Monday: Choosing Day.
My eyes flew open at that thought. The sun had just risen, 7 am. Three hours before I leave my faction behind. It was bittersweet, leaving Amity. Sensing my distress and sudden shaky breaths, Gunner comes to my side, snuggling up to provide moral support for things he didn't understand. I spend a few minutes on my bed, hugging my dog close as I try to commit everything to memory. My plain room with simple beige walls, with pictures of my dogs and I stuck all over. There's a wooden wardrobe by the toilet door, containing clothes of Amity colors: red, orange, yellow.
A knock sounds at the door, and I brace myself. Without a moment to spare, it's forced open as my dogs do their routine wake-up call: Jumping on my bed and invading my personal space. I giggled as a mass of silver and fawn fur pin my sheets down, sniffing and licking my face. Gunner huffs and hops off the bed, passing my dad at the doorway in mild irritation. "Choosing ceremony." he greets, lips pursed.
"Choosing ceremony." I parrot back, my expression mirroring his as the air turns somber.
"Breakfast's downstairs," he says – an attempt to break the awkward silence that had fallen. I nod in response as he slips out of my room, closing the door to give me privacy. After reciprocating the morning greeting, I quickly brushed my teeth. Deciding for once to ditch my red pleated skirts, I slip on dark brown jeggings and paired it with a maroon shirt. It'll have to do, mother said that Dauntless starts their initiation the moment I leave the ceremony – with running.
Slipping on a hair tie on my wrist, I check my reflection one last time in my room. Green eyes stare back at me, excitement and sadness fighting for dominance. Round eyes, button nose, pink bow-shaped lips. My brown hair came down to my shoulders, slightly wavy but relatively straight. I have to thank my mother for my good looks, for I most resembled her. All except my eyes, those came from Adrian. He seems to love that fact, occasionally boasting it to his wife whenever I wear a dress that makes my eyes pop.
I turn my attention to the pictures posted all around the mirror. Each one showing my dogs and I playing or snuggling together in various stages of their lives. I pluck a small polaroid, it was a picture of us in the fields during sunset. John had tagged along that day, whipping out his camera when he saw the picture-perfect moment. Gunner was lying in front of me, staring straight into the camera in all his majestic glory. I sat cross-legged behind him, hands supporting my back. Sabre had crept from behind me, pouncing and licking my face right when I didn't expect it. The picture was him in a mid-lick, his tongue on my cheek while was my head was turned to the side, scrunched up and squealing. For Hawk, only his face was visible. He was in the middle of sniffing the camera, I was surprised he didn't take up half of the picture. His face was comical and slightly blurred, his black nose bigger than my head. He looked kind-of stupid, with his eyes so close that it looked crossed. I love it. Tucking the palm-sized image into my bra, I head out of my room.
Breakfast was a quiet affair. My parents dressed in their Amity best, which wasn't much compared to Erudite and Candor. We occasionally exchange small talk, unsure of what to say.
Before we left the house, I slip on harnesses onto my dogs, as well as leashing them. I know the separation wasn't going to go down well, so I'm prepared for the worst. We made our way to Johanna's office-stable, customary for all who's attending the ceremony. The walk is silent, me pondering about my new life while my parents comfort each other. The hounds seem excited, tails wagging and noses sniffing, they must think that we are going on an adventure. Leashes always mean new adventures.
"Anna." Johanna greets, pulling me into an embrace. She gives me a comforting squeeze before pulling away.
"Johanna."
A beat passes. Johanna has been supportive of the dogs since day one. Despite supposedly being the representative of our faction, she too doesn't trust the rest to play their part in keeping the peace. She was the one who suggested attack dogs, having Adrian visit the Erudite library to find out more about how dogs were used before the Great War. Dad left the dogs' genetic makeup to me, trusting that I'll pick dogs with good temperaments and physique.
Gunner is a german shepherd. He's the bravest and most courageous of the three, and if Dauntless were to ever have a mascot, it would be him. The only feature I tweaked about the sable-colored dog is his territorial tendencies, swapped and heightened with a Bullmastiffs'.
Sabre is built like the killer he is. The consequences of mixing his genes with a grey wolf – for stronger jaws – is his volatile playfulness and his occasional need for howling. He's noticeably larger compared to a normal Belgian Malinois, though, not bigger than Gunner. However, he is marginally taller.
Hawk is the smallest. He's an escape artist, a result of sharing the intelligence of a Border Collie. The fawn-colored Belgian Malinois is typically quiet, spending most of his time analyzing situations if he isn't playing with Sabre. Hawk is the one I've spent the most time on during training, his capability to pick up on things never cease to amaze me. The downside of this dog is his sudden whims to herd when he sees the sheep grazing in the fields. Gunner and Sabre often join in, their breed originally being herders themselves. Most of the time it causes a ruckus since the sheep are more used to the smaller less vicious border collies farmers use.
