Chapter 149

Everybody in the waiting room were joking around and guessing baby names except Sara who seemed extremely on edge for some reason. She sat down on a seat close to a window and pulled her legs to her chest. "Sara sweetie? Everything okay?" asked Sonia. "Um... sure" said Sara but looked out of the window looking upset. "Sara talk to me" said Sonia. Sara shook her head in disagreement but spoke a minute later. "Something's not right mom... something's not right" said Sara sounding emotional. "What are you talking about Sar, I'm sure everything's just fine" said Sonia looking concerned. "Mom... these days... I don't know... I just... I feel when something is not right with Tegan and for the last 30 minutes I've had a massive knot in my stomach... something's not right" said Sara.

Kate walked out of the OR pulling off her gloves and surgical covers and dumped them in a bin. She pulled her mask off standing against the wall and slowly started sinking to the ground. She stared out in front of her before closing her eyes and put both her hands over her face slowly shaking her head. "Kate... are you okay?" asked Addison walking out of the OR and going down on her haunches in front of Kate. "Yeah... just taking a minute" said Kate and wiped the tell-tale tear rolling down her cheek. "You did as good a job as you could in there. You did everything right" said Addison. Kate just shook her head staring out in front of her. "You want me to go with me to speak to the family?" asked Addison. "Yes" said Kate and got up. Dr Altman popped her head around the door. "Dr Morgan... Tegan's okay. I've given her a sedative" said Teddy. "Lungs okay?" asked Kate. "Yeah... she just... fainted. She's fine. I've checked her vitals and I'm doing a full blood count now" said Teddy. "Thank you... I'll come check on her after we've spoken to the family" said Kate rubbing her neck.

Kate walked into the waiting room looking shattered. "Kate" said Sara jumping up. "Hey doc... any babies yet?" smiled Jeremy. "Hi guys, sit down please" said Addison smiling kindly. Sara sat down next to Kate and took her hand. Kate didn't look at Sara but squeezed her hand. "Talk to us guys" said Sonia now also on edge. "Where's Tegan?" asked Sara looking confused. "Let's start at the beginning... So, after you left the room, labour went more or less as planned. The little girl came out however with the umbilical cord around her neck, she was in some distress for a while. Kate managed to sort that out in no time however. She's okay... she wasn't breathing after birth though and she's on a ventilator right now but I've spoken to the paediatrician and he hopes to have her off the vent in the next day or two. Most premies require mechanical ventilation for a day or two. I don't want you to worry about that. She's just fine. 3 pounds 5 ounces" said Addison. "Holy shit that's tiny! What does she look like?" asked Sara. "She's so beautiful" smiled Kate looking on the verge of tears.

"After baby girl's birth we established that the boy was lying in a very awkward breach position and that we would have to do a caesarean. Um... long story short... the foetus unexpectedly went into a lot of distress and we established that it was due to a prolapsed cord" said Addison. "A what?" asked Sara. "When the umbilical cord gets pushed out before the baby and blood flow and oxygen delivery somehow gets hampered" said Kate. "Oh Jeez" said Sara looking pale. "We delivered the baby who at that stage was in a lot of distress. They had some trouble getting his heart rate up to an acceptable level. He was being resuscitated for a minute or two. He's okay now though. He's also intubated and on a vent but he's stable. Weighs one ounce less than big sister. They're both in the neonatal ICU but they are being taken care of... they're both doing well considering the hectic day they've had" said Addison. "Oh that's great... Why... why do I sense a but?" asked Erin.

Kate swallowed hard and looked down. "Kate talk to me... where's Tegan... why isn't she running in here with the good news" said Sara. Kate looked up at Addison, her eyes searching for help. "Guys... we had some complications with Lindsey" said Addison. "What complications? ... Kate?" asked Sara looking nervous. "Lindsey had a lot of bleeding that we had a really difficult time to control. She had what we call an atopic uterus. The uterus does not contract back after the birth. When the uterus is not contracted, the mother's blood vessels continue to pump blood out leading to massive blood loss. We replaced pretty much her entire blood volume. She had an allergic reaction to one of the drugs we gave her to get her uterus to contract and her airway started closing up". Sara looked at Kate who seemed pale and dishevelled. "Oh fuck... is she okay? Tell me she's okay" said Sara through tears. "She went into hypovolemic shock due to the vast blood loss" said Addison. Sara stared out in front of her, Addison's words growing distant. This wasn't happening...

