TW: Sakumo's death is mentioned

Part IV: My Scars Are Made of Gold

Kakashi meandered down the dusty road, following the crumbling power lines towards where his father's house once stood, the old structure being wiped out with Pain's attack. It had been a long time since he ventured down this path, but now they were just home from the war he was feeling compelled to visit one more time.

He had left the house when he left ANBU, thinking it would be for the best to make a clean break and start over, thought maybe he'd be able to forget with one less ghost hanging over his head. He could hear the river ahead but paused when he saw a familiar blonde figure sitting on the bank. Why is he out here? he thought, feeling the prickle in his throat. Naruto was reclining on the grass in shorts and a t-shirt, his calves submerged in the water and a look of contentment on his face. He briefly thought he should leave; it could be dangerous near him and it didn't seem like Naruto had sensed him yet.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto suddenly craned his head around. Oops, too late.

"Yo," he nodded at him still standing by the road, he could still turn around or keep walking, he didn't have to stay. "Are you fishing?" He asked, gesturing to the crude fishing pole comprised of a stick and string propped between two rocks.

"Not really," he laughed. "Are you ever casual?" He asked, grinning at Kakashi's usual attire.

"This is casual," he shrugged, reaching down to slip off his sandals. "Why are you all the way out here?"

"It's just a nice day," it was his turn to shrug and Kakashi felt his eyes on him as he undid the wrappings around his legs and cuffed his pants. "You?"

"It's a nice day," he parroted, sitting down next to him and slipping his feet into the cool water.

"Hmm fair enough," the blonde smiled and relaxed back on his hand and Kakashi hummed. He had forgotten how nice it could be out here, quiet, that is when his companion wasn't Naruto. "You okay?" Naruto asked.

"I should be asking you that." Naruto was paler than usual, he still had bruises and scrapes littering his skin, and he could see the faint line of bandages under his shirt. "Are you even allowed to be out here?" He ventured and Naruto cringed as he was caught.

"I left a clone," he smiled sheepishly. "Figure I still have a couple hours before Sakura notices."

"It's amazing you've somehow made it this far," he said sardonically, picking up a smooth pebble, he weighed it in his hand before channeling a little bit of chakra to his fingers and skipping it across the surface of the river where it disappeared downstream.

"Yeah, yeah," he snorted, looking for a rock of his own. The pebble glowed blue with too much chakra and bounced once before sinking and Naruto scowled. "How did you do that?"

"Chakra control," he smirked, finding another rock to throw.

"Pfft smartass," he grumbled. "I did used to fish out here y'know," he said, gesturing to further down the river as he changed the conversation. "Back when I was a kid."

"I can't imagine you being patient enough to fish," he joked.

"Aw shut up," Naruto grumbled, shoving lightly at his side. "I did all right for myself. But usually, I just ate cup ramen cuz it was cheap and easy."

"I'm aware, I've been to your apartment," Kakashi chuckled. "You also had a propensity to drink expired milk."

"That was one time!" He pouted. "And I've gotten better with vegetables and cooking just so you know!"

"Thank god," he sighed dramatically. "I used to fish out here too," he added. He remembered the one time Obito and Rin had followed him to watch. They both kept saying how amazing he was, but really, he was just doing what he thought he was supposed to.

"Really?" Naruto perked up; his interest caught. "Like with a pole or your hands like some badass?" A grin was playing at his mouth.

"With a pole," he scoffed, smiling fondly under his mask. "After my father died, I would fish for my meals."

"Huh," he said thoughtfully. "I can kind of picture that. Did he teach you?" Kakashi could tell Naruto was being careful with his words.

"Yeah, we lived here, and he liked to fish when he got home from a mission."

"Wait, what?!" Naruto jumped up to his feet and Kakashi reached up to steady him as he wobbled. "Show me where you lived Kakashi-sensei!"

"The house is gone Naruto," he squinted up at him, the sun forming a halo behind his head.

"So? Come on!" Naruto urged, smiling as he grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. The excitement radiating off of him was infectious and Kakashi let himself be dragged along the grass, Naruto's fingers warm against his wrist and their sandals forgotten. The anxiety he had felt before melting away as a warm memory of holding his father's hand and talking about his day at the Academy came to mind.

"Here," he said, coming to a stop, his arm flopping to his side as Naruto let go. The rice fields were long gone, and the grass and weeds were overtaking the plot, but he could still picture his small house. Naruto stood at his side and the flowers in his ribcage seemed oddly calm at that moment. Kakashi walked across the grass, through where the entrance in the fence used to stand and then over the imaginary threshold. I'm home.

