Disclaimer: All of Hellsing and its characters are copyright to Kouta Hirano. Any original characters belong to the author of this fanfiction.

HELLSING

EREBUS

Here standeth the Bird of Hermes,

Eating my own wings to make me tame...

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Echoes of the Past

Friday Midday, January 9, 2032, Hellsing Estate...

Beep...beep...beep...beep.

Azure eyes remained fixed on the still figure in the bed in Alexandra Rows' room. Hellsing's head had just popped in to see if there was any change in the girl's status, finding the silence unnerving. Alex had hardly woken up, too weak from her ordeal to remain conscious. The men who had served aboard the ship during the attack had long since had their memories fixed by the Count, weakening the ancient vampire even more, before they were sent home. Her organization had already covered its tracks, making sure that the world never know of this event. The highway attack, however, was impossible to cover up. There were too many witnesses, but luckily all they saw was a series of explosions, and never the fight that took place in the blizzard, most of them having run away at that point. So many people had been killed already. Integra knew this was a war, but it was never easy for her to accept the sacrifices that were made.

A doctor was standing beside the bed, monitoring the girl with a regular half-hourly check-up. Hypothermia, when severe, was a tricky business. Though Alucard had successfully revived her, the rest of the fight was up to Alex. When Van gave Integra the report, learning that Alex never planned to return to Canada at all, the older woman silently agreed that was best. She sighed, looking to a shadow that stood in a corner of the room, a tall creature silently watching Alex behind his amber shades, no expression on his face. She frowned somewhat, closed her eyes and walked out of the room, feeling sympathy for the Count, knowing full well of his feelings for the young woman, the doctor soon following her out.

Once the room was empty of just the two of them, Alucard uncrossed his arms, quietly stepping forward, hair swaying under his hat from the movement around his face. Standing next to the bed, he just stared at the girl. She looked so...fragile, it made his undead heart ache. Part of him pondered whether he should have been more upfront with her about his feelings early on. Inwardly, he sighed, both with frustration and weariness. He hadn't slept at all over the last couple of days. He relented to Seras' insistence that he eat, if only to regain his strength. It had been ages since he was weakened to such a point. Gabriel's powers had made it difficult for him to bypass. Luckily, because of his self-observation abilities, he overcame them. Being everywhere and nowhere had its advantages. However, they had their limits as well.

Quietly, he removed his hat and glasses, putting them aside atop the bedside table. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he removed his gloves, reaching for her face with bare fingers, brushing aside her bangs. To see the oxygen mask irritated him to no end. The girl was not meant to lie in bed day and night. She should be walking around, acting like her usual lively self. As he touched her face, he could feel the difference between now and how cold she felt when he brought her out of the ocean waters. Still, she remained unconscious, with very few precious seconds she had been awake. The first day was the worst. She woke up long enough to start babbling incoherently, as though she was having a nightmare. Alex would pass out soon after, but her mumbling continued in her sleep. Only the day after did it stop.

Van and Seras had visited often in hopes that Alex was awake, only to be disappointed. They would stay for an hour at a time before duty would call them back to work. Currently Van was investigating into the matter of the mirror-tech they had appropriated, hoping to find more leads and answers to why the swords affected them so much. The Police Girl kept Integra company or trained new recruits, occasionally coming along to not just visit Alex, but to be sure that her master had eaten. Her concern at times made him smile. It was almost like a daughter trying to take care of her weary father. His master had even taken time out of her busy schedule to check on Alex, and from what he could tell, him as well.

Rose-like orbs never strayed from the bedridden human, recalling his previous masters. Though he had been in a deep sleep during Arthur's last days, having read the mind of a twelve year old Integra Hellsing had answered his unasked questions on his whereabouts. His first master, a mere man that had defeated him over a century ago, remained clear in his own memories.

The smell of blood. That of a human's, but his own overwhelmed the scent of the fallen man. In the distance, three men stood. Another lied on the dirt of a cemetery, having been pierced through his back with various blades. The final and fifth man stood before him, having moments before driven a stake through his heart. Blood pooled in his mouth, overflowing, dribbling down his pale and pointed chin. Defeated, he was leaning against a gravestone, crimson tears pouring down his cheekbones.

