Eric's not wearing a shirt. I do not recall taking it off.
His bare chest greets me under the slightest rays of morning light. This wasn't what I quite expected to wake up to, but I won't complain about the position we're in. His clothed legs are tangled with mine. Arms encompassing my torso just as he did with the pillow he hugged to sleep last night.
I had gone to sleep an armlength away with my back towards him, feeling unmerited of his embrace. Baking cookies and spoon-feeding them does not erase the pain I've selfishly inflicted.
I crane my head over my shoulder, checking the clock. It's almost time for the dogs to wake and pester me for their morning toilet trip.
The moment my feet touch the floor, I flinch. The freezing temperature of the glazed surface brings me back to when I entered Eric's apartment. It bewilders me on how an intoxicated man managed to successfully adjust the temperature of the room in the middle of the night. He had even taken the pills I placed on the bedside table - judging by the empty glass of water. And now that I'm noticing, there wasn't any scent of alcohol on him when I woke.
With my feet on their way to numbness, I suddenly regret untangling myself and replacing me with a pillow. My hands fiddle with the edges of the cover, toying with the idea of sleeping in. His form is peaceful, rising and falling slowly as he breathes. I could crawl back in and snuggle up. The last time I did anything relatively close to this was when I was in Amity. Even then, this is a hundred times better.
I'll deal with making-up later. Now I'd like to enjoy the moment, where whatever that's going on doesn't matter.
My dogs could use the washroom independently, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
But just as I'm about to open my room door, my phone buzzes. It's a reminder that we'll be heading to Erudite today.
I rub my face wearily and clench the phone.
Right. I have work.
"Anna." My head perks at the sound of my name. Sabre glances up when I paused my one-way conversation with him. Max is walking towards me, in one arm is a stack of files. "Heard you were called in sick. Better?" His tone is anything but care.
The warm fuzziness from waking in Eric's arms is quickly dissipating. "Yeah. Was just having a fever, must've been the cold during War Games," I laugh half-heartedly. Although chatting with Max isn't the worst exchange, I'm acutely aware that he only initiates it when he wants something. I point to the files he's carrying. "Would you like those to be delivered?" I ask politely.
"Yes, actually. I was just about to ask." I force a smile. "On a side note, could you send the dog to the office whenever you're ill in the future?" he asks almost irritatedly. My smile drops. Instinctively, my hand moves to rub my mouth to overlay the loss of façade. "Doesn't have to be you, Eric could do it too. I've seen him walking the dogs to lunch." Holding ropes are very different from giving commands on where to go.
The question is nothing except a poor attempt of a sugar-coated order. As expected, I say, "Sure. Eric wouldn't mind."
"Good." I was hoping he'd leave it there, but he didn't. "I wasted quite a bit of time walking around Dauntless. Was late for a meeting at Erudite as a result." Immediately, I want to counter that he managed fine before Sabre came along. The glow of red anger blooms, and it didn't help that I had to leave the comforts of my room at the break of dawn. Today, all of the days.
Max waits for my reply expectantly. Whether he's waiting for me to gasp in horror or to grovel in shame, I don't care. It takes me a moment to force out an apology. All I want to do is to land a solid punch to his face. "I'm sorry. I'll talk to Eric and explain."
Max is unusually hostile today. Odd, considering that the grown man had an entire day to mull over this confrontation. "Hopefully soon," he adds disdainfully. "Speaking of which, where is Eric? I didn't see him come in earlier."
My muscles tense. I could supply with the answer of he's out on an errand, but judging Max's no-nonsense mood, I know he would drill me for the details. And seeing that he's the head of the faction, he'll be able to quickly suss out the lie. If I were to say I don't know, one call to the control room would dig me a grave. He wouldn't be pleased to find out that one of the leaders drank on a weekday. Perhaps I'm reading too much into the situation. That said, I still can't help but be overly cautious around him.
"Eric's ill. Food poisoning, maybe. He should be back in a couple of hours," I supply tersely. Eric is a hard worker. He should have the freedom to come for work whenever he wants.
