The constant dripping from a leaking tap was sending Jim slowly into insanity. It it wasn't the sound of water splashing against metal, it was the rumbling air conditioning or the winter wind harassing the poor weather proofing on the window. The sun had rose long ago, but he still hadn't slept. He refused. The blinds blocked out the most of the light, keeping both bodies submerged in darkness and it brought some peace to him. The dark made it feel like she hadn't been asleep as long as she had been, it made it seem as if she was simply just sleeping peacefully, awaiting the morning.

Through the hours which had passed, Jim had barely looked away from her. If he did it was to inspect a sudden sound outside the room. He'd called his men and currently there were fifteen of them surrounding the building or manning the door, behind which Katherine lay. Jim already knew each new scar and mark off by heart. He'd memorised each freckle dotting her face and arms. He knew there was still one perfect part of her wrist where year old scars marked her skin, just to the left, under her thumb. He knew she had a birth mark in the shape of a diamond on her collar bone. He knew her thumb twitched in her sleep and her lips pouted when she was dreaming. All things he'd failed to notice after two years of thinking he was an expert on her, mind and body.

There was a chance it could be days, just like it had been so long ago. There was a still a chance she would never wake up. The monitors hooked onto her veins and pulse could easily just stop receiving anything. She could drop off the radar and fall into hell, there was no telling due to what she'd been through. Her body was hanging by a fraying thread.

That was why when her hand lightly twitched and her breathing became more noticeable, Jim didn't take notice. He continued to sit with her hand in his, gazing at her face which thankfully had not been marked. But then, her eyelashes fluttered and her her brow creased ever so slightly.

"Katherine?" Her name escaped him before he even had a chance to register it.

Before his eyes, Katherine slowly started to wake up. Her hand tighter around his, squeezing ever so slightly which made his stand and bend over her. With his other hand on her cheek he kept saying her name over and over, drawing her conscious to the surface.

"Arsehole." The first words...out of all the English language, her first word was...

"Arsehole? Really?" Whether she had just heard his voice properly for the first time, or whether it was just because she had realised what she'd muttered, Katherine finally opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Whoever shot me, is an arsehole." He laughed, well truth be told it was more of a huff than a laugh. As he met her eyes, dull and lacking life, all he could see was what they lost. And it enraged him. Call him selfish, call him inhuman, but he didn't want to feel anything in regards to what she had lost. That didn't mean the waves of loss didn't come however. Having to look at her now, seeing her pain and her emotionless demeanour, all he could feel was the pain of what they had lost. It was hers, it was theirs.

He would swear she'd tried to smile too. As if she was still trapped in those first few moments of awakening, where you truly don't know who you are or where you are. Where the world is a foreign place and the evil spirits are just fictional creations of the mind. But then it started to come to her and the smile melted, replaced with a pout and tear filled eyes.

"No, relax." Jim tried to stop it from happening, but it was no use. "Katherine..." The effects on her emotions started first, her face changing every second depending on what she was remembering. Then her hands started to shake before they came and held Jim's face just centimetres away from her own. "Kat..." He never called her that. She hated that...he hated that. But in that moment it felt right. For one short, shining moment they weren't the couple that surrounded the name 'Moriarty'. They weren't at the top of any food chain or the eyes which glowed in the dark. They were just them, as true natured as the day either of them were born.

It was like he had taken one bid step back from himself, away from the bullets and the bad guys. He stopped being the villain for once and put all of his focus on her, just her.

"It's okay, it's okay." Her sobs soon filled the room and with it came her pleas for him. They made no real sense but they were for him.

"What..." Katherine's speech started small but developed quickly. "Who...what did they do?" Her head thrashed back and forth, looking past Jim and around him for other bystanders. "They, they hurt.-"

"Shh I know, I'm sorry." He kissed her wrist and then her forehead, keeping his face close to hers. She was warm, and sticky and she smelt like blood and bleach.

"My head hurts." She closed her eyes again, squeezing them shut almost as hard as she squeezed his hand. "I feel sick." Jim pulled back and sat back in his seat but left his hand in her hair. She was panting for breath, sucking the air in through her teeth as the room spun.

