Chapter 3

Charlie seemed happier these days. At least he wasn't as hard on me about getting out and socializing. It seems all he needed to see was me trying to be better even if I still woke up screaming every few nights. I wasn't waking him up every night anymore at any rate. It didn't mean that the nightmares stopped it just meant I got better at hiding them.

I had done as Charlie wanted and started hanging out with Jake down on the res. He'll never say it but I think the rumors of what I did to Mike Newton helped relieve some of his worry that I was never going to wake up. When you take my burst of anger and add it to him hearing from Billy that I was almost smiling when I was with Jake and his friends Quil and Embry I think he decided to let things go for now.

I hope that the small flashes of emotion I can show are enough for him for now. My spring break deadline is nearly here. I look in the bathroom mirror and reflect on the last few weeks. I might still resemble a shell of my former self but there's this small light I can see flickering in my eyes and my cheeks have a little more color than they did. At least I don't look like a walking corpse anymore. I crack a tiny smile when I think that. There's no way I could ever hope to reach they're perfection. My walking corpse impression was more zombie than disco ball vampire.

Splashing water on my face I head downstairs to fix breakfast. It's as I'm plating the food that Charlie walks in hunting for his morning dose of caffeine. I set his food in front of him and grab my own meager plate full and a glass of OJ. He finally looks up at me and just kind of examines me from head to toe like the cop he is. "You look better, Bells. I'm glad. You going out to Billy's this evening?"

Swallowing what's in my mouth I nod and answer him. "Yeah, Jake's taking me out to the beach for a while." He just nods back and grunts his approval. Finishing my food I jump up to clean the kitchen because it's Saturday and I want to spend as much time as I can with my own personal sun. That's what Jake is to me. He lights up my day just like the sun and he's warm and comforting like the sun, too.

It's as I'm busy washing the dishes that I don't even notice Charlie pausing in the entryway with a puzzled look on his face. It morphed into a grin as he hears me humming. I don't even realize I'm doing it but somehow I'm just content with my life at the moment. I'm not fixed by any means but I am better. That empty pit inside me is slowly shrinking with every day I spend around my personal sun.

I put the last of the dishes away and hurry upstairs to shower and change my clothes. I opt for a well worn pair of jeans, t-shirt, baggy jacket, and my favorite comfy converse. Slipping my wallet in the front pocket of my jeans I practically skip down the stairs before grabbing my beast's keys. I lock up behind me and run out to my truck in my rush to be by Jake. I slide on a patch of ice and right myself without even thinking about it. It never occurred to me that I should've fallen and needed another trip to the ER. I just happily hopped in the beast and drove out to the reservation.

Pulling into the little drive leading to the red shack that passed for a house down here on the res I started bouncing in my eagerness to see Jake. I know I told Charlie that we were spending the day on the beach but what Charlie doesn't know won't hurt him. Jake promised to take me bike riding today since he finally finished fixing up the clunkers I salvaged from the junk yard. It took some time but I finally found something that works even better than Jake at temporarily patching that yawning emptiness inside me. I have turned into a near adrenaline junkie. The fear and excitement doing something that makes my blood pump and my heart pound feeds that small little flame that Jake managed to bring back to life from the embers it constantly used to die to. I jump at any chance that makes me feel alive. It's something that I needed a reminder of for way too long.

I take a breath to steady myself before climbing out of my truck and walking around the red house to the makeshift garage that houses all of Jake's current mechanical projects. I look around for Jake but he's nowhere to be seen. Shrugging I head back to the front of the house. It is a Saturday and sort of early. I figure he might still be in bed. Knocking on the door I wait for Billy to open it. When he does he doesn't move out of the way like usual but instead blocks it. I look at him sideways because he's never not let me in the house when I've come over. "I'm looking for Jake. He's not in his garage so I thought he was still in bed." Billy gets this odd look on his face like he's about to do something he regrets. It makes me even more curious about his odd behavior.

"Jake's sick. I'm sorry but you can't be around him right now. I don't want you to catch what he has. Go home, Bella." My jaw drops because as soon as he finishes speaking he backs back into the house and shuts the door in my face. I'm stunned that Billy could be so rude to me. Thinking that maybe I could do something like make Jake some soup I knock again. Billy just raises his voice so I can here him through the door. "Just go home. There's nothing you can do for him."

I lower my head as I take a shaky inhale and quietly agree even though I know Billy can't hear me. I turn tail and run to my beloved truck that Jake rebuilt for me and drive home to Charlie's.