Out of the three, Hawk is always the first to befriend a stranger. He's queer in a way that he often craves the attention of people around over mine; not that I'm complaining - Sabre and Gunner are a handful already.
Johanna turns to the three hounds that flank my side. "Don't worry. They'll be safe with me." She says.
I try to smile back, but I can't. I'm a mother who's abandoning her children. Though it will only be temporary, it does nothing to lessen the pain. "I know you will." I take a deep breath. "Thank you so much, for everything."
I hug my leader once more, before going down on a knee to my dogs. Seeing that I needed space, she backs off, turning to greet other 18-year-olds and their families with wide smiles. Gunner's the first to come to me. He always knows when I'm down, a skill he picked up after spending most of his life by my side. Grabbing the scruff around his neck, I leaned my forehead against his. "I love you," I whisper. I kiss him on the top of his head and pull him close, uncaring of the loose fur that will litter my shirt. My actions seem mechanic as I do the same for Hawk, then Sabre, though my heart beats erratically, breaking a little bit more as I let go of each one. I will not cry. I will not cry. The mantra repeats itself in my head. My dogs stare up at me, questioning and worried. I will not cry.
"So the beasts get hugs and kisses while I don't?" A man huffs playfully a few feet away, arms crossed and an eyebrow perked. At his voice I drop the leashes, a genuine smile gracing my face. I launch myself at him, his arms immediately encircling my waist, crushing me to his chest. 'Anna.' He greets belatedly.
"John." I pipe back, my hands pulling down his head to kiss his cheek. "I'll miss you."
"You better." His response is immediate, making me smack the upside of his head. John bursts out laughing, his chest bouncing and shaking me with him. He picks me up and spins me, eyes full of mirth as I squeal and cling onto him tightly. "I'll see you soon?"
"You will." At my reassurance, he tightens his hold. We stay like that for a few seconds, soaking up the last moments. To others, we seem like the perfect Amity couple, all laughter and embraces. John's woman was going to be one lucky ass.
Releasing me, John moves to pick up the abandoned leashes, "they'll be safe."
I smile back, this time, it doesn't quite reach my eyes. "Try not to get yourself killed in the process alright?" I attempt to joke.
John chuckles and shakes his head. "You don't say so yourself." I glance around to check if anyone's watching us, then flip him the bird.
"Stay," I tell my dogs, holding out my hand. They obediently do so, Hawk and Gunner lie down to get comfortable. Sabre wags his tail once before it falls flat. "I love you," I repeat, eyes meeting each one as I say them.
It was time. The trucks are starting to fill out with people, all of them talking animatedly or singing folk songs. My parents wave me over to one of the trucks and I turn. As I was about to reach them, something occurs in my mind. "Oh and John?"
'Yeah?' He stands watching me, the dogs in the position I left them.
"If they ever get out of hand, remember to feed-"
"Yes yes. I know," he waves off nonchalantly. "Shoo!"
I send him one more smile and climb into the truck, leaving my old life behind.
The hall is packed with people. I hurry to the Amity portion – smacked in the middle – and take a seat with my parents. With them sitting on either side of me, they embrace me and kiss my cheeks, telling me how proud they are, and how they know I'll do well in Dauntless. I smile and believe them. After all, I have been preparing for this since 16.
The ceremony starts with Johanna speaking of the history of the factions. Each faction cheers loudly at the mention of their own, with Dauntless being the wildest and the exception of Abnegation deciding that applause would suffice. Within moments, names are called and knives are passed. Each new knife a new life determined. The Amity is last to go, as we are the hosting faction.
"Anna Laker." I jerk from my seat, my heart suddenly beating miles an hour. My parents squeeze my hands in reassurance; I squeeze back. "I love you," I whisper, smiling at them.
Rising from my seat, I tense my legs as I walk to the stage. My knees are shaking and gooseflesh appear at the number of stares on my back. Johanna passes me the dagger, and mouths 'be brave.' I nod stiffly, taking a deep breath and make a small incision in my palm. As the blood begins to pool I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I can do this. I think the hall is silent, but I know there were still mutters. No one cared what you chose, they were probably forced into coming to show face.
I see a vision, a life of happiness and no worries – Amity. Do I want to leave? Especially with what's starting to brew between Dauntless and Erudite, and the newest malicious leader: Eric? Do I want to be caught up in this mess? I think back to my parents. They told me they transferred because they believed in peace among all. Amity is peace. They transferred because they didn't want to be in the loop when everything heads south, not trusting their factions to not be conspiring. I believe in peace, and I want peace. To achieve that, I'll need to dive into the heart of the problem. That's the only thing that makes me different from them. And sometimes, you must be the change you wish to see in the world.
At that, I spill my blood over the coals, the sizzling blood echoes the walls.
"Dauntless!"