"It's nice," Naruto said softly, looking around the land as if he could see into Kakashi's memories. "Do you still own the land?"

"I suppose so," he hummed, he hadn't thought much about it since he had left. "I should probably sell it." I guess I could leave it to someone or maybe just let the Village have it…

"You could always rebuild," Naruto suggested, blue eyes slowly making their way back to Kakashi's.

"You want to help?" He meant it as a joke, but the teen's face lit up and Kakashi felt the flowers move, as if gravitating towards the warmth.

"Yeah, why not? We could be done in no time with-"

"No shadow clones," Kakashi cut over him but he was smiling. Shit, he shouldn't be encouraging this.

"What! What kind of bullshit rule is that!" Naruto yelled.

"Having a hundred of you during wind training was stressful enough. If we're going to build the house, we'll do it right," he sighed, noticing a mischievous glint in the blonde's eyes. "And that means not asking Captain Yamato to use his jutsu either," he laughed as Naruto sputtered. He really should stop but…

"Okay fine, we'll build it the boring way," he stuck his tongue out petulantly and Kakashi felt his heart stutter at the we, and he wondered if the painful rattle in his lungs is as loud as he thinks it is. "Let me at least use clones for the weeds."

"I'll concede to that," he nodded. "I'll leave the yard work and gardening to you."

"Yes!" His smile really was beautiful.

"Why does that make you happy?" He hears himself ask and Naruto blinks up at him, smile softening and his face flushing slightly as he pushed the hair out of his face.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "It's just, y'know, why wouldn't I want to be there for you?" You've done so much for me already. "Hey! Wouldn't this make you happy? It's your house." Would it? If he had years instead of months left, if maybe he wasn't such a coward and had the chance to spend those years with him then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"I suppose so," he answered nonchalantly, and the teen snorted.

"You're going to be really difficult, aren't you?" Naruto huffed, rolling his eyes.

"It is my house," he stated, crossing his arms.

"Well yeah," Naruto dragged the word out. "But I've seen your apartment and," he trailed off, looking like he had said more than he meant to.

"And?" He intoned, mildly enjoying watching the other fidget.

"Well, your place is kinda boring," he mumbled under his breath.

"If I let you decorate then I'm sure there would be an overabundance of orange and ramen posters," he said drily.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," his smirk had a devilish quality to it as he sidled over to stand in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitance crossed over his features and he averted his eyes. "Y'know I bet the pack would like it better out here too."

"You just want to play with them," he sighed, pretending to be exasperated.

"I wouldn't say no," the playful grin is back as he rocked on his heels.

"You do know that they could tear you limb from limb, right?" Not that they'd ever turn on Naruto. He had told them back before he left to face Hiruko that they could go where they wanted but he had wanted them to be there for Naruto and to watch his back.

"Yeah, but they love me. Come on!" He urged. "It'd be fun!" Kakashi rolled his eyes, looking put upon but went through the motions to summon them, it had been a while since they'd had proper exercise and Naruto would wear them out.

"It's been a long time since we've been out here," Pakkun said, tail wagging as he sat next to Kakashi on the grass.

"Yes, it has," he hummed, his vest was unzipped, and he was idly drawing the Hatake clan symbol in the dirt next to where Naruto had drawn a sloppy and large version of the Uzumaki swirl, claiming his imaginary spot next to him.

"And with Naruto." In front of them the blonde was pinned to the grass underneath Bull and laughing while the others licked at his face. "Are you going to tell him Boss?" He looked down at the pug, his doleful brown eyes staring up at him.

"I don't know Pakkun," he whispered. "A lot has happened."

"Things are calm now," the pug stated simply. "It could be time to start over again." Kakashi hummed again, letting his gaze travel to his right where his father's room used to be. Half expecting to see the bloody scar that his body left behind, but all he saw was green grass and dandelions. Healing and survival…

"It looks like it's not your time yet. You still have things to do." Maybe if the ghosts on this property could move on, he could too.

"Oi Kakashi-sensei!" He looked back to Naruto, winded, covered in grass stains and looking absolutely pleased with himself. He was sure he was going to get an earful when Tsunade or Sakura inevitably found out, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not when the teen looked so happy and like nothing had changed at all. "I'm hungry!"

"Naruto, you're always hungry," he called back, standing and brushing the dirt off his pants.

