AN: TW: Again with the blood, and I guess vomit. Also if you haven't finished the series then spoilers for the War.

Part II: Rearrange Me, Make A Home

I didn't think I'd see another war… Kakashi thought grimly, looking out over the field. But battle is what his brain was designed for, stripping everything to its base components and analyzing the situation in a split second. It's why he graduated the Academy at five and made a jounin commander at twelve. He was a Hatake and there were expectations to be upheld. The Hatake clan had produced warriors since before the Villages were formed but now, he was the last. And he was angry.

"They're older than we were." He took the water from Gai and looked out at the third division and ambush company. He flicks the imaginary blood off the hand that had pierced Haku's chest, blood that he had washed off countless times before. Kakashi knew it was only a matter of time before Naruto found out and joined the front, but he was glad that he wasn't here to have seen this. He remembered the featherlight touch against his wrist as he cried on the bridge in the snow over them. He could practically picture the anger and sadness on the young man's face if he had seen them being used like this.

"They're better than we were too," Kakashi replied, slipping down his mask to drink. They're better because of Naruto.

"I gotta find more things that I wanna protect too!"

"Shit!" He swore, leaning to the side and coughing, his eyes tearing up with the force of it and the wound on his stomach reopening. Shit.

"Kakashi?" He heard Gai ask, felt his hand heavy on his shoulder. "I should get Sakura."

"Don't," he wheezed as the flower hit the ground with a wet plop. "I'm fine," he lied, wiping at his mouth.

"You're ill," Gai stated, taking the strange flower in his hand.

"I'm fine," he repeated the lie, holding his hand out, it felt like he could still feel it clawing its way out of his throat. "Such a weird looking thing," he examined the full, and very large, flower. Spiky, leathery petals circling a stained but soft white center like a crown.

"So, there's something you don't know, my rival!" Gai laughed. "It is a Protea!"

"A Protea huh?" He sighed, throat and mouth raw and tasting metallic, this thing had hurt worse than getting sliced by the sword. "What's it mean?" He pulled the book from his pouch.

"Transformation," he replied simply.

"Really," he said skeptically, slipping the flower in the pages.

"My young rival! So hip and cool even in your illnesses!" Gai exclaimed, causing Kakashi to shush the boisterous man before someone overheard.

"Gai, you know what this is?" he asked, raising an eyebrow up at him.

"The great disease of unrequited love!" He sniffles dramatically, sitting down heavily next to him. "Even in love it seems you have to make things difficult Kakashi."

"That's what Pakkun said," Kakashi snorted, tipping his head back against the rock and looking up at the clear sky.

"It would seem that this is one challenge that I cannot compete with you on," Gai sighed, and his hand rests on Kakashi's shoulder again.

"No, you definitely wouldn't be stupid enough to get this."

"I was under the impression that there is a surgery?" He prods carefully.

"Ahh, but would you want me going back to the way I was? Cold-blooded?" Kakashi asked. He might not be good with his feelings or communicating them, but he wasn't about to give them up. He couldn't imagine standing next to his comrades, standing next to Naruto, and feeling the nothing that the surgery would leave behind.

"That is true," Gai hummed thoughtfully. "It would seem the flower could represent you as well as them, my friend."

"I suppose you might be right," he mused, thinking about Naruto and his effect on people, on him.

"May I ask who it is?" Gai's tone was soft and he was almost tempted to tell him, maybe it would help alleviate some of the weight off his shoulders. Gai was his best friend, maybe he would understand more than anyone. But now was not the time.

"Maybe later," Kakashi fixed his mask and got to his feet, reaching out and hauling Zabuza's sword out of the ground. "I believe I did say that I was going to go on a rampage."

He felt the curious flutter of the Kyubi's chakra around his lungs as he wheezed around the small plum blossom. Please don't tell him, he thought, not even sure if the beast could hear him or was aware of what his chakra discovered in his body. But the warm chakra soothed over the piercing ache like a balm and somehow reinvigorated him. Perseverance, and a promise…

"I won't let my friends die!"

