Disclaimer: All of Hellsing and its characters are copyright to Kouta Hirano. Any original characters belong to the author of this fanfiction.

HELLSING

EREBUS

Here standeth the Bird of Hermes,

Eating my own wings to make me tame...

CHAPTER ELEVEN

To Waltz With a Vampire

"You're such a little loner!" jeered one girl.

Alex, eleven, just stood there, taking the so-called insult. What was wrong with being a loner? What did that even mean? It annoyed her that this girl was using something Alex didn't even know the meaning of. A few girls always called her that, and you'd think she'd learn to look up the stupid word, but didn't truly care. She wasn't going to let insults harm her. When she was a little younger, she allowed such things to overcome her with rage, resulting in the girl biting fingers, throwing chairs, or jumping on somebody's back trying to punch their spine in. No, she wouldn't allow such things to happen again. Alex knew better now. She had no excuse in harming others just to alleviate her own anger.

Because of this, she was the target of bullying, just verbal abuse. They probably didn't get much out of picking on her, because she didn't give them the satisfaction of listening to them. It was a surprise that she wasn't beaten up for that. Maybe she put out some kind of vibe that scared them. Then again, with the teachers supervising the playground, they weren't stupid enough to start a fight. The bullying became harder to deal with, and even when she told her parents about it, they just said that it was part of growing up. So she stopped confiding in them.

"Why are you a loner?" demanded the girl.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Alex bit back coolly. "Maybe you're the loner."

The girl just laughed at her. "I'm not a loner, you loner! Unlike you, I've got friends!"

At that moment, Alex finally understood, face darkening at the revelation. "So what?"

"You're such a loner. It's really sad, in my opinion," she replied derisively, making it as though her opinion was the most important in the entire universe.

"I don't care," Alex replied back.

The other kid just snorted, displeased with Alex's claim. "Of course you care! Otherwise you wouldn't have said anything!"

This was becoming really tiring. She just wanted to spend the rest of recess walking around and imagining adventure in her head. She longed to be the heroine again in a futuristic environment, or a ninja in ancient Japan. Maybe she could pretend to fall in love with some handsome prince on a white horse. It wasn't a usual vision she conjured, but the idea did seem rather appealing. Alex had always been the hero in her daydreams, but it wasn't often that she thought about being the one rescued. Like always, Alex just walked away, insults flying at her back and over her head.

A couple years later, she found herself standing in front of her grade eight class, at a new school, in a different city. She wasn't sure what to make of the city yet, but already she felt the uncomfortable stares directed at her. It was the first day of school, but she only managed to arrive in the middle of the day, as she wasn't registered til that day. Regardless of her discomfort, she stared back, seeing that most of the stares didn't seem hostile. In fact, a good deal of them looked pretty friendly.

"Everybody, say hello to Alexandra Rows," announced the teacher warmly. There was a resounding murmur of hellos from her new classmates, making Alex flush with embarrassment from the attention. The teacher turned to her then. "Go ahead and pick a seat, Alexandra."

Alex looked to see what was available. There were two options. One was right near the front to her left, next to a boy that gave her a look she didn't like. The other was in the back in the same row. There was another boy, but he was impassive, barely paying attention. Making her way towards the back, she sat down, taking a sideways glance at him. He had dark brown hair that almost looked black, and brown eyes. He was just as fair as she was, but a bit on the thin side. Sensing that he wasn't the talkative type, she didn't say anything.

Eventually, she learned his name to be Conley Andrews. Somehow, his own loner demeanor seemed to make her want to know him more, and he did talk to her, even picking on her a bit for his own amusement. However, he never hurt her, and it was all in good fun. Maybe there was something wrong with her for believing that. It wasn't til halfway through the year did she begin to realize that she had a crush on him. And that alone made her nervous, as crushes usually do.

Sunday Morning, November 16, 2031, Hellsing Estate...

The sun shone through the window of Alex's room. Unlike her last room, which had a tiled floor, this one had a carpet of dark grey. It was smaller than the previous room, but bigger than the one she had at her old apartment. The ceiling was pretty high, a trio of windows reaching from floor to ceiling, covered with red and gold curtains. Her furniture had arrived days ago, and was accordingly set up. There was an adjoining bathroom that was just as luxurious as the previous chambers, only slightly more compact. Alex had commented that she wasn't used to such large spaces, asking for a smaller room when she was transferred.

