Ride Along: Chapter Ten: It's not the end of the world.
In prison for murder he did commit.
Harry is taken by guards back to DMLE, where his effects are placed in a paper bag marked with his Inmate ID. The Guard doing this, a thin-faced man with bad teeth says "Mister Potter, I'd like to say … we understand what you did, and um… you're all right."
Harry is given some striped trousers and shirt; which are an oddly thick material.
Harry looks up the guard
"Oh, well, me and the boys thought, seeing as how it was Dennis what made you think days were months, we might… make things a bit easier for you."
In thick woollen trousers and shirt, with shoes on, Harry is taken by portkey to the Azkaban ferry.
He's handed off to a prison guard "Receiving 819 13" they say.
The guard gives him a cloak "It's a bad day on the water" says the guard.
"Why is everyone being nice to me?" asked Harry.
"Well, you see, it's kind-of our problem innit" said the guard. "Lewisham was one of ours and he nearly killed you, messed up your mind…"
"But I really did kill him" said Harry.
"Self defence" said the guard. "And the article in the Prophet about what happened to your memory… that's sick that is. Thinking two months was four years"
"But I did four years for murdering Ginny Weasley" said Harry; and over the top of the guard appeared the magical sign 'This memory has been tampered with. Actual time served two months for assault.'
"You all right Mr Potter?" asked the guard.
"Just… there's this magical sign pops up when I remember the last trial; tells me I did two months for assault" said Harry.
The guard pales "So it's not fixed?" he asks "What if you saw her? She's with the Harpies, right?"
"I saw her " said Harry "and had a fit, the brain bleed ruined my sense of balance, can't fly a broom."
The guard doesn't talk to Harry again on the trip, and he and another guard escort Harry into the prison and into minimum security.
"I was sentenced to medium security" said Harry.
"Ah, well, it's… full" said the guard "So you'll have to stay here" he said and opened a steel door into a stony cell. It looks very familiar. Harry sits down on the stone bed.
The guard he talked to on the boat throws him a bundle; it's the cloak he wore on the boat.
They pull the door shut and lock it with a clunk. Harry sits, already bored, and waits to feel the chill of Dementors. It's definitely cold here, but he doesn't feel much more depressed. The sunlight slowly fades.
That night a food tray arrives with a rattle through the slot. It has green gunk in one partition and a bread bun perched incongruously atop it. Harry eats it, and the green gunk is definitely a spinach stew. Its… not that bad and the bun's big enough to eat it with.
Harry wraps himself in the cloak and goes to sleep.
Seven sunsets later, all with spinach stew and bread-buns, someone unlocks his door.
"Parcel for you, Mister Potter" says the Guard, bringing in a parcel loosely wrapped in brown paper. "We had to open it… rules is rules."
Harry takes the bundle, confused. In it is a self-inking quill, a bundle of parchment and the pile of notes from his desk. A letter sits atop it:
'Harry,
Seeing that you are in Azkaban for a year, I took the liberty of gathering up your notes and parchment so you can get some work done.
I will speak to you in person about your choices in a few weeks when I have organised daytime care for Teddy.
Andromeda Tonks'
Harry looks at he guard "My aunt… she's coming to visit."
The guard winks at Harry "An Aunt" he says.
"No really, it's my Aunt" said Harry. "Besides, that sort of thing isn't allowed, is it."
"Well, a few galleons in the right place…" said the guard.
Harry has a busy day re-reading his notes.
The next morning he re-reads the letter to reassure himself that he's not dreaming.
'Harry,
Seeing that you are in Azkaban for a year, I took the liberty of gathering up your notes and parchment so you can get some work done.
I will speak to you in person about your choices in a few weeks when I have organised daytime care for Teddy.
Andromeda Tonks
P.S. Tear letter into postage stamp sized pieces and soak in stew. One per day should do it.'
A postscript has appeared overnight.
Harry tears a piece off the bottom of the letter and that night soaks it in his stew.
The parchment swells up and goes brown, turning into a brown waxy blob. Harry nibbles it experimentally. It is a very, very sweet fatty chocolate.
Fortified with chocolate, unable to feel Dementors, with a cloak, Harry sleeps.
Harry's seven pieces of chocolate into his year when a guard unlocks his door. Harry puts all his papers in the brown paper wrapper and stands up.
"81913 You've got a visitor, come along" said the Guard from behind a brightly lit wand.
The guard's lit wand makes it hard to see but Harry is pulled along to a different room with a wooden door. He sits on one of the two chairs provided at a wooden table and waits. It's a lot warmer here and the barred window lets in more light.
After five minutes, a tall brown haired witch in a heavy cloak comes in and speaks.
"You are the most foolhardy man in the world". It is Andromeda.
After the door closes she says more angrily "You went to Azkaban to protect a house elf! You are the stupidest person I've ever met!"
"He saved my life." said Harry "It's only fair."
"How is the food?" asked Andromeda.
"There's bread with the stew" said Harry.
"The Sirius Black foundation have been lobbying for more humane treatment of prisoners" said Andromeda. "I have a large sheaf of parchment for you as well" she winks.
Harry rolls his eyes. "I haven't felt a Dementor yet" he admits.
"In medium security?" asked Andromeda.
"Well yeah, about that" said Harry "The guard said medium is full so I'm in low."
"Azkaban is at it's lowest level of occupancy in years" said Andromeda quietly.
"Well the guards… they gave me a cloak and let me keep my shoes" said Harry "They're a bit apologetic, Lewisham was one of theirs."
"Lewisham was a second cousin once removed" said Andromeda "One of Bella's cousins by marriage after all, little crawler was trying to get all the LeStrange assets."
Andromeda take a bundle out of her cloak and slides over a large loosely wrapped parcel.
"Do the guards know about the chocolate?" asked Harry.
"It's… common knowledge that things get smuggled in" said Andromeda "Like the quill you have… it's also a very bad wand for warming charms."
"Warming charms" said Harry "That's… bloody brilliant."
"You'll find it a very bad wand" said Andromeda. "And don't do a Sirius and escape."
"I can't turn into a dog" said Harry. "Never learnt how."
Andromeda reached into her cloak and handed over a book and a small packet
"I've read the summary.. its will take the best part of a year to learn, and can't be rushed. Don't try actually doing it; without someone with a wand you could get stuck and die."
