Was there any such thing as home? If so, how did I define it?

I couldn't help but question myself as I looked at my friends and family, standing in front of me like terracotta soldiers. They were enveloped in darkness, almost like they were being consumed by the very air itself. I felt a tug in my chest, and something told me to go forward. To join them no matter the cost.

I didn't move forward. What point was there? If I turned around, I would never see them again. Somehow, that seemed preferable. However, the people behind me, I was going to see them again.

Despite my feelings, I raised a hand, my right hand, out to the people in front of me. My mom and dad. My sister. My friends. The hand that reached out to them was of flesh and blood. Still usable. I knew it wasn't true. My injuries would follow me everywhere.

In the end, seeing that was the final straw. I lowered my hand, my face set into a grim expression before I turned around.

They were covered in light. My new friends. My new family. They were inviting, friendly, homely. Home. Once I saw them, walking forwards was easy. No tug on my chest, no nagging inclination to move forward. Instead, it was like an embrace; warm and comfortable. I could keep going forever.

I raised my right hand again. It was made of metal and bolts.

In a single instant, they were gone.

All around me, a battle raged. Bathed in crimson light, bodies lined the ground in piles. Butchered and bleeding. Broken and twisted. The red rain flowed through the sky and trampled the grass.

Someone moved, cutting through moving corpses like a lawnmower through grass. Red liquid splashed against the ground with each slash. He stabbed a soldier through the chest and tore it out their side, nearly bisecting the poor bastard.

The person, no, the thing turned to me. Even through the ungodly red, I could recognize the face.

It was my own.

It charged at me, cutting through several soldiers on its way before it swung its sword, aiming for my neck.

It never hit. Before the monster could finish me in a single motion, a roar shook the very earth itself. The armored monster stopped and gawked with me as a great being, a God, tore its way through the ground. The earth split and cracked, until the great draconic face pushed its way through.

In the face of such terrible power, what was I? I was an ant. A dust mite. Not something worth considering. How dare I believe I had such hold over the world when things like the being in front of me existed? The terrifying pressure made me shiver as its body shoved its way through the stained ground. Another roar, deafening to my ears. The very bones of the land seemed to quake at the tremendous power shown by that action alone.

Its six red eyes focused on me, ignoring the invisible being next to me.

NO WAY TO RUN. HAVE TO FIGHT BACK. FIGHT BACK. FIGHT.

MY TURN.

"Hey, Alex." I felt somebody gently shaking me awake. I opened my eyes wide and shot up, nearly headbutting the person next to me. They took a step back, concern etched into their features. It took me a second to realize it was Cordelia. "You were shaking. Were you having a nightmare?"

In my confusion, I nearly slammed the stump where my right hand was into my face. I winced as the image of me actually doing that with the iron hand still on crossed my mind. Thankfully, I caught myself and rubbed the side of my nose with my left hand. One day, it was going to happen, and I was going to be in a world of pain. Not that day, though.

"I," I swallowed, turning to her. "I guess you could say that. Nothing new." I shook my head. "A-anyway, did we finally make it to Warreth?"

Cordelia looked like she'd press for an actual answer from me, but after a moment she sighed. "Yes. We arrived just a small while ago. Robin wants us both on deck, ready to leave. He appears to be in a big rush."

I got up, thanking the Lord that I decided to go to sleep fully clothed. I grabbed the metal hand at my side. "Well, if I were him, I'd want to go back to Ylisstol too, after chasing me for God knows how many miles. Surprised you aren't complaining yourself."

"It's not that." Cordelia shook her head. "I believe Prince Chrom had something in mind for him, although he would not reveal much more to me."

Seeing her slight frown at saying Chrom's name made me feel- well, angry wasn't the right word, but it was pretty close.

"Anyway!" Cordelia said a little too enthusiastically. "I believe we should go. Do you have everything?"

Looking at her blankly from the mood whiplash for a second, I nodded. I began strapping my hand on. "Yeah. Yeah, just gimme a minute and I'll be there."

