Story Eleven: Glass Walls I
First part of two. More story than smut.
"Can I stay here for the night, Miku? I don't want to be alone."
"Hey girl, where were you? I've been trying to call you!" Miku closed the door behind her as Kokoro stepped into the apartment.
"I...I just had to get away for a while." Kokoro replied, collapsing on Miku's bed, then covering her eyes with an arm.
"Does this have anything to do with Hitoshi?" Miku joined her friend on the bed and gently stroked Kokoro's hair.
Kokoro merely nodded her head.
"I thought you two broke up?"
"We did. He came back to return my things and pick up his stuff."
"So..." Miku sounded hesitant, trying to handle the situation as delicately as possible. Tact has never been her strong point. "So, did you have a relapse or something? I thought you're finally over him?"
Kokoro was silent for a while, then quietly answered. "I thought I was...but seeing him...with Mina kinda—"
"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec." Miku interrupted. "What does Mina got to do anything with this?"
"I walked in on them having sex in my room."
"The hell? That filthy whore of Satan!" Miku screeched, jumping out of the bed. "And you just ran away? Oh what I would give just to be the one to find them screwing in my bed. I would have burned the whole room while they were fucking!"
"Miku..."
"So then when that ugly fucker showed up here earlier asking for you, I should have just chased him away with a metal bat. I should have known sooner!"
"He was here?" Kokoro asked, confused.
"Yeah, dropped some of your stuff then said something along the lines of 'he's so sorry, didn't mean to hurt you' blah, blah. I thought he was talking about the breakup, not cheating on you with that ugly skank."
"He didn't cheat on me, Miku..." Kokoro murmured, looking away. "Hitoshi broke up with me before hooking up with Mina."
"They deserve each other." Miku said with a huff. "He dumped you to be with that primadonna from hell. Seriously, with all the girls in Cerasus, Hitoshi had to go with that one? Didn't he know about your history?"
"He did, but why would it matter? He needed the connections Mina's family will afford him." Kokoro sighed, wishing to just forget the whole thing.
She thought she'd been on the mend, hadn't even thought of Hitoshi for almost a month now, then he had to come and deliver a final blow. She didn't care for the stuff he'd returned, didn't want any reminders of the relationship that ended so abruptly, and in the worse timing. But then life is a bitch. Life decided she hadn't suffered enough and had to throw a vindictive bitch like Mina to rub in her face just how much she'd lost.
"Did they really have to fuck in your bed?" Miku muttered beside Kokoro. "I mean, what are they? Twelve? Nah, that can't be right, even little kids show more restraint. Mina just wanted to gloat, and that scumbag didn't have the balls to say no. Seriously, Koko, you dodged a bullet with that one."
It didn't feel that way right now, but Kokoro knew her friend was right.
One day at a time. She will surely forget him. She'd gone through worse. If anything, losing her father had made her stronger. If she could go through that, she could handle anything life throws at her.
"Aren't you glad you've never slept with that douche, huh?"
Kokoro blinked back tears. Was she glad or regretful she didn't? She'd loved Hitoshi, but hadn't felt ready. She had tried to muster her courage and finally have sex with him on her 18 th birthday, but then he dropped the news after the party.
"It doesn't matter now, Miku." Kokoro replied, "I've got to find a full time job soon."
"You're quitting school?" Miku gasped. "I thought your dad has already paid for college?"
"Yes, until I graduate, but that doesn't cover my daily living costs, like the townhouse. And there's mom who hasn't worked a day in her whole life. She'd lost dad, and her whole world has crumbled. I got to support her."
"Girl! Why didn't you tell me, I could ask my dad—"
"Miku you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I will never forget your kindness." Kokoro turned in the bed to wrap her arm around her friend. "But I can't let your family support my mom and I until I get through college."
"You're more than just my best friend, you're practically my sister!" Miku said, clearly a bit uncomfortable with the emotional words. "If you're too proud to accept help, then maybe you can just pay my dad back later."
"No more debts, Miku...that's how my dad lost everything. I've got to learn to stand on my own feet, it's going to be hard, but we'll be fine."
"At least let my dad help you find a suitable job." Miku insisted.
That made Kokoro pause and consider. Some of her father's associates had offered to help during the funeral, and she'd been planning to contact them for a job position, even though working for one of them would mean moving out of the city, leaving her mother alone in their old house.
"Thanks Miku. I'd really like that, especially if I don't have to relocate."
"Of course!" Miku replied, looking relieved. "I'll pester the old man to find you a job near your home or the university...in case you wanted to work part time and study?"
"I'll cross that bridge when I get there." Kokoro sat up and looked at Miku's desk. "For now, would you help me create my resume?"
"Let's get to it."
-o-
"I want this one." Mitsuru slid the folder over his desk to his assistant. "Tell Ayumi the position is filled."
"Sir, pardon my boldness, but there are others more qualified—"
"She's the only child of the late Ken Niwashi. She's been groomed from birth to take over her father's company, and isn't unfamiliar with business politics. She's perfect." He interrupted.
"But sir, I think she's too young for such responsibilities." The assistant managed to curb her tongue before she reminded him that the only reason Kokoro was being offered a position in the company was because one of the elder Mori's long time friends has asked for that favor. She'd expected Mitsuru, the successor and current president of the Mori conglomerate to give Kokoro a position at the reception desk at best, not as his personal assistant.
"I didn't hire you to think for me." Mitsuru said impatiently, making the assistant turn pale. "You're here to do as you're told. Now you better keep yourself in line, or you'll be the one searching for a position."
"I apologize for my rudeness sir. I—"
"Just go." Mitsuru dismissed her. "Tell Ayumi to set up Miss Niwashi's interview asap. I want to conduct the interview myself."
"Yes sir."
Mitsuru didn't bother looking up from his desk as the assistant walked out of his office. But he wasn't looking at another business proposal or reviewing any client contract. No, he was looking at Kokoro's picture from his laptop.
He couldn't shake her from his mind. Mitsuru had looked at another resume, at another profile of hopeful personal assistants just to appease his sense of 'fairness'. Those people were no doubt more qualified as Nanami, the assistant from earlier had insisted. But his brain would drift back to her.
The beautiful blonde with the bright, sky blue eyes. He wanted her like he hadn't wanted anything in like forever. Again, he was taken aback by his reaction to her. She wasn't really anything special. He'd had his share of women more beautiful than this one. So why?
An only child, Kokoro was no doubt doted upon by family. Born into luxury and loving, attentive parents, until recently, she had everything she could ask for. And now, here she was, applying for a job, joining the ranks of hopefuls seeking to be part of the working class.
The HR staff was probably baffled when he handled the hiring of his PA himself. This was something he never bothered with in the past. He had more important things to attend to than spend time selecting potential staff.
Yet here he was, leafing through her profile again as if he hadn't seen a woman in years. What was it about her that drew him? Though his father's friend had requested the favor ahead of her, Kokoro had personally handed in her resume to the HR department.
Mitsuru had been at the small cafe at the ground floor of the Mori main building, chatting with Goro, a business partner over coffee when she walked past them. A petite blonde woman, with enough curves to draw more than a few male attention, and lithe, slender legs. If she's anywhere near five four in height, he'd be surprised. She had actually applied for the position of assistant secretary. But he wanted her as his personal assistant. It was an irrational impulse, based on emotions rather than sound evaluation.
