A/N: I just spent the weekend in Tulsa and got to go inside The Outsiders House Museum! It was an absolutely incredible experience, I was like a child at a candy store, and I bought way too much stuff at the gift shop. In a couple of days I'll be taking another road trip to Minnesota to see family for a week. I'll bring my laptop and hope to find time to type, but just a fair warning in case y'all think I've ditched my stories if I don't update anything for some time. I haven't, I promise! I love you all :)

Steve got discharged a couple hours later. He was feeling a little better after getting some fluids, but he knew it'd be some time until he felt 100% again. Two-Bit never came back up, so they figured he had left, assuming Soda would bring Steve home just fine. As Soda and Steve walked out the main doors of the hospital, their suspicions were correct that Two-Bit left without saying a word. It made Steve feel like shit.

"You know how bad you have to mess up to make Two-Bit pissed enough to ditch you?" Steve commented as he sat in the passenger seat of Darry's truck, "I don't think I've ever heard of that from any of us."

"Well can you blame him?" Soda asked as he started the truck and began pulling out of the parking lot.

"No. It's not like I did all of this on purpose though. I didn't know I'd end up here."

"You've spent so much time, and I mean so much time helping us out and being there for me. You need to do stuff for you too," Soda said.

"You don't have to tell me that. Two-Bit has told me plenty of times. Even Dally has," Steve rolled his eyes.

"And look what happened?" Soda asked in a harsh tone, "You obviously didn't listen. Maybe me pushing it through your thick, stubborn ass skull will get you to listen. You can take care of me and Darry and yourself at the same time. You have to."

Steve looked over at his best friend. He knew Soda was on edge after Pony's funeral, and he was trying to be cautious of that instead of arguing back. "I'm sorry Soda. I really am. I already can't handle Two-Bit being mad at me, so I don't need you mad too."

Soda simply shrugged, "Well I kinda am." Steve turned away with disappointment and looked out the window. "So what did the doctor say you have to do?"

"Just take a pill each night like I'm suppose to do. He just warned me I may not feel the best, because my body has to get used to them again."

"I'm watching you take them," Soda said as he looked over at Steve, "You hear me? Every night I am watching you take one."

"I hear you," Steve watched as the truck drove into the neighborhood. He squeezed his eyes shut tight as he felt the threat of tears wanting to escape. Soda had no idea how hard it was going to be to take those pills.

"Do you want to go over to Soda's tonight?" Dally asked. Johnny looked up at him from across the booth. The two greasers sat inside the Tasty Freeze splitting a basket of fries and drinking shakes.

Johnny shrugged, "I don't know. I hate going over there."

"I know you do," Dally said in a low tone.

"Well it's not because I don't want to see the gang. Of course I want to see everyone. It's just...I hate giving off that I'm sad or upset or grieving. Darry and Soda are having it worse than me, and they don't need to see me like this and worry about me on top of everything," Johnny explained.

"Johnny they worry about you when you ain't there anyway. They wonder where you are and how you're doing. You not going over there is doing more than you not going over there. You dig?"

Johnny slowly nodded, "It's hard being in that house."

"I know. We can't just stay away forever though. We got to face it."

"Yeah. I'll think about it. Maybe tomorrow night."

"Alright," Dally said accepting the answer, "Want to go to the drive in or down to the tracks and watch some racing tonight then?"

"Sure."

Dally watched as the younger greaser sipped at his vanilla shake. He was worrying about Johnny, a lot. Johnny wasn't one to normally go out to big crowds, but he was living on it lately. He'd go to the stables to watch Dally ride, he'd go watch drag racing, Dally even caught him walking around downtown by himself a couple times. Dally could see it was a good distraction for Johnny, but he didn't want to see him turn into some of the other greasers.

"Damnit Steve, what were you thinking?" Darry barked. Steve and Soda sat on the living room couch as they told Darry what happened that day with Steve at the DX and the hospital.

"I didn't really think my body would react to me not taking pills on schedule," Steve sighed, "It's not like it's heart medication or some shit. It's just sleeping pills for God's sake!"

Darry sighed, "All the same Steve. Just use your head and take them. We really don't need anyone else stuck in a hospital."

Steve looked down, "I know." He still hadn't told Darry about how Soda tried to kill himself with the pills. No one could understand it. Only Two-Bit could, but even he couldn't make the flashbacks go away for Steve to take his pills peacefully. "I know you've had me stay here to help you guys and I messed that up."

