Chapter 154
Tegan waited with Lindsey until she was asleep before making her way to the physio's office. "T-bone!" she heard Karev shout behind her. "Karev my man" said Tegan turning around. "Can you two zip it, this is a hospital" said a grumpy looking Dr Weber walking past. "Oops" said Tegan. "Congrats on the little monsters" said Karev hugging Tegan. "Hey who are you calling little monsters!" said Tegan laughing. "Sorry, little angels" said Karev. "Thanks. We're super stoked!" said Tegan grinning.
Tegan lay on the physical therapy bed as the physio gave her shoulders a deep massage. She had been waffling on and on about her two newborns the entire session. "You have kids don't you? Ouch!" said Tegan. "Sorry! Yeah, two boys. Aged 3 and 5" said the physio. "How do you leave them in the morning? I've been away from my two for less than an hour and I miss them already" said Tegan. "Ha... trust me, few months from now you're going to beg somebody to take them for a few hours so you can get some peace and quiet" laughed the physio. "Really... I can't imagine that" said Tegan. "Great show on Saturday" said Ann. "Thank you... It was a great night. I was so sore the next day" giggled Tegan. "Well I'm sure you still are. Your back, shoulders... everything's really tight. Which is expected I guess, you went through some major stress after all. Lungs sounding okay though, I'm going to vibrate you and Kate wants me to nebulise you after this" said Ann. "Uh huh. Ahhh I'm feel like minced meat" grunted Tegan. Tegan finally relaxed a bit as the massage went from hard and sore to soft and relaxing. "Oh my... yeees... keep going... I'm so tired" mumbled Tegan into the pillow. A few minutes later Kate entered the cubicle. "She's out like a light" said Anne smiling. "Poor thing's a wreck. I think she's finally starting to relax now" said Kate. "I haven't done the vibrational treatment yet. I'm going to try and nebulise her while she sleeps and shake up after that" said Ann. "Great. If it means a few extra minutes of sleep for her I'm all for it" said Kate. "You may have to consider a muscle relaxant tonight. She's one big knot" said Anne. "Good idea. She's going to have a good night's sleep even if I have to knock out completely" said Kate. "How are those ribs feeling?" asked Anne. "They're okay. Most of the time I don't have any pain but every now and again I do something weird and they act up. But all and all I'm fine" said Kate. "Should I do a bit of ultrasound therapy on them? It will only take a few minutes" said Anne. "Maybe tomorrow?" said Kate eager to get back to Sara.
Kate snuck up to Sara where she was sitting reading in one of the waiting rooms. She put her arms around her neck and kissed her hair. Sara jumped. "You scared me!" she said. "I'm sorry" said Kate softly. "How are all the patients?" asked Sara closing her book. "Everybody's fine. Everybody's stable and resting. Lindsey's asleep and Tegan passed out during her physical therapy session. We're going to leave her for a while to get some rest. Poor thing is so drained" said Kate. "Speaking of... you look exhausted yourself" said Sara putting her palms on Kate's cheeks. "Hmm... I'm fine" smiled Kate. "No you're not... go get some rest honey" said Sara. "Sara... I'm used to working through the night and long shifts. Sara shook her head. "Besides... I'd much rather be making out than sleeping" said Kate. "Oh Dr Morgan... tell me more" joked Sara sneaking in a quick kiss. "Step into my consulting room Miss Quin" joked Kate and pulled Sara up. Kate had a really difficult time not holding Sara's hand as they walked to her office. "Yes Julie I'll get some rest. Thanks for everything. Goodnight, see you in the morning" said Kate to her PA. She looked left and right and pulled Sara into her office. "We have 30 minutes" said Kate.
Sara immediately attacked Kate's lips with hers holding her face in both her hands. "Hang on Sar" mumbled Kate under Sara's kisses. She locked the door and closed the blinds and turned back to Sara. Sara walked backward seductively staring into Kate's eyes. She bit her bottom lip. Kate followed her and was now standing right in front of her. She looked down into Sara's hazel eyes and softly pushed her chest. Sara fell backward onto the couch panting. Kate kept staring into Sara's eyes and slowly sunk down. She placed her knee between Sara's legs and started kissing her face and then her neck seductively. Sara felt Kate's knee move closer to her core and she moved her body downward and pulled Kate's leg up to speed up the process. The hot make-out session continued until Sara could eventually not take anymore. She sat up quickly pulled off Kate's white coat followed by her scrub top. "If it was physically possible, I'd impregnate you right now" giggled Kate.