"Did you have to bribe the guards?" asked Harry.
"Remarkably little" said Andromeda. "They clearly read the news."
"It's all through the news?"
"The quibbler apparently ran a bonus issue all about your previous trial and subsequent confounding. They had interviews with your friends, and the Weasleys. There was nearly a riot in Diagon Alley, and the Minister had to make a press statement. The usual stuff, no proof, but DMLE will investigate" said Andromeda. "The Sirius Black foundation went on the attack the next day, held a rally in the Atrium at the ministry. Lots of ex-convicts and their families. The Prophet of course ran an extra page the next day. If Lewisham had lived to be questioned , well Perswith says you'd walk, and Lewsiham would get life in prison."
Harry is taken back to his cell, stacks his 'parchment' carefully and sleeps.
The next day, a crushing cold freezes the cell door and Harry can feel the world getting worse. He tries to think of something happy and everything he thinks of slips from his mind.
Desperate, he grabs the quill and tries to cast a patronuis. "Expecto Patronum" he cries but the quill emits not a stag, but a small, toadstool sized puff of silver mist.
Harry can hear the distant sound of screaming. He recognises the voice. Hi mum.
Eventually the feeling of dying in cold water stops and Harry can sit up.
That night Harry uses several inches of dehydrated chocolate and afterwards feels a bit better. He can't remember something now…. The memory of holding Teddy … it's getting fuzzy.
Harry sleeps, it's always cold now.
The next morning he tried to cast a warming charm and it works. He casts it over and over till he's actually warm. He thinks about how he killed the bastard who stole three years of his life and feels… not happy, but vindicated.
Andromeda visits in the warmer part of the year and brings a cardboard box.
"The guards thought it was very amusing" she explains, opening the box.
It's a cake. A cake in the shape of a file, covered in icing. It's been cut into pieces.
"They had to check it didn't actually have a file in it" she says. "How have you been?"
"The dementors come around every month or so" said Harry "They're taking my happy memories."
"Well it's your birthday, and this is your cake." she says, blinking away tears.
Harry eats a small piece. It's incredibly fatty and sweet.
"It's as many calories as we can jam into a cake" said Andromeda. "The box is… special cardboard."
Harry nods "I've had to use a lot to take notes of Dementor visits. The wand can't cast a Patronus."
"I did say it was very poor wand" said Andromeda.
Harry gets two textbooks finished in Azkaban. He'd feel proud of that but the Dementors took that memory too.
Harry leaves Azkaban and is released. Outside the DMLE door, a nervous looking wizard in brown striped robes takes his shaking hand "Mister Potter, I'm Barry Weeks, from the Sirius Black foundation" Weeks takes Harry to a safe-house, where he's washed, given some potions and gets a check-up from a Healer in green robes called Sommersby. "You're in very good condition for a year" said Summersby, who's got straight black hair and looks like Snape's aunt, if he had one.
"I had dehydrated chocolate" said Harry. "And the guards gave me a cloak."
The healer took notes. "Dehydrated chocolate and a cloak. Shoes clearly helped too."
"Warm feet" said Harry, not mentioning the quill.
"How are your memories?" asked the healer bluntly.
"All but the good ones are intact" said Harry. "I remember that I used to have some things I'd remember… good times. Now I have holes, I can sort of piece together what they were… but I can't remember them."
Summersby's face twisted in anger "I knew Dennis. I thought he was doing good things. And then he gets greedy and tortures you. Bastard."
"Remembering he's dead still makes me… not Happy, but..."
"Vindicated?" asked Summersby.
"Nah.. less triumph more… at least I got the bastard that did it" said Harry.
"Well, I don't usually congratulate prisoners for feeling no remorse, but Mister Potter, apart from slight starvation and vitamin deficiencies, you're as good as any we've had out of Azkaban. Your Aunt will by taking you home."
Andromeda arrives later, in rumpled green robes and talked Harry to his cottage by apparation.
He stands, wobbly in his front hall. It's warmer than he remembers it being. He turns and the fireplace is blazing merrily.
"I had Kreacher light all the fires. Grumpy old bastards' excited to see you" said Andromeda.
Harry puts his parcels down; the books he wrote in prison, and peers into the drawing room.
Which is now a study, apparently, and lined with dark red padded leather. Its… opulent, smells of oiled leather and beeswax and parchment, and has a writing desk, a buttoned leather couch and a matching armchair chair over by the fireplace. On the far wall is a door where the windows used to be.
"MacBride's finished a couple of months ago and Kreacher, Granger and I rearranged things" said Andromeda. "Teddy likes the study, hides in the bookshelves."
"Where's Teddy?" asked Harry.
"He ah, is with the Weasleys, they're looking after him days" said Andromeda.
"So no sitting room" asked Harry.
"You have a new room for that" said Andromeda, leading Harry to the dining room, steadying his stagger. The dining room is it's usual ridiculous excess, but where the window was is a glass paned door.
Andromeda opened the door and Harry's looking into a room twice the size of the dining room with a polished wooden floor. It looks like half the ceiling is glass, letting in fading daylight.
"A room for events" said Andromeda.
"Looks like a ballroom" muttered Harry.
"Also set up for duelling, and your friend Granger insisted it also have a Billiards and ping-ping table" said Andromeda. "See this button board?"
Andromeda helped Harry in and pointed to brass buttons on a wooden panel by the door
"The ones with sun's are lights, the empty box is the current setting, and it has a couches and tables, billiards and ping pong button too. Hermione said she got the idea from a room at Hogwarts?"
Harry smiled. His very own room of sort-of-requirement.
Harry looked at the empty room. The left wall had several large sliding doors. "What's the room behind all these closed doors?" asked Harry.
Andromeda helped Harry to the doors and slid one open. There was a library the size of Harry's dining room, with bookshelves to the ceiling, many couches, and a fireplace. There were a few books on the shelves. Harry stumbled over.
Al Norma's textbooks, in French and English. Harry turned to Andromeda "I've done years three and four" he said. "I feel a bit like Lockheart having my own books in my library."
"We've discussed having multiple sets in case you taught a class" said Andromeda.
"No" said Harry. "Not now."