As of right now, the sun was blaring down on Alex's slumbering form, rousing her from sleep. Eyes slowly opened, only to quickly shut again. Groaning, she rolled on her face, buried in the pillow. When she finally resurfaced to breathe, she adjusted to the light, glaring at the windows. The girl was dazed with sleep, and when she finally sat up, last's nights events surfaced sharply in her mind, collapsing to the floor as she stood up. Clutching the side of the bed, she stared wide-eyed at nothing. Did last night really happen? It all felt like a nightmare.

"I'm..." She stared at her right hand, eyes travelling to the scars on her wrist.

All this time, she had this blood running through her veins; the kind of blood that can change the physiology of vampires. Did that Lionel start changing when he'd bitten her? Did Alucard change? A couple of times, Alucard had given her the impression that she had the most delectable blood. At the time, she thought he was just taunting her. One drop of drinking her blood could potentially prove dangerous. Alucard had already told her about how ghouls quickly multiplied, thus why it was important to destroy the main vampire that created them. Currently, vampires could only be produced through biting a virgin of the opposite sex. With her, how long would it take for vampires to multiply? There was still so much she didn't understand about them yet.

"I'll be the one that ends up destroying this world," she realized quietly. No wonder Van had hesitated. She understood how dangerous her blood was now. "Why is this happening to me?" she muttered, growing even more dazed.

Sunday Afternoon, November 16, 2031, Hellsing Estate...

The tea had grown cold since it was served to the head of Hellsing. For hours, Integra had poured over the reports. The Convention of Twelve would need to be gathered soon, for they expected a report for any major developments. Now would be the time to illuminate them on what Van had unfolded before her. Blood was the currency of the soul, thus why vampirism acted the way it did, turning only the chaste into damned creatures. Vampirism only accepted the pure. But with Alexandra's blood... Was such a thing truly possible?

Shifting through the papers, she noticed an envelope. Gloved hands brushed over it lightly before lifting the parchment, turning it over, only to resist a snarl. "Vatican Special Forces, Section XIII, the Iscariots. How dare they presume they can simply come here whenever they please." Tearing the wax seal, she glared at the letter. Suddenly, there was a smile. "I suppose I can indulge their company this time."

After all, they are probably not even aware that Alucard had been back for over a year now. Plus, with Van Drake here on her request, she had three vampires in the vicinity of her home. Even the Iscariots were not foolish enough to attack a nest full of snakes with the intention of stealing their eggs. But what would they want now? Surely they didn't know about Alexandra. Thinking of the girl's safety, it would be better if she stayed away from the meeting entirely. Knowing those papists, if they knew what would happen if she ended up in the hands of vampires, they would undoubtedly kill her. Integra smirked. They could try, but they were nothing. Under her orders, Iscariot would not even lay a finger on the girl.

Speaking of which, one of the household staff had mentioned to her that Alex had not come out of her room at all, but she was awake. Frowning, she could only imagine what Alex was feeling at this moment. How else did one react when they were told that their very existence may in fact threaten the human race? No, it couldn't have been a pleasant feeling, if Alex's fainting was any indication. Like everybody else in the room, she had been shocked. Even Alucard was surprised, but he was more calm about it than anyone. Being, arguably, the first vampire, he would be.

The head stood, tossing the envelope back on her pile of mail prior to leaving the room. Eventually finding herself in front of Alex's door, white gloved knuckles rapped gently upon the door. There was no answer, knowing that she was being ignored. With an exasperated sigh, she opened the door. It was her house, she could go into any room she pleased without permission. Though she wanted to respect the girl's privacy, her recluse behaviour would be confronted. As she expected, she found Alex sitting on her bed, staring at the windows with a dazed expression.

"Miss Rows," Integra called. Alex barely acknowledged her by turning her head towards the director. "It's usually polite to respond when called."

"It's usually rude to walk into someone's room without permission," she muttered back.

The older woman smiled. Good, Alex still maintained her bite. "I wish to have a dinner companion this evening. It will be ready in twenty minutes. Please be on the terrace at six-thirty, sharp."

Integra stepped out again, closing the door behind her. Later, she had stepped out to the terrace overlooking the gardens where an orange sun was only beginning to set. And there Alex stood, dressed well and groomed accordingly. Integra found it amusing that Alex had taken her request as an order. It wasn't surprising, as she exuded authority. Alexandra just stood next to the table that had already been set with dishes.