"Well yeah," he shook his head like it was obvious. "But you owe me!"

"Ah I do, do I?" He slouched his shoulders; he really did owe him. "Am I going to have to feed you like last time?" He teased and Naruto's ears turned pink as he sputtered.

"No!" He shouted, taking off for where they left their shoes.

Later, when he's back at home after saving Naruto from dumping a bowl of ramen into his lap and after receiving a stern verbal beating by Sakura, he quietly coughed up a bird's nest and held it in his hands. Sanctuary, he thought, gently running his fingers over the small, delicate white fronds. His father had once described his mother as a sanctuary for him, a safe harbor for him to come home to after countless bloody missions. But when she was gone, he had nothing left. No one to heal him from the pain… Kakashi was reluctant to let Naruto heal him, physically or otherwise, mainly because he was afraid that he would find out what was growing in his chest, but also because Naruto had experienced enough pain in his life. He didn't need Kakashi's scars or darkness on top of it. He slipped the bird's nest in the pages and tapped the cover against his lips.

Sanctuary, it was a nice thought.

Kakashi was warm, so deliciously warm and his mind, for the first time in his entire life, was gloriously blank. He didn't need to think anymore. He sighed into the warmth and nothingness, content to just rest here forever. There was someone next to him though, their chakra was bright like the sun and threading in with his so seamlessly, with a scent like citrus and grass and summer days by the river… and there was something else.

Flowers. So many flowers. Pushing through his lungs, up his throat and out, roots cracking his chest open as the flowers in his body turned toward the sun. It hurts.

He gasped awake, breathing ragged as his eyes flicked around the ceiling. Everything was fuzzy but he wasn't dead, wasn't he supposed to be dead? The hospital, he realized as he took stock of his body. Everything ached miserably and the ever-present pressure on his lungs was overwhelming. His wheezing breaths loud in the silence. He let his head roll to the side, causing the sheet to slip down his nose and froze when he saw the black hood over a familiar blonde head resting on the edge of the bed. Fuck. He remembered talking to him at the waterfall and trying to come clean before the attack hit.

"Naruto," he breathed, voice barely audible and his throat painfully raw like someone had stuffed a handful of shuriken down it. Naruto's head snapped up; blue eyes bleary as he looked wildly around the room before settling on him.

"Kakashi!" He was up in a flash, leaning over him and looking concerned. But the expression quickly melted away and was replaced with an odd combination of embarrassment and horror before he slapped his hand over his eyes and whirled around. "You, your face is uncovered." Kakashi felt something wrench in his chest.

"It's fine, you must have seen it," he said.

"Yeah, but it's not like you wanted me to, it was just there," he flailed his arm out in his direction and if Kakashi had the energy he might have laughed. "I tried not to look but I didn't have much choice and you had none which just made it worse!"

"Am I that ugly?" he asked, hearing the waver in his own voice as he tried to joke. He watched with mild amusement as Naruto's ears flushed a color rivaling Kushina's hair and he pushed himself up into a sitting position, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to catch his breath. He was really still alive, but how long had he been out? Looking towards the window told him that it was night outside and he could still feel so that meant Tsunade didn't do the surgery against his will.

"N-No!" Naruto stammered out, shoulders climbing up to his ears as he tensed. "Dammit you bastard! How are you making jokes right now?" He yelled, whirling back around to face him with his hand still covering his face. Kakashi found he really wanted to see his eyes right now.

"It's how I cope," he continued, causing the young man to growl in annoyance. "Naruto you can see my face," he added softly.

"Really?" His shoulders relax back down.

"Yes." He watched as Naruto seemed to wrestle internally with something before slowly bringing his hand down and then peeling open his eyes. He's been crying, Kakashi swallowed heavily as he noticed the wetness in his eyes and the faint tear tracks on his flushed face.

"Are… are you feeling okay?" His fingers go to pluck at the edge of his white shirt. His eyes are red and tired, clothes crumpled, and his hair was more wild than usual. "You said you were dying, and Granny tried to explain it more but-"

"I am," he interrupted, folding his hands in his lap and feeling immensely exposed with Naruto's eyes on him and without his mask or even Icha Icha in his hand. "Naruto I'm sorry."

"For what?" Again, Kakashi is having a hard time reading the emotions on Naruto's face. "For being an ass and keeping secrets? Or for liking me?"