Fourty minutes earlier:

Kate glanced up at Tegan before she felt the shock leave the paddles in her hands and run through Lindsey's body. Kate saw Tegan's eyes roll in her head and her legs go limp. "Tee's going down" shouted Kate. Abbey caught her just in time and lay her down on the floor. "Still VT... no output" shouted a nurse. "Push one of Epi please" said Kate holding both paddles in one hand and pushing down hard on Lindsey's chest with the other. "Epinephrine... one in one thousand going in" reported the nurse. "Let's shock again at 300. Somebody page Altman stat and check on Tegan" said Kate urgently while still attending to Lindsey. "Stay clear... Shocking" shouted Kate and pressed the buttons.

Beeeeeeeeeeep... the monitor wailed showing a flat line followed by a beep... beep... beep. "That's it, we've got a good sinus rhythm" said Kate out of breath. "She's stabilising, BP 80, 50. Sats going up, pulse pressure getting stronger" said Addison. "Start another fluid bolus. Is the bleeding under control?" asked Kate, her hands shaking. "Yup, looks like the uterus is contracting. Bleeding under control. Pressure stabilising. I've got this Dr Morgan. See to Tegan" said Addison. "Let's warm Lindsey guys, I don't want her hypothermic after this" said Kate jogging over to Tegan.

Abbey was kneeling next to Tegan trying to wake her up. "Tegan wake up for me... come on Tegan wake up" she repeated. "Her pulse is strong, breathing okay but she's still out of it" said Abbey looking at Kate. "Have some O2 on standby" said Kate tilting Tegan's head back. "Dr Morgan you paged... Oh shit, Tegan... what happened?" said Teddy when she saw Tegan lying out for the count on the OR floor. She was followed by an orderly pushing a gurney. "Let's get her out of here... mom okay?" asked Dr Altman. "Looks as if she's going to be" said Addison. "I've got Tegan Kate... take your time and finish up here" said Dr Altman. "Keep her calm Teddy" said Kate sounding worried. "I've got it!" Dr Altman shouted over her shoulder.

Tegan was wheeled to an exam room and started waking up halfway there. She was freaking out and thrashing about shouting Lindsey's name resulting in her almost falling off the gurney. Dr Altman plunged a needle into her bicep and Tegan went limp.

-0-

Back in the waiting room Sara felt as if she was punched in the gut. "You can see Tegan now. Lindsey's still being stabilised in post op though" said Kate. "Is Tegan okay?" asked Sonia. "Yeah... she fainted... lungs are okay. Woke up freaking out of course so Dr Altman gave her a mild sedative. Try and keep her calm guys. She's bound to be freaking out again when she wakes up" said Kate.

Tegan became aware of her surroundings slowly. She was groggy and confused. Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she sat up gasping and started to hyperventilate. "Lindsey... where's Lindsey. Is she okay?" she shouted. Sara and Sonia came running into the room. "Tegan calm down... Tegan just take slow deep breaths" said Sonia. "Lindsey... I need to see her... Lindsey" said Tegan and started to get out of bed.

"Lindsey! Let me go, I need to see her" shouted Tegan. She started wheezing. "She's okay... calm down, Lindsey's okay!" said Sara pushing Tegan back on the bed. Kate came jogging into the room. "Tegan just calm down... everything's okay... Lindsey and the babies are all okay" said Kate. Kate's calm face made Tegan relax a bit. She took a deep, wheezing breath. "I need to see her Kate... please let me see her... what happened" said Tegan. "Calm down and inhale" said Kate pushing the inhaler forcefully into Tegan's mouth. Tegan did as instructed. "Kate?" she said looking like an injured little bird.