"It's okay Steve," Darry said, "Just take them. Please."

"I will," Steve said in a low voice.

"Anyway, Soda I got to talk to you," Darry said.

"Me? What did I do?" Soda asked.

"You didn't do anything you knucklehead."

Steve looked over at his best friend, "You're the only little brother here and I still got in trouble instead of you."

Soda was still mad at Steve, but a small smile cracked up at the jokingly comment. "Shut up."

Steve smiled back, "There we go. I'll go have a smoke while you guys talk."

"I appreciate it Steve," Darry said as Steve got off the couch and headed outside.

"No problem Superman."

Steve closed the door behind him and grabbed his cigarettes out of his pocket. He lit up and took a deep inhale. He was still feeling cruddy from the day. According to the doctor, he was going to feel that way for a bit. He didn't know how to handle the flashbacks though. Every time he held a pill and looked at it, it brought him straight back to seeing Soda in the bathroom holding the bottle. It brought him back to Soda screaming about the cap being stuck, and then screaming no at Steve for fighting him back. It brought him back to him holding his best friend on the floor, crying together, praying. There wasn't anything else Steve could do for his sleeping disorder, the doctor had made that quite clear as there wasn't much research into the disorder yet. It pissed Steve off. He had to deal with it all and just hope it would pass.

He couldn't tell Darry about Soda with his pills. Darry had enough going on, and so did Soda. Steve just had to handle it on his own.

"Damnit," Steve said as he took steps down the porch, heading to walk down the street.

Darry took a seat in his armchair and faced Soda on the couch. "What's going on?" Soda asked leaning his head back to look at the ceiling, "I can't take anymore bad news right now."

"It's not really bad news," Darry said, "It's...just news. I'm not sure how you'll react to it, but my intentions are good."

"Intentions?" Soda asked looking back at Darry, "Intentions for what?"

Darry sighed, "We've lost three of our family members. Mom, dad, and now Ponyboy. It's been hard being in this house with it all. I never really got over mom and dad, you know? I still feel them here in this house. And now upstairs I feel all three of them a lot, especially now that you are in your old bedroom again."

Soda nodded, unsure where Darry was going with this, "I never got over mom and dad either. I always expect them to show up here. Sometimes I think I hear them. Things happen I still go through a moment where I want to run Dad and tell him some stupid shenanigan I got into and to not tell mom about it. Then...I remember I can't. Sometimes I tell Steve something funny I did when bored, but I don't see Steve. I completely picture Dad sitting there and laughing about it."

"Yeah," Darry nodded, "I expect them to show up all the time too. Especially if I have a dream about them, I wake up and it takes me a minute to remember."

"That's happened to me every night so far with Pony," Soda admitted.

"Really? Are they nightmares like Pony use to have?"

"No, not really. They're just memories I seem to have, but in a dream form."

Darry nodded, "That's good. Anyway, it's just getting especially hard for me to be here after it all."

"So what are you wanting to do?"

"Well," Darry looked down, "I've been thinking about this for awhile now. Hell, I thought about it a little before I even came home from the hospital. The doctor told me what was going to happen to Pony, so I had to...I couldn't...I just began thinking about the future. I had to. Then Pony passed, the funeral, everything. I think I want the right thing here."

"Well hell Darry spit it out already," Soda sat himself up as he became impatient.

Steve lazily knocked on the front door of the Mathews' house. He was starting to regret walking over there to confront Two-Bit, but he knew he had to do this.

"Well hi Steve," Mrs. Mathews smiled.

"Hi Mrs. Mathews," Steve greeted.

"How are things with you?"

"They're fine."

"Good. How are Darry and Sodapop doing?" Mrs. Mathews asked with a soothing tone.

"They're getting by," Steve answered.

"I didn't want to say much to them at the funeral. It was too hard for them I know. I need to bring them a nice dinner sometime. Keith told me you were staying there and helping them out, so could you tell Darry to give me a call on a night I can bring them some food? Or they are welcome to come eat here, and you are too of course. Whenever he's ready," Mrs. Mathews said.

"Yeah, I'll let him know. Thank you," Steve nodded with a grin.

"Your dad actually stopped by here."

"What for?" Steve asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Mrs. Mathews shook her head as she rolled her eyes, "Oh you know, he came by for some coffee and we were talking about Ponyboy and all of them. He asked me if I knew how you were doing over there, and I say to him 'Well, why don't you go over there and ask your son yourself?' I don't know why your father acts so shameful about acting like a dad. It's like it embarrasses him."