"Well, you'll have to go to Gringotts and get your books out of storage" said Andromeda. "You'll have a lot of shelf space to fill still."
She led him back to the corner of the library though a door into the study. "So you can refer to books while you write" said Andromeda.
"It's all a bit grand" said Harry. "The furniture was bad enough, now it's like a tiny manor."
Andromeda silently helped Harry upstairs; his legs trembled. Andromeda frowned "More potions for you young man" she said.
Harry opened his own bedroom door and found his room bigger, with a dressing table and no wardrobe or drawers. Where the dormer should be, the roof had been raised and there is a wide doorway.
Harry opened it and there was a room half the size of his bedroom again, of just shelves and cupboards, with doors. "What's this?" asked Harry.
"A walk-in wardrobe" said Andromeda.
"I don't own enough clothes to fill a quarter of this" said Harry.
"It's double sized for your spouse" said Andromeda.
"My nonexistent girlfriend" said Harry sarcastically, and staggered to the far door, which opened into an opulent white bathroom again, half the size of his bedroom. It had a shower, a bath, a loo, and something like a loo. There was a bathroom cabinet with two sinks on the far wall, and the room had windows all over the ceiling, making it very bright.
"Andromeda, this bathroom is a bit over the top" said Harry.
Andromeda came and looked over Harry's shoulder "Not really" said Andromeda "You did say you wanted an upstairs toilet."
"So people have to traipse though my wardrobe to get to it?" asked Harry.
"There's an upstairs loo by the third bedroom" said Andromeda. "Old MacBride was quite insistent this be a luxury bathroom. He thinks you've been hard done by."
"I grew up in the cupboard under the stairs, this is all a bit much" said Harry.
"I found your little nest" said Andromeda evenly "I have a set of potions and an amulet for you, and significant doors now have locks. You can lock the master bedroom, the study; from the inside, and close and lock off the library. Kreacher has been instructed that if you sleep in the cupboard you are to be woken, given a potion for stress and taken to bed. In your actual bed. Having multiple witches in the bed waiting is up to you" she says.
Harry blushes.
Teddy won't speak to Harry that evening. Andromeda's look over Teddy's bright red hair says it all.
Andromeda says very simply after dinner "Harry, unless you have a social event, you will be having dinner with us every night." Teddy glares at Harry. "Bad Harry" said Teddy.
Harry floos home, puts on the sleep amulet and takes the potion.
Weeks go by.
Harry dreams of being free.
Then he starts dreaming of interrogating Lewisham, making him confess.
Hermione, on a rare visit to her reclusive friend says "Lewishams dead , he can't confess."
Harry starts to ruminate about this.
Finally, one wet Tuesday, Harry puts on a hooded cloak, takes a walking stick and gets Kreacher to help him to Hogsmeade, and goes into the forbidden forest.
The forest has grown a little since the war, but Harry remembers the way quite well.
The clearing where Voldemort killed him is right where he thinks it was.
Harry starts looking around for the stone he dropped, what seems like a lifetime ago.
Harry's got his head down, looking for pebbles when something jumps on him.
Harry rolls and there's an acromantula the size of a pony gnashing on his cloak.
Harry's wand flicks and a stunning spell bounces off the huge spider.
The spider pounces and bites into his raised arm. Bastard thing hurts.
Harry shoves his wand into it's mouth and casts "Bombarda".
The spider's head explodes into greenish gore. Harry looks at his left arm. That's a big spider bite.
"Accio stone" Harry casts and a muddy pebble comes to Harry from the churned mud.
"Kreacher!" Harry calls.
Kreacher appears with a pop, looking worried. "Master is injured" croaks Kreacher.
"A bezoar Kreacher, quickly" said Harry.
Kreacher pops away and reappears very quickly holding a flaky white stone. Harry swallows it and after wiping his wand with his ruined cloak, casts 'Aquamenti' and drinks water to wash it down. A bit of cloak serves as a bandage.
"If I had the wand' I'd have the set" said Harry.
"Master needs wand, where shall Kreacher take Master?" asked Kreacher.
"Dumbledore's' grave" said Harry and Kreacher popped him away to the white marble tomb.
"It's in there" said Harry "But we spelled it shut."
Kreacher crouches down and vanishes with a pop, reappearing, covered in slimy filth, holding a pale wand.
"Kreacher apologies for Kreacher's appearance Master" says Kreacher , handing over the white wand.
Harry waves the wand at Kreacher and Kreacher is clean.
Harry point the wand stupidly to his head "Reparo!" he casts, and sees double.
He puts the wand in his sleeve "Kreacher, take me home" he says.
Harry sees double for days, but apart from Dinner with Andromeda and a sulking Teddy, sits in his library, looking at the short pile of books.
Once he can see only one of things, he writes a cover latter and sends the two new textbooks to his publisher.
Harry stands up from the desk and goes to the dining room, where Kreacher serves lunch.
Harry puts on a warm coat and goes to the quidditch game over at Banchory. He leans on his walking stick, but feels a little less wobbly today.
Finally a Appleby game happens, but it's over at Kenmare, of all places, So Harry has to take a portkey from the portkey office. He's got a light blue scarf on.
He sees some familiar looking people portkey away before it's his turn.
At the game, he gravitates to the small group of Appleby fans.
The team's outclassed, make forty points and lose by two hundred and ten.
Harry portkey's back to England, and apparated to Appleby.
The pub isn't expanded today, and hardly anyone went to the game.
As the supporters drag themselves in, more people arrive, wanting to hear tale of the game.
Harry's mates arrive and sit near him but don't talk to him.
Finally, Daphne Greengrass breaks the silence, looking a bit lined and tired "You really are a murderer" she says bluntly.
"Lewisham panicked, he thought there was a risk of um, us getting together, would would make the succession change, so He attacked me at home" said Harry.
"You've been to Azkaban twice." said Daphne "You are not an acceptable suitor."
Harry nods politely to Daphne and goes home from the pub; her non-sequitur rattling in his skull.
The next day, Harry has a plan. None of his friends are around, so he takes Kreacher, who seems quite happy to be "working with master". Harry sends his lawyer a letter and spends the next two days writing notes for the fifth year text.
Headmistress McGonagall sends Al Norma a letter thanking Al for the third and fourth year texts, which Harry's publisher supplies to Hogwarts at two sickles a copy, Harry getting one each.
