Chapter 167
Tegan got up to answer a soft knock on the front door. "Hey" said a fragile looking Kate. "Hey bud" said Tegan and waved her in. Kate stayed in one spot outside. "Sara around?" asked Kate. "She's sleeping on the couch" said Tegan. "Is she okay?" asked Kate. "She'll be okay… she just needs a bit of time I think" said Tegan. Kate walked up to the couch and stopped in her tracks when she saw Sara sleeping with Casey on her chest. She walked through the open patio doors and sat down next to the pool. "Kate? You okay?" asked Tegan softly. "Yeah, just need to take Sara home now" said Kate. "She's finally calm and talking a nap, just give it a few minutes" said Tegan. Kate nodded. "Can I pour you a drink? Looks as if you need it" said Tegan. "Uhhh, sure" said Kate with her throbbing head in her hand.
"Here you go" said Tegan and handed Kate a Jack Daniel's on the rocks. The glass of bourbon shook in Kate's hand. "Kate… are you sure you're okay?" asked Tegan softly. "Yes, thank you" said Kate looking the other way. Kate downed her drink with one swig and took a large gulp of air. "Thanks for that, I'm going to check on Sara" said Kate. Kate walked into the house and sat down gently next to a sleeping Sara. Lindsey had since removed Casey from Sara's chest to put her to bed. "Hey Sar…. Sweetie" she said softly stroking Sara's hair. Sara slowly opened her eyes. "Kate" she said softly and smiled sadly. "You ready to go home angel?" asked Kate. Sara nodded.
Sara and Kate entered their house in silence. "I'm going to hit the sack" said Sara. "Sar… can we talk?" asked Kate. "Um… sure" said Sara. "Let me make you some tea and something to eat first" said Kate. "Katy… Thank you but you don't have to do that. I've eaten already" said Sara. "Okay… can I at least make myself something to eat, I'm starving. Last time I ate was 5 am this morning" said Kate. "I'm going to take a quick shower first" said Sara. "Okay sweetie" said Kate and switched on the kettle. Kate paced up and down in the kitchen contemplating the wisdom of what she was about to do. "I have to" she whispered. "Have to what" said Sara walking up behind her.
"Sar... sit down. Here's your tea" said Kate. Sara sat down on the couch in the living room. "Are you okay sweetie?" asked Kate concerned tucking a strand of hair behind Sara's ear. "I'm okay. I had a good talk with Tegan this afternoon. I'm so sad but I'm okay, we're going to be fine baby" said Sara. Kate nodded. "Are YOU okay? You look exhausted" said Sara looking at the dark rings forming under Kate's eyes. "Yeah... I'm fine. Just had a really busy... and challenging day" said Kate. "How's your patient? The one they paged you for?" asked Sara. "He's... he's doing okay now. He's stable, he's awake and he's already asking for ice cream. He's going to be just fine in a month or two" said Kate laughing. "That's great news, congratulations" said Sara.
"Sar... I want to tell you something but I'm not sure I should" said Kate. "You can tell me anything Katy, you know that" said Sara. "Yeah but... this" said Kate shaking her head. "Tell me... your heart is telling you to tell me isn't it" said Sara. Kate nodded. "Aaron... the boy we were just talking about" said Kate. Sara nodded and took Kate's hand in hers. "Remember I told you that his heart stopped... and we had some trouble getting him back?" said Kate. "Yes, that must have been so hard baby" said Sara. "Well... he woke up a few hours later and..." said Kate staring out in front of her. She kept quiet for a minute. "I'm listening" said Sara sweetly. "Out of nowhere... the kid just piped up that... that he played with my kids" said Kate. Sara cocked her head. "He what?" she asked confused. "You heard right. I told him I don't have kids and he just said yes I do... the boy... Jessie and the girl that didn't say her name" said Kate. Sara was suddenly as pale as a sheet. She stared at Kate looking confused and angry. "Kate if this is your idea of making me feel better or... or... fuck this... it's not working... it's not funny" said Sara jumping up.. "Sara... I'm not making this up" said Kate softly. "I don't understand" said Sara with her arms folded looking out into the garden. "At first I thought it was just the drugs talking but... he knew the name Jessie Sara... how could he know that? The only two people in the world who know that is you and me" said Kate.
