Is it Life or Art?

by lilac-bramble

AU KakuHidan set against the tempestuous backdrop of the London art scene... Kakuzu is an investment banker with an extensive art collection and a difficult past, Hidan is a notorious life model unwillingly moving into fashion. Can they keep it together as their friends' relationships deteriorate around them and Hidan just can't seem to stay out of trouble?

28. Chapter 28

Hidan sat in a small waiting room in the Cardiology Department of the Royal Free Hospital, his head in his hands. The hum of the vending machine next to him had given him a headache, but he couldn't muster the energy to move away. How long had it been now? They'd told him it might be hours, and every minute that passed increased his anxiety until by now it was at fever pitch. He couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't think any thought apart from the worst case scenario that ran in a loop through his head. What if Kakuzu dies?

Then a slight variation - what if Kakuzu dies and it's my fault? For doing shit CPR? For not starting it soon enough? For stressing him out all evening? Could stress cause heart attacks? Was that a real thing? Or maybe for making him run too fast? He'd known Kakuzu struggled with his pace, but still he'd done it every day. Why? Just to show off? Just to be better than him at something?

He started re-living the awful scene on the bedroom floor. Calling the ambulance and the next moment Kakuzu losing consciousness and starting a strange gasping. He could still see before his eyes the way his hand had fallen limply to his side. "Kakuzu!" he'd howled. His own heart thumping so hard, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He'd bent over him, trying to feel for a pulse, tipping his head back. Clear his airway, he'd remembered. Is that breathing? That's not normal breathing. Fuck. Fuck.

He remembered being aware of the tinny voice coming from his phone, which he'd dropped on the floor. Hidan? Hidan, can you tell me what's happened?

I can't feel a pulse, he'd yelled. I'm starting CPR. Somehow, miraculously, he'd known what to do. Well, actually it wasn't by any divine chance - Kakuzu himself had told him exactly what to do. He'd remembered him telling him about it, laughing, twitching a headphone out of his ear as he lay on a bed somewhere listening to Queen - was it in that hotel room in Edinburgh? Or on the Akatsuki retreat? - Another one bites the dust? Kakuzu had said. This always reminds me of learning CPR. And, incredulous when Hidan didn't have a clue what he was talking about, he'd insisted on talking him through exactly how you did it.

His head had cleared. Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Back on the bedroom floor, his entire existence was the beat - he knew what to do. Knowing he could and would do this for as long as it took. Thinking, I've got you, Kakuzu. I've got you. You're going to be ok. You've got to be ok.

On through the song, not fully aware of anything else. And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust. Rescue breaths, two of them. Kim and Karin bursting into the room. Kim offering to take over compressions but he'd just shaken his head. His arms ached, he was out of breath, but he couldn't trust anyone else to do this for Kakuzu. He vaguely remembered Karin picking up his phone and speaking, then running back downstairs to wait for the ambulance.

How do you think I'm going to get along without you when you're gone? You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own. More breaths. The horrible relevance of the lyrics isn't lost on him, but he just keeps doggedly on. His hair is falling all over his face, and he can't quite believe how hard this is - his arms feel like they're on fire. Kakuzu's chest is making popping and cracking sounds - is that ok? Well, it would have to be.

Voices in the hall, the dogs barking from the kitchen. There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man and bring him to the ground. You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad and leave him when he's down.

I'm never leaving you Kakuzu, he promises in his head. Fucking never. Running footsteps on the stairs. But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you, I'm standing on my own two feet. Out of the doorway the bullets rip - and then a hand on his shoulder. A calm voice speaking to him.

"I'm going to take over compressions now, Hidan, ok? You've given him the best fighting chance mate, he's lucky to have you."

He'd knelt back on the rug, arms aching, out of breath and not quite able to believe what he'd been looking at. Kakuzu, pale and motionless, eyes half closed. Kakuzu. He was a fucking force of nature. He wasn't meant to be vulnerable, broken... He'd thought of everything they'd done together in here, of Kakuzu holding him, Kakuzu smiling at him, just that look he'd always give him when he came through the door. This couldn't be real. Even now, he looked at the hospital floor through his fingers and asked himself if it was really real.

But the paramedics attach pads to him, a robot voice intones, Assessing rhythm, stand back. Shockable rhythm. Press shock. Hidan didn't like to think about the way Kakuzu's body had jolted when they'd done it. Even now, in the waiting room, he found he was biting his fist so hard he was leaving marks, just remembering. He remembered Karin clutching his arm, her face white. Then Kakuzu had surged awake. "Hidan!" he'd gasped, followed by something completely incomprehensible - then he'd lost consciousness again. But they had a pulse back, and the paramedics got a line in him and started administering intravenous drugs.

He'd completely lost it when they said if they were going by the book they ought to wait for specialist winching equipment and take him out through the window. "Fuck the fucking book!" he'd wailed. "He could die in that time." To be honest, they all seemed to think so. Kim had backed him up as well, and the four of them had manoeuvred him down the stairs, strapped to a stretcher. Then it was out to the waiting ambulance to be blue lit down the hill to the hospital. Kim and Karin said they'd lock up the house, Karin handed him his phone, and Kakuzu's, and his keys, all of which he'd have forgotten about otherwise. Kim grabbed him a jacket, and there was none of that arch teasing in his face any more. He'd just left them to it.

The journey must have taken less than a minute, but Kakuzu's heart had stopped again on the way there and they went through it all again. The paramedics called it irritable. Medical terminology was bandied around. VT arrest. Shockable rhythm. Again it started again at the first shock, but this time he didn't regain consciousness, and they were still giving him post-shock CPR in the ambulance bay. Then they wheeled him straight up to the Cardiac Unit. And Hidan was peeled off and Kakuzu whisked away.

Someone would come and update him, they'd said. He mustn't worry, Kakuzu's in good hands.

How long had it been? He got out his phone. It was half past midnight. They must have reached the hospital shortly after ten, so it had been more than two hours. He swallowed, with difficulty. Was that normal?

He noticed that he'd missed several calls from Suigetsu. He didn't have the heart to call him back though. Then, even as he was looking at it, a text came through. It was from Deidara.

Just heard about Kakuzu. Mate I'm sorry. I'm sure he'll be ok though. Call me if you need to talk.

Hidan almost did it. If anyone could understand what he was going through, it was Dei. But remembering their last conversation stopped him. If he was high, or if Tobi was with him, then he didn't even want to hear his voice. A text could sound like anything. This didn't mean Dei was back to normal, didn't mean he was going to be a good friend again. He wondered who had told him. Maybe Kisame. He wondered briefly what had happened to Kisame and Killer Bee, but not enough to keep thinking of it. He put the phone away. The only person he wanted to talk to was Kakuzu. Talking to anyone else wouldn't be comforting. In fact he didn't think he'd be able to bear it. He dropped his face back into his hands.

A little while later he heard footsteps in the corridor and sprang to attention. Would it be some news at last ? But no, another nurse, showing a man and a woman into the waiting room. A pregnant woman with wavy dark hair - a slight young man with a spiky ponytail - suddenly Hidan had a very bad feeling indeed.

It was Kurenai Yuhi, Asuma's girlfriend. And Shikamaru Nara. They hadn't noticed him yet. They were both pale, their faces etched with anxiety.

"You don't have to stay," Kurenai was saying. "You should get home, get some sleep."

"Of course I'm staying," Shikamaru said. "I promised Asuma! He wouldn't have wanted you to be alone now-"

"Maybe that's exactly what he wanted," Kurenai's words were almost inaudible. Oh my God, Hidan thought. Did he…?

"Don't say that!" Shikamaru urged. "It was an accident, it must've been-"

Suddenly he looked round and saw Hidan watching them, and the transformation of his expression from grieving compassion to utter hatred was like a punch to the stomach.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" he snarled, shielding Kurenai with his body as though Hidan was going to spring at her and attack. "Get out of her sight!"

Hidan jumped to his feet. "I could say the same to you!" he snarled. "Why the fuck do people normally end up in hospital waiting rooms?!"

He was shaking. He wasn't expecting to have to deal with something like this. He really didn't need this now. And a calculating look appeared in Shikamaru's eyes that scared him a bit. Unless he got a grip on himself this guy was going to make him do something really stupid. But he made himself stand his ground as Shikamaru came slowly towards him. Maybe he could turn the tables on him.

"I literally don't care what's happened to you or why you're here," Shikamaru said furiously. "But if you had any decency at all you'd leave, right now."

"I'm not going anywhere," Hidan said softly, dangerously. He felt his fist clenching of its own accord, still trembling. "If you can't stand to be with me, the door's right fucking there." The rest of the room became a blur, only Shikamaru's hateful face in focus. He wanted to smash his fist into it, and the only way not to was to freeze himself into complete immobility. He felt numb. He could hear the receptionist calling for security and Kurenai pleading leave it Shikamaru, please, not now! and braced himself for getting the shit beaten out of him. Shikamaru pushed him, hard, so that he stumbled back against the vending machine. He closed his eyes and just endured it. If he retaliated in this mood he'd be chucked out of the hospital for sure, and then Kakuzu- if Kakuzu-

Shikamaru grabbed the front of his T-shirt and pulled him forward and he didn't even let himself shrug him off because if he opened the floodgates now he'd probably kill the little bastard before anyone could get him away and then he really would be screwed. Don't move, he told himself, just don't move. He opened his eyes and saw that Shikamaru was nearly crying. "Do you know what you've done?" he was screaming at him. "Asuma is dying in there because of you, you fucking murderer . You did this!"

