For those people who I had commented about a cliffhanger to, I decided not to go with it so this has the original chapter ending (and one of the few things I've had written since I started this story).

To Kill A Mockingjay and I are organizing what will hopefully become the annual Alex Rider Fanfiction Awards. Check it out here: forum. fanfiction .net/forum/The_Royal_General_Bank/93073/ . Nominations are open and will be until November 1.

Happy Halloween. I hope the tricks are enjoyable for all and the treats plentiful.

15

Three pairs of eyes watched the fourth member of their unit pace around the private waiting room. They exchanged glances before silently nominating Ben to speak.

Shooting James and David betrayed looks, the spy pushed to his feet and warily approached his younger friend.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but there wasn't anything you could do. It wasn't your fault." He winced when the other paused and slowly turned toward him. He plowed on while he could. "And even if it could be your fault, then it's just as much Dave's. He was right there too."

Eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, a finger was jabbed into Ben's chest. "Don't tell me that! It was my fault! That sick fuck was aiming at me! It's my fault Neal was shot!" Alex shouted, tears starting to trail down her cheeks. "If it wasn't for me, he still would've been wearing his vest! Don't try to feed me that bullshit!"

Ben gently caught her wrists, mindful of the bandages wrapped there, and pulled her to his chest. "Alex, you know how he is. You know he won't give up. You can't either."

She hit his chest weakly, trying to pull away. The anger that had been fueling her since she had first woken after the bomb had fizzled out on the way over and now she was trying to fan it back into life to avoid crying. It wasn't working.

Ben took more of her weight, tightening his arms around her as she started crying. He led her over to the small couch James quickly vacated, sitting them both down. James settled on Alex's other side, carefully putting a hand on one of her shoulders, able to feel how she was shaking from the force of her mostly suppressed sobs.

David watched all of this from a nearby chair, his frown growing more pronounced at the look his friends exchanged over the teen's head. He pushed to his feet, muttering something about coffee, and stalked to the other side of the room, holding his right arm carefully against his chest.

What the hell was going on and why weren't they telling him? Did it have anything to do with why the girl– No, Alex. At this point, she wasn't likely to be going anywhere and he needed to remember that. Did it have anything to do with why Alex had been kidnapped? With why Neal was laying under some surgeon's knife?

Of course, he wouldn't even be there if David hadn't acted, throwing himself in front of the couple even as Neal stepped in front of Alex. How the hell had no one found the pistol that bastard had hidden on him, he had no idea. He just knew that if the bullet hadn't lost momentum by going through him first, Neal would be dead right now.

It was a cold comfort, but that man wouldn't be hurting anyone else ever again. Alex had seen to that. And hopefully she'd be able to rest a little easier, knowing he wasn't out there anymore. Though the speed with which she had taken David's own handgun and planted a bullet between the eyes of her near rapist had been startling for everyone who had seen it. And considering the look on Ben's face, it wasn't something the spy had taught the girl.

The Scottish man turned back toward the others, leaning back against the counter and observing them, coffee in hand. He knew that Ben somehow knew Alex from something that had happened, but neither had gone into any detail. James was the one who was really confusing him. If he didn't know any better, he would say that his team leader had placed himself as the girl's father. The question was, if that was the case, why? What could possibly make him feel he had that kind of connection or obligation to her? Where were her parents for that matter?

All three men turned toward the door as it opened, letting Jack and Tom spill in. With differing cries of "Alex!" they hurried to the blonde's side, Jack half-jostling Ben and James aside.

While Jack was stroking Alex's hair and murmuring to her, trying to calm her, Tom looked over the fractured unit. He straightened, frowning, as worry filled his eyes.

"Where's Neal?" he asked, cutting off Jack. The redhead looked up, taking stock of the men herself before her face fell and she turned back to Alex.

Tom asked again, looking between James and Ben. James sighed and stood, moving over to the teen to fill him in.

David cocked his head. And now whoever this boy was. Ah, yes, Tom. Alex's friend with the exceptionally poor timing. A wry smile twisted his lips. Neal had certainly found that amusing, once they had gotten over the shock anyway, and hadn't let the boy live it down. Something about near everyone else hitting the boy, though he doubted that his friend had meant with a car.

A frown pulled at David's lips. They were still in their fatigues. Why weren't any of the civilians asking about that? And why did it seem like Jack had assumed the worst? Well, he'd give her that they were in a hospital, but most civilians didn't automatically assume that someone was dead. They'd be asking how the patient was, what had happened, things like that.

"Just what is going on here?" David asked, voice cold and cutting over everyone else. He might be the most calm and compassionate of the unit, his temperament most suited to speaking with hostages and other civilians, for tending to patients, but that didn't mean that he didn't have a temper at all. It just meant that he was known for burning slow and cold. And knowing exactly where to strike to show his displeasure without leaving marks.

"What haven't you told me? Whatever it is, does Neal know?" he continued, setting the cup in his hand down harder than necessary, coffee slopping over the edges. Gray eyes glanced at Alex before focusing on Ben. "There's more to this, to us rescuing her, than you just calling in favors, isn't there?"