"Good evening, Miss Rows. Please," she said, ushering to the spare seat. They both sat, Integra regarding her with her one eye as the food was then served. "Please," she said again, "eat. You've been neglecting yourself today. I'm certain you're hungry." Alex's eyes narrowed at the food. "What's the matter? Does it not look appetizing?"

"Why are you doing this?" Alex said suddenly.

With a sigh, Integra leaned back in her chair. "Because I realize that you are having trouble letting this sink in."

"I accept it just fine," she bit out. "It's...just the knowing of what will happen if I should ever end up in their hands."

There was silence. Yes, Integra thought, the girl was aware of the reality of the situation. "If you felt you had no other choice, would you choose death?" The question startled the girl. "In the end, all our efforts to protect you may fail, and that option may become available. If it became between you and humanity and all life as we know it, would you pull the trigger?"

"Are you asking me if I would kill myself?"

"Yes. In this world, sacrifices are made everyday to protect something. Whether it be family, a friend, a lover, a secret, a city, country...the world. I'm asking if you would make the sacrifice."

There was a silence that had been drawn out by them simply staring at each other. Eventually, Alex closed her eyes with a sigh. "Call me selfish, but I'd rather not die."

The elderly woman smiled then. "Good." Alex blinked. "Suicide is never the answer. Besides," she started, cutting into her chicken breast and taking a bite of the buttered meat, "Hellsing will not fail. Life is sacred. This organization will protect you until we are no longer moving or breathing."

"Why would you go to such lengths for me?"

"I'm not doing this for you," Integra replied calmly, taking another bite. When she swallowed, she continued, "I'm doing this for the fate of the entire world. If we do fail, then we'll most possibly lose everything." For awhile, Alex stared at her for a bit, then smiled. Somehow, she felt slightly better. "Alucard, on the other hand, has his own reasons."

"Alucard?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but that vampire seems to keep a special eye on you. Maybe it's because he's a vampire that he's been acting strange lately, but he was the one that caught and carried you to your chambers without so much as an order from me to do so."

"W-what?" the girl stuttered, shocked with this information. "Why would he do that?"

"Perhaps it's the orders I gave him to keep an eye on you, but he's going further than necessary. If it wasn't for his powers of Omnipresence, Mr. Drake would have been the one to catch you. He knows that, and yet he was the one to be there when you fainted." Integra looked up at Alex then, fingers clasping together in front of her face in deep thought, elbows on the table. "Has he done anything that you found...unusual?"

Thoughts raced back to that time in the library, and Alex fought against the blush that threatened to surface. "This is a vampire we're talking about, and you're asking me what's considered unusual, as if I really know?"

The woman chuckled. "Yes, of course. My apologies." She sat up straight, returning to her meal. "He also spoke highly of you when I asked what he thought of you."

"He...he did?" Another struggle with a blush occurred. "W-what did he say?"

Integra regarded her for a moment, knowing full well, as a woman, what Alex was dealing with at the moment. Alucard could, at times, be charming. He had a way of making any woman blush. She should know, Alucard had done it to her plenty of times in the past. It was difficult dealing with a vampire for a servant who knew how to rattle a woman. In the past, Integra had reprimanded him for it every time, eliciting a laugh out of him afterwards. Alucard could be really annoying, but he did have his good points. He was mercilessly honest when it came to compliments.

"He said that you had a very strong will. You accept even the impossible being possible. He finds that admirable."

"Admirable," Alex murmured softly. "I don't know if I should be considered admirable."

"You may not believe so, but I agree with him." Alex didn't hide her surprise. "You've proved to me that you have a certain resolve to take matters into your own hands rather than allow others to decide for you. For instance, when you requested to be trained instead of sticking with either of the options I presented to you. Did Alucard make the suggestion?"

Alex hesitated, but decided there would be no point in lying about it. "Yes, he did."

"Why did you decide on his option instead?"

Another pause. "I hate being dependant on others. It puts an extra burden on them, and it makes me feel weak. It's a feeling I've always hated, same with the feeling of being useless. I want to do something that has meaning rather than just sit there with people standing between me, and them."