"Did what?" Hidan hissed low, so that only Shikamaru could hear. "Did Asuma top himself then? I don't see how that's on me."

That was enough to send Shikamaru over the edge. He got his hands on Hidan's throat and hurled his whole body weight against him. Hidan's head hit the vending machine, making a rattling clunk that sounded worse than it was. Hidan barely felt it in his keyed up state. But now other voices were joining Kurenai's and hospital staff surrounding them. A male nurse and a hospital porter pulled Shikamaru away from him, which didn't take much; the little bastard just came away sobbing in their hands.

Hidan felt utter disgust. He had a sudden vivid flash of memory - a knife in his face, his arm twisted behind his back - any sympathy he might have had for him was swiftly nipped in the bud. He remembered how positive he'd felt about the future that evening in Edinburgh. He'd just managed to get Kakuzu to open up. They were doing nice, civilised things together. It wasn't like anything he had with anyone before. And then the attack changed everything, put stress and difficulty into the mix from the very beginning. Put them on a different path from the one they could have been on together, one with paparazzi and lawsuits and hate mail. The path that led to this hospital waiting room, with Kakuzu's life hanging in the balance.

The nurse tried to urge him to sit down but he barely took in the guy's words. He was still numb. He seemed to be telling Shikamaru to leave him alone, though, which he was grateful for. Come on, I know you're upset but this guy just watched his partner go into cardiac arrest. Give him some space. A bit fucking indiscreet, Hidan thought, but Shikamaru didn't seem to care anyway. Even as security arrived and he was being escorted out of the room he was asking if there was somewhere else Kurenai could wait, as though Hidan was some kind of leper.

He found himself fussed over for a few minutes - asked multiple times if he was ok, made to sit back down, and given a cup of tea that was too hot to drink by the receptionist - and then left alone again.

The male nurse came back to look in on him 5 minutes later, full of apologies, and told him they'd found another room for Kurenai and that Shikamaru had been removed from the building.

"Fucking hell," Hidan said. Thank fuck he'd managed to control himself. He'd thought Shikamaru would just have been put in another room too, given that he hadn't actually done him any damage. "What if his friend dies?" he asked. "Will they let him back in then?"

The guy shrugged helplessly. "We have a zero tolerance policy on aggressive behaviour… he's actually quite lucky the police weren't called."

"Well, shit, it's not like he'd be able to do me any real damage…" Hidan sighed. Now that the excitement was over he felt completely wiped out, but at least a little more in the present. The harsh lighting was making his headache worse and he passed a hand over his eyes. "Just so long as he's not in my face screaming at me, I don't care where he is," he said tiredly.

He asked the nurse why they'd been in here anyway, and maybe the guy felt bad for him, because he told him quite a lot. He really wasn't very discreet at all. Hidan just let his words flow over him, nodding in appropriate places. It was helpful to have a bit of distraction actually.

"That lady's husband came in to A&E about an hour ago. He'd overdosed on his antidepressants. He's been brought up here because his heart stopped, which is quite an unusual outcome, so he's been unlucky. Anyway, it's not looking good, so I guess that's why the young guy was so aggressive to you. Some people do take it like that. I'm really sorry. You didn't need that right now."

"Nah, don't worry man, it's not on you," Hidan murmured automatically, flatly, feeling nothing. "We know each other from… somewhere else. Do they know why the guy did it?"

"Yeah, so he'd been seriously ill for a while after a knife fight left him with terrible facial injuries," the nurse continued, "but he was discharged a couple of weeks ago. They thought he was out of the woods, but... now this… he was clearly not coping well mentally. Maybe you read about it? It was all over the news when it happened."

"Yeah," Hidan said. Wow. He must be looking like shit. This guy had read all the news stories and he didn't even recognise him. He looked up at him steadily. "I didn't need to read about it. I was there."

"Oh my God," The nurse drew back a little. "Y-you're Hidan Yu! That's why they-"

"I don't know what you read, but I didn't start that fight," Hidan muttered, looking away. He wished he'd stayed anonymous now.

Maybe he imagined it, as the nurse didn't say anything else, but the look he gave him seemed to say, you finished it though, didn't you?

---

Half an hour later, the same nurse slipped in and told him in hushed tones that Asuma had died. "I shouldn't really be telling you," he said. "But I thought it might be a good idea if you steered clear of the lady who was in here earlier. Given what happened."

Given what happened. Hidan definitely felt like he wasn't as warm towards him as before. Did he see him as a murderer now, too? He wondered what would happen. Would the police reinvestigate, now Asuma was dead. Obviously Shikamaru would be pushing for it. He sipped cold tea that he didn't really want, and wondered if he cared at all, and found he couldn't really tell. There was a strange blankness where any feeling about Asuma ought to be. But he didn't have long to dwell on it, because a few minutes later Kabuto walked in and said he could come and see Kakuzu in recovery.

"Kim texted me to say you'd be coming in," he said as they walked briskly down a long corridor. "So I came straight up, and lucky I did because the interventional cardiologist who should've been available was delayed by an emergency at another hospital. Luckily his team were all on hand so we jumped right in. Any delay could have been… most unfortunate, I have to say."

"I… I thought emergency medicine was your…" Hidan began hesitantly, not sure of the correct terminology.

"Oh it is," Kabuto took over smoothly, "but I've actually been through quite a few different specialties during my time. I still work one day a week in cardiology. I like to keep my hand in. Kakuzu actually taught me how to put a stent in himself in the late 80s, so I was very happy to be able to return the favour! He's doing really well. The damage to his heart wasn't too severe, thanks to the prompt action you took. He's had-"

"Damage?" Hidan said, horrified by the word. "I thought... didn't the CPR… didn't I-?"

"Well, that's not quite how it works, Hidan," Kabuto said gently. "The CPR saved his life by sending oxygenated blood to his brain and other organs when his heart stopped. But if part of the heart itself isn't getting oxygenated blood because of a blocked artery, the tissues of the heart muscle start to die and that damage is permanent. There's nothing you could have done about that, except what you did do. Like I say, Kakuzu's heart doesn't seem to have sustained much damage because of how quickly you acted. We had him on the table well within what we call the 'golden hour'."

"I was right there with him," Hidan said miserably. The phrase 'on the table' upset him a lot for some reason. "What else was I going to do?"

"Well, you'd be surprised." Kabuto patted his shoulder. "Lots of people are too nervous about getting it wrong to even try CPR. And according to the paramedics who brought you in, you were doing a really exemplary job. It actually takes a lot of strength to do it properly. Anyway, we put in two stents and he may have to have more - the cardiology team are going to keep him in for monitoring overnight and see if they think it's necessary in the morning."

"Uhh... uh-huh," Hidan faltered.

"He was sedated through the procedure, so you'll probably find he's a little groggy. Unfortunately I can't stay long, as I'm needed back in A&E - I only managed to arrange cover for a couple of hours - but he's nominated you as his next of kin, so you won't have any problems with access, or getting information about his condition. I'm assuming you'll be caring for him when he's discharged from hospital?"

"Y-yeah… of course," Hidan said, feeling panicked and bewildered. Caring for him? Was it going to be that bad then? Was none of this actually fixable? The words permanent damage wouldn't stop replaying themselves in his head. Kabuto started telling him about various things Kakuzu mustn't do for a bit, but after only a few words he felt himself mentally checking out of the conversation. He had to ask Kabuto to repeat himself. Then they were at the door of a ward. Ward 10 West - Cardiac Care Unit, it said. Hidan didn't remember half the journey.

"... well, the cardiologists will explain all that anyway," Kabuto was saying. All what? Hidan thought, panicky again. He seemed to be missing a chunk of time. Had he just had some kind of momentary blackout? But then Kabuto opened the door, and there was Kakuzu. Alive. Awake. He shot across the ward to him, forgetting everything else.

He was shaken by the way he looked, though he tried not to show it. He seemed… diminished. Tired and pale and drained. But he attempted a smile as he saw Hidan. "You... look awful, love," he said, taking his hand. His words were a little slurred. Getting them out seemed to take enormous effort. "I'm ... sorry. I've put you through the mill, haven't I?" He moved as if to reach for Hidan's cheek, but didn't have the energy to follow it through and his hand dropped back onto the bedcovers.

"No!" Hidan protested, trying hard to keep his voice steady. He couldn't let Kakuzu slip straight back into trying to look after him. He was the one who needed to be strong now. He leant over the bed and kissed him on the mouth, slowly and sensuously, and absolutely not as if he was some sexless invalid. "I'm fine . I'm just so fucking relieved you're ok."

Kakuzu did manage to muster the strength to raise his arm then, and held Hidan there a moment. "I've been… such an idiot, Hidan," he said quietly. "There've been symptoms… I should have had them checked out… weeks ago… it's unforgivable…"

"No! No, it isn't… " Hidan said. He couldn't let Kakuzu be so down on himself and retreated into lame humour. "It's just typical alpha male behaviour, right? Don't we all..?" He sat down on the hard plastic chair by Kakuzu's bed, still holding his hand. He felt helpless and desperately tired. He wanted to put his head down on the side of the bed and let Kakuzu tell him everything would be ok. But he couldn't do that now.