It's ridiculous, he shouldn't be like this, it's not like he's starving for sex, he'd never had trouble finding company for the night. He just didn't have the time to get tangled with the complications of a relationship, not when the occasional hook up had served his needs quite sufficiently. He ought to be disgusted with himself, still staring at Kokoro's photo like some besotted schoolboy stealing secret glimpses of his first crush. But he couldn't deny that he wanted her.
He'd set her interview next week, as early as he could squeeze in between his hectic schedule. But this, this he has got to see. He's going to interview her himself.
He needed to see her in the flesh, if only to prove to himself that she's nothing special, that he was just overreacting to her lovely face with that barest hint of vulnerability. Or he'll just have to concede that he's actually screwed.
-o-
A week later...
Today looked just like any other Monday morning. Busy. But this morning he was filled with zest, with eagerness he hadn't felt in a long time.
His office was located in Mori Tower, one of a cluster of three buildings. The main branch of offices were located at the penthouse of the tallest building and the few floors below it. The rest were rented out. The other two buildings were the company main hotel and shopping center.
On his way to his office, he greeted the people overseeing security with a nod as he passed through the massive double glass doors. A few distance away, sitting behind a white marble counter sat a petite brunette, Mitsuru tilted his head to acknowledge the receptionist's morning greeting and then navigated through the crowd.
A wall of glass a few feet away from the receptionist, separated a spacious section of the ground floor into the small cafe, the very one where he'd sat and first saw her. The tables were mostly empty at this time of day, as the people would often just pick up their drink or breakfast to go and then head for the elevators.
Mitsuru wasn't sure what caught his attention. Was it the flash of her blonde hair amidst the sea of black and gray suits, or the odd object sitting in front of her on the table, which he couldn't decipher at first glance?
Pausing abruptly, then changing direction, Mitsuru only realized he had made a detour when he stood right before her table.
In front of her were the remnants of her breakfast - crumbs of bread, a smear of butter, and a half finished cup of what looked like hot chocolate. But what occupied the rest of the table were strips and strips of newspaper.
She looked up at him in mid action, a folded strip of paper caught between her fingers. Her eyes looked huge, a brighter blue than what he'd seen in the picture.
"Oh, hi." She smiled as if they knew each other. "If you're looking for this morning's paper it's..." She turned her head and then pointed at an elderly man sitting a few tables away. "He's still reading it."
"What are you doing?" He asked, though he could see that she was making paper flowers, damn, but she already had made a bunch of them piled at the side. Seriously, he hasn't seen anyone crafting stuff except maybe in middle school.
A hint of pink colored Kokoro's cheeks, but she answered him without hesitation. "I...I got here two hours early, I have a job interview, but I overestimated the time."
"I see." Mitsuru murmured, though he was still bemused. "Mind if I sit here?"
"Oh no, please go ahead, if you don't mind the mess I've made." She hastily said.
Mitsuru looked up at the staff behind the cafe counter who was waiting for his instructions, he signaled for his usual cup of black coffee then sat down.
"Don't have to clear the table for my sake. I'm just here for coffee." He murmured as he placed his briefcase beside his left leg.
She insisted on making room for him, sweeping her paper flowers to the side, then offered her hand. "I'm Kokoro, by the way."
He looked at it for the briefest instant before reaching out. "Mitsuru." Her hand was small, delicate, completely engulfed in his bigger one.
"You have the most beautiful green eyes, Mitsuru." She stated with a smile. Then her eyes widened as she realized how forward she sounded. "I...I'm sorry, didn't mean to..."
He raised his hand to stop her. In truth, he was used to being complimented or insulted, but none has ever mentioned his eyes. 'The Shark'. That's what the media has nicknamed him, though he had taken extra measures to keep his profile and face away from the public eye. It wasn't surprising this sweet little girl didn't recognize him.
It didn't irritate him, on the contrary, he found it refreshing to have a normal conversation without his reputation preceding him.
"Do you work here, Mitsuru?" Kokoro asked curiously.
"You can say that." He murmured after a brief hesitation, not sure if he should tell her who he was.
"How about you? What made you pick this place to work for?" They both looked up as the manager of the cafe approached their table with his coffee. He nodded his thanks as the staff placed it in front of him and quietly left.
Kokoro hesitated, then shrugged her shoulders as if mentally deciding there's nothing to hide. "My father's company went bankrupt two years ago...then..." Her voice faltered, then stopped completely as she stopped herself from divulging more with this man she had just met. Her father's death was something she'll never be able to move on from.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to pry."
"No, you weren't...I just find it hard to talk about." Kokoro admitted. "Let's just say, I really need this job."
Mitsuru didn't like it when she's subdued, he already missed that bubbly girl she'd been earlier. He gestured at the floral paper bouquet she had assembled. "You have a unique hobby."
A small burst of laughter escaped her lips. "This? I really love flowers. We have this greenhouse at our backyard I tend to, the gardenia have come on really thick this summer."
Mitsuru tried to imagine what a gardenia might look like, but it was no use, he had never been interested in flowers.
"Do you know who runs this company?"
"I know the name, but not the face." Kokoro admitted sheepishly. "My father's business circle ran among the agricultural sector, Mr. Mori was more into software and robotics. I do know they have acquired a chain of hotels..."
His phone beeped once, a reminder of the video conference he would be holding in fifteen minutes. With a sigh of regret, he forced himself to cut their conversation short.
"Time for work?" Kokoro asked as he picked up his briefcase.
"Yes." Mitsuru answered, reluctant to leave her just yet. "It's a business contract I hope to secure today."
"I see." She reached for her handbag and began to dig into it. "Here." She said as she handed him a green omamori , a good luck amulet. "Hope your business deal goes well."
Mitsuru looked at the tiny brocade bag resting on his palm. He'd never been a superstitious person, but he couldn't decline her offering either. "Thanks Kokoro. Now I'm sure I'll seal the deal." He pocketed the charm, his lips edged with a smile. "I have nothing to give you back though."
"Oh, it's not—" She paused mid sentence as if realizing something. "Actually, I could settle for your number instead, if that's okay?" Her blush deepened, as if unable to believe her own audacity.
"My number?" He cocked his head to the side curiously. Was this just an elaborate ploy? Or was she hitting on him?
"Yes." Kokoro's smiled hesitantly, fingers unconciously curled into tight fists on the table. "I want you to be the first one to know if I got accepted. Then...maybe...maybe we can have coffee? My treat."
"Coffee would be great. But...shouldn't your mom know first?" He asked, taking out his pen to write at the back of his business card. He could be doing something really foolish, but at this point he was beyond caring. He liked her, liked her even more in person, and gave her his personal number, the one that very select few know.
"My mom would cry at the thought of me working." Kokoro sighed. "But, we can't go on living on my father's insurance money. Sooner or later it will be gone too, then we'll lose everything."
She wrote her number on the blank space of the business card and carefully ripped it into two halves. "This is mine. You can tell me how the conference went if you like."
"I'll do that." He replied, bemused. "I'll see you soon."
