OK! I thought this chapter would never be done, but here it is! Let me know what you think - even if it's just a line!
A fortnight later, and it was a bright and blustery June day as the Akatsuki crowd prepared to say a final goodbye to one of their longest standing members. Konan, at Akatsuki Gallery, was putting the final touches to the display of his work that would be shown that afternoon, at a reception following the funeral. It was almost a preview for the retrospective that was scheduled to take place in August, which would span three galleries and put on display pieces that had never before left the studio. She'd taken the bold choice to leave what was left of Deidara's exhibition in place alongside the new display. Most of them had degraded to some degree, some quite extremely; a few were no more than scorch marks on the floor or walls. There was a poignant sense of the desolation left behind by a sudden loss; a sharp contrast between the volatile and the now forever unchanging. She hoped it wasn't too much.
She wanted to go already, but she was waiting to hear from Yahiko, who was with Nagato at the Piccadilly penthouse. Last week Nagato had very nearly made the decision to make a rare public appearance and attend the funeral, but now, she thought it was unlikely. She couldn't even quite decide whether she wanted him to or not, and in a rare moment of weakness she sat down at her desk and let her head drop into her hand a moment. Distraction! she thought to herself sternly. Do something useful. You can't go down this path. Maybe she'd chase up some of the pieces she wanted for Sasori's retrospective, she thought, and decided to make a few phone calls to pass the time.
At the Royal London Hospital, Deidara was finally being discharged. Kabuto was worried. He was doing his best to explain to him about the regime of medications that he was going to need to take, and not at all sure that he was taking in any of it at all. There had been complications - after they'd broken the news about Sasori on the day after the accident he'd required more surgery for a minor subdural haematoma. It went some way towards explaining his erratic behaviour and violent mood swings - the early suspicions about brain trauma had been correct after all. They'd caught it early, thanks to Kimimaro being there to spot the symptoms, and there was no justification for keeping him in hospital any longer. Deidara certainly wasn't keen to stay. But he was going to need emotional and physical support that he wasn't really allowing anyone to give him.
One positive was that he had allowed Kakuzu to visit him during the last week. Kabuto really hoped that that meant he might agree to spend a few weeks with Kakuzu and Hidan after the funeral. And although Kakuzu was perhaps not the most emotionally forthcoming - and Hidan certainly not the most emotionally stable - at the very least they were fond of Deidara and Kakuzu was well qualified to keep an eye on any health issues that might come up. It was the best option available as far as Kabuto could see, and since he'd offered to accompany Deidara to the funeral he decided he'd better have a word with Kakuzu about it there.
Tobi and Zetsu had met up in the morning and had been mooching around aimlessly for a few hours. Now they were sitting in a sports bar in Highgate, watching the early rounds of the tennis at Queens and drinking orange juice while they waited for Sasuke to show up. Tobi had called him half an hour ago. He was in an antsy mood, talking incessantly; arranging and rearranging a series of black and white photographs he'd laid out on top of the bar. Zetsu wasn't paying a lot of attention; he was off his meds and also pretty high. He picked up a strange shot, some kind of bridge perhaps, a flock of birds changing direction, all a quite out of focus apart from one patch of waves where you could see the foam and spray leaping up dramatically. Tobi snatched it back. "That one's important!" he said; then added mysteriously, 'well, they all are!" He picked up another one, a young man with an incongruously bright smile standing in from of a huge and sinister sculpture; looming and vaguely humanoid. "See the resemblance?" he asked holding it up beside his face.
"Mm," Zetsu agreed, drawing circles with a fingertip in a small spill on the polished wood. "More like you than Itachi, isn't he?"
"Much more." Tobi agreed. "Much, much more!" He gathered up the photos. "These are for Sasuke now," he declared. "I hope he'll put them to good use - Itachi wouldn't do it. It'll be interesting to see, no? He should be here soon."
Over in Hampstead, Kisame leant on his kitchen table and watched Itachi nursing a herbal tea and trying to stifle a cough that sounded ten times worse than the previous day. They were due to be at the funeral in half an hour and they'd arranged to walk there across the Heath with Hidan and Kakuzu. But that was clearly not going to be happening.
"Itachi…" he said, though he knew it was hopeless to try and persuade him when his mind was made up. "You're not well enough for this."
"I'll be fine," Itachi said. And coughed. And coughed again.
"Well, we're driving there, then."
"Not in your van," Itachi said darkly.
"Well, then I'm going to have to ask Kakuzu to take you." Kisame folded his arms, doing his best to look implacable and immovable and Itachi wrong-footed him with a graceful acquiescence.
"Fine," he said quietly. "Thanks, Kisame. Perhaps that would be for the best."
Across the road, pulling on the beautiful black ensemble that Yugito Nii had sent over that morning, Hidan heard the doorbell ring and hopped onto the landing to peer over the bannisters just as Kakuzu came out of the kitchen. He was on his mobile and still talking as he walked down the hall. "Of course, you can use anything from my collection," he was saying. "Anything at all. But I don't think you should count too much on co-operation from Deidara - he's-" He opened the door. "Alright. Can I call you back, Konan? Kisame's here."
"Sorry, Kisame," he said, slipping his phone into his pocket. "Konan's running into problems with the retrospective - the family won't release anything from his studio at all. Is it time to go already?"
"No, we've got a few minutes," Kisame said, with an anxious grin. "Can't Deidara make some kind of claim on it ? - wasn't there any recognition... of their... at all...?"
"The whole concept of a retrospective is anathema to Deidara," Kakuzu said. "He doesn't want us to do it at all." He felt bad, but there it was. A retrospective was happening whether any of them liked it or not, and they owed it to Sasori to make sure it was the best it could be. It would have meant a lot to him, Kakuzu knew that. What he felt much worse about was the fact that while he'd been sitting with Deidara in the hospital every lunchtime for the last week, arguing calmly with him about art and the event, and what constituted legacy, Deidara had continued to turn Hidan away. And although Hidan was sweet about it, and every day he'd ask him, 'Did you see Dei?' almost as soon as he was through the door, Kakuzu could tell how much it was upsetting him and messing with his head. Just as much as Deidara meant it to, probably.
Kisame nodded. "I guess that figures. Look, Kakuzu, I need a favour."
Despite being June, the wind was picking up and the day was getting overcast; moreover, there was a distinct possibility that there might be press photographers lurking behind the hedge - Kakuzu gestured Kisame inside and shut the door. "What can I do for you?" he asked.
"Itachi's not in a good way at all, but he's insisting on coming." Kisame said. "He's swearing he'll be alright but I really don't think the walk across the Heath is a good idea for him. And I think my van parked outside the chapel might actually be the last straw for Sasori's family so..." He looked hopefully at Kakuzu.
"Yes, I can take him up," Kakuzu agreed calmly. "We'll need to leave in good time though, if we're going to find a parking space right outside." He turned around. "Hidan, are you ready?" he called up the stairs.
"Yeah, yeah. Coming." Hidan hurried down the stairs, buttoning up his shirt as he went.
"Oh hi, Hidan," Kisame called up to him, his expression brightening a little. "You look like a fucking wet dream - is this by your new client?"
"Huh? Do I? I didn't mean to look too flash..." Hidan paused to check himself out in the hall mirror. "Yeah, it's Yugito. I didn't have anything appropriate for a funeral and Sasori was so fucking particular... so she made this up for me. It's a lot fucking tamer than what I'll be wearing on Friday, I can tell you! Half of the collection's fucking electric blue leopard print...!"