His voice thick with his homeland, he barely managed a whisper, questioning his nemesis, "Have I been...bested...sir?"

The man seemed to consider this hapless monster before answering, "Yes, you are bested. This is not a nightmare you will be awaking from. Your castles are plundered, your dominions in ruin, your servants destroyed." Standing more tall, he regarded the Count with a hardened face. "And the girl has fled this place forevermore! She will never be yours, Count!" Another blow to the stake still embedded in him, and he shouted with a heart wrenching agony. As the Count fell backwards, the lapels of his suit had been caught, the hunter before him shaking him back and forth. "You are judged, and found wanting, Vampire King! You have nothing." Cold blue eyes narrowed. "You are nothing." And as the vampire's consciousness slipped away from him, Abraham Van Helsing uttered a final, "NOTHING!" Then he knew nothing more.

Alucard opened his eyes, the bitter memory of his defeat still fresh. He looked to Alex, thinking back on Van Helsing's words, then smiled wryly. At the time, the man was right. He truly had nothing, and certainly nothing to live for, for he had nothing to lose. Those long years...alone with the pain of his choice, his weakness. Alucard—no—Dracula had long given up any notion of being a man. He had already turned his back on God, and sank deeper and deeper into the darkness, forgoing his right to his humanity, til there was nothing left but a monster.

That wasn't the case now. It was ironic in some way, that the man who had deemed him as no more than a monster with nothing left, ended up being the one in some semi-direct way, giving him everything. His dear master to whom he belonged, his darling servant that was his to mould. Even the young man was growing on him as someone he could trust and respect, much like how he felt about Walter C. Dornez, the Angel of Death, before his betrayal. And now, lying in the bed, a woman he had grown to love in just a couple of months. She was Katarina, but at the same time, she wasn't. He knew this even from the second he first saw her in that cheap little flat. Initially he was interested in her solely for the reason of who she was in the past.

Even though Alexandra had her face, the fire in their spirit was different. Somehow, something had changed within the last six-hundred years. Even if she was Katarina, she was not the same woman. It was a conundrum. He knew better than anyone that time, merciless as it was, changed people. It became clear to Alucard from the moment he met Alexandra, that his dead heart would be chained to her like the dog he was. She was his master without being his master. His love without being his love. She was nothing and everything, just as he was everywhere and nowhere. Had the hunter truly finished him off that fateful dawn, Alucard would not be here.

Nothing, Van Helsing? No...in the end, it was you who gave me back everything.

Am I...dead?

Wind rustled through hair, tickling her nose and cheeks, though her skin felt cold. Why was she still so cold? She was out of the water, wasn't she? Alucard...he had saved her. Slowly, eyes opened to a world not her own. A distant land she knew was wrought with war. Despite that, fresh snow was falling like feathers. In the distance, snow-capped mountains framed a castle, lit by the small light of a crescent moon. Four spires topped with great stone crosses, torches twinkling from afar. Virgin-white crunched as her feet carried her the great fort.

An hour journey turned into mere seconds, and Alex found herself inside the castle. Stone walls and intricate tapestries, the torches her only source of warmth. Though weapons also decorated the walls, she was surprised to see flowers. Such a strange thing to see in a castle surrounded by what she thought were medieval soldiers. Was this England? Voices caused her to turn around, looking for the source. She didn't understand the foreign tongue, but it seemed...familiar. The longer she listened, the more it made sense to her as though she was hearing English.

"They're coming!" one had said, frantic towards another.

Alex frowned but walked away, eventually brought to a large and intricate wooden door. A hand pushed it open and she walked through it. Inside was far more surprising than the flowers that decorated the corridors. Inside was a place of warmth, and love. The air was so thick with it, Alex could swear she would weep with the peace she felt. She looked over her shoulder to find that the door was closed again, as though she had never opened it. A different voice caught her interest. Her gaze returning to the room before her, brown pools widened at the sight of a woman with long luscious brown hair, fair skin, and a simple but regal dress. When the woman turned, Alex gasped, but the woman didn't seem to hear her.

She asked herself, how is this possible? But no answer came.