"Looking forward to it." Kokoro smiled brightly as she waved at him.
Mitsuru quickly realized it wasn't just politeness when he accepted the torn business card, not when he took out his phone the moment he'd stepped in the elevator and punched in her number as if afraid he might lose it. A part of him had thought that he'd shove it into his pants pocket and forget the whole thing, forget about her. But no.
He was simply—no other word for it—fucking fucked.
Mitsuru wanted to call her as soon as he got in the elevator but forced himself to stop. He didn't want to appear desperate, too eager, even though a part of him was scared she'd forget him soon after their meeting.
An hour later, he finally gave in and sent a text. Sealed the deal.
Her reply was almost instantaneous. I knew it! Congrats! But I'm not really surprised you cinched it.
Really? He couldn't help but smile. What makes you say that?
You have my lucky talisman. I knew it would help! ^o^
The emoji at the end almost made him laugh. Isn't it almost time for your interview?
I'm on my way there, riding the elevator right now.
She was so intent on texting him on the phone that she didn't see him standing a few feet away, with only glass walls separating them as she stepped out of the elevators.
About to meet the big boss. I didn't know he would be personally interviewing me. Hold my lucky charm and wish me well!
Mitsuru smiled then instead of sending her another message, decided to call her. "Kokoro, look up."
She had been staring at the screen of her phone all this time as she walked, eagerly waiting for his reply and seen the pleasure that brightened her face when her phone vibrated, the way her eyes lit up as she answered his call. Her head snapped up and she looked around until her gaze met his.
And there it was, that brilliant, bright smile again. He felt his chest tighten as he stood there and watched as she walked towards him, her pace quick, almost restrained, as if any moment she might break into a run to reach him. The sunlight filtered through from the giant glass windows and fell on her, turning her blonde hair into burnished pale gold. He had a sudden thought that he will never get tired of seeing it. The light to his darkness. My personal sunshine.
"What are you doing here?" Kokoro gushed as she briskly walked through the glass doors to stand close to him. "Have you come to cheer for me?" Her eyes danced mischievously as she looked up at him. "Must have sensed how nervous I really am, huh?"
"Mr. Mori, the contract is ready sir, I have placed it on your desk." A female staff spoke before he could.
He watched as her smile disappeared. Watched as confusion clouded her bright eyes. And he wished she didn't have to know about him this way. Wished he could turn back time to when he could introduce himself properly.
"This way, Kokoro." He murmured quietly, gesturing to the double doors that would lead to his office.
"You...you're Mr. Mori?" She stammered as she slowly followed him to the spacious office. It was bright, naturally lit with several floor to ceiling windows that offered a spectacular view of the city.
"Yes, that would be me." He murmured, as he sat behind his massive, rosewood desk. "Have a seat, Kokoro."
He didn't like the paleness of her skin, the apprehension that filled her blue eyes, or that nervous trembling of her lips. No, he didn't like seeing her afraid of him.
"I...I'm so sorry, sir. I...I didn't realize..." Kokoro apologized in a trembling voice.
"There's nothing to apologize for. I wasn't what you expected." Mitsuru murmured, smiling slightly.
"That's not...I mean..." Her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words.
He slid a piece of paper across the desk towards her and gestured at it.
"If you agree to everything written in the contract and don't wish to change a thing, just sign your name over here."
Kokoro struggled to keep her voice from squeaking. "A...a contract?"
"Yes. It's a temporary one though. For the next two weeks, you'll be trained and oriented to work with me, I have certain ways of running things, specific requirements. At the end of that period, if you've demonstrated a good capacity to adjust and accommodate to the demands as required from a personal assistant, you'll be signing another, more permanent contract."
"Th-thank you sir!" Kokoro gasped, unable to believe that he was giving her another chance despite her earlier behavior, she'd acted so familiarly with him. What must he have been thinking? "I...I will do my best sir!"
"Just Mitsuru is fine." He murmured, a quiet voice warned him that this was a breach in professionalism, but he quickly silenced it.
"But sir, I...I'm not sure it's appropriate." Kokoro said hesitantly.
He paused and studied her lovely face once more, and again felt his chest tighten. He didn't want her to be so formal with him, but she was right. She's one of his staff now, not just a girl he met at the cafe. "Very well. Nanami will help you with the rest. I expect you to join me for this afternoon's meeting, just to observe, get a feel of things."
"Yes, sir."
Just then the redhead Nanami knocked at the door before walking in. "Nanami, this is Kokoro." He introduced them, then looked at her. "Nanami will be showing you the ropes."
"Welcome to the Mori conglomerate, Ms. Niwashi." Nanami murmured formally, a bit stiffly. "Let me show you your desk."
Kokoro turned to Mitsuru and bowed her head. "I look forward working for you, sir."
"Likewise."
His eyes followed her as she walked out with Nanami, as if willing her to look back. But Kokoro kept her face rigidly set forward, denying him one last glimpse of her face.
Mitsuru sighed and rubbed his palm against his face. What the hell was he doing? How could he let himself be affected by a mere girl? He's beginning to question the wisdom of his own decision. She's too much of a distraction, and possibly posed a real threat to his peace of mind...and body.
There had been that. That intangible connection the moment their eyes met. Kokoro must have felt it too. At least until she pulled on that mask. But what was he to do? While he didn't forbade his staff from going out with each other, he'd placed a more rigid code on himself. His father had only one golden rule—Keep his hands off the staff. It hadn't been hard to follow, he'd always kept his distance, especially with those who worked directly under him. It was not only unethical, but placed the girl on extreme disadvantage, at the very least some awkwardness should his advances weren't welcome.
Mitsuru rubbed his forehead as if suddenly tired. He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing Kokoro again and he wanted her where he could always keep an eye on her that he'd all but ensured that she gets the position as his PA. But by doing so, she's now beyond his reach.
He'd never been this irrational, not even in his early teens. Just goes to show how fucked up in the head he really was right now.
-o-
Two weeks later...
"The big boss doesn't date company staff, and most especially those who aren't very...um, experienced. They said he prefered redheads too—that's not to say I'm not flattered. That's three strikes against you, sweetie. You'll have better luck with another man."
"I wasn't...I mean, I—" Kokoro stammered, almost choking on her own bite of sandwich.
"Uh-huh." Miku nodded as if she understood a word she'd said, then took a sip of her milk tea. "Might as well walk into the office with 'I love my boss' sign stuck in your forehead the way you've been mooning over him."
Kokoro was about to protest then thought better of it and just bent her head.
"His last PA overstepped and was transferred to another department. I'm telling you, if you want to keep this job, you better suppress the hormones." Miku began to chew noisily on her sandwich. "Mitsuru is kinda used to all sorts of women throwing themselves at him. I mean, why wouldn't they? He's not bad looking, he's generous with his staff, can just imagine how he spoils his women. And most importantly, he's filthy rich."
She didn't need any reminders just how far apart their worlds were. Her ex-fiance had left her when her family lost everything. Nothing personal, he'd said, but he needed the connections through marriage with an affluent family, something she could no longer give.
Kokoro had been deeply hurt at first, but forced herself to consider his side. After all, Hitoshi have higher ambitions, he wanted to enter the world of politics as well.