"I don't know why you can't just wear a suit..." Kakuzu muttered, glancing over. He didn't like it when Kisame got so over-familiar with Hidan. He did look exquisite, though. The dense black made his complexion appear even more alabaster than usual and it was so beautifully cut that one could appreciate every slender line of him in a single lingering glance.
"I'd look like a fucking dweeb," Hidan protested. "Honest to God, Sasori used to tell me off if he thought I was looking too preppy..." He paused to brush a dog hair off his sleeve... "Or too scruffy... Or too flamboyant... Fuck, maybe he just liked telling me off..."
"And, I recall, if you left too many buttons undone!" Kakuzu stepped in front of him and did up another one. "That's better." He smoothed his collar down too, and let his hand rest there a moment. Knowing he was being absurdly territorial, but not quite able to help himself right now. "You don't look flash, love," he reassured him quietly; almost an apology - for exposing him to Kisame's crass comments and for his own grouchiness, "you're perfect." He caught a glimpse of them together in the mirror as he turned to pick up his car keys, and, damn it, Sasori wouldn't have had any grounds for sartorial complaints. Kakuzu, as always, wore a suit like he'd been born in it and Hidan's more contemporary silhouette was the perfect counterpoint. He could just imagine Sasori's satisfied nod of approval and felt, again, that little aching stab of loss that had become a familiar punctuation of his thoughts over the last two weeks. He sighed.
"I'm sorry to do you out of your walk, guys." Kisame watched them with a half smile. He probably wasn't going to be the only one this afternoon to find their all too obvious devotion distinctly bittersweet.
Kakuzu shrugged. "It's due to rain later, anyway," he said, picking up a large golfing umbrella from the hall stand and handing Hidan his leather jacket. "We'd better make a move."
"I won't need-" Hidan began.
Kakuzu's tone allowed for no dissent. "Take it."
The funeral service was held in the chapel at Highgate Cemetery, and it was for Chiyo as well as Sasori. The family had been adamant that they should be buried together, beside the grave of his parents - Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law - who'd died when he was a child. And, Sasori having never made a will, a Great-Uncle he hadn't spoken to for decades was his next of kin. Deidara was swept out of the picture entirely. They'd wanted to hold it a week earlier, as well, when there was no chance of Deidara being out of the hospital and it was only after massive pressure from the Akatsuki Group, threats from Kakuzu not to release important pieces of Chiyo's for the retrospective, and finally a decision that they needed to do the decent thing from Gaara - who seemed to hold an awful lot of sway - that it wasn't a closed family affair.
In the chapel, the combined Suna clan had blocked out the front rows of pews all the same. Gaara had offered his seat to Deidara, but Dei had declined.
"Sasori wanted a humanist ceremony," he'd said, his voice carrying in the echoing building. "He was an atheist; he didn't believe in organised religion. So, no, hn. I think I'll be closer to him at the back."
After the short service - which had been very much centred around Chiyo - the two coffins were brought by hearse around to the burial site while the mourners climbed a short flight of steps through an arched colonnade and came up by a steeper winding path under mature trees. It was only a short walk and they soon emerged into a little meadow-like clearing; Hidan squinted up into the miserable drizzle and sighed. It was fucking horrible now, and judging by the yellowish grey colour of the sky, things weren't going to be improving any time soon. He was pretty glad Kakuzu had made him bring a jacket.
Shit, this is all weird as fuck, he thought as the small group of them who were there for Sasori surged forward to reach his coffin before a group of Suna cousins could. He shifted his grip on the uncomfortably ornate brass coffin handle - the style of which would have had Sasori turning in his grave if he'd been in it yet. Admittedly, he didn't have very much funereal experience to draw on, but surely this Montague and Capulet-esque division between the two groups of mourners couldn't be the norm. The chapel had been crowded, so it hadn't been so obvious inside, but as they'd all emerged into the cemetery grounds the groups had immediately polarised.
They carried the coffin the short distance from the hearse to the open grave and the family stepped forward to scatter in earth and rose petals. Sasori's parents were buried between the two new graves. A very stylised, almost Henry Moore-esque sandstone sculpture of an embracing couple stood over them. Sasori had always hated it.
The drizzle was quickly turning into driving rain. Sheltering under Kakuzu's large black umbrella, Hidan observed the crowd with some interest. There were quite a lot of people there, considering how reclusive both Chiyo and Sasori had been. Former students, fellow artists, dealers. Hidan noticed Zabuza Momochi talking to Kisame. He knew him by sight, of course, though they'd never spoken. One of the most famous artists of his generation; the most successful of the YBAs. Always striving to be outrageous, though people were saying that his work was getting a bit generic and he was mostly re-hashing old ideas now. As well as most of the actual work being done by his assistants... Zabuza saw him looking and gave him a nod. Hidan nodded back and looked away.
Kabuto was there, standing a little way apart - not clearly affiliated with either group, and he hadn't brought Orochimaru with him, thank fuck. From what Kakuzu said there were any number of people here who had bad blood with Orochimaru. He spotted the pink-haired girl who'd been driving the other car - he knew her by sight from his St Martin's life classes. She seemed to have a fair proportion of the student body with her too. And Sasori's family were a massive clan just by themselves. The three little cousins of whom Gaara was the youngest were the only ones Hidan recognised though.
And then Deidara, standing alone, white as a sheet, letting the rain fall on him, looking dazed and sick. Although the crowd was beginning to mingle now it seemed like no-one quite liked to approach him, to intrude on his all too obvious grief. But Hidan had never been one for social niceties. Although Deidara hadn't picked up a single one of his calls in the last two weeks, and every time he'd gone to the hospital during visiting hours the nurses had regretfully turned him away, he left Kakuzu's side and crossed over to him. "Dei, man," he said. "I'm so fucking sorry."
Deidara bit his bottom lip and grimaced as he tried to hold back a choking sob. "They thought - he was just some sugar daddy to me," he forced out, gesturing around him - his voice a wreck, shocking Hidan with its hoarseness. "But he wasn't, yeah. He fucking wasn't. You should know how it feels, they look at you the same." He turned glazed-looking blue eyes on Hidan, and they were scarily empty. A blank, hopeless gaze.
"Fuck, Dei," said Hidan. "I don't think they do think that. I think they're just arseholes." He glanced around. It seemed to him that the genuine rawness of Deidara's grief was obvious to everyone, whether they wanted to see it or not. "And if they do, fuck them, man! I know it wasn't like that." And it isn't fucking like that for me either, he wanted to add, but the words stuck in his throat. Dei wouldn't want to hear that now. He glanced over at Kakuzu, wishing he'd come over; almost immediately Kakuzu excused himself to Zabuza and started to move towards them.
"Dei, I know you've wanted to be alone, and I - I could respect that if it was doing you any good, but man... is it? Really? You look like shit, seriously."
"Yeah, hn," he gave a strange low laugh. "It's not. You're right. But would anything?" He held up a hand to stop Hidan as he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm ... sorry for what I said to you, man. And about not letting you visit me. I know it hurt you. I - I guess I meant it to."
"It doesn't fucking matter, Dei."
"I'm wasn't even really angry about ... what I said I was angry about ... anyway..."
"Be a dumb thing to be angry about, wouldn't it, really?"
