Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters.

Author's Note: HUGE shout out & thank you to my beta dolphin62598 for getting these chapters back to me so quickly! And another big thanks to my pre-reader teacher1209 for reading over these and giving me her thoughts! Another BIG shout out and thank you to LunaEclipse17 for creating the kick ass banner for this story! You can check it out on my Facebook page. I also have other pics posted for this story in an album called A Lie Upon Your Lips on my Facebook page. Now…on with Edward! Song Inspiration for this chapter: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic

Chapter 12

EPOV

Stop and Stare

Over the next several days, I continued sending Bella text messages. I also called both her cell phone and her house phone leaving messages at both places.

Yes to some, my behavior made me seem like quite the stalker. However, I could not help myself. I had to make her hear me out. She had to understand my feelings for her. She meant the world to me and I would do anything to make her realize that.

She had not responded to any of the messages I sent her. I was beyond frustrated with this woman. I knew my actions had caused all of this but it still left me feeling hopeless where our future was concerned.

Regardless, I continued to try contacting her on a daily basis. Something was pushing me not to give up on us just yet.

In the back of my mind, the one thing still nagging me was how I would handle the children and being a step-father. That issue was always present. I wanted to drop everything and run to Phoenix to grovel at Bella's feet. But she would never even consider taking me back or letting me be in her life if I could not promise her I was in one-hundred percent with both her and her children.

I felt a pang in my heart every single time I referred to the twins as her children. What was that feeling? It had to mean something surely that it made me uncomfortable to say the least to call them that.

I began to question why I always thought that I would not want to ever be a dad. My dad was amazing and always made it a point to tell me how happy he was that I was his son.

Did I really care about the mess as much as I thought I did?

Probably not…messes could be cleaned.

Did I really care about giving up my freedom?

Probably not…if I had Bella…would it really matter in the long run?

So many thoughts were plaguing my mind until something happened that made me completely change my mind about children.

This morning started off like all the rest, I woke up, showered and dressed, went to work.

When I arrived at the emergency room, Leah handed me a chart and told me I needed to see a very sick little girl in room seven.

Her fever was very high and she was complaining of sore throat and her ears hurting. The father brought her in due to the high fever. When he left their house, it was 103 and was not going down.

When I walked into the room, I was immediately stunned.

The little girl appeared to be about four-years old. Her father was sitting on the table with her on his lap. Her head was nestled into her father's chest and her breaths were even. He leaned down, kissed the top of her head ever so gently and whispered to her that all would be okay now that the doctor was here.

It was a tender moment between father and daughter that hit me like a ton of bricks. I saw myself wanting something like that.

But the thing that stunned me the most was this beautiful little girl. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes…Bella.

That could have been me…with a daughter created by Bella and me.

This little girl was truly extraordinary. I decided I should probably stop standing there daydreaming and talk to them.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen. I understand we have a little girl in here not feeling well."

Her father spoke, "Yes, doctor. Her mom and I work opposite shifts since we cannot afford daycare. She woke me up this morning saying she did not feel good. I felt her forehead and she was burning up. I took her temperature and it was 103. She also says her ears hurt her badly and that it hurts for her to swallow."

I nodded. "What's your name sweetheart?"

"Claire…I'm four."

Her voice was quiet and tiny. It was hard to understand her since she would not turn her head from her father's chest, but I heard her perfectly. She was beautiful. She reached out her hand and showed me four fingers proving how old she was. My heart felt so full in this one moment and I was jealous of Claire's father. What a lucky man. He looked as if he had his whole world in his arms holding his daughter. Everything about this father and daughter had me reeling. I watched them both very carefully. The dad looked down at his little girl as if she were the most precious thing in the world to him. She looked back up at him as if she loved him more than anything. Her big brown eyes were full of warmth, admiration, love, and trust for her father.

Everything about this father and daughter had me reeling. I watched them both very carefully now taking in every movement. The dad looked down at his little girl as if she were the most precious thing in the world to him. She looked back up at him as if she loved him more than anything. Her big brown eyes were full of warmth, admiration, love, and trust for her father.

God help me…I wanted that. I wanted a little girl to look up at me, trust me and love me as much as this little girl did her father.

I wanted a son to teach things to and play ball with who would be his mother's pride and joy.

I had never felt the need to reproduce more than I did in that moment. I needed children…I needed to become a father. It would make me the happiest man in the world to find out I was going to be a father one day…the sooner the better.

