Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters.

Author's Note: HUGE shout out & thank you to my beta dolphin62598 for getting these chapters back to me so quickly! And another big thanks to my pre-reader teacher1209 for reading over these and giving me her thoughts! Another BIG shout out and thank you to LunaEclipse17 for creating the kick ass banner for this story! You can check it out on my Facebook page. Song Inspirations for this chapter: Thinking Out Loud by Lesley Roy

Chapter 9

BPOV

Thinking Out Loud

8 Months Pregnant

It had been a few months since the discussion with Paul about ending our dating relationship. I felt like he stuck around in hopes that things would change.

Whenever we would part ways for the day, he always leaned in for a kiss. I would turn my cheek at the last second. After our discussion about our relationship, my heart knew that he was only a friend and I could not push it any farther than that.

I wanted to keep him in my life as a friend, but if he continued to try to push the limits I had set, that was going to change quickly.

When I woke up this morning, it was in a cold sweat after another night spent dreaming of Edward. The dreams had been more frequent lately, almost on a nightly basis.

Some nights they were wonderful dreams about a future that would not be happening for us. Dreams where he left Tanya as planned and was ecstatic to find out about our twins. Some dreams even included seeing the twins completely grown, Edward, and I still together and blissfully happy.

Other nights, they were nightmares where I spent chasing Edward through an unknown tunnel and every time I was almost close enough to touch him, he would disappear.

Either way, the dreams always left me feeling nothing but disappointed and heartbroken.

It was one of the nightmares that woke me up this morning, making me feel anxious.

Once awake, I decided to go ahead and get out of bed to get ready for the day. It was a nice Saturday in Phoenix and today I was going over to Rose and Emmett's for a big barbecue. I already knew the reason because Rose had confided in me.

Rose was pregnant and today they were telling all their friends and family. She told Alice and I together because she did not want Alice and Jasper to be bombarded with the news as a surprise. They had been trying to get pregnant for the last year without any success. It was a very sensitive subject for them. Even the fertility doctor they visited could not find any viable reason why Alice was not getting pregnant. Mother Nature was just being a bitch to her.

Alice took it like a trooper though and expressed her sadness at not being pregnant herself but that she would be an awesome aunt to my twins as well as Rose and Em's baby.

I was excited to be getting out of the apartment for the day. I was already on my maternity leave for work and ready for these two to make their arrival.

As I was standing in the shower, enjoying the hot water, I placed my hands over my protruding stomach. I was huge.

"Good morning Claire…good morning Tony. Mommy loves you."

I started telling them good morning and good night every single day. Both of my parents were always great about making sure to tell me good morning and good night. It was something that made me feel special when I was growing up. It felt as if even though my parents were separate from each other, that they both still loved me more than anything. I wanted my babies to have that…especially since I had lied to their father and they would never be around him.

As I continued my shower, my mind drifted back to the conversation I had with Carlisle and Esme. It was so great to speak with them and I wanted to finally fill them in on everything that had been happening here in Phoenix for me.

Carlisle was genuinely happy things were going well at the hospital. I was glad that Dr. Volturi had actually talked to him and told him I was doing well. He was also excited with the news about a boy and a girl. He said it would be nice to have one of each.

When I told him the names, I explained that my son would have Charlie's middle name and I had not picked a first name to go with it just yet. I was able to tell him the full name I had picked out for Claire since that did not run the risk of him suspecting anything.

I felt horrible for keeping Carlisle and Esme's grandchildren from them and had to stop myself from blurting out their paternity to him on the phone. Maybe one day they could be a part of their life and maybe they would forgive me for keeping them away.

As I spoke to Esme, she already sounded like a doting grandmother on the phone gushing about the babies. A part of me knew that I was not going to be able to take the pain of keeping them at an arm's length. But for now I wanted to stay in my pretend bubble where no one knew what a horrible person I was for lying to my children's other set of grandparents…and their father.

I finished my shower and got ready for the barbecue, before I could allow any tears to cloud my vision.

Rose and Emmett had already made their announcement and the barbecue had definitely livened up. All of their family and friends were bombarding them with congratulatory hugs and well wishes for a healthy pregnancy.

Alice and Jasper quietly hung back to the side, pretending to continue to work on cooking the food on the grill. Jasper would lean down and kiss the top of his wife's head and whisper things into her ear just for them. Whatever he said would bring a bright smile to Ali's face. I longed for what my friends had.

I joined them so they would not feel completely alone in their sorrow.

"Is the food going to be done anytime soon, Jazz?" I teased him.

"You can't expect me to rush perfection, Darlin'" he smiled.

"So…will Paul be joining you? I knew you said you were thinking about bringing him."

I smiled at Alice. She wanted to keep talking about something other than what the purpose of this barbecue actually was. If my friends needed a distraction, I was going to give them that.