And Mitsuru, who was in a different league all of his own, was simply beyond her reach. She must accept this. Perhaps not right away, but soon, she got to learn to walk away from this path, there's nothing but heartbreak waiting for her at the end.
What will she do when he asks her to buy gifts for his new woman? How will she survive that without falling apart? That single heartwrenching thought was far worse that how she felt when she walked in on Hitoshi fucking another woman, the daughter of the man who basically took everything from her. What she felt for Mitsuru made her feelings for Hitoshi pale in comparison, almost like a mockery.
But somehow, she'll get through this too. At least she hoped so.
-o-
Two months later...
He didn't like how she was guarded and reserved around him. He wanted what they had on that morning they first met. When she still didn't know who he was. She was so open then, so carefree. Now she kept herself rigidly restrained. Sometimes he could almost feel how tense she was, like any moment she would snap in two.
Mitsuru was supposed to be working, reviewing contracts, monitoring the market. A dozen of decisions to be made. But he kept on glancing through the glass walls that separated his office from the rest. Kokoro stood talking with a few of his assistants. Kyou, who handled the company's real estate arm was standing close to her. Too close for Mitsuru's liking.
He cursed vehemently when he made another error on the spreadsheet. Unable to concentrate, his eyes kept getting distracted at the peripheral sight of Kokoro laughing with the other male staff as they took their coffee break.
Mitsuru clenched his jaw when Kyou leaned closer as if to whisper something in Kokoro's ear. But instead of canting her head to listen, she stepped back, keeping the distance between them. Mild disappointment crossed Kyou's face, but he good-naturedly respected her personal space and didn't press.
It wasn't good enough. Not nearly enough. Unable to control the impulse, Mitsuru rose from his chair and strode towards the office door.
"Kokoro...in my office please." Somehow he managed to speak calmly. But seeing her shoulders tense at his voice made him grit his teeth. How could she smile so sweetly at another man, but be so stiff and guarded with him?
He knew he was being unreasonable, Kokoro has always conducted herself professionally, but it did little to tamp down the frustration. Unreasonable or not, he couldn't help but resent the walls she'd put between them, he hated the invisible distance he couldn't quite breach.
So close, yet so far.
"You need something, sir?" Kokoro asked politely.
You. He almost blurted out but bit his tongue. Now that he'd called her here in his office, away from her male colleagues, he got to think of an excuse.
His eyes fell on the untouched cup of coffee on his desk that has gone cold. "I'd like a fresh cup." He inclined his head towards his desk.
If she thought that his request was odd, Kokoro didn't show any of it. "Certainly, sir." She said as she walked closer to his desk.
Her sweet, subtle scent drifted to him as she leaned to pick up the cup. Down, boy. He gritted his teeth as his pants tented.
He knew he was only torturing himself but he couldn't help it. His eyes traced the outline of her body as she stood with her back to him at the pantry. With regret, he noted that she'd twisted her glorious hair into another bun at the top when he longed to run his fingers through the lustrous locks...except, now her vulnerable neck was left exposed, and that turned him on even more.
The urge to plant his lips against her nape was even more stronger when he walked over to where she was and leaned his head over her shoulder, pretending to check what she was doing. In truth, he just wanted to breathe in her scent again, without invading too much of her personal space. God, she smelled so good. A hint of something floral, fruity...warmth and all woman.
Kokoro tensed up, her hand paused in mid action and only the swirling froth indicated that she had been stirring his coffee just a second ago.
There's no use denying that she's attracted to her boss, no way to stop the unruly desire to feel his hands on her, to...have him touch her. But she must never forget who he was, the big boss, and she's just his lowly assistant.
"How's your mother?"
That made her pause. Mitsuru has always been a tough boss, strict and unyielding when it comes to work. But times like this, when they're not out meeting partners or attending business events, he dropped the mask. Showing her the man she'd first met that morning at the cafe.
A part of her wished he wouldn't be like this, he s making it so much harder for her to keep her distance, making her believe, to hope that she had a chance when she knew too well there's none.
Perhaps simply, he's just like this with all his staff. Balancing things out. That's what she kept on telling herself. But was her heart listening? Big, fat no!
"The doctor said there's nothing to worry about. Just plenty of bedrest and her hip should heal quite nicely...although it won't be as good as before because of her age." She picked up the cup of coffee with its plate and turned to him. "I'm really sorry I won't be able to accompany you to Strelitzia." Ever since she'd joined the company, this would be the first time they worked apart.
"Don't worry about it, you've handled all the necessary paperwork. It will just be a couple of meetings."
He reached for the cup of coffee, his jaw clenching when she pulled her hand quickly as if burned when their fingers touched.
God, was this some sort of punishment? To desire a woman who didn't want him? Angry with himself, frustrated with her, Mitsuru turned away abruptly and headed back to his desk.
Perhaps it's about time he forgot about this weird fascination with Kokoro. It's been going on for far too long, and he hadn't had a single moment of peace ever since he'd seen her walk past him at the cafe. She'd been oblivious of him that day as well, while he...he was instantly hooked. Like a fool.
His chest ached with that particular longing that was both familiar and unnamed, it has become almost like a constant companion. Kokoro had looked so young, so vulnerable...but he tamped the emotions down, hardening his resolve. This just can't go on. For his own sanity's sake.
His eyes fell on his weekly organizer. A two week trip to Strelitzia city to check the progress of the new corporation building, to attend the grand opening of another hotel, a couple of business meetings with potential new partners, the acquasition of a new island resort. Perhaps, it's also time he went back to his usual haunts. A night or two between the sheets with a beautiful woman should do the trick, right? It should be enough to drive her out of system, and end this madness once and for all.
-o-
She missed him. Kokoro couldn't believe that only ten days has passed since he went away on that business trip. She missed the deep timbre of his voice, the hundred small ways he checked in on her, making sure she's not overwhelmed with the work load. How he made her feel so alive just by being in his presence.
God, she couldn't believe she got this so bad. No matter how much she fought the feelings off, it only grew stronger.
He hadn't called her much since the trip, except when he needed her to email some things. Kokoro chided herself, he's working and she's not his girlfriend. She should keep things professional between them.
But after two days of not hearing a single word from him, something inside her had snapped. She'd tried to call his number, such was her need for him, it had overriden all rational thinking. But much to her disappointment, Mitsuru has switched off his phone.
That didn't stop her from seeking contact. At the back of her mind, Kokoro thought she'd truly and finally gone crazy as she pressed the number to his assistant.
"Hello Miss Nanami? It's Kokoro. I'm sorry for disturbing you, but...I...I need to speak to Mr. Mori to clarify something..."
"He's out for dinner. Told me to take the evening off." Nanami replied. "Whatever it is, can't it wait till morning?"
"Umm, yes...sorry. Is he out to meet a client?" Kokoro couldn't help herself from asking.
"No." Nanami replied, impatience stamped every word. "It's not a business meeting, that's why I had the evening off."
Kokoro felt the world shatter at her feet. "Okay. Thanks." She ended the call before the other woman could speak.
