Chapter 211
Kate and Sara walked back into the bedroom and sat down next to the bed. Tegan was awake again and mumbling things to herself, shaking.
"When did she wake up?" asked Kate.
"She was only out for about five minutes" said Lindsey.
Kate looked at the monitor and checked Tegan's BP again.
"Tee… how are you feeling buddy?" asked Kate.
Tegan opened her eyes and looked at Kate. She suddenly seemed startled.
"Get away from me… just get away from me" she yelled. Lindsey tried to hold her down.
"Calm down baby… it's just Kate" she said.
Tegan pushed Lindsey's arm away.
"You too… get away from me… don't touch me" she shouted and shakily got up.
"What's this… get it off me… get it off me…. Snakes… snakes" shouted Tegan standing with her back against the wall looking terrified.
"She's hallucinating" said Kate softly.
Sara held her hand up to Kate and Lindsey.
"Tegan… it's Sara… it's okay we're going to get this off you alright… just sit down for me" said Sara softly.
"Sara… I'm scared… help me" Tegan cried.
"Alright… just relax you're going to be okay… I'm going to help you" said Sara calmly.
Tegan slid down slowly against the wall with her eyes closed.
"Get it off me" she cried.
"Okay… here we go, I'm taking it off now" said Sara slowly disconnecting the heart monitor leads.
Tegan sat with her eyes closed looking petrified, breathing fast and shivering.
"There we go Tee… look, it's gone" said Sara taking Tegan's hand.
"Thank you" whispered Tegan opening her eyes. She looked down at her chest. She seemed calmer. She put her hand on her chest and freaked out again.
"No they're still here…. They're here" she said yanking out the oxygen line from her nose. She looked at the IV in her arm. She grabbed the tube and tugged it hard. The cannula left her arm and blood squirted everywhere.
"Sweetie it's okay… it's not a snake. You're okay" said Lindsey kneeling down to Tegan who was still muttering "No…no… help" out of breath.
Kate quickly put some gauze on Tegan's arm and applied pressure.
"It's okay Tegan… it's gone now" whispered Sara.
Lindsey came a bit closer to comfort Tegan.
"I'm here… I'm here" she whispered.
Tegan sat silently against the wall for a few minutes before her eyes flew open and her arms swung around.
"I need to go… get away" she mumbled.
"Baby calm down" said Lindsey.
Tegan's elbow flew to the side and hit Lindsey on the mouth.
"Ahh fuck" yelled Lindsey and held her hands in front of her mouth as Sara and Erin held Tegan down.
Kate softly took her hands away revealing a face full of blood.
"Shit… hold this on your mouth Linds. I'm going to sort you out in a minute okay" said Kate.
"Fuck… It's okay just calm her down first" said Lindsey.
Tegan looked up at Lindsey and suddenly seemed to snap out of it.
"Boo… Oh my god… baby who hurt you?" she said trying to get up.
"I'm okay Tegan just get into bed" said Lindsey.
Tegan stood swaying, staring at Lindsey. She was starting to wheeze again.
"Okay Tee… it's okay let's get you into bed" said Sara.
"Baby… Linds" said Tegan.
Lindsey just held her hand up as she held pressure on her bleeding mouth.
"I'm tired" said Tegan swaying.
"I know… into bed" said Sara.
"Okay… it's okay" said Erin and helped Tegan back to bed.
Tegan lay on her side clutching her stomach again muttering things to herself.
"You okay here? I have to check Lindsey's lip" said Kate into Sara's ear.
"Yes thank you… I'm more than capable of handling this" said Sara.
"Don't start" whispered Kate.
Lindsey still held the gauze to her mouth with a shaky hand.
Kate took her other hand and led her out of the room.
"Boo… don't go! Please don't leave me" shouted Tegan when she opened her eyes.
"Tegan, listen to me. Kate's just going to help her clean up her mouth. I'm here, Erin's here. Calm down" said Sara.
"Lindsey… I want Lindsey" Tegan cried.
"Go" mouthed Sara. Lindsey shook her head and gave two steps forward.
"GO!" Sara mouthed again.
Tegan just moaned and closed her eyes.
Kate sat a shaken up Lindsey down on the guest room bed. "Let me have a look" she said pulling away the gauze.
"Fuck" whispered Lindsey.