"Yes, he should be here soon."

The truth was, I really did not want him to accept the invitation but I knew that he would. I invited him to be nice. I felt bad that he moved to Phoenix for me and really had not made any friends here the way that I had. I included him as much as possible but he was making that more difficult as of late.

"How are things going with you two?" Alice asked.

Rose and Alice knew how strange and difficult things had been between Paul and I lately. They were still trying to get me to reveal who the father of the babies was but I had not budged with that information.

"Stressful," I said. I was not sure how else to describe it. I figured Alice had told Jasper the situation between Paul and I. She told Jasper everything…as couples should.

"It will get better, Bella, just focus on motherhood and those beautiful babies that will be joining us soon," Jasper said with a smile.

"Thanks you guys, I know this hard for you."

Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice and kissed her forehead. "It's all good…at least we have each other."

They were lost in a moment with each other and I turned to find Rose and Emmett when something shook me to my core.

Edward

I saw the bronze hair and excused myself from Alice and Jasper in a rush. I had to get to him. I saw him moving through a crowd of people in the McCarty backyard and I was almost running after him. When I finally reached him, I tapped his shoulder.

"Edward, what are you doing…."

When the man turned around, it wasn't him. My shoulders sunk and I was utterly disappointed. I had dreamt about our reunion so many times. I knew it was too good to be true that he was actually here. And when I thought about it…I knew I did not really want him here in the first place. Pregnancy hormones were seriously messing with my emotions. I had to get it together.

The man smiled at me.

"I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"Can I get you a drink of water or some iced tea maybe? You look very thirsty." He asked as he continued to smile.

I was completely out of breath because…well you try chasing after someone when you're eight months pregnant with twins. It seemed like this guy was attempting to flirt though and I wanted no part of that. Thankfully, my best friends came to my rescue.

"Sorry, we need her assistance with something," Rosalie said from behind me. She and Alice surrounded me and gently took me by my arms and helped me into the house.

They walked me to the kitchen and sat me down in a chair at the kitchen table.

"What was that all about? You looked as if you had seen a ghost, Bella! I had to go hunt Rose down so that we could find you."

I put my head in my hands and finally let out all the tears I had been holding inside.

"I thought it was him! He was here! I'm so tired. I've been having dreams of him every single damn night and it's not fair! Why did he pick her over me? We could have been so great together! I know I am a horrible person for sleeping with a married man and technically my boss but I love him so much! Why…why did he have to hurt me the way that he did?"

They did not interrupt my babbling. They just let me cry and rant.

When I was finally pulling myself together and Rose had retrieved me a box of tissues, Alice began speaking.

"Who Bella? Who did you think you saw? Please talk to us. We're here for you and we have no idea who you are talking about. We don't know him personally so it won't hurt to tell us. Who is the father of your babies?"

I looked up at them and whispered, "Edward Cullen. He was an ER doctor at Forks General. His father is chief of staff there."

Rose and Alice looked at each other. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen's son? He knocked you up?" Rose asked.

"Rose! Do you have to be so blunt?" Alice chastised.

"Sorry, Bells."

I shook my head. "No apology necessary. Yes, he is the father of my twins. I had an affair with a married man and I am a slut for doing it! I enjoyed every second of it until he broke my heart. He promised me he would leave his wife but he never did!"

The tears returned and my friends cocooned me into a tight hug as I continued to rant.

"And to make matters worse, I lied to him…to his face! I told him Paul is the father of these babies when he confronted me about it. Not to mention the fact that I am keeping the sweetest people on the planet from knowing they have two wonderful grandchildren to look forward to. I'm a dirty whore…and a liar. I don't deserve to be happy!" I continued to sob into their welcoming arms when Alice's voice started calming me.

"Sweetie, it's going to be okay. I know it doesn't seem that way now but it will be. Trust me, everything will work out the way it is supposed to."

Rose continued, "Bells…you made mistakes. No one is perfect. But you most certainly deserve to be happy and I don't want to hear that nonsense again. Tony and Claire will be two of the most loved children on the planet. Ali is right, everything else is going to work out. We will figure everything out…together. You're not alone and you will never be alone. We will always be here. Do you understand me? Don't make me use my mom voice that I've been practicing."

Before I could answer them, we heard a noise from the living room. It startled us and we rushed to see what the commotion was. Paul was bending over picking up the pieces of the lamp on the table beside the couch.

"Shit Paul, what did you do?" Rose asked.

"Sorry Rosalie. I was coming to find Bella and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I ran into the table and knocked over the lamp. I'm really sorry and I'll replace it for you."

Rose started helping him pick up the broken pieces. "It's fine. No worries."

"I'm going to take Bella to the bathroom and get her cleaned up," Alice told them.

Paul was acting weird and finally stopped picking up broken glass long enough to look at me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded and followed Alice. Paul and Rose stayed behind to clean up the mess and there was one burning question floating through my head.

