2: People on the Internet Will Make A Compilation Out Of Anything
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"I don't know if either of you know about these, but people on the internet make compilations of anything, and we have one here of footage from the times the God of Calamity Kidnapped you."
Hiyori chuckled and nodded. Beside her Yato laughed uncomfortably. It had only been a few months since his battle with Rabo and he was still squirming in the limelight that came with being a hero. He got nervous whenever his past was brought up like he thought the citizens of Metro City would suddenly remember that he was a villain and dust off their torches and pitch forks.
"I knew about them, but I've never seen one," Hiyori said.
The two of them were sitting for an interview with Austin, the host of a popular talk show. They were still doing the trail of public relations events that Kazuma had planned and set up for them. Yato had caused a lot of harm, and it would take a lot more than one heroic rescue to turn public opinion in his favor. At least there was no shortage of talk show hosts and journalists eager to interview the villain turned hero.
"I've never seen any either," Yato said.
"I'm so glad to hear the two of you say that because we thought it would be funny for you two to watch one for the first time here with us!"
"Oh dear," Hiyori said, noting the crease forming between Yato's eyebrows while he tried valliantly to smile.
"The one we picked is the top result on Youtube. It's called 'Iki Hiyori Not Giving A Shit About Megamind for Ten Minutes Straight.'"
Yato growled at the nickname while the audience laughed. Hiyori pressed her lips together in an attempt to not smile.
"I feel like I'm not going to come off well in this," Yato said, relaxing a bit.
"That's what you get for insisting on televising all of your evil plots. If only you'd been less of a drama queen people on the internet would have less ammunition to use against you."
"I can't help it! I have the heart of a performer!"
Hiyori gave him an exasperated look while the audience chuckled. Yato seemed emboldened by the sound.
"Why don't we play the clip then," Austin said, turning to the big screen.
Hiyori sat in her usual uncomfortable steel chair, chewing gum and looking bored.
"If you don't surrender now Hiyori will be eaten alive by aligators!"
The platform underneath Hiyori opened, evealing six aligators circling beneath her. Hiyori didn't even look down, instead blowing a large bubble with her gum. It popped into the remarkably screamless silence.
The audience chuckled, and even Yato grinned.
Hiyori rolled her eyes as Yato pressed a knife to her throat, not even shying away from the edge. Yato backed slowly away from Metro Woman, eyes never leaving her. His heel collided with a piece of rubble and he went careening backwards, Hiyori tearing free of his grip. Rather than running away she took the opportunity to poke him in the ribs hard with the tip of her shoe. He swatted her away, grumbling.
Yato shook his head, laughing lightly.
"You're such an idiot! What the hell kind of plan was this? I can't believe you're making me late for my date for this! Polluting the River? You live here too, dumbass! You'll get sick with the rest of us!"
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."
Hiyori laughed out loud. She had forgotten about that.
Hiyori was hanging upside down, squirming and looking annoyed. One of her movements jarred her necklace and it swung down dangerously. She cried out, interrupting whatever dramatic speech Yato had been giving.
"Ah! Megamind! My necklace is falling you have to get it! It was my grandmothers!"
"You'll lose more than your necklace if Metro Woman doesn't surrender now!"
"Would you just shut up and get it? We both know you're going to lose anyway, and if one of your aligators eats it I'll kick your ass myself!"
There was some cheering from the audience that made heat fill Hiyori's face, though Yato was laughing heartily now. The next several minutes were similar clips of Hiyori being wholly unimpressed by Yato. The video ended with a clip of Hiyori in her same steel chair with her hands bound behind her back. She used her unbound feet to kick Yato hard in between the legs when he got too close. The last shot was of Yato on the ground and Hiyori smirking down at him like her steel chair was a throne.
Yato and Hiyori both winced while Austin and the audience enjoyed a long laugh at Yato's expense.
"Hiyori was never a damsel in distress," Yato said fondly.
"Why do you think that was?"
"He was never scary!"
"I was plenty scary, Hiyori!"
"I thought he were scary, and I think the rest of the city did too, at least sometimes," Austin said. There were general sounds of agreement from the crowd.
"Yeah, but that'sbecause you guysnever actually met him. Believe me, once you get to know him he's not scary at all," Hiyori said.
"I am so! You said yourself that I have scary face!" Hiyori rolled her eyes.
"You have the capacity to be scary, but you're not scary. There's a difference."
"What does that even mean?"
"Metro Woman."
"Okay, good point."
Austin watched their interaction with a puzzled expression before looking into the camera like he was Jim from The Office.
"So, Mister God of Fortune-"
"Please don't call him that or he won't shut up about it for a week. His name is Yato."
"Yes, I was aboutto ask about this. You've only been a hero for a few months, but already you're doing things differently than your former rival. We know your name, for example."
"Yeah, everyone thought that openess would help build trust. That and Yukine steadfastly refused to sit through any parent teacher conference where the teacher was addressing me as the God of Fortune."
"Speaking of Yukine, finding out that you had a son surprised many people. I'm sure most people never pictured you as a family man."
"I can tell you if I ever did find him scary I stopped once he started bringing his kid along on evil missions," Hiyori said, getting another laugh from the audience.
"I couldn't find a babysitter!"
"Couldn't you have had a brain bot watch him?" Austin asked.
"They're not sentitent! And they're all pointy and rusty! What if he cut himself? You can't leave a brain bot to watch a baby! And what if I got captured and he's home alone waiting for someone who isn't coming back?"
"Did you have some sort of plan in place for if you were arrested?"
"Of course I did, but luckily we never needed it. Not that he would have gone through with it, he's so stubborn."
"Gee, I wonder where he gets it," Hiyori drawled. "We had to chain him to his hospital bed while Yukine was doing his interviews," she told Austin.
"So you didn't want him to come forward as your son?" Austin asked, sitting forward. Yato shook his head and sighed with the pent up frustration of a single dad.
"Do you have kids, Austin?"
"No, I don't."
"Well if you ever have them you'll understand. Yukine is the only thing that matters to me. All of this," he gestured around broadly, "is for nothing if someone decides to take their grudge against me out on him. It doesn't matter what happens to me, I probably deserve it, but he doesn't, and just being my son puts him at risk."
Yato ran a hand through his hair, not noticing the atmoshpere in the room, or the way Austin was looking at him. Hiyori didn't miss it, though, and she knew in that moment Yato had won the hearts of the audience. Of course not everyone would forgive him, now or ever, but in the eyes of the viewers he'd just gone from villain to father.