"I don't just like you, I love you." Naruto frowned, looking away and his right hand was twitching again, this time Kakashi let himself reach out. Feeling that same and steady warmth that always accompanied the man seep through the bandages. The blonde jumped, looking down at their joined hands with wide eyes. "Naruto…"

"For a genius you're pretty dim, you know that?" Kakashi flinched because that's exactly what Kushina used to say to him.

"What-," he starts to ask but angry blue eyes are piercing right through him, and then Naruto's moving too fast for his muzzy brain to track and lips are being smashed too harshly against his own, teeth clacking but he doesn't ease up. Naruto's hands are in his hair, holding him like he might disappear and Kakashi's own are desperately trying to pull him closer. It's not a good kiss, it's painful, and needy, showing both the inexperience and desperation between them, but it's still everything. He was still here, still alive, Naruto kept saving him.

"I'm supposed to be the dumb one," Naruto breathed when he pulled away. His eyes are wet again and Kakashi wipes it away with his thumb.

"No, you aren't," he tried to grin up at him. "I didn't think, Naruto… why?" He was having a hard time wrapping his brain around the fact that Naruto just kissed him.

"Well, if you'd stop fucking running away," he huffed, sitting on the edge of the bed and scrubbing at his eyes.

"I'm not good at this. I've spent most of my life avoiding things like this," he tried to explain, taking Naruto's hand back in his own to keep him still. I was known as Cold-blooded and the Friend Killer for a reason.

"You think I know what the hell to do?" Naruto glared at him, pulling at their joined hands. "You know me! I can barely string a sentence together sometimes, so how was I supposed to… I dunno, figure it out when you weren't there?" His voice is getting louder and Kakashi worried that someone might overhear him.

"It was supposed to be easier this way." That seemed to get Naruto even more annoyed.

"For who huh? It wasn't easy for me and it couldn't have been easy for you to be dying!" He scowled at him. "And for two fucking years?" Naruto stood up again, looking like he wanted to pace or maybe punch something and Kakashi could feel the anxious way his chakra was moving.

"Naruto," he groaned. "You were sixteen and too young, you're still young," he emphasized, and Naruto's scowl deepened. "I didn't want to force you into an uncomfortable situation, and I never expected that you could possibly return my feelings. Why would you?" Naruto deflated a little and looked away again. "Why, out of everyone, do you keep saving me?" The blonde worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Kakashi leaned back against the pillow, watching the thoughts flicker across his face. He was tired still, but they had so much to talk about and knowing how they both were this could take a while.

"Because you're important to me Kakashi," Naruto said softly. "You've always been important to me."

"Naruto, you're the strongest person I know. I wouldn't be here without you." At that, the blonde rolled his eyes and tried to pull away but Kakashi kept him still with his hands on his face, pulling him close so that he focuses on what he's saying. "You already bear so much on your shoulders and I didn't want to add to that, but I did and I'm sorry that I hurt you." It's not enough, it won't ever be enough. Naruto's eyes are wide, and he sees sadness and uncertainty and his heart breaks with the thought that he had been the one to put it there.

"I don't want you to die." His breath is hot as it fans across his face and he looks into dark blue eyes.

"It's okay Naruto," he said quickly, feeling the dread sink in and not wanting Naruto to rush into something he didn't mean.

"Says the guy dying from being in love!" Naruto shouted, pushing away again. "And it's because you're in love with me! How is that okay Kakashi-sensei?"

"You don't need to return my feelings. That's why I didn't want," he trailed off. He couldn't keep hiding behind excuses, he thought tiredly. "I was scared Naruto."

"You know Hinata was the one to tell me that I might feel that way towards you. Argh!" He groaned loudly, scrubbing at his face and hair with his hands. "I don't know what to say! I thought, I thought… everyone was telling me about Hinata, and she's great! But the whole time I just kept thinking about you and what mission were you on and were you safe because I could feel," he grasped at his shirt over his chest and when he looked up there was the pigment of red around his yellow eyes. "I could feel that something was wrong, but I couldn't tell what and," the Sage mode drops, and those ocean eyes look as tired as he feels, and he wants to gather the young man in his arms and never let go. "And it's just…" Naruto's hands drop to his lap and he wonders when exactly he had become so good at hiding what he was thinking. But before he could ask Naruto was leaning in again, this time the kiss was hesitant and soft, just barely brushing their lips together. Naruto always was one for action over words and Kakashi wrapped his arms around him, pulling them back onto the bed burying his nose into his hair to breathe in his scent over the smells of the hospital. They weren't okay, he wasn't sure if they'd even get the chance to be okay. But he felt something settle throughout his body that almost allowed him to hope otherwise.

