Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters.

Author's Note: HUGE shout out & thank you to my beta dolphin62598 for getting these chapters back to me so quickly! And another big thanks to my pre-reader teacher1209 for reading over these and giving me her thoughts! Song Inspiration for this chapter: What If I Never Get Over You by Lady A.

Chapter 7

BPOV

What If I Never Get Over You

6 Months Pregnant

I had been settling into a routine in Phoenix nicely. I was currently six months along with the babies and actually feeling decent most days.

Paul had never been to Phoenix so he truly did consider this his next big adventure. I had spent time between Phoenix and Forks when I was younger since I was the product of divorced parents, so being in Phoenix was not completely new to me.

Ever since I had left Forks, guilt had plagued me. That day in the on-call room, the very last time I saw Edward Cullen, I should have told him the truth. The fact that I did not haunted me daily.

I was torn with whether or not to tell him he was the father. However, once I saw the relief flood his face after I lied about the babies' paternity, I knew I had made the right decision. Regardless, I felt like shit for lying to him.

These babies were not going to have a father. They would have me and hopefully that would always be enough.

At least they would grow up close to one grandparent. I would make sure that we made trips to Forks as often as possible so that they would also know their Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Sue, Uncle Seth and Aunt Leah. And perhaps I could confide the truth to Esme and Carlisle so they could know their grandchildren as well. I was still at war with myself about whether or not to make that decision.

When I thought about my family members left behind, it made me sad. I wanted them to be a bigger part of my children's lives but it just was not possible. What a mess I had made.

My mom had been amazing since we arrived. She never questioned anything, just went with the flow. She actually told me it was smart for Paul and I to be living apart so that way in case things did not work out I would know I could do this on my own…with close personal help from her of course. She made it known without a doubt that she would always be in her grandchildren's life, no matter where they were.

Paul and I were living in our separate apartments. They were even in separate buildings but still relatively close together so that we saw each other frequently.

We had been on many dates since we arrived and he had attended most doctor appointments.

I did not feel the need to have him at every single one, even though he continued to tell me he wanted to be there. I felt it was important to try to keep him somewhat at a distance.

Part of me still felt connected to Edward, which probably pushed me to make the decisions that I did.

Feeling my babies growing inside of me every day…there was nothing else in the world like that feeling. I was enjoying it more and more every single day and was actually dreading the closer I got to my due date.

Part of me was also terrified of the birth. Being a nurse, I had always been on the opposite side of women giving birth. I knew it would be painful and having twins was a completely different story. It would have been great to have their actual birth father involved for support.

I shook off more thoughts of Edward as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I could not have picked a better hospital than Phoenix Memorial and was glad that Carlisle had managed to secure me a job here. It was the next best thing to still working at Forks General.

Dr. Volturi was a great doctor and very welcoming. I had also become great friends with two nurses working there. Jasper and Rose made me feel right at home immediately. They congregated in a tight knit group outside of work that included them and their spouses.

Jasper was a male nurse that anyone would be lucky to work with and learn from. He and Rose became fast friends while working in the ER together even though their personalities were polar opposites.

Rose was a complete knockout, which led her to have a tough exterior. She found throughout her life that colleagues, especially doctors, did not take her seriously because of her looks. She looked more as if she belonged on a runway than in an emergency room but she was one of the sweetest people I had ever met once I got to know her.

Jasper was married to Alice who had inserted herself into my life as my new best friend whether I wanted her there or not. However, I definitely wanted her there. She was amazing and I wondered frequently how I had made it this far in my life without knowing her.

She was there for me whenever I needed her. Together with Rose, the three of us had become extremely close. They were both always questioning me about the paternity of the twins.

In a moment of weeping over some chocolate ice cream and The Notebook with the girls, I had confided in them that Paul was not the father. Ever since that night, they were relentless about finding out whom the real dad was.

So far, I had managed to keep that to myself but they were both sneaky little buggers.

Rose was married to Emmett who was seriously like the older brother I always wanted. He was amazingly hilarious and complemented Rose perfectly.

Between all the new people I had met in Phoenix, Mom, Phil and Paul, I had formed quite the amazing little support system for my pregnancy.

They were my family away from home and I leaned on them a great deal.

I made my way from my car into the hospital smiling along the way. Today I was working in the ER with both Jasper and Rose. It was always a blast when the three of us worked together.

"Hey beautiful," Rose said as she winked at me.

"How's it going sexy?" I joked back with her.

Jasper came around the corner laughing. "You two will fuel the gossip mill if you keep that up."

Rose smiled and said, "Duh, what do you think we are trying to do?"

Yes, Phoenix Memorial was a lot like Forks General, full of gossip. That was one thing about hospitals that I never cared for. Carlisle warned me that every hospital had its fair share of gossip.

I played along with Rose.

"Yep, Jasper, haven't you heard the scandalous story of how Rose is leaving Emmett to help me raise my illegitimate babies and make sweet lesbian monkey love to me for the rest of her life?"