Integra's blue eye softened at this. It was a reasonable answer. "I see." She smiled. "Eat up, Alex. You need to keep up your strength if you wish to continue your training."

Alex blinked, then smiled. "Yes, sir."

Sunday Evening, November 16, 2031, Hellsing Estate...

The dinner went through more smoothly towards the end, and after the talk with Integra, Alex actually felt better. While Alex was on her way back to her room, she heard a curious sound. Stopping to listen, she remained still, trying to decipher the sound. Music? Following after it, the sound only grew louder til she came to Alucard's mirror, the entrance to his chambers. She swallowed, pulling open the door and descending the steps more bravely than last time. Like before, the lights turned on, and she realized that maybe they were motion activated. Now that she was closer to the source, she could tell the music was a form of rock with incomprehensible lyrics, or none at all, having a bit of jazz flavour. Or was it indie? Alex never truly understood some of today's more complicated genre names anymore.

Coming up to the door, she frowned, debating whether to knock or simply walk in. Who would have thought that Alucard actually listened to music? She guessed even vampires grew bored of silence, needing music to fill it. Deciding that he probably wouldn't hear her anyway, she opened the door with the same difficulty as last time, peering inside. The vampire was present, hat and glasses set aside with his eyes closed. On the table was some kind of radio. Alex's brows furrowed and she walked inside.

The volume seemed to decrease on its own, and Alucard opened his eyes, stopping her in her tracks. Flustered for some reason, she stammered, "H-Hello."

He sent her that ominous smile. "Good evening, Miss Rows."

"I, um, heard the music," she explained. He tilted his head, a soft smile on his face now. "Also, since I'm here, I should thank you."

"Oh?"

"For catching me the other night," she replied feebly. Why did he always make he feel nervous? It wasn't like he was going to bring her any harm. Would he?

He was silent for a moment and he regarded the radio, the tuner turning itself til it was on a classical station. "Would you permit me a dance?"

She blinked. "What?"

The Count moved to his feet, walking over to her slowly. "I wish to share a dance with you," he explained, now standing before her, extending his hand out. "Consider it a way of repaying me for catching you."

Alex stared at it, gulping some. He's in a weird mood tonight, she thought. Slowly, she took his hand, which had gripped hers gently, thumb going over the tops of her fingers. The other gloved hand went to her waist, taking her by surprise when he began to move, pulling her close. Awkwardly, she tried to follow his movements, making the weirdest face ever that just made him grin in delight at her expressiveness.

"I-I never danced like this before!" she confessed sheepishly.

"Just follow my lead," he instructed.

Alex watched his boots, mirroring his movements as he slowed down for her benefit. One, two, three. One, two, three. She kept count in her head, eventually getting the hang of it. "Don't you dare start swinging me around," she warned, visibly frightened of the concept.

"What? Like this?" He spun her around like a ballerina, eliciting a shriek from her, catching her waist and tipping her down. "I think you're a natural, my dear."

She flushed, making that face that was a cross between a restrained pout and frown. It was the same face she made when she was trying hard not to laugh. "Why did you want to dance?" she forced out.

He stood her up again, resuming the waltz. "Why else would anyone want to dance with a beautiful woman?"

Though she had tried desperately to hide her redness, she failed, even her ears lighting up. What was he talking about? She wasn't beautiful! Well, she was okay in terms of looks, but he exaggerated with such a compliment. Hearing this thought, Alucard held no emotion in his features. Did she truly doubt her own beauty? There has always been more than one form of it.

"Don't think such things," he said, almost demanding it, stopping their movements. Crimson eyes stared seriously at her now. "Alexandra, you don't realize your own worth."

Alex frowned at him. Worth? Did it have to do with her blood? No, his look said that it wasn't the case. Alucard regarded her, watching as the confusion played over her face. It truly was fascinating to watch her go from one mood to another. When she lowered her gaze to stare at his chest, deep in thought, he only brought her face up again, nudging up her chin. Briefly, he thought of kissing her, his expression soft with his calculative debate. If he did, it'd be the first time in centuries that he had tasted her lips, and that was truly enticing. On the other hand, he wanted her to come to him of her own will, like she did now.

For now, he settled on just reassuring her. "Beauty is perceived differently by everyone." Alucard watched her expression turn into sadness. "You're beautiful," he breathed.