"Hmm, it's bleeding quite a bit but the cut's not that bad, it's on the inside of your lip so you won't have a scar. I think two stitches should do the trick. Are you okay with me doing it here or do you want to go to the ER?" said Kate.
"Of course I'm fine with you doing it… This is killing me" said Lindsey.
"I'll inject some lidocane to numb you up" said Kate.
"No… I mean… seeing Tegan like this is killing me" said Lindsey.
"I know Linds… and Tegan knew that it would too" said Kate.
"That's not an excuse" said Lindsey.
"Give her a break Linds" said Kate preparing the lidocane injection.
"I just don't understand why she kept this from me… why she didn't just… communicate with me" said Lindsey.
"It's not an easy thing to… communicate. I think she felt… ashamed… scared…" said Kate before being interrupted by Lindsey.
"Yeah and that's exactly why she needs me" said Lindsey.
Kate just smiled sadly. "This is going to sting for a few seconds" said Kate.
-o-
Tegan seemed to be calming down a bit and still lay in the exact same position on her side.
"Sasa" she whispered.
"I'm here Teetee" said Sara softly.
"I'm glad" whispered Tegan.
Sara gently put the pulse ox meter back onto Tegan's finger. The light flashed fast.
Kate came back into the room a few minutes later.
"She's okay… she's just getting cleaned up. How's Tee?" she said.
"She seems much calmer now. Her sats are okay" said Sara.
Kate looked at the pulse ox meter.
"She's tachy… I don't like it" she mumbled.
"She's what?" asked Sara.
"Her pulse is very fast" said Kate.
"Yeah I told you that a while ago" said Sara looking mad.
Kate rolled her eyes dramatically.
"I need to start a new line" said Kate taking Tegan's arm.
"And hope she doesn't pull it out again" said Sara.
"If I have to get her in restraints I will. Anyway… look at her… she's pretty out of it right now" said Kate.
"Linds… Boo" Tegan moaned.
Kate got another IV started without much trouble.
-o-
Lindsey stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red and her mouth was swollen. She wiped away some new tears and took a deep breath before going back into the main bedroom.
Kate looked up and smiled. Kate's smile always made Lindsey feel at ease.
Erin got up from the bed and waved Lindsey over.
"I know you probably don't feel like cuddling right now but she's all yours" whispered Erin.
Tegan was groaning, eyes closed. Lindsey still seemed upset but she crawled over the bed to next to Tegan. She ran her fingers through Tegan's hair.
"Boo… is that you?" groaned Tegan with her eyes closed.
"Yeah, it's me… I'm here. Just relax" said Lindsey softly.
Tegan turned around and opened her eyes.
"Oh my god… are you okay? You're hurt" said Tegan.
"I'm okay… it's alright" said Lindsey.
"Who did this to you?" asked Tegan.
"Just had a little mishap sweetie… it's nothing" said Lindsey trying her best to hide her emotion.
Tegan frowned.
"How are you feeling?" asked Lindsey.
"Okay… the nausea's a bit better" said Tegan.
"That's good sweetie… try and get some rest now alright" said Lindsey softly touching Tegan's cheek.
"I love you" whispered Tegan.
Lindsey just smiled, trying not to cry.
"Sleep" she said and took Tegan's hand.
Tegan was still shivering.
"You're going to be okay… I love you" said Lindsey softly.
Tegan was drifting in and out of sleep, tossing and turning for the next hour. Kate, Sara and Erin sat wordlessly next to her bed.
Tegan woke up again and mumbled something about throwing up. Kate handed her the bucket again and Tegan dry heaved a couple of times. Kate looked at the pulse ox meter on her finger.
"Tee just lie back and take deep breaths now… we need to get your heart rate down" said Kate.
Tegan lay back but started wheezing again.
"I'm going to get you on the nebulizer to open your airways buddy… you're okay" said Kate and put the nebulizer mask on Tegan's face.
"I'm dying" mumbled Tegan again.
"You're going to be okay… just try and calm yourself down now… breathe" said Kate calmly.
Tegan gave a few weak coughs and lay back with her eyes closed. Kate pressed the button on the BP cuff and frowned at the result.
"Tegan… I'm going to get you back on the heart monitor buddy. You okay with that?" asked Kate.
Tegan nodded still holding the mask to her face.
"Alright… there we go. Nothing to worry about, just take it easy" said Sara squeezing Tegan's hand.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry" mumbled Tegan.
