"And here you'll find our CSI lab," explained the tour guide, "Here MCPD forensic scientists use their dedication and experience to help ongoing investigations."
Barbara looked over the guide's shoulder into the lab. It didn't seem very different from the Gotham City Police Department. Indeed, it was significantly less impressive than the lab Batman kept in the batcave. Bruce had warned her this might be the case. Still, it was worth the trip to see Metropolis.
Barbara was still enrolled in her forensic psychology track at Gotham University. Though Bruce assured her it was unnecessary and that he could teach her anything she needed, she remained skeptical. She didn't want to stake her entire hero career on faith in one person alone, even if that person was Bruce Wayne.
The university had offered a trip to visit Metropolis City Police Department Headquarters, which Barbara was touring now. She was already exasperated with this tour. She knew everything they'd say; it was a waste of her time.
Initially Barbara had also hoped to get a sighting of Superman out of her trip. Batman had files on him of course, but they were all very impartial and technical. She wanted to see Superman in person. Unfortunately, Bruce informed her before she left that Superman would be off-planet on Justice League business during her trip.
Suddenly the fluorescent lights throughout the room flickered, emitting a buzzing sound as everyone began to murmur. After a few seconds the power went off completely. The murmurs escalated into fearful whispers.
"Relax, everyone!" said the tour guide, holding up her phone, "Superhuman activity near the power plant. Our power's down but we're safe."
Barbara realized that Metropolis had some sort of citywide alert system for emergencies. Gotham could benefit from something like that. Maybe she'd casually bring it up with her dad sometime.
"I'm sure Superman will have the situation handled shortly," assured the guide.
Except Superman isn't in town, thought Barbara, slinking away from the tour group, Looks like this trip's about to get a lot more interesting.
Supergirl slowed to a steady cruise over the power plant. She did a quick x-ray scan of the building and realized to her relief that everyone had already been evacuated. There was only one person still inside: the perpetrator. Supergirl couldn't make out exactly who or what it was, but it appeared humanoid in form and was headed toward the generator room. Supergirl rushed in through a window and swooped to cut them off.
When Superman had left on Justice League business, he had requested Supergirl watch over Metropolis for him. It was easier said than done when there were no procedures in place for the city coordinating with Supergirl. She didn't even find out about this incident until long after the alert system went off. She was just glad no one was hurt.
The figure rounded the corner and arrived at the door to the engine room where Supergirl stood guard. He was a masculine figure made of a glowing pink substance with patches of glowing white light. The faceless front of the head moved as to make a facial expression.
"Parasite," identified Supergirl, "Old habits die hard, huh? Still stealing whatever energy you can find."
"Supergirl," hissed Parasite, "Get out of my way. That electricity is mine!"
Parasite ran at Supergirl, who instinctively fired her heat vision at him. The red laser collided with Parasite's chest, but his whole body pulsed as his body just absorbed the heat and energy from the attack.
"More…" purred Parasite.
Parasite went to jump at Supergirl again, but a bolas struck him from behind and left him bound in the weapon on the floor. Supergirl looked up in confusion. Standing behind the downed Parasite was a woman in a bat costume.
"I'm sorry," said Supergirl, "You are…?"
"Batgirl," answered the woman, "I'm, uh, visiting from Gotham."
"You're with Batman?" asked Supergirl.
"Aren't you with Superman?"
"That's not what I-"
Both women snapped to attention as a red flare burned the bolas right off of Parasite, who got to his feet. Supergirl clenched her fists in frustration. She had never personally fought Parasite before, she understood that he could absorb powers and then use them as his own. He must have absorbed her heat vision.
"Wait!" cried Supergirl as Parasite bolted for the door she was guarding.
Supergirl blocked Parasite completely, pushing him back as hard as she could. To her shock and frustration, Parasite quickly matched her strength and wouldn't budge no matter how hard she pushed. Supergirl felt herself slowly get weaker until Parasite overpowered her, slamming her head into the wall and rushing into the generator room.
"Supergirl!" cried Batgirl, running to the weakened Kryptonian's side.
"Don't let him," mumbled Supergirl weakly, "get to the generator."