I ran the appropriate tests and checked her over thoroughly. It turned out Claire had a severe ear infection and strep throat. I gave them the prescriptions needed and brought her a Popsicle.

When I handed it to her, she rewarded me with a huge smile and a small, "Thank you."

I released her and set off to find my father. I knew what I wanted to do and I needed him to tell me it was the right thing. I also needed him to give me her address…he would only be willing to do that if he felt I was doing what I should.

He was sitting in his office filling out paperwork.

"Edward, how are you son?" He asked barely looking up from his desk.

"I want to go to Phoenix, Dad. I have to see Bella in person."

That got his attention.

"Edward, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"That's why I'm here. I need you to tell me this is the right thing to do. I feel that it is but I'm scared…scared she will turn me away…never hear me out."

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"Do you know what you will say to her, son? Are you going to tell her about all the women you've been bedding? How are you going to deal with her being pregnant? You have said it yourself, that you do not wish to have children. These are all things you need to seriously consider before you go off to Phoenix and change her world. Whether she is willing to hear you out or not, you need to think about everything."

"Dad, I haven't slept around for awhile now…and even when I did it was just to get her out of my head. But regardless, I do understand how stupid and wrong it was, and yes…I plan on telling her about the women. I don't want there to be any secrets between us any longer. I want to start over with her with a completely clean slate."

He nodded, "Yes, that is good. Honesty is always the best bet. But what about the children issue, Edward? How do you plan on getting past that?"

"I have been thinking about that a lot lately. And I was already leaning towards actually wanting kids and then something incredible just happened in the emergency room. I just had a patient who was a spitting image of a young Bella. Dad, something came over me. I watched this little girl interact with her dad. I want that! I need that! I want children…with Bella."

He folded his hands together and smiled a small smile.

"And what about the fact that she is already pregnant…by another man?"

"I want to be a dad to any child she will give me…biologically mine or not. I will love them as much as I do their mother. I love her…it's always been her! She is the one…there is no doubt in my mind about anything any longer!"

The smile that broke out across my father's face was contagious. He was grinning like a fool and I suddenly realized that I was as well.

"So what do you think, Dad?"

"I think…go get her, son!" He wrote something down on a small piece of paper and got up from his desk to bring it to me. He hugged me and gave me the paper with a smile.

Without any goodbyes, I turned and ran from his office. I quickly stopped by the nurse's station to let them know I was leaving.

"What do you mean you are leaving? You can't just take off, Dr. Cullen," Leah said curtly.

I figured it was taking everything in her to stay professional and not say what she really wanted to say, which probably included a string of profanities. I knew I did not want to say why I was leaving or where I was going. She was Bella's stepsister after all. Chances are if she knew I was about to go surprise her sister, she would warn her. I did not want that.

My father came to my rescue. "Dr. Cullen isn't feeling well. I'll be taking over for him the rest of today. Go home and feel better, son."

I faked a cough and tried to look as grim as possible to sell what Dad had just said. Leah's eyebrow arched and if I didn't know better, I would swear she had a slight knowing smirk on her face as she said, "Well…take your ass home then. We don't need anymore sickness in here." She looked away and went back to the chart she was working on.

I turned and ran from the hospital as fast as my legs would take me.

I drove home at record speed and threw on the first articles of clothing I could find.

For the first time in a long time, the last thing I cared about was how I looked. I grabbed my wallet, phone, keys and hauled ass to the airport.

When I arrived at the airport, I was running through it like a crazy person. I was surprised they didn't call security on me for acting oddly. The girl at the ticket counter questioned my strange behavior and I told her the truth. I had to get to Phoenix to stop the love of my life from marrying someone else.

She swooned and made sure she had me on the first flight out to Phoenix. I was going to go get my girl…and we would figure out all the repercussions later of her being pregnant by another man.

The flight took forever. I found myself willing the plane to go faster. Unfortunately, it still moved at the same speed and did not listen to me.

I decided to try to doze off for the rest of the flight to shut my mind off from being so anxious.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

I heard the beautiful, tiny voice and felt the bed vibrating beneath me.

I knew it was my five-year old daughter who was bouncing up and down on the bed trying to wake me. I decided to play along and pretend to sleep a little longer.

"Daddy! Up Daddy! Mommy says it's time to get up!"

Without warning, I rose up in a hurry from the bed and grabbed my little munchkin tackling her to the bed, careful not to hurt her. Then the tickling began.

I tickled her persistently and her adorable giggles filled the bedroom. I loved this little girl so much. She, her mother and brother were my entire life.