Alex made that face of restraint again, but it was sadder, and she lowered her gaze again, which he allowed. "I've been called that before, and the meaning is always lost on me. When you say it though, it's...different somehow." She closed her eyes, and much to his own surprise, leaned her forehead against his chest. "I have a confession to make."

"Oh?" Intrigued, he listened, resisting the urge to remove his gloves to touch her hair. It was bad enough that he had resisted the urge the other night. He then settled them on her shoulders. The contact was enough, for now.

"I touched your coffin." After a moment, she coughed. That sounded a lot more innocent in her head. He couldn't resist the grin, his mind in a dirty place. "I mean, your box...the...thing you sleep in," she added frantically, blushing furiously now.

"Why's that?" he said calmly, purely amused at her guilt and embarrassment.

Again with the comical face, though he couldn't see it now. "Um, I was curious. I just put my head on it, and then I heard your heartbeat, and I nearly fell asleep the first time, and then the second time I did it, I really did fall asleep, but just for a minute." She was rambling now, and she knew it. The girl felt like she was a child trying to explain her misdeeds before the inevitable scolding. "I also sat in your chair. I didn't know it was yours though until I saw your coffin, I swear!"

In anticipation, she tensed up, expecting him to lash out. When nothing came, she dared to peer upward, only to find his hair in his face. He was shaking now, and she couldn't help but feel panic swell in her chest. And then he let slip a laugh. It was small. The next was louder, only to be joined by further chuckling. He kept it light though, his shoulders shaking and jumping as the vampire tried to stop.

"You're...lovely," he murmured, his smirk visible. Alex stared, and before she could register what was happening, he grabbed her gently by the chin, leaning in. For one heart stopping moment, Alex feared what he was up to. He stopped, a mere inch away from her lips. He stared at them for a moment, then leaned closer to her ear instead. "Does the sound of my dead heart soothe you?" he breathed.

Lips went slightly ajar, eyelids sliding down halfway, her body shivering. "Yes," she confessed quietly. She felt...hypnotized. "What are you doing to me?" Why did she feel sleepy?

He nuzzled just behind her ear, whispering, "You may listen to it whenever you wish, my dear Alexandra."

Then she heard it, his heart. Or was her own drumming inside her head? Alucard must have been putting her under some kind of spell, because she was suddenly so tired. He'd also ignored her question. Did she even utter it? Did he not hear her? The man that easily towered over her was doing something strange. She felt him nose her hair. The sensation felt oddly familiar, as if it had been done to her a million times before, and by him no less. She felt so weak against this vampire, and try as she might, she couldn't fight him. Somehow, she didn't really want to. Was this the power of a vampire?

Alucard was indulging himself. He couldn't help it. The confession she made only made his need to touch her all the more irresistible. He knew upon his return that she had not slept much. Her body was feeling sluggish. Even though she had rested fully the night before, she was still weak. As he slowly put her under, his hands slid up her arms, over her shoulders, cupping her face. How badly he wanted to taste those lips. But not yet, and certainly not now when she was only half aware. Even now his fangs ached. It was much too risky.

"Sleep," he commanded softly.

After a moment, her body went limp, an arm already around her waist. Hooking the other under her legs, he carried her stealthily to her room. With a flash of his eyes, her door opened, and he kicked it back closed once inside. The same power was used to pull back the blankets. One knee braced on the mattress, the vampire leaned over, laying her down gently. Once the blankets had covered her, he stepped back, reminded of how Katarina used to sleep. Closing his eyes with a frown, he was then gone, leaving the girl to sleep.

A/N: Finally got this one done. Rewrote it a couple of times in certain parts, deleted other parts. WAS going to have Van and Seras in this chapter, but the scene I had written was cutting into the scene I really wanted to write, which is where Alucard asks Alex for a dance. For once, Alex has a memory flashback. I'll be adding more memories for Alex throughout the story, which will explain why she is the way she is, and stuff. IT'S IMPORTANT PLOT POINTS. Okay, not really. It's really just character development. NEXT CHAPTER, I dunno if I'll be able to finish it tonight, but I'll try to finish it by sometime tomorrow. If I'm not brain dead, you may get it really late in the night. I will give you a little spoiler though. It's going to include Iscariots. Spoilers Done.

Anyway, that's all I've got to say here. So please leave a review, a question, your thoughts, and thank you for reading!