Sara kissed Kate absentmindedly for a minute. "Um... hang on" said Sara. Kate continued her passionate kisses. "Kate... just... stop for a minute" said Sara and pushed Kate away from her. "What's wrong?" asked Kate confused. "Just... hold up... what did you say about impregnating me?" said Sara. "God... I was joking Sara" said Kate rolling her eyes. "But... how do you think this is going to work? Who's going to be carrying the baby?" asked Sara. "Um... well..." said Kate and stayed quiet looking confused. "Kate?" said Sara folding her arms.
"I haven't really thought about it" said Kate sitting back. "I guess we have a lot to think about" said Sara. "I just... I thought that you could carry the first one because my career is in a really sensitive stage now with me wanting to change specialties" said Kate. "And my career isn't?" asked Sara defensively. "That's not what I said Sara" said Kate. "You can work while you're pregnant you know... you won't be the first pregnant doctor in history" said Sara. "So can you... I thought you're going to be writing and recording for the next year anyway" said Kate. "Yeah... so do you want me to have the baby at the studio or should we bring the recording equipment to the maternity ward" said Sara sarcastically. "I'm not saying I don't want to do it but... I mean... this is a huge decision" said Sara. "Yeah, neither did I... I guess we have a few interesting decisions ahead of us" said Kate and got up. She pulled her shirt back on and walked to the window.
"Kate come back" said Sara. Kate sat down at her desk and spun around in her chair to face Sara. "Look babe... it's just that... in most relationships it's pretty clear how this kind of thing will work but..." said Sara. "Can we talk about this later?" said Kate. "Well we may as well start now" said Sara. "Sara... I really don't want to fight today... I been awake forever... I'm tired and I'm a bit over emotional right now" said Kate. "I don't want to fight either sweetie... hey... look at me... we'll figure it out" said Sara softly. "Yeah..." said Kate leaning back in her chair. "Get back over here lover" said Sara. "Hmmm... not really in the mood anymore" said Kate. "Jeez you don't have to be childish about it" said Sara annoyed. Kate bit her bottom lip, resisting the urge to snap back. She leaned forward and put her elbows on her desk and her head in her hands.
"I'm sorry" whispered Sara putting her hand on Kate's tight shoulders. "I'm sorry too... I don't want to do anything to mess this up" said Kate sounding on the verge of tears. "Hey nobody's messing anything up. As I said, we'll figure it out" said Sara rubbing Kate's shoulders. "Guess we're not in the honeymoon phase of the relationship anymore" said Kate. Sara got in front of Kate and pushed her shoulders back. "I'm glad we're not... because it makes it real... not just pure infatuation anymore... it's real... you and me... and I'll do anything to make this last" said Sara. Kate looked into Sara's eyes and pulled her onto her lap. "I love you" she whispered and started kissing Sara.
Tegan felt a lot better after her physical therapy session and headed back to Lindsey's room where she sat holding her sleeping wife's hand and staring at her babies on the TV screen. "Tegan" said Abby startling Tegan as she entered the room. "Jeremy is outside. He wants to know if the two of you can have a talk?" she said. "Um... sure... how long do you think Linds will be sleeping?" asked Tegan. "For another hour or two I guess" said Abby. "Okay... please call me on my cell phone if she wakes up or if... anything changes" said Tegan. "Sure thing Tegan. I'm still on duty for another few hours" said Abby.
Tegan walked into the waiting room and Jeremy jumped up. He looked like hell. He was unshaven and had bags under his eyes. "Jeremy... I'm glad to see you" said Tegan hugging Jeremy. "Everything okay with Lindsey and the babies?" asked Jeremy. "Yeah they're all doing great" said Tegan. "Tee... can we talk?" asked Jeremy. "Sure... what's on your mind?" said Tegan and gave him a comforting smile. "Um... can we grab a coffee and go somewhere a bit more private?" said Jeremy. Tegan looked around the empty waiting room and frowned. "Okay, but I'm not leaving the hospital. Too many paps outside anyway" she said.