"Dad! Mom says you have to get up or you're going to be late for work," my son said standing in the doorway.

He was three years older than his sister was and had not called me "Daddy" in awhile. I missed it but he was growing into a fine young man.

I motioned him over until he was close enough to the bed for me to pull him down too. I then began tickling them both relentlessly until I heard a throat clear at the door.

All three of us stopped our horsing around to see Bella standing there.

There she was.

My beautiful Bella. Mother of my children…love of my life.

She was standing with her arms folded across her chest, looking quite amused.

"I hate to be the one to break up the party, but we are all going to be late. Come on Cullens! We have to get ready for our day!" She laughed and left to go back to the kitchen.

"Okay, kiddos. I guess your mother is right. We better get moving or we will all be late to work and school."

We removed ourselves reluctantly from the bed and joined Bella at the kitchen table. She had prepared an amazing breakfast of French toast, bacon, eggs and hash browns. I did not know how she did it.

She worked…was amazing an mother and an awesome wife. I could not have been happier.

We were all sitting around the table chitchatting while eating breakfast. I was grinning from ear to ear and could not stop.

Bella asked me what I was smiling so big about and I said, "I'm just extremely happy. I've never been happier."

"Oh really?" She asked with a smile.

"Kids, I need both of you to go brush your teeth and start getting dressed for school," she said to our children.

They wiped their mouths and left the table to do as their mother said.

Bella placed her silverware down on the plate and made her way over to where I was sitting. She draped her body across my lap and whispered in my ear, "We're pregnant."

My smile grew bigger. "Seriously?"

"Yes," she said as she gently pressed her lips to mine.

"So…are you happier?" She asked while laughing.

"Most definitely," I said honestly.

I was wrong…I could be happier and was extremely thrilled to become a father for the third time.

The turbulence of the plane jolted me from my sleep and the amazing dream I was having. The flight attendant announced the plane would be landing soon and I sat up straight in the seat wiping the sleep from my eyes.

I wanted to go back to my dream but hopefully I would be able to make that dream a reality.

I was antsy as I waited for the plane to land. Once it landed, I made my way through the gate and the airport as fast as possible.

I grabbed a cab and gave the driver the address my father had given me before I left Forks.

All throughout the drive, I tried playing out how my reunion with Bella would go. Would she at least hear me out? Would she send me away? Would she welcome me warmly? Would she slam the door in my face and never speak to me again?

"Sir, we're here," the driver said breaking me away from my thoughts.

I paid the cab driver and got out, shoving my hands in my pockets as I looked up at the apartment building in front of me. Every step closer to where Bella was, my pulse started racing faster, palms were sweatier, and I felt like I was going to burst with nerves and excitement of seeing her again face to face.

As I approached her apartment door, I heard Bella's beautiful voice. She was either talking to someone in her apartment or to someone on the phone.

After taking several deep breaths, I knocked on the door.

She opened the door in a hurry. She was laughing and it was a glorious sound to my ears. She looked more amazing than I remembered and she had the pregnant woman glow.

"Forget your key old lady…" she said and she stopped her sentence immediately when she saw me.

Nervously, I shoved my hands back in my pockets. I didn't want to have the urge to touch her immediately and startle her from letting me in. I was filled with relief at seeing her beautiful face finally after all these months.

Millions of thoughts were running through my head, and I had to think of something to say to her.

Speak Edward

Say something

Say anything

Tell her you love her and do not ever want to let her go

Tell her she is the one and it has always been her

Tell her you regret choosing Tanya the first time and won't ever make that mistake again

Tell her you will spend the rest of your life making up for all the pain you have caused

Speak God damn it

"Hi," I breathed.

Seriously? That was my big statement to the woman I loved…

Hi…

I would not blame her if she slammed the door in my face and told me to leave her alone forever.

Author's Note: OK so I am very sorry if you guys hate me for making you feel like you read the same chapter over again but I felt it was very important for you to hear from Edward how he got to the point of ending up in Phoenix and a lot of you were asking in reviews how the hell he knew her address or where exactly to find her. I just need you guys to hang on for a little longer. Many are extremely mad at Bella right now. Just remember she is BEYOND hormonal. She has not one but TWO babies in there making her hormones crazed. And is she doing the wrong thing keeping Edward, Esme & Carlisle in the dark? YES absolutely. BUT she thinks she is doing the right thing for her kids. And I'm giving you fair warning now…it won't be Bella who spills the beans to Edward. It will be someone you guys are probably least expecting. Next POV is back to Bella. You know what to do!

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