Before her was a woman with a face identical to her own, the same shade of hair and eyes. The same height. There were mild differences, but it was like looking into a mirror. One major difference was that this stranger held a toddler to her bosom as she sang to him. Alex gathered it was a lullaby of some sort, for the child had his head rested on her shoulder, dark hair in his face, barely showing the blue eyes that were half-closed. Risking a closer look, Alex moved towards the pair, her own eyes almost stuck on the woman, but then she looked at the boy. Alex never considered having kids of her own, so the image made her feel strange. Slowly, she reached up to touch the boy's head.

Both women let out a short shriek of surprise when an arrow shot through the window, narrowly missing Alex's hand, taking out a candle, embedding itself in the wall tapestry. Both stood there with shock, the child having been jogged awake by his mother's cry. Shakily, the noblewoman walked over to pull out the offending object, staring at it. After recovering from her surprise, Alex noticed something had been wrapped around the shaft. Swallowing hard, the woman gently put her son on the floor, removing the paper. Gingerly, the note was unwrapped, and after a moment, eyes widened with terror, dropping both the arrow and paper to the stone floor.

Alex and the woman turned towards one of only two open windows and the latter ran to it to see that the castle was being stormed, looking towards the courtyard . Alex looked to the note, crouching down to pick it up, but couldn't grasp it, her fingers passing through it like she were nothing more than a ghost. Still, she was able to read the Romanian, the words transforming before her. Her own eyes widening, she realized when and where she was. She looked up to see the mother return to the boy's side, picking him up and moving towards the door.

"Mama?" the boy asked, concerned by his mother's fear. Children could always sense when something was wrong.

"Shh, Mihnea," she soothed, petting back his hair before opening the door.

Alex looked around for a weapon of any kind, not that she knew how to use melee arms, but she didn't have her guns. She saw a sabre on the wall and went to grab it, but like with the paper, her hands passed through it. She cursed and looked to the mother and child, whom had paused in the doorway. Hearing the clashing of blades just down the hall, she quickly closed the door, locking it before looking around. Alex watched as she seemed to recall something and moved to the centre of the room, tossing aside a fancy rug, revealing a trap door. She opened the hatch, grabbed her child and lowered him inside the small room.

"Mama?" he asked again.

She responded the same way as before. "Shh, my love. Stay in here. Do not come out. Papa will come."

Papa? Alex asked herself. Who was the father? And why wasn't he here with them?

Remembering that it was a time of war, Alex assumed he was off on a battlefield somewhere, making the girl anxious for his family. She could tell that the woman was holding back tears, even as the frightened child called for his mother again and again. Shushing him once more, she closed the hatch, replacing the rug just as they heard a loud thump at the door, making them jump. Shaking, the woman ran to the sabre and took it from its place, tossing aside the sheath as she waited. In a vain attempt to hold them off, Alex ran to the door, pressing her weight against it. Like hell she was gonna let this end badly!

Unfortunately, it did nothing, and eventually the door burst open as Turkish soldiers filed into the room, cornering the poor woman. Alex watched, teeth pressed tightly together as sweat rolled down the side of her face. This couldn't be happening! The soldiers saw that the woman was armed and laughed at her trembling hands. They all grinned, taking one step after another towards her. Alex ran to stand between her and the Turks, her hard expression glaring down the enemies.

"Leave her alone, you bastards!"

But they did not hear her, nor see her. They just kept coming closer, and one of them spoke up, "Surrender yourself! Do so and no harm will come to you. Do so and you may see him again!"

"I will not surrender to you monsters!" she yelled out. "He would certainly not surrender to you! He will return, and when he does," she began, her eyes narrowing threateningly, "he will kill you all in the same way as those at Târgoviște!"

That statement must had been a sore point, because some of them visibly shuddered, but their resolve was not to be broken by this woman. One of them even smiled mockingly. "He will not be able to do anything when he learns that we have captured you. Like the dog he is, he will beg for your life to be spared, and he'll learn to bow before our might once again!"

Alex turned to the woman to see the fear in her features. Fear led to bad decisions, and that was exactly what occurred when she screamed out and charged forward, sword raised high. Sadly, the blade was parried and knocked out of her hand, making Alex curse. The soldier that had bested her grabbed her by the hair, yanking her forward painfully. They all laughed at her expense, her current captor suddenly deciding to feel her up, grabbing at her breasts. The woman shrieked while all Alex could do was watch, both of their faces paling. Though, much to hers and the soldier's surprise, the woman pulled out a stiletto knife hidden under her belt, driving it into the man's eye, a bit of blood squirting out as he screamed.

