The best singers sound like they're singing directly to you, read the whiteboard on the far left of her desk. It was a quote Nico heard long ago, one she couldn't remember from whom, perhaps from one of her vocal coaches, but the words hit her so hard that it immediately became her mantra for her song-writing sessions. It was a routine for her; whenever she sat down at her desk with the intention of writing lyrics, she wrote that quote, as if to reinforce what her standard of writing should be.
After all, if she wanted to be the number-one idol in the world, she would need to write number-one idol-worthy songs, absolute masterpieces that nobody ever expected to hear with soaring melodies and equally-fitting lyrics. She'd need to write music that could move mountains, initiate world peace, end intergalactic conflicts, even.
With such lofty goals, it came to no surprise that she tore a page out of her notebook, a mess of ideas and phrases that didn't sound quite right to her, balled it up, and threw it into her wastebasket. The ball of paper bounced against the rim and fell to the ground, missing its target and joining the collection of paper balls that failed to make the mark. Nico didn't even notice; she returned her focus to the only part of her room that she had lit: the notebook, captured in the spotlight of her reading lamp. Those words were left in the dark.
Nico grumbled to herself, tapping her eraser against the page. She didn't want to think about the amount of notebooks she had sacrificed to material that just didn't work for her. It was certainly more than the amount of notebooks she used for all her schoolwork. Maybe it would have been a better use of her time to actually do some homework instead of sacrificing what could have been an English notebook on lyrics that she never found to be worthy of the harmonies she hadn't even made for them.
The less she spoke about her staff paper notebook, a gift from Cotaro that she gave Nico because of its pink cover and the word "music" written across it in bubble letters that ended up being nothing more than wastebasket filler, the better. She could probably find someone who was actually versed in music composition to help her out with that, as long as they knew what they were doing.
Nico put her pencil down with a defeated sigh. These nights came so often to her, where the spotlight was filled with the back of Nico's head as she resoundingly resigned from her creative endeavors with a groan, the only mark on the page an indent from her forehead. She only pulled herself away from the page enough for her to look at the clock, which blared the time of 8:30 back to her in neon red. It was way too early for her to burn out. Maybe it was time for her to change topics.
Except that wouldn't fly. Every idol needed to know how to sing a love song. They made up so much of the charts, and everywhere Nico went, she heard songs about love, about getting together, about kissing and making families and even the occasional one about marriage. As the days grew shorter and colder, she knew that they'd just be getting worse, with the radio clogged with songs about Christmas and the young love that came with it. Nico couldn't not miss this prominent genre of songwriting.
Maybe if she knew what it felt like, it'd be easier.
Nico sat back up, throwing herself into the ring once more. She turned to her left, looking at her whiteboard and what she wrote, and the pink stuffed rabbit that leaned against it. She grabbed her lamp and tilted it so the light shone on the stuffed animal, and she squinted at it. She felt the gears in her head turning, but instead of words, all she could think of was how painful it felt to feel them grinding in her head. It was like she was working on a math test, figuring out an equation that would tell her what love was like.
The rabbit stared back with the same lifeless expression it always had, not responding as Nico mouthed an "I love you" as a desperate attempt to get in the mood. If she could sing to anyone, she could sing to her stuffed animals and get a reaction, in theory. Alas, the rabbit was unmoving. Nico pouted, resting her hands against the table. She pushed her chair back with her hips and stood up, taking a few steps away from her desk and towards the light switch.
Nico closed her eyes, reeling from how much the light filled the room, and once she opened them, she was greeted to the pastel-yellow walls of her room, covered with pictures of idols (including a few pictures of herself) and pink stars and diamonds. She had been aware enough not to hit her leg against the small table in the room, her "snack table," as it were. Heading away from her door were her stuffed animals resting on the bed and the desk right next to it, where she'd be returning to once she got back in the spirit.
What mattered to her most, though, was her mirror. She turned to face it and stared down her reflection, the determined gleam in its eyes and the serious half-smile on her face. Her white hoodie, with two ears flopping from it similar to a bunny's, covered her head, its ears swaying slightly as Nico got into position, turning away from the reflection with a half smile. So it had come to this.
She turned around and threw her hands into the air, her middle and ring fingers curled. "Nico Nico Nii!~ Your heart belongs to Nico-Nico!" Her hands, fittingly made the shape of a heart as she spoke before falling into a salute. "I'm the number-one idol in the world, Nico-Nii!"
It was something that her father gave her, that nickname, that idea of what an idol was. It was the last thing that she remembered about him, how he gave her a toy microphone and she babbled into it and she just loved the way that her parents gave her wide smiles. It was so much to her, and became even more as the time away from her father grew longer. It was always enough to give her a smile on her face.