Sara turned around slowly. "Do... do you think he went to heaven... or something... or... or is there some kind of explanation for this?" said Sara. "I've been thinking about this the whole afternoon. I think he did see them Sar... there's no other explanation. I never mentioned anything to him. He's four years old, why would I? Aaron was dead for almost 15 minutes Sara... I really didn't think we were getting him back" said Kate. "So Jessie's a boy after all" said Sara laughing through tears. "Good thing we didn't call him Anna" laughed Kate sadly. "And... a little girl... What else did he say?" asked Sara. "He said he loved that place... that it was fun, and beautiful and he didn't have any pain" said Kate. "How big were they, were they babies... or kids?" asked Sara. "I don't know, I didn't ask" said Kate. "How could you not ask?" said Sara sounding upset. "I... I was kind of upset and confused... I wasn't thinking straight... Besides, the kid definitely didn't need a million questions when he woke up" said Kate. Sara sat down wordlessly next to Kate. "He said they loved us a lot" said Kate and gave a stifled sob. Sara broke down in Kate's arms. After a long, good cry Sara pulled away from Kate. "Can we... maybe we can talk to him tomorrow... find out more" said Sara. "Sar... I don't know if that's a good idea. The kid's been through a lot" said Kate. "Yeah but this was obviously not a traumatic experience for him" said Sara. "Isn't it enough to know that they're out there somewhere... and that they're happy?" said Kate softly. Sara stayed quiet for a minute before nodding. "Yeah... I'm okay with that" said Sara. "We should name her" said Kate. "Can we call her Julie? That's my aunt that passed away's name. I know she'll look after them" smiled Sara. "That's a great name. Julie it is" said Kate and took Sara into her arms. "If you can hear us Jessie and Julie... we love you" whispered Sara.
Two months later
"Ladies and Gentlemen, here to perform their Academy Award nominated song Rain from the film Cloudless is the phenomenal Tegan and Sara" said Ellen, the Oscar host and the crowd erupted. Erin's movie, featuring Tegan and Sara's music as the soundtrack was a massive hit with audiences and critics alike and was nominated for countless Oscars. Tegan and Sara had won numerous awards for the song and the soundtrack already in the weeks leading up to the Oscars, including a Golden Globe. The movie had made Tegan and Sara household names. They reached audiences they could never have dreamed to reach and the album sold millions. Tegan took a deep breath as the screen in front of them lifted. This was the first time performing this song live in front of an audience. A song that meant a lot for Tegan. A song that she didn't just write for the film, it was a song she wrote about her own demons, her own fight and it just happened to work perfectly in the movie. The song was about rain, about not being able to see through it, move through it... getting lost in it, drowning in it, but eventually how it's cleansing and how everything sparkles after it. Tegan knew that she could not have written this song without Sara's input. Tegan put in the raw emotion and Sara finished it off beautifully. Tonight they performed the song acoustically, just her and Sara sitting on stools with their guitars. Tegan felt the familiar rush of adrenaline through her veins as she gave Sara a quick nod when the cheering from the audience had died down. She closed her eyes as her fingers danced over her guitar strings.
"Baby that was fucking amazing" said Lindsey excitedly when Tegan sat back down next to her a few minutes later. "Thanks... I was scared shitless" whispered Tegan. Erin turned around in her front row seat and squeezed her hand. "Phenomenal" she mouthed and winked. "You looked so hot up there" said Lindsey. Both Tegan and Sara were wearing stylish dark grey suits that had a feminine touch. They nailed their look, the style commentators loved it and all appreciated the fact that the twins didn't conform and wear fancy gowns like most of the rest of the women in the audience. "That was awesome, congratulations" smiled Kate and squeezed Sara's hand. "Thanks babe" smiled Sara. "You feeling okay?" asked Kate concerned. "Yeah, no problem" said Sara and put her hand subconsciously on her ever expanding belly.
"The five songs nominated for best original song in a feature film shows us once again that music is a undeniable catalyst to our emotions and an integral part of film making. All five are musical masterpieces. Herewith the nominees again" said Ben Affleck and started reading the nominees. Tegan and Sara were in the company of musical royalty. U2, Coldplay, P!nk, Taylor Swift. Tegan felt her heart beat out of her chest and her hands shake. She knew they didn't stand much of a chance and certainly didn't get her hopes up but this was still quite nerve wrecking. "And our final nominee... Rain from the film Cloudless. Written and performed by Tegan and Sara Quin" said Ben on stage. Tegan looked at Sara and smiled.
