Chapter 169
"Hey Tee" said Sara "Morning Sar, you still cool with going away for the weekend? It's okay if you want to cancel, you must be tired" said Tegan walking into Sara's kitchen. "Nah I'm good, had a scan yesterday and it seems as if this little girl is still very comfy in there. Everything is ready and waiting for her so we'll just be bored alone at home this weekend if we don't go. I won't mind putting my feet up and relaxing for a day or two and I know it's not going to happen here" said Sara. "Okay, if you're cool with it" said Tegan. "Sure I am, and it's not that far away should anything happen. Big hospital fifteen minutes away too" said Sara. "Okay, your fiancé is a doctor after all" said Tegan. "Oh no no! When it comes to this baby she's just my partner, not my doctor. She's not doing anything down there" said Sara. "Anything?" laughed Tegan. "Shut up, you know what I mean" said Sara blushing.
"Anyway, if you're sure you're good with going, I'm going to go pick up my fam and meet you there" said Tegan. "I'm sure! I don't want pregnancy and eventually having a baby change our lifestyles too much" said Sara. Tegan laughed so much that sip of coffee she took came flying out of her mouth. She coughed a couple of times with her hand in the air. "You okay?" asked Sara. "Yeah sorry, just found that lifestyle comment a bit amusing" said Tegan. "What?" said Sara. "Sara… how do I put this? The day that little baby is born, everything changes. Everything" said Tegan. "Uh huh… that's why we better go away for the weekend while we still can right" said Sara laughing off Tegan's comments. "I'm not saying you won't be able to go away for the weekend I'm just saying that it's a bit…. Well it's a bit more work to go away" laughed Tegan. "How difficult can it be?" said Sara. "It took us the best part of three hours to get everything packed and into the car this morning. So I'm glad you're not cancelling because if you did we would have gone to the Holiday Inn in Santa Monica or something. We didn't go through all that packing for nothing" said Tegan. "Good thing you bought Lindsey that new SUV for her birthday then" said Sara. "Yeah, maybe one day she'll let me drive it" said Tegan. "She won't let you drive it? You've had your licence for a while now" said Sara. "I know! She sends me out with the old car all the time" said Tegan. "Well, there's nothing wrong with the car and she does trust you with her babies in there so I'm sure you're an okay driver" said Sara. "Now that you put it that way" said Tegan smiling. "Just buy yourself one too" said Sara. "No, we have two cars already. As you said, there's nothing wrong with Lindsey's old car. We don't need another new car" said Tegan. "As frugal as ever I see" said Sara. "Need to think of the future Sara" said Tegan. "Tee, I'm sure a new car is not going to break the bank" said Sara. "Just because we're doing really well financially now doesn't mean we should spend like maniacs" said Tegan. "Meh, I'm going to marry a rich paediatric surgeon. I'm so buying a nice car" joked Sara. "You just need to learn how to drive first" said Tegan. "Who's learning to drive?" said Kate entering the kitchen looking groggy after her morning nap following a night shift. "Sara" said Tegan quickly. "Or maybe I'll just get a driver" said Sara and winked. "I'll drive you hot stuff" said Kate and stoke her hand over Sara's bum before taking a bite of her apple.
Sara, Kate, Tegan, Lindsey and the babies arrived at the lake cabin a few hours later and Kate helped Tegan unpack the stuffed to capacity SUV. "Boy you do have a lot of stuff for a two night stay" said Kate. "Tell me about it. If the kids ever go on tour with us they're going to need their own tour bus" sighed Tegan. "Don't want to think about that yet" said Kate. "But… you guys have discussed it haven't you?" asked Tegan. "Yeah, we've discussed it" said Kate. "And? Is there a problem?" asked Tegan. "And… it's our business Tegan" said Kate. "Sorry… just curious you know. I'm half of the band so it kind of is my business. It involves my future too you know" said Tegan and pulled out her inhaler for a quick puff. "Tegan… just relax for crying out loud. Your future is perfectly intact" said Kate shaking her head. "Okay cool" said Tegan and gave a cough. "You okay there?" asked Kate looking concerned. "I'm perfectly fine thanks" said Tegan and grabbed another bag. "You sure?" said Kate. "For fuck sakes Kate…. I'm fine, stop babying me! Just wait a couple of weeks and you'll have a real one" said Tegan loudly. Kate put both her hands in the air. "Excuse me for caring" she said. Tegan just shook her head and kept walking.