Though she had no concrete proof, her woman's intuition was telling her he was out with another woman. She tried to calm her nerves, reminding herself that Mitsuru wasn't hers, that he's free to be with anyone he wanted. But that didn't stop her chest from tightening up, or from the tears from falling. She dialed another number, knowing that only one person can comfort her right now.
"Miku?"
"Hey, girl." Her friend sounded breathless, voice throaty. "About to have my purse eaten right now...this better be good."
"Oh god." Kokoro gasped, the unbidden mental image had her laughing awkwardly despite her wretched emotional state. "It's nothing...just..."
"I don't remember telling you to stop." Miku suddenly yelled, "No, not you, Koko. That's for Zorome. Is everything alright?"
Though she needed a friend right now, Kokoro didn't want to impose too much. Miku has done so much for her already, she just can't keep on running to her every time her life fell apart. "I'm fine. Let's talk tomorrow."
"Okay girlie, see you soon. Love ya!"
"Love you too."
There's only one place left for her. The greenhouse.
Dropping her phone on the bed, Kokoro rushed out of her room. She'd felt exactly like this two years ago, when her father collapsed and they couldn't revive him. The walls have closed in and she'd felt trapped, cornered but somehow found the strength to carry on, one second at a time.
The flowers were muted at this hour, but the gardenia filled the greenhouse with its sweet scent.
The greenhouse designed like a giant birdcage was built alongside the house and she'd fallen in love with it from the moment she could lift her first watering can. The blooming flowers and greenery has always given her a measure of peace. This has always been her hiding place, her place of refuge.
But tonight, it was doing little to ease the ache that had lodged in her chest. Why must life be so cruel? To dangle everything she'd ever wanted across a wide chasm she could never cross?
"I thought I'd see you here."
The voice made her head snap at the entrance.
"What are you doing here?" She gasped, clutching her throat in shock.
"I just thought I'd come and see you...see how you're doing." Hitoshi murmured, his brown eyes looking sheepish.
She hadn't seen him since that late evening in her old apartment. It felt like a lifetime ago.
"I don't have anything to say to you." She has little patience for any more games right now, not when her sanity was on the brink of snapping. And Hitoshi was the last person she wanted to see, not when she's like this.
"Wait! Please hear me out." He blocked her way out of the greenhouse, he had shadows beneath his eyes and looked uncharacteristically tired as if he hadn't slept for days. Concern for his well-being made her pause. Hitoshi may have dumped her, but they've known each other since they were kids and despite everything, she did care for him.
"I broke up with Mina. She...she, well I..." He stammered, clearly unsure how to start."I know I messed things up...but...I've never been the same without you. Everything I do, no matter how hard I tried...I just can't seem to forget you."
The words made her breath snag at the throat. Kokoro didn't know what she expected him to say, but this...this wasn't it.
"I know you still care for me, Kokoro." Hitoshi said softly, holding out his hand, palm up. "Please give me another chance to redeem myself, to set things right..."
Another chance? She thought, almost hysterical. Memories of their time together played in her mind, happier days, fun, carefree...like the whole world was theirs for the taking.
Her thoughts racing, Kokoro looked at his offered hand and knew what she had to do.
-o-
He'd never felt lonely. Especially in the company of someone so beautiful and alluring. But Mitsuru found himself feeling exactly that.
He was sure that the lady in front of him was witty and charming, but he couldn't focus on the conversation, her words kept flying over his head.
His thoughts kept returning to sky blue eyes that could turn almost black with emotions. Of soft laughter that could lift up his mood. He'd tried to keep her out of his thoughts, out of his head, but like water slipping through fingers, Kokoro always managed to get right back in.
It's hopeless. He groaned inwardly, finally accepting that no other woman can fix this. He may find physical relief, but it will be temporary, wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of his soul deep need.
Rather than subjecting himself and his companion more awkwardness, Mitsuru ended the dinner date. He felt off kilter, unsure and completely lost. It was like the whole world has become a strange place.
He found himself ditching his driver, strolling in the park in the park instead, with no planned destination, hoping to collect his thoughts, find some semblance of control, a way out of this madness when his phone rang.
"Dad?"
"Hey son, I heard the news about the merger, just called to congratulate you."
"Thanks." The conversation went on about the general catch up and matters pertaining to business. But as the old man was ready to end the call, Mitsuru forced himself to ask the question he'd been dreading.
"Dad...when you first met mom, what was it like?"
There was a slight pause on the other end before his father replied. "Ah, so we're having that conversation now?"
"Please, dad." He'd shoved his fingers through his hair, extremely uncomfortable with the topic, but he was at the end of his rope.
There was silence at the other end, his father's surprise almost palpable. Then, "You really got this bad. Never thought I'd see the day."
He didn't want any more reminders of how deep a spell Kokoro has weaved around him, but the more he fought against it, the more tangled he got it seemed.
"Just tell her how you feel, son. Stop running."
How he feels? When he didn't understand it himself? "Thanks dad, I'll call you later."
He wasn't sure what to tell her, but there's one thing he's sure of. He needed to see her. See Kokoro. Whatever this is, the aching chasm that has lodged in his soul got to stop. And he couldn't bear to be apart from her for another day. Fuck that, he couldn't wait another minute.
Mitsuru looked at his phone and made a call. "Nanami, I'm heading back to Cerasus. Take care of things here." One of the perks of having a private jet was that he didn't need to reserve a plane ticket and could just go anywhere, anytime he desired.
"But sir, what about the meeting tomorrow?"
"Handle it. Just make sure the amendments to the contract is in place before they sign anything."
He cut the call without waiting for her reply, retracing his steps back to the main road and called his driver.
-o-
The hour was already late, half past midnight. But here he was, standing at the doorstep to Kokoro's home. She hadn't answered any of his calls, her phone just kept ringing then going to voice mail.
The house was dark, empty, her car wasn't in the garage. Where could she be? At the hospital, with her mom?
Frustrated beyond belief, Mitsuru directed his driver to take him to the office, with the way he's feeling right now, sleep would be impossible.
He refused to consider that Kokoro was out with someone, therein lies madness, a slippery slide to the pit of insanity. He will see her tomorrow, that's what he kept repeating to himself, but waiting a few more hours felt like he's facing eternity.
He'll bury himself with work, anything to keep him busy, his mind occupied, anything that would keep those unwanted thoughts at bay.
He didn't expect to see anyone at his floor when he stepped out of the elevators, but the moment he saw the lights brighter than they should be, he immediately knew he wasn't alone.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was...I was about to leave, sir." Kokoro said softly at the end of the short hallway that would lead to his office. She didn't expect to see him, and for a moment wondered if she's seeing things. When Mitsuru walked closer and indicated that they talk in his office, Kokoro was both relieved and agitated. Had he walked in not five minutes earlier, he would have caught her in his chair, nuzzling the jacket he'd left in the office. She'd missed him so much, she had resorted to comfort herself with his scent. A blush tinged her cheeks at how desperate she'd become.
"Were you working on something?" Mitsuru asked as he loosened up his tie and went to grab a bottle of water from the small fridge. This was his chance. He didn't know how or why fate dealt him this opportunity but he wasn't about to squander it.
"I received an offer from Chlorophytum Industries."
