Chapter 1

Same Story, Different Fox

"All right, just need to tighten this…done. Then clamp this down…gah!"

Tails lurched back nearly falling off the stand, clutching his right hand with a mixture of pain and frustration. Mostly frustration.

"That's the seventh time today! How do I keep managing to do that?"

He knew the answer, he just didn't want to say or acknowledge it.

"Forget it, I'll just try again tomorrow…maybe the day after"

As Tails packed his tools back into the toolbox, he thought about how long he had been working on this new project. A new plane that was supposed to be fast enough and capable enough to put the X-Tornado to shame. It took him three weeks to build the X-Tornado, and two of those had been spent simply drawing up the blueprints and collecting the necessary parts. He had been working on this one for a month, half drawing up designs and the other attempting to start the framework.

"it's just not the same. It just doesn't feel right anymore." Tails said to himself, a clear air of indifference in his voice. It had been five months since they returned home. Five months of meaninglessness, of being hollow. Sure, he had hopped in the plane and sped off to battle Eggman whenever needed…at least after the second month. And he had grown accustomed to putting on a facade of healing in the last three, but he was still almost as empty and lost as he had been at the beginning.

"At least I can actually push myself to go places now"

The first month he hadn't been willing to leave his house, not even to enter his workshop. Even now there seemed to be so little point in trying to build things anymore. The interest had left him, that spark and drive had gone too. He wasn't the same fox anymore, he was a husk.

"It's just not the same" The kitsune repeated to himself as he stepped into the doorway leading out of the workshop. At this point the line was almost becoming a mantra for him.

"It'll never be the same…not without you"

Taking one last look at the garage, noticing the state of disrepair and clutter, the remains of abandoned projects littering the place, the fox breathed a heavy sigh that screamed of barely held back pain. He turned off the light and shut the door, beginning the almost autonomous walk back to the house. It certainly felt like his body was operating on it's own, because he certainly didn't have any will with which to control it.

In a manner of speaking, Miles Prower had also died that horrible day five months ago.

Stepping into his room, the fox took notice of how much of a disaster it was. Looking as though one of Eggman's robots had torn the place apart. The only part that was neatly kept was a small corner near his bed, containing only a wide table holding a few framed photos, a blue flower brooch, and several other belongings. All related to one person.

Looking at the corner, Tails' eyes widened, mentally slapping himself for being so careless.

"I forgot to say goodnight to Cosmo!"

Rushing downstairs and out his backdoor, Tails crossed his backyard until he came upon a large tree. The tree had pale bark and pink leaves that almost seemed to glow, even in the dark of night.

"H-Hello Cosmo" Tails whispered, trying to hold himself together, he had taken to referring to the large tree as Cosmo. He did so partly because he still held out hope that she could somehow return through it, an partly because it gave him the slightest measure of comfort.

"In a sense I'm not wrong, she came from the seed, and that was all that was left of her, so I-she is a part of her" He thought, having nearly slipped and referred to the tree as an it. No, he couldn't do that, he had to say she, it was the only way to hold what remained of him together.

"Sorry I almost forgot to say goodnight to you, I've been running on basically nothing today…" Placing a hand of the trunk, he struggled to keep himself together, struggled to avoid collapsing at the base of the tree and just giving up. Nonetheless, the tears started flowing, running down his cheeks as he cracked a half-hearted smile.

"Remember the party you threw for all of us? When you and I were alone gazing out at the stars I tried to tell you how beautiful you we-are. I only wish I hadn't chickened out at the last second"

This memory did bring a genuine smile to his face, albeit a small one.

"I should have told you how I felt, how much better everything was when you were near, how much I loved you"

His ability to refer to her as if she was still there crumbling, the pained kistune trembled with barely contained sobs. It was unbearable not being able to hear her, see her, feel her.

"I just wish you could be here again, I need you Cosmo…I need you"

Managing to compose himself after several minutes the fox straightened up, and kissed the trunk before whispering.

"Goodnight Cosmo, I love you"

With his body running on it's own once more, Tails walked back to his house and up to his bedroom. Remaining completely silent he removed his gloves, socks and shoes before climbing into bed. There was no need to turn off the light, he had never even bothered to turn it on to begin with. Sitting up in his bed to take on last look out his bedroom window and seeing the almost luminescent tree still as he had left it, he fell back onto his pillow and desperately tried not to cry himself to sleep.

As he did every night.

Out in the backyard, the wind picked up from being still to a gentle breeze causing the trees leaves and branches to gently shift. As this was happening, the pale trunk of the tree suddenly began to glow a very faint yet familar green.

"...Tails"

The next morning wasn't any kinder, Tails struggled to even open his eyes, not due to fatigue but rather a lack of desire to. After five minutes he eventually convinced himself to get out of bed. Mere moments later his doorbell rang.

