It was a cold morning in Godrics Hollow.
Harry woke up, bathed, repaired the bathroom cabinet door when it fell off, and went to have breakfast, to find Kreacher serving him at the tiny kitchen table.
"Kreacher. Why are you here"?
"I am a house elf, you are here. I am here" croaked Kreacher.
"Well don't let muggles see you"
"The land has muggle repelling charms." croaked Kreacher. "Kreacher can feel them"
"Well, you can… tidy up after breakfast." said Harry.
"I"m going to go to Andromeda Tonks house to see Teddy Lupin, then lunch at the Weasleys, then back here to cook quiche for super."
"Master is having guests?" croaked Kreacher.
"four guests" said Harry.
"Master's breakfast and tea" croaked Kreacher.
...
Harry left Godrics hollow looking forward to a day of Teddy, lunch with the Weasleys, More Teddy, then quiche with his quidditch buddies. That they were girls… was not important. And Tracey was bringing her ..something Blaise Zabini. Hopefully nobody would be too rude about Ikea furniture.
...
Harry apparated home to his house from the Burrow, into his sitting room. Instantly, he could tell something was wrong. Instead of Ikea furniture, there were antiques from Grimmauld place. His cheap couch was gone, replaced with the two from the mausoleum like drawing room. In this light, they were dark blue and mahogany. The Ikea bookshelf in the corner had been replaced with a bookshelf he'd seen in a bedroom. It looked… okay but like he'd filled his sitting room with antiques.
Harry walked across the front hall to the dining room. There.. like a mahogany monolith was the Grimmauld place dining table. It must have been shrunken to fit. It was surrounded by dining chairs, not flatpack from Sweden, assembled last night, but antiques from Grimmauld place. There on the wall was the mirror from Grimmauld place's dining room, and at the far end, the glass fronted cabinet from the drawing room. Instead of looking like a house built last month, full of Ikea, it looked.. like a slightly under-decorated small manor dining room.
Harry went across the dining room to the kitchen. Unchanged. Whew. Kreacher stood, poised by the oven. "When are masters guests arriving"
"Seven" said Harry.
Kreacher snapped his fingers and the stove lit, and bowls and eggs flew abut.
"I was going to cook" said Harry levelly.
"Master should wash." said Kreacher. "Young Master Teddy has dribbled on Master"
Harry went to the small upstairs bathroom and discovered his bathroom cabinet had been replaced with something mahogany from Grimmauld place he'd never seen. The door didn't fall off, and his fluffy new Ikea towels were there.
Harry went to his bedroom to get undressed and stopped. His bed was gone. Replaced by a monstrosity from Grimmauld place. Harry poked the mattress.. oddly springy. Harry peeled back a sheet and found his newish mattress on an old bed. And bedside tables, two wardrobes. Kreacher seemed to have taken everything cheap from the cottage and replaced it with things from Grimmauld place.
Harry took a shower. Over the bath. It was Harry's new shower. Nice towel, and the mirror was his new one. No missing silver.
He wrapped himself in a fluffy towel and went to his room. His parents old drawers held his clothes, so Kreacher appeared to only have it in for flat-pack Swedish things. Harry dressed in a clean shirt and trousers, and clean black shoes.
Harry looked in the spare bedroom; it had suffered a Grimmauld place makeover too. Though with the white ceilings and walls, the furniture looked miles brighter. Harry sighed.
With a feeling of dread, he opened the nursery door. He'd always been a bit… nervous about a room he remembered; partly from dementor-induced flashbacks and partly from seeing Voldemort's memory of coming to kill Harry. Harry had never put anything in the nursery. The nursery… looked quite different. There was a chest of drawers, Harry vaguely remembered from Ginny and Hermione's room, with a low table 'right height for changing nappies' thought Harry, and a dark wooden cot. The room's white walls, yellow wooden floor and white ceiling made everything rather light. The sunny side window now had an very dark purple curtain edged with black lace, pulled back, and a white lace curtain . The overall effect was… Harry hated to admit.. like it was the nursery of an old family who liked bright rooms. Which, Harry sighed, it was really. Teddy was nearly too big to sleep in a cot.
Harry looked into the far corner, and right of the window seat was a small bed. The mattress was missing from the bed. Harry sighed; at least Kreacher hadn't brought some pestilential mattress from Grimmauld place.
Kreacher had clearly decided that if Harry lived here, the 'good furniture' did too.