Batgirl nodded and ran in after Parasite. She quickly saw Parasite tearing down a chain link fence like it was a crumpled paper bag, tossing it aside.
"Freeze!" ordered Batgirl, drawing a batarang.
Parasite responded with a burst of heat vision, which Batgirl barely dodged by leaping to the side. She drew a batarang and sprinted directly at Parasite, who struck her back with the back of his hand, sending her flying into the crumpled up fence against the wall.
"Pathetic," said Parasite, seeming to change his expression once again before walking toward the generator.
"Get back here, you coward!" yelled Batgirl.
Parasite stopped and turned around. Batgirl went to jump to her feet but quickly fell back down onto her side. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that the seat of her pants had gotten hooked to some part of the crumpled up fence. She fumbled to unhook herself, but couldn't find the exact spot it was hooked.
"Stuck?" said Parasite, "That's too bad."
Two glowing eyes opened on the front of Parasite's head. Batgirl tensed up as she expected the beam to cut through her like tissue paper. Instead Parasite let out a yell of frustration as something grabbed him from behind. Parasite struggled to break free as Supergirl forced his wrists behind his back.
"You're a slow learner," said Parasite.
The pink glow around Parasite pulsed once before he ripped both his arms free of Supergirl's grasp, releasing a kinetic burst of force as he did. Supergirl screamed as the burst sent her flying across the room, where she slammed into the opposite wall and collapsed at the foot of it.
"Supergirl!" called out Batgirl, finally unhooking herself.
Batgirl ran across the room to Supergirl. Parasite chuckled and used this opportunity to grab a hold of the generator. The enormous device emitted a deafening hum as Parasite began to siphon away all its power.
"Nnngh…" moaned Supergirl as Batgirl knelt beside her.
This is bad, thought Batgirl, It's no small feat to put a Kryptonian out of commission on Earth.
Batgirl lifted Supergirl up and over her shoulders, firemen carrying her away as the engine grew louder and electric fires burst to life all over it. Batgirl had finally made it out of the building when a section of the roof blew clean away. Soon the entire building collapsed in on itself as the engine released one last spectacular burst of flames before being reduced to a smoldering heap of metal.
"Well," said Batgirl as she lowered Supergirl's body to the ground, "That could have gone better."
Batgirl made sure Supergirl's body was safe and hidden before running off. Supergirl awoke minutes later. After a few seconds she recalled what had happened and flew over to the wreckage.
There was no sign of Parasite. He had gotten away. The citywide blackout lasted until backup generators from other power plants were able to take over a few hours later.
Barbara looked either way down the hall before kneeling in front of the apartment door and pulling out her lock picking supplies. She had to hurry if she didn't want to get caught.
After their run in the other day, Barbara had looked into Supergirl. She accessed all of the files that Batman had on her, but there wasn't much. Barbara had taken matters into her own hands and analyzed Supergirl's response time to various crimes and accidents. By doing so she was able to determine two broad response points. Barbara deduced that one was her home and the other was her place of work. Realizing that one of the response areas seemed near The Daily Planet, Barbara had immediately pulled up the staff from their website. While she hadn't found anyone on the site that could be Supergirl, she did see a blonde in one of the office photos that resembled her. Some quick cross referencing with social media showed the woman in question to be Kara Danvers who, according to Batman's database, lived in this apartment.
Kara heard the satisfying click of the lock coming undone as she slowly opened the door.
"Hello?" she called in, "Somebody call for tech support? The door's open."
No response. This was perfect. Barbara rushed in and closed the door behind her. She cautiously began looking around the place. It wasn't a bad apartment for Metropolis, but certainly seemed to be more than a personal assistant's salary could pay. That was Kara's job according to several of her social media platforms.
Barbara made her way into one of the bedrooms. There was a small desk and laptop setup in the corner, where Barbara found a framed photo. She looked at it and saw Kara smiling with what appeared to be several family members. One of them bore an uncanny resemblance to Superman.
"Hm…"
Barbara was confident, but she needed to have proof to convince herself. That's when Barabara tripped over a pile of dirty laundry. Kicking away the granny panties that had hooked to her foot, Barbara noticed something else in the pile. She knelt down and pulled out the blue fabric, finding it to be a leotard with the iconic "S" logo on it.