The three of us busted out laughing as one of the night nurses, Tracy stood there listening with a shocked look on her face.

"It's a joke Tracy, jeez. You can go home now. We've got this," Rose told her.

Tracy gathered up her things and left in a hurry. I was pretty sure she was scared of Rose, which I found hilarious because she really would not hurt a fly.

Unless of course that fly messed with someone she cared about. When Rose loved you, she loved you something fierce and would protect you with her last breathe if need be.

Tracy however was the biggest gossip at the hospital and I knew firsthand how news traveled around hospitals once the gossiping got started.

"Rose, I was just joking. I hope that nothing gets back to Emmett about what we said. I don't want him to think there is any truth to that."

Rose and Jasper both busted out laughing at me.

"Darlin', if that rumor got back to Emmett, he would probably buy tickets to watch," Jasper said while still laughing.

Rose gave me a quick hug; carefully making sure no one around saw her being vulnerable. "Yea sweetie, my husband would not believe bullshit he hears from the gossiping whores around here and even if he did, Jazz is right. He would want a front row see to some lesbian monkey love."

I was already the cause of trouble in one marriage; I did not want to be trouble for another, especially when I loved them both dearly.

Shaking off thoughts of Edward for the millionth time today, I got to work with Jasper and Rose.

Things were slow this morning in the ER. While we were sitting at the station going over charts, Rose asked me about my appointment for the ultrasound tomorrow.

"Who are you taking with you?"

"My mom. She is beyond excited about it. I don't think I could keep her away if I tried. Paul wants to come but I haven't decided yet if I am going to let him."

"That guy loves you, Bells."

"I know."

The truth was…I did know that Paul had developed feelings of love for me. I just did not know what to do about them. I had kept myself at a distance for a reason. I did not want Paul becoming too attached to the babies or me. This was a situation of convenience…nothing more.

I had tried to open up my heart since we had been dating but it just was not happening.

It was a mess I had made that I did not know how to get myself out of. I had to figure something out before the babies were born. Once they were here, he would become more connected to them.

"Rose, I don't know what to do about Paul. He was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time but now not so much."

"Sweetie, you have to follow your heart and do what you think is best for you and your children. Do you love Paul?"

I nodded, "Yes…but I am not in love with him. I love him as a friend. I feel for him as I do you guys."

"Then you have to tell him. You are a good person but it's not fair to string him along and let him think that one day there will be more for you two. Don't let him go to that appointment tomorrow. While I know you may want him there for support, don't do it to him."

"You're right. I may not want to hear it, but you are so right, Rose. Thanks."

"No problem. You know I love you and am here for you always. We all are."

She was right. I could not let Paul come to the ultrasound tomorrow. It would help his attachment grow. Paul had uprooted his entire life for me though, so I would have to let him down very easily.

Later when I had finished my shift, I called and asked Paul to meet me at my apartment.

He showed up of course, with dinner.

Paul was such a sweetheart. Why couldn't I love him back?

He may not have said the words, but I was pretty sure he felt that way. I was not sure if it was true love or an infatuation of some sort but either way he had feelings for me that I did not reciprocate.

And who was I kidding? I knew exactly why I couldn't love him back. I felt as if my heart would always belong to Edward. What if I never got over him? What if I was never able to move on with another?

While we ate, I decided to let him know my decision about the ultrasound. I would work out a way to break up with him later. One step at a time.

"Paul, I've decided that I want it to just be my mom and me at the ultrasound tomorrow."

He actually did not look bothered or hurt at all. He looked somewhat…relieved.

Reaching across the small kitchen table and taking my hand he said, "Thank goodness. Don't get me wrong Bells, I do want to be there for you whenever you need me. I think you know how I feel about you. But I'm not a moron. I know you don't feel it back. And I am kind of sure it's because you still have feelings for whoever the babies' father is. While I understand that completely, I don't think I could take sitting through an ultrasound on these two little balls of awesome knowing I won't ever get to be their dad."

I squeezed his hand back letting a few tears that had gathered fall down my cheeks. I was relieved he knew how I felt but my heart hurt for him. I had let it go too far.

"I'm so sorry Paul. I never meant for you to get dragged this far into this."

"I know you didn't. I leapt in headfirst. No harm no foul, I promise. Since, we are being honest…I don't think I'm ready to be a dad anyway. As much as I know those babies will be amazing and awesome because their mom is…I want to stay cool Uncle Paul. I don't want to be Daddy."

I was confused. He just told me the reason he did not want to sit through the ultrasound was that he could not take knowing he would never be a dad to the twins.

"Paul…you just said…"

He did not let me finish.

"I know what I said and I know it's confusing. But I am kind of mixed up on the situation. Maybe I am having sympathy hormones from being around you so much. Who knows, Bella? There are two parts to my feelings. There is the small part that wants to be a dad to the twins and would be hurt to see them on the screen knowing it will never happen. Also, a bigger part is no way ready to be a dad and settle down like that.