"And the Oscar goes to" said Ben and struggled to open the envelope. "Tegan and Sara... Tegan and Sara" whispered Lindsey next to Tegan squeezing just about all the blood from Tegan's hand. Tegan couldn't help but laugh. "Tegan and Sara for Rain" smiled Ben. The crowd erupted and got on their feet for one of the few standing ovations that night. The song really had been a phenomenal success, connecting with so many people. That, coupled with Tegan and Sara's personal story that was eventually shared in the long awaited Oprah interview, endeared them to the masses. Tegan sat wordlessly for a second trying to comprehend what just happened. "Baby you won... Tee... Congratulations my angel" said Lindsey and kissed a shocked looking Tegan. Tegan turned to Sara and hugged her, a massive smile finally breaking on her face. She turned back around and hugged Alex, then Erin. "This is all because of you" she said. Tegan smiled as she walked through the audience and felt numerous pats on her back.
"Thank you so much... I'm hardly ever at a loss for words but I am now" said Tegan looking pale holding the golden statuette. "I'll give you a sec" smiled Sara and started rambling. "Thank you firstly to all of our fantastic friends and family... and our fans, for standing by us... always... but especially through the very dark time we went through before writing this album. Thank you to our management, our wonderful band, to Warner films. To all of the other nominees, we respect and admire you so much and you're all way more deserving of this award" said Sara and touched Tegan's arm to give her a bit of encouragement. "Thank you mostly to our dear friend Erin... for believing in us when we certainly didn't... for giving us this amazing opportunity... for giving us a few kicks up the bum when we needed it. For helping me find... my voice again. You're amazing Erin and this movie is just phenomenal. It's an inspiration. Thank you! And then a massive thank you to the loves of our lives. My amazing wife Lindsey and my two gorgeous babies back home who I am just head over heals in love with. Kids, don't give grandma too much grief. Linds... you make me want to be a better person... your love is my inspiration... my everything. Thank you for sticking by me... through all my shit. I love you" smiled Tegan and looked at Sara. "To the most special person in my life Kate... I love you more than words can say" said Sara with her hand on her heart. The music started playing to rush the twins off stage. "No no, just a sec" said Tegan. She turned to Sara and smiled. "Thank you Sara... for everything" she said sincerely. "Thank you Tegan" smiled Sara and hugged Tegan.
"What the fuck just happened" said Tegan looking dazed as they reached the side of the stage. "Quin for the win" exclaimed Sara and threw her hands in the air. "Holy crap! We just won an Oscar" whispered Tegan and started laughing. She hugged Sara tight for a few seconds. "I don't say this enough, I love you Sara" said Tegan. "And I love you brother" laughed Sara. Some people quickly ushered the twins to the media interview room. Tegan and Sara were quite a hit and were their adorable, charming, articulate selves during the interview.
Tegan glanced up at one of the TV monitors. The next category was being announced as they walked out of the interview. "And the Oscar for best original screenplay goes to... Erin Morgan for Cloudless" announced George Clooney with a massive smile. "Yes" yelled Tegan and jumped up and down. Tegan ran to the side of the stage and watched her friend accept her award. She grinned proudly as she listened to the funny, charming speech. Her thanking of everybody involved, her heartwarming thanks to Alex. She had thanked Tegan and Sara earlier in the speech already but ended off acknowledging Tegan again. "I wrote 80% of this script sitting next to an ICU hospital bed... watching my best friend fight for her life... with everything in her... And in that pain... hers, her loved ones... and in the glory of that recovery... and the love and light surrounding us... this story was born... And I thank you for that inspiration Tegan" said Erin, now in tears. Erin walked off stage and glanced up. She saw Tegan standing in front of her with her arms open and a massive smile. "Come here! Congratulations... Thank you for that E... I love you" said Tegan hugging Erin.