Harry's lawyer's reply letter is short and to the point.
Harry and Kreacher go to a perfectly ordinary church in Dorset somewhere, and walk into the churchyard. Over by the back fence is a newish plot. Harry's balance is coming back. 'Maybe using that wand wasn't such a bad idea' he thinks.
The grave is Dennis Lewisham. Harry draws the white wand and casts a muggle repelling charm, then a digging charm. All the dirt humps out of the grave and flops on a heap beside it. Lewisham's coffin is cheap and rotten looking. Harry swishes and flicks and the lid pops off. Lewisham is a stinky awful mess.
Harry takes the black pebble out of his pocket and turns it. Lewisham's corpse inflates back into a semblance of a human and opens it's eyes.
Lewisham screams.
Harry glares at his last murder victim "Shut it" he says. Lewisham shuts his mouth and sits up.
"How did you bring me back... I was dead" said Lewisham.
"Well, old family secret" said Harry. "Come on cousin, you're going to make a statement to the DMLE."
Lewisham grimaces and climbs out of his own grave. He ends up covered in mud and he's already covered in residue of decomposing for a year.
"Scourgifiy" casts Harry and Lewisham looks like a hygienic animated corpse. His funeral robes are wrecked.
Harry conjures a robe for Lewisham, covered in pink skulls.
"They're pink" observes Lewisham woodenly.
"Kreacher hide this" says Harry, waving unsteadily at the grave. Kreacher nods.
Harry side-along apparated Lewisham to the Ministry, and takes him to the DMLE.
The security wizard was going to ask questions, but Lewisham is the spitting image of an Inferii, so he just lets Harry and Lewisham walk on in.
Harry stops at the Hit-Wizards reception desk "Dennis here would like to make a confession" said Harry. He glares at Lewisham, who nods slowly.
The hit-wizard brings a DMLE lawyer to an interview room.
"This is quite irregular" said the Lawyer, a witch called Binkersly.
"Well" said Harry "I was busy at Azkaban."
Lewishams' postmortem confession makes front page news.
Harry puts an increasingly frantic Lewisham back in the grave.
"I hate you" says Lewisham as Harry turns the stone and Lewisham collapses into his coffin.
"Feelings' mutual" said Harry, and filled the grave in.
"Are we raising any more corpses" asked Kreacher.
"Just that one" said Harry "Lets go home."
The Daily Prophet goes wild covering the story. "Man-Who-Lived framed" they exaggerate.
Harry' get a polite letter from DMLE four days later telling him his murder conviction has been removed from his record. And asking him not to bring walking corpses into the office ever again.
Harry goes back that night to Lewishams grave and pisses on it. It's quite satisfying.
The next day, his lawyer starts the process for seizing all the LeStrange assets for Harry.
"Nearest relative" said Harry sarcastically putting down the letter from his lawyer "Two can play that game."
-==0==-
An Applebys game occurs.
The Applebys supporters return to the pub after another loss.
"You got yourself pardoned" said Daphne Greengrass, over a pint of cider.
"Well, I did want to be Harry Potter, who killed in self-defence, not Harry Potter, murderer" said Harry.
"And the bit where you got all the LeStrange money?"
"Well, lucky me" said Harry.
…
"You having a dinner party anytime soon?" asked Tracey.
"Quiche?" asked Harry.
"Oh you going to have an orgy with both Greengrass sisters afterwards again" asked Tracey.
"I think one is probably enough" said Harry.
...
"You are an optimist" said Daphne.
"I live in hope" said Harry. "I still remember..."
"Really?" asked Daphne.
"No that's a lie… the Dementors took that memory" admitted Harry.
Daphne Greengrass looked at Harry Potter and blinked. "You're shitting me" she said.
"No, they take anything you liked to remember" said Harry.
Daphne Greengrass apparated away with a loud crack.
Tracey rounded on Harry "You pillock" said Tracey "Daphne was all… thinking you were thinking for her… and you can't remember the good bits. It was a bit sickening, but it kept her from getting too bloody fretful for the year you spent in prison. Now you've told her you didn't spend it smiling, thinking of all your special moments with her. Crush a girls ego Potter."
"Azkaban sucks" said Harry simply.
Harry goes home and as he's at a bit of loose end, and goes to see Andromeda.
..."So then she apparated away" said Harry.
"Good" said Andromeda. "A pub after a Quidditch match, how awful. Send her some flowers."
Harry goes home and waves the elder wand "Orchadareous."
"Kreacher. These are for Miss Daphne Greengrass at Greengrass Manor" said Harry.
"Master is courting one of his pureblood witches?" asked Kreacher.
"The blonde" said Harry. "Without potions."
"Master should give her jewellery" said Kreacher, then popped off holding the bundle of flowers.
Harry takes breakfast with Andromeda. "I sent Daphne flowers" he said, looking at his plate.
"Good" said Andromeda.
"Kreacher said I should give her jewellery."
Andromeda coughed tea through her nose. "Do not get dating advice from Kreacher. He's very old and quite mad" said Andromeda. "You could, if you were being very old fashioned give her some sort of gift after a date. After not before."
Harry buys another Appleby's scarf and wears it to the next match he attends.
After the next Appleby's match, where Daphne is slightly huffy with him, he offers her the scarf.
"Miss Greengrass… a small token of my esteem for you" said Harry, feeling stupid.
Daphne stops, she was just about to Apparate home and takes the scarf.
"Thank you Harry" she says and puts the scarf around her neck. Harry misses the look on her face as she inhales.
"Daphne…. Dinner some time this week?" asks Harry "Not quiche and potions" he quips.
Daphne blushes. "I'll owl you if I have a good time" she says.
Four days later Harry gets an owl.
Daphne arrives at seven thirty, with fine lines around her eyes; but her hair's up in that complicated updo again and she's wearing a dark blue dress Harry is sure is familiar.
Harry escorts her to the dining room, hardly stumbling at all, and, once he's got chair-back to hang onto, makes a pretty good go of helping Daphne into a chair.
Harry sits opposite her and Kreacher invisibly serves some soup.
Harry's a little alarmed because the soup is cold but Daphne doesn't remark on it. Maybe the soup is supposed to be cold.