"Tegan, she's lost a lot of blood but we've replaced it and we've got her on a lot of fluid support... she's okay... The bleeding is under control. She's breathing okay but we're going to keep her intubated and assist her breathing for the night to make sure her airway stays open. That means she's going to be sedated for the night" said Kate. "But... she's going to be okay right?" cried Tegan. "Yeah Tee... we're cautiously optimistic. Right now her condition is still serious but we've got it under control. Hopefully we'll be able to show her those beautiful babies tomorrow morning" smiled Kate.

"And the babies?" asked Tegan through her tears. "They're both fine Tee... really small but okay... they're stable, they're taking good care of them. They are so damn cute" said Kate smiling. Tegan gave a laugh mixed with a sob and looked up at Sara and Sonia. "Congratulations guys... you're a gran and an aunt" smiled Tegan. "Congratulations Tegan, can't wait to meet them" said Sonia tearing up. "Thanks mom... they're so beautiful" said Tegan. "I'm sure they are" smiled Sonia and hugged Tegan. "I need to see her Kate, please let me see Lindsey" said Tegan, still crying. "Okay... I'm going to take your vitals to make sure you're okay and then you can see her" said Kate smiling. "Hey what would a birth be without the other parent fainting right" smiled Sara. "Have you named them yet?" asked Sonia. "Yeah... but I want to wait for Lindsey to wake up before I share the names with you" said Tegan as Kate took her vital signs.

"I don't want her to be alone... I need to go" said Tegan. "Erin and Alex are with her right now, she's not alone, let's just make sure you're okay" said Kate and smiled. "Oh... okay" mumbled Tegan. "Hey Dr Morgan... thank you... I don't know how to thank you enough" said Tegan as tears started flowing again. "You're welcome Tegan. Congrats on those gorgeous babies. This is one proud godmother" smiled Kate.

After getting the all clear from Kate Tegan was led to Lindsey's ICU room. She stood outside waiting and composing herself as Kate went to fetch Erin and Alex who were diligently waiting with Lindsey. Erin smiled as she saw Tegan and took her into her arms. "Congratulations mommy... Tegan... she's going to be okay my friend... hang in there. We're here for you okay... let us know if you need anything" she whispered. Tegan gave Erin an extra squeeze. "Thank you Erin... I love you" whispered Tegan. "Love you too buddy... stay strong okay" smiled Erin and let go of Tegan.

Tegan walked up to Lindsey's bed and stopped half way closing her eyes. "Pull yourself together Tee" she whispered and walked up to her wife. Lindsey looked more pale than she'd ever seen her and had a vast array of monitors and tubes attached to her. Tegan looked at the tube going into her mouth and she almost gagged. She took a few seconds to compose herself. "Hey my love... Linds... Baby... I'm right here... you're going to be okay... I love you" she said softly. Sara stood at the door watching her sister break down. It felt like knives going into her chest. Tegan was sobbing softly holding Lindsey's hand. After a few minutes her sobs started to subside. She sat in silence for a few minutes clinging to Lindsey's hand. "Boo... they're so beautiful... God they're beautiful... I can't wait for you to see them... You're going to be okay honey... you're so strong... so brave" said Tegan softly holding Lindsey's hand to her cheek. She looked at the tube in Lindsey's hand delivering new blood into her body. "It's okay honey... you're okay. I love you so, so much" she whispered and closed her eyes.

Kate joined Sara at the door and too her into her arms. "God this kills me" whispered Sara into Kate's neck. "I know... she's okay Sar" whispered Kate. Tegan sat in silence for another few minutes. She was tired and emotional and felt weak. She hadn't eaten much that day and the the emotional trauma had drained her completely. "Lindsey... sweetie, listen to me... you need to wake up okay... Lindsey wake up for me... baby... please... Lindsey please... I can't do this without you... I love you so much... Baby please... Please wake up... wake up Boo... wake up" pleaded Tegan. Kate swallowed hard and walked up to Tegan. She put her hand on her shoulder and softly spoke to her. "Tee... she's not going to wake up tonight... maybe tomorrow morning okay... she's sedated" she said. "Yeah" whispered Tegan and rested her head on the bed. "Tegan... why don't you come with me and we'll go see your babies?" said Kate softly. "I... I can't leave her alone... no... I don't want to leave her" said Tegan through her tears. "Tee... somebody will stay with her... Erin will stay right here with her. She's okay" said Kate. "God... I want to go be with the babies but I can't leave her" cried Tegan. "Tee... I think she would understand. She would want you to go see the babies... Am I right?" said Kate. Tegan stayed quiet for a few seconds staring at Lindsey's hand in hers. "Yeah... I guess you're right" said Tegan. "They'll call if you need to come back Tegan... I promise" said Kate softly. Sara looked at Kate in awe. She loved how Kate could calm just about anybody down. She loved her gentle side.