"Take a second, breathe." His accent was calming instead of deadly for once. Katherine sighed and rubbed her thumb over his, giving it a tug to come closer. He felt like a yoyo, bouncing back and forwards to her side at her command. "Hey..." Jim smiled at her when she weakly cracked her eyes opened again but she could only find the energy to whimper.

"Who were those people? Who were they Jim?" As it all came back to her in drips and rats, her hearts started to race for a second time. Every time she blinked, there they were in front of her wearing cheap surgical masks and holding her down. One of them held her head as another forced a wooden paddle into her mouth so she didn't bite down on her tongue in the pain. Then the man, the one who wore the sickly shade of green and kept smiling at her, would dig his fingers into the open would in her shoulder in search for the bullet. "Why did they do that?"

"I...I don't know." Jim knew why. It was because they were corrupt. Unlike Frank Phillips who had turned into the Private Practise for money, Swanson had fell into serving the underbelly of society plainly because he was a street rat himself. Jim had trusted him once upon a time, he used to be good despite his nature, but over the years standards fell and the prices rose. He knew he was taking a risk taking her there, but he never thought it would turn out this badly.

Involuntarily, Jim's head fell forward onto her chest and his hand let go of hers to spread across her stomach. He made sure to be light with her and to avoid her injury, but he couldn't help himself and when his cheek rested against the soft flatness of her stomach, he choked on his own loss.

"Jim?"

"I'm sorry. I put you through that." She was confused. Her own emotions were still running high and swirling around her head like a hurricane, on top of that it felt like every organ in her body was on fire but was experiencing it all as if her was floating above her own body. Nothing was clear. Once Jim started to speak into her belly, sounding as if he too was sobbing, it may as well have all been a dream.

She never imagined she'd see him vulnerable. She never wished to see him in such a state. If he was like that there had to be a true reason, and if that reason was herself, she didn't know what she would do. Everything...nothing made sense.

"Jim." She called to him this time, rather than questioning him and pulled him by his shirt collar so she could see him. "It's not your fault." Even through everything she was feeling, she still needed to comfort him. No matter what pain was ripping through her, she had to calm him down. He was her rock, her protector and her husband and if he wasn't calm, there was no hope for her.

"I took you there, I let them. I heard you scream and didn't even try to stop them." Katherine placed a finger over his lips and sighed heavily.

"But I'm here aren't I?" Katherine tried to organise his hair which had become sloppy and loose from its gelled do. He'd been here for a long time, that discovery alone helped her smile break through. "I'm alive...aren't I?"

Jim watched her look around her sceptically and nodded. "Yes." Just barely. But overall she was right and if she could find it in her to smile, so could he. But he had to keep reminding himself that she was right, as every few seconds, his attention refocused on what used to be planted below his hand, in her belly. "Yes." He shook the thoughts from his head and kissed her softly. "Forgive me?"

"Every time." Katherine whispered, voice barely a whisper. She couldn't kiss him back as much as she wanted to when their lips met again, but his kisses moved across her cheek and down onto her collar bone soothingly. Her eyes glazed over at the feeling, until her shoulder became noticeably itchy and once again, that doctor stared down at her in the damp darkness. Katherine blinked and he disappeared, but her curiosity remained. "What happened to them?"

"Dead, all of them." Jim explained easily, lips hovering over her protruding shoulder bone. She was so small these days. She barely had the energy to carry herself never mind another life, he should have taken better care of her. "You're at Doctor Phillips place, he...made up for what they...lacked." He knelt on his elbows which rested on the side of her bed, holding his hand between his so his lips graced her knuckles as he spoke. "You're going to be fine, as long as you do what he says." It would get worse. Her calmness had overwhelmed him but it was only because she was still to week to remember everything and register the pain. The worst was yet to come. Once the tiredness wore off and the fear penetrated, that would be when she would have to fight. But he'd be there, even if it ruined him.