"Naruto?" He started, not quite sure how to finish the question he wanted to ask.

"I'm pissed as hell at you," Naruto answered, picking up on what he was going to say. "But I think I really might love you, so please don't die until I can figure it out." He saw a flicker of gold along Naruto's hand as he placed it on his chest and then there was that familiar tingling in his bones, he put his own hand over the wrapped fingers. Kakashi wasn't sure what he expected to happen in his chest if Naruto ever returned his feelings. Something dramatic maybe? To go with all the pain that the flowers had caused, but instead he just felt an overwhelming sense of calm, like an ocean without waves. He pulled Naruto closer, threading his fingers through blonde hair.

"Okay," he said softly as Naruto relaxed, settling his head into the hollow of his shoulder like it was meant to be there. "I'm not going to run anymore. I'm sorry."

"I'll come after you if you do," he threatened, squeezing him tighter. Naruto slipped off into sleep first and Kakashi watched his eyes flicker beneath his lids and there was that delicate wrinkle between his brows. He had fucked up enough and wasted enough time on running and making excuses.

I might never deserve you, but I will sure as hell try. You've never given up on me Naruto and even if you change your mind one day, I will still be there to catch you when you fall.

Kakashi was cold when he woke up the next morning. He reached out, searching the sheets, but he knew what he'd find, Naruto's scent was already faint under the stench of bleach and disinfectants. He sat up and threw off the covers, running his hands over his face and hair. The cough surprised him, short and sharp, and then a small four-petaled white flower was sitting in his hand and he could breathe. He took another deep breath just to be sure, the last remnants of the roots and thorns withering away as his heart pounded in his chest.

Naruto loves me. He stood a little too quickly, ignoring the head rush as he threw on his clothes.

"Kakashi?" Pakkun frowned up at him. "Are we-?"

"Let's go find Naruto Pakkun," he interrupted him. He knew he'd get scolded by leaving the hospital, but he couldn't be bothered to care at all right now. The pug nodded, scenting the air for a brief moment before jumping out the window, Kakashi hot on his heels. He dismissed Pakkun with a reassuring nod when he realized where they were heading, slowing down to a walk when he saw the blonde on the grassy slope. The man had to have sensed him by now, but he didn't react as he approached.

"Ah I was wondering where that went," he said casually, sitting down behind Naruto and leaning his back against his. He picked the book up off the grass, thumbing through the pages like he had done a hundred times before, pausing at the daffodils carefully pressed in behind the others. He wondered if that's what he coughed up at the waterfall, but Naruto must have noticed and added them with the rest. They were fitting really: regard, chivalry, a new life.

"You did give it to me y'know," Naruto said, adjusting slightly until he was comfortable.

"I did," he agreed, tapping the worn leather cover to his lips.

"I didn't know you had a copy. I hadn't heard of it until I went to train with the toads," he sighed, and Kakashi felt his head tip back against his shoulder, blonde hair tickling at his neck.

"I meant to give this to you long before the toads, before any of this. Minato-sensei gave it to me to borrow eighteen years ago," he explained.

"Oh," Naruto breathed.

"I almost did give it to you once," he thought, remembering back to when he himself was eighteen and still so angry. "You were four."

The book seemed to glow where it lay on his shelf and he hated looking at it during the brief moments he was at home. One night, after waking up from yet another nightmare of his failures, he wanted it gone. He contemplated throwing it out, but he knew how important it had been to Minato. His sensei had lent it to him on the same day that he had told him that he was going to be a father, the same day that he had assigned him to watch over Kushina. He would want Naruto to have it. So, he ripped it off his shelf and ran to the boy's apartment. The boy wouldn't know who he was, he was wearing his ANBU mask and a cloak to protect against the cold of December, but the tiny child threw open the window for him like he was a friend come to play. He felt another burst of hot anger at how trusting Minato-sensei's son was, didn't he know of the dangers in the world?

Didn't he know that the very person outside his window was dangerous?

"Naruto." He was named after the hero of the book because Minato had wanted him to be brave and never give up. He had wanted him to be able to finally achieve the peace that he himself would never accomplish. Naruto smiled toothily at him showing off the few gaps in his baby teeth.

"Hi!" He chirped, his voice high and squeaky and Kakashi couldn't breathe because why was this child smiling at him? He reached for the book, the blonde's eyes tracking the movement carefully and with a surprising amount of suspicion, but he found he couldn't bring himself to part with it yet. He wasn't even sure if Naruto could read yet anyway, it would be wasted on the child who'd rather throw paint then crack open a book. He supposed he could keep it safe for now and find a way for him to get it when he was older.