But now, she felt a surge of dedication running through her. She felt like she could conquer the world. She was the number-one idol in the world, and she was going to make sure the whole world knew. She faced her door, turned off the light, and headed to her desk, making sure not to injure herself on the way back.
Once more, she faced the illuminated page, once an empty abyss now a canvas for her ideas. She rested her right elbow against the desk and turned to face the stuffed rabbit once more, giving it a wide smile before declaring her love to it. Even if it didn't respond, the silence was enough to elicit a giggle from Nico, and at that moment, she knew that she was ready to begin writing. She grabbed her pencil and put the lead to paper, drawing out the first line of the first character-
BRRZZZZZ! BRRRZZZ!
-and ruining it as she jumped from the sound of her phone vibrating against her desk. Nico groaned and put her pencil down, wondering who could be messaging her at this hour. She grabbed her phone and turned it on, the image of herself against a hot pink backdrop cut off by a notification.
Nozomi sent you a link!
Of course it was Nozomi. If there was anyone who would message Nico at nine at night, it was Nozomi. Not that she minded seeing that mischievous, green-eyed smile whenever she turned on her phone and saw her contact image. Just, out of all the time in the world that she could have messaged her, it was when she was making headway into the hardest project she had ever come across.
Her phone buzzed in her hand.
I think youd be interested in this Nicocchi!
Nozomi sent an additional message, and she opened her messages. The message with the link was embedded, showing a picture of a jack-o-lantern where the pumpkin was black and the eyes were neon orange, with large triangle eyes and a sinister, fang-filled smile. Underneath, in flashy purple letters, were the words Late Fall Bash!
This could be interesting. She sent Nozomi a quick message before clicking on the link: ill check this out.
Nozomi sent her a message immediately, even before the link finished loading on her phone.
^O^
Nico shook her head, a mirthful smile playing on her lips. Classic Nozomi. She didn't respond, though; before she could even touch her keys, her phone booted up its web app, giving her a white screen as it loaded up the website. Nico put her phone down, returning her focus to her project in the meanwhile. She hoped she still had what she had in mind, giving her stuffed rabbit her signature hand gesture in hopes that it would jog her memory.
After a bit of thought, she finally broke through the grinding of gears, finding words that made sense together and sounded cute coming from her voice. She turned to her writing compatriot and, after taking a deep breath, sang her lyrics aloud.
"I want to st-"
"GET DOWN, GET UP, PACK IT IN, DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! I LOVE DANCING MOONLIGHT!"
Nico groaned, looking at her phone, practically bouncing on the desk as it blared whatever club music was playing. This had been the second time this party ruined her train of thought. Turning down the volume on her phone, part of her wanted to flip it over and pretend that it wasn't even there so she could, for the third time, figure out what lyrics she wanted for her song (and, maybe if she were lucky, she'd figure out a melody as well).
The more she looked at her screen, though, the more it enticed her. Between the garish Halloween-esque decorum, complete with that image of the inverted jack-o-lantern that greeted her with the embed, at least the webmasters were smart enough to use a black background with white text. Nico squinted, scrolling past an image of a few people in high school in Halloween costumes before seeing what the commotion was about.
Big High School Late-Fall Bash! The site read in large, cursive letters. Underneath was a description in sans-serif font.
Open to all high schoolers in the Tokyo area! The Ropponogi Experience! Only ¥2000! 10/11! Be there or be scare!
Nico rolled her eyes at the pun, and brought her phone to the desk, but before she could let go of it, it vibrated in her hand. She looked at the screen, which now showed a picture of Nozomi's contact image, along with two buttons telling her to pick up or hang up. Nico would never hang Nozomi up. She brought the phone to her ear, letting out a deep sigh.
"Hiya, Nicocchi!"
"What do you want, Nozomi?"
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go to that party I texted ya about!"
Nico tapped her foot against the ground, pushing her chair closer to her desk. "I was just reading up about that," she said. "What's the big deal about it?"
Nozomi let out a gasp that sounded hurt. "Wow, Nicocchi! I want to do something awesome with you. At least, something more exciting than being in your room all day." She giggled after finishing, trying her best to keep her hurt tone as she continued. "It's the biggest party of the year!"
"Nozomi," Nico said, "I'm not good with parties. I try introducing myself to people and they laugh. Just because you're able to handle social situations doesn't mean that I can-"
"It's a party befitting the number-one idol in the world!"
Of course Nozomi had to say that. Even if it was clear what she was doing, there was just a part of her that wanted to take the bait.
"Come on, Nicocchi! You might even find someone there!"