True to my word, I was above deck a few minutes later. I saw Cordelia and Robin waiting for me. Robin was leaning on the side of the ship, looking at the confusing city of Warreth. I could still remember the day I spent there; absolutely disorientating and stressful. It was beautiful in its own right, but I didn't think I'd want to live there. I'd have a hard time getting anywhere. Cordelia was still not wearing her armor, which was still throwing me for a loop. She was looking up at the sky. At the sunrise specifically. The way the light seemed to highlight all of her great features-

I coughed as I approached.

Robin and Cordelia snapped out of their reverie. Robin nodded. "Good, you are awake. I was beginning to suspect we would have to upend the entire ship just to get you up."

"Christ, Robin," I replied, adjusting the fingers on my iron hand. "I'm not that heavy a sleeper, right Cordy?"

"Well," Cordelia didn't look me in the eye. Her lips were quirked up in a small smile. "It did take me a few minutes to get you to wake up. Even though it seemed your sleep was far from the most restful."

I put my metal hand to my heart dramatically. "So this is what betrayal feels like. And here I was thinking you had my back. We were supposed to fight the evil tactician together!"

Robin looked unimpressed while Cordelia giggled. "Ha! I'm sorry, Alex, but I cannot argue with facts! It's not such a bad trait to have if you can properly manage it."

"Why am I the evil one in this scenario?" Robin asked, seeming genuinely offended. "I am the one who- Gah, never mind." He shook his head, but I could still see a slight smile on his face. "If we get your pegasus, Cordelia, we could be in Ylisstol within a few days. I do not know much about Pegasi, however. Can one hold all three of us?"

"Loathe as I am to admit it, doubtful," Cordelia replied, crossing her arms. "Pegasi can hold two people. The saddle is even designed to accommodate a single passenger if necessary. However, having three people, not only would she be unable to lift off, the saddle wouldn't have enough room." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Which means we will have to travel on foot. Unless one of us wishes to walk while the other two take Aurora."

"Hmm." Robin raised a hand to his chin. "You would obviously need to take her; you're the only one who knows how to ride a Pegasus. However," He became silent for a few moments. "I would like for us to remain together, so we will need to travel on foot. Cordelia, Alex and I will head towards the main gate. You should get your pegasus and meet us there."

Cordelia nodded. "Understood. See you there."

I watched Cordelia as she left. Then, I turned to Robin. "Hey, I've got a-"

"Wait a moment." He held up his hand, walking past me. "The ship's captain has already been paid, so let us walk as we talk. We will move faster that way."

Sputtering indignantly, I followed him off the ship. The docks of Warreth were as crowded and alive as when I saw them last. Not unexpected, but it did make me feel just as uncomfortable. Robin didn't seem to be faring any better, if his quick pace meant anything. Soon enough, though, we were out on the streets. We were supposed to be heading in the direction of the main gate, but considering Warreth's confusing layout, it took us a while to get there.

Robin let out a deep breath once the street thinned out a bit. "Thank the Gods. Crowds are not my element. Now," He turned his head to me. "There was something you were going to ask me. What was it?"

I played around with my iron hand; clicking the fingers back and forth. I even began counting my steps. "I wanted to ask you, uh, about how much Cordy knows. Does she-?"

Robin narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "She does not. Don't start with this again, Alex."

I waved my arm. "Don't worry, Robin. I'm not gonna relapse on you. I-I realize that Emmeryn's fate was sealed from the very beginning, what with all the shit surrounding it. And… and Donnel too. I was more talking about- Well, you know I was looking for the Outrealm Gate. I assume you know, uh, all about my situation, right?"

"If you are referring to your being from another world?" Robin began, basically answering my question. "Yes. Yes I do. I realized it the moment I heard you were searching for the Outrealm Gate. It made a lot of sense. After all, your clothes when I first met you were nothing like the others, and you claimed to be from a country no one had ever heard of before. Although I am confused as to how you are able to speak perfect Common yet unable to write it."

"Hey, I've gotten better!" I claimed vehemently. "But yeah, I can see how you were able to figure it out."

Robin's eyes were filled with sympathy. "I cannot blame you for keeping it a secret. For someone without all of the pieces, it would seem incredibly implausible, at best. And I have made a great deal of mistakes when I did not consider all of the pieces."

I didn't know what he was referring to other than Emmeryn when he said that, so I just kept walking.