"Bingo," whispered Barbara.
There was a rush of wind and the next thing Barbara knew she was choking and pinned against the far wall of the bedroom. When she finally realized what was happening, she saw Supergirl's furious face staring her down.
"What do you think you're doing?" demanded Supergirl.
"Recon," croaked Barbara, "I didn't know how else to get a hold of you…"
Supergirl released Barbara's throat and examined her as she keeled over to catch her breath.
"You're Batgirl," realized Supergirl.
"And you're Kara Danvers," said Batgirl, "Let's just keep those secrets between us, shall we?"
"I don't need your help taking down Parasite," said Supergirl.
"Reality check," said Barbara, "That guy can absorb your powers and use them against you. Brawn isn't going to cut it. We have to work together."
"You mean like how you almost got yourself killed?" said Supergirl, "If it weren't for you I wouldn't have had to tackle Parasite directly. He would never have gotten that much of my power."
"Sorry about that," said Barbara, clenching her teeth and trying not to blush.
"You're just like your mentor, you know that?" scoffed Supergirl, "Coming in, taking over, insisting that whatever you do is right…"
"What do you know about Batman?" demanded Barbara.
"My cousin's in the League with him," said Supergirl, "I've heard stories. I'm not interested in your help. Now get out of my apartment."
Barbara nodded and made her way out. That hadn't gone as planned. Maybe breaking and entering hadn't been the best first move. Either way, Barbara couldn't let Supergirl's single-mindedness get in the way of catching Parasite. Barbara had to help Supergirl out whether either of them liked it or not.
I wonder what kind of stories Superman has about Bruce… thought Barbara.
Batgirl watched silently from the rafters and piping on the ceiling as the scientists went about their job below her. Batgirl had snuck into the Metropolis branch of Wayne Enterprises, a task made easy by knowledge of Wayne security systems, and was now watching over one of the experimental labs. A new generator was being developed here and Batgirl was willing to bet money Parasite would come after it.
Batgirl only knew about this generator because of working so closely with Bruce. She would have told Supergirl about it, but it seemed pretty clear that their partnership wasn't meant to be. Batgirl still wondered what Batman could have done for Superman to instill such a low opinion of him in Supergirl.
The lights flickered. The scientists all looked around nervously. Batgirl drew a batarang in anticipation. The scientists rushed to different consoles, frantically typing something in. Batgirl surmised that they knew Parasite would target them. They must have had some sort of contingency plan to keep anyone from getting to the engine. If Batgirl knew Bruce as well as she thought she did, the plan would involve destroying the engine before letting it fall into criminal hands.
In any case, the contingency plan was never executed. The lights flickered again as a burst of kinetic energy blew a set of doors off their hinges. Parasite strolled into the room as scientists all panicked and ran for cover. Parasite chuckled to himself as he approached the generator, but Batgirl's batarang flew directly in front of him and stuck into the ground inches from his foot. He looked up at Batgirl.
Batgirl fired her grappling gun to a rafter on the far side of the room and swung away as Parasite released a concentrated burst of kinetic energy at her. Batgirl narrowly escaped as the rafters and ceiling where she had just been were blown away.
Batgirl unhooked her grappling gun at the apex of her swing, dodging another burst of kinetic energy as she dove into a roll on the ground and sprinted for cover. She knew her best bet of stopping Parasite would be to get him to expend the energy he had absorbed until he was weak enough to take down.
"Stop right there, Parasite!"
Supergirl swooped in through the same door Parasite had entered through. Flying up into the air, she hovered over both Parasite and Batgirl with her hands rested on her hips. Batgirl figured that Wayne Enterprises security had gotten a hold of her somehow. It must have been automatic. Gotham could really learn something from Metropolis's emergency response system.
"I don't have time to waste on second-rate heroes," said Parasite.
He released a kinetic burst from the bottoms of his feet, launching him high into the air and landing him directly on top of the generator.
"Give me a lift!" called Batgirl.
Ignoring Batgirl, Supergirl turned to fly after Parasite. Not one to be left behind, Batgirl drew her grappling gun and fired it directly at Supergirl. If she wasn't going to give her a ride, Batgirl would steal one.