Kakuzu and Kabuto talked for a few minutes in language he didn't understand, though Kabuto kept saying they should leave it til the morning and Kakuzu was still slurring his words. V-fib, MI, stemi, total occlusion, damage to the myocardium … the words drifted past him in a haze of incomprehension. Then Kakuzu wanted to know what drugs they had him on and it got even worse. Ramipril was the only one he felt like he'd even be able to say , and it made him want to retreat into lame humour again. Again he had that feeling of checking out, and missing time. Every now and then they turned to him and said something in what they clearly thought was normal terminology but even that wouldn't go into his brain. He nodded and tried to look as if he understood. All that stuck was that Kakuzu's heart was damaged, that he shouldn't even let him lift up a kettle and he was going to be taking 4 kinds of medication with unpronounceable names daily for the foreseeable future, one of which had erectile dysfunction as a possible side effect.

"But, is he going to get better? Is he going to get back to normal?" he asked Kabuto desperately, then couldn't focus on the answer. Cardiac rehabilitation... lifestyle changes... every reason to be optimistic … the answer seemed to be maybe.

Suddenly he found he'd nearly slipped off the chair. Kabuto was gripping him by the upper arm to stop him falling, and looking at him with concern. "You need to get some rest, Hidan," he said firmly. "I suggest you go home and get some sleep, and come back for the ward rounds in the morning. We'll have more answers then anyway."

"What? Can't I stay with him?" Hidan hadn't anticipated this. "I - I can't leave him like this, can I?!"

Kakuzu gave a tired smile, and clearly tried to inject his voice with his normal authority. "Hidan, I am not letting you spend the rest of the night on that chair!" he said. But he had to pause for breath, and close his eyes a moment. He was clearly very tired now. "I need to rest as well," he admitted, "so there's no need for you to play Florence Nightingale. And someone needs to make sure the dogs are ok..." He looked anxious suddenly. "Or… perhaps I should arrange for them to go into kennels-" His eyes flicked towards the bedside table looking for his phone, and with a huge effort Hidan made himself re-assume the mask of being alright.

He got up and kissed Kakuzu tenderly on the forehead. "Don't fucking worry, ok?" he said softly. "I'll sort them. We'll be fine. You don't need to worry." He put Kakuzu's phone next to his keys and other bits and pieces on the nightstand. "There you go," he said. "If you need me…"

Kakuzu caught his hand suddenly as he began to move away, his grip still surprisingly strong. But his words came out in a mumble Hidan had to bend close to him again to hear. "Are you sure you're going to be alright getting home? You look really pale, love."

Still looking after him. Hidan smiled his most invincible smile and joked it off. "Nah, it's just this fucking hospital lighting - not exactly flattering." He squeezed Kakuzu's hand and softened his voice again. "Babe, it's all of five fucking minutes. I reckon I'll be ok."

Kakuzu had the grace to smile a little sheepishly at that. "I know..." he sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm... being ridiculous. I just don't like not being able to... take care of you…"

"You're still my fucking tiger, babe," Hidan whispered as he leant in and kissed him again. "Just let me take care of things for now. I can deal with it. I'll see you in the morning, ok? I'll be back before you're even awake."

"OK," Kakuzu murmured, almost completely out of it now. "I know you can… really… I know that..."

He watched Kakuzu drift off to sleep, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill out. He knew now it didn't matter to him if he had to spend the rest of his life caring for him. He could deal with it. He'd be happy to. But Kakuzu would hate it. Kakuzu couldn't bear to be helpless. Watching him struggle against it was heartbreaking. He had to get better.

Kabuto, who'd tactfully retreated to the door, helped him give his contact details to the ward sister, then showed him the best way out of the hospital for Parliament Hill. He told him the time of the ward rounds - 7.30am - and advised him to be a little early because the shift change at 7 would probably wake Kakuzu anyway. Checking the time on his phone, Hidan realised that he was only looking at a couple of hours of sleep - he'd need to be up before 6 to walk the dogs if he wanted to get to the hospital at 7. Kakuzu would want to know they'd had a good amount of exercise. It would help him not to worry. He started off for home at a brisk pace.

The night air was cool - the mugginess of the day had finally lifted - and after the noise and bright lights of the hospital it felt very peaceful. Hidan began to feel a little more of the relief and less of the crippling fear and anxiety. He crossed the road at South End Green, and, sending a quick text to Kakuzu just in case he woke in the night and missed him, didn't see that one of the parked cars was occupied, and that he was being observed. He didn't see it follow him at a crawl, and watch him into the house, then drive away back down the hill.

Maybe it wasn't surprising, but walking into Kakuzu's empty house was hard. Hidan did the code for the alarm on autopilot, thinking of other times they'd come through that door - that first time in particular - Kakuzu disabling the alarm one-handed with his other arm wrapped possessively around him - God, how psyched and happy he'd been that night. Knowing this was different, feeling on the cusp of something new and exciting. He remembered how he'd nearly lost it when he heard Tsuchi growling, and he replayed Kakuzu's voice in his ear, deep and velvety, it's only dogs, Hidan . He'd felt like he was fucking melting inside. Now, he clenched his jaw to hold back the tears that threatened again, then nearly slipped over something on the floor.

He turned on the light. Little paper cases were scattered over the polished wooden boards, and a flat cardboard box, rather mangled, lay on the doormat. A… box of chocolates? What? Kakuzu never had shit like that in the house. Had one of their guests brought it? Or had someone put it through the letterbox? Was this someone's idea of a joke? Like a bunch of dead flowers; the opposite of a 'get well soon'? He picked up the remains of the box. They were high quality, though, Artisan du Chocolat, clearly with a very high cocoa content. Two fell out as he lifted it, and that was all that was left.

Hidan picked them up, hand trembling slightly and put them on the hall table. The box was chewed, not just mangled. He remembered Kakuzu telling him very sternly not to ever give the dogs chocolate after Kaze had nearly stolen a Twix out of his hand one time. It's toxic to them, he'd said. It can be fatal and at the least I'd have a massive vets bill. But the dogs had been shut in the kitchen - hadn't they? He ran down the hall. The door was shut. He wrenched it open, and three dogs hurled themselves at him, barking and whining. Kaze put his front paws up on his shoulders. Mizu twined around his legs so that he nearly fell over. Kaminari pushed against him, licking his hand. But there was no Tsuchi.

"Down!" he said, trying to sound like Kakuzu, but not managing to hit the authoritative note at all. The dogs ignored him, but he pushed on through them, over to their feeding area and the conservatory, just in case somehow Tsuchi was sleeping through this. But she wasn't there. She'd been left out. How? Where had she been? He gave the others a few treats just to get out of the kitchen without them all following him, which he wasn't supposed to do, but he didn't see any other way. Then he ran up the stairs two at a time. Where would she have gone? Had she come out during all the confusion, then got frightened by the sirens and hidden somewhere? Frantically he dashed into the living room, then the dining room, then up the next flight of stairs.

He found her in the bathroom, curled up next to the willow patterned toilet. He put a tentative hand and stroked her curly fur. She was stiff and cold and quite dead. She seemed smaller, somehow. Diminished, like Kakuzu himself. He sank down next to her, and suddenly the floodgates of emotion opened and he was sobbing so hard he was gasping for breath. How could he tell Kakuzu this? Tsuchi was his favourite, his baby, she was the one who always ran to him first, who loved him with an almost human passion. The one who'd taken on the paparazzi for them. He knew she'd have given her life for Kakuzu in an instant. How could she have been left out of the kitchen? Did Kim and Karin not know how many dogs there were? How could he not have told them? How could he have let this happen? He sat on the floor and cried and cried. "I'm sorry, Tsuchi," he gasped. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Eventually though, it seemed he had nothing left in him to come out. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there even, but taking the deepest breaths he could manage and wiping his wet face on a towel, he went back to the kitchen found the number for the vets pinned on the noticeboard next to Kakuzu's desk. Village Vets, down past the hospital. They had an emergency out of hours number, and he called that. Luckily, it was Hana Inuzuka herself who answered, who at least he'd met when they'd picked the dogs up before. She let him talk, and pieced together from his incoherent ramblings what had happened. Though she was so kind and so upset for Tsuchi herself that he started crying again, silently this time as he fought to get himself back under control. She said he could bring Tsuchi in, and they'd store her safely until Kakuzu could come in and see her.

How was he supposed to get her there, he asked. She recommended he wrap her in towels and a bin bag and get a taxi - since rigor mortis had set in she'd be easy to move now. "I'd come and get her if it was a quiet night," she said apologetically, "but it's all hands on deck right now. I have to go out to an equine emergency. I'm so sorry." Leaving it til the morning wasn't a good idea, it was a warm night…. Hidan said he'd come.

He put the phone down. There was a card for a taxi company pinned up on the noticeboard as well, but before he'd even begun to dial the number - wondering how to broach the subject of can I bring a dead dog in your cab? - his mobile began to vibrate in his hand.

He wiped the back of his hand over his eyes and peered at the screen. Then his heart lurched. It wasn't the number he'd entered in his phone for Ward 10 West but it was a local code - it could still be the hospital. Hands shaking, he flipped it open. "Yes?"

"Is that Hidan Yu?" A soft female voice.

"Y-yes. Speaking."

"I'm one of the nurses calling from the Cardiac Care Unit at the Royal Free Hospital. Your partner Kakuzu Taki has unfortunately had an occlusion in one of the stents he had inserted earlier tonight, and he's just been taken back into surgery. It's a straightforward procedure but it might be a good idea for you to come back to the hospital now."

Hidan's heart was hammering. A occlusion? What did that mean? "Oh my God! What? Is - is he going to be ok? Can they fix this?" he stammered.

"He's in the right place, Hidan, there's every chance. He'll probably be out of theatre by the time you get here."

"I'm coming in now," he gasped, running into the hall and grabbing his bike keys. Tsuchi would have to wait. "I'll be five minutes."

