Chapter 7: Keep calm and punch Hermes

The next two days were not any better for anyone. Bell couldn't get anything out of Welf or Mikoto, who spent most of their time wandering the hallways like lame zombies. The pinnacle of silliness was reached when he asked them if they wanted to go eat something outside to get some fresh air, and they answered together:

"I don't like muscle men / bad boys! "

Basically, they were still haunted by their respective heartaches. In the end, he could only find some measure of complicity only with Lili, as he regularly fled from the pressure of Hestia in her company, with a little benevolent help from Haruhime. The goddess, always more inclined to listen to her emotions than her reason, was pestering them over marriage nonsense, trying to tighten her hold on Bell so that Riveria wouldn't get her hands on him, while trying to fling Lili into a future married life, far from them. She loved her little supporter, but if the latter could stop crushing on the goddess' beloved Bell for good, that would be perfect.

At Twilight Mansion, things weren't really for the best either. The repairs to the house were finished, but it was now necessary to "repair" the members of the familia affected by this story. And incidentally, their goddess, who really didn't no where to stand anymore. When she had learned of Finn and Riveria's marital plans, she had had the same reaction every time.

With whoever ya want, but not with one of itsy bitsy's kids!

However, both were deaf to her protests. But it could be worse, at least Aiz herself who wanted to get married. To make things worse, the Hiryute sisters needed to be cooled down on an hourly basis, as they became darker and more destructive every time some idiot jokingly asked them for a dance. And when a man asked Bete for dating advice, the reaction was no better. Oh, and add to this the very unstable mental state of Lefiya, who jumped from total apathy to a nervous breakdown as soon as someone had the misfortune to mention the original outfits she had tried, even in a convoluted way. As for Aiz, she was also a little moody. But unfortunately for Loki, that didn't make the two women more accessible to her attempted groping, as their self-defense mode remained perfectly functional.

The situation really could have turned out to be catastrophic, but fortunately the misfortune of these two familias ended, precisely when that of a certain wandering god began. After several days without sleep, drawing her strenghth from sheer annoyance, Asfi finally found in which hideout Hermes had taken refuge while waiting for the storm to pass. But this time around, he wasn't going to get away with it.

Asfi had brought him back by the skin of his neck to the city. And to make things worse for him, Hestia and Loki had heard about it out of poor luck. The two goddesses had then immediately stormed away, towards his familia's home.

When he presented himself to the Guild the next day, his face was particularly swollen, as a proof of the outburst of violence unleashed upon him. Even his peeping on the baths on the 18th floor hadn't caused him so much well deserved pain.

In the end, he had to make a public statement in which he admitted that the infamous newspaper and everything it contained was just a big pile of fake news, that everything was made up, that the images were falsified, that the people concerned had not done any of that, and that he was solely responsible for all this stupidity, and the mess that had resulted.

Many people were disappointed to see all this delicious gossip and scandal go into the trash, but at least the honor of the two familias and the members involved was restored. Of course, no one dwelled on the details or heard of the golem's lair and the "ordeal" that took place there. The reality of the facts didn't matter, the most important was settling on a truth that satisfied those concerned.

Hermes got a massive dressing-down from the Guild and was forced to pay a fine for disturbing public order. To this, he was constrained to add a substantial compensation to the two familias to make people forget the damage suffered. And since the golem was destroyed, he was fortunate enough that things did not go any further.

In the two familias, calm also returned and life resumed its course. Welf and Mikoto were finally able to go and re-establish the truth with their respective gods and regain their good spirits. The blacksmith raged on his anvil all day and the samurai threw a feast for everyone.

Lefiya finally came out of her depression when she realized that these embarrassing images would never come to haunt her again. Finn, and especially Riveria, abandoned their wedding plans, which, strangely enough, helped to put Aiz back in better shape. Tiona, Tione and especially Bete, recovered their well-earned reputations of badass warriors.

As for Bell, he regained his smile and his spirits when his familia returned to normal, his goddess stopped talking to him about marriage and the people he usually met, namely Eina and the girls from the tavern, had calmed down and even apologized for not trusting him more. All of that was soon behind them, like a simple awkward parenthesis that no one would speak of again, until they were old enoughat least.

It was therefore with great pleasure that Bell reunited with his comrades for another day of exploration in the Dungeon. So it was in a cheerful way that the small group set out for Babel, ready and pumped up to face monsters and mysteries.

When at the tower, the group encountered some members of the Loki Familia. The two groups greeted each other quietly. Each familia preferred to avoid the other, while the awkward memories were still vivid, but they weren't on bad terms either.

When the two groups crossed paths, no one could see the mysterious and teasing smirk that a certain woman of the Loki familia wore. Bell jumped slightly, which caught the attention of his companions.

A problem master Bell ?

Nothing at all Lili!

Actually, someone had squeezed his butt! And it was clearly not an accident, but a clear grope, certainly light, but a real one.

I just can't wait to resume our exploration of the Dungeon.

Yes, it was all perfect: monsters, blood, danger and naive dreams of heroism, the ideal recipe for a swell day!

And so, ordinary life resumed in Orario, leaving this story to the past.

Sadly, someone was going to have to play extra time, and that someone was poor Hermes again. The deusdea had been extremely pleased to receive an invitation from Freya. An invitation that came under the guise of Ottar, who grabbed him by the neck to bring him before his goddess, without asking Hermes for his opinion and without taking into account his protests that he was still a god.

Freya, I swear this is all a horrible misunderstanding and completely unintentional on my part!

Hermes was well aware of the "little" obsession the goddess had developed for Bell Cranel. And there was absolutely no way she could have missed the golem newspaper. Which was indeed the case, and the goddess did not care for this whole kissing thing, not one bit indeed. Of course, she knew full well that by not taking the young adventurer directly under her control, she was taking the risk that some first experiences she wanted to have with him would be taken by other people. She had fully accepted this fact, she did not like the way all of this happened at all, so she needed to make his mistake understood to the principal concerned.

A misunderstanding my dear Hermes? Your words are really amusing...

Sitting on a large velvet armchair, legs crossed, the goddess was beaming with all her divine might, a true queen among the gods. But she also held a whip in her hand, which she snapped in a threatening manner. The only noise that was heard next was that of Ottar leaving the place, closing the door behind him and locking it.

Come on, Hermes, you knew very well how it was all going to end ...

The last thing to remember from this whole story was that in Folkvangr, home of the Freya familia, no one would hear you scream...

THE END

Author's Notes: And that's it for this first translation. I hope you enjoyed following it.

I again thank my friends in my translation group for their ideas and especially JenamTheBrave without whom this translation would not have had such a high level of quality.

Stay tuned, there might be a story that includes a joke from Ishtar on its way to translation as well.