The leader lifts his nose to the air and mulls over my explanation. His newfound suspicion confuses and irritates me. "If I didn't know any better, it seems like the both of you are taking turns sleeping in and covering for each other." Mentally, I'm scowling. Both of us are full-fledged adults, not kids in high school. As long as things run as smoothly as they do, it doesn't matter whether we want to catch up on the well-deserved rest or not. Plus, were we to sleep in, we would do it together. "But I'll give you the benefit of doubt this time, since Eric was visibly distressed by your… absence… yesterday."
I don't comment.
"Here." He extends the stack of files towards me. "See to it that it's delivered before lunch."
Eric appears just before one. Gunner barely reacted when the door opened, cracking one eye open before resuming his sleep.
"Hi Anna."
"Hi Eric."
His movements are fatigued and his eyes are hooded. He places three glass containers of food on my desk and slumps onto the seat opposite mine. "Thanks for breakfast, and I read your note," he mumbles groggily, a hand flying to soothe his temple.
My brows furrow at the sight of the containers. "Did you make lunch?" It appears to be a sandwich - something simple, thankfully. I would've freaked if I were to find out he fell face-first onto a wok.
He shrugs and grunts. "Cheesesteak. Nothing complicated. It was easier than working, doesn't hurt my head as much. I made some for the dogs too, just some raw beef slices on toasted bread." I'm not sure if I should laugh, swoon, or snap at him for preparing this when he can very obviously barely function. This man is insane.
"You didn't have to," I say. "But thanks."
He waves it off with his free hand. "It's an apology gift. I don't usually drink this much, probably why I must've mistaken your apartment for mine. Did I do or say anything stupid yesterday?" His eyes are closed. His mannerisms almost like last night's.
I hesitate. "No."
He doesn't lift his head to check my integrity. "Liar. What did I do?" he groans. "Did I push you for sex?" I choke on my saliva. "Sorry I sound like this right now. My head pounds and I ran in with Jessica on the way here. She fucking annoying."
"No. You were alright." Just babyish here and there; still manageable, nonetheless. "It's not a big deal, I'm glad you came over to mine instead of going to your own alone."
"That's good," he says more to himself. "I know I ate something. My sweet tooth heightens whenever I drink. Maybe that's why I wasn't a horny dick."
I'm trying my best to sound normal. Eric won't appreciate if I were to burst into a giddy fit from how adorable he's been acting. "I baked you cookies. You wanted to try some last night."
At the sound of cookies, his head shoots up animatedly. Life returns to his face for a second before turns sour at the bright lights. "Where is it?" he asks in suppressed excitement.
"I left it on your desk."
He's out the door.
The lights in the office are now off. The only source of illumination comes from the binds of the windows and the computer's screen. Eric's head is no longer cradled by his hand - busy with something else.
The containers of food are now empty, consumed in a comfortable silence. I'm not sure what Eric was thinking about during his meal, but I was thoroughly embarrassed after taking the first bite. Despite his pounding head and sluggish movements, he's outdone every lunch I've cooked for us before. And I've been cooking for a decade.
"Do you cook often?" I blurt out suddenly, unable to fathom how this man – renowned for his strength and cold exterior – is a better cook than me.
A cookie pauses midway to his mouth. I've lost count on how many he'd gobbled. He has a child-like expression; eyes wide and attention completely focused on when he can snag the next cookie from the jar. "I took turns. Back in Erudite, food sucked," is his light reply. "Are there more?" He's pointing at the half-empty jar of goodness.
I laugh. "Just one."
He perks up, cookie still between his fingers. "Where's that?"
"It's on the counter. I'm passing it to you later so it can be kept in your apartment."
His brows knit together and he leans forward. "What about you? Do you have any?"
Last I recall, Eric was hilariously adamant on wanting all the cookies. I copy his actions from earlier and wave a hand flippantly. "It's an apology gift."
He scowls and rises from his seat, extending the cookie to me. "Eat it."
My head shakes. "No, it's for you."
His scowl deepens. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought that he had been stuck in Amity because his truck broke down. Eric crosses the desk, stepping past the napping dogs. The cookie is jabbed centimeters away from my mouth. I lift an eyebrow in amusement. "Eat it or I don't take the cookie jar," he threatens.
"Are you sure? There are at least twelve cookies in there," I supplement slowly.
The hand goes limp for a second. He squints at me suspiciously. "You're not planning to... not not not eat the cookie, right?"
The 'not's dance around my head, unable to link and form a coherent statement. I rub my chin as if I'm considering his words. "Yes." There are only two answers. It's a fifty-fifty chance.