Things didn't work out as planned. The grappling gun hooked onto the golden belt holding up Supergirl's red skirt. Supergirl, unaware that she had been hooked, flew to the top of the generator with Parasite. Rather than lift Batgirl off the ground, the hook pulled at Supergirl's belt and ripped it away completely, taking the skirt with it.
Supergirl squealed as she was left in only her leotard, tights, cape, and boots. She instinctively covered her crotch, turning red. Batgirl stared in disbelief at what she had done. The red skirt continued to fall and landed directly on Batgirl's face before she pulled it away. Parasite doubled over laughing, clutching his side and pointing at Supergirl.
"That's rich!" he cackled, "Great teamwork, you two!"
Supergirl growled and released a huge burst of heat from her eyes, blasting Parasite with the burning energy. Parasite sighed in pleasure as he absorbed the attack before launching the energy right back at Supergirl. Supergirl was blown out of the air and landed on the floor, groaning and smoldering. Parasite laughed one last time and launched himself out through the ceiling with another huge burst of energy.
"Supergirl!" cried Batgirl, running up to Supergirl's body, "I'm so sorry, are you-?"
"He got away!" yelled Supergirl as she got to her knees, "Again! Because of you!"
"Me?" said Batgirl incredulously, "You're the one that supercharged him with that heat ray!"
Supergirl didn't respond. She rose off the ground and grabbed Batgirl by the collar of her suit. Supergirl quickly readjusted her grip to be holding Batgirl up from behind. Batgirl struggled to break free, but Supergirl already had one hand on her utility belt.
"Hey!" protested Batgirl, "What are you doing!?"
"You think pantsing me is so funny?" said Supergirl, "Well how about this?"
"Wai- Eeeeeee!" squealed Batgirl.
Supergirl had reached into the back of Batgirl's spandex, gripped her white briefs with both hands, and let Batgirl fall into the painful wedgie. Batgirl winced and squirmed as she fell deeper and deeper into the wedgie. Finally, Supergirl jerked upward on the waistband and tore it away completely, causing Batgirl to fall to the ground on her face. She groaned in embarrassment.
"Stay out of my apartment, stay out of my city," said Supergirl coldly, "and stay out of my way."
Batgirl let out a pained grunt as she got to her feet. Supergirl bolted away in a blur, leaving Batgirl there with her torn underpants dangling out the back of her costume. Batgirl had just shoved both hands down the back of her tights to fix the wedgie as the scientists came out from hiding and security and police arrived.
"What the-?" mumbled one of the police officers.
Batgirl, face red, fired her grappling gun at the blown out hole in the ceiling and reeled herself away.
"It's nice to see you, Kara," said Clark, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"You still busy dealing with that invasion?" asked Kara.
"Mostly," said Clark, "but you know how it is. J'onn and I still have to sort out the politics. With any luck I'll be back in the next couple of days. Why? Do you need help?"
"Sort of," sighed Kara.
Kara was speaking into a hologram projected by one of the many crystals in the Fortress of Solitude. Superman had constructed the cave using all available Kryptonian technology that came to Earth with him, including long range communication crystals. He always brought one with him on interstellar missions so others could get a hold of him.
"Lay it on me," said Clark.
"Well Parasite's back," explained Kara, "He's already caused a blackout and destroyed an experimental generator being developed by Wayne Enterprises."
"Is he too much for you to handle?"
"I didn't think so," said Kara, "but I keep crossing paths with this… Batgirl."
"Batgirl?"
"Yeah," said Kara, "She works with Batman. Do you know her?"
"No," said Clark, "but Batman doesn't exactly keep me apprised on his staffing decisions."
"What happened between you two anyway?" asked Kara, "I know you're not his biggest fan, but what did he do to finally cross the line for you?"
"I… That's… Well…" stammered Clark.
"What's wrong?"
"It's… kind of personal. It shouldn't affect your cooperation with Batgirl."
"Why not?"
"Like I said, it's personal."
"I feel like I deserve to know, Clark."
Clark let out a long sigh.
"Batman may have sort of," he muttered, "kind of a little bit slept with Lois Lane."
"What!?" cried Kara, "Clark, I'm so sorry! I had no idea."
"Yeah."