Harry went downstairs, wondering.
Kreacher was finishing mixing and the oven was baking.
"Kreacher what did you do with the Ikea furniture" asked Harry, standing in the kitchen door.
"It is in Grimmauld place master. Master must have furniture in a house to sell it."
Harry looked at the clock on the wall. Ten to seven.
"Kreacher? Where is the wine?"
"In the cellar, master" said Kreacher.
"A bottle?" asked Harry.
"In the… bad drawing room" said Kreacher.
Harry went back to the sitting room, and on a side-table stood a glass of wine, open and six glasses.
Harry took a deep breath and went to the kitchen; the laundry part was untouched. Somehow, Kreacher had not touched it. One room. One room in the whole house. Mad house elf.
...
Harry went back to the sitting room, and waved his wand to turn on some more lights. The light fixtures had not been replaced. No snakes or worse.
...
Harry walked to the front door… oh. There was a massive hall stand in the front dormer. Of course there was. The troll foot umbrella stand was by the looks of it still at Grimmauld Place. Small mercies.
Harry looked out the small window in the front door. It was fairly dark outside. Harry turned on the 'muggle friendly' outdoor lights. They lit the front door, the steps and the paving stones to the gate.
...
He stood nervously. This was all turning out different.. Harry returned to the sitting room, to have a quick glass of wine, and found a plate of little bits of toast with… orange coloured bubbly stuff on them.
Tasted a bit salty.
...
Harry had some of the wine. It was… okay, he supposed.
...
Someone knocked on the door.
...
Harry opened it and there was Tracey, in a cloak, not a warm coat and a wooly hat, with Blaise Zabini, in a natty hounds-tooth coat, looking… nervous.
"Oh come on in" said Harry, holding the door open "Don't mind the décor, my elf's gone mad"
Blaise and Tracey came in, Tracey checked her reflection in the hall stand mirror and hung her cloak on one if it's hooks. Blaise undid the belt on his coat and hung it up. Blase was wearing a brown silk shirt and a waistcoat in black and purple, and it somehow worked. Tracey was wearing.. a dark dress. Evidently she'd grown a bit since fourth year. She looked rather grown up and female.
"Just go on through" said Harry. "Go Left"
Blaise and Tracey walked the short hall to the sitting room.
"Oh" said Blaise "Cottage on the outside, casual manor on the inside."
"I blame the elf" said Harry.
"Oh, it's … rather stylish" said Blaise, taking a full glass of wine and eating one of the toast things.
Tracey looked peeved "You said you had furniture... not antiques" she said "Are we eating here?"
Harry pointed to the hallway "My dining room over there used to be Ikea."
"I was worried I'd feel overdressed" said Tracey, sipping wine "mm. Good wine."
"This was going to be more low key" said Harry. Blaise sauntered over to the dining room.
"Oh… how does that fit?"
"My elf seems to be happy to distort spaces" said Harry.
"Makes me think I should be wearing high collared dress robes" said Blaise, chuckling.
"Oh... silver plate." he said.
Harry strode over; the table was being set; appearing plate by plate in Black family silver. Candlesticks appeared.
"I feel embarrassed" said Harry. "This was supposed to be friends from quidditch watching having supper."
"Is it an old elf?" asked Blaise
"Very" admitted Harry.
"They get a bit… stuck in their ways" said Blaise. "Mother has some… very formal houses"
"Well chez Potter is supposed to be a bit less … this" said Harry, taking a slug of wine.
Blaise made a two handed upwards shrug and said "Well, it's decent wine, decent caviar, and some of your antiques aren't hideous. Don't feel bad."
"Thanks" said Harry. "Normally it's crisps and cider, eh Tracey"
"Yup" said Tracey, using both hands to rearrange her dress. "Bloody stupid dress"
"Well, you look like you blend onto the decor"
"Only just" said Tracey "How do you live like this?"
"I don't. I left home today, it was mostly Ikea and old stuff from mum and dad's house.. came back eight hours later… it's all stuff from the last house of the blacks."
"Well, we can just get pissed and laugh at it" said Tracey, sitting on the left couch. Blaise sat next to her.
Harry perched on the arm of an armchair in the middle of the room he'd never seen there before.
…
Someone knocked on the door.
Harry jolted up, took a belt of wine and answered the door.
Three heads in hooded cloaks stood on his steps. Daphne, Tori and Lilith.