---

"I feel kinda bad…" said Ino, putting down the payphone at South End Green and turning back to Shikamaru and Chouji. "He sounded awful…"

"Well, don't feel bad now ." Shikamaru's voice was cold. "Save that for when I'm done with him. Come on, let's get in the car. He rides fast - he'll be here any minute now."

They did what he said, and Ino's expression was resolute again as she settled into the driver's seat. "No, I don't really feel bad, don't worry. He deserves it. I literally can't believe he had you chucked out of the hospital on top of everything else. He's a complete psychopath."

He looked at her with approval. And relief too, because she could be annoyingly tender-hearted where good-looking guys were concerned, particularly since she'd jacked in her art career and started training as a nurse. Still, he was glad she didn't know the extent of what he had in mind for Hidan. "Remember, as soon as he's down, you guys just go," he said, though they'd been through this five times already in the last hour. "Get the car to your uncle's garage Chouji, and leave the rest to me. Get ready to pull out if I say so," he reminded Ino, peering into the wing mirror. "He might well be too far out."

"I'm ready," she said, putting the car in gear, but keeping the light off, eyes on the driver's mirror.

Shikamaru readied his hand on the door latch. "For Asuma," he said, voice catching in his throat.

And as Ino and Chouji echoed his words a tiny figure appeared in the wing mirror, getting rapidly bigger and clearer. Silver hair gleaming in the moonlight, red bike, it was him. If he kept that trajectory there wasn't going to be any need to pull out. Finally, he had him right where he wanted him.

---

Hidan shot down the road towards South End Green like an arrow, the wind whipping through his hair. He didn't expect any traffic on the road at this time of night, much less any movement from the parked cars that lined the street. Thinking only of getting to the hospital, he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings at all. As he approached the bus terminus he didn't even notice the car illegally parked up on the kerb. So when the passenger door shot open a metre in front of him, he didn't stand a chance.

He barely saw it before he felt a blinding sensation of pain in his chest, then he was upside down, literally flying through the air. Over the handlebars, over the car door - the moment seemed to stretch out, and God, he didn't want it to end, because something like this ends very, very badly indeed.

As it was, he didn't notice the exact moment of landing. He just seemed to come into existence again an unquantifiable amount of time later, face down on the tarmac. Every nerve in his body felt like it had been scraped along the road surface. He almost vomited, and swallowed hard.

For a moment he couldn't think where he was, or what he'd been doing. Then he remembered - he had to get to the hospital. He peeled himself up off the road and crouched there a moment, trying to make sense of what had happened. He'd been doored, going too close to the parked cars, like an idiot. But, looking back, there were no parked cars. Had they just driven off while he was lying stunned in the road?

He could feel a trickling sensation down the side of his face, pain just fucking everywhere, his mouth full of blood. His lower lip felt badly swollen - he explored the damage with his tongue - fuck, he could actually slip it inside. He swallowed a mouthful of blood, fighting the urge to gag again; it was replaced almost immediately.

He tongue-probed his teeth next - a couple felt slightly loose and they fucking hurt, but they were all there. He spat the next mouthful of blood - carefully - onto the road, then remembered he wasn't in the residential streets anymore; he was in the middle of the junction, and he made himself get up. He didn't need to be flattened by a night bus on top of this. He limped painfully towards his bike, then half wheeled, half dragged it to the kerb. He'd walk the rest of the way. He was too dizzy to ride and his front wheel was fucked.

It wasn't until he was nearly on the pavement that he noticed a slim figure step out of the shadows and come to stand nonchalantly, weight on one leg, hands in pockets a few feet in front of him.

"You're going to have fun blowing your banker friend with that mouth," a cool voice mocked him, and he recognised the nasal, ennui-laden tone immediately. Shikamaru Nara.

"You fucking cunt," he snarled shakily. "Was - was that you? Did you fucking door me on purpose? Do you know how fucking dangerous that is?! You could've fucking killed me!"

And suddenly a chill went through him. Had he actually meant to kill him? Maybe this was more than just the absolutely irresponsible opportunistic jackassery it had seemed to be.

He let go of his bike and staggered back a step or two. He suddenly felt really lightheaded and not really up to this sort of confrontation. Still, fucked up as he clearly was, he didn't doubt that he had enough juice in him to take down this little brat. He took a deep breath and wiped blood out of his eyes. He badly wanted to lie down. But he just had to keep focusing a little longer.

Now Shikamaru was picking something up from the road. "Oh look, Hidan, it's your phone!" he said. Hidan made a lunge for it, but Shikamaru coolly stepped back and he lost his balance, falling hard onto one knee.

"You fucking piece of shit," he growled. "Give that to me! The - the hospital might-" he stopped, remembering that Shikamaru was hardly likely to show a lot of compassion - indeed, he slipped the phone into his pocket with a bored half smile. Of course he'd just handed him a ton of ammunition - he'd probably thought Hidan would want it to call an ambulance or the police; the sensible move, of course. Hidan, in fact, hadn't thought of it til that moment.

"Oh don't worry," he said lightly. "I'll be sure to pass on any... updates."

Hidan got shakily back to his feet. He had his other phone in his pocket, but the hospital didn't have that number. And Kakuzu, if he called and couldn't get hold of him... Shikamaru was moving away, walking backwards, a mocking smile on his smug young face - Hidan unthinkingly followed.

"So, the banker's in hospital?" he said. It wasn't really a question, despite being phrased as one. He knew.

"Fuck you," Hidan growled. He manoeuvred around a little as Shikamaru got the phone back out of his pocket and started to flick through his texts. He could surely overpower him, even in the state he was in, but he needed to be careful. If he could just get a little closer while he was distracted...

"Aw, that's cute," Shikamaru said, snapping the phone shut. "I love how he calls you 'sweetheart' - you wouldn't expect it from someone so reserved, would you?" He stepped smartly back as Hidan lunged for him again.

"He really loves you, doesn't he?" Again, it wasn't really a question. "Do you love him?"

"Fuck you!"

"I can't really tell from your messages - it's all 'man' this and 'massive cock', that. You're not as classy as him, you know? You're not as strong, you're not as clever. You're not even as clever as he thinks you are, which isn't very, judging by all the sweet little reminders he sends you. Without him to back you up you're screwed, aren't you Hidan?"

Suddenly there was a buzzing sound and the screen lit up. "Oh, it's ringing," Shikamaru said. "Do you think it's the hospital, Hidan? Do you think he didn't make it?"

"Give me that!" Hidan's voice was strained with emotion and Shikamaru's eyes flicked up to his face suddenly.

"So you do care about him," he said quietly. "Well - well done. So you can feel. Kind of makes this all the sweeter." And as Hidan made one last lunge for him, giving it everything now, Shikamaru sidestepped neatly and Hidan's eyes widened in horror as he saw he'd been led into a trap. In the darkness he hadn't seen the entrance to one of those old subterranean public toilets, right behind Shikamaru. Before he could think anymore about it he was teetering on the edge, losing his balance; he made a grab for the wrought iron arch, but before his hand could close on it Shikamaru viciously kicked his legs out from under him and he was wheeling over backwards.

Again, time seemed to slow down. He couldn't quite believe it as Shikamaru's grimly satisfied face swung out of view, replaced by the night sky, then starless darkness. Then the back of his head cracked sickeningly on the edge of a step, he flipped all the way over, his shin slammed into another sharp edge with a burst of blinding pain and he tumbled over and over down the slippery, rubbish strewn steps, hands sliding off the curving tiled wall as he made desperate and futile grasps for anything that would break his fall. And then the dark hole of the doorway swallowed him up like a great greedy mouth as he landed like a rag-doll; limp and broken.

He probably blacked out for a few moments, or God knows how long, but when he became aware of his surroundings again Shikamaru was still there, illuminated by the streetlamps and gazing calmly and coldly down at him from what looked like an impossible distance above. And he knew before he even tried it that he wouldn't be able to get up. Something was broken - he could feel the mind-numbing pain of it, and the familiar blacking in and out that told him he'd done something really bad, but he couldn't quite put his finger on where.

He must have said Kakuzu's name, because the silhouette looking down on him laughed cruelly and said lightly, "Aw, you want your boyfriend? You want to give him a call? Here you go then… but he won't be coming to find you this time."

"No, don't!" he tried to shout, but he'd barely taken in half a painful rasping breath before he was watching the phone sail through the air in a slow-motion looping arc as Shikamaru tossed it down after him. He was never meant to catch it, though he tried. That was when he realised he couldn't move his right arm. The attempt nearly made him black out again and the phone smashed down onto the tiles a foot out of reach anyway, the battery skidding off it into the darkness. He won't be coming to find you this time. So it was the hospital calling then. What had they said? Was Kakuzu…?

"Oops," Shikamaru said coldly. "That was a bad miss Hidan. Your last chance, really."

"Why are you...?" Hidan breathed. It hurt to make any sound at all. "Why...?!"

"Asuma, Hidan. Don't you remember Asuma? You killed him. A little girl is going to grow up never knowing her dad because of what you did. Her family is destroyed before she's even born. And that's on you."

Hidan tried to say something, but all that came out was a whimper of pain.

"And it seems you weren't so good for the banker either," Shikamaru continued remorselessly. "All that stress you caused him. In the end he just couldn't take it, could he?"

Casually, he kicked a few fly-tipped rubbish bags down the steps on top of him. "Did you know George Michael was once arrested for cottaging down there?" he said. "Kind of an appropriate resting place for you." He gave a short sneering laugh, then turned away.

"Bye now, Hidan," he said, over his shoulder. "I don't suppose we'll be seeing each other again."