Keep reminding me of my promises Naruto. He channeled chakra to his hand and sucker punched Obito in the gut as his torso appeared in this dimension.

"You look like you're in pain Obito," he said as the man's head appeared. This wasn't the Obito that he knew, maybe that Obito was still in there, but he couldn't let it distract him from what was important. Protect him.

Kakashi spins the blue iris, the same shade as Naruto's eyes, in his fingers, thankful that Sakura was still unconscious next to him. He hadn't thought he would be relieved to puke up a flower but here he was. He had felt it when Naruto's heart stopped, felt the roots and vines begin to wither as he was able to take the first full breath in months. It had been terrifying, and then he had seen him lifeless on Gaara's sand with Sakura's hand in his chest. He didn't have near enough chakra for Lady Chiyo's jutsu and they didn't have time, with Obito being controlled by Black Zetsu and Madara bearing down on them. He thought he had failed again.

Then the Number One Hyperactive, Knuckle-headed Ninja had come back brighter and stronger than ever. Kakashi closed his left eye, it felt like he could still feel the warmth of Naruto's hand and the strange feeling of his chakra coursing through his system as his eye reformed. It really was amazing.

Be careful Naruto.

"Love is a complicated thing," the Sage of the Six Paths said behind him and he chuckled. He had a feeling that he was about to be lectured by an ancient being who, up until a few hours ago, had been considered a myth.

"What made you choose Naruto?" Kakashi asked, after listening to the man go on about Sasuke and Madara.

"I could ask you the same thing Kakashi," the Sage grinned knowingly, then looking to the iris. He opened his mouth to argue, to say that he wouldn't have chosen this, that if he actually had a choice, he wouldn't have chosen him. But he found he couldn't bring himself to say that because it wasn't true. He reached into his weapons pouch, fingers running over the worn spine of Tale of the Gutsy Shinobi. Despite his stubbornness and denial, he couldn't help but love him.

He would have chosen him, flowers or not, but the outcome would still be the same. He belonged on the outskirts of his life to help him and make sure that he could accomplish his dreams. Sometimes he wished he had been born in Naruto's generation instead so that they could have grown together… but there was nothing he could do about that.

"There are a lot of reasons why I would choose him," he states, flipping through the petals and flowers until he reached a blank spot for the iris to rest in. "He's the strongest person I know. I told Obito that with him I feel I can finally see," he paused, feeling something change in the air pressure. Are you fighting yet? "He's never given up on me or let me go, even though I've done nothing to deserve it. I would have been long dead if it wasn't for him." The Sage of the Six Paths was silent and Kakashi thought he felt another flower blooming in his chest.

"Well if Uzumaki Naruto managed to change Kurama, an embodiment of hatred, then I'm hoping this time around things will be different. For both of them," he finally said. "Maybe they can regain something that they have both lost. You as well."

"What am I supposed to do?" Kakashi asked, feeling as helpless as he had when he was forced to stay behind the barrier seventeen years ago.

"If you are asking about the fight, I cannot tell you what to do other than hope and have faith in them. If you are asking about personal matters then I cannot tell you to not use that jutsu either," he pauses and Kakashi feels like he now understands why Naruto always came back annoyed after speaking with the Great Toad Sage. "But if things go well then I believe you have the answer right there," he gestured to the book. "Should you choose to face it."

Kakashi catches the kunai, not looking up from Icha Icha as the ring of the blade spun lazily around his finger. He wasn't surprised that the blonde would try to get the jump on him, he probably would have succeeded too if the wind hadn't shifted. He was ever grateful for his sense of smell as he was able to stuff the pansies he had been spitting out since he returned to the Village into his pocket and regain his usual composure before the weapon came flying at him.

"Now Naruto, that's not very nice," he pretends to chastise, "But your strength has gotten better since I saw you last." He looked up at Naruto, the teen was beaming at him as he walked across the grass. It had been four months since the war ended already and Naruto was back to looking hale and hearty again. But he looked tired, and Kakashi couldn't tell if it was from still recovering or something else.