Now, it was truly silent. What did I expect? The last transfer between Amity and Dauntless was more than twenty years ago – my mother. I wipe my non-bloodied sweaty palm on my pants, hands suddenly growing cold. Then the gasps start, and then the murmurs. I wince and glance at my previous faction, shock and horror evident on each face. I suppose I am a traitor, going against everything Amity stands for. They were so wrong. My eyes drift to my parents. They're smiling at me, pride and love shining through. I smile back and turn away, stumbling off the stage and grabbing some gauze Johanna had thoughtfully prepared for my hands.
And then it was like a dam broke. The Dauntless who've just recovered from their shock jump from their seats. They cheer and hoot loudly, it was louder than I've ever heard today. Some move forward to congratulate me and pat my back. I don't suppress the grin on my face as I move to take a seat one of them offered me. As the cheering slowly die down, which took much longer than usual, the ceremony continued.
I sit beaming as members of Dauntless throw full-blown grins at me, some telling me how brave I am. Suddenly curious, I turn from my seat and look around, trying to gauge the transfers. All Erudite and Candor. One of the Erudite boys stood out, mostly because he was glaring at me. My eyes narrow. Huh. The boy had dirty blonde hair, and oddly enough, muscles budging at his suit, resulting in the suit being tight around his torso.
Johanna finishes the ceremony by congratulating the 18-year-olds and wishing them well. The moment she concludes the ceremony, the Dauntless stand to leave. I run alongside them as they make their way down the building, running and hooting like hooligans. Joy bubbles my chest as I follow them; quickly tying my hair into a ponytail. As the Dauntless make their way to the railway tracks, I notice some of the transfers' steps faltering. We had to climb the beams to board the train. For once, I'm grateful for spending my childhood climbing trees, Dad said I could've broken my arm – which I did – but that's okay.
Effortlessly, I scale the beams that held the tracks, eyes always on the next step I take, never looking down. I was the second transfer to reach, with the bulky Erudite being the first. Someone had definitely been practicing.
"Tree-hugger! Hey!" a voice sounds to the right of me. It belonged to a Dauntless-born, he seems out of breath for some odd reason. I bit back a snarky remark, didn't need to make enemies on the first day of initiation. The boy continues after he takes a few breaths, realizing that I wasn't going to respond. "How" Pant. "Did you" Pant. "Climb the beams so fast?" he forces out the last part in one breath. I chuckle at how comical he looks, with his brunette hair sticking out in odd places, he didn't seem to have ill intentions.
"I'm a tree-hugger remember? I climb trees for fun." The boy grows red at my response, suddenly realizing how stupid his question was. His group of friends – another brunette boy and a blonde girl – laughs at him, slapping him on his back while he scratches his neck.
"I like you. I'm Skylar" The girl pipes, extending a hand out for me to shake. I blink once before clasping her hand stiffly in mine, Amity doesn't shake hands. She wiggles our hands awkwardly in what I assume is a handshake before letting go. "Idiot here is Jace. He's more muscle than brain."
"Hey!"
I chuckle. "I can tell."
"And this is Zack" Skylar introduces, gesturing to a slightly shorter boy beside her. He extends his hand in greeting, a grin on his face. I do my best to return the gesture, forcing myself to relax my arm as he shakes our hands.
"I'm Anna," I say. Just then, the platform beneath us rumbles. The train was heading to us quickly, and it didn't seem to be slowing. The Dauntless-born starts running with the train, I follow at their heels. As the train approaches, I watch them hurl themselves into the open carriages. Crazy people. Grabbing the handle by the door, I do my best to copy their actions. I stumble slightly as I yank myself into the carriage, scurrying further into the cart before I stand. Members and transfers pile in behind me, all landing with various stages of success.
I find the group of Dauntless-born and sit with them. We converse among each other, consisting mainly of me answering questions on what Amity was like. I don't tell them about my dogs. It was a hard task to do, considering that my final years in Amity revolved around them. I ask about their lives; apparently, the trio had been inseparable since high school. Skylar mentions that she's seen me around a few times in history class. She asks if I had any friends in Amity, I say no. She's surprised, considering that I seem nice. I shrug in response, leaning against the car for the rest of the ride.
Jace's the one who shakes me awake. My eyes crack open to see that the Dauntless initiates were getting onto their feet. We're near the headquarters. Thanking Jace, I move to stand and pop my neck, following them to the opposite end of the car's opening. The Dauntless members continue to sit on the floor, wishing us good luck. I guessed that there were two ways into the compound, with this method being less favored. The initiates take a running start, with the Dauntless-borns leading the way. I don't pause before following them.
Most of the transfers hesitate, seemingly bewildered and horrified of the concept of doing a dangerous stunt in the only faction known for it. As the initiates leap off the car, I do the same. My eyes flash briefly at the ground as I fall weightless in the air, a large gap between the train tracks and roof. We are a few stories up, mild panic fills my chest. Heights was something I always hated. The fear had developed after I fell off the tree when I was ten. After that, I've always avoided looking down from high buildings. The panic disappears just as fast as it appeared. My hands and knees slam onto gravel, the rocks digging into my palms. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, eyes probably budging in shock.
I made it.