"Come on in.. sorry about the décor, my house elf went mad and redecorated in old fusty."
Three cloaks were hung up; that hall stand was looking less impractically huge. Three witches in evening dresses. Harry's throat constricted. His quidditch buddies wore warm coats and woolly hats over warm trousers. These beings wore layered black, blue and green dresses and high heels. And jewellery. They all stopped to check their reflections in the mirror.
"Just into the sitting room to the left" said Harry.
Daphne was shorter than Tori, Harry realised. Odd that, though Lilith was ahem… a bit taller too. They were all significantly taller than usual. Harry saw the heels on his floors. A momentary fear of heel marks, then he relaxed, the floors were charmed undentable. "Wine" said Tori.
Harry followed the three dressed up witches into his sitting room. There was just enough furniture. Harry spoke up "Have a drink… Blaise says the caviar's okay."
Harry leaned against his wall. "So this is my house" he said.
Daphne turned from picking up a glass of wine; Blaise was pouring. Harry needed a drink. Daphne was wearing a blue-black dress that covered her shoulders and arms, but had a V in the front. There were… breasts in that V somewhere. The hem of the dress went down to mid-calf. She drank a little wine, tipped her head "We're having quiche. You have some furniture. Are you familiar with concept of understatement."
"I am.. but my elf… he's a little stuck in his ways" said Harry.
"Are we eating in here?" asked Tori.
"Harry has a space expanded dining room to your right" said Blaise. "He has… some plates and flatware."
"You mentioned a table you were not sure would expand?" said Daphne, raising her eyebrows.
"Oh the table's big enough" said Tracey "To serve a dozen"
Lilith who was sitting next to Tracy drank some wine. "Hey this is good stuff" she said, and leaned back in her green dress. She'd grown up since fourth year too. "A bit of a step up from crisps and sugared nuts."
"Oh he got us salmon on a stick yesterday" said Tori "Battered… but good"
Daphne licked her lips "delicious" she said. "Blaise hit me with some caviar"
Blaise handed a toast to Daphne, who ate it. "Oh… that is good"
Daphne turned "Catering is decent. Well done" she sipped some wine.
"There is actually quiche" said Harry defensively.
"There is wine first" said Blaise, having another gulp.
Five people drinking one bottle get one full glass each, it turns out.
Harry scratched the hair on the back of his head "Well, the dining room" he said, and walked across his hall.
Harry sat farthest from the door, feeling self-conscious about the silver candelabras and black plates and silver cutlery.
"Well, you're clearly a Black" said Blaise, eyeing the plates with three ravens.
"Come in, sit down" said Harry. "I expect the quiche will appear."
Everyone put their wineglasses down and an open bottle popped into view.
"Please everyone, sit" said Harry.
Daphne and Tori ended up sitting at the first two chairs, then Blaise next to Tracey, and Lilith on the other side.
"Kreacher, the quiche?" said Harry; the kitchen door was ajar.
A large quiche floated in on a platter, landed on the table, and was invisibly sliced.
"Please, everyone, a slice." said Harry.
Slices of quiche floated onto plates.
"Well, supper is served" said Harry. Kreacher had put asparagus in the quiche.
Everyone's wineglasses refilled.
Tracey snorted "your elf is spoiling us"
"I could get used to it" said Tori. Daphne took a sip. "Mmm, different bottle"
Blaise sipped some "Better wine in the second bottle. Very polite."
"Huh" asked Harry
"Oh, you can serve any old rubbish in the third bottle at a party" said Blaise.
"Quidditch" said Harry. "We talk quidditch."
Tracey started explain to Blaise and Lilith the game yesterday, with interjections from Tori and Daphne. When they got to the bludger breaking Pete's arm, Zabini asked Harry "Potter, you've done that. Is it as suicidal as it looks?"
"I would not recommend it" said Harry, raising his eyebrows and drinking wine.
After a few more minutes of quidditch talk, interspersed with quiche eating, the bottle ran out.
"Wine, Kreacher" said Harry, and the bottle was replaced. All glasses on the table refilled.
"How many bottles do you have?" asked Blaise
"I have no idea." admitted Harry "I expect enough for five to have a night of supper and conversation"
"Quidditch. We talk quidditch." said Tracey chuckling.
"Applebys games." said Harry. "Thought I'm not sure why."
"Daphne and Tori and Tracy live along the lane" said Lilith.
"A mile along the lane" said Tori.