"You're fucking wrong," Hidan rasped up into the darkness, his head immediately swimming from the pain of the sharp inhale. "I'll fucking get out of here and I will find you and I'll fucking kill you, you fucking piece of shit!" But he was exhausted. His voice was cracked and weak - he knew honestly, a sick-feeling deep down knowledge - that he couldn't keep it up. Couldn't even keep making any noise at all. His rib cage hurt, taking a deep breath in hurt so much he nearly passed out. He coughed - that was agony too - and again he could taste the metallic tang of blood in his throat.

And Shikamaru was gone. Had he been telling the truth? Or just messing with him? "Kakuzu!" he whispered, heart hammering with panic again. He needed to be there! And he was so close, but he couldn't do anything. He tried to figure out what damage he'd sustained, but everything hurt so much he couldn't tell. He wondered if there was any chance his phone was salvageable, if he could find the battery, and he tested his right arm again, but even trying to move it was agony. And useless. Then he remembered about his work phone, but the problem was the same. It was in his pocket and he tried to reach across his body with his left arm to get it but the pressure it put on his ribcage made him cry out hoarsely with pain and he had to stop. His head was swimming again. He gave himself a minute, trying just to breathe and muster any strength he had left, then he lifted his head to try and get a better picture of his situation. But immediately it started off hammer blows of pain inside his skull, and all he saw was his right leg bent up at a distinctly unnatural angle on the bottom step. That was enough to make him lose consciousness again.

The night wound on in a cycle of blackness, then pain, nausea, desperate too-vivid thoughts followed by attempts to move followed by more blackness. Feverish dreams. Awareness of being cold, then hot, then cold again.

Rain came down, soaking him to the skin, and somehow he managed to drag himself a little further into the shelter of the doorway. He thought he felt something shift inside him, and a sudden wave of weakness and nausea. His cheek resting on the cold tiled floor, stinking of fag ends and urine and garbage, he wished he'd stayed in the rain. But there was no way he could move again. He was absolutely at the end of his strength. He could vaguely make out the shape of the urinals on the walls and a door hanging drunkenly off one of the stalls. A scattering of condoms and needles littered the floor directly in front of his face.

He couldn't hold on to any awareness of where he was anymore - one moment he thought he was in the car with Kakuzu, tired and carsick, driving through the night, rain lashing the windscreen; then he remembered he was in Deidara's squat, staying over after a bad trip; then he realised he must've blacked out in the shower after a too-intense ritual. The water had gone cold - he needed to get out or he was going to get ill, and lose too much blood, but he couldn't move. Kakuzu will be back soon, he told himself. Kakuzu will get me out. Kakuzu will- and then a sudden flash of reality. The almost unbelievable reality. Unbelievable pain. Utter helplessness. Completely alone. He won't be coming to find you this time .

Again, he was on the motorway, sick and cold, speeding through the rain. The air reverberated with some kind of enormous banging which shook the ground. A flash in the sky. They were crashing, there was blood everywhere, he could feel it, he could taste it. Kakuzu beside him, white and broken, his eyes half closed, his body jolting with electricity. Then sirens. But far away. And Kakuzu isn't there anymore.

He groped for his rosary with his left hand, and as his almost numb fingers closed around the cold metal he drifted away again. He was going to be with Jashin. He could almost see him clearly now. Wings of pain enfolding him. Hands like curved talons lifting him. He tried to embrace the pain and let it flow through him, let it purify him for Jashin, but it was too much. He was fighting against it, and Jashin wouldn't accept him like this. He was slipping, falling, the talons rending him as he fell back to the earth, to the cold tiles, the garbage and the rain. "Jashin please," he whispered. "Please. Don't leave me here."

---

Kakuzu woke up in the dawn as the day shift took over. It took him a few moments to understand where he was, and what had happened. Then it all came flooding back. The awful party. The heart attack. Hazy memories of the angiogram and stenting, drifting in and out. Then talking to Hidan and Kabuto in recovery. Urging Hidan to go home and get some rest. He reached for his phone and saw that it was 7.05. So Hidan would be back here any minute. In fact, there was a text from him. 'See you at 7, I love you xx' . He felt a little disappointed that after that he hadn't made it on time, but then remembered how pale he'd been last night, and clearly dropping with tiredness. It was understandable if he was running a few minutes late.

The door of the ward opened, but it was Kabuto who came in. "Good morning Kakuzu," he said, then looked around. "Hidan not here yet?" he asked, glasses glinting disapprovingly. "I told him 7am."

"No…" Kakuzu said, thinking of Hidan maybe panicked and lost in the maze of hospital corridors and feeling a surge of anxiety. "I hope he's not having trouble finding the ward."

"Well, I'm sure if he is somebody will soon set him straight!" Kabuto said reassuringly. "I'm just going off shift now, but I thought I'd pop up and see how you were doing. You're looking a lot better than last night, I must say."

"Thanks to you, Kabuto," Kakuzu said. "I understand that I'm pretty lucky you happened to be here."

Kabuto clearly wasn't in that much of a hurry - their shared history was too much of a temptation, and he proceeded to sit down and talk over Kakuzu's ECG trace with him in forensic detail.

"You'll see another cardiologist in half an hour," he admitted finally, clearly not that keen to give up his patient to a rival, "who'll be monitoring you throughout the day. But looking at your output from last night things seem very positive. The arrhymic episodes you experienced before were probably v-tach, as a result of the myocardial ischemia that progressed into total occlusion last night. We won't know for sure about the damage til we've done the echocardiogram, but there really wasn't an enormous amount of plaque. I'm wondering if it was a mental stress induced ischemia. Would you say you were under a-"

Kakuzu gave a grim laugh. "It was the dinner party from hell, Kabuto," he said. "I'm not sure there's any kind of stress I didn't experience last night. Plus, more than I would usually drink, of course, which wouldn't have helped."

"Mm. And you'd definitely qualify as a hot reactor," Kabuto said, looking at him sideways as if daring him to disagree. "Well, I do wonder if the damage to the myocardium from the MI has exacerbated a pre-existing condition, and I want to keep a close eye on it. Although it's chicken and egg, obviously, if your heart has been working less effectively than it should for a while, then that will have put you at an elevated risk of-"

Kakuzu had stopped listening. It was twenty past now, and still no sign of Hidan. He reached for his phone again. "Sorry to stop you, Kabuto," he said. "I'm just going to call him… maybe he's had some trouble with the dogs, they're a bit of a handful for him at the best of times..."

But the phone didn't even ring. Just an automated voice telling him the number was unavailable. Had he forgotten to charge it? But surely not, when that was the number he'd given the hospital. He rang the house, and the phone just rang and rang, then went to the answer machine, but then that was to be expected. Because he was meant to be on his way. Meant to be here.

"Maybe he mistook the time," Kabuto said soothingly. "I expect he's aiming for 7:30 instead."

"No, he texted me," Kakuzu said, not looking up. "He knew the time."

As he was digging around in his phone for Hidan's work number, panicking a bit now, Kabuto's voice cut into his thoughts, sympathetic but firm. "Look Kakuzu, this is a big change for him. And he's had to take in it very suddenly. We might simply be looking at a situation where he's ... needing to take some time to himself."

"You think he's not coming? You think he's left me?" Kakuzu almost laughed. Not quite. "Kabuto, you don't know Hidan at all!"

"I'm just saying don't jump to conclusions, Kakuzu - you don't need to assume that anything untoward has happened. It's far more likely that-"

"Hidan is a very direct person," Kakuzu protested. "If he needed to do that, he'd tell me so to my face. That last thing he'd do is just slope off!" He could feel an unfamiliar sense of panic rising in him. The idea that Hidan was in trouble wouldn't go away. And there was nothing he could do - he couldn't make Kabuto take it seriously, and he couldn't himself put his finger on why he was quite so worried. Neither of them were the most punctual people in the world... But to be so helpless was agony. His eyes flicked towards the cardiac monitor and Kabuto didn't miss that.

"Kakuzu, don't even think about disconnecting yourself from that." He paused and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Look, I wasn't actually saying anything as drastic as 'he's left you' - but just consider for a moment - saying something to your face that will hurt you badly is not going to be so easy when you're like this. You're not the invincible big daddy right now, Kakuzu. I would be very very surprised if he's hasn't just been painting the town red somewhere; coming to terms with everything he's had to hear."

Kakuzu stared at him despairingly. He thought about Hidan leaning over him, kissing him so tenderly, saying don't worry about it; I'll sort it; I'll be back before you're even awake . He calculated again the time it would take him to feed the dogs, walk them, maybe pick up some bits and pieces he might need. Maybe have a cup of tea, fix something to eat. To walk back here. Or ride, probably, even quicker.

Any way he added it up, it didn't make any difference. Hidan wouldn't have been late for him today. He wouldn't have slept through his alarm. Unless…

"Heart attacks are notoriously hard on partners, Kakuzu," Kabuto was saying. "I know Hidan said all the right things last night, but he was badly shaken."

"That's all the more reason why we have to find him," Kakuzu choked out. His mouth was suddenly very dry. Of course something like this would've sent him straight to Jashin! Why hadn't he thought of it immediately? "You don't know what he does to himself when he's- when he's-"

That did seem to get through. "What does he do, Kakuzu?" Kabuto was looking keenly at him now, and he gave him a brief and to the point description of Hidan's rituals.

"So that's why you were carrying packs of saline!" Kabuto exclaimed. "Well, alright, I can see that that's a worry. Look, what about if I take your keys and just check out the house on my way home? I'm supposed to be clocking off now anyway. I'm sure everything's fine, but if it'll stop you worrying..."