Daphne dabs at her lips with a napkin "Good vichyssoise" she says.
Harry takes a rather large gulp of wine. Daphne shakes her head "Ease up on the wine Potter, you'll be asleep before the meals finished."
Harry stops drinking.
The main course is beef wellington and Harry's a bit ticked off. Kreacher's been holding back.
"This is rather good" said Daphne. "My compliments to the chef."
Harry can't think what to say so talks about the textbooks.
Daphne finally reaches some sort of mental limit and starts complaining about healer training. Andromeda is apparently, a hard marker and Daphne complains "I thought she would have been nicer to me, considering who I am."
"I've found recently, people are hardly nicer to me for who I am" said Harry.
"You did kill that Lewisham bastard" said Daphne.
"Not a bastard, just a vicious cousin" said Harry. They ate some more.
"How did you feel after you were pardoned?" asked Daphne.
"I went and pissed on his grave" admitted Harry.
Daphne snorted. "And did necromancy to get him to confess."
"Not necromancy" said Harry "Just an old family magic."
Daphne stopped eating and stared at Harry "Harry Potter, bragging about old family magics… whatever will you do next?"
"Well it won't involve potion and a mad house elf" said Harry.
Daphne bursts out laughing and the rest of the meal is much more lighthearted.
After dessert and 'English' coffee, Daphne stands and says "Well that was very good."
Harry stands up and is only a tiny bit off-balance "It's been fun" he said honestly.
"Good night Mister Potter" says Daphne as she leaves by floo.
Harry owls to invite Daphne to a Ballycastle-Magpies game Saturday.
Friday night he gets a parchment holding only the numbers "8:30."
Harry feeds Daphne the salmon again. She looks at him sideways.
"Trying to get into my good books by taking me to quidditch games and feeding me salmon on a stick" she says.
"Well yes" said Harry.
"I'm staying with Tracey tonight" said Daphne.
Harry and Daphne went to the pub at Montrose and discussed the game.
"I suppose if you twisted my arm I'd have dinner with you" said Daphne.
"But you're staying at Tracey's" said Harry. Daphne nodded curtly.
"What do you want for dinner?" asks Harry.
"Oh just some Caviar and crudites, maybe some canapes" said Daphne. "I'm a simple girl with simple tastes."
-==0==-
Harry was sitting a little nervously in his study, eyeing the caviar and crudites when someone apparated into his front Hall.
Daphne walked into Harry's sitting room wearing the same blue-black dress. The one that that covered her shoulders and arms, but had a V in the front. The hem of the dress went down to mid-calf. She was wearing high heels. "So much more civilised not having to walk outside." she said.
"Drink, Kreacher" said Harry and a glass arrived at his elbow,. He took a swallow of wine.
"Not too much for you. We've already established you're a cheap drunk" said Daphne.
…
Harry stood in his bedroom and asked Daphne "How does that dress come off anyway?"
Daphne smiled and reached behind herself and the dress slipped off her shoulders. "You ask" she said.
"This is kind of frightening sober-ish" admitted Harry.
"Well, don 't worry. You're quite adequate. Good with your hands."
"I um… I'm not sure how?" said Harry.
"Well I know, and your instincts are good" said Daphne, sliding the dress off, and then hanging it over Harry's trouser-press. Her quite small lacy black underwear had Harry gazing at large areas of pale woman. And more breast than he remembered seeing ever before.
"See something you like?" asked Daphne.
Harry yanked at the knot of his tie. And kicked his shoes off "Uh.. all of you?" he said.
"A couple of ground rules Harry. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to; don't expect a virgin, and you have to be very good." said Daphne.
Harry pulled off his shirt and dropped his trousers. Daphne opened her mouth "Oh" she said "You look better than you did at fourteen"
"Thanks" said Harry, closing on Daphne. She shivered as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Goosebumps on the skin of her arms.
"Are you too cold?" asked Harry, pulling a wand from his wrist holster and casting some large area warming charms.
"Well, you've warmed the room up" said Daphne, grabbing his shoulders and nuzzling his neck.
Harry's other hand wrapped around her shoulders "Nice" said Daphne. "But is this only going to be hugs?"
"No " said Harry "How about we get into bed?"
Daphne kicked off her shoes, shrinking greatly and pulled the bed-covers back. "It's toasty warm." she said, lying on the bed and smiling "Come on" she said.
Harry dropped his boxers to the floor. Daphne snorted "Well, you're certainly ready."
Harry lay next to Daphne and stroked her breasts.
"Ohhh.." she said "tickles."
"You're very tense?" asked Harry.
"It's been a lonely year" said Daphne.
"Well," said Harry and kissed her. She grabbed Harry's hair and wrapped a leg around Harry's body.
The snogged energetically.
Three minutes later Daphne said sharply "You came on my leg."
"I'm a Beginner" said Harry. "How about I kiss you?"
Daphne shrugged, and Harry slid down the bed.
"Oh. You mean that kind of …. oh… no… don't lick. Suck. Suck right there" said Daphne as Harry, head between her legs, licked and sucked.
"No, don't speed up. Keep that speed" she said urgently.
Ten minutes later "Uagh!" sighed Daphne. "Good work" she purred. "I'll keep you on….oh ...yes… don't stop. Again….No. don't go faster!"
"Ugh" she groaned. Daphne lifted her head "Hey, Harry, any chance of a wand?" she said, eyes huge, lips flushed.
"Uh… yeah" said Harry lifting his head. "How?"
"you lie on your back. I'll get on top and make sure you get where you need to go" said Daphne.
Harry slid up the bed quickly and Daphne got up and sat astride Harry's lap, with a little lift of her thighs, she reached under and slowly so slowly descended.
"Oh" said Harry "That's what that feels like. I'm sold. You can sit on my willy any day."
"Well" said Daphne, grinding her hips "Hold me" she said
Harry grabbed two handfuls of breasts. Daphne flicked her head backwards and her hair rearranged itself.
"Now. This is all about me grinding where you uhhhh were sucking so well, on your pelvis.
Daphne put a hand to their joining "Hand helps" said Daphne. "Oh …. I like you Harry."
"Well, I'd cut off an arm to keep seeing you naked and on me" said Harry.
"I like both your arms" said Daphne, rocking and grinding.