She nearly fell as he released her to cover his now ruined eye. "You w-whore! Bitch! I'll kill you!"

The woman held the knife in front of her with a blood covered hand. "I will not allow you to hurt him through me! I would rather die!" She backed away until her backside hit the windowsill of the other open window, looking behind her to look below at the river.

"What?" Alex started, moving towards her. "What are you thinking?"

The woman smiled sadly. And in that moment, both sets of brown eyes turned to the rug, as though Alex could anticipate what she was thinking about. The boy. What would happen to the boy should his mother...? Alex turned back her gaze towards the window to see tears in the woman's eyes, making her own widen. She couldn't be serious! Slowly, the mother climbed into the window and stood there, the knife still in her hand, pointed towards the slowly approaching soldiers. Her eyes never left where her son was hidden, closing her eyes as the tears fell. Alex couldn't let this happen! She rushed towards her, hand outstretched to try and grab her before...! But then a thought entered her mind.

Vlad, please forgive me... Take care of our precious son.

And like that, Alex screamed out Katarina's name as the woman fell backwards, releasing the dagger, closing her eyes, falling faster than the tears she shed, copper locks billowing past her face. To Alex, everything was in slow motion, and though it was too late for her to save Katarina, she kept moving forward til she too jumped from the ledge. She didn't know why she was doing this. She knew this was a dream. The woman was already dead. Though she tried to catch up to her, Alex could barely see, with the air rushing into her eyes, watching as Katarina's life was claimed by the river.

"WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" she screamed with anguish. "HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR YOU!"

No answer came, only the river quickly approaching her and Alex gasped, putting her arms in front of her face to brace for the impact. And much like before, she was consumed by the cold and she couldn't breathe. But as quickly as it came, the discomfort stopped, taking in air, gasping awake eyes shot open, finding herself standing in what looked like a throne room of sorts. All around her was a bunch of wounded soldiers, not of the Turks, but of the castle. Only a few had survived the attack, and she saw people in what she assumed was religious garb uttering passages while standing next to a pedestal where a body lied at the end of the room, water having pooled onto the floor.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Alex stepped forward and immediately regretted it, seeing the lifeless body of Katarina. She looked so peaceful, Alex realized before she finally heard the sobs of a child and looked over the pedestal to see that the boy, Mihnea, was latched onto his mother's hand, crying for his mother to wake up. For some inexplicable reason, her heart shattered at the sight of his tears, wanting to hold him and never let go until everything became right in the world.

The double doors burst open, making her jump and turn on the spot, eyes widening once more as they landed on the man that had haunted her for weeks. Blue eyes shone through the dark, looking manic as she could hear the laboured breaths of his return, as though he had rushed back. Armour clinked with his movement as he stepped forward, bringing him more into the light of the dawn, and Alex would express shock when his face finally revealed itself. It was the face of a man who had seen countless battles, as blood had dried on his skin and the bristles of a thin beard and moustache.

The dark knight moved forward still, walking up the small steps and onto the platform, past Alex and the clergymen. His face betrayed confusion as he gazed upon the dead woman, but Alex could not tear her eyes from this warrior. Gradually, his features twisted as it began to register to him that his wife was dead, his jaw set tightly as teeth ground together, threatening to break under the pressure. She watched as his eyes narrowed and closed before he himself collapsed upon her, sobbing loudly into her chest, his own tears falling freely.

"Katarina," he croaked pathetically, only constantly repeating her name over and over.

A gloved hand moved to cradle under her head before pulling her close to his mouth where he placed a long and chaste kiss. Alex felt her cheeks become wet, clouding her vision. The main clergyman stepped forward, continuing his passages, and somehow, it did nothing to comfort either the man or Alex. After awhile, the reciting stopped, and the clergyman looked to the dark soldier.

"They came in the night, taking the lives of your men. Most have been slain. She and your son were in the tower. She hid him and was confronted by them. They had intended on using her against you, my son."