"Kakashi! I think you've been avoiding me!" Naruto accused, still smiling as he ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't wearing his headband and his hair was longer than usual, the breeze causing it to fan around his face more.

"I have?" He asked, arching an eyebrow. He had been of course, requesting mission after mission just to keep busy and stay out of the Village, much to Tsunade's annoyance. Not that it stopped the flowers or made him feel any better, in fact looking at Naruto now seemed to alleviate the pressure a little bit. But things were finally starting to wind down as the negotiations between the nations were settling and there was nothing pressing that he was needed for.

"Yes," he replies bluntly, plopping down across from him. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Well you see, there are these things called missions," he drawled in response, handing the kunai back.

"Oh, shut up. You've been sent out a lot, Granny won't even let me leave yet," he pouted, plucking at the grass. That's because you're too valuable.

"Ah being a genin does suck," Kakashi teased, smiling, Naruto was still so restless. He felt the flowers in his chest move and he repressed a cough.

"Hey! Isn't there anything you could do about that?" Blue eyes turn intently to him.

"I'm not the Hokage yet." I don't think that's a promise I will get to keep anyway… sorry Obito.

"Yeah, but you're gonna be," he shrugs, a soft smile still playing at his mouth. "Can't you, y'know," he waggled his fingers, his smile turning mischievous.

"Your bribery skills need some work," Kakashi chuckled and Naruto sputtered.

"Ugh fine! I'll be a genin forever, who cares!" He yelled, flinging himself back and Kakashi found himself noticing how the vibrant green of the grass framed his tan skin.

"How have you been?" He decides to ask, pretending to turn his attention back to Tactics.

"Eh," Naruto shrugged, lifting his left hand up in the air and watching the sunlight filter through his fingers. "It's been weird honestly, all the attention. People keep asking for my autograph, like after Pain, but I don't know what to tell them."

"What can you expect? You're the Savior of the World." Naruto pulls a face, scrunching up his nose and sticking his tongue out at the moniker.

"It's not like I did it alone," he let his arm flop back by his side. "I mean, we all fought Madara and that crazy rabbit lady, y'know? It wasn't just me. All I did was kick some sense back into Sasuke."

"I think we would all agree that you did much more than that," Kakashi shakes his head. He imagined Naruto at twelve running around and screaming for acknowledgment, and now that he had what he finally deserved he felt uncomfortable with the positive attention.

"If you say so," the teen said softly, shrugging one shoulder against the ground. Kakashi reached out before he could stop himself, his gloved hand settling on his wrist.

"Naruto don't be ashamed of what you've done. You played a major part in saving every one of us, hell you even performed some miracles out there," he gestured to his eye and thought of Gai, still recovering in the hospital but alive. "Now, you certainly don't owe anyone your autograph, but you should accept that you did good and people are going to want to thank you for it." Naruto's blue eyes were wide as he took in what he said. "Okay?"

"Yeah," he nodded, smiling softly.

"But don't let it go to your head too much, otherwise the hat won't fit when you take it," he smiled, picking up his book and relaxing again as Naruto laughed.

"You're better at this than the others, especially Sasuke." Kakashi snorted, he hadn't seen the Uchiha since they returned to the Village. Sasuke was under constant watch while the council were deciding what to do with him and Kakashi knew Naruto was still fighting for him. Not that anyone could stand against them in the first place.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Naruto shook his head, smiling and shifting to sit against the tree next to him.

"Are you home now for a while?" Kakashi thinks he might hear something hopeful in the lilt of the question.

"It would seem that way," he answered.

"That's good," Naruto hummed in acknowledgment and they fell into a comfortable silence. It was no surprise to Kakashi when he felt Naruto's head roll gently against his shoulder a few minutes later, soft snores coming from him. Naruto could always fall asleep so quickly. He sighed and closed Icha Icha, turning his head slightly to breathe in his crisp scent. He couldn't deny that it did feel good to be home.

He caught Naruto by the elbow when the young man tried to get up too soon.