After silence had overruled them for longer than Jim was comfortable with, he kissed each finger to get her attention and drummed a beat on her belly. He had every intention of distracting her from all that had been the past 24 hours but then he felt the muscles in her abdomen tense and he shivered.

"Why do I get the feeling, that you're not telling me the truth?" The question came too sudden and he looked at her blankly.

She knew him, better than he thought. She could see through his lies, most of the time, and he could tell exactly what he was feeling through those eyes. Those eyes hid so much from others but told her everything she needed to know. Right now, they were dark with anger, and empty with...something she hadn't seen before.

Katherine looked between each iris and shook her head. Her mouth opened and closed but the mystery words were never spoken, each time she stopped herself and attempted to start again. But then the same would happen. In the end, she just bit the bullet and said the first thing she thought of.

"Am I going to die?"

Instantly, Moriarty shook his head. "No...no of course not. I wouldn't let that happen."

"Then what is it?" Katherine swallowed hard and tried to stop the worry from sweeping over her, but she just couldn't help it. Jim was too quiet, too hesitant. "Jim, you're scaring me."

His long pause caused more fear to bubble up inside her chest than there had been when blood was running down her chest, pooling on her shirt. Jim's pupils which had dilated to the size of a pin head just stared at her. His hand went from being across his mouth, to her wrist, back to his mouth and then into his hair. He was a mess.

"Jim...Jim please, just..."

He couldn't look at her. Once he said the words which were being prepared, he feared he'd never be able to look at her again.

"You were pregnant."

For three little words, there was an awful lot to take in.

At first, Jim thought she hadn't heard him. He thought maybe he hadn't actually said it. But then she scoffed in disbelief. On top of the confusion which already plagued her, piled even more. Katherine made that first nervous sign of laughter but less than a second later it had melted into a frown.

"No." She sighed hard and then parted her lips, shaking her head. "No."

'Pregnant' had been a word she never thought to hear since she was a very young girl. She wasn't a mother, she had never thought she be a wife. There was a baby inside her. Or was there. It was then that the 'were' kicked in. All to suddenly, Jim's word became reality and she sobbed. Her hand came up to cover her mouth and she stared at the ceiling above her.

"Katherine?" She felt him caressing her skin, but it didn't do anything. "Kat."

"I can't have been, I'd have known."

"You were only two months in." Maybe even a tiny bit more. For what was possibly 10 weeks, she had carried a part of him and he'd let her walk the streets knowing the threat, he'd forced her into the reach of the government every day. 10 weeks. Only 4 weeks ago he had hit her, knocking her to the ground over some stupid Sherlock issue.

"I still would have known." There was only desperation in her eyes the next time she looked at him and it made something in him twist. There's that feeling you get, when you see something horrible with your own eyes, like a phantom pain. Something in his chest stung, while his abdomen teared open. She looked so sure it burned him. "It's not true, they're wrong."

"Darling-"

"They are wrong!" He had tried to comfort her but her sudden burst of anger pushed him back, a move she instantly regretted causing. "They're wrong Jim...they have to be..." There was nothing he could think of to say, so he stayed quiet, gently playing with the ends of her hair. He wanted to make it all go away. "They have to be." With tears starting to fall from her eyes, Jim saw the hurt which finally caught up with her. "I'm sorry." Katherine's voice became a squeak. "I'm so sorry darling."

"Hey. Hey. Don't." Jim moved to hold her but her body was shaking with sobs. "None of this was you. Not of it. You hear me?" He held her face, trying to keep her still while calming her. He only carried on when her eyes focused on him and she nodded. At that point, he gazed at her with as much as he could muster and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm going to find those that did this. I am going to hurt down the men who stole from us...and I'm going to make them regret the day they were born." She was nodding but none of Jim's words fixed her heart. "Those animals will pay. They'll bleed until they beg, and I'll do it all with my own bare hands if I have to."

She didn't want him to. She didn't want Jim to put himself in the firing line, she just... Katherine didn't know what she wanted. Just ten minutes ago everything had seemed achievable. She was alive and she had Jim, she'd been through hell yet again, but everything she had was still there. But now, something unfathomable was missing. A being she hadn't known existed, a strangers life was unaccounted for. It had been stolen and it broke her heart.