"Dave, I'm sorry but I can't just–"

"It's because of me," Alex said, speaking over Ben. She met David's eyes and stood, pulling away from Jack. "While Neal and I were in the park, I was recognized. The bomb was placed because they wanted to get me. They thought I was working or something." She swallowed, letting her eyes fall. "You know what happened earlier." Here she glanced at Tom. "At least one of them was a part of that group that tried to kidnap you. You should know that. I'll do what I can to make sure you're safe."

David blinked. "What the hell can you do? What makes you so damn special?" He realized he was being harsh, but he really didn't care. From the sounds of things, all of this could have been avoided.

Alex's brown eyes snapped up to glare into his, her anger rekindling. "I can do more than any of the rest of you. I realize it's been a couple of years and I don't look the same, but you honestly don't recognize me, Snake? I know Neal wouldn't want to see it, but I'm surprised you haven't been suspicious. James was. Why don't you try looking closer instead of bitching at me? You might just figure it out then," she snarled, finding someone to lash out at.

David stiffened, his back straightening, and he opened his mouth to snap back.

"Dave," James spoke up, halting whatever his teammate was about to say. "Do what she said and actually look at her. Ben might be the best of us at seeing through disguises, but you're second. She's not going anywhere whether she and Neal stay together or not, so you're just going to have to get used to her."

Everyone, even Jack, looked at James with similar startled expressions. That wasn't something any of them ever expected to hear him say.

David bit back a growl then turned to Alex, good hand balled into a loose fist. His eyes flickered over her face as he stifled his anger somewhat. He ignored her gender, that could be faked with the proper clothing, and her hair since a pair of scissors and some dye made it rather pointless. Instead, he focused on her features: her eyes, the shape and color of them, a brown that wasn't uncommon; the line of her jaw; her cheekbones; the angle of her nose. All of it was adding up to a picture that he wasn't happy with.

"Cub?" he asked, hoping he was wrong. Sure, she had looked mildly familiar when they had met - met again? - at Neal's apartment, but he had written it off. London was a major city after all. The same with when he had first encountered Tom, but that was because he already knew the girl.

A mocking smile twisted Alex's lips. "Congratulations," she sneered, clapping slowly.

David barely heard Ben's "Alex!" through his re-surge of anger. "So, what? You've been making Neal fret over how to tell you he's a part of the SAS for no reason? Is this all just some sort of game to you? What else have you lied about?"

The expression dropped from Alex's face and her eyes went cold. "Don't you dare insinuate that I don't care for Neal."

It was a swift transformation, but it still brought everyone up short. No longer was the cheerful and serious and overall odd teenage girl they were used to standing in front of them but rather the cool, aloof, and, more importantly, dangerous spy that had done so much damage earlier. This was the woman who could kill, who had in Neal's name.

David hesitated then plowed on anyway, too angry to give a damn. "You've got an interesting way of showing it! After all, you're the one who got him blown up and shot!"

Alex snarled and took a step forward.

It was this that stirred the others into action. Ben placed himself in front of Alex, blocking her view of the older blond as Tom and Jack moved to her sides and started to try to calm her. James, on the other hand, got in David's face.

"Out in the hall."

"What? You're just– You knew about this?" And now that incredulity was giving it a good go to smother the anger.

"Now."

"But–"

"Dammit, Snake. Don't make me order you."

David blinked, mouth hanging open, before he drew himself up and stormed out. He heard James' heavy footfalls behind him as the door slammed shut then he spun toward his team leader and friend and didn't bother to stay silent, though he did try to keep the volume down. "She could have stopped this!"

"No, she couldn't have. No one could have predicted this happening. Even if you and Neal knew, this still could have happened. It was poor timing, a bad coincidence, and if anyone should understand that, we should. Fuck, any soldier should. Don't take it out on her when there was nothing any of us could have done," James snapped, glaring at the taller man.

David bit back a curse and kicked the wall then winced, hovering his hand over his newest bullet wound.

"Dave?"

He glanced at James, debating saying nothing, but at the look on the darker man's face, he spoke. "I think I pulled at my stitches."

James huffed out a breath. "Let's find a doctor to get it looked at again."

"...I didn't mean to blame her. I know it isn't her fault," David offered, walking half a step behind and to the side of James.

James glanced up at him. "I know. You'll have to apologize to her though." Seeing the medic's nod, he continued speaking. "She was nervous."

"Hm?"

"Alex. She was nervous about his reaction, that's why she didn't tell Neal. She said she wanted to tell him, but didn't know how."

David nodded, mind drifting somewhat as he tried to avoid the guilt of yelling at her and the side effects of his pain medication were finally kicking in. It wasn't her fault and, as a teenager, she shouldn't have to be expected of to deal with the same things they had to, spy or not. It wasn't fair to her. "I wonder how her scar is."

James glanced over again. "What scar?"

