Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters.

Author's Note: HUGE shout out & thank you to my beta dolphin62598 for getting these chapters back to me so quickly! And another big thanks to my pre-reader teacher1209 for reading over these and giving me her thoughts! Song inspiration for this chapter is Half of my Heart by John Mayer and Runnin' Out of Air by Love and Theft. Some of you have been asking so here we have it…now we hear from Edward for the first time.

Chapter 2

Half of My Heart

EPOV

My heart was shattered when Bella kicked me out of her apartment. I understood why she did what she did, but it still hurt. I loved her deeply but love was not always enough…or so I was learning quickly.

The logical part of me could completely understand why she was fed up with our situation. I had been making her promises for a while and still had yet to follow through with any of them.

The illogical part of me wanted her to stop the crazy talk and keep things just as they were. I was smart enough to realize that our current situation was never a permanent thing…it didn't work for everyone involved. Either way, someone was getting hurt, possibly more than one person.

The truth was that I was completely confused with the predicament I currently found myself in.

Bella was the last thing I expected to happen to me…she came into my life and was a breath of fresh air. I fell for her hard and fast. Try as we might to stay away from each other, it was inevitable that we would find our way together.

Unfortunately, I was still married.

For the last six months, I warred with myself constantly because I was very much in love with Bella, yet I still truly thought I loved my wife. I never believed that crap people would spew about being able to love two people at the same time, until it happened to me.

While the love I felt for Bella was an all-consuming, soul mate kind of love, I loved Tanya in a different way. It felt more like a friendship or love of convenience at the time.

My wife scared me over the last several months because she started talking about babies. She had never expressed a desire to become a mother before we started having major problems. Personally, I had no desire to be a father. Hell, I was not even sure that I liked kids. They were loud, messy and obnoxious. Add to that the fact that I could never see Tanya as the nurturing, mothering type and I thought we were settled on the child issue.

I started pulling away from my wife before I met Bella and that was when she brought up having a baby. That terrified me because it was the last thing that I wanted.

When I went to the restaurant with Tanya, I fully intended to ask her for a divorce. We had been married for three years. I met her in college and she was everything I thought I wanted in a doctor's wife. About a year ago, things started feeling different between us. There was a rift there that I did not know how to fix.

As soon as I sat down at the table in the restaurant with Tanya, she blurted out that she had cheated on me. They were the last words I expected to hear from her but they eased my guilt and I replied to her that I had cheated too.

Neither of us mentioned names of the people we had cheated with and I wanted to keep it that way. Tanya could be vindictive when she wanted to and even though she had an affair as well, I did not want my Bella's name dragged through the mud.

Normally, I was a jealous man by nature but the thought of Tanya with another man did not bother me as much as it should have. That should've been my first clue that our marriage was already over…but I couldn't stand to fail.

So when she suggested that we both had cheated and had a clean slate, now we could move forward and fix our marriage, I went with it.

In that moment, I made the decision to end things with Bella for good. She deserved someone who could love her with his whole heart and not just half of it as I had been doing.

The only details she gave me about her affair were that it was two nights of sex with a guy she met in a bar when she was out with her friends. There were no feelings involved between them. I told her that it was pretty much the same for me. It was easier to downplay the details of my affair with Bella…because then it wouldn't hurt as much to let her go.

I didn't want Tanya to know that I had been seeing this woman for six months and I was madly in love with her. My wife did not need to know that if I had met Bella first, she would have never stood a chance with me.

Tanya reached her hand across the table and caressed mine. I pulled both her hands into mine and we vowed to one another that we had been together too long not to give it one more shot and we did still love each other.

When Tanya had to take a work call during our dinner, I used that opportunity to tell her I needed to check my phone as well. Telling her I was responding to a text from my dad, I actually sent a text to Bella and explained that I was held up at the hospital and would not be able to make it to her place tonight. We were supposed to meet up and celebrate my upcoming divorce.

That was not going to happen now.

Tanya suggested we get a hotel room for the night and start our new beginning by consummating our relationship again since it had been about seven and a half months since we had really had actual intercourse.

The trip to the hotel ended up being a disaster. My heart was not into it with Tanya. I kept thinking of Bella. I faked not feeling well and we ended up just sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.

Imagine my shock when I showed up at Bella's place and she called me out on what she saw at the restaurant last night. She had every right to be angry…to hate me.

While Tanya and I didn't sleep together that night, it was easier to let Bella believe that we had. It would be easier for her to let me go. She deserved to be happy away from me and have everything she truly deserved in life.

I would not blame her if she never wanted to speak to me again. Unfortunately, we worked together so she had no choice about speaking to me.

Yes, work would be difficult.

I was going to have to see her beautiful face every day, hear her melodic voice every second and watch her move on with her life…without me in it as something other than Dr. Cullen.

I could do it though…for my wife. She deserved my full attention now. It was time to make things right in my marriage again. We used to be happy…we could make it happen again.