"Naruto, be a good boy okay?" He said softly, carefully reaching out to ruffle the fluffy blonde hair.

"Are, are you a ghost?" The boy whispered, pressing his face incredibly close to his and his eyes not leaving the holes of Kakashi's mask and he quickly closed Obito's eye, worried that he might have scared him.

"No," he shook his head. "Do you want me to be?" Naruto frowned in that familiar scrunched up way of his as he thought that over.

"No!" He grinned, leaning forward on the sill and Kakashi caught him from tumbling out onto the ledge. Quickly letting him go once he was safe out of fear of hurting him. "Cuz the old man said only dead people are ghosts and, and if you were a ghost then you'd be dead I guess and that's bad."

"Okay," Kakashi nodded solemnly, matching the tone the child had taken. "Go to sleep," he ordered, pulling away from the window as the boy pouted. He watched as Naruto hauled the window shut and crawled in his bed. Watched as the tiny chest rose and fell evenly with his sleep. Minato and Kushina had died for this… died for him.

"And then you started using it for this creepy weird art project of yours," Naruto said softly.

"Yep," he sighed, letting his eyes slip closed as he leaned back against him. "Proof that the Coldblooded Killer Hatake Kakashi has a heart." And, even with all its scars and imperfections, that it belonged to Uzumaki Naruto. He had pretended to be dead, pretended to be a ghost for so long because it was easier than acknowledging the pain and letting people in. But, even as a child not fully knowing what he was saying, Naruto had seemed to tell him from the beginning that he was supposed to live, and he had never stopped telling him.

"That never really was in question for me Kakashi."

"I know." He blinked up into Naruto's face as he suddenly found himself on his back in the grass, strong hands pinning his shoulders down. Watching as Naruto's eyes widened when he realized that his face had been uncovered the whole time. You wanted me to be casual, he almost said but held off at the serious expression on the man's face.

"At the hospital you said you were scared," Naruto recovered quickly. "Were you afraid of me?"

"Yes," he admitted honestly, wrapping his fingers around his wrists when he flinched. "Only because I hadn't prepared for you," he brought his hand up, gently dragging his fingers over the marks on his cheek and staring straight into his eyes. "It made you dangerous to me, because I could see myself doing anything for you and even though we've faced monsters together I was afraid because of how much I actually wanted this." Naruto's eyes seem to shimmer and some of that uncertainty and insecurity returned as he looked away but Kakashi gently brought his face back to his. "I figured dying from the flowers wouldn't be so bad because it was for you, but it was wrong to keep you in the dark. I won't run anymore and not because someone threatened to hunt me down if I did," he smiled and he noticed how his eyes flicked to his lips. "I'm serious Naruto, I lo-mmph." Naruto's hands are slapping over his mouth, covering up the skin that's usually under his mask.

"Just shut up for a second," Naruto demanded, scrutinizing him as he leaned in close. "You're not dying anymore, right?" He nodded his head against Naruto's hands. "And that's because, even though you're a self-sacrificing bastard, who always lectured me on teamwork even while going off to die alone. I," Kakashi cringed as Naruto swallowed heavily but his eyes still shown their usual stubborn determination. "I love you." He nodded again, feeling a thrill at how he had said it with such certainty. "And you know me Sensei, if I said it then I mean it," Naruto finished softly, letting his hands drop to either side of Kakashi's head.

"I do," he said, hearing his heartbeat in his ears and feeling breathless for all the right reasons for once. The blonde huffed and flopped onto his back next to him.

"But I'm still pissed as hell at you!" He yelled, flinging his arms up in the air before letting them fall back down, fingers tangling with his.

"I know," he repeated again, trying not to smile too broadly. "You can kick my ass on the training grounds later if you want."

"It doesn't count if you let me. Ugh, I bet Pervy Sage is laughing his ass off right now," he grumbled and Kakashi chuckled, he imagined the Sannin would have some choice words for him, he tried not to think of how Minato or Kushina would react. "This is nothing like his stupid books, his love confessions make it seem easy! They only involve a shit ton of kissing and other things," Naruto trailed off and Kakashi felt his smile grow, he brought their joined fingers up to his mouth to kiss the back of Naruto's hand. He rolled over so he's looking down into Naruto's grumpy face, letting himself finally smooth that annoying wrinkle between his eyes with his finger.