"Slow down," he said softly, tightening his grip as he swayed. "They can wait a little longer." Kakashi could tell the fight had been brutal, the destruction of it had nearly leveled the valley and was felt for miles. But Naruto, being Naruto, wanted to get up and release the Tsukuyomi the second Sakura had barely finished healing him. The one blue eye that wasn't completely swollen shut turned toward him.

"I'm fine Sensei," he grinned up at him. "We gotta go end this, right Bastard?" He turned toward Sasuke who was still sitting on the rock. Kakashi examined him carefully, something had definitely changed in him, he could see it in his eye. The outcome that the Sage had hoped for had come true.

"Well Naruto, if you insist on being impatient," Kakashi sighed, putting on the poor 'put-upon sensei' look he had worn when the genin had been particularly restless. Naruto's smile grew, and Sakura let out a wet laugh, rubbing at her eyes before helping Sasuke to his feet. Team Seven was finally back. "I would offer to carry you," he said just to him as he slung Naruto's arm over his shoulder. "But unfortunately, I haven't fully recovered just yet."

"Let's just lean on each other than Kakashi," Naruto snickered and then cringed as if he had forgotten that he had had the shit kicked out of him.

"Yeah, let's do that."

Kakashi closed his eyes, letting himself finally give into the warmth that always accompanied the younger man. He was tired and Naruto seemed like the perfect place to lean against.

"You have your answer right there, should you choose to face it."

Kakashi had faced many things in his thirty-one years. He had faced armies, monsters, death, even an ancient goddess without so much as blinking but this… love… this was something that made him falter. He wondered if he should go see Gai and finish the conversation they had during the war. He definitely needed to come clean to Tsunade and Yamato had been giving him funny looks since the incident in the Land of Iron and he wondered if maybe the man could sense the flowers somehow…

"For a genius you're pretty dim you know that?" That's what Kushina would say if she saw him stewing in his head like this.

"It's unhealthy to bottle it all in. One day that big head of yours is gonna pop."

"Hey Naruto," his voice is a whisper, listening carefully for a change in his breathing as he barely brushed his fingers against his "My lungs have been slowly filling with flowers for almost a year now. I know that sounds crazy, but we've been up against some crazy shit lately huh?" He grinned to himself. "Turns out that I'm in love. Hmm? That's even crazier than the flowers? Tell me about it," he sighed, feeling absolutely ridiculous but he kept going, his voice even quieter now. "Do you think maybe you could save your old Sensei again?" He held his breath, the only sound he could hear was Naruto's soft snores and the leaves rustling in the breeze. But then the pain hit.

His hand flew up to his mouth, the smell of his own blood hitting his nose as he tried not to wretch. He clenched his jaw against the rise of flowers, carefully trying to separate himself without waking the sleeping blonde and shunshin home.

"Fuck," he managed to gasp out, body shaking and hunched over on his hands and knees in the entryway of his apartment. "Fuck." He glares at the gory mess in front of him, wiping his chin of blood and sweat. For a minute there he didn't think that it was going to stop. This really is an awful way to die… Bull nudged at his side, trying to get his large head under his arm and help him up but he stays put. There was more than one type of flower in the mess. Pansies, astilbes, a sunflower, a tulip… these fucking flowers were starting to get too literal for his taste.

"Boss." The high whine of distress from the pack reaching him. "You gotta tell him."

He tries, or at least he tells himself that he does, over the next month. He spends time with Naruto, mostly on their own or with the members of the team. He helps him train even though Naruto complains when Kakashi won't let him use chakra limbs to compensate for his arm. He has to come up with new excuses for when he's late because he couldn't breathe, or he has to make a quick exit. Naruto always calls him out on it, but he doesn't question him, and it makes the flowers come quicker. When they're done and tired and Naruto's stomach growling can be heard clear across the training grounds, they go and get Ichiraku Ramen and Naruto smiles like the sun had just come up.