"She does not know you are from another world, Alex," Robin said after a few seconds, after we passed another block. "And I doubt that would change her opinion of you much. I do not understand why you are concerned about it, but there it is."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "It's not so much that I'm concerned, really." I looked to the right at a random building. "For some reason, I wanna tell her. Or start with her. I don't know."

Maybe I was tired of keeping secrets. Maybe I just wanted one other person to know, and Cordelia was the only other person I trusted. It was hard to tell.

"She probably has an inkling already," Robin suggested. "She is a smart woman. Whether you tell her or not is up to you. I shall not make that decision for you." He looked at me. "However, I would keep your foreknowledge under wraps. It is not something someone wishes to have thrust upon them."

I looked down. "Robin, I'm-"

"Do not apologize, Alex," Robin interrupted, holding a hand up. "I have made my share of mistakes in the past. Not that you telling me of the future is one of them. Just remember that. We will need to discuss that more later."

I nodded, saying nothing for the rest of our trip through Warreth.

I didn't tell Cordelia anything for around half of our journey back; too busy working up the courage. Besides, the timing didn't feel right. I would've told her at some point, I thought to myself. I'd laugh about it later, I joked with myself.

The journey back was to be a long one. It took me alone just over a week to make it to Warreth, so we had to hoof it a little if we wanted to make it to Ylisstol before spring began. It was still early March, but as far south as we were, I could feel the cold begin to recede. Not by much, but it was starting. Only a couple more weeks and winter would be over.

We spent most of the way back in silence. It turned out all three of us were introverts. Well, four of us. Cordelia's pegasus was with us the entire way. I got jitters just looking at it, although not nearly as bad as when I first saw one. I couldn't get the feeling that the damn thing was staring at me. Judging me.

I ignored it. Mostly because to acknowledge that would lead to madness.

Eventually, however, we stopped in a small village, somewhat off the beaten path. It was just about a week after we set out from Warreth. We were near Ylisstol, but we still had a few days left. Something about the village seemed familiar. It wasn't Southtown; it wasn't as advanced as that place. It was a peasant village, virtually indistinguishable from all the ones we passed through all those months ago when we were patrolling Southern Ylisse. Yet, I couldn't shake off the familiarity. I brought it up with Robin.

He shrugged. "Perhaps we have been here before. I am sure we will find out when we get to the inn."

"That's a very vague answer, Robin." I pointed out, walking beside him.

"So it is," He agreed. "However, it is the best one I can provide."

Cordelia looked ahead of us. If there was one other thing I'd figured out about her during our travels, it was that she had excellent vision. Well, she had excellent everything. That wasn't any surprise. She pointed at one of the larger buildings with a shingle dangling on a pole in front of it. "There it is. Let us hope they have room to spare."

I didn't bother to read the name of the inn since we'd only be staying for a night. We went inside, and a wave of heat hit me like someone threw a warm blanket at my face. It was that sort of comforting heat you feel wrapped up next to a fire in the middle of winter. I angrily wondered why I didn't take the chance to get an inn on my way to Whiteford Isle and instead decided to camp out in the open in the middle of winter. I may not have been in the best state of mind, but that really didn't excuse it.

Whatever. I was over it.

The place was mostly empty, with only a few chairs and tables occupied. Behind a wooden counter a portly man stood and watched us walk in with excitement. It was like we were the only ones to enter in years. He hastily agreed to give us three rooms.

It was nice to be in a building again, instead of the ship we got to Warreth on which would rock like it was trying to get me to sleep and failing or sleeping in the cold with only a fire to keep me warm. It may have been late winter, but it was still winter.

We gathered in one room, just to talk. We still had daylight left, after all, and what better way to do that than have three introverts attempt to make conversation? Luckily, Robin seemed particularly antsy that evening.

"I am beginning to worry," He said, pacing. "I knew it would take some time, but to take this long…"

"Robin," I called, sitting down on the bed as Cordelia watched Robin go back and forth. "We'll be there in a few days; calm down. You've been like this for a while now, what the hell's going on?"

Robin sighed. "I am just worried that Chrom will become worried. I do not like the idea of causing him undue stress, especially with the responsibilities he has now. Beyond that, there was something he wanted to speak to me about before I left. Something important. I am just, well, perhaps I am a little too high-strung."

"I'll say," I remarked.