The man growled, "I will kill them for this! They will know hell!"

Patiently, the other man added, "My prince, she will forever suffer in the arms of the Devil. She took her own life..."

At these words, his body that had been trembling with rage and grief, stopped shaking, regarding the priest. Calmly, without looking up, he asked, "What are you saying?"

"She fell into the river to avoid capture, my lord. God's word is clear. Because of her transgression, her soul will burn in Hell for all eternity."

Gently, the knight released his wife, standing before towering over the priest. "She sacrificed herself! Do not speak to me of this! Do not tell me that she wouldn't be forgiven by Him! She is my Promised Land! I will not accept this!"

Frightened of his prince's rage, the priest stammered out, "Y-you would go against the teachings of God? We are all but specks of dust in the eyes of our Lord! She is no different from you nor I! All flesh is grass, and all the comeliness thereof as the flower of the field. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth. But the word of our God abideth forevermore."

The prince growled again but the voice of Mihnea stopped him before he would make choice words, "Papa..."

He turned to the boy that he could not see til now, for he was small and hidden on the other side. He looked upon his son and walked over, crouching before bringing him into his arms, Alex seeing the relief that Mihnea was unharmed. She sniffed, wiping at her eyes, but when she opened them again, she was somewhere else entirely, standing a couple miles from the castle in the snow. And before her was a bed of twigs, with the dark prince and his son standing next to it. On the bed of sticks lied Katarina, having been dressed in a gown of white lace, surrounded by flowers, hands clasped over her stomach. In one hand, the prince held a torch, his long dark hair and black cloak swaying around him, eyes dull with the pain.

He turned his head towards his crying son. He had no words of comfort to offer. Rather than say anything, he stepped forward, tossing the torch, the flames gradually catching, fed by the gentle wind, growing stronger until the blaze completely consumed Katarina. Alex watched, in awe, the ceremony somehow calming her own distress.

"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust, and from dust we are born, and to dust we shall return...right?" she asked no one in particular, her mood still bitter.

The girl turned her gaze to the prince, his expression unreadable. It was then she began to notice something familiar about him. Slowly, her eyes opened wider and wider, and the prince before her began to flicker back and forth with another image, another man, and just like that, realization finally hit her. Even his voice had sounded familiar. How did she not recognize him til now?! The longer she stared, the harder it was for her to turn away. No, she couldn't turn away. She knew this man...

"Alucard..." she murmured in disbelief.

All this time, she had been dreaming about him! Within seconds, it all came into place. Why Alucard was interested in her at all, why he was so determined to protect her. This...memory, or whatever it was, was a glimpse of his past, back to when he had been infamous as Vlad the Impaler! To Alucard, Alex was and is Katarina! Part of her didn't want to believe it, but it explained so much as to why Alucard treated her the way he did. It explained why she had these weird dreams.

"But...I'm not Katarina!" she yelled out, not really believing her own words.

At this, Alex watched as Vlad turned to her and smiled sadly. "What are you saying, my love? You are right there in front of me, alive and well."

Shock kept her still but her mouth was able to form the words, "She's dead. I'm not her, and you...you're not..."

"I'm not what?" he asked, turning towards her, the snowy environment changing right before her eyes, that of a night club on Halloween night, with her surrounded by the corpses of patrons. She gazed in shock at the horrible memory. "He and I are the same. Changed by the passage of time, but we are one." She looked back to find not the prince standing there, but the hunter-vampire donning his red coat and hat, his hellish eyes glaring from under the brim, his jagged teeth shimmering in a toothy smile, the Romanian accent gone, replaced by a voice she had come to know. "Just as you have changed. You are, without a doubt, her reborn."

She stood, bewildered by this change. "But, am I still...me?"

Alucard's smile and eyes gentled. "That is something you're going to have to figure out for yourself, Alexandra. I cannot give you all the answers. But you're going to have to wake up first. They're all waiting, and as am I. Wake up..." he urged her, his voice fading on the air just as everything began to fade to nothing...

"Alu...card," she started, reaching out for him before everything turned to blackness.

Saturday After Midnight, January 10, 2032, Hellsing Estate...