At the end of the day Kakashi allows himself to think maybe when he's lying in bed and going through the moments. Naruto had somehow managed to puppy-dog eye Yamato into remaking a smaller waterfall on their training ground and it was the blonde's favorite spot to talk about everything and nothing. Naruto's different after the war even though he sees how the teen tries to hide it in front of the others. He's still loud and cocky but then he goes contemplative and Kakashi can see the wheels turning in his head as he reaches for the arm that's not there. But as soon as Kakashi reaches out the moment passes, and he hopes that Naruto knows that he's there for him.

Kakashi tries to come clean. He summons up the courage to tell Naruto the truth in a moment of quiet, but every time without fail one of Naruto's friends would interrupt them. It didn't help that he also saw Naruto and Hinata spend more time together. They looked good together, natural, and it was no secret that Hinata had been harboring feelings for him since they were children. She would be good for him…

"That's kinda pretty." He was pulled from his thoughts as Naruto stopped to stoop in front of a bush, gently touching the tiny orange flowers.

"It's a butterfly weed," Kakashi said, coming to a stop behind him.

"It's nice," Naruto smiled, picking off a bundle of the small star-shaped blossoms. "I should ask Ino if it's got some secret meaning or something."

"Let me go," he said softly.

"Huh?" Naruto looked up at him, face scrunched up in confusion.

"That's what it means," Kakashi cleared his throat, feeling the prickling of thorns against his lungs and threatening to pierce.

"You just made that up Sensei. How the hell do you know that?" He frowned incredulously.

"I read," Kakashi tried to shrug it off, looking away from the intense stare Naruto was giving him.

"Yeah but isn't hanakotoba more of a kunoichi thing?"

"That's a bit closed-minded of you don't you think?" he replied drily. "But I like to be prepared. You never know, you might need to send a message and all you have on hand is flowers," he shrugged again. It was a half-truth; he had had the book on hanakotoba for a mission and a vague interest, but he had never really paid attention to it before.

"I guess that's actually pretty smart," Naruto nods, turning his attention back to the bush. "I just didn't expect it to mean something so depressing y'know?"

"Most colorful things do."

"Wow okay," he threw his head back as he laughed. "This is too much, let's go eat!" He jumps up, smiling as he hands Kakashi the flower he picked, and the symbolism is too much. Now's your chance.

"Naruto," he starts, feeling the petals already against his molars.

"Hey, are you okay?" His smile fades and Kakashi sees a faint flicker of gold along his hand.

"Yes," he bites out a little too quickly. "Well actually no," he tried to correct just as hastily, and Naruto looks more and more confused with every passing second and there's a rattle in his lungs that's telling him to cough but he can't because he doesn't know if he'd be able to stop.

"What does that mean? You should tell me if you're sick or something Kakashi," He steps forward and his body is encased in the golden chakra because he wants to heal you! His mind is screaming as he takes a step back and suddenly it's not Naruto in front of him but Rin. Hand outstretched as she asks permission to heal him after a fight. Her brown eyes filled with such compassion and concern that he had never seen on anyone else. Until now that is… and suddenly he can't breathe for a completely different reason. Because Rin had had feelings for him, and he had been the one responsible for her death. He can't…

"It's just," he carefully clears his throat, the taste of rust flooding his mouth. "It's just a cold, I'm fine." The chakra cloak vanished as Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You don't need to worry about me." Naruto would want to try to heal him. But what will he do when he finds out he might not be able too?

"Ha," Naruto grinned and shook his head. "You always tell me to take care of myself and here you are getting sick!"

"Ah, I suppose you're right," he managed to smile, slipping his hands into his pockets and noticing a familiar figure approaching. "Here comes Hinata and her team." There's a prickling in his throat and he knows he needs to make an exit.

"Huh?" Naruto whips around and Kakashi notices the way his ears tinge slightly pink as he waves at the trio.

"How about this time you go to lunch with them hmm?" He suggested. "I'll see you later."

"Hey, hold on Ka-" He catches the glimpse of flashing blue eyes right before he disappears in a puff of smoke.

He realizes once he gets a safe distance away that he's still holding the butterfly weed.