"Half a mile" corrected Daphne.
"I think I saw Daphne and Tori when I was still an Auror, I did ride-alongs with the hit wizards." said Harry "And before you ask, I'm not talking about that, it was awful"
"They always dress as vintage muggle police" said Tori, shaking her head.
"They think it blends in" said Harry. "Can we talk about something else please"
"Harry Potter, nappy changer" said Tracey.
"Indeed. I am a childcare worker" said Harry. "I care for Teddy Lupin, who inherits being the head of Black from me. Before you get odd ideas, Teddy is my godson."
"Some relation of Professor Lupin?" asked Lilith.
"Son." said Harry. "His Mum and Dad died in the battle of Hogwarts. Teddy is nearly two."
"What's he like?"
"Kreacher, Teddy Baby pictures!" called Harry.
An album popped onto the table.
…
"Why is his hair changing colour" asked Tori.
"Teddy is a metamorphagus. He can change his appearance at will. He tends to .."
"Ohhh he's so cute… look he turned into baby Harry" said Lilith.
"Teddy is extremely cute, yes" said Harry. "So I look after him Monday to Friday, and cook dinner for him and Andromeda most weekends, Andromeda is a Healer at St Mungos."
"So not an Auror" said Blaise.
"No" said Harry, taking a drink.
...
"Potter" said Lilith
"Harry, my name is Harry"
"Wheres the..."
"Hallway, beside the stairs." said Harry.
There was a bit of a queuing, and going away and coming back.
"Harry, you should show us your humble cottage" said Tracey, chuckling.
Harry, squffily, showed everyone that there was a non-antiqued room; the Kitchen, and then the spare bedroom, and the upstairs bathroom, and then the nursery.
"Is this the same room" asked Tori.
"Different building, similar floor plan, very different room" said Harry.
Daphne glared at Tori. "We should go back to the sitting room" said Harry.
...
"You haven't always lived here" asked Lilith as they sat back down in the sitting room.
"No, I used to live in Sirius Blacks old townhouse in London. It belonged to his mother before him. It was dark, mouldy, doxy infested and rather evil."
"How large was it?" asked Lilith.
"Oh, three floors an an attic, I think seven, eight bedrooms. I'm on my own, so one and a spare is fine" said Harry.
"Any chance of some coffee?" asked Blaise.
"Kreacher, coffee!" said Harry.
A tall silver coffee pot appeared with cups, and a small jug of milk.
Blaise looked horrified. "Ew. British." he said. "No chance of espresso or a cappuccino?"
"No" said Harry.
"Well there you have it, Harry needs a proper coffee maker" said Blaise.
"An Italian magical coffee maker" said Daphne.
"Of course" said Blaise.
"You're the only person we know with one" said Daphne patiently.
"It's better" said Blaise, gesturing one-handed.
Blaise insisted on mixing the coffee with something Kreacher got from somewhere called Frangelico. It tasted of hazelnuts.
...
"Can we floo home; we're all a bit tipsy" said Tori.
"I'm fine" said Daphne, who then snorted.
"I haven't got a floo connection quite yet" said Harry.
"There you go Daphne, you get to sleep with Potter." said Tracey. "Blaise and I, the spare bedroom"
"I get the couch" said Lilith. "Great"
"Where will I sleep?" asked Tori
"Potter gets both sisters" giggled Tracey.
"I can get more beds, just a moment" said Harry.
"Kreacher, get me another single bed, put it in the master bedroom"
The elf appeared, bowed and popped away.
"I'll sleep on a couch, Lilith, Tori and Daphne, the master bedroom, Tracey, Blaise the spare room" said Harry.
"Oh Potter, that's a bit rough, sleeping on the couch" said Tracey
"Well gorgeous as Daphne is, I don't think I know her well enough to sleep with her" said Harry.
Daphne blushed "Oh" she said.
"If you slept with her" said Tori drunkenly "You would definitely know her well enough."
Daphne snorted and burst into giggles.
"S'okay, I'll just transfigure this into a bed" said Harry, and waved his wand at the couch Daphne was sitting on. It changed into a bed, and Daphne,losing the support of the back of the couch fell back to lie on the bed.
"Oops" said Harry "Girl on bed. Lucky me."
A pause.
"Blaise… what is frangelico" asked Harry.
"A liqueur" said Blaise cheerily.
"So we're getting drunker , drinking coffee" said Daphne, still lying on the bed.