"Bullet scar."

James stopped and spun to face David, eyes a little wide. "What bullet scar?"

David blinked, focusing again. "Uh... I think Ben said Cub had been shot in the chest. I don't really remember."

"What?"

Watching James stalk back toward the waiting room, David had the feeling that he had just said something he really shouldn't have. He sighed and trailed after the newly irate man.

As the pair of soldiers were making their way back to the waiting room, Alex had shaken off the others and was making her way to Neal's recovery room. She knew she wasn't supposed to be in there just yet, but she really didn't care. She just needed to see with her own eyes that he was alive. Even if she couldn't talk with him, couldn't apologize for this happening, she could still get some reassurance that he was still breathing, that he would recover.

Outside his room, she literally bumped into his doctor. It took a few seconds but she eventually recognized him as the same surgeon that had operated on her after that sniper had gotten her outside of the bank.

"Miss Rider," he said, a little surprised. Obviously, he had realized who she was as well. "How are you? How was your recovery?"

"I'm fine, doctor," she answered before her lips twisted a little. "My recovery wasn't as restful as anyone would have liked. How have you been?"

He smiled slightly. "Fine, but that isn't what you really wish to know."

Alex huffed. "Were you the one who worked on Neal Smith? Sorry," she said, remembering that they weren't supposed to use names in this hospital, not for people in her or Neal's line of work. And didn't that just grate, considering herself to still be working as a spy?

The doctor tilted his head minutely. "Why do you ask?"

Alex looked past him to see where Neal was laying through the glass window. "He's my boyfriend. Is he going to be okay?"

He looked at her for a few seconds before relaxing somewhat. "Yes, I was. And he'll be fine. He'll need a bit of physical therapy, but I don't see why he can't make as good of a recovery as you have. He was lucky, the bullet that struck him was further from his heart than the one you were hit by was."

Alex smiled weakly. "Thanks... Can I...?"

The doctor eyed her again then nodded. "For a few minutes. He may wake while you're in there. If he does, please get a nurse so he can be checked on?"

Alex nodded, her smile strengthening a bit, and slipped into the room. Seeing the tubes and wires running over Neal and attached to various bits of his body, Alex bit her lip, pushing back the tears that threatened.

Alex had never seen any of the unit, or even her uncle, in this kind of condition and it was very disconcerting to her. For some reason, she had always imagined as all of them as being much more indestructible than they actually were - something she thought she had broken herself of after it was proven to her by her uncle's death, and then again when Yassen had been killed. She hated how this made her feel and it definitely wasn't something she ever wanted to see again, that was for certain. If this was how Jack felt whenever Alex herself landed herself in the hospital, then Alex was suddenly much more sympathetic to her.

She moved to the bedside, watching Neal's pale face. She was surprised at the dark circles under his eyes. How upset had he been while she was missing?

"Oh, Neal," she breathed, gently taking one of his hands in both of hers and closing her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner, then maybe this could have been avoided. Maybe we both would have been more wary. Or, if you had decided you wanted nothing to do with me, then you wouldn't have even been there for them to hurt you."

"Alex?"

Her eyes snapped open and met the exhausted, pained hazel eyes of her boyfriend. "Neal? Oh thank God." She smiled at him, feeling so many emotions that she didn't even bother to try and sort them out.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice so soft she had to lean closer to hear him properly.

A wet laugh escaped her. "I'm not the one laying in a hospital bed."

"Oh? You sure?" he teased weakly, a soft smile crossing his lips before he frowned. "You're crying."

She shook her head. "I'm just happy that you're awake."

He laughed then winced as it pulled at his wound. "You're a horrible liar."

Alex's expression fell at that. "I really wish that were true." She took a deep breath and, before he could ask what she meant, she continued. "I'm sorry, but I have kind of been lying to you. I already knew about you being SAS. And James and David being your team and Ben being with MI6." She gently touched his cheek at the tiredly confused look he gave her. "Remember Cub? I'm Cub."

Neal coughed a couple times, grimacing at the pain. He stopped her from getting a nurse, gripping her hand tighter. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I know I should have told you sooner, but I was scared. I... I don't have a good reason for not telling you other than I was so happy at being seen as just a normal girl and I didn't want to lose the way you treated me. I didn't want to lose you." She looked away. "And I almost did anyway."

" 'S not your fault," Neal protested, fighting the fatigue pulling at him.

Alex smiled sadly. "This is. I was recognized and they set the bomb. You and David took a bullet meant for me. That's all of you now. I'm a danger to everyone. And I'm not... I can't take it. Not if it means that I'll get anyone else hurt. I'm sorry, but I won't risk it." She gently pulled her hand from his.

Neal frowned, reaching out for her. "Alex, what are you saying?"

"I love you too much to let you get hurt because of me again. I'm sorry." She kissed his cheek, lingering, before walking out of his room, yet more tears in her eyes that she refused to let fall where anyone could see. Not again.

"Alex, wait… Alex! Come back! …Alex!"