Tegan and Jeremy got some coffee at the visitors station and Jeremy led Tegan to the empty roof of the hospital. "Hmmff... I've heard all about this infamous roof" smiled Tegan looking at the sun setting on the horizon. She sat down on a bench. "So... do you want to tell me where you've been... what's going on?" asked Tegan. Jeremy stayed quiet for a minute sipping his coffee. "Tee... sorry about last night... I just... I needed get some air" said Jeremy. Tegan frowned. "It's okay... I was just really worried about you" said Tegan. "Tegan... I want you to know that you're amazing. You're my best friend and... I love you" said Jeremy. "I love you too Jeremy" said Tegan.
"Um..." mumbled Jeremy. "Take your time" smiled Tegan. "Tee... when you asked me if I would be your sperm donor I didn't hesitate for a second. I wanted to do this for you so badly. Seeing you this happy is one of the best feelings in the world" said Jeremy. "Thank you Jeremy... we're so incredibly grateful to you" said Tegan. "When I heard that there had been some complications in the delivery room I was so scared. For you... for Lindsey... for the babies. For the first time it dawned on me... I mean it actually hit home... that these babies are my flesh and blood. It just... it came from left field and it hit me hard" said Jeremy. "Jer... I" said Tegan before being interrupted by Jeremy. "Tegan let me finish" said Jeremy. Tegan nodded and swallowed hard looking down at her shoelaces.
"I wondered how it would be... if we weren't both giant gaylords... we would be raising these kids together... I wondered if we'd be happy. Those images kept playing back in my mind over and over again. But yeah... we are... gay... and that was never going to happen... We could never be a happy family" said Jeremy. "Jeremy don't do this" said Tegan shaking her head. "Tegan, let me finish! When I did this, I gave you that sperm unconditionally... and with nothing but love. And I know we had... we have... a deal. I know that I will never be daddy to them. I know that and I accept that. I know that legally sperm donors don't have any legal paternal rights and I'm okay with that. I want you guys to be a happy family. I know that nobody in this world would be better parents to them. But... that feeling I got when I saw them the first time. That overwhelming feeling of love... I don't want that to ever cloud my judgement. So I had my lawyer draw this up" said Jeremy handing Tegan an envelope.
Tegan took the envelope looking utterly confused. "I don't understand... what is this?" said Tegan sounding defensive and emotional. "Calm down. It's a letter saying that I will never lay claim to them... even if laws change... that they're yours. I need this to save myself from doing something stupid" said Jeremy wiping his tears away. Tegan melted and took Jeremy in her arms. "Jeremy... dear, sweet Jeremy... I... I don't know what to say... I don't need this... I trust you... Jer... I want you to know that they'll always be in your life. You can see them whenever you want. Sure... I would appreciate it if you respected my and Lindsey's decisions in their lives but you'll always have them Jer. You gave us the greatest gift in the world... you gave us a family. And you... well you'll always be a part of our family" said Tegan, now completely in tears. "Thank you Tee... Nobody I'd rather give that gift to" said Jeremy. He put his arm around Tegan's shoulder and rubbed it as they watched the sunset with Tegan's head on his shoulder.
"I'm going back to Canada for a while Tee" said Jeremy after a few minutes of silence. "No... why?" said Tegan sitting up looking at Jeremy. "I have to clear my head... find myself again because... I don't know... somewhere along the line I lost me" said Jeremy. "I understand... you need to take care of yourself for a change. You're always running around after us... picking up the pieces... I want you to make yourself your number one priority now... but fuck... I'm going to miss you... don't be too long" said Tegan. "I'll be back"' said Jeremy. "I know... we always find our way back to each other" smiled Tegan. "You guys won't be touring for a while so things should be okay" said Jeremy. "We'll be just fine. Take all the time you need" said Tegan. "Thank you Tee... for understanding" said Jeremy. Tegan smiled. "How the fuck did I luck out to have you as a friend... you're amazing' said Tegan. "No I'm not" said Jeremy. "Stop being so Canadian... you are... and Jer... I'll return the favour any day if you want me to. It will be difficult but I'll do it" said Tegan. "I don't expect that Tee... Anyway, I don't know... I'm far from that place, very far" said Jeremy. "You'll find somebody Jeremy... you're going to make somebody so incredibly happy some day" smiled Tegan. "Thank you Tegan... you always know exactly what to say" whispered Jeremy and hugged Tegan again.