"Did he know that you two were-"
"Oh yeah."
"Wow," scoffed Kara, "Classy, Batman."
"So you can see why he can't be trusted."
"I can't believe Lois would do that," said Kara, "It really doesn't seem like her to cheat on-"
"It wasn't exactly cheating," admitted Clark sheepishly, "Lois and I were kind of on a break at the time."
"...so she didn't cheat on you with him?"
"Not technically, no."
"So the reason you prefer not to work with the world's greatest detective and one of the most accomplished vigilantes out there," clarified Kara, "is because one time he slept with the same woman as you."
"He's selfish, egotistical, and unpredictable," said Clark firmly.
"You mean he challenged your sense of masculinity by sleeping with a woman you felt entitled to," said Kara.
"It's not that simple."
"It sounds simple," said Kara, "Simply petty."
"Hey!"
"Clark," groaned Kara, "I've been assuming the worst about Batgirl because you've always led me to believe Batman was dangerous or something. Now I learn that you were just jealous of him sleeping with your ex?"
"I'm not jealous!" protested Clark, "I mean I wasn't jealous. And she wasn't my ex. We were just on break is all."
"Uh-huh," nodded Kara, "Thanks, Clark. This talk has been very informative."
"I'm sorry, Kara. Good luck with Parasite."
Kara nodded as she turned off the hologram. She contemplated the situation for a moment. Then she flew home in the blink of an eye, changed into her Supergirl costume, and flew out over the nighttime skyline of Metropolis.
Supergirl listened closely. Her super hearing could pick up any sound for miles; the trick was sifting through everything she heard for specific sounds. She knew what to listen for this time. She figured there'd be only one person in Metropolis using a grappling gun. Sure enough, Supergirl heard the distinct sound of the grappling hook latching onto concrete. Supergirl flew off in the direction of the sound.
"I guess this is the hotel where you're staying," said Supergirl.
Batgirl froze. She was halfway through the window on the side of the building when Supergirl appeared out of nowhere, hovering just beside her. She sighed.
"What do you want now?" asked Batgirl, "You going to give me a super swirly?"
"Gross," winced Supergirl, "No. And… I'm sorry about the wedgie."
"Tell that to the remains of my favorite undies."
"You wear your favorite undies in the field?"
"What are you doing here, Kara?"
"Look," sighed Supergirl, "We definitely got off on the wrong foot. Superman has issues with Batman, but those are his issues. There's no reason we can't work together."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Then come on in," invited Batgirl as she crawled all the way through the window, "I have some thoughts on Parasite's next target."
"There he is," said Supergirl.
"As expected," said Batgirl.
The two women were standing on the roof of S.T.A.R. Labs, from which they could see Parasite brazenly approaching the front door of the building. Batgirl repelled down the side of the building as Supergirl slowly descended.
"Well, well, well," mused Parasite, "Back for round three?"
"You could say that," replied Batgirl.
Batgirl hurled a batarang at Parasite. Parasite effortlessly snatched the weapon out of the air, vaporizing it instantly. Supergirl dove down to the ground between Batgirl and Parasite, raising both her fists to fight.
"Haven't you learned by now?" chuckled Parasite.
Parasite released a burst of kinetic energy directly at Supergirl. She took the attack head on, bracing her stance and gritting her teeth to overcome the pain as she stayed in place. Parasite chuckled and released another, much larger burst. The attack blew Supergirl away, throwing her into the side of S.T.A.R. Labs building. Supergirl fell limply to the ground, still smoldering from the attack.
"Pathetic," said Parasite, "Now you, Batgirl or whatever. Get out of my way."
"Not a chance," grinned Batgirl.
Batgirl pulled her bolas out of her utility belt and flung it at Parasite. Parasite held out his hand to stop the attack, but no burst of energy came. Parasite looked at his own hand in confusion just before the bolas enwrapped him, causing him to fall to the ground.
"What's the matter?" asked Batgirl, "No energy stored up? I guess you used it all up on Supergirl."
"And it barely even affected me," smiled Supergirl, jumping to her feet.
"You bitches!" cried Parasite, struggling with the bolas wrapped around him.
Batgirl casually held up her hand. Supergirl gave it a high five. The two smiled proudly on the defeated supervillain.