Bella catching me and throwing me out was for the best. She did me a favor and made things easier for me. This would be best for both of us. I would fix my marriage and she could go on and find a nice man who would take care of her and love her completely.

I felt a tug on my heart and a sharp pain in my chest when I thought of another man in Bella's life.

I shook my head and cleared it from any thoughts or feelings concerning Bella. I was home now and it was time to begin putting my life back together.

When I entered my house, I heard Tanya puttering around in the kitchen. I followed the sounds and found her fighting with the dishwasher. I had to laugh because she was never very domesticated. It always took her twice as long as a normal person to do household chores.

I stood in the doorway and tried to remember everything that I ever loved about her. She felt my presence and stopped what she was doing. When she turned and smiled at me, I saw it.

"Hey, babe. Where did you run off to?"

"I just had to go mail some things at the post office. Would you like me to help you with that?" I chuckled.

"I thought you would never ask!" She huffed.

We laughed and put away the dishes before reloading. While talking, we decided we were going to take a much-needed vacation. I called the hospital and she called her answering service. Just like that, we were on our way to the airport and we were going to take the first destination that looked good when we got there.

Silence filled the car through most of the drive. I tried to take her hand while I was driving but she declined.

"It's best to keep both hands on the wheel, babe. You know this. I want to make it to the airport."

"Yeah, you're right, Tan. I'm sorry."

"Oh and we can only be gone four days. I called the answering service and they are going to let the other doctors know. My patients will be covered but they said I needed to be back by the middle of the week since Dr. Stanton is taking her vacation."

I nodded.

Tanya was a plastic surgeon and had a lucrative practice with three other doctors.

"I've got a week off from the hospital. It's okay though; I'll just stay home and relax until I have to go back," I told her.

"All right, if that's what you want to do. If you want to stay home and be a couch potato, that is your prerogative…but wouldn't your time be better spent just going back to work when we get back."

I took a deep breath because I didn't want to fight with her already.

"Tan, didn't we agree we were going to work on our marriage? You can't keep up this condescending behavior with me. I am a grown man and capable of making my own decisions. I am thirty years old for fuck's sake! You are only two years older than me and you are not my mother…so please…we promised we would work on this."

She smiled and reached over the console and held her hand open, waiting for mine. I placed it into hers and she said, "You're right. I'm sorry, Edward. Let's go enjoy ourselves, shall we?"

With that, she turned on the radio and we were on our way.

One Week Later

Today was my first day back at work after the getaway with Tanya. I was foolish to think that four days away with some different scenery would make things better between us. First, we fought over the destination for an hour at the airport. Finally, we just settled on flying to Vegas, which was her choice not mine.

She picked the hotel.

She picked the kind of room we stayed in.

She picked where we ate.

She dictated when and where we had sex.

The whole trip was more exhausting than it was worth and when we returned, I felt as if nothing had been fixed at all.

Things were the same.

To add insult to injury, today would be the first day being face-to-face with Bella since our break-up.

It was going to kill me to see her, especially while doubts were so strong in my head about whether I did the right thing or not. A part of me felt as if I chose wrong. I should have picked her over my wife.

Then my mind would go back to chastising myself for feeling that way and knowing that I needed to make my marriage work. I didn't want to be a quitter, Edward Cullen was not a quitter.

When we returned, Tanya went back to work and I stayed around the house with nothing but my thoughts to occupy my time. I cleaned house, had dinner ready for my wife when she came home every night, and romanced her in bed.

Our relationship was still far from perfect, but I felt that the last few days at home went better than our four-day vacation.

It was a start.

During the drive to the hospital this morning, I braced myself for seeing Bella for the first time in a week.

What would she look like? Would she talk to me? Would there be a great deal of awkwardness between us? I mentally slapped myself for asking that question. Of course, things would be awkward.

When I saw her standing at the nurse's station in the emergency room, my breath hitched. She was so incredibly beautiful. How in the hell was I going to do this?

I took a deep breath and told myself to suck it up. Bella deserved to be happy and my indecisiveness and halfhearted love would never keep her happy.

With a heavy heart, I walked towards her. She had not seen me yet. She was standing there talking to Jessica Stanley, another nurse.

Jessica's eyes looked up from Bella's and she said, "Hey Dr. Cullen! How was your mini vacation? Did you and the wife go somewhere sunny to get your freak on?"

It was a small movement and I was sure I was the only one to see it…probably because I was so in tune with her body…but I noticed Bella's body stiffen when she heard Jessica's words to me.

"No…nothing like that Miss Stanley. Just needed a little getaway."

Bella turned and planted a fake smile on her face.

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen. Welcome back."

She took the chart that Jessica had in her hands. "I'll go check on Mrs. Coles and see if her room is ready yet."

That was that, the extent of our conversation.

The day passed by quickly even though we were not very busy. It was the weekend and I was surprised we had not seen more patients come through the ER.