"Wow... what a night!" yelled Tegan as they walked to the fancy Governors ball for the award winner and VIP guests. "You were amazing guys" said Erin. "And you! Holy shit! Three Oscars!" said Tegan and picked Erin up and spun her around. "Tegan stop it you clown! You'll ruin the gown. By the way, I hate to say I told you so but I did tell you you'd win an Oscar before you even started writing" laughed Erin. Erin had not only won for best screenplay but also for best director and the movie won best film. "Yes you did" smiled Tegan shaking her head. "Guys, I meant what I said up there" said Erin looking at Tegan and Sara seriously. "This movie would not be what it is without that soundtrack. That soundtrack is they key to everything" said Erin. "Boy are we good at blowing sunshine up each other's asses" laughed Tegan. "Way to spoil a moment asshole" said Sara laughing. "But seriously Erin, thank you for the opportunity. This project has meant so incredibly much to us. Oh and... you're a genius" said Tegan. "Team effort" said Erin, always reluctant to take the credit.
"Here's my special, handsome co-producer" smiled Erin and gave Alex a long, passionate kiss. "Boy... I'll let you be the boss again any day if this is my reward" joked Alex. "Yeah that and an Oscar silly" said Erin rolling her eyes. Alex shared in the best film Oscar as co-producer. He was also nominated for best actor for a different movie but lost out to another actor that gave the performance of a lifetime. He was however always the gentleman and celebrated the success of his wife and friends with gusto.
"I assume we're not going to bed before sunrise?" said Tegan. "Ummm... maybe, but this pregnant fairy is quite tired" said Sara yawning. "Oh okay then... Let's just show our faces at the ball and then we can celebrate at home afterwards" said Erin. "No you guys should totally go to the big parties, you deserve it" said Sara. "Sar... this next party will be enough. We can go to our place after that. I've got plenty of champagne, alcoholic and non! Besides, everybody I really want to celebrate with is standing right here in front of me" said Erin. "Maybe we'll invite a few more people involved in the film but that's it" said Alex. "I just have to check on the kids, phone mom real quick" said Tegan. "I'm sure they're fine. Jeremy and Jonathan are with her. Those two are so broody it's scary" laughed Sara. Jeremy and his new boyfriend passed on tickets to the ceremony in favour of babysitting with Sonia. "Yeah but I need to check" said Tegan. "Please hold my new baby Oscar Linds" said Tegan before kissing the Oscar and handing it to Lindsey. "Mom" said Tegan and burst into tears. "Congratulations Tegan! I'm so proud. I was screaming so loud I woke the babies up" said Sonia on the other side of the line. "Thank you! Everything okay over there?" asked Tegan. "Everything is fine. We're having a great time. The babies are both in dreamland" said Sonia. "Good... Don't know what time we'll be back mom" said Tegan. "You stay out and celebrate as long as you want. Even if it's till tomorrow night! We're here. We'll take good care of the kids" said Sonia. "Thanks mom... you're the best. I love you" said Tegan. "I love you too Tee... Is Sara there? Can I speak to her?" asked Sonia. "Sure, here she is... bye mom... and thanks again for everything" said Tegan before handing the phone to Sara and grabbing her Oscar again. "Good thing you both get a statue because I don't think shared custody would have worked" laughed Lindsey. "No it wouldn't" laughed Tegan. "You have a new love in your life now... that bastard Oscar" joked Lindsey. "Funny... come here hot stuff" said Tegan and kissed Lindsey passionately.
After a long few hours of posing for pictures and hob-nobbing with Hollywood's elite Tegan walked up to Sara who was finally sitting at a table looking tired. "Let's get out of here" she said with her hands on Sara's shoulders. "Yes! Please" sighed Sara. Champagne was popping in the limo back to Erin's house and Tegan was getting quite jovial. Sara wasn't drinking, neither was Kate out of support to Sara. They found this all very amusing.
"Sara... sister Sara... little Sasa" said Tegan, clearly quite tipsy stumbling up to Sara sitting next to the pool at Erin's house a few hours later. Kate had gone into the house to make Sara a cup of tea. Sara looked at her watch, it was 2.55 in the morning. "Sara... are you sleeping?" asked Tegan loudly and gave a hiccup. "No... are you drunk?" asked Sara laughing. "Well... mmmm... no... maybe a little" said Tegan and plonked down next to Sara on the recliner. She put her arm around Sara. "Tegan... I'm so fucking proud of you" said Sara. "I'm prouder of you" said Tegan. "We've come a long way right" said Sara. "Yeah and we haven't killed each other yet" laughed Tegan. "It's all kind of unreal" said Sara. "Oh it's real Sara... It's real. First the Oscar, then the Grammy... no Grammys, many, and then the wooooorld" said Tegan and jumped up with her arms in the air. She jumped onto a chair and climbed up onto a table and started dancing like a dork to the music coming out of the house. "Oscar baby, you golden good thing" she yelled, clearly drunk as a skunk. "Tegan get down from there" said Sara. "Oh come on, pregnancy is making you boooooring" laughed Tegan and continued dancing.