In the next exact moment, the batmobile pulled up beside the building as Superman descended from the sky. Both completely taken aback, Batgirl and Supergirl stood back to back in shock. Both Batman and Superman slowly approached the two.
"What are you doing here?" asked Batgirl.
"I got word the Metropolis branch had been attacked," whispered Batman, leaning over Batgirl's shoulder.
"I see you two seem to have Parasite taken care of," noted Superman.
"Sure do!" smiled Supergirl, "Thanks to Batgirl's plan. He wasted all of his stored up energy on me. He had nothing left to resist capture."
"Excellent work," said Batman to Batgirl.
"Both of you," added Superman emphatically.
Batman stared at Superman. Superman stared back. Both Batgirl and Supergirl looked between the two several times.
"Would you get over it!?" demanded Supergirl all of the sudden.
"What?" asked both Batman and Superman at the same time.
"So you slept with the same woman!" shouted Supergirl, "Big deal! You're both in the Justice League, for crying out loud!"
Superman looked away uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You're still mad about that?" Batman asked Superman.
"I'm working on it," said Superman.
"Working on it?" scoffed Batman, "How about you just come to terms with the fact that your girlfriend wanted to sleep with me?"
"Alright," sighed Superman.
"She had a fantastic time too," added Batman, "You know, if you two hadn't gone on break-"
"Would you stop?" asked Superman quietly.
"I'm just saying," said Batman, "She was in need of some talented loving and I just happened to-"
"Please stop," said Superman.
"What's wrong?" asked Batman, "Surely you can satisfy her as well as I did?"
"Wow," whispered Batgirl, "Batman is being a huge dick about this."
"I know," whispered Supergirl back, "I thought Superman was just being petty about it."
"That's enough," said Superman.
"What's wrong?" asked Batman, "Feeling insecure?"
"Would you cut it out!?" demanded Superman.
Batgirl and Supergirl sighed in unison. The two turned and walked away together, ignoring the bickering of their mentors behind them.
"Thank you everyone," said Supergirl into the microphone, "I appreciate you all coming. Parasite has been apprehended and is being moved to a metahuman containment cell as we speak. Does anyone have any questions?"
Supergirl stood at a podium atop a raised stage with dozens of reporters and hundreds of other observers fervorously trying to get closer to her. Among these observers was Barbara, who had managed to get close enough to the front to get a clear view of Supergirl.
"Who was it who ultimately defeated Parasite?" asked one reporter, "You or Superman?"
"Neither of us actually," said Supergirl, "Before Superman even showed up I was receiving help from Gotham's own Batgirl."
"Can you comment on her relationship to Batman?" asked another reporter, "Is it true that they're father and daughter?"
"I don't know the details of either of their secret identities," said Supergirl, "but frankly if I did, I wouldn't share them here anyway."
"What were Batman and Batgirl even doing in Metropolis in the first place?" asked another.
"I can't speak to the, um, the motivations of… Um…"
Supergirl shifted around uncomfortably at the podium. Barbara smiled to herself. Her plan was working. Moments before Supergirl left to start the press conference, Barbara had patted Supergirl on the back. When she did, she secretly wiped isopropanol on the back of Supergirl's leotard. Barbara had read all of Batman's files on Superman, including what he had on his uniform. Apparently it was a Kryptonian fabric. The material had many unusual properties, but the most interesting to Barbara had been that the material starts to shrink when exposed to isopropanol.
"Next question," coughed Supergirl, doing a small squat in place.
Barbara held in her laughter. It was working. Supergirl's leotard was surely several sizes too small by now. Barbara watched with glee as Supergirl awkwardly shifted her stance at the podium, trying to dislodge the leotard now tightly pulling up into her butt.
"Is everything alright?" asked one reporter.
"Yes!" shouted Supergirl, slightly more aggressively than intended, "I said next question!"
Supergirl presumably put two and two together, because she caught Barbara's line of sight in the crowd and glared at her. Barbara offered a smile and a shrug. This would continue for the entire press conference and until Supergirl changed out of her costume. The prank had been a success. The two of them were even; at least for now. Barbara sat back and enjoyed the rest of the conference with smug pride.