"It's great isn't it" said Blaise. "Hey Tracey, let's go to bed"
-==0==-
Daphne woke up, at least partially, from an extremely erotic dream; where she was rubbing against... this thing… but the noise of a woman grunting drove her to wakefulness. She stopped. um.. humping the warm, soft.. oh. That was a person. A male person, so that was less embarrassing, though.. there was a hand on her breast. That was still doing distracting things… Daphne realised she had… something… breast-like in her right hand. She let it go, and slid her hand over the.. warm, slowly rising and falling… oh. She could see now, she was lying in a bed, against someone, who… someone else was…rubbing against the other side of , in, er, awkwardly a mirror image of her own position. Daphne reached her arm, for where her wand should be in it's holster, felt terrifically relieved to feel it, and stunned the person she was lying against, and the other person… the one, she'd accidentally groped a bit. Though… that lump she was still very aware of was a.. she slid her hand down. Stunned male knuckles. Daphne lit her wand up. Potter. She'd been humping Potter's hand in her sleep. And groping… oh. Astoria. Definitely lucky to have stunned first. She checked herself and she was still, yes, wearing underwear... Dress. Daphne sat up to look around. Dress was on the chest of drawers. She saw the second bed jammed into the room, over behind Astoria, and stunned the occupant. That was… Lilith. Hopefully Astoria's noises hadn't woken her. Daphne got out of the bed, and opened a drawer; Quidditch jerseys. She pulled one on over her underwear; she was covered at least now. When she'd gone to sleep, she was pretty sure, she and Astoria were chastely alone in the bed. Potter must have got up and clambered into the middle. "Levicorpus" had him out of his bed, and Daphne gingerly went downstairs, her floating unconscious host, still clothed. Whew. She put him back on the transfigured bed in the sitting room and conjured a rug to put over him. He should be fine; How he got into the bed seemed a bit mysterious. He'd been out cold on the bed when they left to go upstairs. Still, less thinking about that and more going back to bed. Daphne slipped back into Potters, frankly quite comfy bed… 'a bit less cosy without a nice warm. Stop. Down girl.' Her sister who would still be stunned for a while.. well. That was embarrassing. A pillow down the middle, and Daphne went back to sleep. The bed smelt of Potter. It was… rather pleasant, in an earthy animalistic way. She saw the glass of water on the bedside table, and drank it. 'Down girl, back to sleep.' she thought.
-==0==-
Daphne woke up in a strange bed, with a headache, and uncomfortably aware she'd slept in her underwear. She sat up.
"Oh, you're awake" said Lilith from her bed. "Just, one thing. Next time you and your sister decide to double-team Potter in the night, cast a silencing charm. One of you was making quite the noises.
Daphne got up and thought about the bathroom, and found a Jersey in the drawer.
"Oh, jersey… get me one" said Lilith, a sheet wrapped around her underwear. Lilith and Daphne wriggled out of their underwear under Quidditch jerseys. Daphne noticed Lilith's said 7 Potter.
"You're is a Potter as well" said Lilith. "I shouldn't wear it… Tori earned her last night by the sound of it"
Daphne pulled yet another jersey from the drawer, and left it on Tori's Pillow.
"Lil, I have no idea how Potter ended up in bed with us" said Daphne.
"You blacked out?"
"No, he was asleep when we all went to bed. I can only assume he got up and decided.."
"So he's a creep, and your sister..." said Lilith.
Daphne, filled with a spirit of malice, lifted the bedcovers. "She's got her knickers on"
"Oh.. well… dry humping then.. how… terrifically teen-aged of them" said Lilith.
"Tori woke me up" said Daphne "I think she might have been asleep"
"Sleep humping?"
"Potter was out cold" said Daphne. "I stunned everyone and put Potter back downstairs.
Daphne, you are a bastion of decency in a world of vice" said Lilith. "I'll give you first pee."
Daphne guiltily went downstairs in the jersey. Voices; sounded like Tracey and Blaise come from the dining room. Daphne avoided all that and went back upstairs to wash and get dressed. Potter's shower was quite good, and his towels were new and fluffy. Lilith was waiting in a quidditch jersey as she left the bathroom "Like being back in dorms. Except for the noisy shagging" said Lilith.
Daphne blushed.
-==0==-
Harry woke up without having nightmares. But with a splitting headache.
