Warning: this fic contains spoilers for the 2020 reboot. It also mentions COVID-19.
"So sibs, how do you think this whole reboot thing is going so far?"
"I like it! Our animation is adorable! The songs are catchy!"
"And I got to swear on TV!"
"You were a little intense in episode 11, though, Yakko."
"Yeah, what was that about?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Your soul left your body."
"That happened twice this season."
"We're concerned about the time we didn't cause it."
"Oh. That. Well, we're toons. We've got to entertain our viewers, right? That's our purpose. But I couldn't do that when there wasn't anyone there to entertain. And then I didn't know what to do, so I panicked."
"Aww. You don't need to worry about that, Yakko. We don't have any viewers!"
"How can you say that?"
"Because we're not on television. Right now we're in a story. We have readers."
"What do you mean a story? Like a script?"
"No, this story was written by a fan."
"Our fans make our content now? Does this mean we're finally free from the Warner Brothers studio?!"
"NO!"
"Yakko, you can't say things like that! They could sue Panda for copyright infringement!"
"Give her a second, she'll fix it."
"Disclaimer: PortalPanda does not own and has no affiliation with the Animaniacs, any of the Animaniacs characters, or the Warner Brothers Studio. She does not claim copyright of any of these characters. She is not making any kind of profit off this story."
"I can't believe she made you say that! As if anyone would pay her to read this! And 'no affiliation with the Animaniacs-' that's worded a little strongly, don't you think? If she doesn't want us here, why did she bother writing this?"
"I think the real question is, why did she bother writing this if she's not getting paid?"
"I told you, she's a fan! And our fans adore us!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean to tell me that people spend their time and energy making content of us just because they like us?"
"That, or they don't have a life."
"Probably a bit of both. Don't worry- I'm in direct contact with the author. I can say that."
"So, fiction, huh? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we've ever been in a medium without visuals before."
"A lot of our humor relies on visuals. And Panda isn't even writing descriptions!"
"Apparently, even the admiration of fans only runs so deep."
"But seriously, how do visual gags work without visuals? Like if Dot saws a hole in the floor around me- ah, thanks for the help, sis."
"No problem!"
"And I start to f
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OOF!"
"Does that work?"
"I guess so. Wow, that one gag almost took up a whole page."
"Hey, how did you land back inside the water tower after you fell through the floor?"
"Don't question it, Wakko. Panda didn't describe the first setting, and she's sure as heck not gonna describe a new one."
"Hey wait a minute, if this isn't official Animaniacs material, does that mean we can swear?"
"Again?"
"Let's find out! #$%!"
"AHAHAHA!"
"How did you make that sound with your mouth?!"
"I don't know, but I wanna try! #$%!"
"Hey! Watch your #$%ing language! ... Ahem. It seems our author is a goody two shoes who won't even let other people use curse words."
"Lame."
"But she did get close enough to the actual swears that people can probably figure out what we were trying to say."
"I guess."
"I don't know about you guys, but I think I like being written instead of animated! This is so much faster! It doesn't take two years to get the final product!"
"Well, that depends on who's writing it."
"But writing us is so much faster than drawing us! Look! I said a sentence! And another one! Zap! Pow! Bang!"
"Those aren't sentences, Wakko, they're just sound effects. This writing is getting sloppy."
"No, wait! I can move faster, too!
Look! Now I'm down here!
Now I'm over here!
Back over here!
Made you look!
Now I'm flying in the air, way above my siblings who are stuck on the ground! And the author isn't going to explain how any of this works because you can't see it anyway! Cool!"
"HEY!"
"Sure, this medium works fine for you two, but what about me? You can still talk, and you can still eat, but I'm the cute one! My specialty needs visual aids!"
"Maybe Panda could add some illustrations for you."
"Please, you think she'd be a writer if she had any artistic talent?"
"I thought you were the witty one now?"
"I'm both!"
"Except for that time you left Elizabeth Truman out of the song about all the first ladies."
"Hey! That wasn't my fault!"
"I told you, you have to give yourself more time to work on songs. Did we learn nothing from Wakko's countries of the world debacle?"
"Debacle? I wrote that song!"
"Yeah, but you couldn't sing it without messing up! You didn't give yourself enough time to rehearse, so I had to perform it!"
"As I recall, I still had to help you learn it."
"Yeah, I remember how many takes it took, too."
"Still not as many as that time you couldn't say your own name."
"Alright, alright, we get it! No one can talk as much as you can!"
"Thank you! I think."
"Speaking of talking, is it hard for anyone else to tell which of us is speaking?"
"There are only three of us, Wakko."
"I didn't mean for me! I meant the readers!"
"That's easy! Yakko is the one who talks too much-"
"Hey!"
"I'm in communication with the author, and Wakko says everything else."
"You mean I'm just here to ask redundant questions and provide filler?"
"Exactly!"
"Wait- do you guys realize what this new medium means?"
"Hey! Dot just said I'm supposed to ask the redundant questions!"
"We can do material with current events now! Current current events! Not current events from two years ago!"
"Uh, Panda says that might not be the best idea."
"Why not?"
"Remember that skit we did in the first episode of the reboot where we joked about everyone being stuck inside?"
"Oh my gosh, did we predict the polar bear overlords?!"
"No. But apparently there's a global pandemic."
"A PANDEMIC!? Quick sibs! Put on your gas masks! Put on your hazmat suits! Seal the tower door!"
"WHAT?"
"Of all the years for a reboot! Was anyone going to tell us that all the homes we went into might be contaminated?!"
"Yakko, why are you so freaked out about this?"
"WE DON'T HAVE IMMUNE SYSTEMS! OR ORGANS! Hey- is Panda wearing a mask as she writes this?"
"No. She takes the pandemic really seriously, but right now she's in her own house."
"BUT WE'RE HERE!"
"She says we're safe behind the screen."
"You mean the fourth wall? Doesn't she realize how easily that breaks? Listen! Readers! PLEASE stay home when you can and wear a mask when you go out! Keep toons like us safe!"
"And people like Panda, who have suppressed immune systems."
"And people like me, who want to go back to eating out at restaurants!"
"Wakko, you didn't even know there was a pandemic until 157 words ago."
"Yeah, but I haven't gone out to eat this whole fic!"
"Yakko, it's good to take precautions, but do you think you might be overreacting?"
"Why, because he's boarding up the door to the water tower?"
"Hey! I have never been over dramatic about anything, ever, in my life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go scream into the void for five hours."
"Yakko, wait! Before you go, Panda wants me to tell you that you've made a lot of people feel better this year by giving them something to laugh about during a difficult time. We all have. Our fans still love us after all these years, and we're getting a lot of new fans, too. So try not to worry so much, ok? People still think you're funny. They always will."
"Even if you're just making jokes about the things you're anxious about."
"What? I never do that! … Don't look at me."
"Goodnight everybody!"
"HEY! That's my line!"