I picked the wrong one. "Good." His shoulders slump in relief and a smile spreads across his face. "Now, open up."
"I'm sorry."
Eric turns to me, confused. "On what?"
My hand strokes Sabre's fur idly, his presence giving me strength to continue. "For my actions after that night. It wasn't my intention to shut you out." He grows silent, eyes focused on the ground. "I was just," I gulp, unsure of how to phrase my emotions, "reminded of something."
"A past experience?" he asks airily, unseeingly.
"What? No." Warmth blooms from my chest and I look to my bored dog instead, flustered. "There wasn't anyone before."
As predicted, Eric attention snaps to me. "I'm your first?" he rushes in shock.
My hand flies to my neck. The feeling of awkwardness and embarrassment reappearing. "Yes."
Eric grins, completely distracted by the newfound information. "So I'm your first, first?" he clarifies loudly.
It's a good thing that we're alone on the train. For it were anywhere else, I would've melted from all the heated stares while Eric grins in my misery. "Yes. You're my first-mfph" He's kissing me. Arms snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I cup his face and nudge him away. "Are you insane! I don't have experience!"
He isn't the least bit bothered, pecking me on the lips once more. "We'll practice."
"You should keep your hair down more often," Eric suggests. "You look prettier with them draped over one shoulder."
My mouth twists to a childish scowl. "Except that it's hot." Well, not exactly; summer just passed. "And that's all thanks to you." Sabre is less than helpful in my situation of keeping cool. He's throwing his weight around as he sniffs out Erudite's courtyard. It's the first day at Dauntless all over again. I can't be more pleased by his puerile behavior. As long as he keeps it up, Jeanine's interest on my dogs will evaporate with disgust. Just like the glares the Erudite are throwing him now.
"What did I do?" his voice rises an octave, bewildered.
"You left a mark on the base of my neck," I grumble, careful not to let others hear. The last thing I need is him getting all cuddly before meeting Jeanine. Big bad Eric is more useful in Erudite.
A devilish grin appears and he stops me. "It's still there?" I swat his hand as he attempts to shift my hair.
"Yes," I hiss. "People are watching, don't be weird."
Eric scrunches his nose and retracts his hand obediently. "Fine. I'll wait."
"Good. You can see later, no touch." We continue walking. I take pride in my smooth stride. It requires a great deal of skill and strength to walk straight when your arm is being half-yanked around by a 65-pound animal.
"You could've just worn a turtleneck," Eric comments. We're almost at the entrance of the building.
"I don't own any," I reply simply. It completely slipped my mind to pick out something yesterday. Until then, I'll just have to make do with what I have.
Eric huffs when a distracted Erudite bumps into his side. The young teen flinches when his head lifts to meet the leaders, mumbling an apology before scurrying away. "Good," he says to me, dusting off the area where the boy made contact. "Don't get any."
Sabre dropped his playful front the moment we stepped into the elevator. His ears twitch as he glances around the metal box, alert and apprehensive. Eric juts his chin at the dog pressed to my side. "What's up with him?" Sabre starts panting heavily.
"Don't know." Sabre has never shown hostility towards anyone so far. I doubt he already has bad vibes against Jeanine. If he did, he has an incredible sixth sense. "Maybe he recognizes someone." Perhaps Jeanine had visited Amity or Dauntless when I wasn't around.
The glass doors slide open to an unpretentious foyer leading to a narrow glass bridge. The female receptionist pulls her focus from the computer, recognizing us quickly. "Right ahead. She's expecting your arrival." Eric mumbles a thanks.
Based on the entourage crowding her office, I wouldn't have guessed otherwise. There is a wall of faces watching us travel down the bridge. They scrutinize the dog beside me, undoubtedly excited to see a 'product' of their work. Sabre is still pressed against my leg, keen eyes vigilant. Every few paces he'll lift his head to me, checking my expression. His uneasiness is starting to rub off me.
"Keep calm. I'll cover if anything happens," Eric mutters under his breath, just loud enough for me to catch. He's a few paces behind, banishing any suspicions that may arise between us. It's a drastic change from how we are at Dauntless. Anyone walking past there would immediately know we were together.
"Anna! Glad you could make it." Jeanine has a bordering-false smile. Her lips are slightly puckered, giving me the impression that we're late. It's not my fault that the train tracks are a stretch from here.