"Well, I could just live off my inherited wealth and do this with you."
"I'm training to be a healer" said Daphne, wriggling.
"I'm sure we can work something out" said Harry.
"Are you getting very serious Harry Potter?" asked Daphne.
"I've known you for ages, fancied you for longer than is really decent, and I finally get to be awake when we're having sex. I'd like more please" said Harry.
"Is Harry Potter trying to be selfish?"
"No, you came first" said Harry smugly.
"did not" retorted Daphne.
"At the party of doom" said Harry "Then I embarrassed myself as an overexcited virgin after we snogged for three minutes."
"I never said I came at the party of doom" said Daphne.
"Doesn't matter. You definitely did today."
"Well yes" said Daphne.
"You're certainly cured" said Harry. "Makes me a healer really."
"I'm not sure I like this reasoning." said Daphne, grinding.
"Why dear?" said Harry, pulling Daphne's head down for a deep kiss.
"Because" said Daphne "Next thing you'll want my sister in the bed too."
"No" said Harry "One is enough thank you."
"That's a relief. Ever since that incident… I've been worried" said Daphne.
"Please, I've only ever done this with you. And I came on your leg after three minutes of snogging."
...
"Well.. I'm getting a bit tired. Are you going to throw me out?" asked Daphne later.
"Certainly not. Last time we slept, I had a lovely sleep and you got off. We need to sleep together."
"Well If I accidentally use you in my sleep I'm sorry" said Daphne.
"Don't be" said Harry, kissing her " I already caught the snitch."
"I should not have told you that."
"Oh… well" Harry pulled the covers up over Daphne's naked body "You sleep here with me."
"Course" said Daphne and snuggled against Harry and fell asleep.
Harry drifted off minutes later.
Harry woke up from a fantastic dream where he had sex, hot steamy sex with Daphne Greengrass.
He was in bed, and felt very warm. His arm was a bit crushed feeling, and he could smell something musky.
He opened his eyes, and he'd slept with his contacts in. He as snuggled up against a blonde soft Daphne smelling. He was in bed with Daphne Greengrass. Again. And this time remembered… maybe not as awesome as the dream, but bloody brilliant anyway.
Harry pulled his arm out from under his bed partner and tried to out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Daphne asked muzzily.
"The loo, back immediately" said Harry.
"Take me with you" she said. "I wanna go, and your rooms cold."
Harry lit the room lamp and rummaged in the dressing room drawers "Here; a quidditch jersey" he said, banishing it to her.
Daphne puled it on "Slippers?" she asked.
"only mine" admitted Harry.
"Carry me" she asked.
"You need to pee? That's not going to work well."
"Here I am trying to be romantic" said Daphne, pulling on the jersey.
Harry handed her some woolly socks.
She pulled them on and got off the bed. "You need more carpets" she complained.
"Tomorrow." said Harry, pulling on a pair of pyjama pants.
"No shirt? Aren't you cold?"
"I've got a Daphne" said Harry.
Harry showed Daphne to the en-suite and Harry took gallantly second trip to the loo.
Daphne came out, her hair a mess, no makeup, in an old quidditch jersey and big woolly mens socks. Harry's heart did a flip flip thing. 'She's beautiful.'
Harry went to the loo, and freshened his mouth with his wand.
In his bedroom he found Daphne in bed, the covers pulled up to her neck. Her hair in a ponytail, and her underwear no longer scattered all over the floor.
"You tidied?" asked Harry.
"I stepped on my bra" said Daphne.
Harry got back into bed and sighed "It's cosy."
Daphne pointed her wand at the light "Nox" she cast.
"I cast a warming charm" she said.
Harry snuggled over.
"Are you crowding me?"
"Snuggling."
"Good.. go back to sleep"
"I'm a bit too excited. There's a beautiful blonde in my bed."
"Go to sleep it's three am."
"Yes dear."
…
Harry woke up, it was morning, he was warm and the scent of Daphne filled his senses.
His arm hurt from being crushed.
Harry felt the desperate urge to be somewhere else.
He pulled his arm out from underneath the now surprisingly heavy Daphne Greengrass, tangled in her hair, pulled it, which got caused an "Ow!" from the blonde and Harry dashed, naked from the room.
He closed the wardrobe door and the bathroom door before the fart he'd been trying to conceal slipped out.
He sat, cold and thoughtful on the toilet. What's the etiquette for farting in bed with a girlfriend?. Obviously, one tries to avoid it, but, what if you can't. This was all far too new and tentative to survive noxious gases.
Harry walked awkwardly back into the bedroom and observed a grumpy looking Daphne Greengrass sitting up in the bed.
"You pulled my hair getting out of bed, don't do it again" she said "Where were you going in such a hurry naked."
"The loo" said Harry.
"You need warming charms on the room at night" said Daphne.
"I'll get MacBride's onto it" said Harry, getting back into … a warm bed.
"Floo them today" said Daphne.
"Are we, going out?" asked Harry leaning over and sniffing Daphne.
"Do I smell?" she asked
"You smell nice" said Harry "Daphne-ish."
"We are… seeing one another" said Daphne, eyeing Harry's chest.
"Do you want some breakfast?" asked Harry.
"Hmm" said Daphne "I need a shower and to floo Tracy."
"Floo Tracey?"
"So she knows I was at her house last night" said Daphne.
"Oh" said Harry, feeling rejected.
"Tracey will be pleased" said Daphne "She's been badgering me to see someone. You need to get MacBride's onto it, they're always fairly busy" said Daphne.
Harry sighed "Can I tell my friends we're… going out?"
"Oh course" said Daphne "You're not an embarrassment. You're not going to be weird about this are you?"
"Weird?"
"Insist we marry today at Gretna Green or something?" said Daphne.
"Er, no" said Harry. "I was hoping we could… you know, spend some time together, maybe watch some quidditch."
Daphne's lips twitched "I have Healer training to do you know. I can't just lie in bed with you all day" she said.
Harry blushed "Shame" he said.
"You like bonking me then?" asked Daphne.
"Yes please" said Harry.
"Not now" said Daphne, and got up and went to the shower.
"Don't you have NEWT Defence to study for?" yelled Daphne from the en-suite bathroom, having left the door open. Harry pulled on pyjamas and went to talk, and saw a naked, wet Daphne Greengrass washing her hair, and other places. He stared.
