"Hello," spoke Dr. Jordan Salvinski. "I'm here because I'm addicted to heroin. For me it makes me forget about the day I had and like nothing matters. The lives I ruin in my work. I am a criminal psychologist. It's my job to determine if someone is mentally competent enough to stand trial and understand what they have done. I get pleads everyday asking if they could be deemed incompetent so that they can go to a facility rather than live in prison. When I tell them no, they look at me with these eyes. The eyes look like a tiger about to hunt its prey. They look driven and ready for the hunt. The eyes are what you remember the most. The heroin makes me calm down. After the initial rush my whole body slows. I become sleepy and slow of mind. Given that I am always on the go, it's the only time thing that makes me fully relax. I see people all the time at work who have gotten in trouble for the very thing I do. Every day I tell myself I'm better than them because I'm not in prison. I know that if something went wrong, I would end up right where they are: It terrifies me. I decided however, I needed help and that's the reason I came to this Drug addicts anonymous meeting. It's been a few days since the last time I shot up. The withdraw effects are driving me insane. I can't sleep, I can't eat, it feels like there is an internal clock waiting for the next time I can shoot. I'm trying though, I really am. Every day and every hour just seem to get worse and worse. Thank god for my dog Spartan. If it wasn't for his sparky and weird personality, I don't think I would have made it three days."
"Hi Jordan," the group sung out in that stereotypical fashion. This, thought Jordan, is the reason I refused to come for so long. She hated the idea of being a stereotype. Growing up she was always the stereotype especially when it came to swimming. Always tired, Hungry, and loving the smell of chlorine. It wasn't a lie. She knew she had a problem for a while but was too scared of being the stereotypes that came with drug addicts anonymous. She looked the part though. Her cheeks were hollowed out with a strong shadow. Although she was a healthy weight, she was mainly muscle, making her look smaller than she was.
Dr. Spencer Reid managed to hear most of what she was saying. He couldn't believe that someone so influential in the criminal psych world could have the same problem he had. He loved to read her book, Incarcerated: The Role of Mental Illness in the American Justice System. This book had hit number one on the New York Times Best Sellers list. Not just any book could do that. The book had real case studies and real science to back up her statements and theories.
Jordan also managed to get a quick look of Reid. She loved the idea of profiling. Understanding behavior was one of the things she loved. It was also one of the reasons she wanted to be clean. She wanted to join the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and be a part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU). She needed to put on weight, get clean, and tone up if she ever wanted to have a chance of joining the BAU as a profiler. She also couldn't help the fact that she thought Reid was cute. The way is brown hair fell almost down to his sholders and was just the right amount of curly. The way his hazel eyes looked at someone with a sense of innocence. He felt like a little brother you had to protect but always ended up just fine. The thing she loved most though, was his brain. There's something about a fellow genius that she loved and could relate to. Someone who could understand what it was like to be as smart as she was and that was something she will never ever get over.
When the meeting was through, she stayed around for a little bit talking peoples ear off. If there was an Olympic event for talking, she could win gold, multiple times. Part of this came from her natural social anxiety. She found that going on and on about something helped her to calm down. Her main point of conversation was her dog. Who happened to be a Ridgeback and Great Dane mix. He was huge standing three and a half feet to his sholders and having the energy of a puppy he was quite a hand full. There was nothing that she loved truly more than Spartan
"Thanks for coming to the meeting today. It's good to see new people," said Reid. He looked at her with concern, he could see how badly she needed the help.
"I just figured enough was enough. I want control of my life. That and this meeting fell right into the time slot where I normally shoot. so being somewhere supportive helped." She replied.
"It was kind of like that for me too. Only I had told some people I was in trouble beforehand that I had been struggling not necessarily with drugs but just in general."
"Sounds like you've got some people who really love you and that you can trust."
"I do, they actually are my coworkers, but they are my pretty much my family. What about you? There's got to be someone who you can reach out to help you."
"I'm and only child and all my living relatives are incarcerated." She couldn't help but feel exhausted about explaining this for the thousandth time. Her parents had died when she was in undergraduate studies at university. She had a hard time making friends and when it wasn't a professional setting had a hard time keeping eye contact. Most of her life she had thought she had some sort of autism spectrum disorder. When she got tested, they found that it was severe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
"Here," said Spence "No one should have to go through this alone. If you need someone, I'm here for you ok?" She nodded and smiled slightly. No one had ever thought to help her out, mainly because she didn't ask. Growing up help was always a sign of weakness. Anyone that got help for mental illness was instantly considered crazy and unable to lead a normal life. As a result, she kept her depression and ADHD hidden and put all her focus into her studies.
"Thanks. Wait, why is this phone number in roman numerals?" She knew what each was but couldn't figure out why it was like that.
"Anyone who can read it is worth the extra effort."