It was a girl's night for me, my beautiful roommate Kate, and my bestest, dearest, gayest hispanic friend, Jose.

Kate had long since passed out, which gave Jose and myself a chance to spill a few secrets.

"I know you're gay, Jose, but was it nature or nurture?"

"I used to be straight, Ana, but I had a religious experience that changed my sexuality forever."

Ooh... a religious conversion.

"Do tell," I said. "Do tell."

"Well," Jose began, "I was riding the bus when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen climbed on board. The only problem was, she was a nun. I just had to approach her, anyway. 'Sister,' I told her, 'you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you."

"'Sorry,' she said, sweetly, 'but I have promised the Lord to remain a virgin.'

"With that, she pulled on the cord to stop the bus, and, when the bus stopped, she got off. I was heartbroken. The bus driver must have seen that, because he told me, 'Hey, buddy, if you really want to, I know a way you could have sex with her.' I was all ears, so he continued, 'Every afternoon at exactly three o'clock she goes to confession, and...'

"I broke into a smile hearing his plan, thinking to myself, 'You know, this just might work.'

"The next day was the bus driver's day off. He went to the church at 2:30 to distract the priest for me. At 2:45, I showed up at the church dressed like a priest. I went into the confessional and waited for the nun. Sure enough, at exactly three o'clock, she entered her side of the confessional and said, 'Bless me, father, for I have sinned...'

"'Excuse me, sister,' I interrupted, 'but I have received a message from God. He has told me that you and I must have sex together immediately.'

"'Well,' the beautiful nun answered, 'if God has decreed it, then it must be so. However, because I have promised the Lord to remain a virgin, I will only have anal sex in the dark.'

"Heck, that got me even more excited than I already was. I agreed immediately, and we began to make mad, furious love. It was the best sex I ever had. After it was over, however, my conscience began to get the better of me, and I just had to confess the deception. I turned on the light and said, 'Surprise! I'm the guy on the bus!'

The nun turned around, laughing.

"Surprise! I'm the bus driver!'"