"Good afternoon," I greet back politely, stepping to the side for Eric to enter.
There are six other people in the small office; Jeanine's two female lackeys, three men in lab coats, and Cole. Cole sticks out like a sore thumb among the rest, his bulky figure and black clothing a notable contrast from the scraggy adult nerds. I've rarely seen him around these days, but I can't say the same for Sabre. My boy and him seem to have a history, judging by how Sabre hasn't looked at anyone else except him. His tail is up and his ears are directed to him, the same stance he takes whenever he suspects John or Four are about to attack.
A man past his prime walks up to me, a hand extended. "Hi, I'm Charles." I tense my facial muscles to not outright frown in his face. "I was the lead on the project," he adds. Ah.
I clasp his hand before it becomes awkward. "Nice to meet you. This is Sabre." My hand smooth out the hackles on his wither. The hound removes his gaze from the leader-in-training, shooting me a reassuring grin. "He's not the best with crowds, more of a family dog."
Charles ignores my comment, dropping to a squat. "May I?" His hand hovers above my dog. I nod because I have to. The other two scientists crowd around us. Propped in their hands are a clipboard and pen. It's not been two minutes and they are already examining my dog like an object. Sabre doesn't bat an eye to any of them, completely focused on one person only. He shifts closer when I adjust my stance, keeping his side pressed up against my leg.
"Anna, could you tell us the full extent of what your dog's abilities?" Jeanine asks. She too has taken a fervent interest in my pup, her gaze trained on the animal as she speaks. "Max has told us snippets, but I'd like to hear it from you."
My spine straightens. "Sure." Sabre is not going to relax anytime soon, despite his features saying otherwise. To anyone inexperienced, Sabre just looks jumpy and out of breath. They don't understand him like I do. My own apprehension of meeting Jeanine and the scientists isn't helping the situation either. "Sabre mostly delivers documents around the faction. Currently, he's working on scent work. I'm training him to find unfamiliar people based on smell alone." I don't elaborate, careful with my words.
"That's incredible," one of the lab coats remarks. "How does it happen? Do you just tell him the name or place?"
"Something like that."
"What is his success rate?" Charles asks, rising back to his full height. "Has he ever delivered to the wrong places?"
"In the beginning. There are several locations he needed to know, so he did get confused when he first started," I reply warily.
"How long did it take to train him?" Jeanine asks. She's leaning on the desk, hands resting in front of her.
"About a few weeks for him to get a hang of it. It was a lot of repetition." Cole is gone; the exact moment, I'm not sure. Not that his presence matters. I only realized after I notice Sabre wasn't tense anymore. His body weight lightened against my calf.
Charles turns to me with a hopeful expression, and I just know what he's about to say next. "Anna, may I ask if we could bring the animal to the lab? I'd like to have a better look at his physique and perhaps his heritage?"
Eric answers before I can formulate a response. "You may not. Sabre," he stresses the name in disgusted irritation, "is an asset and property of Dauntless. He is not subject to any testing or experiments you've prepared for him," he is calm, but anyone in the right mind would know there's no room for argument.
The scientist's face falls. "While that may be true," Jeanine speaks up from her desk placidly, "the development of this animal was due – and only due to – Erudite's technological advancement. Therefore, if we were to speak in terms of 'property'," Jeanine air-quotes in calm, professional mockery, "then this dog is originally ours."
Scorn.
Not from me, but Eric. He remains silent, keeping his gaze on Jeanine, steady and emotionless. His fists are not clenched, neither is there a vein on his head popping. Yet, I can feel it. The contempt building, threatening to overflow and consume everything in its wake.
And then it's gone. No twitch, no relaxation of muscles, no indication. Yet to me, his resolve is loud and clear. "Very well," he says. Same tone, same volume, same lack of emotion. "I'll oversee that nothing comes to harm him."
"What happened to your arm?" My movements pause. Jeanine is waving her finger down my arm. Small blue-purple and yellow patches decorate the entire length, a result of training my animals. There aren't enough to raise brows; a few small spots here and there. Though the improved material of the bite sleeve and suit do absorb most of the impact, some still seeps through - my dogs have long fangs. Four has it far worse, but he oddly enjoys it.
He's always been a bit weird.