"I ... guess I just wanted to lash out, and you are so fucking easy to hurt, Hidan ... You should watch out for that, you know. You get this wounded look in your eyes a person could get addicted to ..."
"What kind of Jashinist would I be if I couldn't take a bit of pain for you?" His hand went to his rosary. "Lash out all the fuck you want. Man, I mean it! If you need to I can take it!"
"Ah Hidan, just as fucking insane as ever!" Deidara gave a miserable-looking smile. "Some things don't fucking change, do they...? Honestly, though, I don't really want to, I don't know why I'm saying this shit to you, I'm not really any good for anyone right now. I honestly wish I could just ... disappear ..."
"Come home with us Dei." The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about it. The squat wasn't the right place for Dei right now, particularly when he was having thoughts like this. "Disappearing is a shit idea. Just ... give it a try for a while, at least?"
"Home? You mean Kakuzu's...?" Another weird laugh; Hidan's heart sank. He looked over at Kakuzu again - he'd been intercepted by Kabuto and seemed to be introducing him to Karin Uzumaki.
"Hn. You know. Sasori just.. his whole life just got ... snuffed out, like that." Deidara clicked his fingers, then let his hand fall limply to his side. "The way I felt about him didn't though. But still, there's nothing ... left ... of what was between us. It's just ... gone, the circuit's broken and now nothing works anymore. It's just me, bleeding out emotion into a fucking void! These arseholes know it. They know they don't need to acknowledge it. No one fucking does."
"Seriously, man!" Hidan took Deidara's shoulders and turned him around to see the wall of Akatsuki who were there to have his back. "We acknowledge it. Don't think about the fucking Church of England or the fucking in-laws - or out-laws - whatever. Sasori loved you, you fucking know that, it doesn't matter what the fuck anyone else thinks!"
"He'd be fucking happy, wouldn't he, getting to fucking torment me for ever! Having his fucking lasting legacy just like he always wanted-" Tears started pouring down Deidara's face, mixing with the rain. "I just want to stop feeling it! I don't want to be some living monument to his memory! I thought if I didn't have to see anything that reminded me of him, maybe I could stop. I didn't even want to come today! But then I couldn't not. I wanted one last - last -"
"Dei!" Hidan's voice cracked with emotion. "Dei, man, stop fucking fighting it! Just feel it! Just fucking feel it. It's not going to be stronger than you are!" He pulled Deidara against his chest and after a second felt him lose it completely. Animal, rageful sobs racked his body. "That's it, man," he murmured, doing his best to shield him from the worst of the cold and the rain, from the disapproving gazes of the family who hadn't loved Sasori and didn't care that Deidara had; from the useless sympathy of people who didn't know the first fucking thing about pain. "That's the fucking way."
He closed his eyes and sent up a brief prayer to Jashin - that he could know Dei's pain and share it with him. That Dei could come to peace through his suffering. To Kakuzu, arriving at that moment, he looked illuminated, angelic; he caught himself wondering - just for a second - if there could be some value in what Hidan believed. None of the rest of them had had any idea how to help Deidara, after all. Or the guts and grace to go to him and do it.
He put his umbrella over both of them; briefly touched Hidan's rain-darkened hair. Rivulets of water were snaking down his leather jacket and dripping heavily onto grass that was fast becoming mud. Hidan's face was as resolute as he'd ever seen it and, "Do you want us to take you home, Deidara?" he asked, putting a tentative hand on his rain-soaked shoulder as the shaking finally began to subside. "Or if you'd rather not be alone, stay with us. I'm sure Hidan has already told you how welcome you'd be."
Slowly, Deidara looked up and shook his head, compressing his lips tightly together. "Thanks, hn, but I'm going to wait til all these arseholes have gone and then. I just need some time alone with him." He gestured at the still-open grave at his feet. "I ... want to see this filled in. I don't even know the fuck why ... but the gravedigger dude said it would be okay."
"We'll wait, Dei," Hidan said. "Just give it a try, yeah? We'll leave you alone if that's what you want. It's a big fucking house, you wouldn't even have to see us if you didn't want to."
"Sure." Kakuzu gave his shoulder another brief pat. "Look, we can start everyone moving and come back and collect you," he said. "Half an hour, say? We'll give you all the space you need."
Deidara hesitated. He detached himself from Hidan, then straightened up. Squaring his shoulders with a faraway look in his eyes, he scanned the crowd. "Yeah. Alright." he said. He seemed spaced out now - on a different plane. "Alright. I'll come."
"You sure you don't want me to stay with you while..?" Hidan gestured at the grave.
"Yeah." Deidara was definite. "I'll ask the guy to find you when it's done, if you can wait down by the chapel for me." He flashed him a miserable smile. "Move the fuckers on for me, man. I don't care what you have to do. I'm giving you carte blanche."
Kakuzu put his umbrella in Deidara's icy hand, then took hold of Hidan's arm just above the elbow. "I'm not giving you carte blanche," he murmured as he led him away. "I'm sure we can do this in a civilised way. No one wants to be out in this rain much longer anyway." He wasn't precisely nervous - Kakuzu didn't do nervous - but he was very much aware that a large portion of the crowd were St Martin's students, supporting the girl who'd been driving the pink smartcar. Somewhere in that knot of people was Shikamaru Nara - he'd glimpsed his distinctive hairdo - and he was careful now not to cross the invisible line that seemed to divide the two discrete groups of mourners.
He didn't trust Hidan to even notice the divide, let alone play but its rules, so he kept a firm hold on him as he went to murmur in Konan's ear. She made some kind of prearranged signal to Gaara, and within moments both were making announcements. Konan leading the way, the crowd began to drift down the rhododendron-lined path back towards the colonnade. There was going to be a reception at Akatsuki Gallery for friends and students of Sasori; doubtless the Suna clan were doing something similar for Chiyo.
But of course, once everyone was heading for the same narrow path, there began to be some inevitable merging.
The resulting confrontation wasn't what Kakuzu had been expecting, but it was bad enough. Sasuke and Karin had attended the funeral - Yahiko and Konan had encouraged it, to boost the Akatsuki numbers and to provide at the very least an illusion of solidarity between the Uchiha brothers. So far they'd kept a low profile, mostly talking to Zetsu and Tobi, though Karin had come over for a brief chat. But now, Sasuke was face to face with Danzo Shimura - a senior lecturer at St Martin's. He'd been there for pretty much ever, as far as Kakuzu could tell, and he found him intensely boring. Despite the fact that his work was undeniably of a high standard, somehow he'd never wanted to invest. But here, there was clearly quite a bit of tension...
"Danzo," Sasuke spat, and hearing his voice so infused with hatred and disgust Kakuzu started to listen more closely - it seemed like quite a lot of other people did too. "Fancy fucking meeting you here!"
"Sasuke Uchiha!" Danzo replied in his flat, boring voice. "So, are you regretting your decision to leave St Martin's yet? I hear you couldn't stick out your third year at Orochimaru's place." Danzo and Orochimaru had even collaborated many many years ago, Kakuzu remembered, but as with so many people and Orochimaru, they now weren't on speaking terms.
Sasuke ignored that. "I've got something to show you!" he said, as though Danzo hadn't spoken. He took out his phone and started to load something up. Danzo took the opportunity to start moving away and Sasuke moved after him, raising his voice so that everyone around them could hear.