Did Paul hear anything that I was telling Rose and Alice?

Five days had passed since the barbecue and Paul had been acting very strange. He was still coming around to see me and still trying to hold my hand and kiss me, but he acted guilty about something. That left me constantly wondering exactly what he heard the day of the barbecue.

I hoped it was my pregnancy brain messing with me. I was starting to feel as if I was ready for these babies to get here. The more days that went by, the more uncomfortable I became.

I was up to weekly doctor's appointments to check the progress of my babies. Today, the doctor said everything looked great and was progressing normally. The more I talked about the babies the more excited I got about meeting them.

I was mindlessly humming along to the elevator music as I left the doctor's office, when my phone started ringing. I dug through my purse trying to find it. Once I finally grabbed it, I did not pay any attention to the number before I answered.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella," whispered the voice on the other end. I would know that voice anywhere. It was Edward.

I knew that trying to hear calls in the elevator was difficult so I rushed to get out of the elevator and into my car. While in my head, I knew I did not want nor did I need to talk to him. In my heart, I wanted to badly.

The fact was…he called me. He had actually called me! A part of me I could not deny desperately longed to hear what he had to say.

"Give me just a sec, I'm trying to get out of the elevator so I can hear you," I told him. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, I looked at my phone and noticed I had two bars now so I continued speaking while walking to my car. "Edward, why are you calling me?"

"Bella, I know you told me you want me to leave you alone and not contact you…but I had to. My mom was kind enough to give me your home number and I called you the other night. I spoke to Paul and I heard what he said loud and clear…but Bells, I still had to talk to you.

"I'm sorry I just had to. I snuck into my dad's phone and got your cell number. I was hoping maybe we could talk without Paul around. I don't want to cause trouble for you two…but fuck Bella…I just really need to talk to you…"

I cut him off before he could finish what he was saying. When had he spoken to Paul? Paul never mentioned a damn thing about Edward calling my apartment!

"Edward, when did you speak to Paul?"

"Three days ago. I called and he answered. He said you were in…shower…said…you two…leave…don't contact..."

The connection was breaking up because of the stupid parking garage. I needed to know what he was saying. I was beyond frustrated as I tried getting through to him, "Edward you're breaking up. Please repeat what you just told me. I can't hear you."

The call was lost and I was left sitting in my car completely in silence as I stared at my cell phone.

I really wanted to call Edward back immediately but I couldn't. I needed to go deal with Paul first and find out exactly what he said to Edward.

I made it to Paul's apartment in record time. When he opened the door, he looked shocked to see me.

"First off, why are you answering my phone? Second, when you do, why am I not getting the message about it?"

Paul's shoulders dropped and he knew I had learned about his deception.

"He called you again, hunh?"

"Yeah…he did. What did you tell him? And why didn't you tell me he called?"

"I overheard you guys at the barbecue last week. I finally knew who the real father of the twins was and then when he called while you were in the shower the other night, jealousy got the best of me. I care about you Bells, you know this. I just want what is best for you and the babies. And that Cullen guy is not it! He cheated on his wife and treated you like a whore. He doesn't deserve you! I told him to leave us alone…that we were going to be married and were very happy."

Why the hell would he do that? We were not even dating anymore. I knew he meant well but I could not keep someone in my life that would go behind my back like that. And he had lied to me by omission by not telling me anything about this.

"You know nothing about my relationship with Edward Cullen, Paul! I don't care what you think you know. It is none of your business…none! I need you to stop coming to see me…at least for a while. It is going to be hard for me to remain friends with you…but I need some time. Maybe after I have some space, we can resume our friendship…but right now, I just don't know."

He took a deep breath and then said, "Okay…I understand. I just want you to know that I am sorry. But I still think you deserve better…whether it's me or not. I'm not sure why I do what I do. Lord knows, I really don't think I am ready to settle down and be a father yet, myself. But if you weren't pregnant…I would be courting you relentlessly. You definitely deserve better than Cullen."

There was not much more that needed to be said between us right then. I gave him a small hug goodbye and told him I would talk to him soon after I had digested everything that happened.

When I made it back out to my car, I had many thoughts running through my mind.

Ever since I lost the call in the parking garage, my phone had not rung one time. That meant Edward had not tried calling me back.

We lost the call…why wouldn't he call me back if he so desperately wanted to speak to me like he said he did.

The rational part of me knew I needed to leave it alone. If he did not call back, this was a good thing. I could progress with my life and my babies' future without any involvement from Edward Cullen.

The irrational part of me greatly longed to hear his voice and find out exactly what he was so frantic to tell me.

My cell phone was in my hand with the familiar number facing me on the screen.

The question was…which part of my brain would I listen to?

The rational or irrational part?

Author's Note: You know what to do my pretties!

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