There was a sigh, then a small gasp as brown eyes shot open, staring in bewilderment at the high ceiling of a room. Blinking, she winced trying to move, raising her uninjured hand to the mask on her face, letting the open air cool her humid face. Things began to make sense to her again as she recognized her surroundings. She sighed after a moment, relieved to be in her own bed again. Despite this, something felt off. She looked over at where the nearest window was, blinking dazedly as she spotted a figure standing in front of it, their back to her. The moon was hardly visible at this time, so she could barely see them.

"A...Alucard?" she croaked, the figure stiffening.

Alucard turned from his night-gazing, crimson orbs piercing vividly through the darkness of the room. They did not frighten her though, finding the sight of them comforting. His footsteps echoed quietly as he moved to her bedside. Alex saw a strange look on his face, one she was sure she had never seen before. Was that...fear? Gently, he sat on the bed, reaching over with a bare hand to cup her face.

"Alexandra," he breathed out as though her name was his only source of air.

"Alucard," she murmured back, just as glad to see him. Weakly, she smiled, lightly jesting, "Did you miss me?"

His face softened even more with a smile of his own. "I see your wit continues to serve you without fail." He leaned forward, pressing his cold lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss.

The gesture made her eyes close, her left hand reaching up to place over his own. "I'll take that as a yes." He didn't move from his position, except to bury his nose in her hair next to her head, serving to remind her of her dreams, eyes opening. "Alucard?"

"Hm?"

She hesitated, not knowing exactly how to start. "I had this dream." Slowly, he rose to look her in the eyes, intrigued. "About you." He frowned, puzzled, but she amended, looking towards the window again, "Well, sort of. It was actually about me in a way, yet not."

Alucard sat up more straight, having an idea of where this was going. "Go on," he urged quietly.

She sighed. "There was this woman that...looked just like me. She had a little boy with her. But she was alone in this castle, and these people were storming it. She hid the little boy before they came for her and ended up..." Alucard closed his eyes, knowing exactly how it would finish. "She fell into the river," she added with a sad whisper. "And you...came back to find her dead." When the vampire said nothing, she looked back at him, but he didn't meet her gaze. "Was that all just a dream, or did that really happen?"

He looked at her then, indecision burning in his eyes on whether or not to tell her. Sighing, he knew she would figure it out for herself anyway. "What you saw was a...retelling of past events I did not witness myself, for I didn't learn of their plan until I had already reached the battlefield."

"What happened?"

"Another battle had been imminent and I had gone off to deal with them. But it was a ruse to lure me away from my dominion. Away from her. In those days, weakness was not something any soldier could afford, for in war, such weaknesses would be used against you. But, every man has his weakness, and in my case, it was my wife, Katarina. I had known her since we were children, enslaved by the Ottomans, among many more given as tribute. I was a personal plaything for one of the high rulers, and she eventually became his servant as well. I was one thing, but his interest shifted to her and he raped her."

"Oh my god," she breathed in shock, struggling to sit up.

"When I found out, I killed him and I ran away with her. Over the years, many hardships followed, but...I knew for awhile that I carried deep feelings for her, protecting her with my very life. Over time, we married and had a son. However, while I continued to fight for my land's independence from the Turks, they learned of her and my devotion to her. They lured me away with the intention of using her as a bargaining chip in the war. They knew I would sacrifice everything for her. Not just my freedom, but my life, my people, my country, everything. To me, nothing mattered but her. Not even the very God I swore an oath to."

Alex gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh, Alucard."

He closed his eyes again, recalling his past with clarity. "But things didn't go as planned and she died. I returned, as you said, to find her dead, her body having been fished from the river." Eyes opened once more, gaze turned to the night through the window. "They told me they wouldn't bury her," he added quietly, his eyes smouldering with an ancient rage. "I had served in the name of God. My belief was that begging for salvation or mercy were not prayers. One had to fight to earn the grace of God. For my entire human life, I served in his name. But when she died, something in me...snapped."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"My faith in him wavered that day," he explained. "I wondered why He would punish someone as pure as Katarina, for sacrificing her life rather than surrender it to my enemies. It didn't make sense to me. Over time, though I still had my faith, it had weakened, til finally, the day I was to be executed." He turned to her. "I had sacrificed the lives of my enemies and allies alike. The people I was supposed to protect. Men, women, old, and young. Even myself. Her death had brought me nothing but a never ending ache that would carry into my rebirth as a creature of the night. I lost everything when she died. Even my son was lost."