"Two things are going to happen, Danzo. St Martins is going to be exposed as the fucking hothousing sausage factory for mediocrity it is. And you're going to be exposed as a plagiarising murderer! Everyone's going to know that you've stolen every idea you've used in the whole of your fucking career! I've got the proof right here, and - oh yes!" His tone switched abruptly to mockingly light. "Karin went live with it about an hour ago..." He pointed at something on the screen. "Oh! Look how many times it's been shared already!" he said wonderingly. "Karin, that's good for a niche video about a so-called 'artist's artist', right? It doesn't hurt that you've had exclusive access in the week's most sensational news story I guess..."
Karin mumbled an affirmative. They'd put the video together in an unholy rush - less than an hour ago in fact. She hadn't realised when Sasuke had asked her to do it that Danzo would actually be here, or that Sasuke had been intending to confront him in person - but watching him at it it began to dawn on her that that had been the plan all along. She wished he'd told her - did he think she wouldn't have stuck by him? How could he think that? She glanced at Tobi. He didn't look remotely surprised - in fact he looked avid, expectant; like someone waiting for their favourite scene in a film they'd watched over and over. Yes. This had been planned. She glanced at Kakuzu too - he was frowning, one eyebrow arched in disdainful surprise, and she felt awful. His distaste for being dragged into this was palpable.
"You need to take that video down!" Danzo's face was twisted with rage, and some other emotion - was it fear? He pushed the phone away. "I don't want to see any more!" he spluttered. "This is disgusting. Outrageous-"
"What's outrageous is that you're an abusive psychopathic monster and you've been allowed to teach in one of the most prestigious art schools in the country for three decades. You lost your mojo somewhere along the way though, didn't you? - so you decided to steal a career from my cousin Shisui! The ideas you keep returning to again and again - those are his ideas. His imagery, techniques he developed - god, you've even exhibited some of his actual works!"
Danzo didn't seem to know what to say for a moment. His mouth moved soundlessly and his eyes shifted around, looking for some way out of the situation. Quite a group had gathered to quietly watch, including the current head of St Martin's, Tsunade Senju. It didn't seem like Danzo had many allies - no one stepped up to defend him.
If it was a difficult subject for Danzo, for Itachi, who'd been following at a slower pace and had just come within earshot, it was almost unbearable.
Shisui. The name rang through his head. Hearing it spoken out loud again, years of repressed emotion began to bubble towards the surface. For a moment, there in the rain, he felt like he was bodily back on Brighton Pier; watching the waves boil 40 foot beneath him, screaming that name over and over as Tobi had physically restrained him from jumping in after him. And although he knew that it had already been hopeless by that point; that the only difference would have been that two bodies were recovered by the coastguard hours later instead of one, there was a large part of him that still wished he'd done it all the same. He took a few difficult steps towards Sasuke, and he could feel his temperature rising with each one. A cold sweat prickling over him. Kisame had been right - he wasn't well enough for this.
"By this evening there won't be a single person on the scene who won't know all about how you drove him to suicide." Sasuke was continuing, relentless. "You and your fucking depraved hothousing and your special classes and your critiquing everyone into the ground so they didn't know a good idea from a shit one anymore. But what's really damning is how you persuaded him to stop taking his lithium. Yeah, he wrote to Itachi about it. Wasn't he inspired enough for you? Not producing his ideas fast enough for you to feed them into your own banal practise?"
"Sasuke, no!" He lurched forward, his hand outstretched. Shisui's letters to him as well? He thought they'd all been destroyed! For that last precious part of the past to be dragged out into the open, tarnished, judged - no. No. "Don't-!" he managed to force out, feeling that wretched cough rising. He took a shallow breath, trying not to exacerbate it. "What difference does it make now?" And then the tickle in his throat was overwhelming and he was hacking, hacking, hacking into his palm.
But Sasuke was too focused on Danzo to even notice him trying to struggle through the crowd. He could see the anguish under the cocky snarling facade and he wanted to tell him that awful and culpable though he was, Danzo wasn't the only one to blame. He thought he'd made it clear, but maybe Sasuke just hadn't been ready to hear it. Hadn't been ready to let go of his cherished image of mum and dad...
"And after Shisui died it was you who persuaded the whole faculty to turn their backs on Itachi when my dad chucked him out. And then you used that to blackmail dad and get rid of him too. You couldn't fucking make it up, could you?" Sasuke's voice was so harsh, so desperately angry. In the end, I didn't manage to protect him from anything, Itachi thought.
Not this bit, he wanted to say to him. Don't drag up this bit. But he couldn't get enough air in, he was dizzy, little golden dots seemed to be wriggling in from the edges of his vision... And what was that in his hand? Blood, again? He closed his fist around it. Closed his eyes too. It isn't working, he thought, before he could suppress it. The new drugs aren't working. I'm going to die of this. This isn't supposed to be a death sentence anymore but somehow, for me, there's never any best-case scenario. He could hear Sasuke talking on and on. Everything he'd kept to himself for so long - dragged out into the open. And for some reason it reminded him of his father's voice, the last time he'd ever spoken to him. 'We can't have you here corrupting Sasuke. Polluting him with that kind of filth. If that's the lifestyle you choose, you'll have to leave.'
The past seemed almost more real than the present. More believable. Because surely this couldn't really be happening. Someone would have stopped him by now... surely... But it carried on.
"I'm sure everyone will assume you've done exactly that." Danzo fought back. "You were a child at the time - an imaginative, impressionable child! I hate to be the one to break it to you, but your father's departure from St Martin's was far more to do with the fact that he was a barely functioning alcoholic - and naturally forcing his own son onto the street wasn't something any of us were comfortable to condone! Should we have been?"
"I was twelve! I remember Shisui really well. I remember how you wouldn't let my parents take his portfolios home after he died. I remember how his studio had been cleaned out when we went to get his things. Most of all I remember seeing my big brother crying, and the weeks afterwards when I didn't know where he'd gone, and seeing my mum so depressed that she couldn't leave her room, my dad to able to feel anything but anger and bitterness and the next year they were both dead. You destroyed my family, Danzo. Did you really think it would never come back to bite you?
I destroyed our family, Sasuke, Itachi thought. He closed his eyes, and the world seemed to spin. Even you. I thought maybe you could be okay, but you're not. You're not. He remembered getting the call about mum and dad as if it was yesterday. After Juzo had died, they'd tried to make contact. They'd been on their way to try and see him - though he'd told them not to come - when dad had run their car off the road. If he hadn't told them he wouldn't see them ... maybe ... if he'd been prepared to forgive them ...
"Sasuke," he gasped, a final effort, though he didn't suppose there was any chance of him hearing. "It's not worth it." And someone was supporting him now, saying his name, but of course it wasn't Sasuke - it was Kisame; just Kisame who was always there for him - and he felt the panic that always came with these attacks recede a little. "Sorry, Kisame," he whispered, doing his best to seem okay for him. "You were right. Just... help me find somewhere to sit down for a moment, could you? I guess I wasn't well enough for this..."
Sasuke, completely oblivious to anything but the effect he was having on Danzo, pursued him down the path as he did his best to slope away.
"There'll be legal action, I can promise," Danzo hissed, over his shoulder. "This is harassment! And slander! You've got no basis for any of it!"
"Uhh, have you looked at the photos, Danzo? Would you like a closer look?" Sasuke pushed his phone into Danzo's face as the picture changed, flicking through the photos one after the other. Shisui's smiling face filled the screen and Danzo winced away.