"It's alright… you're okay" said Sara.
"Ugh… It's so cold" said Tegan shivering.
"Okay, we're going to get you all snug as soon as we've attached these. Look… just some wires okay" said Kate.
"Okay" said Tegan and closed her eyes again.
Tegan was as calm as she could be for the next half hour although she still lay shivering, drenched in sweat.
"I'm going to make some coffee, you guys want some?" asked Erin getting up.
"I'll come help" said Kate.
"No don't leave" said Sara taking Kate's hand.
"Sweetie… she's okay, I'm right outside if you need me. I just need to check some supplies in the living room too" said Kate and kissed Sara's head.
"Okay… what should I look out for?" asked Sara.
"Just keep an eye on her pulse sweetie. It should stay between about 70 and 120. I'm right outside if you need me" said Kate.
"Okay" said Sara nervously.
Lindsey lay on her back next to Tegan staring at the ceiling.
"You okay Linds?" said Sara softly.
"No not really" said Lindsey softly.
Sara walked over to the other side of the bed.
"Hey… I know it hurts… I'm sorry" said Sara.
Lindsey just shook her head and clenched her jaw trying to contain her emotions.
Tegan turned around again groaning.
"I'm so relieved and happy that she has you Linds… you're amazing… I hope you know that" said Sara and patted Lindsey's thigh before getting up.
-o-
Kate stared at the coffee dripping into the pot.
"You okay?" said Erin putting her hand on Kate's shoulder.
Kate snapped out of it and proceeded to take out the coffee cups.
"Yeah" she said fast.
"This can't be easy for you" said Erin.
"No it's not… anyway, it can't be easy for you either" said Kate.
Erin smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this… again" said Kate.
"No problem at all" said Erin.
"You know… I never told anybody. You and Alex were the only people who knew. If it wasn't for the two of you God knows where I be today" said Kate.
"It was the least we could do" said Erin.
"I can't believe I still… get embarrassed and nervous talking about it" said Kate.
"You shouldn't… you got through it. You should be proud of yourself" said Erin.
"Yeah… I guess… difficult though" said Kate.
-o-
"We're back" said Kate softly to Sara and squeezed her shoulder.
"Everything still okay?" asked Kate
"Yeah, looks like it. She's been tossing and turning but she seems to be okay" said Sara.
Kate took Tegan's BP yet again.
"It's a bit low but that's expected" said Kate sitting down next to Sara.
"Shouldn't rehab be like… a 28 day programme or something" said Sara.
"Probably… if you've been an addict for years, yeah. Tegan hasn't. This isn't rehab Sara its rapid detox. We're going to have to be her rehab for the next few weeks. She's had a lot to deal with recently. Death, injury, assault, lots of work stress. We're going to help her through it though" said Kate sipping her coffee.
"Thanks guys" said Tegan with her eyes still closed.
"You're awake" said Kate.
"Kind of difficult to sleep for more than a few minutes when it feels like hundreds of ants are running up and down your skin" said Tegan scratching her arms.
"Can I get you something?" asked Kate.
"No thanks… I'll just puke again" said Tegan softly.
"You're doing great Tee. Hang in there" said Sara.
Lindsey still stared at the ceiling in silence.
Tegan turned around and put her arm over Lindsey's body. Lindsey turned her head away.
"Baby… I want the koala" mumbled Tegan.
"Right now I don't really care" said Lindsey and got up.
"Boo? Come back" said Tegan.
"I need some fresh air. I'm right outside Tegan" said Lindsey.
Lindsey burst out into the cool night air and took a deep gulp of air. She put her hands on her knees and let out an agonising sob.
Sara watched her sister in law from inside the living room. Her heart felt like it was being ripped in two. She gave Lindsey a few minutes alone and eventually joined her outside. She walked up to her and hugged her.
"You okay?" she asked.
"I should have picked this up… I'm with her the whole day. I swear I never suspected a thing. I even encouraged her to take some pain meds every now and again… she really seemed to be in pain" said Lindsey.
"And I'm sure she was… Linds this is not your fault" said Sara.
"Feels like it is… I'm mad at her but I'm furious with myself" said Lindsey.
"It's going to be okay… you guys are going to get through this just fine" said Sara.
"Thanks Sar" said Lindsey looking down.
"Why don't you go home and get some rest. We've got her" said Sara.
"Not a chance… not yet" smiled Lindsey.