Alex reached up to take his face in her hands, pressing her forehead against his as she stared into his deadened eyes, tears threatening to fall from her own. "I'm so sorry, Alucard."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "On the day of my execution, I had looked to all the bodies that riddled that field, the sky stained red with spilled blood. I felt so...betrayed by Him. In my final moments, I had blamed Him for everything. I served him, but He allowed such a thing to happen to her. I welcomed death." She said nothing, knowing there was more. "But I looked upon the blood soaked dirt, and I was angry, and afraid. I knew my death was inevitable, but in that moment, I was willing to do anything to survive. I wanted the world to burn. Something compelled me then..."

"Compelled you?"

He leaned back a little. "Blood is the currency of life, Alexandra. My greed for blood urged me to drink the blood of the battlefield before they took my head. I woke up as the monster you see before you. Not alive, but not dead."

"And that's how you became a vampire?" she asked, somewhat incredulous. "How does something like that turn you into such a thing?"

Alucard smiled wryly. "Perhaps it was because I had renounced God, thus cursing me to this sort of existence. The world has many unsolved mysteries." He cupped her face again. "I've lived for six centuries, and I've yet to make sense of my own creation. To be perfectly frank, I didn't care either. All I knew was that I had made a mistake. I could have joined her in death, but instead I chose this life, and because of it, I was afraid I never would die." His lips curled into a more genuine smile. "That is until I found you, Alexandra."

Her cheeks suddenly felt hot. "M-me?"

"Mm. As though fate would have it, you come into my life again, reborn as a new person. It's as though your very soul is greeting me." He sighed, pushing aside her bangs. "You are literally a very rare woman."

The blush softened and she looked down, not sure how to take this. "Alucard, I don't know if I can accept what you're saying." He frowned. "It's not that I don't like you. Honestly, I actually do, it's just..." She huffed, removing his hands as she struggled for the right words, looking into his eyes again. "I don't want a relationship based on that. After what I've seen in that dream, and what you told me, I can't be certain if these feelings of yours are based solely on what you felt for Katarina and if that's all you see when you look at me. Just as I'm unsure if these feelings I have for you are actually mine...or hers."

Though he understood her reasoning, he couldn't help the disappointment he felt. "I see."

"Such a thing would feel artificial if I allowed it now," she added quietly. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure it out."

"It's fine," he cut in, more sharply than he had intended. Forcing himself to soften his tone, he said, "I know what you're saying. You needn't explain your reasons. However, I've already made my decision, and will patiently await yours. Until then, I won't tell you what I've decided. If I do tell you, it may only confuse you more, thus affecting your choice. I cannot be the one to decide for you. Only you can make the choice."

Alex stared for the longest time at him, her feelings mixed. Though she was really eager to know, she smiled, letting go of her curiosity for now. "Thank you for that."

"It doesn't mean I'll stop doing what I normally do to you," he quipped, his usual devilish grin back in place, his eyes full of mirth.

The girl blinked then groaned. "So, basically, you're telling me you'll...respectfully, still annoy the hell out of me?" The grin only widened, and she scowled at him, but it turned into a chuckle. "I guess I can live with that."

A/N: Well, I managed to pump this puppy out sooner than expected.I had always planned for this chapter to be the big reveal for Alex about her connection to Katarina and what she is to Alucard. I'm sure all of you were waiting for some elaborate confession as well, but technically, neither Alucard nor Alex have any need to confess. Words are not always necessary, as Alex already had some obvious clues that he was into her, she just didn't know why. So, the most you'll ever get is an, "I like you, buuut..." from Alex. At least for now. WAS gonna make this the official first kiss chapter too, but HA-HAAA, I tease you instead. I'm such a bitch, I know.

Again, no idea when I'll post next. I'll be working three night shifts this weekend, and possibly sleeping all of Monday. I'll give you the standard two weeks ETA. Hopefully I'll be able to post the next one next weekend though. Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave a review so I can feast on them like my life depends on it.