There was something odd about his bed. And his bedroom was all wrong too. The light was coming from the wrong direction.
For some reason he could smell perfume. It smelt… nice, but his head felt awful.
He opened his eyes and looked blearily around. He was lying on his couch… transfigured into a bed, in his sitting room. He also had a terrible hangover. Or someone had hit him with a powerful stunner, and a normal hangover. Memorises of last night filtered in… everyone had stayed the night. Should get that hall fireplace onto the floo. And talk to Daffyd about getting an extension; there needed to be a library, and another full-sized bedroom. As Harry looked around, he thought… behind the bathroom; knock it out; the loo could go under the front stairs.
…
Harry can hear people moving around and apart from getting a large glass of water from Kreacher. Harry lay low. Once he hears more people talking, Harry rises, takes a pee, and goes into the dining room. Kreachers'd laid on cooked breakfast in silver pans. Harry loaded a plate and sat down, still unable to bring himself to speak.
Blaise Zabini and Tracey are sitting drinking tea, side by side, looking happy. They must have had nice night.
"Hungover?" Blaise asks Harry. Harry nods.
Daphne arrived and served herself breakfast; her hair wet. She sits and informs the table "Lilith's having a shower, Tori's still asleep. She sleeps late a lot" Tracey nodded.
Tori appears before Lilith, her hair messy, having clearly just dragged her dress on and stumbled down in stockinged feet. "Oh, scrummy" she says and served herself black-pudding and eggs.
She starts eating without talking to anyone. Daphne eats eggs and toast, waiting.
"How are you" Daphne asked her sister, with a look.
"Feeling good" said Tori "A bit thirsty.. from all Potter's wine, but good"
"Potion?" asked Daphne.
"I'm good" said Tori cheerfully.
Lilith appeared, and complained "There's only one little rasher of bacon left"
Harry sighed "The local muggle shop charges a lot for bacon, and I usually only keep a small supply"
"You don't have land for a pig?" asked Tori.
"Just the quidditch pitch behind the house section" said Harry.
"You have your own pitch, and so few rooms" asked Blaise.
"Dad's priorities, not mine. I didn't think I'd have house guests" said Harry.
"What happened to Ginny Weasley" asked Lilith, giving Daphne a 'you woke me up, I'm gonna make a fuss' look.
"I um.." said Harry. "I… I have things to do, Teddy and all, and um… she… she doesn't like how things with work turned out" said Harry.
The room full of ex-Slytherins stared at Harry, and then ignored him, to eat.
"So she was okay with you being an Auror?" asked Lilith after a break.
"Didn't give her nightmares" said Harry bitterly. The room silenced briefly at that statement.
"Kreacher" called Harry. The elf appeared with a soft pop.
"Clean up breakfast, I think my guests are leaving" said Harry firmly.
"Will master's witches be staying?" asked Kreacher.
"What?" asked Harry, stopping.
"The white and brown hair ones. They were in master's bed, so Kreacher helped Master back to bed" said Kreacher.
Daphne went red in the face. Tori looked confused. Lilith went red and started to cough.
"Your elf is um, very very old fashioned" said Lilith.
Harry looked worried "Kreacher, are you saying you put me in the same bed as Miss Greengrass and Miss Greengrass" said Harry, pointing to Daphne and Tori.
"Master was asleep in the sitting room." said Kreacher.
"So how did I get back there" asked Harry.
"Er, that was me" said a flushed Daphne "I woke up and found… one more person than I expected in the bed."
"What, How?" asked Harry.
Blaise had gone pinkey brown and was holding his hand over his mouth. Tracey's eyes were large as saucers, and she pointed at Kreacher "That's one… single-minded elf" she said, before dissolving into giggles.
"I um, stunned everyone and put you back downstairs" explained Daphne.
Lilith smirked a bit and looked at the ceiling.
"Kreacher, you nearly started a domestic" said Harry, looking at Daphne, ashen.
"I stun first and ask questions later" said Daphne.
Harry nodded weakly and took a deep breath. "Kreacher, the witches in my bed were not expecting me to be there. There could have been violence" Harry paused, going a bit green "If Daphne hadn't been so … sensible" he said, trying to take a breath and failing.
Harry struggled to take another breath, his chest constricting as if a snake was crushing him.
"Potter? Are you all right?" asked Blaise.
"Can't breathe..." choked Harry, shaking in his chair.
"He's having some sort of fit" said Daphne "Tori, your potion?"