"Tegan! For fuck sakes get down from there. I'm not stitching you up if you crack your noggin falling down" said Kate walking up to them holding two cups. She shook her head and turned to Sara. "Hold this" she said. "Come on party animal... get down from there" said Kate and held her hand out to Tegan. Tegan stopped dancing abruptly and got down with Kate's help. "Kate... my friend Katy" she said. Kate smiled trying to stifle a laugh. "You're clearly not drinking fit anymore" said Kate shaking her head. "I love you... for loving my sister... and Kate... I love you for fixing me up. And I love you Sara for not quitting the band all those years ago" said Tegan and burst out into tears. "Oh dear... first the euphoria and then the drunk tears" said Sara shaking her head laughing. "Okay buddy... let's get you to bed" said Kate with her arm around Tegan. "I'm not going to bed yet" said Tegan, the tears suddenly gone. "Okay... you don't have to go to bed but you're not drinking any more... you're not what you used to be physically yet superstar" said Kate.
Kate and Sara led Tegan into the living room where the music had finally been turned down a bit. The gang was sitting on the couches chatting about the events of the night. Tegan sat down next to Lindsey who was clearly not nearly as drunk as her. "Heeeey hottie" slurred Tegan. "Hey superstar" laughed Lindsey. Tegan half climbed over Lindsey and kissed her. "Whoa easy tiger" laughed Lindsey. Tegan pulled away and looked at her face and smiled. "I love you" she whispered and went in for another kiss. A few seconds later Lindsey felt Tegan stop kissing, her lips still on hers. She felt her body go limp and her head fall onto her shoulder. "Tegan!" she said loudly.
Kate got up and helped her put Tegan back on a pillow. "Kate is she okay? Oh my god she just stopped moving suddenly... Is she okay? Is she breathing?" yelled Lindsey in a panic. "Calm down Linds... she's okay... she's just drunk" said Kate with her fingers on Tegan's pulse in her neck. "Are you sure?" asked Lindsey. "I'm sure... let's get her to bed. I'll put her on an IV for a few hours, should help her feel less shitty tomorrow morning" said Kate. "An IV... Kate is she sick?" asked Sara sitting forward. "Noooo, she's fine. It's just going to help get the toxins out of her body faster. Help re-hydrate her, get some nutrients back into her. Trust me, medical students go out binge drinking all the time and still manage to make it to work the next morning with the help of a trusty IV" said Kate. "Well fuck, why didn't you tell us about this long ago" said Sara laughing. "Can I have one?" slurred Alex. "Sure... if you go to bed now" said Kate. "I take it we're sleeping over then" said Sara sounding tired. "Yeah, if it's okay with you. Or I can just come and remove the IV early tomorrow" said Kate. "No... It's fine. I want you to be here... in case" said Sara. Erin had passed out on Alex's lap a while ago and was drooling away peacefully. "I'll carry my princess to bed... thank god we have a nanny sleeping over tonight" said Alex. "Are you nuts... you'll drop her like a sack of potatoes" said Kate not amused by everybody's drunken antics anymore. "I'll go get one of the security guys to carry these two" said Sara. Lindsey wasn't feeling too steady on her feet and stumbled around in the bathroom trying to get undressed. She puked into the toilet and washed her face. She got back into the room having miraculously gotten into the t-shirt Kate gave her. Kate and Sara had already removed Tegan's clothes and Kate was finishing up with Tegan's IV. She taped it to the wall before listening to Tegan's chest with her stethoscope. "Why are you doing that... is she okay?" asked Lindsey. "She's fine... just making sure" said Kate putting away her equipment. Lindsey lay down on the pillows. "You better get some rescue remedy too" said Kate and took out another IV bag. "I see you came prepared" laughed Sara. "Yup... I had a feeling this one could turn out nasty" laughed Kate.