"They're not dated! They're not proof of anything."
"Shisui is as good as a date though, isn't he? Given that you drove him to suicide he obviously hasn't been in any pictures since the millennium..."
"It was an accident - a tragic accident!" Danzo's composure was long gone - he was clearly rattled now. "This is defamation! It's ... it's spreading malicious rumours ... it's against the law!"
"Well, that's Karin's lookout, isn't it?" Sasuke gave a cold laugh. "I'm can't be connected to this in any way. I'm just here to warn you you might find the press on your doorstep when you get home. But I think you'll find your reputation won't recover, however many people you try to bring down with you. It's out there now."
"Sasuke?" Karin gasped. She tried to tell herself he didn't mean it, that he was just saying it to get to Danzo. But a cold, hard little voice inside her said, 'you don't mean anything to him.' And if she was honest with herself, she knew it was true.
Kakuzu, watching the scene unfold with some concern but also quite a lot of interest, gave a little 'tch' of distaste and shook his head. "Nasty," he commented to Hidan.
"What a prick," Hidan agreed. "Is this all true?"
"I ... don't know," Kakuzu admitted. "Apart from that I'm pretty sure it wasn't a 'tragic accident'..." But before they could go into it any more, an ashen-faced Kisame appeared beside them.
"Kakuzu!" he said, his voice desperate. "Can you take a look at Itachi? He's ... not in a good way at all!"
They followed Kisame a little way back up the path, to where Itachi perched gingerly on the edge of an ivy-covered gravestone.
Kakuzu wasn't in a lot of doubt about what he'd find - he'd seen enough of this sort of thing 20 years ago, though admittedly it was something he'd thought he'd never have to deal with again. "May I?" he asked, putting a hand to Itachi's forehead. Definitely hot. He squatted in front of him; passed him his handkerchief to clean the blood off his hand. "Itachi, I think you know this has developed into pneumonia now," he said slowly, calmly. Itachi just nodded, dazed. He swayed a little and Kakuzu put a steadying hand on his arm. "We need to get you to a doctor. It's highly treatable, you know," he added to Kisame, who was clearly on the verge of outright panic, "it isn't necessarily any indication of whether the new antiretroviral is working or not - it's early days, isn't it? Look - Kabuto's here somewhere - Kabuto!" he called commandingly, catching sight of him. "Come over here a moment!"
Kabuto turned and as their eyes met that old unspoken understanding passed between them - he didn't need to say any more. Kakuzu stepped away from the others to meet him. He knew he could trust Kabuto to be discreet, at least where medical matters were concerned. "I'm not sure whether you're aware that Itachi is HIV positive," he murmured. "He's had ... a lot of trouble with drug resistance and now. Well. He's certainly exhibiting symptoms of acute pneumonia."
Kabuto winced. "I thought that might be it," he said quietly.
Kabuto had specialised in HIV/AIDS for a good few years after Kakuzu had left medicine. He'd decided to make a change to emergency medicine in the late 90s. Altogether, Kakuzu was extremely grateful to have him around to hand this over to. "I think Itachi needs to see a new specialist..." he added, careful to keep his voice low - though to be honest Itachi looked like he was on another planet right now. "Can you pull any strings? Recommend anyone? This is just so unusual..."
Kabuto nodded, frowning as he also gauged Itachi's temperature. "There's an excellent HIV team at the Royal Free, you know," he told Kakuzu. "Right at the end of your road..." He felt Itachi's pulse. "I know the clinical lead there - I can drop him down and have a word. We should still contact his regular doctor anyway, for a detailed medical history..."
"Of course," Kakuzu agreed, though he felt that Itachi's regular doctor must be a fucking hack to have let things go so far.
They helped Itachi to his feet and immediately he was coughing again. He pressed Kakuzu's handkerchief to his mouth, leant heavily on Kisame's arm. Kisame could have carried him as easily as a child, but there was a determined dignity about him even now that seemed to prohibit anything of the kind. For a moment they were all at a loss - then Hidan returned with one of the funeral directors. "I've scored you a lift down the hill, man," he said to Itachi. "Just, maybe try not to think too much about what you're riding in..."
"How are you the only one with any presence of mind..." Kakuzu murmured as they others moved slowly away. He put a hand on Hidan's shoulder and gave him a little shove to move him on. But after only a few paces that hand somehow slipped down and around his waist, pulling Hidan against him for a moment. It was dryer under the trees; most people were some way ahead of them now and after all, they weren't in any hurry. And being alone with Hidan he suddenly felt like he could breathe again. He was looked down at him - and Hidan was slowing his pace and turning to face him - when they heard a familiar drawling voice.
"I don't know how you have the gall to show your face here." Kakuzu's head snapped up again. Shikamaru Nara, just ahead of them and blocking their way, flanked by a group of students.
"The fuck-?!" Hidan started forward. "Sasori was our friend! Where the fuck else should I be?" he spat.
"Don't rise to it, Hidan," Kakuzu said. Kabuto had told him when they'd chatted earlier that Asuma had contracted MRSA in hospital a few days ago. He was in intensive care. The stakes had suddenly risen dramatically. Oh hell, here we go, he thought. Our very presence is enough to start a fight at a funeral now...
"I think you should be behind bars, personally," Shikamaru said languidly.
"Oh yeah?" Hidan took a threatening half-step forward. "For defending myself? Whose knife was it, again, remind me?! Who had me in an armlock while that cunt stuck it in my face?! You're fucking lucky I didn't press charges, mate, because you're the one who should be behind bars! You and your two-bit, straight-to-a-teaching-career friends and fucking Sarutobi as well."
Shikamaru fell back a little - sensibly; there was clearly no way he could take Hidan one on one - but his friend barrelled forward and actually threw a punch. A massive guy, and he clearly wasn't holding back. "You don't call Asuma that, you bastard," he yelled, all eyes turning towards them just as Kakuzu instinctively blocked the blow with his own hand.
"For goodness sake," he said coldly - and loudly, so that anyone still within earshot need have no doubt who had started this. "Remember where you are! Show some respect!"
"Aw, Kakuzu, you didn't have to do that for me, babe." Hidan looked up at him with big innocent eyes and a wicked smile. "I could've taken it!" Kakuzu could feel the excitement emanating from him and it was hard not be infected by it - he wants to let rip, he realised. He wants to tear these little punks apart, and God, I want to let him. I want to see him do it. But that is a really really bad idea.
"Better my hand than my heart, love," he replied, with exaggerated gallantry and a raised eyebrow. "You know how I feel about seeing you get hurt." Keep this light, he told himself, massaging his palm and flexing his fingers - there had been a lot of force behind that punch. Don't let yourself get angry.
Shikamaru swallowed, his hands clenching into fists, clearly incensed but not quite enough of an arsehole - or maybe just not quite unwise enough - to take let this get any more physical right now. "The reason you haven't pressed charges couldn't be clearer," he said to Hidan, his voice icy. "You both know if this was properly investigated it would soon come out that 'throwing up an arm to defend yourself' doesn't often result in someone accidentally slicing themselves to the bone! I saw you do it - we all did. You as well!" he added to Kakuzu. "And while it's clear you're infatuated enough to perjure yourself for him, I guess you'd rather not if you can avoid it!"