Tegan kissed Lindsey's hand. "Boo... I'm going to see our babies... you're okay sweetie... and they're okay... Erin's going to be right here with you and I'll be back really soon... you just get your strength back okay... I'm so fucking proud of you. I love you" said Tegan softly. She stood up and kissed Lindsey's forehead gently. "I'm staying right here with her Tee... go see your babies" smiled Erin. "Okay... thank you" whispered Tegan looking out of it.

"Mom... Sara... please come with me... I need you" said Tegan at her most vulnerable. "Of course Tee... we're right here" said Sara with her hand on Tegan's back. Kate led them to the NICU and helped them get into surgical gowns. "Okay Tee... you ready?" said Kate gently. Tegan took a deep breath with her eyes closed. "I'm ready" she said. Kate took her hand and led her into the large room filled with incubators and machines. Parents were sitting next to their babies and smiled at Tegan walking in. "Got them a special secluded spot in the corner" said Kate. She led Tegan, Sonia and Sara to an incubator in the corner. "We've got them in the same incubator just as you requested a while ago Tegan" smiled Kate.

Tegan slowly walked up to the box with her babies inside. She broke down and started sobbing when she saw them. They were so, so tiny and were attached to breathing tubes, feeding tubes, IV lines. Both had tiny BP monitors around their thighs and pulse ox meters attached to their feet. Electrodes on their naked chests measured their heart rates, breathing and temperature. The were lying next to each other, bodies touching. "Hey peanuts... it's mommy Tee... you two are so incredibly beautiful... I love you so much... you're okay my angels" said Tegan softly with her nose pressed up to the glass. Sonia put her hand on Tegan's back. "They're so gorgeous Tegan... it's amazing" she said softly, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. "Oh my god Tee... how did you manage to make something so incredibly beautiful... so perfect" said Sara through her tears. "Thanks guys... they're awesome right" smiled Tegan and gave her mom and twin sister long hugs. "Those nappies are about twice their size" joked Sara.

Tegan stared at her children. In that moment it finally sunk in... she was a mother. Her life had changed irrevocably in the the last few hours. She took in every inch of her babies. Their dark hair standing in all directions, their beautiful button noses, their tiny fingers and toes, their chests rising and falling rapidly. "Would you like to touch them Tegan" asked the paediatrician. "Yes... I mean... is it okay if I do... I don't want to hurt them" said Tegan sounding nervous. "It's okay... you won't hurt them... physical touch is important... here's some sanitiser" said the doctor. Tegan quickly rubbed it over her hands. "Put your hand through the hole now. You can touch them very gently" said a nurse. Tegan put her hand through the hole and moved it slowly to her little girls hand. She softly touched her fingers. "Hey princess... my beautiful princess" she whispered. She softly put her palm on her daughter's chest and felt it rapidly moving in and out. She closed her eyes trying to contain her tears. "It's amazing" she whispered. She slowly moved her hand over to her boy. "There's my little prince... so handsome... wow you put up a fight in there... I'm so proud of you two... Mommy Lindsey's going to be so happy and proud to see you. She's so awesome... your mom... She's amazing just like you two. I love you so much" said Tegan softly. She put her hand on her boy's chest and felt him wriggle under her touch. "She's got to be okay... please... please let Lindsey be okay" whispered Tegan and started sobbing again.

A/N: Aaaaweeee, babies! Looks as if Lindsey's going to be okay... hold thumbs! I rushed home to finish this chapter so I won't leave you hanging too long. Hope you enjoyed it. Remember, reviews make me write faster!