Astoria rummaged in a robe pocket and handed a vial of silvery potion to Daphne, who got up and rushed around the table to press it to Harry's lips. "Drink this, it might help" said Daphne.
Harry opened his mouth, and the potion tipped in.
After a what seemed like a minute of being watched by nervous guests, his shaking slowed and the took a strangled breath, then another rasping breath.
"Does this happen a lot" asked Tracey, looking worried.
Harry panted "I don't want to talk about it" he said.
"This is why you're not an Auror anymore" said Daphne.
Harry's breath was returning to normal-ish, but his hands shook "Can you all leave please" he asked shakily.
"Potter, you aren't well." said Daphne. "Does this happen often" she asked.
"Stress" said Harry, panting.
Daphne sat on a nearby chair "I'm staying till your breathing is back to normal" she said.
"I'll get mum" said Tori.
Tracey, Blaise and Lilith stood up and filed out to the hall. "The man who lived, barely" said Lilith as Tori followed then.
"Dyings easy" said Harry "Coming back's hard"
"What?" said Daphne.
"That's the secret to faking dying to fool Voldemort. Just die" said Harry bitterly. "Its not even that scary. Having hit-wizards call me a handy killer; that's shit"
Daphne put her hand to her mouth "Oh" she said.
"So I've seen the job, seen a man and wife hexing each other through walls… killed three burglars who were stealing bloody parchment, for gods sake." said Harry. "People suck."
"Any witch stupid enough to stay with a wizard that hexes her should be flogged" said Daphne. "Any sensible witch would apparate off and come back later, and get her things in safety." Daphne concluded.
"Well I'm a Griffindor, and they hate bloody Griffindor couples. Can't put two lions in one cage" said Harry bitterly.
"That .. was it hit wizards?" asked Daphne. Harry nodded.
"That really got to you" she said. Harry nodded "Auror captain wanted me as a door kicker. Everyone's afraid of Harry Potter."
"Including Harry Potter" said Daphne sharply.
...
Multiple cracks of apparation sounded from the hall.
"You can bugger off" said Harry.
"I will stay until I am convinced you're not going to keel over" said Daphne.
"Oh you a healer? Trainee"
"No. I work for Father, learning the family business. We import goods" said Daphne, slightly bitterly.
"But you'd rather be a healer"
"I inherit, so I run the family business"
"Couldn't Tori do that?" asked Harry.
Daphne took a deep breath "That is none of your fucking business" she said.
"Well, why don't you fuck off, and let me be alone" said Harry.
"Because we're your friends, Potter. You're funny, kind and smart when you forget to act dumb." said Daphne. "My mother is a healer, she can work out what potion you need"
"Can't fix everything with potions" said Harry sourly.
"I am perfectly well aware of that, you sulky arse" said Daphne "You will be titillated to know I was woken by the sound of Tory humping your arm and leg."
"You" Harry swallowed. "Crikey" he said. "But… Malfoy"
"You were in the bed." said Daphne. "That seemed to be what mattered"
Harry smiled "And I did get both Greengrass sisters in my bed, like Tracey said"
Daphne narrowed her eyes and glared at Harry.
"Even if I was unconscious for it." said Harry.
"If you ever speak of this to anyone, I will hunt you down with cunning and malice." said Daphne.
"So why tell me?" asked Harry.
"You needed a confidence boost." said Daphne.
Harry sniffed his left hand "Hmm… a bit musky" he said, then blushed. "You weren't kidding" said Harry in a small voice, sniffing his arm "Mmmm perfume"
Daphne sat waiting for the ego boost to stabilise.
Harry looked at his trousers "Oh. All creased on that leg… and that leg… blimey. I had no idea that was a thing"
Daphne blushed faintly.
Harry sniffed his right hand and snorted. "Cor, both hands." he said , then sniffed his right arm, and looked confused. He leaned over a tiny bit and sniffed near Daphne.
"So, Miss Greengrass, was I any good?" asked Harry. Daphne blushed "You were asleep. And so was I" she said tightly.
"Did Tori really wake you?" asked Harry.
"She was being… noisy, in her sleep" said Daphne, beet red.
Harry sat back in his chair, a silly smile on his face "Two witches… wow. Shame I was asleep"
"I assure you, it was all a terrible accident" said Daphne.
"Orchestrated by my maniacal house elf" said Harry. "Still, at least Tori enjoyed it"
Daphne blushed.