Cordelia looked at Robin, curiosity in her red eyes. "It must have been something big to have you this stressed. Do you have any idea what it is?"

"I have come up with several possibilities," Robin explained. "Everything from knighthood to a noble title. All of them are worth it if he wants me to have them. Perhaps I am thinking too much of it, but it refuses to leave my head."

"Prince Chrom, he has a way of telling where people are needed, and their potential," Cordelia said, a small sigh escaping her lips. "I'm sure whatever he has planned for you, he knows it can wait. He's an understanding and good man, Robin."

I didn't fail to notice the slight blush on her cheeks.

Robin nodded, massaging his temples. "Yes. Yes I know that, Cordelia. I am too stressed out." He walked to the door. "I shall… I will take a walk. Attempt to get my emotions to settle. I shall be back shortly."

Robin gave me a look as he left. I was confused for a second until he closed the door behind him.

Then it was just the two of us.

Alone.

Kill me.

Cordelia sighed again, rubbing her forehead. It was still weird to see her without her armor. "Gods, and Sumia told me that I was high-strung. Robin is going to fall down dead at this rate."

"Heh," I chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly call you high-strung. Maybe a little neurotic but nothing serious."

"If that is what you call diligence, then I shall take that as a compliment," She replied, slumping in her seat. "I miss them, now. We shall see them soon, but it's been a couple weeks since I have spoken with Sumia or anyone else. I suppose I'd grown accustomed to having her and everyone else available."

I frowned, a little bit of guilt clawing through my chest. I was the reason she was there-

No.

It was okay to feel guilty, but I would not moan about it. Not even in my head.

We fell into a comfortable silence after that brief exchange. It was difficult to come up with things to talk about that didn't relate to my whole situation. No matter what, it would come up in my head.

It took me a second to realize that was my chance. No one around except for the two of us. Not that Robin being there would have been bad, but somehow, I'd prefer to do it on my own. Best to tell her then and get it over with.

"Hey," I rasped, coughing into my sleeve. "Hey, lemme ask you something."

"Hmm?" She hummed, looking at me sleepily. "By all means."

"Er," I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. Cordelia seemed to be catching onto my nervousness; the sleepiness left her eyes, and she sat straight, giving me her full attention.

That only made it worse.

"Well," I began, not looking her in the eye. "Y-you know how I was searching for an Outrealm Gate, right?"

She nodded. "Yes. Sumia said as much." She scooted a little closer. "I assume you are going to tell me why, exactly, you would go to the literal edge of Ylisse to look for that legend?"

I swallowed for the umpteenth time, before looking back to face her as I said it. "Well, I've made it no secret that I'm not from around here. But, and there isn't any other way to say this, really, but I'm not even from this world."

Cordelia blinked. "What?"

I turned away again. "Fuck, I didn't really explain much with that, huh?" I shook my head before turning back to her. "I'm not from this world, okay? I'm from a place called Earth, the United States of America. Got off a bus to go home and walked straight into this place with no rhyme or reason. Just fucking plopped down like a sack of shit in the middle of a field. Saw Southtown in the distance and said 'fuck it' and went there and met Chrom, and, well, the rest is history." I looked down. "So there. Just wanted to let you know, I guess."

Cordelia stared at me for a few seconds. I could almost see the gears turning in her head. "You-you just… walked… between worlds?" She whispered.

My lips thinned. "Yeah, something like that."

Cordelia shook her head. "Ignoring that I have no idea as to what a 'bus' is," She paused, gathering her thoughts. "I-I suppose, in some way, that makes sense. Not the way you got here, but… How do you know that you're from another world?"

"Because, where I come from, we haven't used swords and armor like the ones you find here in centuries," I explained, the words almost pouring out of my mouth. "There are no pegasi, no wyverns, no magic. My, er, my people have had to rely on technology to get us going. Since you said you don't know what a bus is, well, closest thing I could approximate it to would be a horseless carriage. Instead of crapping, though, it lets out carbon emissions."

It looked like Cordelia was blasted with a gust of wind with the way she looked. She was bemused, confused, and any other synonym I could think of. After a while though, she seemed to come to an understanding.

