Chapter 6: the (drunk) butterfly effect

In the abode of the Hermes Familia, one rogue god was now at the mercy of a blue haired woman and was spewing forth such an abundant stream of words that you could think his life depended on it. Although it was very possible that it did indeed.

I swear to myself Asfi, I didn't know this gizmo still worked!

What "gizmo" ? asked the captain, still glowering. If she continued like this, Hermes felt that his bladder would eventually betray him.

Eeeeek! About twenty years ago now, I met a weird, eccentric, but very talented mage, and I gave him a little help!

Help with what? she yelled at him. Strangely enough, the rest of the familia were safely hidden, as if they were waiting for the storm to pass.

He could make golems, like really really powerful, and he was going to finish his last creation!

How powerful? she continued in the same tone.

High degree of intelligence and able to open spatial rifts to summon small items!

You meet an obviously mental mage, capable of making such a monster and you give him a hand! She yelled at him even louder, while shaking him like a rag doll. Now she was cursing the gods and their damned need for entertainment.

Not mental! Not exactly ! Eccentric, mainly! Aside from magic, he loved gossip, rumour and spicy scandals. So I subtly convinced him to make it so that his golem would tell nothing but gossip, rumour and smily scandals! So, in addition to the golem, he made these magic birds to spy on the city and collect information on people, to make his newspaper more credible.

You are telling me that for almost twenty years, there has been a whole spy network in town, over which no one has any control!

I swear I didn't know that! The mage died shortly after finishing his creation, I thought all this was out of commission! I was as surprised as you when I discovered this newspaper! he said, still shifty-eyed, but this hadn't worked with his captain for a long time.

Ho yes, you definitely had a clue! Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked Lulune to find these maps so quickly! They're related to that, aren't they? What were they used for?

These were coded maps to find passageways to his work lab. He made them so they looked pretty credible, so I stashed them with my unimportant documents,… I was hoping no one would be interested in them,this way.

But when Lulune cleaned up the old stuff, she saw where they were stored, so she didn't take them seriously and threw them away with the rest of it, she said, starting to grasp how everything started.

That's exactly it! Unfortunately, she did not find them and by random chance, they ended up with Hestia and Loki!

And I can pretty much guess the rest.

The young woman sighed and pulled away from her god, pinching the bridge of her nose. This whole mess was making her head hurt. Now there she was, having to fix some twenty year old bullshit her god had started. Said bullshit had created an even bigger mess, and it was about to harm two familias who didn't have any say in this.

So, uh, how can we...

She started speaking, turning back to Hermes, but found that he had run away in the meantime. Now she was really enraged, but strangely she did not scream or shout or showed her fury in any way. Instead, she had an eerily cute smile and it was with a cheerful voice that she called out :

Luluuuuuune?

She came out of her hole, but still remained on guard: everyone knew not to provoke Asfi when Hermes had annoyed her that much.

Uh… yes?

Spread the word to others that I am offering a big extra to whoever brings me Master Hermes's head.

Uh ... you mean whoever finds Master Hermes ?

No, no, you heard me very well. She said with her adorably terrifying smile. The pup suddenly began to turn pale. This time, the boss had really fucked up.

So a week had passed ...

A week when those concerned no longer dared to leave their familia's homes. The subject was on everyone's lips and speculations abounded here and there. Only the two goddesses splashed by the scandal could be seen on the streets these days. As soon as they had seen the symbol of the Hermes familia at the bottom of the newspaper, their instinct instantly whispered the name of the responsible for all this mess. After all, it wasn't as if they hadn't known him for thousands of years and had no idea what he was capable of.

Hestia and Loki buried the hatchet and therefore made common cause. For several days they were seen walking about in Orario, in search of the traveling god, both with a mace in hand.

In the end, it was Bell who decided to go outside for a bit and try his luck outside. Since the rest of his familia were in low spirits, especially Mikoto and Welf, who looked like they had hit rock-bottom, he decided to go do some solo exploration in the Dungeon like he did when he was just starting out. Maybe beating up some monster would do wonders for him. Nothing would help clearing his mind like the den of death itself, where the worst dangers waited at every turn.

And he couldn't wait to get there, for the looks he had to face in the street were particularly awkward, but among them, three most recurring could be picked up. The elves looked at him with a certain hostility for smearing the lips of a princess of their noble race; men seemed to be saying "well done man!" And housewives, charmed by his adorable rabbit face, looked at him like the victim of a terrible she-predator. In short, he couldn't wait to go to the Dungeon.

Unfortunately, his plans were thwarted, for no sooner had he stepped half a foot into the entrance to Babel when he was intercepted by a certain semi-elf wearing the uniform of the Guild employees.

Ha… Eina… H-hello.

The boy wasn't reassured, largely because she was glaring at him. It wasn't the first time he had annoyed his advisor, often because of his recklessness, but now she looked really pissed off.

Bell Cranel! Office! Right now!

Bluntly, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into one of the Guild's private rooms, where she yelled at him copiously for indulging in immoral acts with Riveria. Of course, many of the events she recounted were twisted, but the poor boy, trembling, could do nothing but weather the storm and apologize meekly. Finally, she calmed down a bit and mumbled under her breath.

Seriously, if you wanted to learn more about women, you could have just asked me...

The boy didn't understand what she said and looked up at her.

Uh... what?

Blushing at her words, the half-elf got angry again and pointed her accusing finger at him.

You are grounded, mister! No Dungeon until further notice!

The boy let out a cry of shock, before leaving the premises with a vexed and dejected expression, not even bothering to check if his advisor indeed had the authority to prevent him from going into the Dungeon.