Kakuzu agreed immediately, trying hard not to think about how much time might have elapsed if Hidan had passed out from blood loss.

When Kabuto left him, he reached for his phone and called Hidan again. The person you are calling is unable to take your call . Called his other work phone. It rang and rang, then voicemail. A deep breath. Keep calm . He's done this enough times. He knows how not to kill himself. Sort of. And Kabuto will find him any minute and there's no better emergency medic anywhere, he'll know what to do, he'll be able to stabilise him.

---

But fifteen minutes later Kabuto called and told him Hidan wasn't at the house. "And, Kakuzu, I want you to try and keep calm about this, but one of your dogs is dead. I… just found her in the bathroom."

Kakuzu just couldn't take it in for a moment. On top of everything. He just sat in stunned silence.

"Kakuzu?"

"Yes. Sorry. I." He didn't know what to say, or do. He felt so helpless here. He took a deep breath. "Which one is it? Can you check the tag? On the collar."

There was a moment's pause, then, "it says 'Tsuchi', Kakuzu."

"Oh." He took another deep breath. "Oh God." More than anything he just wanted Hidan with him. Hidan would have known how to make sense of this. Grief for Tsuchi was there, like a block in his mind, but it was as though he just couldn't feel it. He was numb. "Kabuto, can you… is there any indication what - what happened to her?"

"I don't know Kakuzu." Kabuto's voice was sombre. "It looks like she was sick on the landing but other than that I just couldn't say. Is there … anything you want me to do?"

"No, no, Kabuto you've gone above and beyond already. I'll call my vets, they're really good, they'll." He swallowed, hard. "They'll sort things out and check on the others. The other are alright, are they?"

Kabuto told him they seemed fine, but he didn't think they'd had their breakfast. Cue another, deeper stab of worry about Hidan. He told Kabuto what to give them, and asked again if there was any sign of him at all.

No trace of any blood ritual anywhere, Kabuto said. Yes, he'd checked all the bathrooms. He'd been in all the rooms, and the garden. No sign that he'd been home at all. "Or maybe after finding the dog like that he just couldn't bear to tell you, Kakuzu," he suggested.

"Kakuzu, I promise you, we'll find him," he said. "I admit this puts a worrying perspective on things. I've already asked people to check hospital admissions for you on the off-chance that something has happened. But I need you to focus on getting well. OK? Do it for his sake, if nothing else. And maybe try ringing round his friends."

"Is his bike there?" Kakuzu wanted to know. That might give some indication of how far he was planning to go, at least. Or not, he'd known him ride it down to the tube, which was about a one minute walk. Yeah, but that's 15 seconds on the bike! Hidan would argue and just thinking about it made him want him here so badly. Anyway, Kabuto said no it wasn't.

"So he did go home," Kakuzu said.

"I suppose so," Kabuto said. "Look, Kakuzu, I'm sorry this hasn't been more help but I have to go, I've just had an urgent call - there's been an incident in Camden and they need doctors on the scene. I'm going to see what I can do." He promised he'd call immediately if he heard anything and left Kakuzu to his dark thoughts.

Today's cardiac lead had come onto the ward now, and he didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want it rammed down his throat how weak he was, how helpless, how trapped. And he'd already been through quite enough cardiologist talk with Kabuto. Luckily he was beginning at the other end. Kakuzu looked down at his phone. Calling Hidan's friends had been going to be his next move anyway, though it was hard to imagine who he might have contacted. Of course, a month ago it would have been Deidara, but now… he wasn't sure. Anyway, first he had to call the vets.

Kiba Inuzuka answered the phone, the young brother of the lady who owned the practice. He often walked Kakuzu's dogs while he was away, and Kakuzu was sure he'd be willing to go over to the house and sort things out. What he hadn't expected was for Kiba to know what had happened already.

"Yeah, apparently your boyfriend called last night," he told him. "Around 2:30. Hana said he was really upset, that you were in hospital and Tsuchi had died. What's happened, Mr Taki? Hana said he was going to get a taxi and bring her in. But he never showed up. She actually asked me to go over now and see if everything was ok."

It's not ok , Kakuzu thought desperately. This was getting worse and worse . "I'm… not sure, Kiba," he said, as calmly as he could, which wasn't very. "I'm stuck in hospital and I don't know where Hidan is either." It suddenly struck him that Hana might well have been the last person to speak to him before he dropped off the radar, and, "Can I speak to Hana please?" he said abruptly. "I just- I'd just like to know what he said."

"Sure thing," Kiba said casually. "Hana!" he yelled into the background. "Mr Taki on the phone for you!"

Hana Inuzuka sounded bewildered. Yes, she confirmed, Hidan had called, and asked what he should do. He had definitely been going to bring Tsuchi in and he hadn't sounded flaky or like it was too much for him. He'd been very upset, but he'd wanted to do the right thing for Tsuchi.

"She'd got into the hall and eaten a box of chocolates, he said," she told him. "He blamed himself for not making sure she was in the kitchen with the others. He said, how am I going to tell Kakuzu."

"Oh God," Kakuzu said. "Oh God! I'd just gone into cardiac arrest in front of him! He'd just given me CPR for a full five minutes! How could he think I would blame him?"

"I think most of all he didn't want to upset you, Mr. Taki," Hana said gently. "I don't think he thought you'd blame him."

She said she'd go over herself and bring Tsuchi into the surgery, and get Kiba to walk the others. "We can look in twice a day until you're out of hospital," she said. "And… would you like me to perform a post-mortem? Just so we're sure what happened?" Heart sinking, he agreed. He didn't need any more uncertainty.

Once he was off the phone he felt more worried than ever. Hidan had gone out again, after getting home. Why? Where could he have been going at that time of night? And what could have taken precedence over taking Tsuchi to the vets?

He called Kisame. Maybe he would have seen Hidan come or go... But his phone was switched off.

Then he did call Deidara, and Konan, and Zetsu and finally even Tobi, but no-one picked up. Maybe it was just too early, though with Hidan nearly an hour late now, it didn't feel like it.

Finally he called the police and tried to get them to take Hidan seriously as a missing person and look for him, but he knew at once that they weren't taking his concerns seriously.

"Look, he has a history of self harm and substance abuse," he said, feeling horrible - he knew how much Hidan would hate to hear himself described in those terms. But how else could he give his fears weight? "He'd just been through an incredibly distressing experience when I went into cardiac arrest in front of him. I'm really worried about him."

They filed a report, but he didn't believe they were actually going to do anything. Not soon enough anyway. It was all empty words. He knew that Hidan wasn't going to be found like this.

He would have argued more but a beep alerted him to the fact that he had a call waiting. It was Konan. At first he simply didn't understand anything she was saying. He thought perhaps she was somewhere with very bad signal. Then he realised she was in tears and barely coherent. She hadn't seen Hidan, but eventually he understood that there'd been an explosion last night at Deidara's squat. Half the building was gone. Deidara and Tobi were both missing too.

Kakuzu felt his blood run cold. Could Hidan have gone there ? Might - might Deidara have called him and told him he was about to do something crazy… and could Hidan have shot over there to try and talk him down? He knew how worried Hidan had been about the new piece Dei was planning, even though they hadn't been speaking… that dream he'd had… He screwed his eyes shut, imagining him lying hurt and helpless in the burning building, his worst nightmare caught up with him. Passing out from smoke inhalation..? The floor collapsing beneath him..? He groaned and buried his face in his hands. Konan said the firefighters were still struggling to get the blaze under control. No one had yet been able to search through the rubble or enter the upper floors of the building. A sick feeling of certainty that Hidan had been there began to settle on him.

Then he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he'd been certain Hidan was bleeding out at the house too. Dwelling on disaster scenarios wasn't helpful, or practical. It occurred to him that the time of the explosion was something he could easily find out, and a few minutes of browsing news sites later he found it had been at 3:17am.

He tried to work out the times again. Kiba said Hidan had called around 2:30. Even allowing for the fact that he might easily have waited 15 minutes for a taxi before speaking to Deidara - even if he'd spent 15-20 minutes on the phone to him, it was only a 10 minute cycle ride or less at the speed Hidan went, he'd get there before quarter past three. It was entirely possible. Then he realised that this must be the incident in Camden the Kabuto had been called to, and he rang him again and left a message.

Before he'd even finished he was descended on by the cardiologist, and although the state of his myocardium was the last thing he wanted to think about now, he supposed he'd better cooperate. He tried - ridiculously - asking if he could be discharged, but the cardiologist predictably said absolutely not. They needed to do an echocardiogram and it probably wouldn't be before the afternoon. And Kakuzu should certainly be resting and avoiding ECG trace from the night didn't show any sign of ventricular tachycardia, but the ambulance ECG had, and given the arrhythmias he'd experienced in the last few weeks they needed to do some more investigation. But he was on a schedule, and after telling Kakuzu to make lifestyle changes and come to cardiac rehab, he moved on.

Not long after, Kabuto called him back - no-one of Hidan's description had been brought out of the building. Or Deidara's either for that matter. And incidentally there was no red bike tied up anywhere nearby.

It didn't necessarily mean anything. Hidan might have taken his bike into the building - but Kakuzu was conscious of a slight lessening of the awful certainty that he had been there.

"I'm in an ambulance, we're coming back in with a patient," Kabuto told him, sounding exhausted. "Someone else you know - it's Itachi's little brother. I think he'll make it, though God only knows how, it was a horrendous scene, something must have shielded him from the full blast." He paused. "I'm… sorry about Deidara. There's still no sign but it doesn't look good - the blast definitely came from his studio. But there's really honestly no reason to assume Hidan was here."