That didn't come as a surprise, he had personally arranged for it with Ikuno, one of his business partners. "Are you going to accept it? It's closer to your home and—"
"You knew about the job offer?" Kokoro interrupted, realization dawning in her face. "You're sending me away."
"I am." He didn't bother to deny it, the words a blow to her heart. He wasn't just sending her to a different department, he's sending her to a different company.
Kokoro closed her eyes as the world began to reel. "Why?" Why would he do this? She thought she'd been doing her job sufficiently, there had been minor hiccups the first few weeks, but she had coped, had adjusted...had he seen her true feelings? Is that why?
"It's simple. I don't want to be your boss anymore." Mitsuru murmured, hands in his pockets giving him a casual air, but there was nothing relaxed in the way he was looking at her as he walked closer.
Kokoro felt her throat close, unable to form a single word, caught by the sheer magnetism of his movements, smooth, graceful...reminding her of one of those big cats. Sleek but powerful. Lethal.
She stepped back as he got closer, and even then he didn't stop, following her until she had cornered herself at the front of his desk. Her eyes were huge as he caged her against the smooth wood, hands slammed at either side of her hips, cutting off escape.
"I can't do this anymore." He said in a low voice, almost a growl, his face just a few inches away from her own. "I just can't keep on watching other men hitting on you while I'm forced to stand by the side and do nothing. So tired...I'm so fucking tired of other people wanting you, of those men trying to get you into bed." He paused as he saw the shock on her face. He laughed, the sound completely deprived of humor. "You think I haven't noticed? You think I haven't seen how their eyes followed you around? But you don't even see me as a man."
"What?" Kokoro gasped, her head was spinning, she wasn't sure she heard him right. Was she dreaming? This...this felt so unreal.
"Me." Mitsuru murmured, "I want you to see me. Not as your boss, but as a man. Your man."
Still too shocked to grasp the gravity of his words, Kokoro could only mutter, "Then why would you...send me away?"
He made a frustrated sound and spun around, heading to the pantry. "I won't take 'No' for an answer." He muttered, pulling open a cabinet door where a small selection of hard drinks were stocked. "As my assistant, you'd feel conflicted to refuse me, considering your circumstances. But I don't want that. You're free to deny me...but that doesn't mean I'd stop from pursuing you."
"So you're sending me to another company so you could...pursue me?" He was standing with his back to her, and she couldn't see his face, could only see the slight tremble in his fingers as he pulled a shot glass and poured himself a drink.
"That's right. Another man might not care if you're his staff, or asked you out under duress, but..." He released a sharp breath, then finished his drink with one gulp. "I'm not any better than them...but Kokoro, this is the only level field I can give you."
He turned to face her then, and she sucked a breath at the sight. In his agitation, he had messed up his hair, the dark locks falling over his face, making him look younger, less harsh.
He walked closer, his face resolute, set on making her understand that he was at his breaking point, then paused as he finally noticed the wetness on her cheeks.
He could handle anything, could wrestle a bear single handed the way he was feeling, but her tears defeated him. "Why...why are you crying?" His hands trembled as his thumbs rubbed her cheekbones gently. "Please stop. Don't cry...I can't watch you cry!"
Kokoro tried to smile, but it was shaky as she reached up to curl her fingers around his wrists. "Because...I missed you so much."
"What?" It was his turn to be shocked.
It was almost strange to see a man so powerful look so...unsure. This man, who could have any woman he wanted.
"Are you sure about me?" Kokoro asked softly, lowering her eyes. "I don't have much to offer." She wanted to kick herself the moment the words were out. Why can't she simply be happy that he wasn't turning her away?
His features hardened. "Are you saying I don't know what I want?"
"And what is it that you want?" Common sense told her she should be careful. She was devastated when Hitoshi left her, and looking back now, it was more of a hurt pride than anything. But Mitsuru? If the ten days without him is any indication, he'll tear her apart.
"You."
"I...I don't do casual, sir."
"My name. Call me by my name."
"Mitsuru." Her voice shivered against the caress of his thumb. "I'm not cut to play games."
"What makes you think I am?" His voice lulled her, soothed her, drawing her deeper into his spell.
"You...aren't?" Her eyes told him of her disbelief, and he almost groaned.
"Not with you...not when every bit of me is involved, there's simply no room for games. Not when too much is at stake."
She didn't know what to say, the intensity of his gaze, the warmth of his fingers as he cupped her face rendered her speechless.
"You said you missed me."
Kokoro could only nod her head, compelled to meet his eyes.
"How much?"
God his lips, so close now to hers, all she had to was lift her chin to kiss him. So great was the temptation she almost gave in, but his eyes told her he's waiting for his answer,
A part of her wanted to save face, to keep her pride. But honesty compelled her to speak nothing but the truth. "Like...like dying everyday."
There was a startled breath, as if he wasn't expecting such answer. Then he lowered his head, fingers sliding deeper into her hair, holding her still as his mouth descended, covering hers, kissing her as if he was starving for her. As if he had been starving for years.
Mitsuru groaned at her taste, the sound almost disbelieving that it would be like this, as if the sudden explosion of need, of pleasure was totally unfamiliar to him. He held her still while his kiss became rougher, more demanding, assaulting her out of sheer animal need—biting, licking, invading her...fucking her mouth with a tongue that wouldn't let her kiss him back, wouldn't even let her breathe. Kokoro could only submit to him, open herself to him, a soft sound of pleasure escaping her swollen lips as every stroke of his tongue drove her need higher.
"You...you will never be without me again." Mitsuru murmured when he finally pulled back to let her breathe.
When he would have stepped away from her, Kokoro tightened her arms around his waist.
"Release me, sweetheart...my control isn't the best right now."
She shook her head, reluctant to let go. Was she going crazy? Aren't they going too fast?
"Kokoro...if we don't stop now, I probably never will." She could hear the restraint in the hoarse timbre of his voice, felt it in the vibration of his tense body, how he was fighting back the impulse, his desire not to rush her, no matter how much he wanted to.
And she wanted him too. So much, she needed him, this gentle beast of a man. They've been circling each other for too long. From the day they met. "Please..."
"I want you so much. You have no idea...I tried to ignore you, tried to drive you out of my system, but nothing worked. I can't stop wanting you."
"Then don't." She whispered against his lips, "Don't stop."
"The desk." Mitsuru gestured towards it, voice deep, guttural. "Sit."
His lips stole the confused sound she made, hot, soft and possessive. She was helpless against his demands, opening to him, a sigh of surrender drifted from her mouth to his. This, this was quickly becoming familiar territory, the pleasure of his tongue swiping across hers, his teeth nibbling her lower lip in carnal promise.
He released her only long enough so she could perch at the edge of the desk, his hands caressed her face, her neck...then her breasts. Kokoro gasped, nothing could prepare her for this, for the sizzling electricity that shocked her as he gripped the edges of her shirt and yanked, sending buttons tumbling down the floor, exposing her.
There was no awkward fumbling or pretentious admiration as he unclipped her bra and pushed it out of the way. Only possession. He cupped her breasts, feeling their weight against his palms.
"Bigger than they looked." Mitsuru murmured, then frowned as he saw the embarrased flush that stained her chest. "It's not a complaint." He captured a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, gently squeezed her. "You're fucking perfect."
