Chapter 150
Jeremy hadn't moved from the waiting room, not to go check on Tegan or Lindsey, not to eat, not to go to the toilet. He sat alone with his head in his hands. He started sobbing softly and curled back up on the couch clutching his stomach.
Tegan spent the next hour next to her babies. She didn't want to leave them for a second. "Where's Jeremy?" asked Tegan a bit confused. "He's in the waiting room" said Sara. "Could you go get him Sar?" asked Tegan. "Sure" smiled Sara. "How are they doing?" Tegan asked the paediatrician desperately. "They're doing okay Tegan. They're stable and calm. All their vital signs are improving. I'm very happy with their progress" he smiled. Tegan sighed. "Tegan, I know it's very, very scary to see your babies like this. So tiny and hooked up to these machines but they're okay" he said kindly. "How long will they have to stay here?" asked Tegan. "Well, a premature baby without complications can sometimes go home as early as 36 weeks gestation but as a rule of thumb they normally stay until at least their original due date but every premie is different, we'll have a better indication in a few days' time" he said. "Aren't they cold... being naked like that?" asked Tegan. The doctor smiled. "You Canadians always want to cover up... No, they're nice and toasty in there, that's what the incubator is for. An artificial womb. They're warmer without clothes than with it in there" said the doctor.
"Jeremy?" said Sara softly and sat down next to him. He didn't answer and quickly tried to hide his distress. "Jer are you okay?" asked Sara. "Yeah... No... I'm a bit freaked out" said Jeremy. "They're fine Jeremy... Tegan asked me to come get you so you can meet them" said Sara. "I... I don't know if I should" said Jeremy. "Come on don't be silly" smiled Sara and took his hand and led him to the NICU.
"Jeremy" smiled Tegan with her hands still in the incubator. "Hey Tee... congratulations" said Jeremy. "Thank you... Come closer" said Tegan softly. She slowly pulled her hands out of the holes and put her arm around Jeremy's shoulder. "They're gorgeous right... who would have thought two loser kids from Calgary could make something this cool" said Tegan. Jeremy spontaneously burst out into tears. "It's amazing" he whispered. Tegan patted his back. "Give us a moment guys" said Tegan to Sonia and Sara. "We're going to get some coffee. We'll be back soon" said Sonia. Tegan hugged Jeremy tight. "Thank you Jeremy... thank you" she whispered. Jeremy didn't answer, trying to control his emotions. "Hey... nobody knows the names yet but I'm going to tell you. This pretty girl is Casey and this handsome boy... is Ryan" smiled Tegan. Jeremy let out a sob. Ryan was his middle name. "Just a little thank you" smiled Tegan. Jeremy hugged Tegan tight. "Thanks Tegan that means a lot to me" he whispered. A minute later he sat down next to the incubator and watched, what was his flesh and blood, but would never really be his kids sleeping. He stared at them and felt the tears build up again. "They're going to be okay" whispered Tegan with her hand on Jeremy's shoulder. "I... I can't do this..." whispered Jeremy. "What's that?" asked Tegan not taking her eyes off her babies. Jeremy jumped up and mumbled a "I'm sorry" before storming out of the room. "Jeremy!" she said trying to not make too much noise. She watched him walk out of the room fast.
"Jer?" said Sara as he stormed past them. "I'm sorry guys... I... um... sorry I have to go" he mumbled and disappeared around the corner. "What was that all about?" Sara asked. "It must be hard for him... these are his kids too... only... they're not" said Sonia.
Sara, Sonia and Kate walked back into the NICU. "Hey have you seen Jeremy... he... I think he's upset" said Tegan. "We saw him... I think he left" said Sara. "Oh" said Tegan looking disappointed. "Tegan, give him some space" said Sonia. "I don't think I've ever really considered how... you know... what this would do to him" said Tegan softly. "Tee... he's as much a parent right now as you are" said Sonia. "I know... I'm trying to involve him mom... I don't know what to do... Should I keep my distance or... mom... we discussed this... we agreed on this... he's not daddy" said Tegan now losing her temper a bit. "I know... and that's why I want you to give him space" said Sonia. Tegan nodded.
"We're going to put this blanket over the incubator now so we can make it nice and dark for them so they can get some quality rest" smiled the NICU nurse. "Most of the parents go home in the evenings Tegan... you can't be with them all the time. We're going to take such good care of them okay, go get some rest" said the doctor. Tegan nodded but didn't get up. The doctor walked away. "Tegan, you need to get some rest tonight" said Sonia. "I feel so torn... I want to stay here... but I also want to stay with Lindsey... the last thing I'm thinking of is rest" said Tegan. "You need to keep yourself healthy now... your family needs you strong and healthy Tegan. You look finished" said Sara. Tegan looked around the room. Most of the parents were gone. She looked up at the two beeping heart monitors next to the incubator. The beeps were fast and steady. "Okay... I'll try and get some sleep in Lindsey's room" she said. "Well that's about as far as you're going to get her" said Kate to Sara. "Tegan, I'll stay with them" said Sonia. Relief flooded over Tegan's face. "Thank you mom... just for tonight" she smiled and hugged her mom. "Make yourself comfy in the recliner Sonia and try and get some sleep" said Kate. "Tegan you desperately need something to eat. Come with me" said Kate. "I can't even think about food right now" said Tegan. "It's not a request... I don't want you fainting again" said Kate.
Tegan went into the bathroom on their way to the cafeteria and Kate and Sara stood in the hallway waiting for her. "How cute are those babies!" gushed Sara. "They're adorable alright" smiled Kate. "I want one... gosh babe I want one so bad" said Sara and put her arms around Kate's neck. Kate looked around to see if anybody was watching them. She snuck in a quick kiss. "I do too... Let's just make sure this is not just femotion. Wait for the hormones to subside" winked Kate. "Hmmm... they're raging right now" said Sara lifting an eyebrow.