After I had a quick bite to eat, I headed back to the emergency room and heard Bella's adorable laughter. She was with a patient and I was dying to know who was making her laugh this way.

When I opened the curtain, I saw two big tanned-skin men with dark black hair talking to her. I recognized the one standing as Sam Uley. He was the best friend of Leah's fiancé, Jacob Black.

"What's all the commotion in here?" I said jokingly.

"Hey Dr. C, how are you?" Sam asked. I had seen him in the ER on more than one occasion. He liked extreme sports and he and Jacob were always getting hurt in one way or another.

"Can't complain, Sam. Who do we have here?" I asked as I eyed the man lying on the bed. I did not like the way he was looking at my Bella, not one bit. He looked at her with lust in his eyes. He liked her and it pissed me off to no end.

She's not yours anymore, you moron.

"This is my brother, Paul. He decided to ride motorcycles with Jake and I, and the motorcycle won."

"He mostly has bruises and scrapes but his arm is going to need stitches, I think," Bella said rather quietly.

She had been laughing and having a good time before I entered. Now she was reserved and quiet.

"Hey chin up, pretty lady. What has you down? Your face is too beautiful to frown. You should always be smiling," Paul said to her.

I was fuming. Who the fuck was he to sit there and flirt with her?

Bella giggled…fucking giggled!

"Thank you, I needed that today. I have to say though; wouldn't your girlfriend be upset to know you are flirting with pretty nurses?"

She stressed the word girlfriend as if she was fishing for information about his relationship status.

He smirked at her and said, "Yeah, she probably would be…if I had one. I am currently single, so feel free to give me your number before I leave here."

She shrugged and said, "Sam knows how to get a hold of me. If you want to talk to me outside of this hospital, you're going to have to work for it, pretty boy."

I was not going to stand here and listen to anymore of this.

"Miss Swan! This is not professional behavior and I won't stand for you acting like this in the hospital with a patient. Please leave and send in Miss Clearwater."

Judging from the expression on her face, she was now furious with me.

Good.

"Of course, Dr. Cullen. I'm sorry, Mr. Uley. Please forgive my unprofessional behavior."

She exited the area and went to find Leah.

"Dr. C, that was harsh and unnecessary. You know Bells and I go way back," Sam said.

"I know, but Sam, this is a hospital. There are certain behaviors that are expected. My father would be appalled to see one of his nurses flirting with a patient the way Miss Swan was flirting with your brother."

Sam nodded but I could tell by the look on his face he still felt I was wrong for chastising her in front of them. Maybe I was, but I could not take another second of watching her flirt with this Paul person.

"How come I've never met you, Paul?"

"Sam and I have different moms and mine was our dad's first wife…so when she left I went with her."

"Ah, so you are the older brother?"

He nodded. Leah pulled the curtain back and looked around at the three of us. "Is everything okay in here? Bella was pretty upset when she came to get me."

"Yes, Miss Clearwater, I am sure Miss Swan is fine. We have work to do in here."

I finished stitching Paul's arm before going to find Bella. She was in the small Forks Hospital cafeteria eating a bowl of fruit when I found her.

"You really need to eat more than that, bab…Bella," I said. I had to stop myself from calling her baby. The word flowed so freely from my lips when I was around her because she was precious to me…but it needed to stop.

"Thanks for the advice, Dr. Cullen, but I'm not that hungry," she sneered.

"Things do not have to be this way between us, Bella. Can't we at least try to be friends?"

"Seriously? Did you really just ask me if we could be friends? You led me on for months, treated me like a whore and then played me like a fiddle and now you want to be friends? Then…you humiliate me in front of patients! No, we most certainly cannot be friends!"

She stormed away from the table, leaving her fruit unfinished. I cleaned up her trash and on my way back to the ER, I saw her standing at the front of the hospital speaking to Paul. She placed her hand gently on his arm and laughed as she spoke to him.

They were going to go out on a date…I just knew it.

He would date her…he would kiss her…make love to her…be her man…take my place. I felt sick to my stomach.

I had to get out of the fucking hospital. I headed towards the ER as fast as my legs would carry me. I was going to find a nurse to call someone in to take my place. I could not be here another minute longer knowing she was moving on without me.

Yes, it was selfish that I was moving on with my wife and did not want Bella to move on with someone else. I didn't fucking care.

I still loved her and watching her with another man hurt…worse than anything I had ever felt before in my life.

Author's Note: Hang in there with me! It's going to be a bumpy ride but I promise you a B&E HEA.

Story Recommendation: Clutch by Sunshine1120 OMG guys if you are not reading this yet drop everything you are doing and RUN to go read it! I spent hours reading through it to get caught up when I should have been sleeping. It is just brilliant and I plan on reading her other stuff as well. As always, drop me a review and you get a little sneak peek at the next chapter. Bella is up again next.