"Oh you didn't?" said Harry. "I don't know if I should feel flattered or apologetic" said Harry.
"I am going to curse you" said Daphne sourly.
"No you're not, and I won't speak of it. I'll keep it as a thought, for casting a patronus with" said Harry, snorting.
"Don't be an arse Harry" said Daphne
"I'm the one that got used in my sleep" said Harry.
"That sounds a lot worse when you say it" said Daphne.
Harry sniffed his shirt "Why does my shirt smell funny?" asked Harry.
"No" said Daphne. "It doesn't"
Harry sniffed his shirt. "Hmm… smells like wildflowers, mown grass and broomstick wax." he said, and paled. "Crap" he said. "Kreacher, get in here you little shit!"
Kreacher appeared with a loud pop.
"Kreacher did you pour anything on me when you put me in the bed?" asked Harry.
"Yes master, the good potion. Kreacher saved it for master. Make lots of little masters"
"Kreacher, did you pour love potion on my shirt?" demanded Harry.
"Yes" said Kreacher.
"Kreacher, go away, and don't talk to me again today" said Harry.
Daphne had stopped blushing and looked angry. "So… turns out the elf dosed my shirt with something. I'd guess Amortentia or something like it."
"That explains last night" said Daphne, paling, and putting a hand to her mouth.
"Does doesn't it. I'm terribly sorry." said Harry.
"It's not your fault" said Daphne. "I feel… a bit..."
"Soiled" said Harry. "I think we all would. Are you going to tell Tori?"
"No" said Daphne. "She was asleep."
"Okay" said Harry. "I'm going to wash and get into something less toxic"
"Please do" said Daphne, noticing as he left that Harry's shirt smelt exactly like the rest of his bed, musky, and … well Harry. 'Looks like my mental health's not getting any better either' she thought.
Tori reappeared with mum, who had her light brown hair in a ponytail.
"Is anyone pregnant?" asked Mum.
"No" said Daphne. "Harry had some sort of...panic attack."
"Where's the host?" asked Mum, looking around in a green healers robe. "Fancy antiques."
Harry reappeared a bit later, wet haired in a clean shirt and pants.
"You're Harry, I'm Roxanne Greengrass, I'm a healer, and I'd like to ask some questions."
Harry sat glumly and Roxanne sat a chair away. The sisters walked over and stood in the hall, not quite out of earshot.
"What happens?"
"I can't breathe." said Harry "My chest gets tight, and I shake"
"Caused by?" asked Roxanne in a very cold, clinical tone.
"Stress" said Harry.
"Please?" asked Roxanne.
"I've had nightmares for ages. Years. I started Auror training, did some ride-alongs" said Harry bitterly.
"Ride alongs?" asked Roxanne, not understanding.
"With the hit wizards, to learn about ordinary law enforcement" said Harry.
"And" asked Roxanne.
"A really ugly domestic. I can't stop remembering it, nightmares of it. It's so stupid, they just kept hexing each other." said Harry, scrunching his hair with both hands.
"And?" asked Roxanne.
"I killed three burglars the next night" said Harry. "Keep seeing their faces"
"You're not a killer" said Roxanne.
"I killed my first man when I was eleven" said Harry. "I've killed… I dunno how many"
"It was a war. The war is over. You can stop" said Roxanne.
"So I did. I garden, and look after my godson. He's two. He's a metamorphagus..."
"Thank you" said Roxanne. "You aren't cut out for that kind of life" she said.
"And I can't breathe… I even see my girlfriend's face on the witch from the domestic" said Harry.
"The hit-wizards talked to you, about life, about not putting two Griffindors in one house?"
"Yes. It really gets to me" admitted Harry.
"Well, Harry Potter, you're healthier than you think. You're afraid of snapping" said Roxanne kindly.
"I already have" said Harry.
"You need… a potion for long-term stress. I'll find the right one, and get it for you." said Roxanne, "And then you can stop having panic attacks, till then, keep calming draft handy"
"Will I be cured?" asked Harry.
"No. You'll be hurt still. But once you've had the potion enough times, you'll not keel over from stressful situations"
"Oh, that sounds good" said Harry. "But not cured?"
"I can't cure you having had the sort of life that causes most people to give up. I can probably give you the ability to just… keep going, do what you want to."
"Can you take your… daughters away" asked Harry.
"Well, yes." said Roxanne. "You need some quiet"