"We can get to that eventually," he teased gently, watching Naruto's face flush and he leaned down slowly, giving him time to push him away or reject the kiss but he doesn't. He hummed as Naruto's fingers ran through his hair, scratching at his scalp and bringing him closer.

"Y'know you're just as stubborn as me, and a smart ass!" Naruto said sternly and Kakashi hid his amusement in the warm neck, breathing in the citrus and grass and the memories of summer days by the river, being reminded that there were now more of those days to come. Naruto felt like home. "And even though you pretend to be lazy and you read really shitty books," Naruto continued, and he snorted. "I find myself always looking for you first, you've always been there to believe in me, and you caught me when I needed it," he hesitated, lurching up to a seated position and picking at the wispy seed heads of a stray dandelion. "It's just easy when you're around and you seem to understand me when no one else does. Which might be why I get why you didn't say anything. Because I think maybe I might've done the same," he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and causing the seeds to disperse on the wind. "We've both spent a lot of time on our own huh?"

"Yeah," he agreed. They had both lived relatively similar childhoods, both of them had been alone, both of them had had unwanted attention thrust upon them. For Kakashi it was because he was the son of Sakumo and a genius, he hated the excited whispers, or the way people praised him for just being and for Naruto it was because he was the Jinchūriki and the attention had rarely been the kindness he deserved.

"We're both kinda messed up too." A blue eye peeked over his shoulder and he could see the hint of a genuine smile playing at his lips.

"Just a bit," he agreed again.

"I mean, you fell in love with me and puked up flowers for two years," he pulled a face and Kakashi pushed himself up, wrapping his arms around him and hooking his chin on his shoulder.

"What does that say about you then?" Kakashi asked and Naruto softened in his arms, head tipping back to look at him and a bandaged finger traced the line of his nose. It was surprisingly easy for Kakashi to fall into tactile comfort with him and Naruto accepted it so willingly.

"Your face is seriously distracting Kakashi-sensei," he sighed, and he wanted to argue against being called sensei after all of this. "But yeah, I must be crazy." Kakashi held him a little tighter to his chest, feeling his heartbeat against his own.

"Maybe we should leave the part about the flowers out," he suggested.

"Hmm, nope," Naruto popped the p. "But we can figure it out together now right?"

"Yes," he breathed, wanting nothing more than that.

"Maybe we should promise not to die for each other." He arched an eyebrow down at him, knowing full well that wasn't a promise either of them would keep. "Okay, yeah you're right," Naruto conceded, scrunching his face up in concentration. "How about we promise to lean on each other then?" His face brightened and Kakashi thought of the instances that they had already said that to each other. But this time was far more important.

"Always Naruto, I'm-"

"You don't have to keep apologizing, Kakashi," Naruto sighed tiredly, "I just want you to stop suffering on your own y'know?" He smiled gently and Kakashi nodded. Anything, he'd do anything he'd want.

They leaned back into the warmth of each other. It wouldn't be easy; they both had their flaws and imperfections, and he imagined a fair number of fights in their future. He imagined losing most of them. But he knew they were both too stubborn to ever give up on each other. He was reminded of pottery he had seen once in some obscure village. Something of little worth smashed to pieces, but instead of sweeping up the porcelain and throwing it in the trash someone decided to mend the broken sections with gold and created something beautiful, something invaluable, in its imperfections. They both had a history filled with being shattered and left trying to reassemble the pieces on their own. It had left gaps and scars on their bodies and souls. But then Naruto had come along and in his loud and obnoxious and unbelievable way had turned his scars to gold. He could only hope to return the favor and strengthen him in return. To stand by him and help him shine.

"Hey, you kinda owe me a house now," Naruto mumbled against his lips.

"Go get Yamato and I'll get you a house," he grinned, his face was starting to hurt from smiling.

"You said I couldn't ask him to use his jutsu!" He pouted petulantly.

"Exactly, you can't, but I didn't say I couldn't," Kakashi smirked, and Naruto grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like smart ass. "We should go see Lady Tsunade," he sighed, already dreading that conversation. He wasn't ready to leave the privacy of this moment yet, but they'd have to face it soon, especially since his disappearance from the hospital had to be noticed by now.

"We?" A blonde eyebrow arched at him, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Well, I figure I might need protection," he explained, and Naruto blanched. "Exactly."

"Great," Naruto groaned, sprawling out onto the grass and Kakashi restrained himself from laying on top of him and covering him with his scent. "You're already dragging me down with you!"