His mouth drew her nipple in before she could respond, flicking the tip with his tongue, back and forth, over and over until she whimpered in shock. Her hand reached out to grip the edge of the desk, as if seeking to anchor herself.
She could only stare at the top of his head, hair all messed up as he marked a blazing path of openmouthed kisses across her chest...and she felt conquered. Every touch of his lips, every brush of his tongue felt like he was mapping her body, owning her. So intense, so thorough, she wondered if there will be any part left for her.
The warmth of his mouth enveloped her other nipple and Kokoro shivered as her eyes closed. "Oh, god."
"Lean back," He said, kissing the tip of her breast, the movement of his lips an indescribable tease against her nipple. "Palms on the desk."
She obeyed him without thinking, realizing a moment too late that the position only pushed her breasts forward, like a silent offering.
Kokoro felt vulnerable like this, unable to move, her hands trapped by the task of balancing herself...exposed and completely helpless for him to touch, to lick and suck. To bite.
"Mitsuru!" She gasped as he caught her nipple between his teeth and growled. "No, please!" Kokoro whimpered, momentarily scared that he would follow the low grumble with the promised action.
His low, wicked chuckle quickly eased her fears, followed by the softest kiss against the tip of her breast. She was quickly getting drunk by his touch, by his caresses, held captive by his desire.
Then his hand gently cupped the soft flesh between her legs, and the whole world shattered. "Take this off."
Kokoro looked at him hesitantly, her hand glided at her hip, thumb hooking into the elastic waist of her panties. "Mitsuru...I..." Though she tried to hide how nervous she was, the slight trembling gave her away. Unable to finish the sentence, red heat crept up her chest and burned her cheeks. What if he doesn't like what he sees?
His harsh groan was pure agony. "I'm this close...just one breath away from bending you over the desk and fucking you raw. But I want to taste you first, so take this off. Right. Now. Do it before I give in."
Taste her? He chose an odd word for kissing, Kokoro thought, then blushed hotter at the realization he wasn't talking about her lips or her breasts. He wanted to taste her down there.
She shook her head, because that was different. Her mouth, her breasts...she'd allowed him to take without token resistance. But this, this is too intimate. "No...no...not there." She covered herself as if the flimsy shield was enough to deter him.
"Kokoro, let me see." Let him see? When she had never seen herself down there?
"Mitsuru..." She couldn't meet his eyes, but if she hesitate now, she knew he would stop and she didn't want that. With shaky fingers she unzipped her skirt and slid it off with her panties. All the while she could feel his eyes on her, could hear the way his breath stuttered as she slowly parted her thighs.
"Christ." Mitsuru groaned, the sound harsh in the silence of the room broken only by the rapid beats of her heart throbbing in her ears. "All the way, Kokoro...let me see your pretty cunt."
Embarrassment made her press her legs back together, but he shook his head slowly, silently commanding her to show herself until every part of her was exposed. All his. She belonged to him, and somehow that knowledge gave her the strength to spread her knees.
A shudder shook his frame and his voice has gone hoarse, almost unrecognizable. "God, Kokoro. That pussy. So pink, so fucking wet."
She couldn't stop shaking, felt utterly vulnerable by her position, by his commands, felt naked, exposed by his will. And he hasn't even touched her yet. This, this must be what it meant to be owned by someone.
He pushed her legs apart, exposing her to the cool office air, his eyes glittered into almost intense green slits as he spread her open as wide as her body would allow. "So pretty." He murmured, almost to himself, and then his body loomed in front of her, the crisp, expensive fabric of his suit startlingly harsh against her bare skin. She was naked, and he's completely covered. Vulnerable, defenseless, while he was inpenetrable, formidable.
A soft cry escaped her lips as blunt fingers gently touched the slit at her center. Nothing's ever been inside there. Not a man. Not fingers. Not even a toy.
"Do you touch yourself?" Mitsuru asked in a low voice.
Embarrassment colored her cheeks, but Kokoro nodded her head.
"Like this?" He asked, squeezing her clit between his thumb and forefinger, the same way he had first touched her nipple. It felt too intense at first, almost painful, but the burn quickly turned to pleasure.
It was a struggle to speak, not when he continued to torment the sensitive nub. "No...more like...circles."
He rubbed a circle around her clit, and Kokoro bucked into his hand. "Mitsuru!"
"Right here." He murmured, his voice low, dark with promise. "I'm going to taste you right here, rub your clit with my tongue...do you want that, sweetheart?"
"I...I don't know." Kokoro admitted in a breathless whisper, shivering as he knelt between her parted legs, his breath hot and rapid against her inner thighs. "Oh god."
The first touch of his lips on her clit made her jump. Though she knew what he wanted from her, the slide of his tongue still came as a shock. She cried out in helpless surrender and he growled his approval.
His hand kept her still and steady as he nibbled his way around her clit. Then he dipped lower, licking her in that slow and intense way that had her toes curling against the sides of the desk.
"God, your taste." Mitsuru groaned, pausing. "I can do this forever." Then he sucked her clit back into his mouth, and Kokoro couldn't stop the tiny scream that escaped her throat. God, what was he doing to her? Turning her own body a stranger to herself. She'd thought he would be repulsed, not urgent as if he was starving for her taste.
Every stroke of his tongue pushed her higher, winding her tighter and tigher until she was rocking into his mouth. She had an orgasm before, by her own hand but this felt so different, so uncotrollable.
Release came, intense and sweet, making her tremble, helpless to stop the rush of wet warmth he greedily lapped up like precious elixir.
"Again." He muttered, lips grazing her clit. Then he scraped her tender flesh with his teeth, and she was helpless to do anything but obey, gasping his name again and again, in time with the rhythm of his tongue, a beat that throbbed in her head, in her throat, in the hungry clenching of her intimate flesh where she craved for him.
His tongue circled her clit, stroking her, sending her higher and higher. Fire overtook her, flames licking her skin. She bucked against his mouth, incoherent sounds escaped her pleading mouth.
It's too much, too hard. Too good. He didn't show her any mercy, rubbing her clit with an intensity that wrung her out. Her orgasm twists and twists, coiling tighter and tighter until her muscles ached and could only scream when release came, flooding her with pleasure so sublime, so sharp she thought she'd shattered into thousand brightly colored pieces.
Her eyes snapped open as she felt herself being lifted up. Mitsuru didn't speak a word, just carried her in his arms as if she weighed nothing. She nuzzled against his throat, taking in his warm, clean scent, smiling at the sharp intake of breath he made, the sudden trembling of his body. At least, she's not the only one affected.
He carried her past the small pantry, to the private room at the back of the office where he sleeps when he worked overnight.
She felt suddenly and inexplicably shy as he laid her down on the bed, the urge to hide under the covers almost overpowering.
Mitsuru kept his gaze on her as he straightened up and pulled off his clothes. God, he's such a glorious specimen of a man. Lean but muscular, the body of an athlete rather than a bodybuilder. There's an ache, a feeling of tightness whenever she thought of him, of that dark hair always brushed back to sleek perfection, of those broad shoulders that suit a man of power...but to see him in the flesh? There's no use pretending she's not in awe of him.