He turned away, gesturing to his friends to join him. "You may not be able to avoid it much longer." A parting shot over his shoulder. "Asuma's big enough to admit he started it - he'll take you down even if it means going down with you."
"If I were you I'd let Asuma focus on getting well," Kakuzu said coldly. "Extra stress now isn't going to aid his recovery, is it?"
He took Hidan by the upper arm again and held him forcibly back until they were out of sight. "For goodness sake let's not court any more trouble," he exclaimed sharply.
"Alright, alright!" Hidan prised Kakuzu's fingers a little looser and he felt a surge of guilt.
"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing Hidan's arm where he'd been gripping it. "Listen, let's just let them get out of our way and then go and wait in the car. It's completely vile out here and there are far too many people out for your blood."
While Shikamaru had detained Hidan and Kakuzu, Sasuke had hounded Danzo all the way back down to the top of the colonnade, and there was no reason to think he would've stopped there, either, if it hadn't been for the three people waiting for them. Karin recognised them immediately - Sasuke's ex-girlfriend from his time at St Martin's - she'd seen her in pictures - and Kakashi Hatake; he was unmistakable. The third was her cousin Naruto. They actually didn't know each other well at all - their parents hadn't been close - but still, he was family. She hesitated.
Naruto shot forward and grabbed Sasuke by the arm. "Sasuke, wait!" Sasuke tried to shake him off, but his grip was tenacious. "Wait! We can help you! Look, doing this at a funeral is just making you look like a prick! Come back with us and we'll talk about this!"
It was only a few seconds, but it was enough of an opportunity for Danzo to make his escape and Sasuke was incandescent with rage. "What is there to talk about?" he snarled. "How is letting him get away scot-free helping?!"
Kakashi, leaning against a Grecian-style tomb the size of a medium garden shed, fixed his eyes on Sasuke with an intensity distinctly at odds with his casual demeanour. "We all want to get rid of Danzo," he said quietly. "He nearly did to me what he did to Shisui, and I've got two more people at least who'll testify in a hearing against him. More people will probably come forward because of Karin's video. But now's not the time or place, is it? You've made your point - several times over - and it's clearly taken a toll on your brother; god only knows how Chiyo's family are feeling right now!"
There was a pause. Sasuke stopped trying to walk away. He seemed to go a little whiter and Karin watched him warily, not saying anything. She realised how much she was walking on eggshells around him just now and despised herself for it, but pushed the thought down. Sasuke looked at Kakashi and Kakashi looked coolly back at him, then down at the ground.
Sasuke smiled - not a nice smile though. He gave a short laugh. "If I wanted a fucking millstone I'd've taken Sakura with me when I left!" he jibed. "I don't want your help; I don't need it, and actually Danzo's not the only one I'm taking down - as far as I see it you're all complicit. You knew what was going on, you did nothing to stop it, you didn't help Shisui, you didn't help Itachi, so don't give me that concerned attitude now! Fuck you, Kakashi. You're next."
"I was a fucked-up kid just like them when it happened to me," Kakashi said quietly. "Maybe it's no excuse, but it is a reason. I took it to Hiruzen; at the time I didn't see what more I could do."
"You've worked alongside Danzo for the last three years." Sasuke snarled. "You're right. It is no excuse."
"Sasuke!" Sakura stumbled forward. "Sasuke, please come back with us and talk about this." She lowered her voice, but it was determined, resolute. "I ... I still love you Sasuke. Don't you feel anything anymore? I'm really worried about you. I'll do anything, just please please don't shut me out again."
It was like Sasuke saw her for the first time and Karin remembered only too well how it felt to be on the receiving end of that trick. "Don't you get it, Sakura?" he sneered. His eyes were like chips of ice. "Everyone's being nice about it because they're sorry for you, but the truth is, you caused this, didn't you? Two artists are dead because you're a fucking terrible driver. How does that feel?"
Karin felt the pointless, irrelevant cruelty like a physical blow. How is this Sasuke? she thought helplessly. How do I still love him - how does she? "Sasuke," she said quietly, guardedly, moving up beside him. "Leave her alone. Please. This isn't what we're here for."
And then the cold eyes were on her instead. "You've done your bit now Karin; why are you even still here? You're actually a bit of a liability to me now - you should leave."
He turned back to Sakura. "You're second-rate, Sakura. I- You know what? I can't be bothered. I just can't be bothered with your shit. I don't even know why you think I'd be interested - why would anyone be?"
"Stop it Sasuke!" Karin pleaded. Sakura was crying now, awfully, unashamedly, and Karin couldn't bear it; she was nearly crying too as she tugged on Sasuke's arm and he shrugged her off with so much force that she went flying backwards.
She hit the ground hard and though it hurt like hell it was the shame that was nearly overwhelming. She bit her lip, breathing hard, and kept her eyes shut tight for a moment so that no tears could fall. This is too much, she thought. I actually don't want any more of this.
"I don't know what the fuck Chiyo saw in you," she heard Sasuke say. It seemed like he was just being cruel for fun now. "She was the real deal... I guess maybe she was just sorry for you..."
She opened her eyes in time to see Kakashi step protectively in front of Sakura. "That's enough, Sasuke," he said coldly. "Enough!"
Not another fight, Kakuzu thought. They'd hurried forward at the sound of raised voices and rounded the corner just as Karin went flying. Sasuke sinking lower in his estimation than he thought possible, he hurried forward and knelt down beside her. Hidan lingered few paces behind, watching Sasuke and Naruto start to beat the shit out of each other with undisguised interest.
"Karin," Kakuzu said gently. "What on earth?!
"Sasuke..." Karin said miserably as he helped her to her feet and led her to a rickety little wooden bench. It was a enough of an explanation. She gestured towards Sakura. "That's his ex. I don't know what's got into him. I wish he'd just stop..."
Kakuzu sighed. "It's what's always in him, Karin," he said wearily. "Open your eyes." It was odd, he thought. He wouldn't have picked out Sakura, pretty as she was, to attract a kid like Sasuke. In fact, he set off his gaydar more than a bit. Particularly so when wrestling in the mud with the kid he now recognised as Naruto Uzumaki - the student from St Martin's that Nagato Pein was so interested in. It was intense and savage - neither of them were holding back. But Naruto seemed to be the more resilient and in a few gruelling seconds he was on top. Karin had to shove her fist in her mouth to keep from screaming. "I need to help him-" she gasped. "He's hurt- Can't you stop them?"
"I'm not getting involved in that," Kakuzu said flatly. He caught Hidan by the wrist as he came alongside them. "And neither are you." He gestured at Sakura, sobbing in Kakashi's arms now - their eyes briefly met - "Don't be naive, Karin, that would be you next. Oh, don't bother!" He cut her off as she started to protest that she wasn't interested in Sasuke, they were only friends- "It's pretty damn obvious, girl. Just cut it out before you end up like her, hm?"
"Hey, get the fuck off me with that pimp grip," Hidan protested equably.
"No fighting then," Kakuzu said firmly.
Hidan rolled his eyes. "Fine! It's not like I give a shit anyway..."
Karin took a deep breath. There was something soothing about their amiable bickering and her self respect started to make a comeback. "Yeah," she said, her voice suddenly tougher. "Yeah. You know what? You're preaching to the choir. I'm done with him. After everything I-" Another deep breath. "I'm done."