Instead of storming the dungeon, and seeing that a lot of time had flown, he decided to fall back to the Hostess of Fertility. Mama Mia's tavern was less busy at lunchtime and her tasty food might cheer him up a bit. He was greeted by the loud voice of the owner telling him to sit at the bar, which he did, still lost in thought and his budding depression.

Hello Bell.

It was Syr's soft and melodious voice that brought him out of his dreamy state. He looked up, glad to see a friendly face, but panicked when he realized that, despite her smile, Syr was glaring at him quite terrifyingly. Without him ordering anything, she set a dish in front of him, the looks of which he did not really care for.

Uh… Syr ? What is this shiny red thing that looks particularly spicy?

A new dish Bell, something prepared just for you.

Nyaa Syr, what a airhead you are! Remember to serve some drinks to the customer. Anya, one of the catpeople working here, said that while bursting in, and she placed a pint in front of the boy. The pint in question contained a strange pinkish substance, which bubbled from time to time. The more he looked at it, the more the adventurer began to convince himself that the substance was alive.

Stop bothering him, you two. Ryuu said then, hitting them on the head. Bell then thanked his lucky star for the blond elven angel coming to his aid. She didn't seem to mean him any harm, but despite her usual calm demeanor, she still looked a little awkward.

So uh… Bell.

No, there was definitely something wrong with her attitude, starting with that weird way of calling him.

So, um... do you have a thing for she-elves?

The absurd question took him off guard, but he didn't even have time to think about it when he felt a deep hostility directed at him, the kind that caused a terrible cold sweat to run down his spine. The type to remind him that most of the waitresses, as well as the owner, were mostly powerful warriors. With haste, he placed a few coins on the counter.

Thank you for the meal, have a nice day! he said then before running away. In the end, there really was no place like home, and he was eager to return to his familia's abode, possibly the last sanctuary he had left in these dark hours.

Luckily for Bell, back at his familia's mansion, he was greeted by Haruhime's sweet and cute smile. Right now she seemed like an oasis of kindness in this brutal world.

Ha! Master Bell! That's a fortunate time to come back, you have a visitor.

No, something told him she was more of a harbinger of disaster. And his bad feeling was confirmed when she led him to the living room and he found Riveria there, the high elf enjoying tea while she was waiting for his return. Even though he had nothing against her, she was one of the people he least wanted to meet right now. A little embarrassed, the boy mustered his courage and went to sit in the cushioned bench in front of her. Lili and Harihume were still there, standing back, their presence not seeming to really bother the elf. They began with a few customary greetings, where the emerald beauty seemed more at ease than the little bunny.

And so, the elf continued, seeing as my royal family wants to avoid scandals and I'm tired of them being so overbearing, I have found an effective solution to the problem.

What solution ? Bell asked, not quite sure he wanted to hear the answer, while taking a sip of tea.

Very simple: let us get married.

The boy spat out his tea, completely taken aback by the high elf's words.

Believe me, I have considered this problem from all angles and this is the best solution I have found.

If Bell could have turned into a real rabbit and hidden deep into a burrow, he already would have. Totally in shock, he was unable to say anything in response.

Here, here, it's not that bad a solution. I am sure that in a few years you will be a very handsome young man, a real heartthrob. And speaking of age, do not pay heed to wagging tongues, I am young for a pure elf. I would also add that as one of my familia's executives, I earn a very decent salary. She then leaned over and spoke to him in a lower voice, almost than if she whispered the last words to him. Psst! And I promise, we can do more than kiss then. She gave him a knowing wink.

But it was when that Hestia barged in like a minotaur in a china shop.

No way, no one will steal MY Bell from me! she cried, once again demonstrating her uber-possessiveness over the boy. And what are all these flowers? she asked as she noticed that the living room was invaded by many bouquets of all kinds. You could almost believe that Demeter and Aphrodite had come to redo the decor.

Ho that? These are gifts from Finn to Miss Arde. I think he really wants her to reconsider his marriage proposal as well.

A marriage ? But what a delicious idea! Said the goddess in a strangely more eager tone. You are lucky to have such a suitor, little supporter.

Don't change your mind when it suits you! an outraged Lili replied. Lady Haruhime, please say something.

The fox in question looked thoughtful, but she spoke to the prum nonetheless.

Do you think she-elves accept for their husbands to take concubines?

Obviously, someone had a lot of ideas.

That'shardly the most important thing right now! pointed out the prum, who felt like the only sane person left in the mansion.

In the end, the discussions did not advance any further and the elf lady took her leave, leaving the Hestia familia to deal with their little problems.

When she returned to the Twilight Mansion, she was greeted in the lobby by Gareth passing by.

Ha Riveria! You've been out for a long time, nothing wrong I hope?

Not at all, I just went to see Bell Cranel to talk about our potential marriage.

Without any preparation, she had just dropped a real bomb, because no one knew about it. Everyone around froze in silence. Upstairs, a loud thud of something falling down could be heard, and then Anakitty's panicked voice.

Help! Lefiya is broken again!

In poor Aiz's mind, there was also a whole flurry of questions being dealt with. Riveria was going to marry Bell? Basically, she didn't like the idea, although she couldn't quite pinpoint exactly why. But above all, if Riveria, her mother figure for many years, married Bell, then by extension, would Bell something of a stepfather for her? Too many questions for her unprepared mind, which pushed her into a "blue screen of death" state and left her frozen in the hall, staring blankly. Something that Tiona, staying at her side, could not help but notice.

Haaaaaa! Aiz is broken too!

To be continued…