"OK," Kakuzu said. It was hard to know how else to respond. Kabuto told him the police were checking CCTV footage of the area, and they'd call him if they saw anyone who looked like Hidan going in. It was a good sign that they hadn't already called him, he said, though Kakuzu wasn't quite sure he was buying that.

"I probably won't see you when I come in, I'll see Sasuke into surgery and then see if I can get a few hours sleep in the on-call room. I'm not going to make it home now…"

"Oh, you still have one of those, do you?" That caught Kakuzu's attention.

"Only because it's about the size of a broom cupboard and none of the managers wanted it for an office," Kabuto replied acidly.

"I think I remember that one from my student days," Kakuzu said. It wasn't far from the CCU actually. And it made him think it wouldn't be so hard to get out of here at all - if he had any idea of where to go.

As he put the phone down, the ward nurse came over to give him his medication.

"Not got hold of your boyfriend yet, lovely?" she asked him sympathetically as he took the pills she gave him obediently.

"No," he said.

She checked his monitor and straightened his covers. "Did he have far to come?"

"It's a five minute walk," Kakuzu said flatly.

And as she left him, still making sympathetic noises and saying she was sure everything was fine and Hidan would be here soon and there'd be some perfectly reasonable explanation, he felt the last of that small surge of relief drain away. If Hidan hadn't been going to see Deidara, well, where else would he have been tearing off to in such a hurry? He didn't believe for a moment that he was off to 'paint the town red' somewhere. But… then what?

And as he sat and thought, Kisame called him back.

"Kakuzu!" he exclaimed as soon as he picked up. "I'm glad to hear your voice! Look - what happened?! The last thing we saw was a bunch of paramedics running into your house! Suigetsu's been trying to call Hidan but—"

Kakuzu cut him off. "I had a heart attack, but that's not important now. Kisame, are you at home? Hidan's missing and I'm stuck in hospital. No-one's heard from him since 2:30 in the morning. Did you see him?"

"Fucking hell! A heart attack?! And Hidan's— man that's awful." Kisame sounded genuinely shocked. "Christ. I'm really sorry, but around that time I was still in A&E - I got dragged in after I, er, had a little bust-up with one of your other guests… and now we're on an early train down to Devon. Once I got discharged we decided it might be a good idea to get out of London for a while, and we just ran home and packed few things and headed straight to Paddington..."

"We..?" Kakuzu asked.

"Me and Suigetsu," Kisame said almost apologetically. "He... we... umm… he came with me in the ambulance after I… oh, you don't want to hear about this now! Look, shall I get off at Bristol and get a train back? It sounds like you need- Oh, hang on! Suigetsu's-"

Kakuzu could hear their voices murmuring intimately to each other. Well, there clearly wasn't much point disapproving anymore. It seemed Hidan had been right all along. Then Kisame's voice was back on the line.

"Kakuzu? You still there? Look… Suigetsu says have you tried Grindr?"

Kakuzu spluttered something incoherent, and, "I know, I know," Kisame said soothingly, "but apparently Hidan logged in on Friday because he and Suigetsu were having a contest to see who could get the most unsolicited dick pics in a day. Anyway, he may still have it on."

"He gets messages every five minutes if he has that thing on!" Kakuzu said disparagingly. "I would have noticed."

Another behind the scenes murmur, then, "Suigetsu says they had it on silent because they were working… so knowing Hidan, he probably forgot he was even logged in."

"Christ!" Kakuzu massages his temples with his free hand. It was true that he probably would've done. Hidan was terrible about logging out of anything. And it did offer a glimmer of hope. "How do I even…?"

"Just google the app and download it - it's free, and you don't even need to put any information in your profile at all to start seeing who's around. If he's nearby, you'll see him. Just keep scrolling down."

Kakuzu felt furtive and uncomfortable as he downloaded it. He wished he could've carried on talking to Kisame as he did it, but of course that was impossible. He thought of him zooming off to the South West with his adorable young boyfriend, leaving all his troubles behind, and it made him feel impossibly alone and beleaguered. However, Kisame was right, it was pretty easy. He entered his email and age, made a password, and he was in.

His first thought was that a large proportion of the Royal Free's patients must be whiling away the hours on here, because surely it wasn't normal to have such a conglomeration of gay men all so near each other. Hidan wasn't on the first page, but he clicked on a random profile halfway down and the distance was still only 50m! So he followed Kisame's advice and kept scrolling. Then he jumped as a jaunty little percussive sound suddenly emanated from his phone! Shit! Who was messaging him already? He didn't even have a name, let alone a profile picture! Did people get notified if you clicked on them? Feverishly he dived into settings and found silent mode.

He scrolled a little further, then hit the bottom and a button that said 'load more guys'. He clicked it and waited tensely. And suddenly, there he was. He was wearing his Akatsuki dressing gown, and looking a little upwards at the camera, smirking dangerously but somehow looking vulnerable at the same time. The sight of him made Kakuzu's desperation skyrocket. He tapped the picture, nearly dropping his phone in his haste, and could hardly believe his eyes when he saw the distance. 230m. That must be literally just outside the hospital. Hell, it could even be inside the hospital. Clearly, it was time to take matters into his own hands.

Waiting for the nurse to be at the other end of the ward, he struggled into a sitting position and waited there for a moment at the edge of the bed, breathing carefully, deeply. He felt alright. His chest was quite tender from Hidan's extremely enthusiastic CPR - he suspected he might have cracked a rib or two - but there was no cardiac pain. And at least he had a clear purpose now. He monitored his heart rate for a minute. It felt absolutely fine. He told himself that the progressive ischemia had been causing the VT, and the VT caused the V fib, and now he'd been stented he'd be fine. Squashing down any thoughts about the consequences of the myocardial damage he'd inevitably sustained. He disconnected himself from his cardiac monitor, and got up, slowly, taking the drip stand with him. Then, cautiously he headed towards the door.

The nurse descended on him immediately and he told her he was going to the toilet. She clucked at him a bit, but he put on his suavest doctorly manner and reassured her he'd be careful and that he felt fine, and she let him go. But after he emerged, instead of going back to the ward he located that on-call room. Thank goodness, he'd made it before Kabuto did. It was indeed exactly where it had been when he was a student here, and there was a spare set of scrubs ripe and ready for the taking, as he'd expected. He sat down for a moment, then disconnected himself from the drip, removed the cannula and taped up the IV site. Then he shed his emasculating hospital gown and pulled the scrubs on. It was a pity about the ridiculous hospital flip flop things, but carrying his shoes out of the ward would have looked much too suspicious. He grabbed a surgical mask for good measure. It was near enough the CCU not to be too weird and he couldn't afford to be recognised.

He walked far more confidently as he stepped out of the room. It was good to have a purpose, to be doing something. He slipped his phone in the pocket of his scrubs and walked away from the ward without a backwards glance.

He had to slow down after just a few minutes. He was tireder than he'd realised and it was too much of a struggle to keep up the brisk doctorly pace he'd adopted as part of his disguise. But following his instincts and hazy memories through the maze of corridors, he managed to navigate his way out of the hospital through the emergency department without too many funny looks, and soon found himself out in the fresh air of early morning. It was cool and overcast for now, but with the promise of getting as hot as yesterday already in the air. It had rained in the night and thank goodness the mugginess which had plagued them all day yesterday was gone. He would have struggled moving through that.

He sat down on a low wall because his legs felt like they were made of lead, and checked the app again. He was closer. Hidan's profile said 50m now. He gave himself a minute and tried to think. He had to be careful. Half his medication had been being administered intravenously and he was no use to Hidan if he had another MI now. Opposite him, across the road, a number 46 bus began to move out of the bus station. The sun broke through the cloud cover and glinted on the roof of the ornamental drinking fountain. There was no-one around.

Thinking of the 50m as a radius around him, he supposed that there was still some chance that Hidan had been brought into A&E and no-one had told him yet. He wished he'd had a chance to refresh the app inside, but he wasn't going to risk going back in now to check. Taking it slowly, he got up and crossed the road to the glorified traffic island that was the green itself, looking out for any sign that Hidan had been here. He made it past the pair of phone boxes, and the scrubby area of grass surrounded by incongruously well-maintained little hedges, and was very glad to find a bench just past the drinking fountain. He sat down and refreshed Grindr again. 25m. He shivered suddenly, and looked around. Still no-one in sight - but something red caught his eye. Something dumped in the municipal planting on the other side of the road, nearly hidden behind a large pampas grass. Bracing himself, and shaking with the effort it took, he got up again and crossed over for a closer look.

It was a bike. A bike a lot like Hidan's - except that it had clearly been through the mill. The paintwork was scratched and the front wheel bent as though it had been in a collision. There was something stuck under the saddle. He leant over, remembering only just in time that he mustn't try to lift it. But one glimpse was enough. It was a shred of duct tape hanging there, where once Hidan had kept a pack of razor blades.

He straightened up, suppressing a groan. His imagination was playing out his worst fears again. A hit and run, Hidan bleeding on the tarmac - but then, where was he? So close to the hospital, he'd've been brought in immediately. Someone would have seen him, even in the middle of the night. The night buses would still have been coming around. Unless.

Unless he'd been dumped somewhere, like the bike. Kakuzu leant heavily on the wrought iron arch that led down to one of the entrances to the public toilet and looked down at his phone. Should he call the police and tell them what he'd found. Surely they would take this seriously. But first, he refreshed Grindr again.