And the fight was suddenly over, as quickly as it had begun. Sasuke struggled away backwards and Naruto collapsed forward on his hands and knees, clearly exhausted. They were both breathing hard; they didn't break eye contact. "Sasuke," Naruto panted. "Don't be a dick, come on! Come on!"
But before he could make any reply, Tobi and Zetsu appeared; from where, Kakuzu couldn't be sure, though from the smell of them it was a distinct possibility that they'd been discreetly sharing a joint beneath the colonnade arches. Without a word Tobi came between Sasuke and Naruto, breaking their connection. Taking in the situation in a swift glance, he bent down and hauled Sasuke to his feet and Sasuke seemed to be too dazed and exhausted to resist. "Alright, kiddo, Uncle Tobi's gonna get you home," he crooned. He pulled Sasuke's arm over his shoulder. Sasuke groaned - Tobi ignored it. "I'll catch up with you at the gallery, guys," he called back. "Tell Konan I got delayed doing my avuncular duty, would you?"
"Sasuke!" Naruto howled. "Wait!" Wait, you bastard!" But Sasuke didn't even look back and after staring after him for a second longer he collapsed, despairing, face first into the dirt.
Kakashi was also staring after them - he looked like he'd seen a ghost. It was clear that he hated even acknowledging him but he turned to Kakuzu and met his eye. "Kakuzu. Who is that?" he asked tensely.
"Hm?" Kakuzu didn't feel like being especially cooperative, all things considered. "Oh, that's just Tobi," he said unhelpfully. "You don't know him? He's a photographer... You should get out to some more Private Views, Kakashi... meet some people ..."
Kakashi let go of Sakura and went over to the stone balustrade to watch Sasuke and Tobi crossing the open space in front of the chapels and vanishing through the arch between them. "Are you okay?" Sakura choked out to Karin as she did her best to get an unresponsive Naruto up from the ground.
"I'm fine." Karin's voice was high and tense. Sympathy from Sakura was just too much right now; her resolve started to crumble. "Don't worry about me - I know Sasuke's a total fuck up, I'd never dream of letting him get to me." But she could feel her composure breaking just at the sight of the other girl's devastated face. "Sakura? ... is it?" she asked, though of course she knew. "Can I say this? He's not the same as he was when you two were on foundation together. He's-" suddenly she started to cry in earnest. "He's really-"
"-not worth this," Kakuzu finished for her sternly. He reached for his handkerchief, then remembered he'd given it to Itachi. Looking distinctly sheepish, Hidan produced a silk pocket square. Midnight fading to a shimmering electric blue, it had an intricate and clearly hand-painted abstracted animal print swirling out from one corner. "Yugito fucking planted this on me..." he said.
Karin gave a helpless laugh. "I can't use that," she sniffed. "It's like, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen... it's a work of art..."
"Nah, fuck it, it's just a snot rag with delusions of grandeur!" Hidan let go of it, so that she had to either catch it or let it fall on the muddy ground. She snatched it out of the air as it fluttered down. "Keep it," Hidan said. You probably need to, I don't know, hand wash it or some shit - I'd fuck it up in a week..."
Karin blew her nose on it, loudly. "Fuck, that feels liberating..." She gave them a watery smile.
"That's it," Kakuzu said. "Good girl. Dry your tears, then go on down to the Akatsuki reception. Meet some interesting people and feast your eyes on some delightful pieces from my private collection. And drink some wine and forget about the pissy little bastard."
"And don't call him when you get wasted," Hidan added. "You can call Kakuzu instead, he's the soul of discretion."
Karin gave a weak giggle. "OK," she said tiredly. "It seems like I don't have anything better to do. Are you going?"
"No. We're going to take Deidara back with us, and I think seeing a room full of Sasori's work is more than he could handle right now," Kakuzu said quietly. "I'll call Konan and tell her to expect you. Will you be alright to get yourself to Archway?"
"Come along with me if you like," Zetsu offered, drifting into the conversation. "I'm going down there now."
They walked down the stone steps in silence. When they reached the car, without even thinking about it Kakuzu opened the passenger door for Hidan and shut it after him as he got in. He shut it in the way Hidan had come to associate with almost everything Kakuzu did - firmly, definitely, but with absolutely no more force than was necessary to get the job done and that alone was enough to get him to relax a little. He sighed, shrugging off his jacket and breathing in the warm-car smell which just at that moment seemed like heaven.
"What a fucking awful situation," he said as Kakuzu got in the other side. He watched the last straggling groups of people trickle through the wrought iron gates and head for the tube.
"Mmm," said Kakuzu.
"I don't know what the fuck Dei is going to do. He's a mess."
"Yes," Kakuzu agreed.
Hidan looked at his impassive profile. Damn, it was still difficult to get him to talk sometimes! Deidara's words about sugar daddies and people looking at them came back to him and he wondered what Kakuzu thought about that. Did he care if people thought Hidan was hanging around him for - well, for what? Hidan made plenty of money, even if he did spend it about as quickly as he earned it. Comfort? Security? Guidance? Even if there was a grain of truth in some of that ... and it certainly wasn't as if he didn't appreciate those things ... the magnetic force that Kakuzu seemed to exert over him was nothing to do with any of them, and perhaps it did piss him off a bit to think of that being disregarded. But Kakuzu probably didn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thought anyway.
"The only other funeral I've ever been to was my mum's," he said. He wasn't even quite sure what suddenly put it into his head, but he suddenly felt that cold sinking feeling of our loss as if it had been yesterday. "Fuck!" he murmured. "What about you?"
Kakuzu gave him a sidelong look. "Hidan, I fucked my way through the 80s - I've been to a lot of funerals."
"Shit, of course," Hidan said. "Sorry."
Kakuzu's hand found its way onto his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay," he said. "And I'm sorry about your mum," he said. "I thought that was probably the case but I didn't like to ask. How long...?"
"Just over eleven years now." Somehow a precise answer right off the bat hadn't been what he'd expected, and Kakuzu glanced quickly over at him again.
"You were close?" It was a question, but only just.
"Mm." Hidan nodded, then tipped his head back against the headrest. Blinked rapidly. A deep breath. "Fuck, I'm sorry," he muttered. "I really fucking miss her a lot."
"Don't be sorry," Kakuzu said. He slipped an arm around him. "It's been a hard day. Nearly over now."
"Yeah." Hidan leant his head into his shoulder and Kakuzu's hand came up to stroke through his wet hair. He cradled the back of his skull in his palm and it felt like the first really intimate contact they'd had since they left the house. He pulled him closer, breathed in the scent of him, dropped a light kiss on the top of his head.
"You really are soaked!" he chided him gently. He reached into the back and came up with a very worn and thin looking towel. "Dry off a bit before you get hypothermia, please!"
"Is this a dog towel?" Hidan asked doubtfully.
"It is a dog towel," Kakuzu admitted, "but it's a clean dog towel. Don't be so picky."
Hidan sniffed it suspiciously, then deigned to give his hair a brisk rub. Combing it back with his fingers into some semblance of his usual immaculate style he tossed the towel over to Kakuzu. "You're just as fucking soaked," he said. "What are you worrying about me for?"
He peered out through the now misty window; used his sleeve to clear a patch in the condensation. "Kakuzu," he said, after a moment. "Look." Manoeuvring carefully in through the chain-linked bollards, deeply incongruous in the sombre gothic setting, was a bright orange Lamborghini...