"That certainly sounds hardly believable," Cordelia said, wiping her forehead. "If it were anyone else telling me this, I would not believe them. I'd think they were jesting. But what you've told me, all of it is true, isn't it?"

I nodded silently.

She hummed, looking down at the floor. "I admit, that was one of the more outlandish things that I thought about on our way to bring you back. Somehow, it was stuck in the back of my mind. But, now that I've heard it from you," She paused, before looking back up at me. "I suppose that makes some sense. You certainly have some strange values, compared to some people I have met. And the things you told me of your home can't all be explained by a difference in culture."

I shrugged, feeling like I'd gotten a huge weight off my chest. "Well, it probably adds more context to the whole 'never being able to see my family again', huh?"

"Yes," She affirmed slowly. "I suppose it does. I had no idea, Alex. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you."

"Don't be sorry; you haven't done anything," I said, shaking my head and standing up. "I'm just glad I was able to tell somebody that!" I chuckled airily, feeling like I'd lost several pounds. "Besides, I don't think being here is so bad." I looked down at my iron hand. "Well, most of the time."

Cordelia stared at my metal hand for a moment, her expression a mix between concern and sympathy. "Alex, I'm glad you let me know about this. Even if it was difficult to say. If there is anything else you would like to tell me, I will not hesitate to listen."

"Same to you," I replied, walking to the door. "Feels like years ago since we had one of our little chats. I've missed them. I'm, uh, gonna go ahead and go to sleep now. I'll see you later, alright?"

Cordelia nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "Yes. I'll tell Robin that you turned in when he comes back."

"Yeah, thanks." I opened the door. "Night!"

"Good night!"

I closed the door and took a deep breath.

That… was easier than I thought.

Telling Cordelia about where I came from may have been easier than I expected, but even so my heart would not stop pounding. I laid in my bed, the sound of my heartbeat my only company, unable to get to sleep. Well, I got a couple minutes here and there, but nothing substantial. In the end, I wouldn't get much sleep that night no matter how hard I tried.

It may have been a terrible idea to go out and wander the village at what I assumed to be around four in the morning. Some people may've been up at that time, but not anyone I'd be interested in talking to. I left the inn quietly, passing by my companions' rooms on the way out. The dirt streets of the village were empty, save for the occasional person I ended up going past. They didn't give me the time of day, and neither would I them.

It occurred to me that I never really looked at the moon. I knew it was there; it shined almost every night. I didn't study it, though. I didn't see if it was any different.

On that cold street, I looked up.

The moon wasn't the same. It was closer, and the craters were all wrong. There weren't even any dark patches on it.

I looked back down and sighed. I'd get used to it.

As I continued to walk, something felt off. I remembered how similar the village felt. Robin seemingly didn't know why, or if he did, he didn't tell me.

And why would that be?

It took me a couple of minutes, but I finally realized it. We were in Donnel's village. We stayed outside of it for a night when we were patrolling back in summer. It felt like it'd been years since then. So much had changed.

Donnel was dead, for one.

I couldn't help but frown as that crossed my mind. I knew it wasn't my fault. People die in war all the time. Robin's words from weeks prior still held true.

Even then, I couldn't get the feeling that something was missing out of my head.

"I knew it," A woman's voice said from behind me. "I done knew it was you."

I whirled around, my iron hand going for my sword before realizing it was on the other side of my hip. By the time I realized that, though, I recognized the woman in front of me. If I were generous, I'd call her middle-aged. Brown hair tied into a ponytail and a chubby but strong build. I'd recognize the woman anywhere, even if I'd only really seen her once.

Donnel's mother. What're the odds?

"…You" I mumbled awkwardly. "You're-"

She put her hands to her hips. "Donny's ma? Aye, that I am. And ya must be Alexander, huh?"

I didn't look her in the eye. Even after I agreed to go back with Robin and Cordelia, I still had a problem with that. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. How'd you know my name?"

Donnel's mom smiled. A sad smile that made me want to curl up into a ball and forget everything. "I done made sure my boy knew how to read and write," She replied, emotions straining her voice. "He made sure to write home. Up 'till he marched with ya'll to kick Gangrel's mongrel hide. He mentioned ya lots. Always heapin' praise on ya like ya were the brother he never had!"