"Of course, of course someone would show up now" He muttered to himself, groaning and immediately heading downstairs to answer without even attempting to make himself look halfway decent. Shortly making his way to the front door he opened it to find Sonic standing there looking rather concerned.

"Man Tails, I was beginning to think you weren't home!"

"Sonic, I just woke up! How long could you have possibly been standing here?"

"Ten minutes"

"Well, that's what happens when you show up in the morning"

At this, Sonics expression went from slightly peeved to a mixture of confusion and concern.

"Tails, it's noon…"

Though Tails didn't react facially, his body shifted slightly. Sure to him it was morning, but to everyone else it was noon, his friends were completely unaware that he had been sleeping in every day.

And he intended to keep it that way.

"Minor slip up, I-I meant I've been busy organizing things and was too far back in the house to hear" Tails hoped that Sonic would buy it and just consider it another careless slip of the mind do to his usual forgetfulness.

Sonic wasn't about to give him that though.

"Tails, you can be forgetful or absentminded at times but you've never said you were doing one thing only to say you didn't. What's really going on?" Sonic asked, his brow furrowing slightly, hoping his bro would spill it.

"...What do you want Sonic?"

Sonic was slightly taken aback by the fox's blunt and slightly venomous tone. He hadn't snapped at him like that before…except for…

"Tails, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine"

Sonic knew better, he had known Tails long enough to be able to detect little changes in the fox's voice when he was lying or tying to hold something back. Not to mention he suddenly noticed how unkempt he looked.

"Tails, I'm not buying it"

"Buying what?"

"This whole I'm fine even though I look like a wreck and can't even seem to remember what I've been doing thing"

"...I'm just spacing out today, that's all"

Sonics expression softened a little, on the outside it seemed that he was starting to believe what Tails was saying, and Tails was hoping this was the case. In actuality though, he was just putting deeper thought into why his best buddy was being so evasive.

"This just isn't like him, he's been opening up and talking for a few months now" He thought as he stared at Tails.

"Plus, he's never really been one to keep secrets, least of all to me. The only time he's ever shut himself off from me was when-"

And suddenly it hit him.

"Tails, please talk to me"

Tails knew Sonic was catching on, and his stone-faced façade started to crumble, beginning to show signs of nervousness.

"W-What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can tell you're not feeling okay, and I also know you too well to think you'd allow yourself to look this ragged at this time of day"

Sonic was pushing past his barriers and Tails was becoming desperate to keep the truth from being exposed. But for the life of him he just couldn't think of a plausible excuse.

"It was a simple mess up Sonic, you know how forgetful I can be, ha ha" Tails' tone and laugh practically screamed of anxiety. And Sonic knew he had him on the ropes.

Time for the final push.

"Tails…I'm not an idiot, I know this is about her" He replied with extra emphasis on the word her, going as far as to lean slightly to further crumble his bro's resolve.

This proved to be a mistake however as hearing Sonic mention his lost love only caused him to tighten up again, he would not let Sonic use her name against him.

"Don't go there Sonic…" Tails replied ominously, his threatening tone managing to shake Sonic down to his core. Tails had never threatened him before.

"Tails…" Sonic briefly struggled in words. "I'm not trying to anger you, or condemn you but I can see your in pain. I don't want you locking up again, I know your still grieving over Cos-"

"Sonic is Eggman attacking?' Tails cut him off. If Sonic had been able to say her name, he had no doubt he would have crumbled then and there.

"...no"

"Did Chris somehow return?"

"No"

"Are the emeralds missing?"

"No"

"Did Shadow suddenly show up?"

"...no"

"Then it's nothing important, now if you'll excuse me I've got things to do. See you later Sonic"

And before Sonic could reply, Tails stepped back and shut the door.

In truth, he obviously had nothing to do, he didn't even know WHAT to do. Nothing mattered anymore, and now he had to deal with the added stress from the possibility that Sonic would piece together that his recovery had all been a mask. Sonic would then no doubt alert everyone else to this. Walking back to his room and sitting at the edge of his bed, he put his hand over his face and cursed himself for being so careless. If he had simply checked the time before answering none of this would have happened.

"Now I've got to deal with this too. Why? Why do I have to suffer like this?" Throwing himself backwards onto his bed the broken fox stared at the ceiling and allowed the tears to start flowing.

"Why can't you be here with me Cosmo?" He whimpered.

Meanwhile, outside the tree started to glow again, this time slightly brighter than before.

".…Just a little longer Tails, please hold on just a little longer"

And there you have it! Chapter two is out. This is the first story I've written in years and what better choice than a Taismo story?

As I get back into it more the chapters will become longer, right now I'm just finding my footing again. Jeez this is easily the most depressing stuff I've ever written, but considering Tails' situation and the fact that episode 78 (The japanese version aka the definitive version) just glossed over Tails' recovery period I've got plenty to work with. Hopefully next chapter will be less bleak. As always reviews welcome!