"Tobi!" Hidan exclaimed. "What's he done with Sasuke? And he's bringing his fucking car in? - I didn't think that was allowed."
"It's not," Kakuzu said shortly. "You need to have a pass. He must have dropped Sasuke off at Archway and come straight back..."
Hidan stared at him for a moment, wide-eyed. "Fuck!" he said suddenly, "Fuck! Deidara!" He fumbled at the door handle and practically fell out of the car in his haste. Moving forward even as he picked himself up, he sprinted for the cemetery entrance.
"Wait! Hidan!" By the time Kakuzu was out of the car out and had come around from the driver's side Hidan was through the arch and out of sight. Pursuing a Lamborghini on foot, he thought, slowing his pace a moment. Are we crazy? He almost wondered whether it was worth waiting here and trying to intercept them as they came out. But as he came through the tunnel between the chapels and looked up the hill he glimpsed Hidan already at the top of the colonnade steps and decided to carry on. Tobi must have taken the longer loop around the outside of the cemetery - even without the steps this path was certainly too narrow for a car. Hidan would probably make it there within minutes of him, and he didn't want him to have to deal with some kind of scene on his own. Certainly not a scene involving Tobi and Deidara.
Up the steps he went, and round the bend in the path where Sasuke had kicked off earlier, just catching sight of Hidan for a moment before he turned the next corner. But as he reached it himself he heard the revving of an engine, shockingly loud, then a thump and a hoarse cry of shock. Almost immediately headlamps were glaring out of the rain ahead of him and he had to back halfway into a rhododendron as the car sped back down past him, certainly breaking the 5mph limit by a fair margin, clouds of exhaust billowing out behind, flattening ferns, wheels spinning in the mud.
'Hidan!" he called urgently as the obscene noise of Tobi's engine receded into the distance. He hurried forward, slipping and sliding on the churned up earth. "Hidan?" The appalling weather was making late afternoon almost like twilight under the trees and Hidan was like a shadow anyway, dressed all in black... it would have been so easy not to see him...
"That you, Kakuzu?" A small flat voice, from out of the rainy gloom. "I'm here." And a few yards further on he found him, sitting on a patch of grass verge looking dazed and sick.
"He fucking climbed the bank," Hidan said bitterly. "He went round that archy thing on the grass - I didn't stand a fucking chance. Could you ... see in the car?" he added, and the amount of hope that was still in his eyes, it was awful to have to let him down.
Kakuzu crouched down beside him and shook his head. He rather thought he might have seen a flash of blond hair actually but he couldn't swear to it and under the circumstances he wasn't going to commit himself. "I'm ... not certain," he said. "Are you alright? Did he hit you?"
"Not- not exactly ... I don't think so ..." Hidan got shakily to his feet. "More kind of ... ran me off the road. I just instinctively dived out of the way. Shit! I wish I'd fucking held my ground!"
"No!" Kakuzu exclaimed. "Don't say that! He was going far too fast! I wonder why he came down this way as well..."
"Because he's a fucking lunatic. And maybe as a big fucking 'fuck you' to you and me..." He scowled, his hands clenching instinctively into fists. "But we need to check. We need to make sure." He was already hurrying onwards and Kakuzu followed close behind.
"Of course," he said. What else could they do? They couldn't leave without being sure. But it was no real surprise to either of them when they reached Sasori's grave to find that Deidara was gone.
"Dei!" Hidan called out. "Dei, man, are you here?" He got his phone out of his pocket and stared at it. There was no message. He called Deidara; no reply. His hand fell limply to his side. They both noticed Kakuzu's umbrella leaning forlornly against a stone cherub which clung to the base of an ivy covered gravestone. Apart from the patter of the rain everything was all so quiet and still. It was hard to believe the amount of drama that had gone on here over the last half hour.
There was another moment of silence in which Kakuzu thought Hidan might be going to take things calmly. It didn't last.
"No!" Hidan almost screamed the word. He hurled his phone onto the ground. "No, no, no! That piece of shit!"
"Hidan." Kakuzu grasped him by the shoulders, hard. Even shook him a little before he realised what he was doing and stopped himself. "It's done. It's happened. Losing it isn't going to help anything."
"He's going to fucking destroy him. That fucker is like fucking poison to Dei - it's the last thing he needs now-"
"I know that. Hidan. I know. But it's his choice, he's an adult, we can't force him to make good decisions. And we don't know what Tobi's-"
"Yes we do fucking know!" Hidan snarled, shrugging Kakuzu's hands off him. "Dei would've called me. He'd've let me know what he was doing if this was even fucking remotely ok!"
"Well. Maybe-" Kakuzu almost faltered as Hidan's furious gaze hit him like a ton of bricks. But not everyone dealt with grief in the same way - Hidan could surely accept that... "- maybe it'll be good for him to have a distraction. Just to get him through the worst-"
Hidan jabbed a finger towards the mound of bare earth beside them. "If it was you down there," he growled, "and some fucked-up coke-head obsessive who'd been stalking me for the last year and a half picked me up at your funeral! And our friends just fucking let it happen?! What the fuck would you have to say to that?! Hm?!"
"Well, I'd be dead for a start," Kakuzu cut in drily. The comparison reminded him sharply of that conversation with Sasori in the hotel bar in Edinburgh. It felt like a lifetime ago now, though it had been barely a month. "Of course it's far from ideal but-"
Are you trying to tell me you'd be happy with that?! Are you trying to say that would be fucking better for me?! To get myself so shit-faced I couldn't even remember that I'd lost you? To get myself fucked into oblivion just so I wouldn't have to think about you?!"
"I'm not saying anything," Kakuzu retorted quietly. "You're putting words in my mouth."
"Well, it doesn't fucking work!" Hidan raged on as if he hadn't spoken. "You do that, and every time you surface it's like it's happening all over again! The only way to get through it is to fucking feel it, and Dei was nearly fucking ready to do that! He let me in! He'd've been alright. He was going to be alright!"
Kakuzu didn't say anything more - what was the point? He picked Hidan's phone up of the ground and watched him feeling his rage and grief with a visceral abandon that he almost envied. And for what felt like the hundredth time that day, forced his own back down.
"We should've had his back!" Hidan shouted, kicking the pedestal of a Victorian angel which loomed ominously above them. "I should've stayed here! Fucking Tobi! How did fucking Tobi get one over on us!"
"Do you remember anything I tell you? He's not quite as much of an idiot he likes to appear."
"Fuck!" Hidan did remember now. "That makes it ten times fucking worse, doesn't it?! He's fucking powerful- he's influential- he's- fuck, he ought to know better!"
"Call him, then," Kakuzu suggested tiredly. "Call Tobi and tell him he's being an arsehole piece of shit who should know better. It's worth a try." Or at least, it'll be something for you to shout at that isn't me, he thought. He felt deeply responsible for what had happened and blamed himself bitterly. Though as he watched Hidan searching his phone for Tobi's number it did occur to him to wonder whether Deidara might have called Tobi himself. It was a fairly massive coincidence otherwise. But he didn't share that thought with Hidan.
Hidan's call went straight to voicemail. He told the voicemail it was an arsehole piece of shit and hung up. And Kakuzu watched in silence as the anger slowly drained out of him, leaving behind a tired, bewildered-looking sadness that just about broke his heart. He put a hand on his shoulder and there was no resistance now as he pulled him towards him.
"Come on, sweetheart," he said. "Let's go home."