Tegan reluctantly ate something and actually felt a whole lot better after her blood sugar normalised. She walked back into Lindsey's room and put her hand on Erin's shoulder. "How's my wife doing?" she asked softly. "She's still stable, everything's been quiet. How are the babies?" asked Erin. "They're doing well considering they're 8 weeks early and they've had quite a rough day. They're really beautiful, they're amazing. Mom's going to stay with them for the night. I'll go introduce you to them tomorrow morning. Visiting hours are long over" said Tegan. "Can't wait to meet them" smiled Erin. "You guys should go home. You need to get some rest" said Tegan. "It's okay, we'll crash in the family room. They've got some beds in there. I know those beds all too well" said Erin. "No... you need some proper rest. Alex take her home" said Tegan. "I've had this conversation already Tegan... You taught me never to argue with a pregnant woman didn't you? We're staying" he shrugged. "I really appreciate it guys but Erin is pregnant. You have to take care of yourself E. Please go home and get a proper night's rest... it's late. Thanks for being here guys... I really appreciate it" said Tegan holding Lindsey's hand. Erin gave her a hug from behind. "Okay then, if you insist. Get some sleep Tegan" she said. "If you see Jeremy... Um... Please ask him to call me... Or... Actually, just let me know he's okay" said Tegan. "Will do, Goodnight Tee" said Alex and led Erin out of the room.
Tegan looked at Lindsey's face. She didn't seem quite as pale as earlier and her hands felt a bit warmer. She looked up at the monitors above the bed. From what she could tell everything looked okay. "Lindsey... honey... I just saw our two amazing babies... they told me to tell you they love you and miss you... they're so tiny but so perfect... so incredibly perfect. Their tiny little fingernails, their little mop tops... their ears... it's such a miracle. They're perfect. Get a good night's rest now okay because tomorrow morning you're going to wake up... and they're going to remove this horrible breathing tube... and you're going to see your babies. Just hang in there baby... you're going to be okay... I know you're going to be okay" said Tegan softly. She kissed Lindsey's hand through her tears.
"Come on Tegan. Lie down now" said Kate. "Just five more minutes" said Tegan. Kate nodded and proceeded to examine Lindsey. After listening to her heart and lungs and checking a few other things she gently lifted the covers and peeled away the dressing on Lindsey's surgical wound. "Everything looks okay" she said softly and covered Lindsey up again. "Are you sure?" asked Tegan. "We're going to keep a very close eye on her during the night but she's as stable as we could want her right now. Her condition is still serious but she's doing okay Tee" said Kate. "Goodnight my angel. Sweet dreams" whispered Tegan and kissed Lindsey's hand. Kate led Tegan to the cot they had set up for her a few meters away from Lindsey's bed. Tegan kicked her shoes off and lay down on the bed. Kate put a blanket over her. "Would you like me to give you something to sleep?" asked Kate. "No... I'm okay" said Tegan and clutched a spare pillow. "Try to get some rest Tegan. You need to keep your strength up" said Kate. "Okay... thanks for everything Kate" said Tegan.
Kate dimmed the lights in the room and left. Sara waited outside. "Everything okay?" she asked. "Sure... I just hope Tegan gets some rest. She's exhausted" said Kate. "I can imagine" said Sara. "I'm going to be up most of the night but you can sleep in my office if you want to?" said Kate. "You mean you still have an office after being MIA for so long?" joked Sara. "Yes, can you believe it. I thought they would have given it to some fancy new hotshot ages ago" said Kate. "They want you back... of course they want you back. You're their superstar" said Sara. "I don't know about that" blushed Kate. "You are... thank you Katy... thanks for today" said Sara and hugged Kate. "My pleasure Sar" smiled Kate. She felt Sara breathe slower in her arms. "Let's get you to bed" said Kate. "No... I'm going to stay with Tegan and Lindsey tonight. That recliner in there is pretty comfy" said Sara. "Tegan's lucky to have you Sara" smiled Kate.
Sara snuck into the room and sat down on the recliner. She watched Lindsey's monitors glow in the dark. Tegan pretended to be asleep although she had been crying into the pillow in her arms for the last twenty minutes. She gave a stifled sob. Sara sat up and looked over the bed at Tegan. She got up and walked over to her sister. She put her arm over her shoulder and felt Tegan give a shiver. "Tee... everything's okay. Calm down now and try to relax" she whispered. "I'm scared Sasa" whispered Tegan. "I know... I understand" whispered Sara. "I love you Sasa" whispered Tegan. "I love you too TeeTee. Shhh... relax. Everything's okay" whispered Sara. She stood next to Tegan's bed holding her hand for the next thirty minutes. It seemed as if Tegan had finally nodded off but she was reluctant to let go of her hand. It felt as if Tegan needed to keep holding her twins hand, as if she needed the energy transfer. Kate walked in a few minutes later and put her arms around Sara's waist. "Get some rest Sar" she whispered. Sara just stared at Tegan, still holding her hand. "Come on... let go of her hand... she's okay" whispered Kate and gently pried Sara's hand from Tegan's. Sara turned to Kate and took her in her arms. She stood swaying in her lover's arms for a few minutes before Kate led her to the chair. "Sleep now... I love you" whispered Kate and kissed Sara's forehead. "I love you so much Kate" said Sara softly.
A/N: 150 chapters and more than 300 000 words! It's been quite a ride. Thanks to everyone who stuck with me (and is still sticking with me) on this story.
Time for you guys to come to the party with a few more reviews please!