"Kate... thanks for taking care of these clowns" laughed Sara lying in Kate's arms after Kate put everyone to bed with some fluids. "You're welcome" said Kate. "I remember that time you gave me one of these" said Sara. "Oh you had more than one of these that night" laughed Kate. "Okay rub it in" said Sara. "You were quite a handful that day" said Kate. "Still felt like shit the next day by the way... IVs or not" said Sara. "Can you imagine how you would have felt without it" said Kate. "Shudder to think" said Sara. "Get some rest now... you've had a really long day" said Kate. "Okay" whispered Sara. "And tomorrow I want you off your feet. You can answer the hundreds of requests for interviews from bed" said Kate. "No complaints there" said Sara drowsily. "What a day huh" said Sara after a few seconds of silence. "Yeah... incredibly day... I'm so proud of you Sara" said Kate and kissed Sara's head.
"Fuck" said Tegan sitting up holding her head. The light coming in through the gap in the curtains blinding her eyes. Lindsey mumbled something next to her. She looked at the IV line in her hand. "What the?" she grunted and yanked the empty bag from the wall to go to the toilet. She walked back into the room after a dizzy spell on the toilet and pulled the covers up to her ears. "Morning sunshine" she heard after what felt like a few minutes but was in reality a few hours. "Kate... fuck off" she mumbled under the covers. "It's 11am sleepy heads. Come on get up... Sara and I are making a nice greasy breakfast and your babysitters and kids are coming over with some fresh clothes" said Kate. "Oh fuck... are they okay?" said Tegan sitting up. "Yeah, they're having a blast. Come on let's get this cannula out of you" said Kate taking Tegan's hand. "Kate... was I just drunk or did we win an Oscar?" asked Tegan seriously. "What? You were obviously drunk... an Oscar? Seriously Tegan... you need to drink less" said Kate. "Oh" said Tegan sounding disappointed. Kate burst out laughing. "Yes silly... you won an Oscar" she said. "Fucking excellent" said Tegan smiling. "Well I take it you're not feeling too shitty" said Kate. "Feeling a lot better suddenly knowing I have an Oscar" smiled Tegan. "All done" said Kate patting Tegan's hand. "Where is it? Oh shit did I lose my Oscar?" said Tegan sounding panicked. "I don't know... where did you last have it? Hope you didn't forget it somewhere" said Kate. "Um... I don't know... shit... I need to find it" said Tegan getting up. "Relax... it's in the kitchen" laughed Kate. "You're just having a ball with this aren't you Doctor Goody Two Shoes Fresh as a daisy..." said Tegan rolling her eyes. "Hey I didn't pour that champaign down your throat" laughed Kate.
"Monkeys!" yelled Tegan when she saw her babies as she walked into the living room, her hair still wet from her shower. "Hey superstar" said Sonia and hugged Tegan hello. Tegan hugged Jeremy and Jonathan and blushed as they congratulated her on the big win. "Thanks" she smiled. She picked up Casey and held her in the air. "Where's mommy's little princess... were you a good girl for grandma and your uncles?" asked Tegan. "She was such a good girl... I believe the same can't be said about her mommy" laughed Jeremy. Tegan gave Sara and Kate a dirty look. "You just couldn't wait to share could you" said Tegan. "Oh relax. You deserved a big night after all the shit you've been through in the last year" said Sara. "I'm getting old... can't handle a few drinks anymore" said Tegan. "You're not getting old... you just haven't been drinking for a while. You're all a bunch of light weights these days" said Kate. "Yeah and I probably won't be drinking again soon" said Tegan shaking her head. Erin and Alex emerged a while later also looking a bit fragile but happily fussing around their little Leah.
"Thanks for the juice last night sis. I'm sure we'd be feeling a lot rougher if you weren't here to take care of us" said Alex at the breakfast table. "No problem. Just so we're clear, this only happens when somebody wins an Oscar okay" said Kate. "Or a Grammy" said Tegan between bites of scrambled eggs and bacon. "Okay, deal" winked Kate. "I'm glad to see you have your confidence back" said Sonia. Tegan just smiled and took a large gulp of orange juice.
A/N: A long, happy chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! Love hearing from you!