3 chapters to go

Recap: Ana was shot in the stomach by Jack and taken to hospital where she had surgery. When she woke up Christian was at the hospital waiting for her. He explained to her about the surgery she had and Jack's death. Ana told Christian to kiss her and after a week in hospital it was time for Ana to go home. Christian has decided that Ana is going to live with him at Escala until she is better.

Huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, follow, favourite and review this story so far! Chapter 15 is going to be the last one for this story. I'm toying with the idea of a sequel but I'm not 100% sure yet. What are your thoughts on that?

Disclaimer: Fifty Shades of Grey and its original characters do not belong to me

Poison Apple: Chapter 13: Home Sweet Escala

Ana
I've never been to Escala before but I've heard Kate talk about it before. She has been here a few times with Elliot and I remember her telling me how beautiful it was and how she wished she lived somewhere like that but it wasn't until I walked out of the elevator and into the apartment that I knew what she was talking about. The place was... breathtaking... I honestly cannot put into words how amazing Escala was. I thought the parking lot was amazing, I thought the cars belonged to everyone in the building but it turns out all of the cars belong to Christian.

Of course I knew Christian was a multi billionaire who like the really fine things in life but this was taking it to a whole other level. The artwork, the wine, the piano, the views and the staff... I feel like I'm living on a different planet and I feel really out of place. This sort of apartment is not made for people like me to live in; I'm scared to walk on the floor in case I leave a mark.

Christian said he had set up a room for me upstairs, I haven't made it up there yet but to be honest I was a little disappointed. Christian and I are sort of together without the official label and I thought we might share his room, we spent a couple of nights cuddling on my hospital bed but I guess he has different ideas. Christian is a very complicated man with complicated thoughts and feelings... so Kate and Elliot tell me... maybe he's not on the same page as me. We haven't really had the chance to speak about things properly and decide what we're doing.

Christian walking down the stairs brought me out of my thoughts. I had been ordered to sit on the couch and make myself comfortable, which I have been doing. He smiled as he walked over to me, I smiled back and he sat down beside me taking my hand in his. The perfect fit.

"Everything is set up for you upstairs. My room is across from yours if you need anything during the night," He told me.

"What if I need a cuddle?" I asked.

"Just focus on getting better," He replied and let go of my hand, standing from the couch and making his way to the kitchen "Your medication is due," He stated.

"Christian-"

"You have to eat with these so Mrs Jones made a meal for you," He said cutting me off.

"Mrs Jones?"

"My housekeeper and cook," He answered.

"Of course she is," I muttered with a small eye roll, of course Christian has a housekeeper and cook, he has everything else.

"Did you say something?" Christian asked.

"Nope." I replied.

As lovely as it is having him taking care of me, I know it won't be forever and I have to get used to the idea that Christian probably won't be around forever. The sooner I get better the sooner I can go home and put some distance between us because I feel like he really isn't as into me as I first thought, I don't want to fall hard for someone like him and be pushed back harshly. Christian is an amazing man but I don't know if he's the amazing man for me, if he can't even tell me how he feels then I don't see much of a future, if any, for us.

"You look deep in thought, are you ok?" Christian asked as he placed a tray down in front of me with my food, a glass of water and my medication in a small plastic cup.

"I'm fine," I replied but even I didn't believe that.

"You can talk to me you know," He said.

"It doesn't matter, I'm fine. I'll just take the medication and go lie down for a little while, get some rest," I told him.

"Your food-"

"I'm not really that hungry," I cut him off.

"Oh," He looked down at the plate of food and opened his mouth to say something but decided against it "I'll show you up to your room," He stood up and outstretched his hand to me. I took his hand and hissed in when I stood from the movement, it still hurt. Christian grabbed my medication and the glass of water in the other hand and started leading me towards the stairs "Everything you need is in there but if I have missed something then let me know and I'll get it for you," He told me as we started walking, slowly, up the stairs.

"I appreciate all of this." I commented and he just gave me a small smile in return.