I rubbed the sides of my nose, taking deep breaths. "I-I had no idea. I'm… I know you've probably heard this from tons of people since… well, you know, but I'm honestly sorry. I really, really am."

"Bah!" Donnel's mom waved a hand dismissively. "There ain't nothin' ya need to apologize for. I heard 'nough from all them Shepherds and His Majesty!" She sighed, and I saw her wipe her eyes from the corner of my vision. "I always did have a bad feelin' when I saw him march on with ya'll. Shoulda known." She shook her head, attempting to keep it together. "But that ain't what I tried to find ya for. Heard ya'll, or some of ya'll anyhow, were in town. Turns out it was the lot who didn't show up for my boy's funeral."

I winced.

Sir Donnel's funeral is to be held in just a few days. I do not know where you are intending to go, but you will certainly miss it if you do not go back.

Lucina's words hit harder than they did when we last met.

"Then, what did you want from me?" I asked, holding my arms out. "I don't- I'm not sure what I could do right now."

"I want ya to come with me," She said, jerking a thumb back. "I gots somethin' I think ya should see. Or ol' Donny woulda wanted ya to see. He was always like that. He had lots of his father in 'im."

I didn't know what to say, really. What could I say? I may not have blamed myself for a lot of things anymore, but somehow, I still felt apprehension at her request. Like if I did it, I'd come out a different person. Not that I wasn't already. The person who stepped off that bus only to find himself just outside of Southtown was a completely different person, as far as I was concerned.

It was not the time to be thinking of things like that, but I was doing it anyway. Par for the course with me.

Shakily, I nodded.

"It ain't the biggest place in Ylisse, but it was 'nough for us," Donnel's mom remarked unbidden as soon as we entered her house. "Donny had his own room. Down there a ways. I put what ya need to see in there."

She pointed further down the small wooden hallway to an old-looking oak door. The house itself wasn't anything special, although I thought that added to its charm; it was humble, with nothing unnecessary.

With my eyes on the floor, I stalled. "Are you sure you want me to? I mean, this seems rather personal."

"It's fine," She assuaged, walking forward. "I said so, didn't I? Donny woulda wanted ya to read 'em. I think he woulda. He never did stop sayin' all these things 'bout you. It's how I was able to pick you out when all my ol' friends said some strangers walked right on in." She looked me in the eye. "Ya look like ya ain't stayin' long, so if ya leave after ya read 'em, don't mind me none."

She trusted me enough to just let me into her home. There'd been a lot of that happening recently.

I gulped, my footsteps ringing hollowly in my ears as I walked. It didn't take long for me to reach the door to Donnel's room, and when I did, I opened it. The door squeaked, sounding like mice were infesting it. I walked in, taking in everything.

It was a small room. A glassless window shown a blue light through it, making the room seem rather calm. A desk sat haphazardly to the side of the room, old and worn. Several rocks I couldn't identify laid on top of it. Along with what appeared to be drawings, with an extinguished lamp right at the side. The bed sat right up against the wall, with plain coverings and a single pillow.

Donnel would never sleep there again.

What interested me the most was what laid on top of his bed. Several papers arranged as gingerly as possible sat right in the middle. I stepped toward it, taking care to step lightly. I didn't know why I did that; it just seemed right. The first paper looked a little crinkled, with what I assumed to be tear stains marking it.

I knew where those came from.

Nonetheless, I began reading what I assumed to be the first letter. My Common was still pretty basic, but luckily that's all Donnel seemed to write in.

Dear Ma.

I miss you. Just wanted to let you know. All the Shepherds are all mighty kind to me. They even let me train with them! I didn't get hurt none, though. Not- Maybe a little. Alex has been the kindest to me. Let me train with him from dawn to dusk and didn't complain none when I didn't catch on like he thought I would. He's really strong! Don't talk much though. Strong and silent, kinda like da was.

Ain't saying he's like da was. I loved da. I wish- I hope he's doing alright, wherever he is. You never did take me to any churches, but one of them priests came by the barracks the other day and told me more about Naga. You think that's where da is? Naga seems like a nice lady. Kinda like Alex, but Alex ain't a god. Or a lady.

Kinda wish I was more like him. He says he had a head start and that's why he's so strong already. This Sully girl kinda came in and said some things, but I think they're friends, so I stayed quiet.