If there was ever a person who could convince Nico to go to a party like this, it was Nozomi, and she was doing her job well. As much as she wanted to say something about how the number-one idol in the world was "above partying," the idea of finding a special someone did seem enticing to her, in a weird way. At the very least, it could be a launching point for a lot of ideas. Turning to look at her whiteboard, Nozomi continued.
"I think it'd be helpful if you're still thinking of writin' songs, Nicocchi."
Nico squeezed her phone, feeling a warmth rush up her back. "I am not writing songs right now, Nozomi!"
Nozomi giggled. "That kind of accusatory tone says otherwise, Nicocchi. Anyway, if you want to go, we can go together! Think of it like a girls' night out!"
If only Nozomi could see how much she was rolling her eyes at that comment. Leave it to her to make something sound so outrageously corny. Yet, even through that corniness, she couldn't help but feel attracted to the idea. It had been awhile since she did anything meaningful with Nozomi, especially since they were put in different classes for their third year…
"That sounds like a good idea!" Nico said against her better judgment. It hurt getting those words out, but it was so worthwhile hearing Nozomi yell joyously into the phone, even if it meant she had to recoil at how suddenly loud she was.
"Yay!" Nozomi yelled. "I'm so excited! Do ya have a costume you wanna wear, Nicocchi? It's a costume party!"
Nico shrugged. "I think I can think of something," she said, before hearing Nozomi giggling on her end. She spoke up before she could be interrupted, making sure the idea Nozomi definitely thought was "genius" wasn't spoken: "and I'm not going to wear those bunny ears, Nozomi!"
"It was such a cute costume, Nicocchi!"
"That was two years ago, Nozomi!"
"So? You'd probably still fit in it!"
Nozomi's laughter made clear that she was joking, but at the same time, Nico did not find it funny in the slightest. She looked down at her chest, as diminutive as it ever was, before looking up, muttering under her breath. "Look, Nozomi, just because I don't have to get a new bikini ever summer doesn't mean-"
"Nicocchi, I'm joking!" Nozomi reiterated, but it did barely anything to quell her anger.
"I'm not wearing the bunny suit though! I'll probably go as something else!"
"What'd you go as for Halloween this year?" Nozomi asked, trying to change the subject.
Nico sighed. "I ended up helping with candy this year," she replied. "Mama wanted to trick or treat with the siblings, and I wanted to make sure someone was at the door. I just put on some cat ears and wore that. I'm not sure it's much of a Halloween costume."
Nozomi hummed. "I see. I'm not sure that you have to wear a costume. I'll check on the website and… oh! You don't if ya don't wanna, but what's the fun in that?"
"You have any ideas," Nico asked, "that don't include a bunny suit?"
Nozomi giggled. "You'll have to give me a few to figure something out for you. Oh! Maybe you'd make a cute magical girl!"
Nico smiled at the idea. Magical girls were like idols, in a sense, but they had magical powers instead of microphones. They were definitely cute role models that wore cute outfits. Nico liked the idea. "You know it, Nozomi!"
"You know I do, Nicocchi. Anyway, I'm gonna do a bit more homework, so I'll talk to ya later, yea?"
"Mhm," Nico nodded. "Have a good night!"
"You too, Nicocchi! I'll talk to ya tomorrow!" Nozomi hung up, and Nico put her phone on the desk, screen facing downward. It was finally time for her to return to her work, staring at that illuminated piece of paper. It was her canvas, where she could put the world of her thoughts down and make them permanent. With the sole exception of that one scribble, that one stroke of a character long forgotten and mangled, the paper was blank, inviting Nico.
Putting her thoughts into words meant nothing when she was at a loss for them. It was clear what she was writing before the phone call, but it was much harder for her to think about it now that the party was on her mind. A Ropponogi-style party, no less; part of her was excited just thinking about it and the other part of her was almost disgusted in herself for loving it. She had heard the stories of those kinds of parties, and how awful they could become. At the same time, maybe it was time for her to cut loose for a bit and enjoy her life. She had one more year before college constricted her time.
What helped soothe her was a quick glance back at her screen, and she read a few more words that she missed the first time: school ID required. At least there was no fear of things getting too out of hand. Maybe, if she read more about this party, it'd alleviate her concerns further and help her recognize that she indeed made a good call deciding to go.
Thus, for the fourth time, she ignored her paper and read through the website. Outside of where it was located, though, there was nothing important: just more pictures of parties before and a biography of the DJ who was going to be there. She put her phone down again once she reached the bottom, and returned to her notebook.
Nico discarded the page and threw it at the wastebasket, missing once again. Back to square one. Her eyes widened as she could see the cover through the final pages. She swore that she started using it only a few days ago; how could she almost be done with it?
Maybe Nozomi was right. She needed to do something to get her brain working, and maybe the party was exactly what she needed.