Daphne looked over "A peeping tom!" she said, turning off the water, and getting out of the shower, starting to dry herself with a towel. Harry flicked his wand and cast a drying charm. Daphne cussed "Pillock!" she said, her hair fluffing out into a fair facsimile of a dandelion head "Drying charms are not suitable for my hair in the mornings. Now I have to re-condition it" she said, and turned the water back on.
"Sorry" said Harry "My hair is just always unmanageable. I didn't know."
Daphne washed her hair again, conditioned and stepped out, wet "Put your wand down, Potter. Both of them!"
Daphne put two towels on and said "You're not going to follow me around everywhere, okay?"
"Sure" said Harry "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Something simple" said Daphne "Poached fish with caviar?"
"Kreacher!" called Harry.
"Master, Mistress" said Kreacher, bowing low, keeping his head down.
"Breakfast" said Harry "Poached fish with caviar for mistress, scrambled eggs and bacon for me"
"Kreacher, we will be having omelettes with plenty of vegetables" said Daphne.
"Don't forget a little caviar for mistress" said Harry. "Go."
Kreacher popped off.
Daphne crossed her arms. "Get one thing straight. You're going to eat healthily."
"I was just getting you what you asked for" said Harry "Poached fish and caviar sounds perfectly reasonable for you"
"Harry you're not made of money" said Daphne, huffing to the bedroom, where she pulled on some underwear, a process Harry observed carefully.
"Are you just going to stand there like a pervert?" she asked, doing up her bra and sitting on the bed to pull up her stockings.
"Mmmm." said Harry "It's worked well so far."
"Get dressed" she said.
Harry went back to the bathroom and showered quickly, returning to the wardrobe in a towel, finding Daphne still drying her hair, a hank at a time with her wand, wearing a quidditch jersey over her underwear. Lingerie, Harry corrected himself, that stuff was definitely lingerie.
"Did you even get wet?" she asked.
"Boys dorm, we all slept in, five of us, had to go quickly" said Harry.
"Was there still hot water?"
"Magical water heater" said Harry "You could stand in the shower for an hour, and there'd still be hot water" said Harry.
"You've got an infinite hot water system?" asked Daphne.
"Hardly cost anything" said Harry "I am, in case you didn't know, the head of house Black. There's a fairly big pile of money in that vault". Harry pulled on some boxers and grabbed a t-shirt.
"You don't have a job, you can't live on the vault forever" said Daphne, still drying her hair.
"I do actually get paid for the textbooks" said Harry "Seventy galleons a year for first and second year, and I've got third year nearly ready; which will be another nearly forty."
"A real job would pay a lot more" said Daphne, and looked up "T-shirt, no" she said "Wear a real shirt, you have to look like an adult."
"Well, the black family investments make some money too" said Harry "I wasn't paying attention."
"You weren't paying attention?" said Daphne standing up. She was quite a bit shorter than Harry, he noticed. She strode over crossly "Pay attention to your finances. I don't have time to do everything for you."
"Would you read my last annual statement over breakfast and explain it?" asked Harry.
"Perhaps" said Daphne, regally, in an old quidditch jersey and stockings.
"Well come on, Mistress Black, time for breakfast." said Harry.
"Not Potter?"
"Well, sacred twenty eight and all that" said Harry. "Unless you'd like to be Potter?"
"Not marrying you" said Daphne.
Harry froze up.
"Right away" said Daphne.
Harry relaxed. "Breakfast."
"Not in this, my bum isn't covered when I sit" said Daphne.
"That does sound good" said Harry "you could read the accounts while I eat you."
Daphne blushed brightly "I'm not bonking on the dining table" she said.
"I'd bet some of my Black ancestors have" said Harry. "If Sirius had a witch over while we were at school, I guarantee he would have. Actually… it's sounding better by the second" said Harry, and wiggled his eyebrows.
"What if someone flooed in, or apparated in" said Daphne.
"What do other people do?"
"Block apparation into their houses, and turn the floo to calls only" said Daphne.
"I'll get right on that, MacBride can do it too" said Harry.
Daphne shrugged out of the jersey and Harry whistled, and Daphne slipped back into the dress.
"I really like that dress" said Harry "It has a lot of good associations"
Daphne rolled her eyes and put her heels on, bringing her up to being slightly taller than Harry.
"Mistress Black, breakfast?" said Harry, extending an elbow.
Daphne tolerantly took Harry's arm and they went to breakfast in the dining room, where silver chafing dishes sat.
Harry helped Daphne to a chair and sat down, swishing and flicking to levitate a lid.
'Poached fish with caviar, small" said Harry. The second had two small omelettes. One garnished with a peck of caviar..
Daphne sighed and took some poached fish and omelette. "arse" she said.
"Kreacher!" said Harry. The elderly house elf appeared silently, on the far side of the table.
"Mistress wishes to examine the black account ledger over breakfast" said Harry. "Go."
Kreacher disappeared with a pop and reappeared moments later, holding a large ledger, which he placed on the table, and with a finger-click, it slid to Daphne's side.
"Well done, Kreacher" said Harry. Kreacher faded from sight silently.
Daphne finished a bite of fish, glared at Harry and opened the ledger, turning to the place marker ribbon. She ran a finger down the line, and frowned. "What did the house buy in nineteen ninety-four that cost fifty thousand galleons?" she asked.
"Firebolt" said Harry. "Fourteen years of birthday and Christmas presents."
"A broom. You spent fifty thousand galleons on a broom" said Daphne.
"Sirius spent fifty thousand galleons on a broom, and it was the best broom in the world" said Harry.
Daphne's finger stopped and she coughed and went pale.
"What?"
"Annual balance... so much money."
"I did say I was rich" said Harry.
"And make … she turned a page, and frowned "four thousand galleons a year."
"Rich, old family" said Harry.
Daphne collapsed back into her chair and looked at Harry "So maybe my doubts about your ability to afford caviar were unfounded."
Harry shrugged "You like it, it's okay on crudites" said Harry lightly.
"You don't own anything bigger than this cottage do you?" asked Daphne.
"I think grandfather's house was destroyed in the first war" said Harry.