Anyway, think I made this letter here too long. I'll write to ya soon, ma! Ain't got much glory yet, though I think I'll be getting some soon.

Donny.

I put the letter down, my breathing heavy. The tears didn't fall. Not yet. Even then, though, I felt a pain in my chest. A lump in my throat. The first time I'd gotten to hear Donnel's unfiltered thoughts, and it was after he died. He was always genuine, though, so I probably heard his true feelings all the time.

I rubbed my forehead. I wished I'd gotten more of a chance to talk to him. I wished I'd done a lot more things differently. If I could go back and change things, I would.

I couldn't, though. Donnel would always be dead. Nothing would change that.

I looked at the last letter of the pile. It'd be weird, skipping to the last letter Donnel ever sent, but I wanted to. Well, a part of me didn't. I part of me I was beginning to stop listening to. Despite my apprehension and fear, I picked up the last letter.

Dear Ma.

Alex got hurt. He got hurt bad. A lot of Shepherds got hurt bad. It was hard to look at. All of them were just in the wagons. The sounds they made-

I don't like thinking about it much. The other Shepherds are back up now. I nearly fell over when Vaike came up behind me and gave me a bear hug! I liked it. It meant they were still alive.

Alex's gotten quiet, though. Really quiet. Looks like he's got lots on his mind. He's strong. Sure he'll pull through it. And if he can't I'll be sure to help him out. Just like he helped me back when I first came around! Da always told me you should pay your debts. I don't owe Alex any gold, but I think da would tell me the same thing he just did for this anyway. So that's that.

Anyway, think I'll come home soon. All the Shepherds saying this'll be the 'deciding battle' or some such. Maybe I could bring home something. We're going to a place called the 'Old Altean Wasteland'. Wonder what kinda rocks they got there? Shepherds say it don't have rocks. Just dust. Either way, think it'll be over soon.

See you when I get home, ma!

Donny.

That did it. Using my good arm to support myself, I slowly lowered myself down. The tears came down like rain; I couldn't control them.

Donnel.

"God damn you," I sniffled, eyeing my iron hand. "God damn it, Donny."

I don't know how long I sat there. All I knew was that I stopped crying after a while. The first rays of sunshine burst over the horizon and filtered through the window. Just staring at the floor, my thoughts were all over the place.

After some time, though, I got up. I had come to a decision.

I had somewhere I needed to go.

Asking around was easier, considering it was early morning then. I'd apparently been in Donnel's room for over an hour. Unsurprising, but it didn't matter. What did matter was what the locals told me. There was a church, located right in the middle of the village. Even though, from what I read, Donnel's mother never really took him to church, he was buried there.

The graveyard wasn't very big. It had a couple well-defined gravestones sticking out of the ground, but other than that, nothing special. There was one, though, right at the edge of it. Grass hadn't crept over the disturbed earth yet, and there were wilted and dead flowers surrounding it. Lilies.

It couldn't have been more obvious. I stepped through the graveyard, minding where I was stepping.

Before long, I stood in front of the grave. The epitaph nearly made me collapse right there.

Here lies Donnel Tinhead.

Cremated and returned to the earth on February 18, 998 AS.

Gave his life in service to Prince Chrom Adriatus Lowell. He will not be forgotten.

May he find peace in the embrace of Naga.

"Fuck," I swore under my breath, looking at Donnel's grave. "I- Damnit, I don't know what to say."

I collected myself as best as I could. Not an easy task, considering my state of mind from before.

"D-Donny," I said shakily, attempting to stand tall. "I-I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your funeral. I was in a bad place. Although that really isn't a good excuse, is it?" I swallowed the lump in my throat down. "I-I read your letters. They, well, I had no idea you even wrote them, heh, they were… they were really well-written. Like, damn. But, you really did think highly of me, huh? I don't, I didn't deserve it. Your respect."

I paused for a moment, wiping my eyes. My iron hand glinted dully in the sun.

"I-I'm not even half the person you thought I was. Let's be honest." I looked down at the loose earth. "But that doesn't mean I can't do better. I need to do better. I can't, I can't just run away and forget things that happen. I can't blame myself for shit that isn't my fault. I have to do better if I want to get anywhere. And," My expression hardened. "I promise you. I will do better. I will be the best version of myself I can be. I won't stop until I'm the person you wrote about in your letters. I swear to you."