It slipped my mind that the bruises aren't a normal sight to people outside the faction. Eric never batted an eye at the sight of them, neither did anyone else in Dauntless. I remove the rest of my jacket - too late to cover them now. "Physical training," I answer sparsely, "I tend to be grabbed whenever I deflect punches." The spots could pass off as finger-inflicted, I suppose.
"With Eric?" Jeanine asks in surprise. Her brows have flown to her hairline. Beside her, the lackey who hates me is trying to hide her smug smile.
I shrug. "Yeah." Whatever floats their boat. "He's quite the fighter," I laugh dryly. "Barely land anything on him."
"I can tell," Jeanine smiles wryly. On the contrary, I'd like to believe I could land a few solid hits on him, not that I ever intend to.
Jeanine clears her throat, hinting the chit-chat is over.
It's time to get down to business.
"I held you back as I would like to discuss something. Alone, preferably." With a nod, her lackeys exit the glass office. No doubt to squeal about how Eric mistreats me. Amusing.
Jeanine rises from her leather chair, moving to stand by the glass wall. "I've thought about what you said the other day, about the government." I force myself to relax despite not being in her line of sight. The key is to be calm and collected, especially in the wolf's den. "You see, we have similar views on them. As the leader of Erudite, I've always felt that the current government is suppressing the city's prosperity. Seventy-two percent of our projects and proposals have been rejected by the council. Many – if not all – of these having months of work placed into them already." Sabre's vest is lying on the chair beside me. I had taken it off earlier, using the excuse that the vest may be an obstruction later. No one batted an eye.
Jeanine strolls down the length of the office, her nose held high and her stance proud. "Hence, I would like to change the current system. For at this rate, things will only become worse." She turns to me, holding my gaze. "And I've seen the way you work. You're a soldier, a determined one too." Not in the way she hopes, though.
Taking a gulp of water, she returns to her office stroll. "In many ways, you remind me of Eric, just far less ill-tempered." My ears perk at the mention of his name.
Now, if she would be so kind as to mention his reasons for joining, I'll be well on my way.
"He's been a bit tense and busy lately, but I assume it's because of having to train you." I'm confused if I should feel hurt by her inaccurate honesty. Eric has been happier since he met me. He admitted it himself.
"Temper aside, he is a loyal soldier. You see, Eric was supposed to stay in Erudite. He and his sister were supposed to work alongside me. There was a fire to them, even from a young age, and it made it easy for me to pull them under my care." Her tone grows woeful. "They grew up without parents, only had each other."
Jeanine clears her throat, the moment of weakness gone so fast I question its integrity. "But that's not what I came to discuss." Returning to her seat, she clasps her hands on her lap. "I want to know: How far will you go for the future of others?" I remain silent, unsure of an appropriate response.
She jumps ahead anyway. "I'd like to tell you a story. You're walking down the train tracks on a normal day out. You hear the train coming, and in the carriage, four different voices screaming for help. The brakes have gone out, the doors are locked, and it's gathering speed." She speaks slowly and precisely, each word clear as glass. I keep my expression unreadable, apprehensive of the point in all this.
"The end of the tracks is near, and you know that what's meeting them at the end is a concrete wall. A large man stands beside you, completely unaware of the situation." She unhurriedly lifts her index and middle finger. "Two choices. Push the man onto the tracks. His size will slow the train to a stop; he'll die, of course. Or do nothing, and allow the four other people to die." As a Dauntless, the answer is to take the man's place, or shove the man. Our role is to protect the city and its civilians, even if it costs our lives.
"I know this may sound like a hard decision." Her tone is anything but sympathetic. The stare on me is expectant. "However, if you were to save the four, you'll be celebrated as a hero. Is not the loss of one life better than the loss of four? Perhaps your image may be tainted, but it won't last. The good will outweigh the bad." She tilts her head and rolls her shoulders back in satisfaction, like she knows my answer already. "Now, what will you do?"
Is this what she said to Eric too? "I would push the man."
Jeanine is dangerous. Not because she's smart, but because she fully believes in her cause. She believes that creating an army is right, that slaughtering an entire faction is right. And she believes she'll be celebrated for it.
There's nothing worse than a villain who believes they're the hero in their own mind.
A/N
Next chapter up next week.
Thanks for reading! :)