"What's with you and Tegan?" Sara asked Kate after dinner when Tegan and Lindsey went to check on the babies sleeping in the cabin. "Nothing" said Kate staring into the fire. "Really? Doesn't look like nothing. You two have been snapping at each other all day" said Sara. "Sara it's nothing, really. Look… Tegan has it in her mind that I'm not going to want you to ever go on tour with the baby" said Kate. "Well you did indicate that you're not very happy about it" said Sara. "I don't have to be happy with everything that happens… I just have to make peace with it. I'll just have to take some time off and come with you on tour. I understand it's something you have to do, it's part of your job and I understand that you won't want to be away from the bambino for that long. You don't have anything to worry about. Can we not spoil the evening by discussing this now… " said Kate. "So why's Tegan on edge then?" said Sara. "I have no idea… she seems to just be in one or her moods today" said Kate. "Really… seems like there's two moody people today then" said Sara. "Sara just drop it" said Kate and threw another log into the fire.
"So, you guys nervous?" said Lindsey when she and Tegan joined Sara and Kate next to the fire outside. "Yeah" said both Sara and Kate in unison and laughed nervously. "Really, I didn't think you would get nervous about something like this Kate" said Tegan. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kate defensively. "Nothing, just that you're always so calm, cool and in control. Like nothing ever has the power to unnerve you" said Tegan. "Well that's an illusion if ever there was one" said Kate sounding annoyed. "Sorry K-dawg. Didn't mean to upset you, that was a compliment" said Tegan. "I'm sorry… don't know what's gotten into me today" said Kate. "Maybe you should go to bed sweetie. You've only had a couple of hours sleep this morning after your night shift" said Sara. "I'm fine" mumbled Kate. "Kate it's okay if…" said Sara before being cut off by Kate. "I'll sleep in tomorrow okay. Can I just enjoy the fresh air and the fire and this glass of wine please" she snapped. "Whatever" said Sara rolling her eyes. Tegan shifted around in her chair awkwardly.
"I'll go get dessert" said Kate and got up a few minutes later. "Wait for me, potty break… the hundredth time today" said Sara. "Holy crap what's with those two?" said Lindsey to Tegan. "Beats me… I think they're both just nervous and on edge" said Tegan. "One of the perks of having premies, not having the time to think about it too much and be nervous right" said Lindsey. "I was nervous as hell from the start" said Tegan. "Me too, but I think the last month is just torture" laughed Lindsey and lay back in Tegan's arms. "I love you" said Tegan and kissed Lindsey's hair. "I love you too… so much" said Lindsey. "Maybe we can do a bit of a photo shoot tomorrow. Of all four of us you know" said Tegan. "Sure, Kate and Sara are both quite handy with cameras, maybe it will take their minds off things" said Lindsey. "Yeah, anyway it's not hard to take a good photo of the most beautiful babies in the world and their gorgeous mom" said Tegan. "Talking about yourself again Tegan?" joked Lindsey. "Of course" Tegan played along. "All this fresh air made the kids tired" said Tegan. "Yeah, let's hope they sleep through. Kate looks as if she needs a night of undisturbed sleep" said Lindsey. "Oh man, now I'm worried they're going to wake her up tonight" said Tegan. "Should I offer to do a preggie shoot for them tomorrow?" asked Lindsey. "Uh... sure but you know Sara's not going to strip down don't you. She hardly ever show her arms never mind anything else" said Tegan rolling her eyes.
"Hey what are you talking about?" asked Sara sitting down after her bathroom break. "We were just saying that we hope the babies don't wake you guys up tonight" said Tegan. "It's fine, really it is. I'm used to noise trying to sleep in the on call room" said Kate. "We'll try our best to keep them quiet" said Tegan. "I said it's not a problem Tegan" said Kate. "Here we go again" said Sara rolling her eyes. "What?" said Kate. "Can you to chill the fuck out" said Sara. "We're chilled" said Tegan with her hands in the air. "I'm sorry baby" said Kate softly. "It's okay... just try and relax now" said Sara and put her head on Kate's shoulder. "I'll take some photos of you guys tomorrow if you want to" said Lindsey. "Oh thanks Linds, that sounds great" said Kate. "With clothes" said Sara. Tegan smiled at Lindsey remembering their own very sexy and sensual preggie shoot. "Sure Sar, whatever you're comfortable with" said Lindsey.