"Maybe I'll have to go home and check in," Steve shrugged, "Hopefully it's a day he cares to ask how I am and not just be an angry drunk that I came home."

Mrs. Mathews smiled and grabbed Steve's hand, "I know honey. Thankfully Keith wasn't home when he stopped by, he sure isn't afraid to speak his mind at some of his friend's parents."

"No he ain't," Steve shook his head, "Speaking of your son, is he home?"

"Yes he is," Mrs. Mathews opened the door wider to let Steve walk inside, "He's up in his room. He seemed a little upset when he came home, so I haven't heard from him much."

"Oh," Steve said, "Well, I'll go see what he's doing up there."

"Alright sweetie, go on ahead."

Steve walked upstairs and saw Two-Bit's bedroom door was closed. He didn't bother knocking as he turned the knob and swung the door open. "Hey," Steve said as he walked inside the room, closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Two-Bit asked. He sat in a chair and tossed a baseball up in the air and catching it.

"I came to say I'm sorry," Steve shrugged, "It's not like I did all of this on purpose."

"You made me a promise," Two-Bit said as he tossed the baseball up in the air.

"I know, I know. It's hard...I can't keep seeing what Soda tried to do with them," Steve bit his lip, "That's all the problem is. I want to take them, but I keep seeing it..."

Two-Bit caught the ball and held onto it, looking at Steve, "I know Steve. I get that, but that doesn't mean you just stop and give up. You're going to need to face it and try to get through it."

Steve looked down at the floor.

"Maybe you need to go talk to someone about it," Two-Bit suggested.

"No," Steve shook his head, "Soda and Darry have worse problems than me. I'm not about to go whine and get help if they don't need it."

Two-Bit rolled his eyes and continued throwing the ball up, "Well you may not have a choice if I make you."

Steve stepped forward and caught the baseball midair, "Make me?"

"Yes," Two-Bit stood up and grabbed Steve, shoving him onto the bed, "I can make you do whatever I want. I'm an adult, you're a minor."

Steve smirked, "I'm pretty sure I'm more adult than you."

Two-Bit laughed as he grabbed the baseball from Steve's hand.

"Are we fine now?"

Two-Bit nodded, "Yeah. I ain't letting you mess up anymore though."

"Don't worry, Soda will be keeping a sharp eye on me."

"Good," Two-Bit reached a hand out and helped Steve to his feet.

"Want to walk with me back over to Soda's? They don't even know I left. Darry was going to talk to Soda about something."

"Sure I'll come with. What was Darry going to talk to him about?" Two-Bit asked, grabbing his boots to put on.

"I'm not sure."

"I want to put the house up," Darry blurted out.

"Put the house up?" Soda asked.

"For sale," Darry said.

Soda slowly turned his head towards the floor, not believing what he was hearing. He felt his heart drop. Sell the house? They grew up in that house. It held the only memories they would ever have of their parents and younger brother. Soda didn't understand. How could Darry want to leave it all behind?

"Listen Soda, half the rooms upstairs aren't being used. They are too difficult to even walk into. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been in mom and dad's room since their death, and those times were way back to when they first died. You'll never go in Pony's room again, I can almost guarantee that," Darry explained.

"We...grew up here," Soda said quietly.

"It's just so many painful memories," Darry sighed, "I'm throwing in the towel little buddy. I can't do it anymore. It was hard to do when mom and dad died, but you and Pony made it easier to get through, especially knowing you guys were probably going through the same thing. Now Ponyboy is gone...it's too much. We need a fresh start. I'm making more money now, or I'm about to anyway. We can get a nicer place."

"I don't care how nice the house is," Soda argued.

"Soda," Darry said, "Look at me please."

Soda looked up and could see the plea in his older brother's eyes.

"I can't stay here," Darry held the tears back as hard as he could, "It's too much to handle. I need to move on. It won't be easy for me to leave this house for good, but I have to. It'll be good for us. I know you won't see that now, but it will be."

Soda shook his head. He couldn't think of any words to say. He didn't want to leave this house. He couldn't leave this house. He couldn't abandon his little brother like that.

"Darry, we just buried our little brother and now you want to leave?" Soda asked.

"We wouldn't be going far Soda," Darry sighed, "I just need a different house, a different atmosphere, a different space."

"I'm not going," Soda shook his head.

"Soda, I know it's a scary idea..."

"I'm not leaving this house Darry!" Soda yelled, shooting up from the couch and running out the door.