"You better be here to finally tell me you're ready to succeed me. It's about time we've had this damned conversation," Lady Tsunade snapped, not even bothering to look up from the papers on her desk. Kakashi had been dreading this conversation and had hoped to avoid it for as long as possible. She looked tired to Kakashi, and for the first time in years, older. The war had taken a lot out of her, which made this worse.

"Are you sure? We could always put it off for another month or so," he shrugged.

"Don't get cute," she glared at him, reaching into her desk drawer to pull out a bottle of sake and two glasses. "The council has already approved you, hell the other Kage have already approved you. We need to start planning your inauguration." Stop wasting time. Just spit it out, he took a deep breath.

"Ah, I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, but I can't be your successor," he said, folding his hands behind his back.

"Dammit Kakashi!" She slammed her hand on the table, standing up in anger. "I'm too tired to deal with your laziness or your aversion for being in authority. It's already been decided, I thought we were beyond this. Why the hell are you stripping?" Her anger turned to confusion as he started to unzip his flak vest.

"I've been putting this off, but I need a medical exam," he answered solemnly, holding his hands up in surrender. Lady Tsunade glared up at him incredulously for a moment.

"I would accuse you of trying to pull something but unfortunately I know you better. You would never ask for a checkup," she sighed, stepping around from her desk. "What exactly is the problem then?"

"My lungs," Kakashi said softly, already anticipating the reaction. Her frown deepened as she stepped forward, hands glowing green. He opted for looking out the window instead of down at her face, but he still felt the moment that she tensed, and the glow intensified. This feels different than the Kyubi's chakra, he thought idly as he felt the jutsu push uncomfortably against his lungs.

"How long?" Lady Tsunade finally asked, her tone low and Kakashi couldn't tell if it was from concern or restrained anger.

"A year," he answered, flinching from the sting as she smacked him.

"A year? A year! Dammit Kakashi!" She yelled, stepping away from him. "I knew you were difficult but this? This is ridiculous! Who is it?" He remained quiet. What was he going to do? Tell her that he was he had been sick over her precious brat all this time? She would only kill him faster. "If you won't tell me then I order you as your Hokage to tell them!"

"Ah, either way I'm still dead," he said lightly, slipping his arms back through the vest. He had started to hear rumors around the Village now about a certain couple.

"You're sure about this?" She asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's not something that you can change, Lady Tsunade," he answered instead, feeling his throat close up with the weight of it. He was surprised when her face crumpled.

"I'm sorry Kakashi," she sighed, going back to her seat and downing the cup of sake. "I've never seen it, but I've heard of it. I can research the surgery."

"No."

"Don't be stubborn Kakashi, you're the next Hokage, you can't just let this-"

"Think about it," he cut her off. "We've just accomplished peace throughout the Villages. Can we afford to have a leader that can't even feel?" Tsunade's look is hard as she contemplates the ramifications of that.

"You're right, you're right," she sighed again, slumping into her chair. "So, Genius, do you have any ideas on how we should handle this?"

"I don't want people to know," it was his turn to sigh. "Is there any way we can just… keep going as we are?"

"You want to keep up the charade that you are my successor?" She poured another cup, gesturing for Kakashi to take his. He didn't usually oblige her, but the situation was different this time.

"Just say that you want to see the formation of the Shinobi Union through. It'll be at least another year before that's on its feet," he explained. Tsunade's eyebrow twitched at the prospect and she quickly took another shot.

"What is it that you want then, Kakashi?" Her eyes are sad when she looks at him and Kakashi felt another pain in his chest.

"When the time comes I just," he thinks of Naruto, smiling broadly and eyes sparkling as he held out the orange flowers. I'd have liked to have seen him accomplish his dreams. "I want you to let me go."

AN:

So I went for a version of the Hanahaki surgery where you lose all emotions when you get the surgery not just love or feelings for the loved one.

The flowers I didn't define:

Blue Iris - Faith and hope
Pansies - You occupy my thoughts
Astilbe - I'll be waiting for you
Sunflower - Warmth, adoration
Tulip - I declare my love for you