"Tell me you're not leaving right away" said Tegan. "I'm leaving tomorrow. I'd like to say goodbye to Lindsey and the babies" said Jeremy. "Of course... God I'm going to miss you" cried Tegan. "Can I call you... can I send you photos... or... do you want some proper distance for a while?" asked Tegan. "I don't know Tegan... I want to say call and send photos but I just don't know yet" said Jeremy. "Okay... I'll leave it up to you... I'll wait for you to contact me" said Tegan. Jeremy nodded. "But please Jer... please don't stay away forever... I don't want to lose you... I really don't want to ever hurt you... or ever lose you. You're so important to me. I love you so much" cried Tegan. "You'll never lose me Tegan. I love you too" whispered Jeremy.
Tegan went back down to Lindsey's room a few minutes later. Lindsey woke up and gave Tegan a groggy smile. "Hey babe" she whispered looking into Tegan's bloodshot eyes. "Hi angel" said Tegan and kissed Lindsey's fingers. "Tee are you okay? You've been crying" said Lindsey looking worried. Tegan closed her eyes and held Lindsey's hand to her cheek. Her bottom lip started to quiver. "Tegan! What's going on, are the babies okay?" said Lindsey snapping her head up to look at the TV screen. "Yeah honey, they're fine" said Tegan. "Then why are you crying? What's going on Boo?" asked Lindsey. "It's a long story... but everything's okay... I promise" said Tegan. "Tee?" said Lindsey not giving up. Tegan wiped her cheek and got up. "Tegan! Talk to me" said Lindsey. "Linds it's nothing... Jeremy and I just had a heart to heart that's all" said Tegan. "What's wrong" said Lindsey. "Nothing's wrong. He said he'll come see you in the morning" said Tegan. Lindsey knew Tegan so well. She knew something was up but she also knew that pushing Tegan any further would not yield positive results.
Tegan sat back down and swiftly changed the subject. "How are you feeling?" she asked. "I'm actually feeling so much better. Hope to be rid of all these wires soon" said Lindsey. "I'm so happy that you're feeling a bit better. You'll be back to your old self in no time" said Tegan and kissed Lindsey's forehead. "How was the therapy session?" asked Lindsey. "Good... hurt like hell but I think she got rid of a few knots and I think the nebuliser helped quite a bit" said Tegan. "You need to take care of yourself Tegan... Ryan and Casey need you healthy" said Lindsey looking serious. "I know... I will" smiled Tegan. "When can we see them again?" asked Lindsey. "Soon I hope, Kate said this evening" said Tegan still looking distracted.
Kate walked into the room a few minutes later looking moody. "Hey" she mumbled. "Hi doc" smiled Lindsey. "Did you get some rest?" asked Kate paging through Lindsey's chart. "Yeah... I got a few hours of sleep" said Lindsey. "Anything I should be aware of?" said Kate starting to examine Lindsey. "No... I feel a lot better" said Lindsey. "Good" mumbled Kate putting her stethoscope in her ears. "When can I see the babies again?" asked Lindsey. Kate gave an tortured sigh. "Can I just focus on you for a few minutes" she said. Tegan frowned and gave Lindsey a questioning look.
"Sorry I just..." said Lindsey. "Lindsey... soon okay... just give me a minute" said Kate annoyed. "What's up with you?" Tegan blurted out. "Nothing... I'm just severely sleep deprived" said Kate rolling her eyes. "Well go and get some sleep... everybody's fine. I'm sure there's more than one ICU doctor in this place" said Tegan. Kate glared at Tegan before ripping her stethoscope out of her ears. "I'm sorry... that was uncalled for. Please accept my apology" said Kate. "Hey no need to apologise. We're very happy that you're taking such good care of Lindsey. Thank you" said Tegan. "No problem" mumbled Kate.
"Okay... everything looks good. Visiting time" said Kate after finishing her exam. "My favourite time of the day" said Lindsey. Kate and a nurse pushed Lindsey's bed out of her room. Sara was standing against a wall and said a quick hi to Tegan and Lindsey. Her hand brushed Kate's lightly and Kate turned her head to Sara. Sara winked at Kate. Kate smiled reluctantly. "I won't be long Sara, then we can go to bed" said Kate. "Can't wait to have you sleeping in my arms" Sara whispered into Kate's ear.
A/N: Sorry for the short hiatus. Had a crazy time at work.
Pretty emotional chapter huh!
Review please! I'd love to hear what you think about these developments.