Her breath stuttered, torn between curiousity and nervousness as his hands unbuckled his belt, the soft swooshing sound of his pants hitting the floor was loud in her ears, and she couldn't look away, even if she tried as he stood before her completely naked. Oh god, how will he fit? Her thoughts began to race, even as a part of her was suddenly unsure, confidence deserting her.
The bed dipped as he joined her, sliding his hips between her thighs, her breasts brushing against his chest as he supported his weight on his forearms.
"You let me do this...you're mine. There's no going back." He murmured against her lips, soft, gentle kisses that were at odds with the dark hunger of his green eyes, with the heavy, blunt flesh nudging at her entrance.
"I love you Mitsuru."
"God." He groaned, his expression pained as if she had delivered him a blow. "I'm supposed to say it first."
She tasted herself on him as he kissed her, tongue sliding in to stroke her, but nothing could prepare her as he began to inch inside. The feeling of being spread open to him, helpless to stop the invasive, hard press of his cock both excited and alarmed her. Kokoro rolled her hips against him, the action borne out of instinct. She wanted him. Wanted this.
She sucked in a sharp breath as he continued to push inside, her hands gripping his arms as pain began to build. She was not sure he would fit...wasn't sure she could take him.
"Kokoro?" He went completely still, pressed against a barrier he hadn't expected. His heartbeat doubled and redoubled. God, he had thought she was just shy, that it had been a while, had seen her turn down advances one after the other. He knew she was engaged before...so how?
But there was no denying the tight constriction that resisted him. He saw her wince when he tried to press deeper, knew that there's no way around this.
"Baby, this will hurt." He'd always avoided virgins, preferred women with experience, who knew exactly what they wanted, how to give and receive pleasure...but god, he's now strangely possessive.
"I know." Kokoro whispered, closing her eyes.
He ought to slide his fingers first, feel her hymen break and tear, prepare her for a penetration that was deeper, more invasive. But he wanted to claim her with his cock...not his damn fingers. Christ. He can't hurt her, it will rip him apa—
"Just take me." She invited softly, as if sensing his inner struggle.
"Sweetheart." His breath was so warm against her temple, voice shaky, then his muscles tensed, she felt it between her legs. That was the only warning she got before she felt him thrust deeper, penetrating through the tight resistance, a sharp pain stretched her open.
Kokoro flinched, then buried her face against the crook of his neck, her body protested the unfamiliar intrusion, tried to push him out, resisting his presence but helpless to stop him.
"So tight." Mitsuru groaned, his expression almost as pained as hers, his struggle to stay still evident in the tension in his muscles. "Can't hold back any longer." The thread by which he clung to control snapped and he was moving, moving deep.
She whimpered at the intrusion, the unbearable stretch of her tender flesh around his unforgiving entry. Her inner muscles fluttered and clenched, resisting his penetration every inch of the way, she couldn't relax them even if she wanted to. The burn was too much, the stretch too wide. He's so hard, he reached too deep.
"Just a bit more." Mitsuru said in a low, hoarse voice.
That's when she realized he wasn't even all the way inside. "I can't!" She gasped, pained eyes looking up at him with a plea. "I can't take more."
Their foreheads touched as he leaned low to kiss her softly. "Yes you can, baby...your body is designed to take me."
He withdrew and pushed in again, body straining to go farther. "Baby...let me in."
"How much more?" She gasped, it felt like he's impossibly deep. How do people do this?
"About...halfway in." His voice was harsh, and she could see the strain of holding back in the ripples of his tense muscles, resisting the urge to thrust all the way in was taking its toll on him.
He pulled back. A brief moment of respite, a feeling of emptiness, a reminder of that secret space he'd claimed. Then he was deep inside, so deep, his invasion thorough, so absolute she thought he was spliting her apart. Her soft flesh pulsed around his cock, shocked anew at the size of him, the thickness.
"God, Kokoro." He groaned, "Feel so good, baby..."
She reached up to touch his trembling lower lip, felt the sharp intake of breath he made at the contact. "You're so deep." Kokoro whispered, "So deep inside me."
Mitsuru tried to smile, shaking his head in disagreement, then cupped the back of her neck with one hand, her hip with the other, then changed the angle, tilting her so that her legs parted wider, her pussy canted toward him.
His next thrust reached all the way inside, and she could only gaze up at him, see his pupils dilate, turning his eyes almost black, his groan harsh and almost pained as hers. "God, Kokoro...baby, you're all around me."
Mitsuru lowered his head to kiss her chest, as he waited for her to adjust, brushing his lips against her breasts. Their eyes met as he traced circles around her nipple with the tip of his tongue.
"I want to taste you." He whispered in a rough voice, "but I just can't let this pussy go."
She followed his eyes down, between their bodies. Kokoro blushed harder as she caught sight of the place where they were joined, even as she watched, he withdrew, showing her how thick he was, how wide he stretched her flesh open.
Then he pushed back into her core, hitting a spot inside that made her back arch, her head bend back, breath hissing through clenched teeth in audible shock.
"That's it, sweetheart." He groaned, he flicked his tongue across her lips, and she opened to him, letting him slide inside, licking her, tasting her.
Kokoro moaned into his mouth as his fingers sought her clit, light and gentle, slipping through wetness as he drew tight circles around the sensitive bud. He kissed his way down her neck as she shivered and called his name as she climaxed.
"Oh god." She didn't know how to react when he withdrew his fingers from her clit and put them in his mouth, sucking her taste from them.
His eyes fell shut, ecstasy clear in his sigh. "So good. I want to eat you until you can't move a single muscle." Then his eyes sheared straight into hers, the promise in them dark, and primal. "Playtime is over, sweetheart."
He spread her thighs wider with his palms, pushing her knees high. The invasion was wide and fast, and she could only let out a surprised gasp as that long, hard cock stretched her open. Her feet weren't even on the bed anymore, raised by the angle of her legs as he pressed her knees higher, lifting her hips for every thrust, levering her at the angle that would give the most friction, the most pleasure for his cock.
He wasn't giving anymore—not this time. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Kokoro...Kokoro...baby..."
He plunged again, thudding against that sensitive point inside her, and she could only gasp his name, hands clenching on his shoulders, desperate for some anchorage as she was swept away by the storm of wild sensation, every rock, every twitch of his body sent shivers of pleasure bursting through her. It coiled ever tighter, sharper until she was mindless on the end of his cock. Orgasm crashed through her, violent, turbulent, never-ending as her soft flesh contracted and pulsed around him.
Kokoro couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. It was simply too much. This must be what he meant when he said she's his. The complete possession of her body, the takeover of her mind. Nothing existed anymore but him, the sound, the scent, the feel of him inside her.
"So good." Mitsuru groaned more breath than voice. "So fucking good."
She saw the moment all his control snapped, the agonized need etched in his face, felt his rhythm falter, then a thrust so deep as his cock pulsed liquid heat into her.
He drew out their orgasm, fucking her with a cock that was still stiff, stroking her slick softness with lazy thrusts, pushing his cum deeper. He didn't roll off her but pressed her down harder on the mattress. It wasn't a mistake, or from fatigue that he covered her body this way. It was an animal signal, as primal and ancient as time itself, a testament that she was his.