"You did say I should stop suffering alone," he smirked down at him.

"That's not," he covered his face with his hands as he laughed. "That's not what I meant, and you know it!" He sent a glare through his fingers but there was no heat behind it. "Fine, let's get this over with!" He jumped to his feet, dusting the grass off the book and Kakashi suddenly remembered the flower from earlier.

"Wait a second," he gestured for the book, "I'll give it back," he added when Naruto looked at him with a dubious expression as if he thought Kakashi would do something bad to it. He pulled the white flower out of his pocket and opened the book to the last page.

"When?" Naruto asked, a concerned frown etching deep lines into his face.

"This morning," he said casually, closing the book and placing it into Naruto's outstretched hand, letting his fingers rest over his. "It's the last one. Dogwood," he told him softly. "It means-"

"I know what it means," Naruto cut him off, "I, uh, I might have picked up a book on hanakotoba after we talked about the butterfly weed," he looked away, scratching at his face. "I was gonna surprise you or something, I dunno, but," he waved the book.

"You can still surprise me if you want," he stood, still holding Naruto's hands. Naruto always surprised him anyway.

"I think we both need a break from flowers for a while," he sighed and then smirked, leaning up as if for a kiss but instead his hands were moving to pull up Kakashi's mask, settling it back over the bridge of his nose. Naruto yelped as he hugged him roughly, pushing his hand through the hair on the back of his head and keeping him close.

"I really do love you," he said into Naruto's hair.

"I know." He felt the book smack gently against his shoulder but then his arms were wrapping around his waist. "I love you too."

He was right in bringing Naruto to Tsunade's for protection. The woman raged and threatened severe bodily harm to the both of them for causing her so much stress over the years. But then she sagged, hugging them both to her chest before cuffing them on the head and demanding that Kakashi take over as soon as possible while breaking out the liquor. He did become Hokage quickly after that, with a bit more fanfare than he had wanted but Naruto was kneeling among the ranks with the biggest smile he had ever seen plastered to his face. Their relationship had quickly become one of the worst kept secrets in Konoha but only those close to them actually knew about the flowers.

They called Tazuna and Inari and built a house on the land and he stopped referring to it as his father's because it became theirs as he watched Naruto build a garden. It wasn't easy and they did fight, it was hard to rewire what years of isolation had forged in their systems, but they tried and Kakashi was right in that he did end up losing most of them. But Naruto was always there when he woke up the middle of the night, feeling the urge to wash his hands of blood that was long gone, and he was there to wrap himself around Naruto when he would unconsciously summon Kurama's chakra as he dreamed of the war.

Other than practically living together they did take things slow, that is until just a few short months after he had taken the hat he had to send Naruto to the fucking moon while he waited and watched and wondered if he'd have to give the order to kill him. He couldn't help but think if the flowers would come back and finish him off then if Naruto died. He knew that this was just a part of the job, they were shinobi and there was never a guarantee of either of them returning home. But Naruto was Naruto, and he never broke a promise.

"Were you worried Kakashi?" Naruto asked, looking tired and dirty but there was a fire in his eyes and Kakashi felt like he had no other choice but to grab him and kiss him senseless because this brat might very well be the death of him. Still here, still alive, he thought as they crashed into their house and into their bed, leaving a trail of clothing in their wake and Kakashi set about memorizing the dips and curves of soft skin and hard muscle with his mouth and fingers.

"Naruto," Kakashi breathed, skating his lips across the arching neck. The name rolling off his tongue like prayer as Naruto cried out, one hand digging into Kakashi's shoulder while the other braced against the headboard, simultaneously trying to hang on and push back against him as they moved together. He couldn't help the smile as he held him close and they both shook apart at the seams, the fire in those blue eyes never going out.

"Hey," Naruto said later, draped over him like a human blanket. "I really do love you y'know," he gently traced the x-shaped scar on his chest.

"I know," he replied, dragging his hands down the strong back while Naruto snorted, biting his shoulder in retaliation. "Hey," he laughed, brushing his thumb across his cheek. "I really do love you." The returning smile is soft and private and Kakashi feels himself impossibly fall more in love.

"I know."

AN: Phew, it's over! That was one wild and exhausting ride! But even though this story took a complete left turn from what I had planned (and then a few others that partly ended up in the trash) I thoroughly enjoyed it and I hope you did too.

Thank you for reading!

The flower I did not define:
Dogwood - Our love will overcome adversity