I bowed my head low, wiping at my face again. Turning around, I spared one last glance behind me.

"Goodbye, Donny," I whispered.

Walking away was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. I left that graveyard with a new purpose.

I would never go home. Instead I'd live in Ylisse with my allies, my friends. I'd become the best person I could be. I would live for those around me. They deserved as much.

I just regretted that it took me so long to get to that point.

I met up with Robin and Cordelia not long after that. We were only a couple more days away from Ylisstol, and we made good time. We arrived just a couple days after we left Donnel's village. It was late March, and the last gasps of winter were making themselves known. Cold wind blew across the plains Ylisstol was situated on.

Soon enough, we were in. Ylisstol was still in a bit of a state, but I could tell improvements and repairs had been done. Some buildings were re-erected, and the rubble I'd seen before I left was either no longer there or in the process of being cleaned up.

It was strange walking through the place. I didn't think I'd ever see it again just a month before. Yet, there I was. Walking side by side with the two people who I could call my best friends.

Eventually, we found ourselves just outside the barracks.

I stopped, looking at the doors. "Fuck, I'm nervous."

"Run away again, and I will not follow you," Robin threatened.

"Jesus," I replied, eyeing Robin. "Wasn't gonna go that far. It's just that, well, it's been a while. Don't tell me you're not nervous to meet Chrom."

"Hmm," Robin hummed mysteriously, turning around. "Thank you for reminding me that I have to meet with him. I will be sure to tell him of our safe return."

"Robin, the fuck man-"

Cordelia sighed. "I regret to say that I should probably report in to Flight-Commander Phila. Go ahead and enter, Alex."

"I- What," I flatly continued. Cordelia and Robin walked away, although Cordelia gave me an encouraging smile as she did. That made me feel a little better.

Soon enough, it was just me outside the door.

I gulped, swallowing my apprehension and opening it. The creaking sound it made caused me to cringe.

"Aw, damn! Look who it is!" A familiar, boisterous voice boomed, approaching me from the front. Vaike walked up to me, looking at me up and down. "Eh. Ya look like you've seen better days, huh?"

"I-I," I got a hold of myself. "First thing you say to me, and it's that. Christ, man. You're still not wearing a goddamn shirt."

Vaike flexed. "Damn right I ain't! Have ya seen these? Teach couldn't just let 'em sit in a stuffy shirt all day! Gotta let 'em free!"

"Oh fuck off," I replied. "I'm surprised you don't have more scars. Zero protection."

"Hey, if the guy's already dead, then he can't hit me," Vaike retorted. I just sputtered.

"Vaike, what're shoutin' and hollerin' for-" Of all people, Sully came around the corner. "Ah shit, look who's back from their little expedition," She remarked, walking up to me. It looked like she was studying me while she was at it. "Damn, ya look like shit. They didn't have lakes where you were?"

"No. No they didn't," I confirmed dryly. "No streams either. Just had the ocean. And, well, I'm salty enough as it is."

"Heh, now I know why Gaius calls ya 'Sailor'!" Vaike laughed.

I shook my head, chuckling a little myself. I made a show of looking around. "Where is everyone?"

"Eh, around," Sully said, motioning her hand around. "They're all over the place since the big news came in and you guys left for your 'investigation'. Sure there's a few of 'em 'round. Should go and clean yerself up first. Can't go 'round like you are. Look and smell like you're homeless."

"Damn, Sully. Poor guy's back for, what, five minutes? Did the Vaike go a little too hard during training this morning? Ha!"

"Oh, there he goes again!" Sully glared. "Little bastard. Think you're tough shit 'cause you got a lucky hit."

"L-little!?" Vaike parroted incredulously, like Sully had slapped him across the face. "T-the hell do ya think yer talkin' to!?"

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing.

I'd missed those guys. I wondered why I even left in the first place.

Not much to say. The next few chapters are gonna be pretty fun to write, in my opinion. Lots of worldbuilding as the timeskip marches on.

Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a

Hope you enjoyed!

Edited on 2/24/21. I like this chapter. Nothing much else to say. Other than my writing style has improved considerably since these old chapters lol.