I was asked in an anonymous review if I had a schedule for updates. As my regular readers should know, for the most part, it's whenever I finish the chapter, but recently I have been aiming for each weekend. That said, I try not to make any promises for updates (and the next chapter may end up taking a little longer since I'm not quite sure how to go about it).

This chapter I have had written since right around when I started the story. I'm happy to say that it required little editing to go along with what has already been posted. It's a bit sappy though and more of Alex's insecurity is shown. Enjoy. =)

16

It was the third day of his self-imposed stake out after getting out of the hospital and Neal was starting to worry that the opportunity to speak with Alex wouldn't arise. She had refused to see him or speak with him on the phone and usually when she left, it was with someone else to run interference or drive her. Luck was on his side this time and he spotted her leaving one afternoon. He didn't know why she was alone today, but he wasn't about to waste the opportunity.

When she passed by where he was hidden, he grabbed her arm and deflected her reflexive attack as he pulled her into the alley.

"Neal," she breathed.

"I don't want you to just walk away. I won't let you. I want this to work out."

Her expression turned pained. "Neal... You nearly died because of me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it happened again. Or if you did die."

"I'm not going to."

"You can't know that!"

Neal sighed softly. "This is not the place to have this discussion. C'mon." He shifted his grip so he was holding her hand and led her down the street, a little happier when she didn't fight him.

Alex was quiet, just staring up at his profile, finally allowing some hope that he wouldn't change his mind and run the other way to blossom. It was about then that she realized they were at his apartment building.

She followed him up and watched him unlock the door before he motioned her into the flat.

"Want a drink?" Neal asked as they toed off their shoes and hung up their jackets.

Alex shook her head. "I should leave," she said softly, looking down.

Neal frowned and took her hands again. "Alex, do you really want to give up on us?"

"No!" She jerked her head up to meet his eyes.

"Then why are you acting like you do?" he asked, tugging her into the main room.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt because of me! Not again!"

He gently shook her shoulders. "Alex, I don't care if I do. I don't care about the risks. I want to be with you. And the potential risk is no different than when I'm working."

"But that's when you're working."

"So? I'm a soldier. You know that and you don't care. You understand that I may be called for a mission at any time and you can understand some of what I go through, some of what I see. Do you know how hard that is to find? A little additional paranoia is more than worth it."

She stared up at him, tears gathering in her eyes. "How can you…?"

He waited for her to finish and, when she didn't, spoke himself. "What?"

"How can you still care? How can you just forgive me for lying to you? For breaking up with you like that?"

"There wasn't much to forgive. I lied the same way. And, yeah doing it while I was laid up hurt, but I can understand why you did it."

"But I already knew."

"So? I didn't know that. I could've still told you." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, it doesn't matter now anyway. We both know now and we can't change the past." He stepped closer. "The future we can. And I still care because I never stopped. Because I love you."

Alex's eyes widened and she took a step back in surprise. L– love? That isn't– No one should love me. It isn't safe for him. It isn't safe for anyone.

"Don't say that!" Neal snapped, grabbing her shoulders with a grip just light enough to hold her before giving her a shake.

Apparently she had said that out loud.

"There are plenty of things to love about you. And if someone can't see it, then they're blind."

"Don't," she whispered, looking down.

"No. Alex, you have to stop being so critical of yourself." He gave her another gentle shake, making her look at him. "You don't have superpowers and you can't save everyone. No one's perfect. But you… You're beautiful, you're smart, you're brave, you're funny. You're everything I'd ever want, so please, don't do this. Don't walk away."

"Neal…" She didn't know what to say, tears gathering in her eyes.

He put a finger over her lips, ignoring how his own eyes were misting over. "I was dying and the only thing on my mind was that I didn't tell you that I love you or just how much it is that I do love you. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I don't want to let us just end."

"I– I should–" she started, fighting back the tears.

"Don't go, don't run." He gently pulled her close, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and settling his free hand on the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair.

That was all it took to break through the barriers she had put up and all her pent up emotions since she had left the hospital came out. She started crying.

To his credit, Neal didn't show that this unsettled him in any way, nor did he allow his own tears to fall. He just pulled her closer and guided her to the couch, talking soothingly to her as he sat them down.

After a little, Alex began to calm though she made no move to pull away from where she was leaning against his chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, embarrassed but at the same time feeling lighter for it.

Neal blinked. "For what?"

"Breaking down like that," she answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.

"You don't need to apologize. You're human." He shrugged himself, calmer now. "...And I'm kind of happy you did."

It was her turn to blink, tilting her head slightly to see the underside of his chin. "What?"