"Potter's manor?" said Daphne "Didn't he make a lot of money doing something with potions?"
"Well, why would mum and dad have lived here otherwise?" asked Harry. "I don't know much about grandfather." said Harry "Just that they died before I was born, Dragonpox, I think it was."
"Kreacher!" Harry called "bring me Which Which."
Daphne frowned.
"We're not in Natures Nobility, but we are in Which Which" said Harry.
Kreacher popped away invisibly and returned with a pop, holding a gaudy pink leather bound book.
Harry turned the book to it's only bookmark.
"Fleamont Potter married Euphemia Roundtree in nineteen twenty-four" said Harry. "The dress was.."
Daphne stopped Harry "Who are the Roundtrees? And what's Which Witch?"
"American family, go back rather a long time, quite wealthy" said Harry "And Which Witch is like natures nobility, for Americans."
"Americans. Your grandmother was an American?" asked Daphne.
Harry read aloud "Fleamont Potter, noted Potions inventor, owner of the Sleekeazey company, caused quite a splash at the Salem ball with his hair tonic. Mister Potter was overwhelmed with orders when the debutantes discovered just what it could do to waist length hair."
"Why are you reading it like that?"
"It's made from newspaper society pages; the Salem Examiner, the New York Oracle and the Philadelphia Delphi, apparently" said Harry.
"I've never heard of it" said Daphne.
"Well, your family's not part-American" said Harry. "Euphemia, lovely name, was quite taken with old granddad. They had Dad in nineteen fifty-nine."
"That's a long wait" said Daphne.
"Must have had problems" said Harry "I think one of dad's letters says something about it. He was a surprise."
"Your grandmother must have been nearly sixty" said Daphne.
"Clearly they were fond of each other" said Harry, smiling. "check out the photo."
Daphne got up and stood over Harry's shoulder, looking at Fleamont, who had a roundish face and wavy, styled hair, standing next to a much taller woman, coffee-skinned with angular cheekbones and dark eyes. She wore a broad necklace of silver and turquoise jewellery carved with what looked like runes; but not like any Harry had ever seen; animal shapes. She stood like a princess, then leaned over and pecked a kiss onto grandpa Fleamont's head. He looked up and smiled at her.
"Shes – " said Daphne.
"From America." said Harry "They've been there a long time."
He bent over the page "Baton Rouge" said Harry "The Roundtrees are Bayagoula
from Baton rouge" he said.
"Red stick?" asked Daphne. "Why is it called that?"
"Accio United states atlas" said Harry and held a hand up. A very large book shot into the room from the study and Harry caught it.
"That is undignified" said Daphne.
Harry flicked thought the book, and read, then laughed, hollowly. "Oh" he said.
"What" asked Daphne.
"The Indians round Grandma's home used red poles to mark the boundaries between lands. Some French explorer sailed up the river and saw one." said Harry "Like a boundary cairn."
"The muggle Bayagoula are extinct" he said "Must only be the mages that lived through the colonists arriving."
Harry turned back to which witch "Grandma was a notable student at Salem, and got a MACUSA placement score of one thousand four hundred and one, whatever that means." said Harry. "And in her wedding photo, you have to admit looks pretty hot."
"Is that why you tan so… nicely" said Daphne.
"I guess" said Harry. I haven't had a tan since ninety-five, he thought, and then the knut dropped.
Daphne Greengrass had fancied Harry Potter back at school.
"So do you own Sleekeazys then?" asked Daphne casually.
"No, grandpa sold it, I remember this bit from the accounts. Quadrupled the family fortune" said Harry.
Daphne blinked "Henry Potter was a major force in the wizengamot, and his Son quadrupled the family fortune?"
"Henry was… great grandpa, yeah?" said Harry. Daphne nodded. "Shame really, Henry would have been a more serious name to write down than Harry " said Harry. "And Henry's get called Harry anyway."
"Are you sure you're not actually Henry Potter?" asked Daphne.
"All the paperwork I've ever seen, including my Hogwarts letter and the name in the goblet of fire said Harry." said Harry.
"Was it your mum or your dad?" asked Daphne "Any guesses?"
"Dad" said Harry "He was a bit of a joker."
"And your grandfather wasn't alive, or your grandmother?"
"Such a shame" said Harry "It would have been nice to have a family."
"So, are you going to complain about caviar again?" asked Harry.
"No" said Daphne. "But where's the ruin of your grandparents house? And how much money is in Harry Potter's vault?"
"I dunno, but my vault's the size of the dining room, but square and full-ish" said Harry.
Daphne looked around the room "You have a room full of galleons?"
"Well yeah" said Harry. "A few hundred thousand, three , four I don't remember."
Daphne went red "You're rich" she said. "like, not Malfoy rich, but… richer than Father"
Harry shrugged "Your father's richer than me, he has a wife and two daughters. You have grandparents still?"
"All four" said Daphne. "And seven aunts, and nine uncles."
"Really rich in family" said Harry.
"Would you like to snog?" asked Daphne idly.
"Is all this talk of me being very wealthy exciting you?"
"No" said Daphne. "But I don't have to make excuses for you to my family."
"No excuses, how Bold" said Harry.
"Father can... what's that muggle phrase?"
"Suck it?" asked Harry winking.
Daphne sat up onto the table "Close the door at least?"
Harry flicked his wand then cast "colloportus".
Daphne lifted her knees "Now, don't think I'm doing this because you're rich"
"Uhuh" said Harry.
"I'm doing this because you're rich enough to put father in his place when he complains" said Daphne.
Harry stood and kissed Daphne, who wrapped her legs around Harry's waist.
"Mmmm" said Harry.
Al Norma's books while not best-sellers were eventually used by four schools, for first through to seventh year. Eagle-eyed students found numerous worked examples were debunkings of various Gilderoy Lockheart adventures. The section on werewolves was particularly detailed, and nuanced. This led to a theory that Al Norma was a werewolf. Some of the questions at the ends of chapters of the fifth, sixth and seventh year texts had no good answers, something the Al Norma's teachers resource book (a rare book indeed) explained. "Sometimes in Defence against the Dark arts, you get into a situation where you can't easily escape, and you have to choose the least worst path. Older students are should be mature enough to at least consider these sorts of situations in a controlled class discussion."