"While I want to be that guy for you so badly because of how I feel for you…a part of me is terrified to sit in that room tomorrow for that ultrasound and discover that I can't be that guy for you. Not because you won't let me…but because I just can't settle down like that yet."

Quite the pair we were…he was as torn inside as I was.

"How about we take it down a notch and stay just friends. No more dating. I think that is the fair way to go. You can't be at my beck and call anymore, it's not fair to either of us knowing what we know now."

"Deal, we can finish this food though right?" He laughed and I joined him.

Always thinking of his stomach.

We finished dinner and when I laid down to sleep that night, I slept better than I had in awhile.

It was ultrasound day and my mother was in my apartment early hovering over me with a glass of juice and a plate of waffles, bacon and eggs.

I loved my mom.

On the way to the appointment, things were silent until she started talking.

"Are you nervous? You get to find out what you are having today. I'm nervous and excited for you! What are you hoping for?"

"I don't think I'm nervous mom. Just excited…yea I am just excited. All I want is two happy and healthy babies. I only want to know the sexes so I can work on picking out names and buy gender appropriate things."

"Have you thought of names yet?"

The truth was…I had been thinking a lot about names and had some in mind that I loved immensely.

"A little," I said.

I knew if either of them was a boy, I had to get Edward's name in there some way somehow. It was risky and stupid I was sure but I could not help it. I had to have a part of him involved in our children one way or another.

"Well come on, what gives? Tell me these names you have been thinking about."

"Mom, I don't want to share them until I know what the babies are."

Poor Mom looked disappointed. I reached over and patted her shoulder. "Mom, you will be the first to know their names after me, I promise."

That seemed to perk her back up again.

"So why isn't their father here for this ultrasound?"

"Because…Paul is not their father. The father is still back in Forks and is not involved in their lives nor will he ever be."

As I said that she was just turning into the parking spot at the hospital and what I said made her stop so hard we both jolted forward. I knew it was probably a bad time to be telling her this news but a part of me just wanted it out in the open. I figured Paul would be around less now and I wanted her to understand why.

"WHAT?! Then tell me Isabella Marie…WHO is the father?"

I undid my seatbelt and turned to look at her as best as I could with my growing belly.

"I am not discussing this with you right now, Mom. The babies only need me. I have not shared who the father is with anyone but Leah and that was only because she caught me in a moment of weakness and you know how she is. It does not matter…they…have…me. End of story. Can we please go to my appointment now?"

As we were getting out of the car in typical mom fashion, she mumbled, "This is not over young lady."

Seeing the babies on the screen was amazing. They were both so beautiful.

"Are you ready Miss Swan?" The technician asked.

I nodded and mom was at my side squeezing my hand tight. We both had tears in our eyes and I was happy to share this moment with her.

The technician used the mouse to point out on the screen that baby number one was a girl and baby number two was a boy.

One of each….a boy and a girl.

I felt so blessed in that moment. There was only one thing missing…their father.

On the way back home, mom and I were discussing the nursery and doing one side for a boy and one side for a girl. That would work while they were babies and then as they got older, they would not be able to share a room obviously.

I was only halfway paying attention to our conversation. My mind was spinning with thoughts of names. I knew right away my son's name was going to be Anthony Charles. I planned to call him Tony. Edward's middle name was Anthony and of course, Charles was my father's formal name.

Anthony Charles Swan.

I wanted them both to have the same initials so I started playing around with names I had always liked in my head.

"I've got their names, Mom."

She was bouncing in her seat with excitement. "What are they? Tell me my grandchildren's names. Come on, spill Bells."

"Anthony Charles Swan…I want to call him Tony."

"Oh sweetie, your dad will be so touched! And my granddaughter, what will her name be?"

"Addison Claire Swan…I am not sure if I want to call her Addy or Addison…"

Mom cut me off, "Claire…we will call her Claire."

I smiled. Claire…I loved it.

My babies were Tony and Claire Swan.

No one could ever know they were really Cullens.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for reading! I know that a lot of you are pissed that Bella lied to Edward. I also know that a lot of you are upset about Edward's behavior and do not see any way of him redeeming himself. As I have said, this story is completely written and it is an HEA for E&B. That will not change. I understand if many of you feel you can't stick around for that. I do appreciate everyone's thoughts and reviews so so much! I love reading them all. I try to respond to each and every one but it won't let me if you have disabled private messaging or if you are logged in as a guest only. Next chapter we hear from Edward again and things will be changing for him. Let me know your thoughts on the chapter and I have a snippet from the brain of our beloved E lol. Hope everyone has a great day!

Story Recommendation: A Beautiful Mess by Rainbows and Puppies. I just started this this morning and was extremely pissed when I had to get out of bed and get ready for work and leave it behind. I am loving it so far! Go check it out!