An hour or so later Sara was really struggling to keep her eyes open. Some cries escaped the baby monitor. "Excuse me guys, it's feeding time and after that I'm going to hit the sack. Those two monkeys are going to have us up and about at the crack of dawn" said Lindsey. "I'll help" said Tegan. "I'm fine Tee, I'll give you a shout if I need you" said Lindsey. "You sure?" asked Tegan. "Hundred percent. Relax" said Lindsey and gave Tegan a kiss. "I'm also going to bed guys. I'm finished" said Sara. "Sure sweetie" said Kate and got up. "No no, you stay and have a nightcap with Tegan" said Sara. "Uh... okay" said Kate and kissed Sara goodnight.
Tegan wordlessly poured Kate another glass of red wine. "You think they're ganging up on us?" said Kate dryly. "Probably" said Tegan and sat back down. Both girls stared into the fire in silence for a few minutes. "I'm sorry I was so on edge today Tegan" said Kate. "I'm just nervous and moody and I'm trying not to take it out on Sara. Guess you were next in the firing line" she continued. "Don't worry about it. We all get our off days. Anyway, I was no angel today either. Sorry" said Tegan. "At least we don't take each other too seriously right" said Kate with a half smile. Tegan smiled and nodded.
"You want to talk about what's really bothering you?" asked Tegan. "I don't know" said Kate and stayed quiet for a minute. Tegan didn't push her any further. "It's just that... this baby... I'm scared that... that I won't have a connection with her" said Kate. "What do you mean?" asked Tegan perplexed. "Your kids... I mean... they're you're biological kids, your DNA and Lindsey carried them, gave birth to them you know" said Kate. "Yeah, so?" said Tegan. "So, this baby... It's Sara's baby... Sara and some anonymous sperm donor... she's carrying it... she'll be giving birth to it and I'm just... there... of no real significance... with or without me this baby would still be there" said Kate becoming emotional.
"Katy... buddy, I don't think it works that way" said Tegan. Kate just shook her head and stared into the fire. "This baby wouldn't be a reality if not for you" said Tegan. "Yeah right" said Kate and played with the rim of her wineglass. "This baby was made because the two of you love each other so much. Katy you need to understand that this baby is as much yours as it is Sara's" said Tegan. Kate gave a stifled sob. "It's not about who carries the baby, or how it's made... or who gives birth to it. It's all about who loves that baby, who's a parent to that child. You're going to be the legal parent on that birth certificate" said Tegan. Kate just nodded. "And I can think of nobody else that would be a more competent, dedicated, loving parent than you Kate" said Tegan sincerely. Kate burst out into tears. "Hey hey, it's okay... everything's fine. You're going to be a great mom" said Tegan with her hand on Kate's back. "I know, it's silly... I'm being a selfish brat" said Kate. "No you're not. You're not being silly or selfish" said Tegan.
"What if I suck at being a parent" said Kate. "Are you fucking kidding me. You're one of the most emotionally stable, mature, loving, not to mention responsible people I've ever met. And hey, it's a bonus that you're a paediatrician, really will cut down on doctor's bills" laughed Tegan. Kate shook her head. "I guess" she laughed. "You and Sara... your love is so special, so beautiful. I've never seen Sara happier. And I've never seen you happier. That's all it takes you know, love... You're an amazing couple. This kid could not have asked for better parents. She's a lucky, lucky girl" said Tegan softly. Kate stared into the fire for a minute, lost in thought. "Thank you Tegan... You're an amazing friend" said Kate. "No thank you, for being in my life... and for making my sister so incredibly happy. I love you dude" said Tegan. "I love you too Tegan" said Kate and gave Tegan a long hug. "All good?" asked Tegan. "All good" Kate smiled. "Another vino?" asked Tegan. "Sure why not" said Kate and threw another log on the fire.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Please keep 'em coming!