-o-
A few minutes later Lindsey was back next to Tegan. Sara, Kate and Erin sat next to the bed looking exhausted.
Tegan sat up and rubbed her eyes.
"Everything alright?" asked Kate.
"Yeah just want so sit up for a while, my head is killing me" said Tegan.
Erin put some pillows behind Tegan's back.
"How are you feeling?" asked Sara.
"Ugh… it comes and goes. Still crappy" said Tegan, her voice scratchy.
"Have some water" said Lindsey.
"No thanks… it's going to come out again" said Tegan weakly.
"God I'm so dizzy" said Tegan closing her eyes.
"I'm going to shine a light into your eyes Tee, just relax" said Kate.
Kate shone the light into Tegan's pupils, she didn't complain. Kate put her palm on Tegan's forhead and took her temperature.
"You're definitely running a fever" said Kate.
"Ugh" grunted Tegan.
"Alright… I'm just going to up your fluids a bit see if that helps. Erin, can you grab a wet cloth" said Kate opening the IV line wider.
"I didn't mean… to get you guys involved… I'm sorry I… I" Tegan slurred, her head fell to the side mid-sentence and her eyes closed.
"Tegan!" said Kate slapping her cheek.
"Kate her pulse is down to 40… it was 110 a few seconds ago… oh fuck" said Sara sounding panicked.
"Tee… baby" said Lindsey on her knees next to Tegan.
"Erin get my bag" said Kate looking at the monitor screen flashing the word "alarm" over it.
"Lindsey get the pillows out" said Kate.
Lindsey pulled out the pillows behind Tegan and Kate lay her limp body flat and tilted her head back.
"Wake up baby" said Lindsey in tears.
Kate listened to Tegan's lungs with her stethoscope.
"Very shallow, slow breathing. Ambu bag" said Kate snapping her fingers.
"Breathe Tegan… come on brother" said Sara.
"Sara. One breath every four or 5 seconds please" instructed Kate pulling out medication from her bag.
"Turn the monitor sound back on please" said Kate calmly.
"Talk to me" said Kate pulling meds into a syringe.
"Still 40…38… 41" said Erin.
"Erin push the BP button" said Kate.
Erin did as instructed as Kate plunged the needle into the IV.
"Um… 90 over 60" said Erin.
"Come on Tee… pick up speed bud" mumbled Kate with her fingers in Tegan's neck.
"Still only 42" said Erin.
"Give it a sec" said Kate.
Everybody stared at the monitor for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity.
"There it is… back up to 70" said Kate and gave a sigh of relief looking shaken up.
"Is she… is she okay now?" asked Lindsey.
Tegan gave a cough and opened her eyes.
"Hey T-bag… welcome back, you gave us a little scare for a minute or two" said Kate and put her stethoscope on Tegan's chest.
"Huh?" mumbled Tegan, completely unaware of what happened.
"Deep breaths" said Kate.
"Ugh I want this to be over… I feel like shit" grunted Tegan.
"You're doing good Tee… hang in there it's almost over" said Kate and injected something else into Tegan's IV.
"No… don't do that… no more drugs" said Tegan.
"It's not that kind of drug bud… you need this one to stabilize you and to bring this fever you're running down" said Kate.
Tegan gave a shiver again.
"It's okay honey… get some rest now" said Lindsey taking Tegan's hand.
Tegan's eyes fluttered closed.
Sara poked Kate in the shoulder. When Kate looked up Sara motioned for her to go outside.
"Erin… keep an eye on her sats and her pulse please" said Kate and followed Sara out of the room.
"Are you fucking sure she shouldn't be in a hospital… that scared the crap out of me" said Sara.
"Sar… I've got this. Really" said Kate. She took Sara's shaking hands in hers.
"Look at me baby… Sar" she said softly.
Sara looked up into her love's eyes.
"She's okay… I know you're so, so worried right now but I'm going to take such good care of her… I promise" said Kate softly. Sara just pulled her in for a hug.
"I want this over too Tegan" she whispered.
A/N: Another chapter coming today! Hang tight, I know this isn't very nice to read but she needed to go through this, couldn't just skip it.
Please remember to send some feedback. It's been really quiet recently. Without feedback I get really disinterested in writing and I feel kind of left in the dark. Maybe I should start thinking of wrapping up the story soon. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Check back in a few minutes for the next one.