Five metres away.

Again, he looked around. No one was here. Perhaps the phone had fallen out of his pocket when he came off, or maybe it had been dumped with the bike. But then he looked down, and shivered. It wasn't only George Michael who'd cottaged here - Kakuzu himself had had an encounter or two down there in his time. He knew that the two archways and sets of steps led down to a tunnel which connected them. It was actually beautiful Victorian architecture - a crying shame that the local council had stopped maintaining it properly. Anyway, it was worth a look.

Carefully he picked his way down the steps, strewn with rubbish and slick with rain. The toilets had been out of order since earlier in the year, and the stairwells had become a dumping ground. He kept a keen lookout for a black oblong among the trash, but he saw nothing, and went into the tunnel. Inside, it was much as he remembered. A row of dark wooden doors to the stalls, a row of urinals, and beyond them a bright archway leading you out again. With no other lighting apart from the dirty skylights in the roof it was dark, and he walked to the middle, refreshing the app again and waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dimness. The signal wasn't good down here... He waited.

And, from the other doorway, he heard his name. It was barely a whisper, just a rasping exhalation of breath. "Kakuzu?" But he'd've known that voice anywhere.

Skidding and stumbling on the damp tiles, he closed the distance between them in less than a second. "Hidan!" He crouched down beside him. "Hidan!"

He was freezing, despite the mild summer air. Ashen with blood loss. Kakuzu could barely take in the extent of his injuries. His eyes were wide and his jaw clenched with pain.

"Kakuzu…" he breathed hoarsely, again. "You're alive!" His eyes filled with tears. "He told me … the hospital..."

"Who said?" Kakuzu demanded. "Baby, who did this to you?"

But Hidan didn't answer, he didn't seem to hear - the effort of talking seemed to have exhausted him. His hand groped for Kakuzu's and his eyes drifted closed again. He looked illuminated, his skin seemed translucent. Kakuzu could see immediately that a set of injuries that were pretty serious but not life threatening had become in what? - five, six hours? - a very different prospect indeed.

He got on the phone for an ambulance immediately, checking for anything he could tell them that might give Hidan a better chance. Telling them to prepare for an on-scene blood transfusion, to make sure a doctor was part of the team, not just paramedics. Because this really wasn't good. Hidan was in a state of medical shock already - he just didn't know why. There must be internal bleeding somewhere - his left leg was clearly broken, and his right arm. Out of those the leg was the likelier culprit, you could lose a litre into a leg fracture like that. But Hidan had clearly lost more than that. His chest was injured too, maybe by whatever had happened to him on his bike - and possibly a broken rib had caused some major tissue damage. Maybe even a punctured lung, because he could see he'd been coughing up blood. Or, looking at the bruising covering his abdomen - much worse on the left - a ruptured spleen was not unlikely. And it had been hours.

"Kakuzu?" The pressure on his hand increased momentarily - Hidan was coming round again. "This - this is bad... right? You're being... so fucking gentle..."

"Am I not normally gentle?" Kakuzu asked, avoiding the question but not able to hold back tears. He felt like his heart was breaking. I can't help him , he thought, and his utter powerlessness was devastating. Until the ambulance gets here there's actually nothing else I can do.

Hidan cracked an agonising smile. "You do get a kick out of pushing me around a bit, don't deny it..."

"Baby, don't!" Kakuzu felt his whole body racking with noiseless sobs. He lay down beside Hidan in the rubbish, put his arms around him as best he could without moving him or putting any pressure on his shattered ribcage. Held his icy hand and willed his own body heat to warm him. "Tell me what happened," he urged him, as much to try and keep him conscious as anything. Silencing the voice in his head telling him that otherwise he might never know.

Hidan gave a sort of sobbing laugh. "I got fucking doored, Kakuzu," he gasped. "Like a fucking amateur idiot. And then he… he tripped me down here… I didn't see the steps..."

"Who did, Hidan?"

"I… really fucked up, Kakuzu…"

He couldn't talk any more. He was utterly spent. Kakuzu didn't press him for any more, just held him and kissed him and murmured to him that he wasn't an idiot, he hadn't fucked up, that it was fine, it was all going to fine. But Hidan's eyes fluttered open once more and stayed fixed on his, and he could tell he wasn't buying it. He was under no illusions now. "Kakuzu…?"

"Yes, Hidan?" He tried to keep his voice calm, encouraging.

"I'm… so glad you're with me, Kakuzu…"

"I'm glad I'm with you too, sweetheart," he whispered back. It was true. Yes, he was powerless to help him, but this was where he needed to be. There was nowhere else in the world he wanted to be right now.

"Kakuzu... I can see his face," Hidan breathed. "I can see it clearly now."

"… whose face, love?" he asked, as gently as he could.

"I ... think I can see the face of Jashin..."

Kakuzu felt tears coursing down his cheeks. Hidan's eyes were still wide open. "Hidan, can you see me?"

"No, but I know you're with me." His voice was barely audible, close as he was. His breathing so light and rapid. "You… you are with me... aren't you?"

"I'm with you, Hidan."

"I wish I could see you. I'm... kind of scared, Kakuzu." His voice rose, like a frightened child. "I'd rather see you than this... I'm not ready for this..."

"Don't be scared, love, I'm with you." He squeezed his hand, kissed his forehead, his mouth - felt just the faintest response. "Can you feel me now? Of course you're not ready. You're not going anywhere with anyone. You're staying with me."

"I'll love you forever Kakuzu." His voice was so faint now, and slow. "Do... that again. Because I want you to be the… the last thing I feel..."

Kakuzu couldn't see at all either as he leant over Hidan, and kissed him again, as gentle as he could be, again and again. "I love you," he breathed. "That's going to be the last thing I feel, I can promise you. When I'm fucking ninety, with you beside me, you'll be there with me, I promise, you're not going anywhere..."

Two minutes later, as lights flashed and sirens screamed above him, Hidan was unconscious in his arms, breathing so shallowly he could barely feel it against his lips. Seconds later he heard Kabuto's voice, felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Kakuzu, you are the worst patient in the world, but I can't fault your instincts. Thank goodness you didn't listen to me."

He knelt up, surprised for a moment by how difficult it was and the pain in his chest - he'd forgotten his own condition - "get fluids in him now," he said urgently, his voice cracking and hoarse, "he's bleeding internally, we've got maybe minutes to make a difference here-"

"Kakuzu, you've done enough, we need to get you back to the hospital. I've got this now." Kabuto quietly slipped a cannula into Hidan's arm and started a saline drip. "He's severely in shock already. I'd judge that he's lost well over 20%," he said to the paramedic who joined them with a stretcher.

"Of course he has!" Kakuzu shouted. "Look at him! Just get the damn fluids in him! And we need to give him a blood transfusion here. Now! You can't move him like this!"

"I know that, Kakuzu," Kabuto was working fast, packing him around with blankets and arranging support for his broken arm while one of the paramedics intubated him. "We've got blood bags with us, don't worry, they're bringing them down now. Thank goodness we're so near the hospital - we need to get him into surgery as quickly as possible. As soon as we can move him we'll have to risk it. I'm concerned about this head trauma, and he's hypothermic as well, from the blood loss."

Kakuzu knew that. He dropped his face into his hands. He was shaking. Now that Kabuto had taken over he seemed to be losing all the self control he had been so desperately holding on to til now. Even if they could stabilise him, the damage on a cellular level might already be too great… Someone put a blanket around him, but the warmth wasn't comforting. He felt like he'd rather be feeling the cold with Hidan. He was aware of people urging him to come away, but stayed resolutely where he was.

"Kakuzu, I wish you'd let someone take you up to an ambulance," Kabuto said calmly. "If I bring Hidan back from this and lose you, the boy's going to kill me!"

"No!" Kakuzu insisted. "He was still talking to me a minute ago! If he comes round and I'm not here-" He knew, absolutely, that Hidan needed him not to leave his side. If he didn't have Kakuzu to hold him here, he'd go straight to Jashin. "Anyway, I'm fine," he lied.

"You're not fine, Kakuzu," Kabuto said crisply. "Your heart's stopped twice in the last 12 hours. And he's not going to come round - we're keeping him under now. Be realistic." He was splinting Hidan's injured leg. "This isn't as bad as I feared. There hasn't been any obstruction. And the bleed, though considerable, is fairly well contained now.

"That means the main bleed is in his chest. Or abdomen." Kakuzu said hoarsely. "That's worse."

"He would've lost a lot through these head injuries," Kabuto said, putting gauze over them though it was late to minimise infection risk now. Possibly he was trying to be comforting. "And there are numerous other cuts and abrasions. The rain has obviously washed away a lot of the evidence, but not all the blood loss has been internal."

Kakuzu didn't really know what to say to that.

After Hidan had taken in two units of blood, Kabuto and the paramedics eased a back board under him and used that to transfer him onto a stretcher, and finally Kakuzu consented to go up to the waiting ambulance so that he wasn't in their way as they manoeuvred him up the steps. He found the blue lights vaguely comforting, but it felt strange to be emerging into daylight. Down in the public toilet it had seemed like night. Now, people were beginning to be out and about and were rubber-necking at everything that was going on. The police were there and had set up a cordon - obviously this was being treated as a crime scene.

Seeing that, the full horror of what Hidan had been through began to be borne in on him. Six hours down there, broken and bleeding, not knowing if anyone would ever find him. Kakuzu felt rage boiling in him beyond anything he'd felt before. Someone had done this. Someone had done this deliberately, and left him there like garbage.