"Well, it means you trust me enough to let me see you in a moment of vulnerability. I'm glad to know that you trust me." He wasn't about to tell her that James and Ben both were concerned about her and how she was shutting herself off from everyone and that this would help them too.

Alex 'mm'ed softly in acknowledgement, curling closer. "I'm sorry," she apologized again.

"For what?" he repeated, more confused than the last time. Didn't they just cover that she had nothing to be sorry for?

"Being so stupid."

He sighed, tightening his hug. "Alex… All things considered, you aren't at fault. You were worried. And considering what you put up with, I think you're allowed."

"…Thank you. For being so understanding. I don't know what I did to deserve someone as nice as you, but I'm glad I did." It was certainly a wonderful change of pace from that year after she had first met him and the rest of the unit.

Neal didn't say anything, feeling his cheeks heat.

Alex glanced at him and giggled at the way his blush tinted his neck. He never did things by halves so why would this be any different?

"You okay?" he asked.

Her eyes unfocused in thought. "Mostly…" she started slowly. "I'm done freaking out, if that's what you're worried about." She smiled softly, setting her head against his shoulder again, just happy to be here with him, feeling his arms around her and listening to his heart beating under her cheek.

"I wasn't worried you'd do it again. I'm just worried about you." He gently kissed her forehead. He hesitated then plowed on, it needed to be asked. "So, what about us?"

"...I don't want to give up. I'm not going to promise not to have more stupid moments, but you're right. We're good for each other."

Neal grinned down at the top of her head. "I'll deal with your stupid moments if you put up with mine."

"Deal."

He tightened his arms around her and altered his grip, relishing holding her when just that morning he feared he wouldn't be able to ever again, unaware of how much his thoughts echoed hers.

A few minutes later, he shifted. "Hey, do you want something to eat?"

Not receiving an answer, he looked down at Alex and saw she had fallen asleep. Rather than wake her, he gently gathered her into his arms and carried her down the hall to his room, ignoring how his scar twinged over his chest and down his arm. He carefully settled her in the bed before going to the kitchen and calling her house.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jack, it's Neal."

"Hi Neal. Alex isn't here right now."

"I know. Actually, I was calling to let you know she probably won't be back tonight. She got upset earlier and right now she's sleeping and I don't want to wake her so…"

"…Okay. She needs the sleep. Just do me a favor?"

"Yeah."

"Keep an eye on her?"

"Of course."

"Great. Call if you need anything."

"Sure."

"Good. Ciao."

"Um… Bye?"

There was a click as Jack hung up.

Neal looked as his phone in bemusement. "I will never get used to her doing that." He sighed then went to get himself situated on the couch.

It was a bit after midnight when something pulled Neal into full wakefulness. He sat up and scanned the dark room, glimpsing a silhouette by the hall. He tensed to lunge when the person spoke.

"Neal?" Alex's voice came softly.

He relaxed again. "Yeah?"

"Sorry for waking you."

Hearing an odd note in her voice, he pushed to his feet and went over to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Alex."

"…I dreamt that–" She cut herself off and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head on his bare chest to reassure herself of his presence again. "Don't leave me."

Neal pulled her into a tight hug at the mildly lost tone in her voice. "I won't. Not if I can help it."

She pulled away enough to look up at him. "Promise?"

"As much as I'm able."

Alex nodded slightly then reached up to kiss him.

His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise but he responded regardless, drawing her closer.

She pulled back after several seconds. "Show me."

This time, his eyebrows flew up in effort to merge with his hairline and his eyes widened. "What?" he squeaked.

"I want you to show me. That you love me, that you won't leave me… How to love like that."

Neal gently brushed her hair out of her eyes. I know how strong she is, I see it every day I'm with her, but I never realized how fragile she could be, he thought. "Alex… Are you sure? I mean, after what that bastard almost did..."

"Yes."

He pulled her close again. "Just tell me to stop and I will. You won't have to worry because I'm nothing like him."

She nodded, lips pulling into a small smile as she tugged his head down to kiss him again.

In response, he swept her into his arms and carried her to his room for the second time that night.

The ringing of a phone was what woke Neal in the morning. He stirred and pulled the warm body next to him closer. Opening his eyes, he smiled when he saw that Alex was still asleep. He pressed a soft kiss to her hair before fumbling along the floor for the cell phone and flipping it open without looking.

"Hello?"

"...Neal? What the hell are you doing answering Alex's phone?" Ben's voice came across the line.

Neal's eyes widened. "Shit."

End Chapter

Before anyone decides to yell at me, please keep in mind that they've been dating for around a year and Alex is a few months past her seventeenth birthday. They will not suddenly start having sex every time they see one another and Alex will not be moving into Neal's apartment because of this. This was the result of both of them being emotionally upset and vulnerable.