"But I should have known. They took them and I didn't even know." Katherine reached out and wrapped her hand around Jim's bicep. In return, his had caressed her waist, holding it just tight enough to tell her he was there. "I want it back. I want it back Jim."

"Come here." Jim didn't hesitate and it a heartbeat he was laying on the bed next to her on his side and pulling her into his chest. He shoulder strung and stretched with the contact, but she didn't care. She needed to be in his arms, she needed to know he didn't blame her and that he was feeling the same way. "Darling...it's okay. It's okay." She would look back at this moment in the future if not for one reason and that was to try and remember how it felt to have his hot tears combining with hers on her cheeks.

Jim would try and kiss them away before they had a chance to fall, the taste salty on his tongue. But Katherine just kept crying. No matter how softly he held her or how hard he kissed her, she couldn't stop.

Of got to the point where he thought she may never stop. That this was Katherine now, broken and robbed of her own flesh and blood. He thought this was them now, torn down and destroyed, everything he built around her demolished. He thought he couldn't feel more human, his heart couldn't be proven more real, and then Katherine's head turned up to him and uttered the words he wished he could forget.

"Can't you fix it? You make everything better all the time. Please?"

"I-I don't know how." He wished he could. He'd turn back time and stand in front of that bullet for her if he could. But it wasn't that easy. "I would if I could darling, but I can't." He held his lips by her temple and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry...I can't."

She didn't speak again after that. Jim didn't know what that meant. He didn't know if she blamed him, if she despised him for not being able to fix it, her silence was the worst.

He didn't try to move until Katherine had slumped against him, having let exhaustion take over. But when he had finally slipped from under her, he was gentle and made sure not to disturb the stitches in her shoulder. Jim even watched her for a while, appreciating the look of peace on her face while he could.

He'd been so involved in her, he didn't know Doctor Phillips had entered until he took the file out the pocket at the end of her bed and coughed.

"She woke up."

"I know." Jim didn't ask how. "If it is alright by you, I'd like to wake her and start running the tests. The sooner we start, the sooner I can discharge her."

Moriarty replied with a nod, never removing her eyes from her form. "She knows. Do what you need to do, just don't hurt her anymore." The Doctor seemed surprised when Jim took a step back then, but he didn't want to watch them wake her, he didn't want to see her face when she remembered all over again. "I need to make a few calls. I'll be back soon."

"Of course." And with that Jim left the room, leaving her to go through it all without him...again.

But he had to have a second to himself, and upon finding himself alone in the waiting room, all his men otherwise assigned throughout the building. He kicked the first thing he saw, which just so happened to be one of the black crooked chairs. It went flying to the other side of the room, soon accompanied by another, and another as he smashed a small coffee table.

And he just kept going, until his knuckles were raw and bleeding and he could no longer feel the pain in his chest due to its racing.

When he was done, various leaflets littered the floor alongside splinters of wood and scraps of leather which had been ripped from the seats by his shoes.

Jim breath was still ragged when he pulled out his phone and dialled the only number he could trust. No matter what his feelings were, no matter how much he was sulking, Sebastian was still his number one and he needed his eyes and his aim in the game.

"Sebastian. I want you to ring the staff at Bellmont, prepare for us to come home." If the sniper felt at all shocked or hesitant at receiving the phone call, he didn't show it in his voice. But he did act more professional than Jim was used to him being for quite sometime. After agreeing however, there was one small pause before he asked about Katherine's state. "She's alive...she..." She was going to need his best men if she was going to get the vengeance she deserved. "After you make those arrangements, I need you and your best men. No more than three." Sebastian agreed on the other end of the phone but was then silenced when Jim hung up.

He needed to keep the operation small and close. Not only did it decrease the likelihood of a mole but he needed what he was about to tell them to die with them. Moriarty paid well but he knew his staff could gossip and what happened in this hospital, if you could even call it that, was not getting out.