We approached the top of the stairs and Christian led me to the room at the end of the hall, he opened the door and I found a room that to be honest, looked much better than my own bedroom. The bed was larger and looked like I could sink into it, my bags were empty and put to the side so I'm guessing my clothes had been put away into the beautiful mirrored wardrobe and matching drawers. I noticed folded up towels on the dresser and en suite bathroom... wow this room had everything.

Christian helped me get into the bed and gave me the medication and glass of water, which I took, he pulled the covers over me and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, it felt nice to have him that close. He pulled away within a second and started walking out of the room. As he reached the door he turned back to look at me, I smiled and he smiled back before closing the door.

Christian
I sat on the edge of Ana's bed and watched her as she slept; she looked so peaceful and beautiful. I wanted to reach out and touch her face but I was scared of waking her up. She needs her sleep and her rest after everything that she has been through. I hate that she had to go through everything that she did and I wish I had done more to stop it happening, I want to protect her but I've proved that I'm not capable of doing that, even with all the security I have at my disposal. After everything she has been through she deserves to live the rest of her life happy, safe and loved and I thought could be me but now I'm not so sure.

When Ana was in hospital the two of us seemed to be progressing. We were kissing and I was sleeping in her hospital bed at times, just holding her and I'm guessing by Ana's little comment about needing a cuddle that she was hoping things were going to progress between us but I'm not good at this... relationships... I'm a really messed up person with some fucked up things in my life and I don't want to expose Ana to them, it will scare her away.

I would love to be with Ana but I'm fifty shades of fucked up and I don't think she could handle it. I wouldn't want her to handle it after what Jack did to her, she would realise that there really isn't much difference between me and Jack and she would leave me. No matter what happens, Ana will leave me, everyone does and I've grown to be ok with that and not let myself get too caught up with others but with Ana it's different.

I'm not even sure if I am making sense but I know what I mean... I'm not good enough for Ana and I think Ana knows that. If she knew the real me, the real fifty shades of fucked up version of me she would know that we are too different.

The bed shifted and Ana's eyes started to flutter open, I smiled at her as she looked over at me, she gave me a small smile back and tried to sit up but she was struggling. I got off the bed and rushed round the bed to help her.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her softly.

"Like I've been shot," She sighed and I could tell her stomach was hurting her.

"What can I do?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'll be fine," She answered and let out a huge sigh as she rested back into the pillows I propped up for her.

"Do you want something to drink? Something to eat?" I questioned.

"Christian I'm ok," She said and I noticed that she sounded slightly annoyed.

"I'll give you some space." I stated and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I put my hands in my jeans pockets as I started making my way down the hallway when I felt the key in my pocket. I changed my direction and went to the playroom, using the key I unlocked the door and went inside. I didn't want Ana to find me in here or this room if she went wondering so I locked the door behind me. I turned the lights on and looked around the room... this room was my fifty shades of fucked up room. This whole room was everything that was wrong with me, I know that this isn't a normal every day thing to have some kind of sex dungeon but it's the only thing that gives me the release and pleasure I need.

From the moment I was born my whole life was fucked up. My birth mother was a prostitute and drug user, she died when I was very young after a drug overdose and it took a few days for someone to come to the apartment and find me looking for scraps of food. I was brought to the hospital where Grace treated me and then her and Carrick adopted me and made me one of their children. I can never thank them enough for everything they have done for me but by the time they adopted me the damage was already done to me and my brain.

I spent a lot of my school years fighting and getting into trouble and then Elena Lincoln came into my life. She was... is... a friend of my mothers and she introduced me into a world where I could forget about all of the messed up things in my brain and find some kind of release. I was really happy with Elena for a while but I wanted more, she helped me be more and be more confident and I owe her a lot.

I don't think anyone else would see it that way, including my mother.

Not the longest chapter I know but it is a good set up for the next chapter. We can see where Ana and Christian are right now, how they are feeling and what is going through both their minds. I hope Christian and Ana can see past the niggling thoughts in their brain and make it work.

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