Aniartz, she could recognize Saya's name at the end and her name at the beginning. And still, she couldn't believe it. Was this really a letter from Saya?

"Yes. Although I must apologize," said the man, "the letter is old. The Daekans didn't have a chance to send someone over before Lord Saya got injured. And amongst the chaos, this letter was forgotten." He counted something on his fingers. "It's about three moon cycles old."

Tanya's heart sank. "I see." And here she had hoped there was finally news from Saya. "Can you read it out to me?"

"Why, of course," said the messenger, accepting the scroll.

Tanya,

The war is at its climax. The Ago Tribe is brute but truly fascinating. I have told you about the legend of Inaishingi before, have I? If you do not remember, then you should look it up. Why would a man jump down the Great Waterfall? But he did it, survived, and became a legendary hero. Inaishingi and the Ago Tribe are this to me: daring and unpredictable. Yet Inaishingi will never reach Aramun Haesulla's levels, and the Ago Tribe will never reach Arthdal's because they are lacking in wit and foresight.

The war will not take much longer. I will soon return to your side so that we can continue striving towards our goal.

Your Saya

What a disappointment. Tanya had hoped there would be some sort of hint about what had happened to him. If he had met Eunseom at that point, Saya would have told her in the letter.

Tanya's stomach churned. There still weren't any clues about Saya's whereabouts, and Eunseom was recovering too fast for her liking. At this rate, the doctor would give him the go-ahead to leave for war any time soon. She was running out of time.

She stared into the eternal flame, hoping for an answer to come to her. The flame flickered, and she could swear she saw a black silhouette in the fire, looking like a creature of sorts. Then the flame thinned and flickered three times in quick succession before it returned to its regular stable rhythm.

Three. Three attempts to convince Eunseom. Was that what the flame wanted to tell her? It felt more like a spur of intuition than anything, but Tanya decided to follow it.

You just wait, Eunseom. I, Tanya of Wahan, will give you a good reason to stay.

Tanya wasn't someone to waste time. So, later that day, she decided to carry out stage one of her plan.

"So, where are we going?" asked Eunseom, as they walked through the city. His limp was almost unnoticeable.

Tanya said, "I told you not to ask. I want it to be a surprise."

Today not even Yangcha was accompanying them. It had taken her some convincing, but nothing that a couple of threats and curses could not manage. She wanted it to be only the two of them for this trip. Still, she had promised Yangcha to heed caution, so Tanya was wearing a cape covering her face, and she had Eunseom wear one too.

She liked walking the streets with him and no one knowing. It gave her somewhat of a thrill. Look at us, people of Arthdal. You'd never guess who we are. Your Niruha is walking the streets with the dujumsaeng who's execution you all celebrated loudly and cheeringly. We have you all fooled.

She still couldn't believe it; Eunseom was walking at her side. Despite everything they'd been through, they were together now. Her heart was racing with giddy excitement and she had to restrain herself from taking his hand.

As she led him to the outskirts, the crowd of people thinned, and once they reached the forest area at Dalrae Hill, they were completely alone. The air was crisp, and leaves crunched under their feet. Tanya enjoyed the solitude.

Eunseom was getting more and more impatient, though. "Come on, Tanya, tell me already," he said for the umpteenth time.

She clenched her teeth to keep herself from laughing. Why was he such a child? "This way," she said, not indulging him. "It's not far now."

"I think I can hear a river. Is that where we're headed?" said Eunseom.

"Right, if you go downhill from here, you'll reach a river. I often see horses taking breaks there. And no," said Tanya, grinning, "that's not where we're headed."

Eunseom groaned.

Tanya continued leading the way, enjoying herself far too much whereas Eunseom looked close to losing it.

The first time she had followed Saya here it had been winter. Now one cycle of the seasons had passed, and it was once more the peak of winter. It almost felt nostalgic coming here again at this time of the year.

Spotting the objective of their trip, Tanya stopped in her tracks. "We're here."

Eunseom stopped as well. His gaze went to the big tree in the distance, mouth open in wonder. "This…" he said, "It looks like…" He didn't seem to find the right words.

"You wanted to know more about Saya," said Tanya. "So, I wanted to show you this."

Eunseom was still in awe, his eyes glued to the mud hut sitting on the tree.

Tanya walked towards the hut and gestured for Eunseom to climb in after her. She winced in sympathy when she noticed he had trouble climbing the ladder because of his injured leg.

It didn't seem to faze him at all, though. All his attention was directed at the hut and its interior. Once inside, Eunseom looked around, stopping at each object. He was most fascinated with the charms hanging from the ceiling. "Did my brother build all this? How could we've thought of the same thing…"

"You didn't. Saya dreamed of your hut in Iark, and then built this one." She gave him a meaningful look. "He dreamed about your life the same way you dreamed about his."

Eunseom gave her a wondrous look. "He dreamed of my life, too?"

Tanya nodded, smiling at him. "You grew up apart, but you're still connected through your dreams. Isn't that nice?"

Eunseom returned the smile. "I like it." He looked excited. He seemed to love the idea of having a brother and sharing their dreams. Tanya was more concerned about Saya's opinion of Eunseom. Whenever Tanya had tried to imply the possibility of a family to him, he hadn't been receptive at all. She took him for the guy to be jealous of the life Eunseom had lived, growing up with their mother, being free, and having friends. Not that Eunseom's life had been all easy, and even less so since he came to Arthdal. Perhaps only one of them could be free and happy at one time.

At least she was hoping that was what Saya was right now. He was wandering around Arth, enjoying his freedom. Tanya didn't want to think about any alternative.

Remembering her plan, Tanya returned her attention to Eunseom who was now inspecting a map of this area pinned to the wall.

"There are many more things you can learn about your brother here," said Tanya.

Eunseom craned his neck to look at her. "Really? What kind of things?"

"The food he likes, the games he plays, which market stalls he frequents, all these things."

"I'd like to learn about them."

"And," Tanya continued, "once he returns to Arthdal, you can get to know each other for real."

"Right…"

"But…" Tanya swallowed down the guilty lump in her throat, knowing what she was about to say would hurt Eunseom. "But if you return to war, you'll have to fight each other."

Eunseom's face fell.

"Is that what you want?" she asked.

Eunseom looked down, the excitement from earlier wiped off his face. "I don't want to fight him. But…"

"But?" What was he thinking?

Eunseom shook his head. "Never mind."

No. She was so close, she couldn't stop here. "Look, if you stay here—"

Eunseom interrupted her. "I know what you're trying to say, Tanya." He didn't even look mad, he looked dejected, and it only worsened Tanya's guilt. Had she gone too far?

As he continued looking at one of the maps, Eunseom mumbled, "Besides, I don't think it'll make a difference if we meet on the battlefield or here."

"What do you mean?"

Eunseom didn't answer for what felt like an eternity. Then, as if their conversation had never happened, he grinned at her and said, "Hey, why don't you show me that game you were talking about my brother liked? What was it called again? I think I remember it from my dreams."

It was an obvious attempt to change the subject, but Tanya decided not to pursue it any further. If they ended up fighting again, her plan would only backfire—if it hadn't already. "Right, let me show you. Saya only taught me the basics, though."

Somehow Eunseom ended up teaching her the game instead, and they played until nightfall, at one point ending up just throwing stones at each other and laughing together like old times, all concerns forgotten for a short while. Perhaps stage one of her plan turned out a bit different than she had planned, but after seeing Eunseom's smiling face, she couldn't call it a complete failure.